Summary: losing the prison had been a punch in the tit. No, wait. Losing the farm was a punch in the tit. Losing the prison was a roundhouse kick to both boobs and the crotch, for good measure. You’d gotten comfortable there; privacy was no longer a myth there, and you fought tooth and nail for it — only to end up back on the road again, starving, filthy, exhausted, and sleeping shoulder-to-shoulder with the whole group like a traumatised family. Without privacy, there’s no way to unwind, and since you and Daryl aren’t great with words, all that frustration starts leaking out sideways. When Rick finally steps in to tell you both to sort your shit out for the group’s sake, “reckless and impulsive” barely covers it. So, you and Daryl sort it, just like God intended.
Warnings: Reader is borderline cringe but some parts are funny (to be cringe is to be free). Crack, usual TWD gore and violence, reader is a badass/dumbass (same thing) reader and Glenn are like a sibling duo lol, lil sprinkle of angst (tension between reader and Daryl in their relationship), umm what else oh yeah SMUT SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT!!! Smut flashback, touch of bondage, loads of egding, reader has a wet dream hehehe, they fuckin' in the dirt like God intended, they be animals, it’s sex guys you can guess the rest of the warnings cuz i already feel blasphemous for writing this ✌️
Era: this isn't really canon, but it's after the prison falls and they were never seperated so Terminus doesn't happen 😚
Author's note: This is like 6 oneshots wrapped up into one fic lol (it's long). Well, it's more like crack and smut rolled up in a ball and disguised as a fic. Idk if this is my best smut cuz I haven't written smut in sooo long, but I'm getting back into the rhythm of things 🫶. It's mostly proofread 🤷♀️ lemme know what y'all think - enjoy 🙈
The house looked promising—quiet, empty, and only slightly less moldier than the last place. It sat back in the trees with its porch listing to one side and its windows filmed over with grime, the whole thing giving off the kind of eerie, abandoned charm that made Rick say, “We clear it quick,” and everyone else say nothing because nobody had the calories left to say anything.
Walking through the front door, you were running on fumes and bad attitude. The whole group was.
Your tongue felt foreign with thirst. Your legs had crossed the line from sore to numb sometime that morning.Your stomach had given up on growling hours ago and now just sat in your middle like a stone. But none of that—not the thirst, not the dirt in your bra, not the raw blister at your heel—was the thing chewing through your nerves. That award goes to Daryl.
Well, it wasn’t Daryl himself. It was that Daryl had not touched you properly in weeks, and apparently your brain had decided to respond to that by turning every harmless interaction into a full-scale hormonal emergency. Every time he leaned too close, every time his hand brushed your back in passing, every time his voice dropped into that low gravelly register right near your ear, your body went holy shit is this finally happening? and then got violently disappointed when the answer was no.
You’d had no privacy since the prison fell. None. No walls. No curtains. No stolen ten minutes. Not even a quick makeout sesh. You hadn’t realised until it was gone just how much of your relationship functioned through touching. Without it, the two of you were like a machine missing one small but extremely important bolt—still technically working, but rattling so hard it was a miracle nobody had kicked you both into a ditch yet.
“Take the back room first,” Daryl muttered, peering down the hall with his crossbow half raised.
You cut him a look. “That was literally where I was headed.”
He grunted. “Just sayin’.”
“You’re always just sayin’.”
“Yeah, well. Somebody’s gotta.”
Tara, slipping past with Glenn in tow, murmured, “Oooh, they’ve started early today.”
“Closet,” Daryl said, pointing with his chin.
“Yes, wow, thank you, I had completely forgotten closets could contain things.”
He glanced at you, tired eyes narrowing just enough to say you are being ridiculous. “Really? Actin’ like a kid.”
You smiled sweetly. “I’m gonna bite you.”
From the front room, Rick sighed. “Can y’all maybe do that after we know there ain’t dead people in here.”
“That ain’t what she meant,” Daryl muttered automatically.
You whipped your head toward him. “How do you know what I meant?”
That actually got a laugh out of Glenn, who immediately looked guilty for doing so. Daryl’s ears went a little pink. “I just—”
“You just what?”
He stared at you for one beat too long, and there it was again: that awful little pause where both your brains remembered your bodies existed.
You remembered the exact shape of him over you, his hand spread on your stomach, the heat of his mouth at your throat, and for half a second, the dim hallway and the walkers and the road all dropped away under the sheer idiocy of how much you missed climbing him like a tree.
Then a floorboard creaked, and the depressing sexless reality came back with all the tenderness of a slap. Daryl cleared his throat and looked away first. “Just clear the damn room.”
“Excellent save,” you said.
“Shut up.”
You pushed open the back bedroom door with your boot and swept inside. Empty, unless one counted a collapsed dresser and what looked like the fossilised remains of a cat as something. You moved toward the wardrobe, and Daryl moved with you.
“Are you following me,” you asked, not even bothering to turn.
“No.”
“You are literally stepping where I step.”
“That’s called watchin’ your back.”
“That’s called breathing on my neck.”
“Wouldn’t have to if you’d quit goin’ towards every dangerous lookin’ thing like a moth to a flame.”
You spun around, and because the room was small and the apocalypse hated you, he was right there.
Not touching. That would’ve been easier.
Just there—close enough to feel his heat, close enough that if either of you leaned an inch you’d be having a very different type of exchange, close enough that the stale air in the room had turned thick and weird around the two of you.
You looked at his mouth.
He looked at yours.
From the hall, Michonne said, with devastating calm, “If I open this door and y’all are licking each other, I’m leaving.”
Both of you jumped apart like you’d been caught stealing from church.“We ain’t—” Daryl started.
“You are so embarrassing,” you hissed at him, which would’ve landed better if you weren’t blushing so hard your face felt hot. “Me?” he shot back, offended. “You the one starin’.”
“Was not.”
“Was too.”
“You were in my personal space!”
“You got a personal space now?”
Tara’s head appeared around the doorframe for all of one second. She took one look at the two of you standing six feet apart like scandalised Victorian lovers, and lit up. “Oh, this is bad,” she said, delighted. “This is way worse than I thought.”
“Get out,” you and Daryl said together.
She vanished, snicking. For one long second, the room held.
Then Daryl scrubbed a hand over his face and muttered, “Need this house cleared before I give up n’ sleep outside.”
You let out a laugh before you could stop it, tired and real and dragged out of you against your will.
His mouth twitched.
That was the worst part, honestly. Not the hunger. Not the road. Not even the fact that your body had apparently decided to become a traitor every time he came within grabbing distance.
It was that you were both still perfectly fine—solid, yours, his—and yet somehow so badly deprived of privacy that you’d started acting like a pair of idiots in front of witnesses. And the whole group absolutely knew it.
By the time the cans were scraped clean and tipped upside down by the fire to cool, the house had settled into that uneasy version of night people on the road called rest. Rick had posted the watch. Abraham and Tara had the first shifts, then Michonne. The rest of you had been granted the luxury of horizontal misery on the warped wood floor of somebody else’s living room, every blanket and old cushion dragged into a lumpy little nest around the cold fireplace.
No one talked much once the food was gone. A few murmured goodnights drifted through the room, then the soft rustle of people turning over, finding hips and shoulders and corners of flooring they could tolerate. The whole place smelled like damp coats and candle soot. Somewhere outside, a night bird made a sound like a hinge.
Daryl dropped beside you with a grunt, back against the wall for a second before he slid down to the floorboards. You followed, settling into the blanket with the boneless heaviness of someone who had been upright for too many hours. For a while, neither of you did anything except breathe and pretend that was enough.
Then his hand found the edge of your blanket and tugged once.
It was such a small thing that nobody watching would’ve thought anything of it, just the absentminded shift of someone making room. But you knew him. You knew that little, silent come here better than your own name. You moved without looking at him, easing into the space he’d made, laying your head carefully against his chest and shoulder while he bent his arm around you like it had been waiting there all day to be useful.
The sound he made was barely there, more breath than noise, but you felt it in your hair. “Ya still grumpy at me?” he murmured.
“That makes me sound like a toddler. I wasn’t grumpy per se,” you whispered back, listening to his heartbeat under your ear. “…maybe a little vexed..”
He snorted softly. “We’ll go with that then.”
The room around you was full of sleeping people, boots lined up by the door, weapons within easy reach, everyone arranged in that strange, intimate geometry of survival, but in the little pocket beneath his arm, it almost felt private. Not fully of course. Still, enough to loosen something.
For a while, you just talked.
Not about anything useful, which was probably why it felt so nice. The house creaked around you, the others settling into uneasy sleep across the floorboards, and the two of you stayed tucked in your little corner with his shoulder under your cheek and his arm loose around your waist, pretending the warmth of him wasn’t the only soft thing you’d had all day.
You talked about the creek you’d passed that afternoon and whether it had been worth the detour. You argued, in whispers, over whether his poncho was a horse blanket he cut a hole in or something badass to wear to keep the heat in, and weaponised the fact that you constantly stole it. You told him that if civilisation ever crawled back into existence, you were never sleeping on another floor again unless there was a paralysing amount of wine involved.
Daryl gave a low snort, barely more than breath against your hair, the sound warm where it rumbled under your cheek. “You gettin’ fancy on me now?”
“I have always been fancy,” you whispered, lifting your head just enough to glare at him through the dark. The room was mostly shadow, the dying fire throwing an orange tremble up the stairwell, but you could still make out the stubborn line of his mouth and the glint of one eye watching you. “I’ve simply been humbled by circumstance.”
“You ate cold pasta with your fingers yesterday.”
“Gracefully.”
“Licked the can.”
“I was conserving resources.”
His mouth twitched, small and traitorous, and you felt absurdly victorious for pulling it out of him. His hand, the one that had been moving in slow, absent circles against your arm like he didn’t even know he was doing it, slid higher to tuck a loose piece of hair behind your ear. The touch was so ordinary it hurt worse than something dramatic would have. There was no urgency in it, no survival reason, no wound to check, no danger to steady you through. Just him touching you because he wanted to, because your hair was in your face and his fingers knew where to go.
For a few breaths, the two of you lay there listening to the house complain around you: the old boards sighing under sleeping bodies, Glenn shifting somewhere near the fireplace, someone coughing once and going quiet again. Daryl’s thumb lingered near your temple, then drifted down the side of your face as if he’d forgotten he was allowed to stop.
“’Member back at the quarry,” he murmured after a while, voice lower now, roughened by exhaustion and the kind of memory that snuck up soft, “when you tried to make coffee in that little dented pot Dale had?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the gentleness in it. “Tried? I made coffee.”
“Ya made dirt water.”
“You drank two cups.”
His eyes flicked away, but not fast enough to hide the soft little crease at the corner of them. “Didn’t wanna hurt your feelings,” he said, almost tentatively, like the admission embarrassed him more than any confession had a right to. Then, quieter, “Probably coulda served me up grass and I woulda ate it.”
You pushed up onto one elbow, chin hovering near his chest, delight spreading through you despite the chill and the hard floor and the hunger that never really left. “Dixon,” you whispered, scandalised, “were you being nice to me?”
His gaze cut hard toward the ceiling. That was answer enough.
“Oh, my God.” Your grin widened until your cheeks hurt - you were so gonna tease him. “You had a crush on me,” you singsonged.
“Shut up.”
“You did.” You poked him in the side through his shirt, delighted when he jerked under you and caught your wrist, not to stop you so much as to pretend he had control over the situation. “You drank my terrible coffee because you were sweet on me.”
“Wasn’t terrible.”
“You just said dirt water.”
He stared at the dark like it might save him. “Flavoured dirt water.”
You had to bite down on your smile so you wouldn’t laugh loud enough to wake half the room. He was still looking away, jaw working, but there was a quiet warmth in his face now, something almost boyish under the grime and the hollows tiredness had carved beneath his eyes. For a second, you could see him back then so clearly it felt like the room around you changed shape: younger, sharper, all shoulders and suspicion, standing at the edge of the quarry camp like he’d been invited to a party by mistake and planned to leave before anyone noticed.
“I remember that,” you whispered, softer now. “You wouldn’t sit with me.”
He frowned faintly. “Sat near ya.”
“You sat on a log ten feet away,” you said, laughing under your breath. “For a while I thought I stank or something.”
His ears, even in the dark, seemed to go a shade warmer. “Didn’t know what to do with ya.”
The joke softened in your mouth before it could become another tease. You settled back against him, cheek to his chest, listening to the steady thump beneath his ribs. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged, but it didn’t work with you lying half on top of him. His shoulder shifted under you, awkward and too honest, and his hand found the edge of your sleeve again like he needed something to do. “I mean…” He cleared his throat, eyes still on the ceiling. “Was terrified of ya.”
You lifted your head. “Of me?”
“Talkin’ to ya,” he muttered. “Felt like I was gonna throw up. Was hopeless.”
A laugh slipped out of you, small and helpless, because the idea of Daryl Dixon—knife on his belt, crossbow on his shoulder, temper always two inches from the surface—feeling physically ill because you smiled at him was too sweet and too ridiculous to survive silently. “No way.”
“Was awful,” he insisted, and the way he said it made your heart fold in on itself. His thumb moved over your sleeve, slow again, grounding himself in the fabric. “You’d come over with that damn coffee, lookin’ like… I dunno. Like I made you up in my head.”
Your smile faded into something softer.
He swallowed, still not quite looking at you. “You’d be talkin’ like ya knew me already. Actin’ like ya gave a damn. Ask me stuff. Didn’t look at me like everybody else did.” His mouth pulled to one side, almost amused now, though there was a tender ache under it. “And you were still the meanest person I ever met. Didn’t take shit from nobody. Couldn’t figure out why the hell you’d give me the time’a day.”
Your chest tightened until it was hard to breathe around it.
The quarry rose up in your mind, bright and dusty and impossible: sun burning over tent canvas, smoke from the fire catching in your throat, Dale’s RV gleaming like an old white beetle in the distance, Andrea laughing at something, Shane shouting as always, little Carl running somewhere he probably wasn’t meant to be so he wouldnt have to get his hair cut my his mom. People alive who were no longer alive. Problems that had felt huge then and almost gentle now. You remembered Daryl, too—quieter in a different way, all sharp edges and defensive eyes, watching everyone from a distance like he expected kindness to bear its teeth if he stood too close.
“I liked you too,” you admitted, soft enough that it felt like a secret all over again. “Even then.”
His arm tightened around you.
“Yeah?”
“Are you kidding?” You let out a quiet laugh and tipped your chin up so you could see him properly. “The way you threw squirrels at people like you were saying hi, mouthing off every chance you got, shoulders all tense and flexed, southern accent, shiny muscles, and you rode a bike?” You shook your head gravely. “I had no chance.”
His breath hitched with a silent laugh, and this time he couldn’t hide the blush. Not completely. His face turned away into the dark, but you caught enough of it to make your whole night.
“Makin’ me sound like some rabid animal,” he muttered.
“No,” you said, pressing a quick kiss to the edge of his jaw because you couldn’t help yourself, his skin hot, rough with stubble, familiar enough to ache. “You just got better at letting me pet you.”
He huffed like he was offended, but his hand came up to the back of your head and held you there for half a second longer than necessary. “Go to sleep.”
“Lemme ask you this.” You poked his chest once because he should have known better than to think you could be redirected that easily. “Who do you think fell first?”
“Me.” He answered so quickly that you stilled.
“Really?” you whispered, craning your neck to look at him. “I thought it would be me for sure. I mean, by the time we reached the farm, I was pretty hooked.”
He stayed quiet, eyes fixed somewhere above you. The silence changed. Not heavy exactly. Just full of something older than the two of you were now, something that had been sitting quietly beneath years of blood and loss and road dust, waiting for a night still enough to be named.
You nudged him gently. “Was it before the farm?”
Still quiet. Your smile faded at the edges, not disappearing, just softening into wonder. “Daryl.”
His throat bobbed.
“C’mon,” you whispered. “Tell me.”
For a long second, the whole house seemed to hold its breath with him. Then, so quiet you almost felt it more than heard it, he said, “Pretty much… first time I saw ya.”
Oh. It landed in you like something delicate being placed carefully in your hands, impossibly soft.
You didn’t know what to do with it at first, and for once, your mouth had no smart thing ready, no joke sharp enough to cover the tremble in your chest. You only looked at him in the dark, at the man who had spent half your lives together pretending not to need anything, and realised he had been carrying that first moment all this time like a match cupped from the wind.
“The first time?” you breathed. He shrugged again, smaller now.
“What was I doing?”
“Yellin’ at Shane.” That startled a laugh out of you, quiet and bright.
His mouth curved faintly, relieved by the sound. “He was runnin’ his mouth about somethin’. You told him if he wanted to act like everybody’s daddy, he could start by washin’ the dishes after supper.”
You pressed your forehead to his shoulder, muffling your laugh into his shirt. “That sounds about.”
“Yeah,” he murmured, and his hand smoothed once over your hair, slow and fond. “Never came across anyone like you.”
“That a good thing or a bad thing?.”
“Thought you were badass,” he corrected, quieter. “Mean, smart. Smokin’ hot.”
You lifted your head again, eyes stinging in a way you refused to acknowledge. “Oh yeah?”
“Don’t make me say it again.”
“Oh, I absolutely will at some point.”
“Course you will.”
You smiled at him, but it wobbled at the edges. “All that time?”
He didn’t answer with words. He didn’t need to. His hand slid from your hair to the side of your face, thumb brushing once beneath your eye with a care that felt almost reverent in the dark.
The silence that followed wasn’t empty. It was full of everything you’d lost between the quarry and here—the farm, the prison, all those people and places and versions of yourselves that existed now only in memory. But it was also full of what had survived. His arm around you. Your cheek against his chest. The ridiculous fact that after everything, after all that distance and fear and hunger and grief, you could still lie here and tease him about dirt-water coffee until he admitted he’d loved you before he knew how.
