#zola.

[sclfcare]

she inhales a drag from her joint , eyes raising to meet her man's across the balcony , as the smoke dissipates from parted brims " are you looking up my skirt right now , mr. o'hara ? you're such a pervert . "

[sclfcare]

" i don't expect you to feel the same way or anything ... i ── i just really needed to tell you . i really hope i didn't just fuck everything up . " @pureshoney

[nevaehporter]

nevaeh hadn’t seen zola in a few days. she had essentially kept to herself for the most part. despite the texts and calls she had received, she had ignored most of them. she knew it was wrong, and she knew zo just wanted to help. but at this point, she was so...tired of everything that she wasn’t even sure if she wanted help. she just wanted everything to stop. but it didn’t. it kept on moving while nevaeh stood still and lethargic. 

she was trying to get through some homework, the only thing that actually brought her some sense of normalcy and structure when she heard a light knock on the door. she frowned, getting up from her desk and making her way to the door. there stood her cousin.

nevaeh’s heart ached a little when she saw zola. she knew that she had hurt her, by isolating her and icing her out. she wished they could go back to the way they were when zola visited ashmont when they were children. just two kids who were carefree and the only blood they ever thought about was from scraped knees and papercuts. but they couldn’t. they were here now. and now was different, now was painful, now was too much for nevaeh to handle. “hi,” she said in a weak voice, not knowing what else to say. 

@ofzola

[nevaehporter]

it had only been a few hours since the incident. she stayed until the police came, explaining everything to them, albeit with a shaky voice. after that, she tried to go back to her room and process what just happened. but all that happened was she just screamed and cried until she was rocking back and forth with her knees pulled to her chest on the floor. 

she decided that she couldn’t be alone. as much as she usually relished in being alone, being alone now terrified her. she was worried that another ‘ mural ’ or something of the sort would show up. she knew she had a target on her back from the person who had been tormenting her for the last few weeks since daisey’s disappearance and death. 

her eyes were blurry from the tears, her voice hoarse from the screaming. she wasn’t sure how she could feel normal tonight. she stopped rocking back and forth enough to take out her phone and text her cousin. “hey, do you think we can have that sleepover now?” although the text didn’t come out as coherently as that and was riddled with misspellings because she could barely see the screen. grabbing a couple of clothes and her stuff and cramming it into her small backpack, she made her way to zola’s room. knocking on the door lightly, she said in a hoarse voice, “hey, zo, it’s me.”

@ofzola

[nevaehporter]

☎

NAME: zo 💘💜💕RINGTONE: we are family by sister sledgePICTURE:

LAST TEXT RECEIVED: nev pls stop isolating urself ): u know it’s not healthyLAST TEXT SENT: i’m listening to my sad playlist on repeat 😔👌

[nevaehporter]

nevaeh wasn’t sure what to say. were there really any words for such a terrible death? was there anything she could say that would bring any comfort to her grieving family? was there anything she could say that would bring any comfort to herself? being at the wake felt surreal. nevaeh was still partly in denial. she was hoping this was all some elaborate fucked up prank. that ashton kutcher would jump out of the bushes and tell her she’s been punk’d. 

she had struggled with whether or not to go to the wake or not. she wasn’t sure if she should go or not. she felt like if she went, she would viewed as one of those people who didn’t really know daisey but was going to the wake to be a part of something or for the social media post. even though that wasn’t really true, nevaeh loves loved daisey, she didn’t know if it was appropriate to go.

she knew it was important to go though, because so many of her family members had close and important ties to daisey. her cousin oz had been the one to host the party the night she disappeared, along with being daisey’s ex boyfriend. and her cousin zola, was daisey’s roommate. as much as she was hurting from the loss, she couldn’t imagine what zola was going through.

she walked silently by zola and squeezed her hand lightly. the rutherford estate was so large and beautiful. nevaeh’s eyes wandered around the estate as she imagined daisey in each part. she imagined all of her childhood memories. how small she must have felt in a house that big. she looked at zola and said, “hey? how are you doing?”

@ofzola

[nevaehporter]

📷

📷: our muses taking photographs

zo had dragged nevaeh out of her room again. said she needed fresh air and company that wasn’t a paintbrush or a plant. as much as nevaeh wanted to resist, she knew that her cousin wasn’t going to let her pull another ‘ i’m just really tired today, zo ’ again. she wasn’t sure where they were going, zo wouldn’t tell nevaeh anything on her way over, just that it was good that she was finally getting out and interacting with the outside world after being holed up in her cocoon of isolation for so long. 

when they parked, nevaeh was confused. the outside appearance of the building seemed to be some sort of kids place. when she gave her cousin a dubious look, her cousin reassured her that she would love it. when they got in, she realized it was one of those interactive art exhibits where you paint and take pictures with art pieces. it reminded her of one of the places that nevaeh and zo used to go in georgia when she visited zo’s family.

nevaeh was actually having a good time. zo probably knew that she would enjoy an art exhibit, and it also allowed nevaeh to interact with other people and paint with someone other than herself and a glass of wine. she ran over to one of the bathtubs with candy filled in it. “get in, zo, i’m gonna take your picture!” she yelled over to her cousin.

zo got into the bathtub and jokingly pretended to eat some of the candy while nevaeh whipped out her phone and took several pictures. “okay, it’s my turn now,” she said, an uncharacteristic smile painted on her face as she hopped into the bathtub. “take my picture!” nevaeh threw the candy up in the air and laughed. “god, this place makes me feel like a kid again.”

[nevaehporter]

@ofzola

nevaeh and zola didn’t interact as much as they usually did at the party last night. usually at parties, nevaeh mostly hung by zola or one of her other friends. they talked for a few minutes but ended up going in different directions not soon after. nevaeh wasn’t sure what happened with zola at the party, but she was sure that zola must have heard about nevaeh’s night. considering she ended up consuming much more alcohol than she was used to and was seen crying by multiple people. it wasn’t a surprise when zola asked nevaeh to come over to check on her, that was just the kind of relationship the cousins had. she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be checked on at the moment, but she didn’t want to let zola down. so she knocked on her door and said, “hey zo, it’s nev.”