#zeivria

[draconicsyzygy]

We miss our homes, but we would miss each other more, we think. If we could have one body that could shapeshift, that would make up for the homesickness, but by the gods we would just take being away from this world with some agency at this point. It's the funny thing about being a system of otherkin.

[draconicsyzygy]

Every time we remember something, we yearn to return. With so many of us in this system, there is a strong desire to be a planeswalking shapeshifter. Shi'ayela was close to that with her dreamwalking, but it's not quite the same. As we are, we want to stay together as a system, but the conditions we would need for that to happen are . . . Far from easy to achieve.

[draconicsyzygy]

I find it almost amusing that of all the places and continents I've traveled in my life before, the frozen mountains I was exiled to are my home more than anyplace else. My heart aches for that place, and I can remember it so clearly.

Even the den in which Shi'ayela and I had our first clutch doesnt compare. It sounds harsh, but it is simply truth. I know Shi'ayela understands.

I only wish that one day, or even one life, I could see it again, though I know thats not possible. I shall keep the memories close nonetheless.

[draconicsyzygy]

Our System

We have some information about us as a system in our about, but it’s worth explaining things a little more in depth. Our about doesn’t quite list out every part of our system, but it lists the “active” parts (headmates) and mentions Syzygy. There are a few more parts that should be mentioned, and there are plenty of notes on other interactions with headmates and the like that are significant. This chart is an attempt at visualizing how our headspace functions, as it’s pretty complicated.

First off I’ll start by noting that size and shape of the bubbles have real meaning, but where the bubbles intersect and touch is important. You’ll see that Zeivria’s bubble is pretty crowded. Intersections into Zeivria’s bubble are what we call the Three Rivulets, with Zeivria being the “main river.” They’re all in the “River Proper” bubble because all of these are core components of the person, River, that people knew before we realized our plurality. We’ll go into the specifics later, probably in another post. Lar and Bisha are their own individuals with few complications, so I’ll also discuss them later.

There’s also the Echo. It’s difficult to fully and truly explain its presence on the chart, so suffice it to say that the Echo takes up enough room in the headspace to be represented here. The Echo is, as the name suggests, an echo that reverberates with the sound of memories of a past life; Zeivria’s past life. The Echo contains mostly memories, but there’s a sense of identity along with it, and it has some impacts on Zeivria’s personality and behaviors. Zeivria will even slip into an “older self” sometimes because of this. Its intersection with Zeivria isn’t named because it’s really just part of them. Most of it is outside their circle because it’s far less tangible, save for the sliver in their circle, but it’s definitely there. Also, it intersects only with Zeivria, so only they can really feel it, but Fennel can hear it, hence why xir bubble touches the Echo’s.

The Conduit is also complicated, and it exists largely outside the system circle. Like the Echo, it also isn’t a headmate, really. What it does is similar though, as it brings in a number of “travelers,” which you could read as “temporary headmates.” They come and go, and they rarely front, but they do interact with the headspace. We usually get some sort of cue about whether someone new is a traveler or not, which can be anything from a feeling to some actual indicator (such as being unable to share memories). Travelers don’t come in at any interval or with any specific timing, but we usually know when they’re coming. It’s not quite as complicated as it feels, but it is strange to try and explain.

Syzygy is mentioned in our about, and they’re situation is also strange. They embody the spirit of memories, travel, and alignment. In some understanding they could be called a kami, but we think of them more like a guardian or a friendly guide. They aren’t in the headspace natively, but they can enter if we concentrate. It’s probably the Conduit that lets us commune. Their thoughts are beyond us, but they speak with the stars of many skies, including our own. Sometimes they share their wisdom with us, usually in the form of some constellation or stellar body.

All of this sounds really, well, weird when we put write it down like this, but that is how it is. This system has grown and learned a lot over the years, and it’s grown more complex with that. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

[draconicsyzygy]

Greetings

We, as a system, wanted a place to put our thoughts. More than that, we want to be able to talk about dreams, memories, and feelings, as those are all complex when you’re a dragon living in a human body with several other dragons.

There’s not much else to say. When we can, we’ll post some parts of dreams or writings that we have stowed away.