You smiled into the dark, then lifted yourself just enough to press your mouth to the corner of his. It was quick, almost routine now, the kind of kiss that didn’t ask for anything but still said plenty. Goodnight. I’m here. Don’t go too far, even if you’re only turning over.
“Night,” you whispered.
“Night.”
You turned carefully in the cramped space, settling with your back against him, his arm finding your waist by habit before either of you had to think about it. Behind you, he went still in that wakeful way of his, not quite ready to surrender to sleep.
For a while, Daryl only listened to the house. The floorboards settling. Glenn’s breathing from somewhere near the fireplace. Rick shifting in his sleep. The woods pressing close outside.
And you, warm under his hand.
That was the part that made his chest feel strange. Not sad, exactly. Not the kind of hurt that had teeth. Just a dull, blue ache at the thought of all the roads between that quarry and this floor, all the people missing from the spaces around you, all the walls you’d had and lost, all the times he’d thought he had nothing worth keeping until you proved him wrong by staying.
Back then, he hadn’t known what to do with wanting you.
Now he knew exactly what to do with it, and still couldn’t, not here, not with the whole group asleep around you and the road waiting to swallow everyone again at morning.
His fingers curled lightly in the fabric at your stomach. You sighed in your sleep, or close enough to it, and shifted back into him by instinct. Lowering his face to your hair, he breathed you in once, and closed his eyes with that old quarry memory still flickering behind them: you holding out a tin cup of terrible coffee, smiling like you already knew he was worth the trouble, even if he didn’t think the same.
He shifted a little then, rolling just enough onto his side to face the room, and his back turned toward you beneath the blanket. The movement left you tucked up behind him, your arm draped over his waist. It was an unspoken rule for him to put himself between you and wherever the door was when bunking down. At first you thought it was just a coincidence he did that, but then you realised, he was putting himself in harm's way in case the unthinkable came through the door. That meant you were in your own little pod in the corner with a Daryl-shaped barrier boxing you in like a hug. Without thinking, you lifted your hand and traced a line down the centre of his back through the thin fabric of his shirt
Your fingertip drifted again, lower this time, drawing nonsense shapes between his shoulders, little idle lines that didn’t mean anything and meant everything. His skin moved under the shirt with each breath. You could feel the hard pull of muscle and the familiar shape of him beneath your hand, and it made longing rise in you so fast and sharp it was almost funny.
He was right there.
That was the worst part.
Right there under your fingers, under your breath if you leaned one inch closer. You could smell him. Feel his warmth. Hear the scrape of his swallow when your nail caught lightly at his spine.
And you missed him.
Missed him like he was gone.
It was absurd. Cruel, even. To have him this close and still feel the distance. To know exactly how he sounded when he laughed against your neck, how heavy his body got after, how his hand spread over your hip in sleep like it belonged there, and have none of that now except these careful scraps. It was like being starving and made to sit with your face over the pot.
Your hand kept moving of its own accord, tracing him slowly, and you let your mind slip back to the prison the way a hand slips under a pillow, searching for the cool side. You thought of the cellblock at dusk, all honeyed light through bars and the familiar clatter of people settling in for the night. You thought of your old curtain, half-drawn and crooked because Daryl always tugged it too hard, the whole place smelling faintly of sun-baked concrete, tobacco and sex. You thought of the cot that had complained under both of you, the scratchy blanket you used to pretend to hate, the little stolen privacy of walls and routine and knowing where you’d wake up.
You thought of Daryl there, stretched out in your cell with one boot still on because he’d sworn he wasn’t staying and then stayed anyway. His hair mussed from your fingers.
Your shirt was somewhere on the floor, and his head was pillowed heavily on your stomach while you drew idle circles over his shoulder, kind of like how you were doing now.He’d be stretched out on his front, one arm thrown across your thighs, the other dangling off the side of the bed, half-dozing after sex with his face turned into your skin like he’d intended to stay there forever. The prison had been loud in the distance—someone shouting in the yard, metal clanging, a laugh from down the cellblock—but your little haven had held - all yours.
You could see it all, so clearly, it hurt.
“Move,” you’d murmured, half-laughing, because he was crushing your legs. His answer had been a grumble into your stomach and a tighter squeeze with the arm over your thighs. “Nah.”
“You’re heavy.”
When he’d said tough shit, you’d just smiled and gone back to drawing useless little lines over his back, tracing the ridge of his spine, the slope of his shoulders, the ribbons of scars dorned across his back. He’d shivered once under your fingers and turned his head just enough to press a lazy kiss to your hip.
“Should get up,” you’d said eventually, though you’d made no move to actually do it.
“Nuh-huh.”
“We’ve been in here forever.”
“Good.”
There had been no urgency in him. No panic. No rationing of touch. Just that lazy, unreasonable confidence that the hour belonged to you because there would be another after it, and another after that, and the world outside the curtain could wait. You had taken it for granted in the way people only realise too late that they were rich.
You remembered looking down at him then—hair a mess, eyes half-shut, skin warm and loose with sleep and satisfaction—and thinking, with a kind of stupid fondness, we’ll always have this.
You blinked in the dark of the abandoned house and found the prison gone, the bars replaced by wallpaper curling off rotten walls, the mattress by splintered floorboards, that easy golden stillness by the raw thin edge of the road. Daryl was still in your arms, but only barely, and all at once you wanted that old afternoon back so violently it made your chest ache. You wanted it back so bad; the sadness of it rose so suddenly your eyes burned. You don’t realise those are the good old days until they’re gone.’ Fuck whoever said that.
The memory hit so hard now it was almost physical, and the ache of it should have kept you awake.
Instead, it softened you.
Your body loosened by degrees, melting back into his warmth, the present blurring at the edges until the hard floor became a mattress, the draft became summer heat, the dark house became concrete walls holding the day outside. Daryl shifted his sleep and made an unconscious jerk that used to startle you awake but was now so natural to you it was a comfort, and in your half-dreaming mind it was the prison again—his hand on your hip, his mouth near your skin, the curtain keeping the world out.
You followed the memory down.
Down into heat, and quiet, and the old impossible luxury of time...
-------------
The heat in the cell sits on your skin like a second blanket.
Summer in the prison always settles heavy, thick and damp and a little stale, like the concrete itself has started to sweat. The little fan somebody rigged up three doors down is useless here. The curtain is half-drawn, but it does nothing except trap the warmth inside with you. Your back is slick against the mattress. His hair is damp. The sheet twisted around one ankle is soaked through where it’s bunched at the foot of the bed.
And Daryl is between your legs like he’s got nowhere else on earth to be.
Your wrists are cuffed to the iron bars of the headboard, the metal warm from the room and rubbing just enough to keep you aware of it every time you pull. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make you feel how trapped you are; how much you are at his mercy.
He’s been there forever. That’s what it feels like. Nearing on an hour, maybe more, spread open beneath him in your tiny prison cell while the world beyond the curtain keeps moving on without you, while his mouth and hands and the slow drag of his body keep proving that time is not a real thing in here.
You’re sweating. He’s sweating. It’s almost ridiculous how gross the two of you are in the trapped summer heat, his shoulders shining, your hair damp at the nape, his chain sticking to the hollow of his throat when he lifts his head to look at you. There’s no elegance left in it. No room for elegance. Just heat and skin and the rust-smell of the handcuffs and the little breathless sounds he keeps dragging out of you like he’s collecting them.
“Daryl,” you whisper, which would sound like a plea even if you didn’t mean it that way.
He looks up from where he’s pressing kisses to the inside of your thigh, eyes darker than the dim cell deserves, one hand still spread hard over your hip to keep you from twisting away from the overload. He’s got that look on his face—the one that means he knows exactly what he’s doing and intends to keep doing it.
“What,” he askssays, low and rough, though you both know he heard the tremble in it.
You tug uselessly at the cuffs. The bed rattles, old iron whining in protest. “You know what.”
His mouth twitches.
That smug little almost-smile should not be legal on him.
“I don’t know nothin’,” he lies, and then he kisses your inner thigh again, slower this time, closer, his stubble scraping the sensitive skin there in a way that makes your stomach jump. “Think you oughta explainn it.”
You let out a helpless little sound that only encourages him. He’s cocky today. Worse than usual. Maybe it’s the cuffs. Maybe it’s because you’re completely on display for him. Maybe it’s because you are completely on display for him and at his diposal. Maybe it’s because there’s finally time, because you don’t have to rush, because for once nobody is pounding on the curtain and nobody is calling either of your nameshis name from the yard and nobody needs either of you for the next hour except the two of you. Whatever it is, he’s leaning into it with quiet, infuriating confidence.
You’re squirming so much that the whole bed keeps squeaking; squeaking; shifting in little jerks across the floor.
His forearm snakes around your stomach,forearm snakes around your stomach pinning you more firmly, rough palm hot and damp. “Hold still.”
“You are a cruel cruel man,’ you gasped.
That earns you a short, wrecked laugh against your skin. “This was your idea.”
“The torturing part was not my idea,” you mutter, then gasp because his fingers drag through the wet mess between your legs like he’s never felt anything he liked better. “The hand cuffs are on me, sure. And I wish i never found them.”
In your defence, you wanted to handcuff him to the bedpost - but he won rock, paper, scissors, you wanted to handcuff him to the bedpost - but he won rock paper scissors so he got his way.
“Guess you shoulda went with paper,” he mumbled against you, sending vibrations through” he muffled against you - causing vibrations against your core. You choke on a laugh that turns into a moan before it’s halfway out. He takes advantage immediately, shifting up over you in one smooth movement until his chest is over yours, one knee forcing your legs wider, his mouth at your throat, then your jaw, then your mouth. Sure, yYou can’t pull him down because your hands are trapped above your head, but you don’t need to. He’s all over you already, the full weight of his attention almost worse than his body.
Your knees are useless. Your wrists are warm and slick inside the cuffs. Every inch of you feels overworked, wrung out, and somehow still starving.
He kisses you the way he does when he knows you’re close again—deep and heavy and a little mean, like he’s trying to swallow the panic before it turns into begging.
It doesn’t work.
“More,” you breathe against his mouth anyway, already embarrassed by how desperate you sound and too far gone to care. “Please—”
His hand slides between you, lining himself up, the blunt heat of him dragging through your slick with a maddening patience that makes you arch hard enough to rattle the headboard. There smile is in his voice when he says, “Ya really want it huh?”
“Yes,” you say immediately, because there is no dignity left in this cell, and both of you buried it a long time ago. “Daryl—”
“Shh.” He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then the shell of your ear, his voice dropping rough and low where it goes straight through you. “Gotcha.”
And then he pushes in.
Slow - so slow you could scream.
You feel every inch of him, every unbearable second of it, your body trying to climb away from the sensation and chase it deeper at the same time. You’re so oversensitive it borders on agony, his pace deliberate enough to make the whole thing feel impossible. Your eyes squeeze shut. Your breath catches. You hear yourself making broken little sounds into his shoulder, and his hand leaves your thigh just long enough to grip your jaw and turn your face back to him.
“Look at me.”
You try. Fail. Try again.
His forehead presses to yours as he sinks deeper, deeper, until your whole body goes tight and startled around him. You genuinely don’t know where all of him is supposed to fit. He’s talking now, half under his breath, half into your mouth, and the words are pure Daryl—gravelly, blunt, unfairly filthy in how matter-of-fact he makes them. “That’s it,” he says. “Take it. C’mon. Easy. Yeou’re alright.”
You are not alright. You are dying. You are transcending. You are very possibly seeing God. “Oh my god—”
“I know.”
“No, it’s, I—” Your voice breaks clean in half when he finally bottoms out, hips flush to yours, and stays there for one devastating second like he wants you to understand exactly what he’s doing to you. “Daryl.”
His mouth brushes yours, softer now. “Yeah? That good huh?”
Does he even have to ask? You’re shaking. Fully shaking. Your legs are spread useless and numb beneath him, your wrists straining in the cuffs every time your body jerks on instinct. He reaches up,, hips not faltering for one second, fingers wrapping around the chain between the cuffs, and tugs—not hard, just enough to remind you that there’s nowhere to goo. The sound that falls out of you at that is humiliating.
His eyes darken further.
“You really — fffuck - like seeing m-me tied up huh?” You manage to get out on the third try.
“Not the worst sight,” he murmurs, glancing up at your hands, then back down at your face so he could see the whole array of precious expressions on your face.
He gives it to you in slow, deep strokes that drag all the way out and then back in with enough force to make the bed frame protest against the wall. Every thrust lands in the same devastating place, e. Every one leavinges you more gone than the last. He’s manhandling you without rushing it, one hand on your hip, the other around your back, using his weight and the angle and the cuffs and your own helpless body against you until your brain is nothing but white heat and his name.
“So much,” you hear yourself say, though your hips lift to meet him anyway, chasing more. “S’too much, I can’t—”
“Yeah, you can.”
There’s that quiet cockiness again, that infuriating certainty in his voice like he knows your body better than your mind does. Right now he probably does.
Your orgasm is coming way too fast. You can feel it, huge and bright and terrifying, climbing through you in violent little pulses. It doesn’t even feel good anymore, not in a simple way. It feels like standing too close to the edge of something enormous.
“Baby I’m not gonna last,” you squeaak, and this time there’s real panic in it.
He hears the difference immediately. His mouth finds yours, steadier now, his hand sliding down between your bodies to hold you through the rising shock of it. “Hey,” he murmurs, rough and low and all Daryl. “Just stay with me. C’mon. Breathe.”
Your wrists pull against the cuffs. Your thighs shake around him. His pace doesn’t break, doesn’t hurry, doesn’t falter. He’s all over you, exactly where you need him, too much and perfect and impossible, and your whole body goes tight under the pressure of it.
“C’mon,” he murmurs, mouth hot at your cheek, his voice roughened into something that feels like a hand inside your chest. “Wake up.”
Huh?
You blink at him, breathless, disoriented. The prison cell swims around the edges. The bars are hazy. The curtain stirs in a heat that suddenly doesn’t feel right. “Daryl—”
“Wake up.”
His hand leaves the chain between the cuffs and rises to your face, thumb brushing your cheek. No, not brushing - patting. Coaxing you awake...
You jerk awake all at once to cold dawn and damp earth and the awful, immediate absence of him.
For one second, you just lie there staring into the washed-out grey of morning, your body still trying to catch up with a world that has changed under it. Then the disappointment hits so hard and stupid it actually makes you angry. You roll over with a wounded groan and shove your face into your rucksack, which has all the comfort and softness of a sack of rocks.
Behind you, Daryl huffs a laugh.
“Rise n shineRise and shine,” he mutters, voice thick with sleep and far too amused for someone who has just ruined your entire life. A hand lands between your shoulder blades, then slides up into your hair, fingers working slow through the mess of it in that absent way he gets when he’s trying to wake you without admitting he’s being gentle. “Was startin’ to think ya died.”
You make a muffled, miserable noise into the rucksack that roughly translates to Iaei wishI wish..
“Mm.” His hand keeps moving, untangling a knot, scratching lightly at your scalp. “That bad, huh.”
You push yourself up on your elbows with all the enthusiasm of the freshly exhumed. The group is just beginning to stir around you—blankets rolling, someone coughing, low voices by the dead fire where breakfast is apparently the next tragedy on the schedule. Daryl is crouched beside your bedroll, forearms on his knees, watching you with that half-annoying, half-soft expression he always gets first thing in the morning.
“C’mon,” he says. “Needta find somethin’ to eat.”
You sit up fully—and freeze.
There’s a warm, slick heaviness between your thighs, enough to make your whole body go hot again for a completely different reason.
You suck in a breath.
Daryl’s eyebrows pull together instantly. “What.”
For one sharp, horrifying second you think, oh my god, my period, because of course that would be the final humiliation after waking up from the hottest dream of your miserable little road-life. You glance down, hand already moving under the blanket—
—and then stop.
Oh, no.
It takes exactly one second for your traitorous body to explain itself.
False alarm, no blood; just the aftermath of your own brain deciding to stage an unauthorised prison reunion with your boyfriend while you slept three feet away from the group like a complete degenerate.
Your face goes so hot it feels like you need a doctor to check you're not dying. Daryl leans in a little, suspicion deepening. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” you say way too fast; his expression says he believes exactly none of that.
You try to stand with dignity, which is impossible when your knees still feel vaguely dream-boneless and your entire lower half has decided now is a great time to remember every second of that fake prison bed. You end up half-crouching instead, clutching the blanket around your lap like a Victorian woman posing for a photo.
Daryl squints at you. “You good?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“You’re bein’ weird.”
“I’m always weird.”
“Not like this.”
You glare at him with all the fury of a woman whose subconscious should be hosed down.
“Morning,” Rick says, already halfway by, then slows just enough to take in your expression, your death-grip on the blanket, Daryl crouched there with his hand still in your hair like he forgot to remove it, and the general atmosphere of something is wrong here and I would prefer not to know what. His face does a very subtle, very tired thing. “Y’all good?”
“Uh-huh,” you say, voice embarrassingly high.
Rick’s eyes flick to Daryl.
Daryl meets them with the flattest do not poke the bear look a man can physically produce before coffee.
Rick, to his credit, reads it immediately. “Right,” he says, the word stretching thin with self-preservation. “Well. Don’t take too long.”
He keeps walking, visibly deciding he does not get paid enough for whatever this is.
Daryl waits until Rick’s out of earshot before looking back at you, the amusement still there but softened now with actual concern. His hand slides from your hair to the back of your neck, thumb rubbing once at the base of your skull.
“You gonna tell me what’s goin’ on,” he says quietly, “or am I just s’posed to accept that ya woke up possessed.”
You close your eyes. There are no good answers. There are only bad ones and catastrophic ones. “Please stop being nice to me,” you mutter. “It is not helping.”
