#zeons thoughts

[zeondraws]

If I am randomly not posting for longer durations, it's currently because I'm just completely out of touch with reality

Too many relapses in such short intervals. Work stressed me out, stayed at home for numerous times because I slowly just developed the thoughts of ending it. Even tho it's the most illogical thing to think.

I just feel empty having to deal with ... same issues in my current workplace like what I had with the last job. Will it just continue with every new job in the future? Even tho it's not my fault and often the other person who wants to have power over me? Because they're too insecure to feel lesser than me, after only causing bad things to said workplace?

People appreciate my hard work but the closest person is always the one that hates my good work and tries to find ways to feel better about themselves. Just so they can continue treating everyone who works hard and honestly like garbage.

Man, what is this?

:(

[zeondraws]

I don't think I posted this drawing

I can't show any art yettt raaaaaaaaaa, I worked so much on my feather collection and that always drags me into doing more of that and then I forget art and then suddenly I get so interested in watching videos that I ""waste"" so much time doing that, resulting in me drawing until 4AM

It's not really a waste of time spent I just have the disease known as overworking herself for no reason.

(My friends think I have adhd and autism, but I can't confirm nor deny that, so it's whatever, I am too broke to get diagnosed, that shit expensive *opens empty wallet*)

Either way, I love that tiny sketch of Heatwave foaming at the mouth up there djannxkanxjd

One of the Heatwaves from my AU is also getting pushed into spending more time to draw against his will. So it made me wonder what kind of art Heatwave would ever draw if he were an artist?

I should go to sleep I start to overthink too much if I stay awake for so long-

[zeondraws]

Have birb, I think he has a quest for you.

Small TW down below, pet passing away

Business trip almost over, however mentally I'm still a mess, because I know I'll return to my toxic workplace after this once more..

And my budgie died a few days ago... I can't freaking believe she's gone. And I couldn't even see her alive one last time!!! I'm just grieving now, I'll miss her so badly. I miss my baby!!

I have to see if she goes to vet for autopsy or gets donated to a natural history museum instead. I don't know, I am dreading my way back home.

Idk how my other budgie Kaza is gonna deal with this now.

[zeondraws]

I don't know, cook and becker hasn't replied to my question about the artbook yet. I've not been feeling good due to mood swings, so I feel sad that probably nothing will happen.

Idk, I wish I could help the community more, but I can't and it makes me sad. Not sure if sending another email would do anything or be counted as annoying.

I at least didn't notice a reply yet, already worried I didn't see something but no, nothing.

[zeondraws]

Budgie posting

[zeondraws]

Was at an event for 3 days, it's over now so me sad but.

Never in four million years did I think I had the opportunity to ask someone who used to work at Spongebob for a DRAWING. WHAAAT

Bdjsbdjendjsndnd

IT'S TWO PAGES EVESNKQSNWKSNKS

I can't wait to frame them!! Tho I need to buy something to protect them from UV rays.

Always love going to art events, I wish I had the budget to attend more this year ;a; I don't know who of you guys live in the region, but if you ever want to do something cool in the Netherlands, visit tAD in Eindhoven next year!

A bunch of talks included Spongebob this year and I'm just shdjsjsjjs

Sponge;;;;;

!!!!

[zeondraws]

Never know how to feel about work at times considering I have one of the most incompetent coworkers I've ever known. They're the nicest human being on the planet, but you ask yourself how did they get this job and keep it for so long?

I get yelled at for doing my job, because they want to feel important and be an authority above me, even tho they yap nonsense.

My current workspace is definitely way better than my old one, that basically made my depression extremely bad and just made my anxiety worse.

This workplace is, chill. I basically have to make sure the adult baby that is my coworker accepts the fact that his private belongings don't belong in the collection rooms I'm managing. I found food and chewing gum at some point (the room is full of toxic chemicals that can be found inside the dust on tables etc).

Just imagine you're at work and one of your coworkers decides the entire workplace is their living room. So they bring all their private belongings and get angry if you throw something out or shove it back to them.

What?

[zeondraws]

Very random thought I wanna write down for myself

I often wondered why I am always so drawn to horror. But I remembered that I grew up watching horror movies as a child and action movies that I shouldn't have seen. I mean it doesn't affect me badly these days, just gave me nightmares as a kid.

My mother struggled with schizophrenia so she couldn't take care of me that well. Often letting me watch along while she watched those movies or even with her friends. She is thankfully not suffering anymore, since she passed away almost four years ago. But it was a hard life for her.

And I think due to family not understanding me for years I grew up being so stressed and felt out of touch with them. It made things extremely difficult for me.

However since December I have realised things are finally healing with family. Them showing the emotional support they haven't given me years ago. I was so flabbergasted. Since I am extremely sensitive emotionally, but they haven't made experience with this before, so they struggled to understand what problems I had.

But I think everything I went through basically means I just love the concept of horror and play around with themes surrounding it.

So anyway, time to put rb characters into more horrors beyond their comprehensions.

I also watched Iron Lung yesterday and someone put up this cardboard of Markiplier after the credits rolled.

lmao