#zodiyactus

[zodiyactus]

What monq flavor you should buy according to your sign

Aries: Active (bitter orange, black pepper, sage)

Taurus: Mountain (juniper leaf, peppermint, scotch pine)

Gemini: Cheer (frankincense, palo santo, sweet myrrh)

Cancer: Ocean (eucalyptus, lime, tangerine)

Leo: Vibrant (ginger, lemon, spearmint)

Virgo: Focus (bergamot, black pepper, caraway, cardamom, cinnamon + more)

Libra: Love (cocoa, davana, siam wood)

Scorpio: Sexy (jasmine, lime, patchouli)

Sagittarius: Zen (frankincense, sweet orange, ylang ylang)

Capricorn: Relieve (ginger, helichrysum, spikenard)

Aquarius: Happy (fennel, thyme, vanilla)

Pisces: Sleepy (chamomile, kava, lavender)

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MONQ Aromatherapy-inspired wellness diffusers currently come in 11 stimulating blends of Therapeutic Air and counting. Our unique blends are

[zodiyactus]

What do monqs and astrology have in common?

They’re both probably fake but are really fun to use!

Follow this link for 10% off your monq purchase: https://monq.com/shop/ref/2613/

MONQ Aromatherapy-inspired wellness diffusers currently come in 11 stimulating blends of Therapeutic Air and counting. Our unique blends are

[zodiyactus]

The signs as snapchat filters

Aries: the one that looks normal until u open ur mouth and then it jumps out at u and makes ur eyes look huge and misshapen Taurus: the mirror one that makes it so theirs four of u Gemini: the Satan one Cancer: the crying one Leo: the one that covers your face in gold Virgo: the beauty one Libra: the dog filter Scorpio: all the HALLOWEEN ones Sagittarius: the one that turns u into toast Capricorn: the goat Aquarius: the alien one or the one that draws galaxies on ur face Pisces: the barfing rainbow

[zodiyactus]

The signs halloween costumes

Aries: a rock star of some sort, something to make them look edgy and cool

Taurus: Probably a snap chat filter

Gemini: Deff a killer clown or Donald Trump

Cancer: Does a group costume with their dog

Leo: Either is “too cool” to dress up, dress’s up as a slutty pumpkin, or as something totally inappropriate like a tampon. 

Virgo: Get the whole squad to do a group costume like OITNB

Libra: Does thing one and thing two with their BFF

Scorpio: Does a super elaborate makeup job which is actually pretty dope but no one appreciates the hours they spent on it

Sagittarius: Does something witty like a social butter fly or a ceiling fan

Capricorn: Does a witty joke like sag, but one that no one understands because its a weird ass saying only people above 60 say

Aquarius: Either does what the squad does or recycle’s their vampire costume they’ve been wearing since freshman year

Pisces: Does some sort of DIY which fails and ends up buying a unicorn onesie

[zodiyactus]

What the signs lack

Aries: rationality Taurus: an understanding of other people's opinions Gemini: a personality Cancer: happiness Leo: a filter Virgo: friends Libra: an opinion Scorpio: a lover Sagittarius: boundaries Capricorn: a vacation Aquarius: sympathy Pisces: a sense of reality

[zodiyactus]

The signs in sharknado

Aries: try’s do act all cool and confident but ends up freaking out and hiding in their basement playing GTA5 and waiting for it to pass Taurus: Scared to death but #FITETHESHARKS w/ chainsaws mofos Gemini: is shumshed by a shark in the first 5 minutes Cancer: Makes sure everyone is okay and provides orange slices as snacks Leo: Takes a role as the leader and try’s to lead people into stupid dangerous situations and ends up being eaten by a shark Virgo: plays GTA5 with Aries because screw this shit Libra: moves to Canada because that’s nothing bad ever happens in Canada Scorpio: doesn’t believe people when they say that there are FUCKING SHARKS in the sky Sagittarius: Thinks it’s fun to throw bombs into the tornado and saves the day with only one arm left Capricorn: makes bombs for sag and a little disappointed sag won’t let them throw any bombs Aquarius: finds some way to ride a shark off into the sunset Pisces: gets eaten by a shark trying to save a dog.,,,.,,,....,,. Because you know same

[zodiyactus]

Two ways of looking at things

Aries: hot headed // passionate Taurus: stubborn // patient Gemini: two faced // unpredictable Cancer: over sensitive // caring Leo: egocentric // confident Virgo: Control freak // detail oriented Libra: fake // helping others fit in Scorpio: manipulative // aspiring Sagittarius: blunt // truthful Capricorn: greedy // ambitious Aquarius: closed off // mysterious Pisces: absent // creative

[zodiyactus]

The signs in an argument

Treats their opinion as a fact: Aries, Gemini, Cancer

Very factual (actual facts not opinions): Virgo, Aquarius, Capricorn

Actually scary af (super aggressive): Scorpio, Leo

Never changes their opinion: Taurus

Try's to compromise: Libra

Runs away screaming and crying: Pisces