That pulls a real chuckle out of him, low and warm and sleepy enough to make your stomach dip. He studies you for a second, the puzzle pieces clearly clicking into place one by one. Not all of them, but enough to know this is not an injury, not an illness, not anything he can fix with a canteen and a pat on the shoulder. His head tilts - and then, very slowly, his eyebrow rises. Oh, absolutely not.
“No,” you say immediately.
He smiles wider, all smug corners and dangerous understanding. “Didn’t say nothin’.”
“You were about to.”
“Ain’t gotta.”
You hide your face in your hands like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. His palm smooths down your hair once more, kinder now that he’s enjoying your suffering. “C’mon,” he murmurs. “Get up. You can be mad at me while we look for breakfast.”
You look up at him through your fingers, mortified beyond words. “I am not mad at you.”
“Nah,” he says, standing and offering you a hand. “Whatever this is its way wayworse.”
He hauls you gently to your feet, steadies you when your blanket tangles around your legs, and for one tiny, awful second your eyes meet and you know—just know—that if he presses even a little, if he asks the right question in that low morning voice, you are going to have to fling yourself into a lake.
Instead, he only squeezes your fingers once before letting go.
“Go wash your face,” he says, maddeningly calm. “Cool down before it gets any redder.”
You stare at him, mouth agape.
He tilts his head. “What.”
And because apparently humiliation has finally curdled into meanness, you mumble, “Nothing. Just thinking maybe I liked dream-you better.”
His grin goes crooked. “Well,” he says, stepping back, “dream-me ain’t gettin’ ya breakfast.”
Then he turns and walks off toward the fire, far too pleased with himself, leaving you standing there in the miserable dawn with damp thighs, a wrecked conscience, and the certain knowledge that this day is going to be absolutely intolerable.
--------
The warehouse sat at the edge of town like a stranded ship, square and windowless except for the high slats near the roofline, its broad metal sides painted with half-peeled community signs that had somehow survived the years better than the people who’d once followed them.
FOOD BANK SATURDAY
FREE WINTER COAT DRIVE
SPRING MARKET — LOCAL VENDORS WELCOME
The banners flapped in shreds against the chain-link fence as the four of you picked your way through waist-high weeds and old flyers melted into the mud.
Glenn squinted up at the building. “Well,” he said, trying for optimistic and landing somewhere around doomed, “it still looks… upright.”
“Mm,” Rick muttered. “That’s one word for it.”
The front entrances had been chained from the outside—heavy loops of rusted iron snared through the handles, reinforced with bent lengths of rebar someone had shoved through the links as a final, panicked stay in there. Daryl crouched, fingers brushing one of the chains, eyes narrowing at the old scrape marks on the metal doors.
“They weren’t keepin’ people out,” he said.
No one answered that, because there wasn’t much to say.
You tipped your head back and looked up at the roof. The warehouse was only one story, but it had been built high and ugly, one of those broad utility buildings with exposed support beams on the outside and enough ledges and seams to turn climbing it into a bad idea rather than an impossible one.
So, naturally, that was what you did.
By the time you hauled yourself onto the roof, your palms were black with grit and the backs of your thighs were already damp with sweat. The metal panels groaned under your weight in a way that made every muscle in your body tighten. “Jesus,” you hissed, flattening instinctively when one of the roof sheets gave a sudden little slide beneath your boot.
“Careful,” Rick said immediately from a few feet behind you, too late to be useful and exactly on time to be annoying.
“I am being careful.”
Daryl came up last and threw you a look that suggested he begged to differ. He dropped to a crouch beside a jagged break in the roofing and peered down through it.
The reaction was instant. He went still. Not tense. Not startled. Just utterly motionless in that way he had when his whole body locked.
You moved before you thought about it, dropping beside him and bracing one hand on the hot metal lip to look through the opening.
The warehouse floor below was carpeted in bodies. At first glance, Glenn made the same mistake anyone would. “Oh,” he said, relief rising too fast. “No, wait, those are just corpses—”
“No,” Daryl cut in quietly.
It wasnt just the number of them, though there were plenty—dozens scattered in collapsed rows between shelving units and overturned pallet stacks, slumped against support poles, tangled near the chained doors. It was the details. The way some of the skulls were caved in, yes, but plenty weren’t. The way some bodies looked shriveled almost to leather, clothes hanging off them in strips, while others still wore the dull slackness of a more ordinary death. One sat upright against a pillar with an empty bottle clenched in its hand and a dark stain dried down the front of its shirt. Two more were collapsed together near the back wall in a knot of limbs and torn fabric that suggested things had gotten ugly long before they got quiet. “Oh,” Glenn said again, much more softly this time.
Rick crouched beside the opening and stared down into the dim, stale dark of the warehouse. “Looks like this place fell at the start.”
“Military,” you murmured, eyes catching the old emergency signage, the barricaded exits, the awful logic of it. “Must’ve shoved people in here and locked it down.”
Daryl’s mouth flattened. “Then left ’em.”
The shelves themselves rose in long warehouse rows, most of them still standing. That was the part that made the whole thing almost unbearable. All that food still sitting there—boxes of jars, canned goods, dry goods in split sacks, packets, bottled water in shrink-wrapped towers near the middle—untouched except where some displays had toppled. It was obscene, really. All that supply left to rot while the people below it rotted first.
You scanned the floor again and felt the old cold dread of the prison halls crawl up your back.“Remember those walkers in the yard at the prison,” Rick said quietly. “Half of ’em were like mummies till they heard us. Then suddenly they were the hungriest things in the world.”
Glenn swallowed. “So we assume they’re all live.”
“We assume the ones that ain’t obviously dead enough can still get up,” Daryl said.
Below, somewhere in the belly of the building, something shifted. It was small. Maybe just settling metal. Maybe not.
You eased back from the opening, sat on your heels, and wiped your dusty palms on your jeans. “Okay,” you said. “So. We need the food. We do not need to become the food. Ideas.”
“Open the doors,” Glenn said first, because of course he did. “Make noise, flush them out, then circle back in and grab what we can.”
You stared at him. “That is a terrible idea.”
His head came up. “It’s not terrible.”
“It is if ‘flushed out’ turns into ‘wandering herd directly back to the group.”
“It wouldn’t come back to the group if we led it away.”
“Oh, amazing, great, so all we need is one neat, cooperative line of walkers who respect traffic signals.”
Glenn frowned. “That’s not what I said.”
Rick rubbed the back of his neck and kept staring down into the hole. “Could try pulling things up. Rope around a few boxes. Fish ’em out from up here.”
You looked at the gap, then at the angle, then at the rows below. “What are you gonna do cowboy, lasso a can of peaches from 20 feet up?”
Rick gave you a deeply unimpressed dad look. “You got a better idea?”
As a matter of fact, you did.
The support beams were eyeing you up like Daryl’s ass in jeans.
The roof had old metal trusses spanning the entire width of the building, thick enough to hold the weight of the panels, running wall to wall over the shelving rows below. Narrow, yes. Rusted in places, yes. Trustworthy, probably not.
You pointed. “We use those.”
Three heads turned to look at you.
You stood a little taller despite the grime and sweat itching down your spine. “They run the whole length. If someone gets down from here, climbs onto the truss, and moves across the beams, they can reach the top shelves without touching the floor. Lower a rope, tie off boxes, haul them up. It’s quieter, it doesn’t open the doors, and it doesn’t send an army of starving corpses wandering after us.”
Glenn looked back through the gap. “That’s… actually not bad.”
Rick nodded slowly. “Would work.”
Duh, of course it would, it’s your plan. Daryl, however, did not nod. His eyes had already moved on to the second part of your idea, because he knew you too well. “No.”
You blinked. “I haven’t even volunteered yet.”
“You was about to.”
“Maybe I was gathering dramatic tension.”
“You ain’t doin’ it. That’s final.”
You put your hands on your hips. “But it was my idea!”
“And it’s a bad one.”
“It was a good one two seconds ago.”
“It was good till you started thinkin’ you were the one goin’ across.”
You laughed once, short and offended. “Who else is gonna do it?”
“I will.”
You looked at him, then very deliberately looked him up and down, from the crossbow to the shoulders to the boots planted on the roof panel that had already shifted under your far lesser weight. “Baby don’t make me say it.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Say what?”
“You are built like a grudging ox.”
Glenn made a strangled sound and looked away. Rick’s mouth twitched dangerously.
Daryl stared at you in flat betrayal. “A what.”
“You heard me. Those beams are old. They’re not gonna love a full-grown angry man stomping around up there.”
“Yer talkin out yer ass.”
“There’s more of you to love, hozney.”
He leaned closer without seeming to move much at all, voice dropping. “You wanna say that one more time.”
Your pulse made an extremely unhelpful leap.
This was the problem. This exact thing. The way every stupid argument kept tipping halfway into something else before either of you could stop it. The way he got close and your brain forgot the topic. The way his attention felt like being gripped around the waist.
So naturally, you doubled down.
“You stomp like Bigfoot,” you said, slower this time, because apparently you wanted to die. “And I’m lighter, better balanced, and less likely to bring the whole roof down.”
“Your balance sucks.”
You gasped. “Fuck you, no, it doesn't!”
“Ya get dizzy when ya turn around too fast.”
“One time I slipped in mud.”
“You slipped in mud, gravel, wet grass, dry grass—”
“That was a streak of bad luck.”
“—and a flat kitchen floor.”
“What’s your point?”
Rick cleared his throat into his fist, shoulders twitching now.
Glenn gave up trying not to laugh. “She’s got a point about the weight thing.”
Daryl turned on him so fast Glenn actually put both hands up. “Don’t encourage her.”
“She always has a point,” you said, already warming to your own brilliance now that there was resistance. “I go across. You three stay up here and work the rope. If I slip, you haul me up. Safety buffer.”
Daryl made a face like the phrase offended him on principle. “Safety buffer.”
“Yes. Very technical.”
“No.”
You threw both hands up. “You always say no to my ideas!”
“Cuz ya act like ya got nine lives.”
“That is not a tactical concern.”
“It is to me.”
That actually got Rick laughing, low and tired and unable to help it.
The roof shifted softly under somebody’s boot and all four of you went still, eyes cutting back to the hole, the rows of bodies below, the heavy silence waiting under the metal. Then Rick exhaled and rubbed a hand down his beard. “It’s the best idea we’ve got.”
Daryl looked at him like he’d been personally stabbed.
“The beams probably won’t hold much extra weight,” Rick went on, practical as ever, which was how he got away with these betrayals. “She’s the lightest. We tie her off. Keep tension on the rope the whole time. Glenn hauls. You anchor. I spot.”
Daryl’s jaw worked hard enough to crack teeth.
You smiled, bright and insufferable. “Glad I got the Rick seal of approval.”
Daryl cut you a look so full of irritated, helpless heat it should’ve melted the roof clean off. “If you fall in there—”
“I won’t.”
“—I am not explainin’ to the group that we lost you because you wanted to play acrobat.”
Your grin widened. “See? You do listen to my ideas.”
He made a low sound in his throat, half threat, half something else, and turned away before it could become either. Glenn leaned over to you while Rick started sorting rope. “You know he’s gonna be unbearable about this.”
You watched Daryl yank the line harder than necessary through his hands, all bristling protectiveness and silent panic in a dirty vest, and felt something hot and stupid unfurl in your chest despite the hunger and the horror and the walkers waiting below. “Oh,” you said, sweet as poison. “I’m counting on it.”
Next thing you know, Daryl is lowering you down like he’s trying to negotiate with gravity.
The rope burns warm and rough through his palms as he feeds it out inch by inch, jaw set so hard it looks painful, eyes never leaving you as your boots search the air for the first beam. The whole roof creaks around you, old metal shifting and sighing under the weight of three men and one questionable plan, and below the hole, the warehouse waits in its awful, patient silence, a sea of dropped shoulders and slack heads and still hands that may or may not stay that way.
“Little left,” Rick mutters from the edge, one hand anchoring the rope, the other braced on the roof panel.
“I know my left,” you whisper back.
“Sure you do,” Daryl said sarcastically.
“Could we keep the chatter down to a minimum, please? I’m trying to focus.”
Your boots finally tap metal.
The beam is narrower than it looked from above, just a rusted strip of steel stretched wall to wall with twelve feet of nightmare yawning underneath it. For one incredibly stupid second, your arms pinwheel out from your sides, balancing wildly, and Daryl’s entire body jerks forward so hard the rope goes taut enough to sing.
You correct yourself with a hop and a wobble, then grin up through the hole. “Wow,” you whisper, breathless and obnoxious. “Thought I had it there.”
Rick drags a hand down his face, and Daryl looks like he may genuinely pass out. “That ain’t funny,” he hisses, voice low enough not to carry and intense enough to strip paint.
You beam up at him, all teeth. “Little funny.”
“No it wasn’t.”
“It was a kinda,” Glenn says, hanging over the edge with both elbows planted on the roof, “it was the exact amount of funny that becomes deeply unfunny if you do it again.”
“Copy that,” you say, already inching forward because if you let yourself think too hard about the drop, or the bodies, or the fact that one wrong move could turn you into a screaming can opener for the dead, you were going to freeze and embarrass yourself in front of everyone.
So you pretend.
You pretend you are not twenty feet above a warehouse floor covered in starving corpses.
You pretend this is easy.
You pretend you are traipsing across the rafters of a church play, balancing for applause, when really your throat is dry and your heart is in your throat.
“Keep your knees bent,” Rick says quietly.
“Weight over the balls of your feet,” Daryl adds at once.
“Yep,” you mutter. “Love being coached through my own stupidity.”
The first shelf is close enough that you can crouch, reach, and hook a box toward you with the length of broomstick Glenn found on the roof for exactly this purpose. It scrapes softly across the top shelf, dust puffing up into your face. You ease it to the beam, pry it open, and find—
“Canned Brussels sprouts,” you breathe. “What kind of sick bastard donates this.”
“Food is food,” Rick whispers.
“Barely.”
You toss the can up.
Glenn leans further into the hole, one arm and half his torso dangling through like a badly secured chandelier, and catches it with both hands before it can bounce off the roof and ring through the warehouse like a dinner bell. “Got it,” he mouths.
The rhythm comes after that, slow and strange and somehow almost manageable once your body stops trying to convince you that you are about to die.
Crouch. Reach. Hook. Lift. Toss.
If anything is too heavy or you don’t have enough arms to carry the load, you stuff everything into your rucksack and hurl it up to Glenn. Daryl then empties the goods and throws the empty bag back down to you. It’s like a cheap version of a dumb waiter, but way less convenient.
Glenn hangs lower and lower through the roof to catch whatever you send up—cans, pasta boxes, a dented multipack of instant noodles, some pathetic but still exciting ramen bricks that make you feel, absurdly, like a kid sneaking through the kitchen at midnight on your tiptoes for cookies when your parents told you explicitly not to. Except the kitchen is a warehouse full of sleeping dead, the cookies are your dinner for the next two weeks, and your parents are flesh-eating mummies in donated church clothes.
The beam complains under every careful step with little rusty chirps and flexes that make Daryl visibly reel from above. Every time it gives even the tiniest creak, his hands clamp harder on the rope like he could wrestle the entire building into obedience if he squeezed hard enough.
“You’re white as a sheet,” you whisper up after you just chucked the rucksack up to Glenn and caught Daryl’s line of sight. He looked like he was going into shock. “Shut up and keep movin’.”
You make it further across the room than any sane person would. The hauls get better too—good, solid stuff that feels like winning. Pasta. Canned fruit. Vacuum-packed noodles. A couple jars of sauce that make Glenn nearly weep.
Eventually, you gather enough loot for Rick to say, “That’s enough. Come on back up.”
And that should have been that.
But then something catches your eye.
A half-collapsed cardboard box on the floor near the far aisle. Not on a shelf. Not conveniently positioned. Just sitting there in a shaft of gray light, label half-torn, one corner buckled in—but unmistakable.
Beans — loads of them.
You go completely still. Above you, Daryl’s expression changes before you even point. He knows you too well. One look at your face and he’s already shaking his head. “Don’t even think about it.”
Glenn blinks. “Huh?”
“It’s beans,” you whisper, like this explains everything.
Rick’s own gaze tracks, lands on the box, and then closes in brief, pained understanding. “No.”
You glance up. “I’ll be super quick.”
Daryl actually makes a strangled sound. “Why ya always gotta make things so hard.”
“You wanna win big, you gotta risk big.” You raise your arms, shrugging. That’s why poker was always your game.
He yanks on the safety rope once, sharp and warning. “No way.”
You look down at the line tied around your waist. And then, because apparently every decent thought has left your skull to make room for legumes, you realise the problem.
You can’t get low enough with the rope on.
Even Rick, patron saint of exhausted pragmatism, is already shaking his head. “No. We’ve got enough. We head back.”
You look at the beans.
The beans look at you.
You haven’t had enough to eat in so long that your body treats the sight of them like a religious vision.
“Stop it, let’s go, cmon,” Daryl says, reading your face with horrifying accuracy.
“Would you still love me if I was beanless,” you whisper to yourself.
“What?” Daryl called back, a little too loud for comfort. The acoustics carried his voice around the warehouse, and for one terrible second, you all held your breaths to see if that had done the trick. It was pure dumb luck that it didn’t stir the walkers awake.
“Focus,” Rick hisses after a few awful seconds. “Keep your voices down. Now cmon, we’ll pull you up—“
You weren’t even listening anymore; when you set your mind on something, all bets were off. “Fuck it,” you mutter, and untie the rope around your waist.
The reaction above you is immediate, silent, and catastrophic. Daryl’s face goes blank in that way it does when he is too furious to form words. Rick hisses something that is probably a curse.
Glenn just says, very quietly, “Oh, no.”
Then you move.
You step off the beam onto the top of a shelving unit, crouch to balance, then lower yourself with every ounce of care you possess to the warehouse floor between the sleeping walkers. The landing is soft enough that only dust puffs around your boots. For one second you stand there with your heart trying to punch out through your ribs, surrounded by bodies that are way too close for comfort.
