So this happened Friday afternoon but I just have to share it it’s making me crack up left and right but also making me vaguely uncomfortable now in my English professor’s presence.
I hang out in my English professor’s office a lot during her office hours cause no one shows up and she always has cool things to talk about. An hour or so into this my past meeting with her other English professors start walking past, so my professor brings them in to meet me. It’s like I’m her honorary kid. Speaking of kids she has two attending my college, a daughter a bit older than me and a son a couple months younger. She wants her kids and I to hang out, especially her son and I because “he needs some positive influences from people his age”. So anyway this professor, we’ll call her J, walks by and my professor, we’ll call her E, hadn’t seen J in for fucking ever, so they talk outside E’s office for a bit before E says “oh you have to meet Zadia”. So I get up from my chair and shake J’s hand and all that good stuff. E mentions that she wants to introduce me to her son, let’s call him G.
So what does J say, 30 seconds into knowing me.
She fucking says and I quote: “The two of you’d have beautiful babies”.
Hi
What the fuck?
I fucking turn around and go back to my chair and just look at my professor and say “I didn’t sign up for this” while uncomfortably laughing. I can’t read her facial expression for shit; is she also uncomfortable? Has she not viewed me before as a potential partner for her son? Had she, and was making the yeah that’s so true face?
And so the topic of conversation moves on to what classes J teaches, how I know E, shit like that, when J asks me if I’m Jewish. I say I’m not and she says:
Ooh that sucks if you were Jewish that would make your marriage with G even better.
And I’m still here like what the fuck and so E steps in and changes the topic. She also helped me explain they/them pronouns to J which was so nice of her.
Later that afternoon I met the son and he’s pretty cute so.......... J might not be coming up with some BS after all.
It’s not like I dislike J for this I appreciate her forwardness (from talking with her being direct and not beating around the bush is part of who she is), but it’s now weird talking to my English professor because now I just think about this conversation in the middle of class and have to try not to lose it.