#zombie problems

[undead-deathrocker]

One of the worst things about being a vegetarian zombie is I can't cronch bones, really craving them rn but I could probably make something bone shaped and crunchy.

[pinehutch]

Autumn Asks, Pt. 1

Because it's October:

fog - how well do you think you'd do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

I'd be not-bad in the post-apocalyptic period, or at managing people or safehouses. I grew up in a rural, forested area, and I have a little bit of woodcraft and homesteading skills. I'm good at strategic and tactical thinking, so I'd be useful at understanding what we needed, when we needed it, and how to get it (come to me for your detailed to-loot lists). I'm good at communicating and consensus building, but am not a pushover. My more tangible skills are mostly domestic, and I swim well, can paddle a canoe, and am reasonably well-versed in first aid and know enough about food preservation and cooking to make someone's day a bit better, their bellies and hearts a bit warmer. I know a lot of songs, very many stories, can sing fairly well, and can usually tell a joke. I'm strong in a practical, lifting bushels and bins kind of way, and I can totally project an air of authority and/or witchcraft if I need to. Decently familiar with the geography and highways of much of Ontario. Can drive, but not stick.

However! I'm slow, physically, and I'm a weird kind of frail where if I don't take my super-science drugs for a couple of weeks my immune system gets "all fucky" (medical term) and starts right back on ruining my joints. I have chronic pain, my hands are clumsy. In D&D terms, my dump stats are both DEX and CON. I have no martial abilities, full stop. And all the 'turns out the humans were the real monsters' business would emotionally ruin me.

So! Get me to a place where I can run your safehouse and I have got that locked down. Let me plan the way out and I am here for it. But to get past the zombies, I'm going to need help. Maybe a lot of it, I'm sorry.

(Also, both @stonelions and @mia-ugly asked this. Which, like – what is going on out west, my darlings?)

[scionofloki]

So far, to me, it sounds like all of our problems could be solved with condoms and rock salt."

Major Lilywhite, IZombie

[izombieyou]

When you can't do anything because you're waiting for izombie to come back.

[opossumemoji]

i hate it when flies land on me like bitch i know my flesh is rotting but i aint dead yet let me decompose a bit first

[creaturecomplaints-blog]

Zombie problems #47

I can't even go to the market without needing a hand 

[weedyisdashit-blog]

I died like 3 times in the last 20 minutes. #zombieproblems

wtfchulookingatfool

[catelynstark]

There are days that I think “Why is Lowell Tracey not on my life anymore?”

I fucking hate you CW.