Above you, Daryl makes a sound like every vessel in his head is preparing to burst. “Glenn,” Rick snaps. “Get to the door. If this goes bad, we open it and run them out.”
Glenn is already sliding back from the hole in the roof, shoes scraping over the metal panels as he hurries for the chained entrance.
Daryl moves like he means to jump straight down after you but Rick catches him by the vest. “No. You go in there now, you get both of you killed.”
“Let go.”
“Think Daryl.”
Below, you don’t give yourself time to think at all. You step over a body with your breath locked in your throat, then another, careful not to brush torn sleeves or brittle fingers. The smell is death in itself—old poison, old rot, old clothes. The beans sit there like a miracle with terrible timing.
You reach them, and as you grip the box, you realise it’s heavier than you expected, dense with cans, the cardboard softened at the corners but still holding. Of course it is. Of course, the thing you would risk your stupid life for would also weigh as much as an anvil.
You heft it onto the top shelf with a soft grunt, wincing when the metal creaks under the shifting load.
You hear the faint, unsettling rattling from across as Glenn struggles to free the chains. At this rate, your dumb bean mission isn't what will wake up the walkers; it's Glenn’s shaking of the doors. It’s pretty ironic that he’s trying to open the doors in case you fuck up, but right now, he is about to wake them up for you before you even get the chance. Whatever happens your not gonna stay down here. So you climb.
The shelf sways under your weight, just a little, but enough to make every nerve in your body flash white. You freeze, knuckles digging into the metal, and wait.
When it finally settles, slowly but surely, you empty the cans from the box into your rucksack, each one placed and shifted to balance the weight. The bag grows heavier and heavier until it drags at your shoulder and tugs your centre of gravity meanly off true.
The chains at the entrance rattle louder now. Glenn planning for your downfall.
You straighten on the shelf top and hold the rucksack up toward the roof opening like a trophy, every inch of you smug despite the death pit all around you. “Tell Glenn not to bother,” you say up towards them. “Mama’s bringing home the goods.”
“Quit messin’ around and move!” Rick hisses.
“Buzzkills,” you mutter.
You bend your knees and jump for the beam the way you’ve done half a dozen times already.
Only this time the shelf gives first.
The metal beneath your feet folds with a horrible, rusted crunch and the whole unit collapses into itself. For one terrible second, all Daryl and Rick see is a bursting cloud of dust and a violent shudder through the racks below.
And then the warehouse wakes up.
Not all at once. That would have been kinder.
A hand twitches.
A head jerks.
A rasp drags up from the floor like somebody striking a match.
You hit the ground hard and rolling, the breath punched out of you. The rucksack slams your shoulder. Somewhere, metal crashes. Somewhere something moans, then something else answers, and suddenly the whole room is filling with the insidious, dreadful sound of sleepers pulling themselves back into hunger.
It’s Daryl’s voice yelling your name which forces you upright.
No checking bruises. No checking the damage. You scramble for the nearest standing shelf and scale it with all the grace of a panicked cat, boots slipping on dusty metal, hands burning. It’s taller than you’d like and farther from the beam than it looked from above, and when you stand on top of it and finally look down—
Stupid idea.
A sea of walkers churns beneath you, arms lifting, jaws working, all those dead faces rolling upward like a starved village. How thoughtful. They want to catch you.
“Now!” Daryl roars.
You jump before you can talk yourself out of it.
Your fingers catch the beam with a jolt that nearly peels your shoulders from their sockets, and your whole body swings out hard—ninety degrees of empty air and screaming muscles before your momentum dies. You hang there for one awful second, staring at the ground, staring at all those outstretched hands waiting politely for you to drop.
Then survival kicks you in the spine, and you must muster everything in you to haul yourself up.
Above, Rick and Daryl are shouting, Glenn is somewhere at the doors, and below the walkers are fully awake now, groans rising loud enough to rattle your teeth. Slow and steady is dead. You go fast, feet clanging over the beam, each step a bargain with physics.
Don’t look down.
Don’t look down.
Don’t look down.
The beam screams under your boots. Something metallic falls away behind you with a crash but you don’t let yourself turn to see. Your rucksack thumps against your back, heavy with the canned beans and poor life decisions.
You make it under the hole at last and thrust the bag upward with both hands.
Daryl looks personally offended by it.
“Take the damn bag,” you hiss.
He glares like you just suggested he rescue the groceries first and your stupid life second. “Get that shit away from me,” he yells.
Rick, who still possesses enough sanity for all three of you, snatches the rucksack out of your hands. “I got it.”
The second the weight is gone from your back, you jump.
Daryl catches you.
Not with any grace either. He catches you like a man grabbing the one thing in the world that matters before it can fall out of reach, hands under your arms, hauling with everything he’s got while Rick grabs your vest and Glenn—somehow back at the roof now because apparently he can teleport when panic is involved—helps drag you up the last ugly, scraping foot.
You collapse half on top of Daryl, half on the roof, both of you breathing like you’ve been gutted.
For a few seconds nobody says anything at all.
Then Glenn lies back flat on the roof beside you and wheezes, “I hope those canned beans are worth it.”
Daryl’s hand comes up hard to the back of your head, not rough, just urgent, pressing you in against his shoulder for one fierce second before he shoves you back enough to look at you. His face is a storm. His eyes are wild. His voice, when it comes, is low and vicious enough to mean more than the words themselves. “You are the dumbest, bravest, most annoying person I ever met.”
To anybody else, it would sound mean.
To you, translated from Daryl, it means: thank God you’re alive, you absolute dumbass.
You grin, still gulping air. “You forgot ‘reckless and impulsive.’”
He closes his eyes like he is asking the universe for strength.
Rick, still kneeling with one hand on the salvaged rucksack, exhales through his nose and says, “Next time, we leave the beans.”
Daryl just kept you there, breathing heavy, arms wrapping around you to keep you there longer before you try to test your luck again.
---------------------
It seems the group got over your reckless borderline suicidal stunt pretty quickly, no matter how eccentric Glenn or Rick told the story. After they were warmed and fed, the group were left stunned in a way of people who have gone too long on empty and suddenly find themselves content and blinking at one another like they’re waiting to wake up.
The beans are in one pot, the pasta in another, the salvaged jars worked into something Carol insists on calling stew and everyone else is too grateful to argue with. The smell alone is enough to make the whole house feel less haunted.
Full bellies change people.
It happens slowly at first—shoulders coming down, voices climbing, somebody laughing too loud at something that isn’t all that funny and nobody minding because laughter itself had started to feel rare enough to hoard. Glenn is nearly glowing from the praise, taking credit for the rope work with just enough modesty to make it irritating, while Tara keeps calling you “Bean Queen” with increasing reverence and zero shame. Even Rick’s face has lost some of that hard, hunted look, though the lines don’t leave him entirely.
You’re tucked into the corner of the room against Daryl, his legs spread out in front of him and your back settled against his chest like that’s where it belongs. His arm is around your middle, hand planted on your hip with the kind of absent firmness that says he’s still making sure you’re here. Every now and then his thumb drags once over the seam of your shirt, checking, counting, reassuring himself in some wordless way he’d deny under oath.
He’s been impossible ever since the warehouse. Not in a mean way — more in a Daryl way. Which is often worse.
“Coulda died over beans,” he mutters now into your hair while Glenns tells Sasha how he nearly dislocated his own shoulder trying to lean through the roof like a chandelier. “That’s a new low.”
You tip your head back just enough to look at him. “They were good beans.”
“They were beans.”
“They were many beans.”
He gives a disbelieving little huff. “You got a death wish.”
Across the room, Glenn lifts his spoon in your direction. “To be fair, it was a pretty heroic amount of beans.”
“Thank you,” you say, pointing at him. “Finally, someone with vision.”
Daryl’s hold tightens fractionally around your waist. “Maybe I oughta put you outta my misery myself.”
You gasp theatrically and grab at his forearm where it lies across you, making a strangled little performance of it. “He’s threatening me,” you croak to the room. “In front of witnesses.”
He doesn’t even try to stop the ghost of the smile that pulls at his mouth. He bends his head and grumbles near your ear, “Wouldn’t have to threaten ya if you’d quit tryin’ to swan-dive into walker pits.”
You go limp in his arms in exaggerated tragedy, one hand flopped over your chest. “Tell. my. story.”
“‘She was stupid,’” Daryl says immediately.
“‘But awsome’” Glenn adds.
“‘Led with her stomach, not her brain,’” Tara says solemnly.
That gets a genuine laugh out of the room, bigger than the joke deserves, the kind that comes from hunger easing its boot off your throat for one blessed hour. You laugh too, because how can you not, even as Daryl shakes his head against your hair and pretends not to enjoy the fact that you fit there so naturally.
Then Carol, practical saint of the damned, appears by the pot with her spoon in hand.“There’s seconds,” she announces. You’re on your feet before the sentence finishes.
Daryl catches your belt loop too late to stop you. “Of course there is,” he mutters, watching you go with the kind of tired affection he only shows when he thinks no one’s paying attention.
You drift toward the pot, bowl in hand, and nearly collide with Rick doing the exact same thing. He steps aside enough to let you in, then doesn’t move far after you’ve both filled your bowls again. The room behind you hums with easy noise. Firelight jumps warm along the walls. For once, no one is listening too hard. Rick leans one shoulder against the mantle and eyes your second helping. “You earned that.”
You grin. “Damn right.”
He nods once, but his expression doesn’t soften as much as the room has. “Today was a Hail Mary.”
The words are quiet, but they land heavier than the bowls in your hands. Your smile slips, just a little. “We made it.”
“You did,” he says. “By the skin o’ your teeth.”
You glance past him toward the others. Daryl is still where you left him, one knee up now, spoon resting in his hand, eyes on you without trying to hide it. He doesn’t know this conversation is about him too, but something in your face must’ve given it away because he sits a little straighter.
Rick sees you look, his tone staying low. “Whatever’s goin’ on, it needs sortin’.”
Your brows pull together. “What’s going on is we’re all exhausted and one bad week from losing our minds.”
“That’s true,” he says. “And still not all of it.”
You open your mouth to deny it and hate that you already know how weak the denial will sound, but Rick lifts a hand before you can try. “I’m not askin’ for details.”
“Great.”
“I’m serious.” He glances toward the room, toward your people, toward the makeshift little camp that has somehow made itself a family twice over and keeps surviving mostly on stubbornness. “I don’t care if it’s grief from the prison, or stress, or just the road gettin’ to everybody. But you’re actin’ reckless. More than usual - which says a lot.”
You shift your bowl from one hand to the other, suddenly unable to get comfortable in your own skin.
“Same goes for Daryl,” Rick continues. “He’s distracted. You’re distracted. And when the two of you start in on each other, it spreads.”
You give a short, incredulous laugh. “Me and Daryl are fine.”
Rick’s face changes in the smallest, most devastating way. It was that deeply tired deadpan of a man who didn’t actually say a name but didn’t need you to say one for him. “…I didn’t say it was about Daryl,” he says.
You close your eyes for one full second. “Great.”
“That’s on you.” He takes a bite of his food with the maddening calm of someone who has already won this exchange, chews, swallows, then says, “I don’t care how you sort it out. Talk. Fight. Go walk a perimeter and scream at each other. Just sort it out. The group needs both of you with your heads screwed on right.”
You look down into your bowl because it’s easier than looking over at Daryl and wondering just how obvious the two of you have become. Your voice comes out quieter than you want. “You really think it’s that bad?”
Rick’s expression softens then, but only by a fraction. “I think you nearly got yourself killed over a box of beans.”
Yikes - the man has a point.
“I think Daryl was ready to jump into a warehouse full of walkers after you, and the only reason he didn’t is because I grabbed him first.” He pauses, then adds in that dry, almost kindly way of his, “And I think if the two of you keep actin’ like whatever this is ain’t affectin’ you, it’s gonna get one of you hurt in a way beans can’t fix.”
The room behind you laughs at something Michonne says. Somebody bumps a chair. Daryl is still watching, and now there’s a question in his face too, because he can tell Rick’s talking to you in that leader-voice of his, the one people only get when they’re either in trouble or about to be assigned something. You swallow, nod once, and Rick seems to take that as enough. “Good.”
He pushes off the mantle, shifts past you, then pauses just long enough at your shoulder to add, “And for what it’s worth… if I had found beans like that, I’d have pulled the same thing.”
You look up so fast you nearly slosh your dinner. His mouth twitches. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.” Then he’s gone, crossing back into the warm noise of the room, leaving you standing there with your second helping and a heart that suddenly feels too big and too visible.
When you turn around, Daryl is still looking at you — the second your eyes meet, one of his brows lifts just a little, asking without words. You stare back for a beat, then start toward him.
He shifts, making room before you even reach him, one hand already reaching for your bowl so you can climb back into the shelter of his body without spilling anything. His arm comes around you the moment you settle, hand warm at your waist, and he bends his head just enough for his mouth to brush your temple.“What’d he want,” he murmurs.
You take a bite first, because apparently you need courage and beans to survive this conversation. Then you mutter into your spoon, “Apparently we’re a public safety hazard.”
Against your hair, he lets out one low, deeply offended huff of laughter. “Well,” he says, voice rough with tired amusement, “he ain’t wrong.”
That should not make your face go hot. It absolutely does.
The room feels too warm suddenly, too full, too close. Full bellies may have made everyone giddy, but they’ve also made it impossible to hide behind misery anymore. Now there’s food in your stomach, a roof over your head, and Rick Grimes has all but told you to go deal with your boyfriend before your unresolved nonsense gets somebody bitten.
You lean back a little further into Daryl’s chest and stare into your bowl like there might be instructions hidden in the beans.
His mouth brushes your ear. “Public safety hazard,” he repeats, almost pleased. “S’got a ring to it.”
You elbow him lightly in the ribs.
He grunts, then kisses your hair.
And because the universe has a sick sense of humor, that tiny, stupid bit of tenderness feels more dangerous than the warehouse ever did.
⸻
Rick’s advice sits between the two of you for maybe fifteen minutes before it becomes impossible to ignore.
Not because either of you particularly wants to acknowledge that Rick Grimes has somehow become the unwilling manager of your sex life, but because now that the words are out there—sort your shit out—the tension feels louder somehow, like naming it gave it teeth.
The house settles around you in soft groans and old wood sighs. The others are still eating and talking in that warm, relieved post-meal haze that only comes after a genuinely good scavenging run. It should feel safe and easy but instead, every time Daryl’s hand drifts over your hip or his mouth brushes your ear a little to closely, it feels like a lit match dropped into dry leaves.
You last maybe five more minutes curled against him before you turn your head and murmur, very quietly, “Come upstairs with me.”
He goes still at once.
Not because he doesn’t want to. That part is so obvious it’s almost embarrassing. It lives in the way his arm tightens around your waist, the way his chest expands under your shoulder, the way his hand stops moving for one single second like his whole body is listening too hard. He tips his head just enough that his mouth is near your ear. “Don’t play with me.”
You blink, caught off guard. “I’m serious”
He sighs through his nose, rough and low and very much not immune. “We ain’t rubbin’ one out in a sleepin’ bag again.”
That drags a laugh out of you before you can stop it, all soft and scandalised. “It wasn’t that bad. And I wasn’t suggesting—”
“Were with your eyes.”
“I can’t control my eyes,” you said - squeezin your eyes shut o he couldn’t see your tell.
He scoffs which in Daryl tongue translates to bullshit, but there’s heat all through it now. He wants this. God, he wants this. He just also wants the version of it where he can actually put his hands on you properly without someoene accidentally becoming part of the experience.
You shift in his lap anyway, because your restraint has been on life support for days and you are no longer prepared to pretend otherwise. “We don’t have to go all the way.” You slide your hand up over his chest, tracing the edge of his vest, and feel the way his breathing changes under your palm. “Just… upstairs.”
The hesitation is still there, but it’s losing ground.
Because he knows you. Knows exactly what your voice sounds like when you’ve hit the end of your rope. Knows what his own body has been doing every time you get too close and then move away. Knows the road has stripped you both down to nerves and instinct and want. He mutters something low and filthy under his breath, then pushes to his feet so suddenly you almost laugh again. “Ladies first,” he says.
The room you duck into on the second floor is barely a room at all anymore—just a narrow little bedroom with peeling wallpaper, one broken chair, and a window clouded over with age. The bed frame is long gone, just a rectangle of paler dust on the floor where something once lived, the air smelling like old wood and summer rot.
You barely make it two steps.
His hands are on you so fast, not rough exactly, but urgent in a way that makes your knees soften even before he spins you around and crashes his lips to yours. You back into the wall and he follows, hands braced on either side of your head for a heartbeat before they start moving—your waist, your ribs, your throat, your hips—like he’s been starved off touch so long he no longer knows how to do it sparingly.
This is why the sleeping bag idea was doomed. Daryl doesn’t do anything halfway once he gives himself permission.
His mouth is everywhere at once — your jaw, your neck, the slope of your shoulder. He kisses like he’s making up for lost time, open-mouthed and relentless, and whatever hesitation he brought upstairs evaporates the second your fingers get in his hair and you pull him back down to you harder.
Your shirt goes first, dragged over your head in a clumsy, breathless tangle that leaves you laughing once into his mouth before he kisses the sound away. Then your bra, and the moment your chest is bare to the cool, stale air his whole expression changes.
He looks wrecked — actually wrecked. Like the sight of you has punched every coherent thought clean out of his head. “Jesus,” he mutters, and then he bends and proves that there is, in fact, no spot on your skin he intends to leave untouched.
You’re the one who shoves him back toward the floor first, guided more by desperation than grace, and he goes with you, landing hard on the old boards with a grunt while you climb over him in one smooth, greedy motion. Your thighs bracket his hips, your hands fisted in his vest, your hair a curtain around both your faces.
