#zombie jesus

[theatheistgirl]

[Coming this Easter - Return of Zombie Jesus - back from the dead for one last supper.]

[demonofpuns]

The movie starts. Two men approach an open tomb by Jerusalem, in disbelief despite the scripture they read. No way this guy actually came back from the dead. No way he's just walking around again.

But who would've moved the stone?

As they approach, something seems wrong. The Roman guards are gone. There's blood on the ground. And... there's shuffling inside the tomb.

Intersection: Flashback.

Two Roman guards stand at their post, bored out of their mind, joking about those stupid people that think this guy is going to come back from being dead.

They abruptly stop when sunrise brings scratching sounds from inside the cave, followed by a groan.

The guards look at each other.

The guards swallow.

The guards roll the stone back, their faces turning shocked, horrified.

A hand grabs one of them and pulls.

Cut back to our two other guys, a couple hours later.

They approach the tomb, one of them tentatively whispering a "hello?"

His answer is a short, almost animalistic sound. The shuffling gets louder, and out of the tomb walks...

Zombie Jesus.

Followed by Zombie Guards.

This is a zombie movie.

HE HAS RISEN.

[pluto-is-crashing-out]

IKEA BUNNY

happy easter to those who celebrate!

[rngeezus]

Can someone please help me find the source for this 😭 it’s my favorite Easter post

[sunny-d-anomaly]

In favor of Halloween all year, I’ve decided to make Halloween out of every holiday, beginning with Easter. :3

[privateffdonut]

I knew Jesus’s necromancy ritual required a willing soul to part with its body, but dang, on Easter’s?

[spookystonerchica]

[jimslapass]

Happy Easter everyone smoke a bowl it's 420