#zinnia posts

[polyadvice]

Quarantine Changes for Polyamory Advice

Hello to all my readers!

This blog fell into an unplanned, unannounced hiatus for the past few months, and I apologize for that! The coronavirus shutdown sent a lot of us into a difficult tailspin, with creative projects taking a backseat to managing family, finances, and everything else that’s gone into ‘hard mode’ during this new period.

Readers have reached out to me to express two very understandable but somewhat conflicting desires: some people missed this blog because it provides content that is completely unrelated to pandemic news, and they wanted something to keep reading during quarantine; and some people wanted a place to answer their questions about the navigating the complexities of “social distancing” within a polycule.

So here is the plan: Polyamory Advice will resume its daily posting at 9am PST, and all those posts will be unrelated to the pandemic. Pandemic related posts will go up on the weekends, and will be tagged #pandemicadvice for anyone who wants to skip them.

Thanks for sticking with me! Please take care of yourselves and each other!

[polyadvice]

Polyamory Advice is back!

Hi friends! I apologize for the long and unannounced hiatus - I had a whole pile of things happen in my personal life. But I am okay, and this blog will resume with the new year! Daily posts at 9am PST, just like the good old days. Huge thanks to everyone who sent notes of concern and everyone who stuck around during the quiet time.

[polyadvice]

A note on posting frequency:

Hi all,

I took a bit of an unannounced hiatus over the past few weeks - I was camping with some of the youth I work with, and working out some complicated life issues regarding my career. During that time, I got a number of messages (with varying degrees of politeness) about my absence.

I am honored and overjoyed that this blog helps people and is meaningful enough for its absence to be noticed. I am so grateful to everyone who reaches out to me for advice and so humbled that all of you trust me enough with such personal and complex issues.

That said, this is not a paid gig for me, and I have a full time career, plus a couple of part-time gigs. I do my best to keep the queue stocked, and I feel awful about any lapses in posting.

Please know that if I don’t answer your question immediately, it’s not personal. I get a large number of questions daily, and am unable to answer every one as soon as I get it. Many people send me time-sensitive questions asking advice about impending situations, but I cannot promise that I’ll get to those in time.

Some people send me follow-up messages expressing shame, frustration, or abandonment when their questions aren’t answered. I feel awful that I can’t help everyone immediately, but please, don’t assume that an online columnist’s ability to respond to you quickly is a reflection of how worthy, interesting, or loved you are. I love and care about all of you, and I wish I could be present 100% of the time to be a guide and a listening ear, but I can’t.

If you are having an immediate mental health crisis, please call 911, your therapist, a trusted friend, or a hotline. 

If you have a rude or hurtful comment about my blog and whether it meets your preferences for updates, please go outside, take a breath, look at a plant, and direct your energies to something positive.