For one second he just stares up at you. His hands land on your waist and stay there, thumbs digging in like he’s keeping you from floating away.
The dry humping starts almost by accident. One roll of your hips just to feel him.
One rough exhale from him that says exactly how bad an idea that was.
Then another because it felt so good the first drag.
And another because it was too good to stop.
And suddenly your whole body is lit up, the friction making your thoughts come apart like torched paper. Even through too many layers, it feels devastating—his jeans, your cargos, the heavy shape of him pressing right where you need something and not enough and oh, god.
You drop your forehead to his shoulder and groan. He laughs once, wrecked and breathless, and tips his hips up to meet you.
There it is. That’s enough to make you lose all pride.
“Yeah,” he mutters against your throat, one hand spreading up your back, the other dragging you down harder against him. “That’s it.”
Your lungs abruptly stop working.
Maybe it’s the heat. Maybe it’s the lack of food over a long period of time. Maybe it’s the weeks of wanting finally finding somewhere to go. Whatever it is, you’re dizzy with it in seconds, all the blood in your body rerouted south, burning between your legs so hard it feels cruel.
Daryl’s mouth is at your collarbone now, then lower, then back up, leaving your skin wet and hot and bitten in half a dozen places. You are absolutely going to have hickeys. He seems determined on that point. His mouth keeps finding the same tender places with the concentration of a man signing paperwork.
“You wanna leave marks huh,” you gasp, though it comes out more like an accusation wrapped in a moan.
“Mm,” he says against your breast, entirely unrepentant. “Maybe.”
“You are such a freak.”
“Look who’s talkin’.”
You shove your hand down the front of his jeans and grin at the noise he makes. Not quite a moan — more like someone hit him in the chest with a bat.
There is no dignity left between either of you now. You’ve become a pair of starving animals, and Daryl—who had been trying to pretend he was somehow the composed one—immediately loses that illusion the second your fingers manage to wrap around him.
His head drops back against the floorboards. “Oh, fuck.” He grabs the back of your neck and kisses you so hard your thoughts scatter like birds.
The rhythm gets rougher after that. Needier. And somehow he starts winning, if this is a competition, because his hands are everywhere and yours can’t decide what they want more—his hair, his throat, what’s inside his jeans, under his shirt, all of it at once. You rock down against him again and he actually curses into your mouth, one of his hands gripping your hip so hard it almost hurts.
The room is too hot. Your skin feels feverish. Your breasts are aching from the scrape of his stubble and the drag of his mouth and the way he keeps licking over the marks he leaves like he’s proud of them. You’re so turned on you could combust, one long unbearable pull low in your body, and the friction is so good you can barely think around it.
Which is probably why neither of you hears Maggie the first time.
The second time, what you do hear is her voice drifting up from downstairs, faint through the floorboards. Calling your fucking name.
Your whole body locks. Daryl’s hand stills on your thigh.
You both listen.
Then, louder, Maggie calls your name again: “It’s your watch.”
You close your eyes.
From somewhere below, Rick’s voice cuts in, valiantly trying to save your lives. “Uh—don’t know where she is, I’ll just—”
And then Carl, traitor to the nation, says with perfect sincerity, “I swear I saw her and Daryl go upstairs.”
Your head falls back in pure, cosmic despair.
There is a long silence in which you can actually hear the universe laughing. Then you bury your face in your hands and groan. “Why does God punish me specifically.”
Daryl, who is still painfully, visibly hard under you, drags both hands down his face like he’s trying to peel the frustration off. “You gotta be kiddin’ me.”
The worst part is that Maggie, bless her, has the decency not to yell again right away. Which somehow makes it worse. Now everyone downstairs is just… aware.
You stay where you are for one extra second out of spite. Then another because your body is refusing to accept the ruling. Daryl’s hand comes up and smooths through your hair, his touch suddenly frustratingly gentle now that the moment’s dead. “You’ll live,” he grumbles.
You lift your head and glare at him. “I don’t think I will. Seriously. This is literally killing me.”
“Walk it off.”
“But I don't want to,” you pout.
He strokes your hair again, because apparently he’s decided if he can’t have you he’ll at least pet you through the disappointment. “We’ll get em’ next time.”
“Yeah, right, I have a better chance of becoming a nun… wait, technically I am a nun now, right? Because I ain't getting any?” That's the only noteworthy part of nunhood anyway.
That gets a real huff of laughter from him, but he’s just as wrecked. “That ain’t how it works.”
His jeans are doing absolutely nothing to hide the huge problem, and the second you notice him trying—badly—to angle himself into something resembling dignity, the giggle escapes you before you can stop it. “Shuddup,” he mutters.
You sit back on his thighs enough to appreciate the full extent of his misery and have to bite your lip not to laugh again.
Downstairs, Maggie calls one more time, now definitely amused. “You comin?”
“Yup!” you yell back, then mutter under your breath, “I fucking wish.”Daryl scoffs, but he definitely agrees with you in spirit.
You reach for your shirt and drag it back on, wrinkled and useless, not even bothering with the bra because what exactly had it done for you besides get removed. You grab your rifle, sling it over one shoulder, then look back at him still sprawled on the floorboards, one hand braced over his eyes, the other very obviously trying to hide the state of him.
It is almost enough to make you stay.
Almost.
You step back over him, lean down and cup his jaw with one hand. He looks up instantly. “I’ll be back later,” you say, because hope is all you’ve got left.
“You better.”
You lean down until your mouths are barely apart. “Kiss me like you’ll miss me, Dixon.”
And boy does he.
His hand comes up behind your head at once, fingers threading into your hair, holding you there while he kisses you slow and filthy enough to make your knees threaten mutiny all over again. It’s not rushed. Not sweet either. Just a deep, furious promise pressed mouth to mouth.
You pull away before you can change your mind and throw your watch shift straight into hell. Then you stand, turn, and stomp downstairs with the exact energy of a child summoned to dinner only to discover it’s mostly green vegetables.
The second you hit the ground floor, every pair of eyes pretends very hard not to be looking at you. That alone tells you everything.
Maggie takes one glance at your flushed face, your slightly wrecked shirt, the absence of Daryl, and has the nerve to look innocent.
You stop dead in front of her and flip her off.
She bites back a smirk.
“Cockblocker,” you mutter.
From across the room, Rick puts both hands over his face.
And somewhere upstairs, floorboards creak under the weight of one very frustrated man reconsidering every choice that brought him here.
—
...You last about thirty minutes.
Thirty heroic, miserable, entirely uneventful minutes of watch, sitting by the front window with your rifle across your lap and your nerves lit up like somebody had shoved a live wire under your skin. Outside, the woods are black and still, the moon caught in the high branches, the road beyond the trees pale as bone. Nothing moves. Nothing groans. Nothing snaps a twig or drags a foot or gives you a single useful excuse to focus on anything other than the fact that Daryl was probably just as frustrated, unfinished, and probably still lying there on that dusty floor with his jeans half-fastened and murder in his heart.
You try to be noble about it. You try to be a helpful asset to the group.
You try very hard not to think about his mouth on your skin, his hand in your hair, the way his eyes had gone all dark and helpless right before Maggie ruined your life.
At minute twenty-eight, you decide that being helpful is overrated.
At minute thirty, you abandon your post like a woman with a mission from God.
Glenn is asleep beside Maggie near the fireplace, his blanket pulled up to his chin, one arm tucked awkwardly under his head. Maggie is curled toward him, dead to the world, and you crouch beside him with the stealth of someone about to commit a felony for the greater good.
“Glenn,” you whisper, barely louder than breath.
Nothing. You poke his shoulder with two fingers.
“Glenn.”
He jerks awake so violently his hand shoots toward his knife, eyes wide and terrified, mouth opening around a strangled noise you smother by clapping your palm in the air like no, no, no, shut up, shut up.
“It’s me,” you hiss. “It’s me. Relax.”
He blinks at you, disoriented, hair smashed on one side and sticking straight up on the other. “What—what happened?”
“I need you to take watch.”
His face slowly empties of panic and refills with suspicion. “Why?”
“…I’m tired,” you croaked. You hadn’t really thought of the reason you were gonna tell him to switch with you. “I’m basically falling asleep over here. You really wanna put the lives of those dearest to you with someone as incompetent as me keeping watch?”
Even in the dark, even half-asleep, even with the world ending around you, Glenn manages to look offended by the quality of your lie. “You woke me up,” he whispers, “to tell me you’re tired?”
“…Yes.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You didn’t.”
“Why are you arguing with me when you could be getting up?”
His eyes narrow. Then something terrible happens: he wakes up the rest of the way. His gaze flicks over you—your flushed face, your hair still a little wild from Daryl’s hands upstairs, the way you keep glancing towards where Daryl was tossing and turning in the corner —and realization crawls over his expression with dawning horror. “Oh.”
You point at him. “Don’t.”
“Oh,” he says again, quieter, worse.
“Glenn.”
“You want me to take your watch so you can—”
“If you finish that sentence, I will wake up Maggie right now and tell her about the time i walked in on you with a porno magazine-”
“ok ok, stop!” he cuts you off. “You barely said you were coming in, and that was before I even met Maggie!”
“I'm sure she would be very interested to know what magazine you were looking at”, you said slyly. For one glorious second, you have him. His eyes widen in betrayal. “You’re bluffing.”
“Please,” you chuckle. “I have done far worse for less.”
He looks genuinely wounded now. “You’re a monster.”
“I am a woman in need of assistance.”
“You are extorting me.”
“Oh cmon -- I am negotiating.”
He drags both hands down his face, careful not to wake Maggie, and breathes out through his fingers.
You reach into your pocket with the grave solemnity of a person cutting off their own arm and pull out your final bargaining chip: three condoms, slightly battered, wrapped in hope and lint.
Glenn’s eyes go to them.
Then to you.
Then back to them.
Your voice drops. “I am willing to sweeten the pot.”
His face does an entire emotional journey in silence: shock, temptation, guilt, temptation again, then the realisation that Maggie would absolutely kill him if he passed up apocalypse contraception out of prudishness. “You’re giving me those?”
“Don’t make me say it twice. It hurts.”
He takes them like you’ve handed him state secrets. Then he immediately looks miserable about the entire arrangement. “Fine. But you owe me.”
“I am literally paying you.”
“You owe me time. Next time Maggie and I need—” He cuts himself off with a pained grimace, like the sentence has teeth. “You know.”
You raise both eyebrows. “Need what?”
His jaw clenches. “…Time alone.”
“Say it properly.”
“No.”
“Glenn.”
“I’m not saying it when you know what I’m asking.”
“If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it.”
He gives you the flattest look he has ever managed. “You talk about it constantly.”
“Exactly,” you whisper, delighted. “Which means I should be doing it constantly. I’m working on that tonight.”
He squeezes his eyes shut. “I hate this conversation.”
“You’re welcome for the sexual maturity seminar.”
He opens one eye. “Go. Before I change my mind.”
You grab his face and press a fat kiss to his cheek with a dramatic mwah sound as he squirms in your iron grip. “You were always my favourite Rhee.”
“Favourite what? Person to swap shifts with?”
“Love ya!”
You leave him there to gather his boots and whatever remains of his dignity, moving through the room on bare, careful feet, stepping over packs and blankets and sleeping bodies. The house has gone quiet in that deep-road way, full of heavy breaths and shifting floorboards, the kind of sleep that isn’t peaceful so much as involuntary.
Daryl is in the corner that the two of you had claimed, half-turned toward the wall, his blanket shoved down around his waist. He looks like he tried to sleep and failed out of spite. His mouth is set even unconscious, brows faintly pinched, one arm folded beneath his head.
You crouch beside him and lay your hand on his shoulder.
He comes awake like a trap snapping shut.
One second still, the next upright, hand already going for his knife, every line of him hard and ready—until his eyes find you. The fight drains out in a single breath, replaced by confusion, then heat, then the memory of you and how you left him. “Wha—”
You press a finger to your lips and nod toward the back door.
His eyes narrow.
You nod again.
And he follows after you - of course he does.
He doesn’t ask questions while you lead him through the sleeping house and out into the summer night. He doesn’t ask when he catches sight of Glenn settling miserably near the front window with your rifle across his knees. He does, however, make a face—a slow, suspicious scrunch of nose and brow that says he is beginning to understand there has been some sort of interaction between you.
You keep walking.
Around the side of the house, past the sagging porch, into the darker line of trees where the moonlight breaks into strips, and the air smells like leaves, dirt, and cooling sweat. It’s not warm exactly, not after midnight, but the chill doesn’t reach you properly. You’re too keyed up. Too alive in your skin. Too full of unfinished business.
When you’re far enough that the house is just a dim block behind the trees, you turn around.
Daryl stops a few paces away.
You kick off one boot. Then the other.
His face goes blank.
Your socks follow. Then your shirt, dragged over your head and dropped without ceremony into the grass. “Swapped shifts with Glenn,” you say, already working at your pants. “Cost me my last condoms and my dignity, but those were on the way out anyway.”
Daryl just stares.
You shove your pants down your legs, step out, and straighten in front of him wearing nothing but the silvered brush of moonlight and the goosebumps rising over your bare skin. The air pebbles your nipples instantly; you resist the instinct to cover yourself because the look on his face is worth the cold. “So,” you continue, as if you’re explaining a perfectly reasonable plan, “we are going to fuck in the dirt like God intended.”
His mouth parts. Nothing comes out. It is possible his braiun shortcircuited.
You tilt your head. “You just gonna stand there like a loser, or are you gonna take your pants off?”
That gets him moving, though he does it like the act pains him. His hands go to his belt, fingers rougher than they need to be, breath already uneven. You cross the space before he’s even got the buckle open, toes sinking into the cool dirt, and catch his mouth in something slow.
At first it’s you setting the pace—soft pressure, tongue teasing, palms sliding up the front of his vest as if you’ve got all night. Then his hand cups the back of your neck and the whole thing changes. He kisses you with a sureness that makes your knees weak, deep and controlled and hungry enough to put an end to every illusion of leadership you were carrying. His other hand slides over your waist, down your hip, shameless and familiar, then between your legs, fingers finding you already slick enough to make his breath hitch against your mouth.
You smile into the kiss, because you feel it. That little stumble in him. “There,” you whisper, lips brushing his. “Knew you’d give in eventually.”
He answers by dragging his fingers through you again, slower this time, watching your face like he wants every twitch.
Your words catch, but they don’t stop. They never do when you’re like this. “God I missed your hands,” you murmur, one hand fisting in the front of his vest. “Missed you touching me like you already know what I’m gonna do before I do it.”
His eyes flick up to yours, dark and sharp.
“You do,” you whisper, and the honesty comes out filthy somehow, soft and wrecked. “You know me way too well. You know exactly where to touch, exactly how to make me stupid. Been thinking about it for days - all week, weeks maybe. God, I don’t even know anymore.”
His jaw tightens. His fingers press just right, and you gasp, hips bucking into his hand before you can stop yourself. “That,” you breathe, smiling because he felt it too. “That’s what I mean.”
“Keep talkin’,” he mutters, rough enough to barely be words.
You laugh under your breath. “really does it for you huh?”
His forehead dips to yours. “You’ve no idea.”
That should not hit you as hard as it does. You cup his jaw, kiss him once, then keep going because the way he reacts to your voice is becoming its own kind of intoxication.
“You want me to tell you how bad I’ve needed you?” you whisper. “How many times I almost grabbed you by that damn vest and dragged you behind the nearest tree? How I’ve been lying next to you every night trying not to climb on top of you in front of the whole damn group like some kind of desperate woman with no home training?”
A sound breaks out of him—half laugh, half groan—and then his hands are under your thighs.
He lifts you, your legs wrapping around his waist on instinct, and he carries you a few steps deeper into the trees, mouth returning to yours with enough force to swallow your next breath. Then he lowers you to the ground slowly, one arm behind your back, one hand at your hip, careful even now, even when his whole body is shaking with restraint. The grass is cool under your spine. Dirt presses against your bare shoulder blades, leaves scratching gently at your skin.
He breaks the kiss and starts moving south - and you know exactly where he’s going. “Daryl—”
He ignores the warning in your voice because his mouth is already pressing at your stomach, then your hip, then lower, dragging heat across your skin with each open-mouthed kiss. By the time he settles between your thighs, the last of your patience dies. He latches onto you like he’s doing it for himself, not for you, like this is something he’s been denied and intends to take back with interest.
The gasp that leaves you is so sudden and sharp you don’t know if it came from you or some other equally doomed woman in the woods.
It’s obscene how ready you are for him. How wet. How your body gives him everything immediately, no pride left, no delay. His mouth works you like he’s starving, and the slick sound of it in the quiet dark makes heat rush up your chest and throat. You slap a hand over your own mouth for half a second, then drag it into his hair instead because that feels more useful.
He looks up when you tap his shoulder, eyes heavy and wild, face wet, expression so open it nearly breaks something in you.
“What,” he rasps, and you swore he sounded upset.
“We don’t have time,” you whisper, breathless, already pulling at him. “And honestly, I feel like I’ve been in foreplay for weeks, so it’s not exactly a tragedy if we skip a chapter.”
His mouth twitches, a grin ghosting his face.
You grab his face and pull him up to yours, kissing him hard, tasting yourself on him, using the distraction to work him free from his pants. He lets you, though the sound he makes when your hand closes around him is enough to make your whole body clench.
You guide him between to your cunt, slicking him through the mess he’s made of you, and for one strange, suspended second, your brain expects cruelty.
This is where the dream would cut off. This is where you’d wake gasping and humiliated with nothing but cold ground and frustration.
But you don’t wake. Daryl is still over you. Real. Heavy. Breathing hard. His eyes search your face, one last check, one last silent question. You answer by wrapping your legs tighter around him and pulling him closer.
He pushes in slowly.
