Hyuna
Thank you... for being someone dependable so soon. Tonight when I needed someone you were there with no hesitation. Falling right in close. But you’ve always been there haven’t you? I’ve just been a fool. And I’m sorry.
Everything I was looking for was here... someone to care for me. Love me. Almost unconditionally. Someone that would be on my side. Protect me. Treat me right. Someone that.. would build a future with me. Someone that would look only at me.
I mistreated you. Even as your friend. And I know it hurt watching me chase something that you knew was not meant to be. You knew before I did.
I don’t know what I ever seen in that person. But what I was looking for was in front of me all along. And you were right, I was wrong. And I’m sorry. Deeply. Because what I wanted they could never give me. And you were willing to give it to me from the beginning without me asking.
My pride isn’t too big when it comes to you. And giving you what small pieces are left of me. I do care for you. I do love you. And I do plan on treating you appropriately and perhaps we can move forward as a couple. In the future because there’s no rush.
I know pieces of you dislike me for what I did. Pieces of me dislike me as well. Actually a lot of me dislikes me.... for allowing this to happen when I knew deep down it was wrong.
That person is gone for good. Mutual decision. But also a solidified decision because I refuse to hurt you anymore.
I’m sorry. You deserve better than me but I’m going to try my best to give you what you deserve. This will NEVER happen again. You can kill me if it does.
-Jonghyun
