#zara e

[burnoutpoet]

i tried to be chilling

to live in the cold place

light myself a fire in the corner

warm my hands

chant

and be happy

am i a mystery

or am i difficult?

i don’t know your warmth

i am disturbed by it

no, i am pleased

or some restful place

in between

zara e

[burnoutpoet]

you have a light in you

tinted with a darkness

as we all do

but you find habitation in it

you crawl into its innards

and lay your head

you say, this is where i sleep now

do not disturb my rest

i’ll lay with you,

if that’s what you need

i’ll sleep close

and tell you of your shine

repeat and repeat the lines

until you can crawl your way out

or at least see the outside

- zara e

[burnoutpoet]

i knew death

i knew death five times over

how it curls its fingers with yours

how it whispers to you,

too calm not to be cruel

and i know anger

i know its eagerness

to rest in my face

in the creases between my brows

and in my pout

i knew hope

hope that when i rose again

i'd be more cunning this time

intuitive, sharp in my prevention

of raw feeling

then i met you

now i want to know love

i want to know why my breath

catches in my chest

when you're near

i want to know why

my thighs remember you

and ask for you in the night

why i shake

when i'm scared you'll be leaving me

why i cry

when you've been absent too long

i knew hate

i knew distrust

and even lively bliss

but now all i want

is to know you

and all you know

and all god knows about us

all the earth

and bubbling fire in its core knows

what the wind holds secret

and what truths

seep out of you with your sweat

and saliva

and how can i learn it all

to keep you close?

zara e

[burnoutpoet]

i was in a coffee shop today and this rly pretty girl walked in and she was like sunlight

she is blonde warmth and denim soul she is the beams through the window and the glow that settles on its pane she feels human, sane maybe more than she is slow sways to soft beats i can tell she is long days in cafes and tender kisses but uncompromising when she needs you i can tell

zara e

[burnoutpoet]

i’m an angry little thing it’s warm and it’s hate things bash into me the same way i threaten to rip them apart

i know the ground well i form to it every sunday below church bell grand and romanesque

it’s the summer of dread nights under moonlight in my death day dress

pretty and white reflecting her shine collect it for yourself, stargirl

rise from the mud sticky with your blood or stay home, vertical with the trees

zara e

[burnoutpoet]

here lies the seraphs 
on ground zero 
here is our sin 
served to us under the sun 
blinding my father, 
making him ill and mean

i heard if you catch light 
in your mouth, 
it swims in you 
at peace

so i stood beneath the moon 
every time it was plump and willing 
and took stars into my belly

a nihilist’s redemption, 
i thought, 
a search for 
something

still, i am here 
quiet in longing 
and temperamental, 
imploding with stardust

zara e

[burnoutpoet]

i had wars between each ear

i traveled to America

for soda pop and good drugs

but one ear told me to go back home

so i let wind to the sails

and took off to the mainland

where the leaves

we're a slightly different green

and the air felt lighter

ian says he wants to die most times,

i do too

so i roll for us out of gratitude

for your understanding,

on this pathetic night

we say cheers to the sad kids!

cheers to wine lips and good sex!

cheers to vengeance and big mistakes!

i've made some big mistakes

zara e

[burnoutpoet]

this was about my ex

it’s the song automatic the curve of your lip a warmness, a heat in utero, in the curve of your lip it’s the song automatic the lullaby in your creases, in your gleam it’s the tapping of foot on foot, hand on belly, thigh on thigh it’s the song automatic that you smudged on my cheek it’s the shake before the kiss i open with a big O a real wide mouth for you to start your song automatic zara e