The stretch is a sharp, bright thing at first, a scratch of too much after too long without, but underneath it is relief so profound it almost makes your eyes sting. You cling to his huge shoulders, fingers bunching in the worn fabric of his vest, and your whole body seems to open around him in increments, remembering, accepting, aching for the rest.
He stops halfway with a ruined grunt against your neck. You can feel him holding himself back. Feel the tremor in his arms. Feel the breath trapped in his chest because he’s trying to give you time to adjust, because he knows it’s been a while, because no matter how desperate he is, he still knows how to be careful with you.
You cup his face and force him up enough to see you. “Move baby,” you whisper.
His eyes darken, but he still hesitates.
“Please,” you add, softer, but no less wrecked, hand going to his lower neck to urge him forward. “I need you to move. We both need you to move.”
The breath leaves him all at once and his hips rock.
Slow at first. Deep enough to pull a sound from you that barely qualifies as human. It is absurd, the whole scene—your bare body spread out in the dirt beneath a man still sorta-dressed, your ass probably covered in dirt, your hair full of grass, the two of you finally losing your minds in the woods at some ungodly hour because the apocalypse gave you no better bedroom. It should be funny.
It is kinda funny.
It is also the best thing you’ve felt in weeks.
You laugh once, bright and breathless, and it snaps into a squeal when he fills you again, even deeper this time. “Fuck,” you whisper, delighted, overwhelmed. “Oh my god, Daryl. That’s—yes. Jesus it’s so so much better than I remembered.”
You keep talking because you can’t help it, because the words are as much release as the movement. “Godd don’t stop, please don’t stop - just like that,” you whine.
His head drops, mouth finding your shoulder.
“There you are,” you breathe, stroking the back of his head the way you know undoes him, fingers slipping through sweaty hair. “That’s what I missed. You feeling this good. You getting all quiet n shy and serious — like you’re doing important work.”
A rough laugh shakes out of him. “Don’ worry - ain’t stoppin’ for nobody.” He huffs against your skin, but his hips aim up in answer, and the new angle steals your breath clean out of your chest. “Oh—shit—yes, that. Baby, that’s it.”
He changes pace — the hand under your head slides higher, cupping your skull, lifting you so he can watch your face. It’s devastatingly intimate in the middle of all this dirt and desperation, his thumb brushing once over your cheekbone while the rest of him drives into you with a focus that borders on feral. Your own hand drops from his hair to the back of his neck, holding him there, keeping his eyes on yours even when yours start to blur.
The tease you’ve been living in for weeks has been all sharp edges and unmet need, a painful little ache with nowhere to go. This is different. This is warm. Heavy. Eye-watering. A relief so deep it feels almost serene under the fever of it, like your body has finally stopped bracing against absence and remembered how to soften around him.
You try to press your lips together to stay quiet, and he sees it. Sees your eyes roll back, sees your face go slack with pleasure you can’t hide, and something in him visibly snaps. “Missed that,” he breathes, so low you almost don’t catch it. “Missed seein’ you like this.”
Your legs are useless around him now, loose and shaking, swaying with every powerful thrust. His grip on your hips and ass is bruising, pulling you down to meet him, making sure nothing between you is wasted. The pressure is building fast—his body grinding just right, cock bullying the same bright place over and over until your fingers claw at his vest and your breath turns ragged.
You get maybe five seconds of warning. “Darylll,” you gasp. “I think I’m—”
He hears it and groans like it hurts. “Yeah?”
“I’m—fuck, m'cumming—”
It washes over you so hard your body bows under him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you were no exception - fuck, you missed Daryl-induced orgasms. Your whole body lights up into fireworks like it's the Fourth of July. You swear you died and went to fucking heaven because all you remember is your vision turning to spots and hearing a muffled sound similar to your own, but also not far from a dying animal being smothered. You manage to muffle most of the sound against his mouth, but not all of it, and he swallows what he can while your whole body goes taut, then liquid, then shaking in waves. It is messy and intense and impossible to hide from, literally - it's like a waterpark between your legs and Daryl is front seat in the splash zone.
Thank god you warned him because he doesn’t last much longer after that, not with how long it’s been. Not with your legs locked around his waist and your hips still chasing him through the aftershocks like your body hasn’t had enough sense to stop. He swears he hears you whisper inside, but he can't be sure if that's you or the twisted voice in his head.
He has no zero chance of pulling out - your legs are locked and sealed around him, and from the way his breath breaks, he knows it. And secretly, he is grateful because he isn’t sure he is strong enough to leave your warmth
Brother just accepts his fate, buries his face in your neck, and lets go with a low, strangled sound that vibrates through your skin. His hips stutter once, twice, and he finally cums with balls flushed to your ass, and the next thing you feel is warmth flooding your insides. You hold him through it, grinning like an idiot, your hands gentler now, one in his hair and one between his shoulder blades, feeling the tremors move through him until his weight slumps over you.
For a while, neither of you moves.
The woods breathe around you. Bugs hum. The dirt is cool under your back. His chest is warm and solid against yours, his breath damp against your throat. Your heart slows in pieces. Your brain, which has been unavailable for several minutes, returns just enough to observe that you are naked in the grass, sticky, dirty, probably bitten by several insects (including Daryl), and happier than you have been in weeks.
Daryl shifts enough to keep from crushing you but does not pull away. One hand smooths over your hair, picking out a leaf with grave concentration. “Still mad atcha,” he mutters eventually.
You laugh weakly. “Funny way of showing it.”
He lifts his head just enough to glare at you. It is much less effective with his hair in his eyes and his body still softening inside you.
“You pull that shit again for a can of beans, I ain't gonna come getcha.” Ohh he’s so full of shit.
“The beans fed us.”
“You almost fed them.”
You smile and stroke his cheek with the backs of your fingers. “But I didn’t.”
His look says he has aged six years since sundown. “Gonna be the death’a me.”
“You keep saying that,” you murmur. “And yet, here you are. Very alive. Very accomplished.” He drops his forehead to yours and huffs a laugh despite himself.
Then a voice drifts from the direction of the house, careful and carrying through the trees with the exact tone of a man doing his absolute best not to picture anything. “Hey, guys?”
You and Daryl freeze.
Glenn clears his throat from somewhere mercifully far away. “Not looking. Not looking ok! Just, uh… just warning you, Carl’s switching over soon, and I really don’t want him to be scarred.”
You close your eyes.
Daryl groans into your shoulder like a wounded animal.
There’s a pause.
Then Glenn adds, faintly shell-shocked, “Also… wow, you guys really make alot of noise”
“Glenn!” you hiss. Daryl straightened up so he could conceal your body mody more with his. “No one asked ya ta listen man.”
“Hey Daryl — and I wasnt,” he calls back immediately. “Believe me i wish i could unhear it,”
Daryl lifts his head just enough to mutter, “I’m gonna kill him.”
“You cannot kill him, he’s keeping watch,” you whisper. “We owe him condoms.”
Daryl stills, and very slowly, he looks at you. “You owe him what.”
You smile with all the innocence left in your body, which is none. “Negotiations were fierce.”
He stares at you for one beat, two, then drops his face into your neck and starts laughing so quietly his shoulders shake. And for the first time in weeks, really and fully, you feel the road loosen its teeth.
——
Morning comes softer than it has any right to. The house still looks half-haunted in daylight, all peeling wallpaper and warped floorboards and dust lifting lazily through the beams of sun, but it smells like breakfast now, which makes even the rot in the corners feel less committed to the bit. Someone has coaxed a thin pot of oats into existence with water, a handful of salvaged raisins, and the kind of optimism only starvation can produce. It is not good, exactly, but it is hot, and hot counts for a lot.
The group moves in that sluggish, post-sleep shuffle of people who know they have to pack up but are trying to pretend the road doesn’t exist yet. Bedrolls get shaken out. Weapons are checked. Canteens are passed around and refilled from the precious little water you have left. Glenn is at the window, very determinedly looking anywhere except directly at you, which is unfortunate for him because his ears go pink every time he accidentally catches your eye.
Daryl, on the other hand, has apparently woken up possessed.
Not in a dramatic way. Not in a throw you over his shoulder and announce ownership to the room way, but still. For Daryl, this is practically a parade.
He is everywhere.
Leaning into your space while you sit against the wall. Passing you a cup of water and letting his fingers linger a second too long around yours. Brushing past your shoulder even though there is plenty of room. Standing behind you with one hand braced on the wall above your head while he pretends to listen to Rick discuss the route. It’s not showy, not enough for anyone to call him on it without sounding nosy, but you feel every inch of it. The quiet gravity of him. The warmth at your back. The way his hand lands at your hip and slides just a little lower than it usually would in front of everybody before he seems to remember himself and stills there, stubbornly refusing to move it back up.
“You’re being sweet this morning,” you smile at him, voice syrupy. He tells you to shut up - true love everybody. And then ruins the denial by brushing his thumb over your lower back as he turns away.
Across the room, Carol’s mouth twitches into a smile she hides behind her cup.
Maggie drops down beside you a few minutes later with her own bowl balanced between her knees and the kind of look that says she has decided to make your morning worse. She glances over you once—your rumpled shirt, your hair still not quite free of leaves, the dirt smudged behind your knee despite your best attempt at washing up in the cold—then raises her eyebrows. “You’re a little dirtier than your usual filth.”
You nearly choke on your oats. “Good morning to you too.”
“It is.” Her eyes flick to your neck. “For some more than others, looks like.”
You slap a hand over the spot too late.
Daryl, from beside you, pretends that it’s none of his business.
Maggie bites down on a smile. “Relax. Most of us are pretending not to notice.”
“Most of you?”
She tips her head toward Glenn, who immediately busies himself with a strap on his pack as if it has become the most fascinating object in the known universe.
You narrow your eyes. “Your husband has keen ears, I’ll give him that.”
“Its a gift and a curse,” Maggie says, voice dropping into a whisper that turns wicked around the edges. “And thanks, by the way.”
Your eyes widen, and she takes a calm bite of breakfast.
You stare at her. “Did he—”
“No details,” she says at once, holding up a hand. “I accepted the goods. I did not ask about what he did to get them.”
“yeah well not that you desrve it,” you say, covering your face with one hand. “You’re still a traitor for ratting me out yesterday”
Maggie pats your knee with deep, sisterly cruelty. “You look happier.”
You peek at her through your fingers. “Do I?”
“Oh yeah. You’re practically glowing and I think I know why,” she said, looking over to Daryl who was scoffing over his porridge.
You try to glare, but it dissolves almost instantly, because she’s right and you both know it. The awful tightness that had been sitting under your ribs for weeks is gone, or at least loosened. The world is still ruined. You are still hungry. Your feet still hurt. You still have no idea what the next road will do to you.
But your skin feels like yours again.
Your breathing feels easier.
And when Daryl settles behind you, one knee bracketing your side, and silently takes your bowl from your hand to scrape another spoonful of oats into it, your chest does something painfully soft.
Maggie watches this with shining eyes and the tiniest possible smirk.
You point your spoon at her. “Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You’re thinking too loud.”
Daryl hands the bowl back to you, fuller than before, then stays close enough that his thigh presses against your shoulder. His fingers brush your hair once, picking out a tiny piece of grass with grave concentration.
Tara, who has clearly been waiting for an opening from the other side of the room, leans over her pack with a grin. “So, since we’re all alive and emotionally renewed this morning—hypothetically—if there was a gallon of water at the bottom of a ravine, would you jump for it?”
You pause with the spoon halfway to your mouth.
“Sorry,” Tara corrects herself. “What I meant was how long would it take you to jump for it?” A couple of people in the group chuckle - we’ve got ourselves a comedian over here.
Then you squint at her as the suggestion has personally offended your new, evolved spirit.
“The fuck would i do that for?” you ask. “That sounds insane.”
The room goes quiet for one delicate second, as if the group needed time to process that it was actually you who saud that and not some clone.
"Holy shit," Tara points at you with both hands. “She’s cured.”
“I am indeed a changed woman,” you say solemnly, sitting a little straighter. “A woman of wisdom. A woman of restraint. A woman who would maybe send someone else after the water first… like Glenn.”
Glenn puts his arms out, as if saying the hell did I do?
Daryl scoffs, still fiddling with the back of your hair, which seems to have replaced his nail biting.
“Progress,” Michonne says, dry as dust, though there’s the barest curve at the corner of her mouth.
“Temporary,” Rick mutters, but there’s warmth in it now, faint and reluctant, as his gaze drifts from you to Daryl and back again.
You see the exact moment the pieces start arranging themselves behind his eyes. The second helping Daryl has silently bullied into your bowl. The way he’s settled behind you, legs bracketing your sides, one arm slung low around your waist like he’s pretending to be casual and failing with his entire body. The way you, for the first time in days, are not vibrating like a bowstring pulled too tight.
Daryl catches the change in you instantly and lifts his head. “What?”
“Nothing,” Rick says, too quickly.
Daryl narrows his eyes. “Don’t sound like nothin’.”
“I said nothing.”
Without looking up from your bowl, you point your spoon at Daryl. “Leave Rick alone. He’s respecting boundaries.”
Rick gives you the flattest look a man can give while holding porridge.
You smile sweetly back at him. “See? Growth all around. We’re sorting out a lot of things today.”
Behind you, Daryl goes very still for half a second. Then his mouth dips close to your ear, his voice low enough that it brushes right under your skin. “M’down to sort it out again.”
You elbow him lightly in the ribs, but you’re smiling too hard for it to land with any real force. “Shut up.”
“What?” His hand tightens briefly at your hip, smugness bleeding into his whisper. “Rick said we had to sort it out.”
“Pretty sure he didn’t mean traumatize Glenn.”
From across the room, Glenn says, without turning around, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Daryl calls back, deadpan.
Glenn drops his head into his hands. Maggie laughs so hard she has to set her bowl down before she spills it, and even Rick’s stern-leader face cracks around the edges.
That is, of course, the exact moment Carl wanders back in from outside, rubbing sleep from one eye, hair smashed on one side. The whole room goes abruptly, suspiciously normal in a way that is not normal at all.
Carl stops in the doorway and looks around. “Why’s everyone weird?”
“No reason,” six people say at once.
He stares at all of you for a few seconds, deeply unimpressed and far too young to be trusted with silence. Then his gaze lands on you and Daryl, still tucked together in your corner, and his brow furrows with sudden, earnest concern.
“Is it because you and Daryl went hunting in the middle of the night and didn’t get anything?”
Glenn makes a strangled noise into his sleeve.
Carl looks around, bewildered by the reaction. “There’s plenty of porridge,” he continues, like he’s trying to comfort two grieving providers. “You guys bring enough food in as it is. It’s not fair that people are upset just because you couldn’t find anything this one time.”
You stare at him. Then, very slowly, you put a hand over your heart.
“Thank you, Carl,” you say, voice trembling with false emotion. “That means more than you know.”
Daryl’s knee shifts under your hand; you can feel him trying not to laugh, which only makes you worse.
“We work night and day,” you continue, your hand sliding dramatically onto Daryl’s knee, “not afraid to get our hands dirty, not afraid to brave the woods alone, all to provide for this family. And yes, maybe in some ways last night was… fruitless.”
Glenn scoffs at that, clearly disagreeing with that statement, while Maggie buries her face in her hands. You keep going, because now that you’ve started, dignity is dead, and you are dancing on its grave. “But we gave it everything we had. Didn’t we, Daryl?”
Daryl has both hands over his face now, shoulders shaking. Whether from laughter, embarrassment, or the profound desire to sink through the floor, it’s hard to tell. You stroke his back with solemn tenderness. “Look at him. He can’t even speak, he's so broken up about it.”
“Stop,” Glenn wheezes.
“I only hope,” you say, lifting your spoon like a preacher before a ruined congregation, “that someday you can all find it in your hearts to forgive us.”
Rick finally loses the battle. A laugh slips out before he can stop it, rough and tired and real. He points his spoon at you, trying and failing to look stern. “Shut up and finish your breakfast,” he says, still laughing under his breath. “We leave in half an hour.”
The room breaks open around that—not too loud, not reckless, but real. A laugh here, a groan there, Tara clapping Glenn on the shoulder, Rick pretending not to smile and failing by a mile. It’s stupid and mortifying and warm in a way you’d forgotten mornings could be. Even the road waiting outside feels less like a punishment and more like something you might survive because you are not walking into it hollow anymore.
When breakfast is done, and the packing finally becomes unavoidable, you stand and brush dust from your jeans, only for your knees to give the tiniest, traitorous wobble. It is barely anything. Practically imaginary. Unfortunately, Daryl notices because Daryl notices everything about you when it is inconvenient. You lean close enough to murmur, "You may have slowed me down today, but honestly, I’m not even mad.”
His ears go red so fast you feel victorious for the next ten minutes.
Outside, the day waits bright and mean, the road stretching beyond the trees like it always has, indifferent and hungry. Packs go on. Weapons settle into familiar places. Rick checks the map one last time. The group begins to move in that tired, practiced formation that has kept you alive this long.
You think about the warehouse, the beans, the roof, the hunger. You think about the prison, the dream, the grass under your back, Glenn’s traumatised little voice from the dark. You think about the full bellies, softer shoulders, Daryl’s mouth at your ear, laughing against your skin, and what's to come next.
You slide your hand into his for exactly three steps, where no one can really see. His thumb strokes once over your knuckles before he lets go, because public affection still has its limits and Daryl Dixon is still Daryl Dixon, even freshly sorted out.
Whatever there is next waiting around the corner on the road, you know you'll sort that out too - one way or another.
Summary: Loving Daryl Dixon came with fine print: Merle. During laundry duty in the prison yard, what starts as casual storytelling turns into a full-blown public humiliation ritual, with Merle airing out exactly how he discovered your secret relationship, Daryl trying not to combust, and half the group learning far too much. Between dirty laundry, thin curtains, old insults, morbid curiosity, brotherly baggage, and one very questionable apology, you’re forced to decide whether Merle is worth tolerating. Unfortunately, because he’s Daryl’s family, he’s yours too.
Warnings: Merle is a pretty huge warning, Discussion of racism and xenophobia Racist language / microaggressions, allusions to racit slurs (i was too uncomfortable to put it in but you get what he means) Sexist comments Crude sexual humour Accidental voyeurism (Merle is a peeping Tom 😃) References to sexual content Implied sexual content Established sexual relationship Alcohol consumption Drunkenness, ngl some cringy parts here and there sue me, some fluff, alot of crack, angst with happy ending, SMUT !!! shower sex, then bedroom sex, merle stole their condoms so do the math 😏, intimate sex, uhh what else oh awful Spanish sorry to spanish speakers, I've been told i get the gender of Sanish wrong o bare that in mind.
Author's note: This is only about 40k words 😃 sorry. this was based off a request i got almost a year ago which ill make a post about but i also combined it with a few other requests for another latina fic (go check out Corazon if you haven't already<3). The tenses' in this fic does get a lil confusing i will say that but hang in there soldier ✊. And i cannot reiterate this enough i am a white woman; i will never undertand what racial discrimination is like firsthand (argue with the wall) so this fic isnt exactly taken from retrospect 💀 this is supposed to be a fun fic however so try and enjoy it to the most if you can get through it 🩷 This wouldnt be a class TWD fic without a bit of angst. My inbox is always open if you wanna share your thoughts on this or comment below :) Anyway without further ado enjoy 🙈
Morning at the prison came with heat already rising off the concrete, with the sour-metal stink of the fence, with walkers piling up outside the chain-link like shoppers on Black Friday. Their fingers hooked through the gaps, gray and split and grasping, teeth clacking wetly at anyone who got too close. The fence crew had been at it since dawn—spears punching through skulls, boots scraping gravel, somebody muttering for the love of God every time another one staggered in to replace the last.
Beyond that, life went on with the stubborn, ridiculous insistence it always had.
Carol stood by the grill with her sleeves rolled up, flipping something that was sizzling like a snare. A few people drifted near with tin plates in hand, drawn in by hunger more than smell. Someone had managed coffee, or at least hot brown water with ambitions. Kids moved between the cell block and the courtyard in little clusters, running carelessly again like all kids should be. The prison, for all its concrete and razor wire and blood baked into the cracks, had learned how to pretend at normal.
You came out into it with a laundry basket balanced against your hip, the weight already wearing your arms down.
You had put off washing yours and Daryl’s clothes for far too long. Not because you were lazy, despite what Merle would say if given half a chance, but because laundry for two people somehow multiplied in the dark like rabbits. Daryl alone shed enough grime to qualify as a weather system. There were shirts stiff with sweat, socks you were ninety percent sure had once been white, bandanas, several pairs of jeans that looked like Jackson Pollock paintings, a whole lot of gross underwear, and some of his sleeveless shirts you sneaked into the basket because if he caught you trying to wash his clothes he’d try and steal it back.
The basket was heavy enough that you had to stop near the wash tubs and set it down with a dull, wet thump. “Madre de Dios,” you muttered, flexing your fingers.
“Hi, Mrs. Dixon.”
You froze for half a second. The title snagged somewhere warm and ridiculous under your ribs but you’d deny it had any effect on you all the same. Mrs. Dixon. Huh.
You and Daryl weren’t officially married; it’s not even something you’ve ever discussed. It was as if half the prison collectively decided it was easier to call you his wife than explain whatever you were. You suppose girlfriend sounded pretty tacky and childish, and partner sounded like a business affair, so… you didn’t correct Patrick. You only glanced over your shoulder, caught the shy, earnest look on his face, and let yourself grin down at the laundry for one private second before turning around. “Morning, Patrick. How’s it goin’?”
He stood a few feet away with the stiff posture of a little boy on his first day of kindergarten, all limbs and nerves and too much bravery gathered in one place. You noticed his nervous tick of pushing his glasses up the ridge of his nose, eyes darting past you like whatever he needed was standing behind your shoulder with a knife.
Which, unfortunately, was not far from the truth.
Merle Dixon sat on a bucket, shaded near the wall, with one boot on an overturned crate, chewing jerky like he personally resented the cow it came from. He had a wrench in one hand, turning it idly like he was admiring treasure. A little pile of scavenged odds and ends sat near his boot: screwdrivers, pliers, a socket piece, something that might have once belonged to the generator shed.
Patrick stared at him like he was facing a final boss. You followed his gaze and sighed. "What did he take?"
Patrick blinked, startled. "I'm sorry?"
"Merle," you said, already tired. "What did he take?"
Patrick's ears went pink. "...My wrench."
"Your wrench?"
"Well, not mine mine," he said quickly, because Patrick had the kind of conscience that try to file paperwork before committing theft. "I mean, I found it. I was keeping it. For later.
"For later," you repeated.
His whole face lit despite the fear. "Yeah. I mean, if we ever find something with an engine that isn't completely destroyed, I thought maybe I could help fix it up. Like, not a car, probably, because that's a lot, but maybe a bike or a go-kart or something. It was something me and my dad used to do..."
He seemed embarrassed from how you were staring at him. "That sounded less stupid in my head"
"No," you said, softening despite yourself. "That sounds like it would be put to much better use than whatever Merle was planning to use it for." Your money was on him using it as a new hand and calling himself Mr Gadget.
Patrick gave you a hopeful, helpless little smile. Then Merle made a show of flipping the wrench in his hand, and Patrick's smile died instantly.
You nudged the basket aside with your foot and tipped your chin toward Merle. "Go ask for it back."
Patrick swallowed. "Are you crazy?"
"Patrick," you sterned, nodding towards Merle. "Go get it back from him."
"Ok," he squeaked but still didn't make any effort to move.
You almost laughed. "Don't let him intimidate you. He's mostly hot air and tantrums." From the shade, Merle called without looking over, "Heard that."
“You were meant to,” you called back.
Patrick took one step. Then another, until he was stood in front of Merle with his shoulders rounded, wrenchless hands hanging at his sides, chin tucked like he was approaching a dog everyone had specifically told him might bite. Which, to be fair, was not an unfair assessment. "Um," Patrick started, but his mouth was suddenly drier than wine.
Merle's eyes slid up, slow and mean with boredom. "You got somethin' stuck in yer throat, kid?"
Patrick swallowed so hard you saw it from the wash tubs. "Mr. Dixon?"
Merle's mouth curled around the strip of jerky wedged between his teeth. "Mr. Dixon's my daddy," he drawled, picking at a molar with his thumbnail. "You wanna speak to him, you gotta travel a whole lot more south, and I ain't talkin' Texas."
Patrick's face did something tragic. His mouth opened. Closed. Opened again, like his brain had briefly left his body and was now trying to climb back in through the window. "Pardon me, Merle."
"Look at that," Merle said, shifting the wrench from one hand to the other. "Almost said it with yer chest."
"I, um.." Patrick's eyes flicked down to the wrench, then back up again, then immediately away because Merle was staring at him like an unpaid debt. "I'd like my wrench back, please."
Merle glanced at the wrench as if surprised to discover it there. "This?"
"Yes."
"This thing here?" He lifted it into the sunlight, turned it once, inspected it with great ceremony. "This your wrench?"
Patrick nodded, hope gathering in him with painful innocence. "..That's the one."
"Huh." Merle squinted at it. "Don't see your name on it."
The hope died. You actually watched it leave Patrick's body. His shoulders drooped first, then his chin, then the rest of him folded inward in slow, awful stages. It was more painful than watching a promposal get turned down in a school cafeteria. He gave one tiny nod, like he had accepted this cruel verdict. and started to turn away.
You closed your eyes and asked every saint you could remember for patience you didn't think could be rendered anymore but prayed for anyway.
Carol, from the grill, did not even look around. "Don't let him make the boy cry before breakfast."
You wiped your wet hands down the front of your jeans and crossed the yard. Patrick saw you coming and froze in a miserable little halfway turn, equal parts grateful and mortified. Merle, on the other hand, looked delighted. Like this was the most exciting thing to happen to him all morning, which was probably true, because his hobbies included theft, harassment, and annoying people. “Well, well,” Merle said, leaning back on his crate. “Here comes la jefa.”
You stopped in front of him and held out your hand. "Give the kid his wrench back."
Merle looked at your palm, then up at your face. "He wouldn't know what to do with it."
"Doesn't matter. It's his."
"Might hurt himself."
"He's more likely to hurt himself standing near you."
Behind you, Patrick made a tiny sound-half laugh, half panic-like amusement had tried to escape and been tackled by survival instinct.
Merle's grin sharpened. "Alright, alright, calm down, lil' sister." He lifted both hands, the wrench still held hostage in one of them, then looked past you toward Carol. "In-laws, am I right?"
There it was again - the whole prison had apparently held a wedding while you were busy collecting your dirty clothes.
From Merle, it sounded less like a title and more like a charge being read aloud in court. Still, the words kicked softly under your ribs, embarrassing and stupidly nice. You didn't correct him - that would have given him far too much joy.
You kept your hand out. "Wrench. Now."
Merle looked at your hand. Looked at the wrench. Looked back at you. And still, somehow, made no move to hand it over.
So you slapped him upside the back of the head -- a crisp, satisfying little smack except it wasn't little. Merle jerked forward, more offended than hurt. "Ow! Woman, what the hell-"
"Wrench," you demanded. "Now. Don't make me hit you again."
Carol's shoulders started shaking at the grill. She was trying to keep flipping breakfast like she was above this, but one corner of her mouth had given up entirely.
Merle muttered something gross under his breath and shoved the wrench into your hand. You turned and passed it to Patrick, who accepted it with both hands like you had returned a kidnapped sibling from war. "Thank you," he said, clutching it to his chest.
You pointed at Merle. “Say you’re welcome.” Merle's face twisted. "Hold on now-"
"Merle, di que eres bienvenido!"
Shit — you said it in Spanish. Now he has to say it. He glared at Patrick; " yer welcome," he bit out, each word dragged through broken glass.
Patrick nodded quickly. "Thank you. Again."
You were about to go back to the wash tubs when Patrick's gaze slid, cautious but newly brave, toward the little pile of tools near Merle's boot."Erm," he said. "Is now a good time to say he also took my pliers?"
Merle's head snapped toward him.
Patrick flinched but, to his credit, continued. "And the long screwdriver. And the thing with the little twisty end."
Merle looked about ready to flip. The thing with the little twisty end? His expression said. Why should this kid have tools he don't even know the name of?
You stared at him. Then you realised, with some horror, that you had understood the exact shape of Merle's thought without him speaking it aloud. You were spending way too much time around him.
Slowly, you turned your head and raised your eyebrows. Merle lifted both hands in defeat. "Fine. I'm goin' to get 'em."
"They are right there," you pointed.
"The rest of 'em," he called back.
"That's only some of it," Patrick added, voice small. "I think he keeps the other stuff he steals under his bed."
Merle stared at him, and Patrick shrank half an inch but did not take it back.
Then Merle pushed himself off the crate with a groan worthy of a dying man. "Lord above, shoulda stolen his specs first."
"He would still see you stealing his wrench - you're not exactly stealthy." you reminded him.
"How was I s'posed to know he'd tell his mama on me?"
Oh hell no. You took one step forward and Merle immediately took one step back.Smartest thing he’d done all morning. “Get the rest of his shit,” you said, voice sweet enough to curdle milk. “Now.”
Carol finally laughed out loud, bright and quick over the hiss of the grill.
Merle pointed at her as he passed. "You stay outta this, Peletier.”
Carol flipped the meat with unnecessary force and did not look remotely threatened. "Return the tools, Merle." He kept walking, shoulders hunched in dramatic martyrdom. "Everybody's on my damn back today."
You watched him go until he was out of earshot, then turned back to the wash tubs. The morning had already warmed the water unpleasantly, and the pile of clothes waited like a punishment. You knelt, grabbed one of Daryl's shirts, dunked it, and started wringing it out, cloudy water running over your knuckles.
The courtyard went on around you. Somebody laughed near the cell block doors. Metal scraped on concrete. Out by the fence, the spear crew worked in a steady rhythm, push and twist, push and twist, walkers dropping like flies and then more turning up to the party. The prison always had a soundtrack now-groans, crows, boots, pots, children's voices, and somewhere in the middle of it all, people pretending not to listen. And strangely, Patrick still hovered by the wash tubs holding his rescued wrench to his chest, looking torn between getting breakfast and clutching the tool tighter in case Merle appears and takes it by force.
You glanced up. "Uh... you good, Patrick? Anything else I can do for ya?" You let the mama joke slide for now but no way were letting it become a thing.
He stared at you with open awe. "How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"That." He gestured vaguely after Merle, then at the wrench, then at you. "Manage him."
The word made you bark a laugh. "Manage Merle?"
Patrick nodded earnestly. "Yeah. Like... how?"
You looked toward where Merle had vanished, then toward the fence where walkers pressed and groaned, then back down at the shirt in your hands. A grin tugged at your mouth before you could stop it.
Carol slid a portion of breakfast onto a tin plate and carried it over with the air of someone who had decided this conversation was more interesting than cooking, handing the food to Patrick. “Well it’s not an easy task,” she said, handing Patrick the plate because apparently fear of Merle burned calories. “But he has come a long way I’ll give him that.”
You snorted. "Still has quite a bit to go, though."
Carol smiled, eyes flicking toward you. "Well yeah. But baby steps."
Patrick leaned in slightly, hooked despite himself.
You twisted Daryl's shirt tighter, water streaming into the tub, and felt the story open up behind your ribs like a door you had been waiting all morning to unlock. "Well," you said, settling back on your heels, "compared to how he used to be, sure. Night and day."
Patrick clutched his rescued wrench in one hand and his breakfast in the other.
You glanced toward the cell block, half expecting Daryl to appear by instinct just because someone had spoken his brother's name too many times in a row.
Then you looked back at Patrick. "If you ask Merle, he'll say he's always been compliant."
Carol made a soft, disbelieving noise.
"But I'd say we saw some real change in him when the rest of Woodbury moved in. Merle came with them, and every single person in this prison wondered how long it would take before somebody stabbed him." Patrick's eyes widened.
"And honestly?" you said, wringing out one of Daryl's shirts until water streamed between your knuckles.
"It's still a possibility.
Carol leaned her hip against the table nearby, half watching the grill, half watching you with that small, knowing smile she got when she already knew a story but wanted to hear how someone else told it. You dunked the shirt again. "When Merle first came here with the Woodbury people," you said, "he was about as welcome as a suspicious rash."
Carol hummed. "That's nice."
"It is," you smiled. "I'm editing for Patrick."
Patrick blinked. "Oh really you don't have to!"
"Oh, sweetheart," Carol said mildly, "yes, she does."
You flashed her a grin, then looked down into the cloudy water. "It was pretty bad then," you admitted, softer this time. "Not just because Merle was Merle, though God knows that would've been enough. It was everything he'd done before he got here. What he did to Glenn. How he was complicit in what the Governor had done. Nobody wanted to give him a second chance, even though he was trying to start over for his brother."
Patrick's expression shifted, the hero-worship of the story dulling into something more thoughtful. He was young, but not so young he didn't understand what people did when they were scared
Carol's eyes flicked toward the cell block. "Rick let him stay because Daryl vouched for him."
"He's probably gonna start regretting that any day now if he hasn't already," you chuckled.
From somewhere behind you came the crunch of jerky.
Merle had returned at some point, standing a few feet away with a fistful of Patrick's stolen tools dangling from one hand and his strip of jerky in the other, wearing the offended expression of a man walking in on his own eulogy. "Y'all tellin' lies about me?" he asked.
"Totally, we were just saying how sweet you are," you smiled, reaching one wet hand out for the tools.
Merle looked at you, then at Carol, then apparently decided to let it go, dropping the tools into your hand. Patrick made a soft, happy sound as you passed them over.
"I was plenty welcome" Merle said with a mouthful of jerky
"You were nearly impaled almost every day for about a week."
"Nearly don't count," Merle spat, lowering himself onto an overturned bucket like a man settling in for a theatre. "Go on then, Mrs. Dixon. Tell it right."
You looked at Patrick. "See? This is how it starts. You give him a chair, suddenly he thinks he's part of the narrative."
"I am too."
"You're a symptom."
Patrick choked on a laugh and tried to disguise it by shovelling more food into his mouth, and Merle grinned at him with too many teeth.
You wrung the shirt again, and the prison courtyard blurred in your mind—not disappearing exactly, but thinning. The heat, the tubs, the smell of breakfast and old concrete slipped sideways, and you were back there again, in those first days after Woodburywas no more, when the prison felt crowded for a change, and above all fragile, like one wrong word could crack it open.
The Woodbury people had come in with dust on their shoes and fear in their eyes.
They arrived in a big school bus: old people with bags clutched to their chests, mothers shepherding children, people who didn’t know where to put their hands when they weren’t holding guns. They walked through the gates slowly, staring at the prison like it was both salvation and a... well a prison sentence. The cell block swallowed them in echoes. Every cough, every footstep, every low murmur bounced off concrete and came back bigger.
And then there was Merle. He didn’t exactly arrive like a refugee. That mantle never suited him.
He swaggered in with his metal hand catching the light, chin up, mouth already shaped around some comment nobody wanted to hear. He looked around the prison as if judging the accommodations. You remembered the way the air changed when people saw him. Glenn had gone still. Maggie’s hand had found his arm. Rick’s jaw locked. Michonne watched Merle with the quiet, measuring focus of a woman deciding how fast she could turn him into a human kebab.
And then there was Daryl. He stood near the gates with his crossbow in his hand, looking like every muscle in his body had been pulled too tight and tied off. Merle was beside him, alive and louder than ever, taking up space the way Merle always did, and Daryl should have looked relieved. Maybe a small part of him was. Maybe some old, bruised, loyal part of him still couldn’t believe his brother was standing there breathing after all.
But when his eyes found yours across the yard, the relief briefly slipped — just long enough for you to see the thing he was trying not to show: that being near Merle did not make him whole the way people seemed to think it would. It dragged him backwards. It tugged at a version of him he had already outgrown without realising it, and you could see him fighting not to look like he needed you while needing you so badly it sat in his face like hunger.
You hadn’t gone to him right away — that part was harder than you wanted to admit. Every part of you wanted to cross that yard and launch yourself into his arms. But Merle had been his brother before you were anything. So you gave them space. Not because you liked Merle at all. You had eyes, and more importantly, ears.
You gave them space because you trusted Daryl, and because you loved him enough not to tug him back the second someone threatened to take up more of his time than you did.
For a while, you let Merle have him. Or you tried to.
They went toward the woods together that first morning, Merle talking with his whole body like the trees themselves needed to hear him, while Daryl walked beside him in that quiet, head-down way that made your stomach twist. It wasn’t resignation exactly. Habit, maybe. Muscle memory. The way his shoulders rounded like he was making himself smaller without thinking.
You had watched from the yard with a basket of pig feed tucked under one arm, pretending very badly not to watch. Merle kept leaning in, nudging him, running his mouth with that big ugly grin, and Daryl’s mouth twitched once like something almost funny had gotten through.
Your heart pinched before you could stop it. You hated Merle a little for earning even that much from him. Then you hated yourself for hating it, because God, what kind of woman got jealous of a man's brother after he had just come back from the dead?
Apparently, you.
Carol found you standing there, tossing handfuls of feed over the wrong side of the little pen while the pigs stared at you like you were the slow one. "He'll come back," she had said
"I know," you sighed, staring hopelessly. "I just-wait, who?"
Carol's mouth curved, small and merciless. She didn't bother pretending she believed you. Most people in the prison had the decency to act like they hadn't noticed you were head over heels for Daryl Dixon; Carol had never wasted decency where accuracy would do. She only nodded toward the woods. "Your pig feed's on the outside."
You looked down - half the feed was, in fact, scattered uselessly beyond the fence. "Shit."
Carol chuckled and went back to whatever she had been doing, leaving you to feed the pig's.
He did come back, of course. Daryl always came back.
That was the thing Merle didn't seem to understand. He seemed to think his return would peel everything else away. As if the prison, the group, the watches, the dinners, the quiet conversations over maps and guns had all been temporary scenery. As if Daryl had simply been waiting for his brother to come back so he could climb into the old skin and pretend it still fit.
But it didn't fit. Not anymore.
You could see Daryl trying. That was the part that hurt. He would stand with Merle because loyalty was carved into him too deep to dig out. He would hunt with him, share a smoke with him, listen when Merle talked too loud and too long about all the things that made him angry. But Daryl's attention would always start drifting sooner or later. His eyes would catch on the cell block doors. On the fence line. On the watch towers. On the places you usually were when you were not beside him.
Merle would ask him to hunt the next morning, and Daryl would say he had fence duty.
Merle would ask him to check the east perimeter, and Daryl would say Rick already had him on the west.
If Merle wanted him on a run, Daryl would tell him Glenn needed backup.
If Merle wanted him to sit around drinking and complaining about everyone in earshot, Daryl would mutter that he was tired and busy himself with bolts that had already sharpened twice. Which was funny. because Darvl was alwavs tired. Tiredness had never stopped him before.
The truth was simpler. He wanted you.
He wanted you in that stubborn, silent, Daryl way that pretended not to be wanting at all. He wanted you so badly he got irritated by it. You could see it in the way he avoided looking at you when Merle was close, as if not looking somehow made it less obvious, as if the effort did not put every feeling he had right there in the hard line of his jaw. He wanted you in the way he lingered near the gates when he knew you were gone for the day, acting like he was checking the latch twenty times or so. He wanted you in the way he pretended not to hear your voice and still turned toward it every time. He wanted you in the way he got meaner when he had gone too many hours without you, all sharp edges and short answers until you passed close enough for your fingers to brush his and his whole body seemed to remember how to function again.
And because he was Daryl, he acted like none of it mattered. Like you were simply neighbours who occasionally made small talk about the weather. But you knew him by then. You knew the quiet language of him.
If he stopped at your shoulder and said, “You good?” like it was nothing, that was ‘I missed you’. If he glanced at your plate before his own, that was worry .If he stood too close while pretending to look past you, that was the closest thing to a confession he could manage with Merle watching.
And when he did finally get you alone—behind the watchtowers, in the narrow shadow between cell blocks, in the brief, breathless privacy of your curtain pulled shut—he stopped pretending so abruptly it almost hurt.
His hands would find you before his mouth did, rough and careful all at once, fingers at your waist, your wrist, the nape of your neck, like he was checking that you were still there and forgiving him for acting like a stranger for the whole day. He would kiss you like a man starving quietly in public all day, forehead pressed to yours after, breathing through the embarrassment of having wanted anything that much.“Missed me?” you’d tease, soft enough not to wound.
He would scoff, look away and deny it falt out, but his thumb would keep moving over your hip, slow and unconscious, and his body would stay curved around yours like the answer had already betrayed him.
That was the Daryl Merle had come back to. Not soft or weak, more the opposite. Just… loved.
And worse, loving back.
And Merle had noticed. That was the thing about him nobody ever liked giving him credit for. For all the noise he made, for all the crude jokes and handsy gestures and mouth-running that made people want to shove him headfirst into a walker pit, Merle Dixon saw more than he let on.
He saw the way Daryl came back from you different - steadier. Which was worse, somehow.
Daryl used to come back from a fight buzzing with it, jaw tight, eyes mean, shoulders still squared like he was waiting for the next swing. Merle knew that version of him. Hell, Merle had helped build that version of him piece by piece, ugly brick by ugly brick, because that was how Dixon boys survived. You kept your fists up, kept your head down, and if someone mistook you for an easy target, you made them curse the day they were born.
But after you, Daryl came back quieter.
And angrier about being quieter.
Like peace itself had personally insulted him.
He could still be dragged back into old habits, sure. Merle could still get under his skin if he dug hard enough, could still make that vein in his neck jump, could still pull a snarl out of him with the right words at the right time. But it never lasted the way it used to. Daryl would flare up, all teeth and temper, and then something in him would twitch sideways, like he remembered there was somewhere else he would rather be.
Merle saw that too - the way his baby brother kept looking past him across the yard, searching without meaning to. Saw how his eyes snagged on certain corners of the prison, like maybe you might step out from behind them. Saw how Daryl started listening for one voice under all the others.
Predictably, Merle initially thought the prison had made him soft.
"Told ya," Merle drawled one afternoon, sprawled on the steps like he owned them while Daryl sat a few feet away, sharpening a bolt with slow, mean strokes. "This place done made ya softer than cotton candy in the rain.""
Daryl didn't look up. "Don't got a soft bone in me."
“Sure, sure.” Merle picked at his teeth with his thumbnail, eyes bright with boredom and malice. “That why you got yourself a chore chart now? Little supper bell? Folks callin’ your name all sweet like they expect you to come skippin’?”
Daryl's hand dragged the blade down the bolt again. Shhk.
"Got that sheriff starin' at ya like you're his favourite huntin' dog."
The blade stopped for half a second, but you couldn't miss it. Merle's grin spread slow; "I hit a nerve yet?"
Daryl kept his eyes on the bolt. "Ain't in the mood."
"You ever are?"
"Merle.
"What?" Merle lifted his hand, all innocence, which looked especially stupid on him. "I'm just sayin'. You used to have some bite in ya, baby brother. Now look at ya. Eatin' at a full table. Everyone sayin' hi to ya like yer a damn celerity. Letting folks pat ya on the back like you some lap dog."
Daryl finally looked up. It wasn't much. Just a lift of his eyes from beneath the curtain of his hair, blue and flat and mean enough to make most men rethink their choice of words. Merle, unfortunately, had never rethought anything in his life.
"Keep talkin' and you'll be left with no hands," Daryl said, low. "Have fun wipin' yur ass then."
Merle laughed, delighted. That was more like it. That was the brother he knew, the little stray dog with blood in his mouth, the one Merle could poke and prod and rile up until the whole world remembered the Dixons weren't house pets - they were supposed to sleep outside.
But the laugh didn't last as long as it should have. Daryl looked away, across the yard, and Merle followed his gaze.
Daryl tried not to look - he really did - but it was not use the second Daryl's eyes found you across the yard. You were standing by the tables with Maggie and Beth, sleeves shoved up, hair tied back messily from the heat, sunlight catching on the sweat at your throat and along your collarbones until his own went dry as dust. Death Valley dry. End-of-the-world dry. You were laughing at something Carl said, your whole face breaking open with it, bright and warm and sharp enough to hurt, then you reached out and ruffled the kid's hair just to annoy him, grinning wider when he ducked away and tried to act offended.
And Christ, that was the thing about you—you made everything else disappear. The yard, the fences, the dead groaning beyond them, Merle’s voice scraping at his ear trying to get his attention, the weight of the crossbow against his back, all of it just slipped out of focus until there was only you, shining in the middle of all that grey concrete and rusted metal like you had no damn business existing somewhere so ugly. Daryl’s fingers tightened around the bolt in his hand. His chest felt too tight, like something inside him had finally given up pretending it wasn’t yours. Falling for you sounded too soft for what had happened to him. He hadn’t just fallen. He’d gone face-first into asphalt and stayed there, stunned and bleeding and stupid, watching you smile like it was the only thing keeping him breathing. Then Merle snapped his fingers right in front of his face. “Hellooo, baby brother. You in there?” Daryl jerked back like he’d been caught with his hand somewhere it shouldn’t be, jaw clenching, heat crawling up his neck as he looked down at the bolt again and scraped the blade over it harder than necessary. “Shut up,” he muttered, rough and useless, trying to sit there like his blood wasn’t on fire, like his heart didn’t kick against his ribs every time your laugh carried over the yard, like he wasn’t already ruined beyond fixing.
"Disgustin"" Merle said in the present. "Man looked like somebody hit him between the eyes with a shovel."
You wrung out a shirt over the wash tub without looking at him. "That's romantic, Merle. You should write poetry."
Patrick, perched nearby with the rapt attention of a child hearing forbidden adult history, looked between you and Merle like he wasn't sure which one of you was more dangerous.
Carol, standing near the grill now with a metal spatula in hand, didn't even turn around. "Daryl has never looked romantic in his life."
"He did once," Merle said. "Looked constipated after, but the first part was real romantical."
You flicked a sharp spray of wash water at him and caught him right across the cheek.
Patrick's mouth fell open. Merle wiped his face slowly, eyes narrowing.
You smiled sweetly. "Sorry. Hand slipped."
"Woman, one of these days-"
"You'll what?"
His mouth opened - then closed. Before his remarkable character journey he probably would've said something sexist or racist or better yet a combination, but he didn't - people do change.
Carol finally glanced over, dry as old leaves. "Smartest thing you've done all morning."
You plunged both hands back into the tub, the water cloudy with soap and prison dust, your knuckles bumping against rough fabric beneath the surface. "For the record, Daryl was not a whipped dog" Merle snorted. "Please. Baby brother was totally a whipped dog — floatin' around this yard like somebody gave him a biscuit and scratched behind his ears."
"If Daryl's a whipped dog," you said, "then what does that make you hmm? Cujo?"
Merle gave you the finger without missing a beat and you blew him a kiss.
Carol shook her head, but there was a smile tucked into the corner of her mouth.
The thing was, Merle hadn't pinned it on you right away. That was the funny part.
He noticed Daryl was different, yes. He noticed the vanishing. The excuses. The way Daryl started slipping away after dinner instead of letting Merle drag him into some miserable corner of the prison. He noticed how Daryl suddenly cared whether his hands were clean, which frankly alarmed Merle more than any walker herd ever had. He noticed how his brother got twitchy about certain corridors in the cell block, like Merle stepping too close to them might trigger a damn landmine.
He noticed the clothes, too. Daryl had never cared much about his things before. Not beyond knowing what belonged to him and making damn sure took it. But now he was worse. Touch his pack and he snapped. Move his blanket and he got pissy about it. Pick up one of his shirts and he looked ready to bite through bone.
Naturally, Merle assumed possession first. Then early mid-life crisis. Then onset personality disorder. You, somehow, did not make the top three.
"He thought Daryl was possessed," you told Patrick.
Merle jabbed a finger at you. "I said influenced."
"You said possessed"
"I was speakin' metaphorical."
"You asked Hershel if there were Catholic supplies in the pantry."
Patrick's eyes went huge; Carol's spatula paused over the grill.
Merle shifted on his bucket. "Well, excuse me for explorin' all avenues."
"You asked if we had holy water."
"Did we?"
"No."
"Then see? We gotta be prepared for anything these days."
You laughed despite yourself, shaking your head as you dragged another shirt from the water. "Before he figured it out, he accused half the prison."
"I did no such thing."
"You accused Carol."
Carol turned around then, one brow raised. Merle panicked, immediately pointing at you. "Now that right there was a misunderstandin"." But Carol’s expression didn’t move. “Say one more thing and I’ll shove your face onto this grill.”
Patrick looked like he was fighting for his life not to laugh. You leaned closer to him, lowering your voice like you were sharing state secrets. "Then he accused Michonne."
Patrick's eyes snapped back to Merle.
Merle threw his hand up. "He talked to her!"
"Daryl talks to people," Carol said.
"Barely" Merle shot back. "And not for free."
You grinned. "Michonne said maybe three words to him and Merle acted like he'd caught them climbing out of a motel window."
"Woman had a sword," Merle said, as if that explained everything. "Daryl's always had poor impulse control."
"You are his impulse control problem."
Merle pointed the jerky at you again. "Careful, 'mana." The word came out of his mouth with all the grace of a boot through a screen door, mangled and smug and somehow still recognisable. Patrick blinked. "What does that mean?"
You glared at Merle for a few more seconds before answering. "It means sister," you said, wringing the shirt tighter than necessary.
Patrick brightened. "So he calls you that because of Daryl?"
Merle's grin returned, slow and mean and pleased with itself. "Nah. I call her that 'cause it makes her wanna drown me in the laundry."
"It does," you said.
"She loves it"
"Hate it," you corrected.
But back then, before the nickname, before the arguments got familiar enough to stop feeling like threats, before Merle figured out that you were the reason Daryl kept sneaking off, he had gone through suspects like a man with a personal vendetta against logic. He suspected Maggie for ten horrifying minutes. This ended when Glenn happened to pass by and overhear Merle suggest, in terms nobody needed repeated, that Daryl had been “sniffin’ around another man’s woman.” Glenn stopped so abruptly he nearly walked into a wall. So Merle took that as proof of innocence, mostly because Glenn looked too confused to be a cuck.
Then he suspected Beth because she smiled at Daryl once and Daryl didn't immediately flee the area, which, in Merle's mind, counted as a full seduction. "Beth smiles at everybody," Carol said.
"Exactly." Merle replied. "Suspicious"
You rolled your eyes. "You were really working a case huh? Detective Dixon ready for duty." Merle shrugged. "And yet, who figured it out?"
"You did," you admitted, because unfortunately, he had. You pointed one wet finger at him. "By accident."
"Still counts."
"After accusing everyone in a fifty-foot radius."
"Good detectin' requires a wide net."
And he took that quite seriously because Merle during one particularly deranged hour, suggested Rick.
You hadn't been there for that one, but Daryl later told you with the exhausted expression of a someone who had lived through war and was preparing for a second one because obviously you would never let him hear the end of this. Suffice to say a little pee came out when he told you because of how hard you laughed.
Merle, according to Daryl, had leaned in close on the stairs one night and said; "if it's the sheriff, I ain't judgin. I mean, I am, but mostly 'cause he looks like he cries after"
Daryl had nearly thrown him over the railing.
Carol turned her face toward the grill, shoulders shaking, one hand lifted to her mouth like she was preserving her dignity through force alone. Merle looked insufferably proud of himself.
"What? Was 'bout as likely as him datin' the hot Latina chick."
Before you could bite back, a shadow moved behind you.
You hadn’t heard Daryl come up behind you — one second there was only the slap of wet laundry in the tub; the next, two hands landed at your waist and squeezed.
You yelped so hard the shirt in your hands slapped back into the tub and launched a grey sheet of wash water, splashing the both of you.
For one beautiful, suspended second, the whole courtyard seemed to notice at once. The hiss of Carol’s grill went loud in the quiet. Somewhere by the fence, a spear punched through a walker skull with a wet crack. Patrick froze with his wrench hugged to his ribs, eyes huge. Glenn near by had stopped chewing whatever second breakfast he sneaked past Carol.
Daryl looked down at the dark splash spreading across the front of his shirt, slow and unimpressed. Then he looked up at you from under the damp pieces of hair falling over his brow, and the flatness of his stare would have been more effective if his hands weren’t still planted warm at your waist.
You pressed a hand to your heart, breath caught somewhere between fright and laughter. “¿Qué coño te pasa?” you hissed through your teeth.
His mouth twitched but he would probably deny it under oath. One corner betrayed him, small and quick, as his thumbs shifted against your sides through the damp cotton of your shirt. “Yer jumpy this mornin’,” he muttered.
“You sneak up on innocent, defenceless women, they are going to jump, genius.”
His eyes moved over you once, head to toe, with the dry skepticism of a man who had seen you threaten his brother more times than he could count. “Don’t see none in these parts.”
Smartass.
You meant to be offended and elbow him; make a whole production of it because there was an audience and Daryl deserved to suffer for scaring you half out of your skin. But before you could twist away, his arms slid farther around you, forearms settling across your chest, pulling your back into the solid line of him like it was the most natural thing in the world.
The moment his chest met your shoulders, the heat of him sun-warmed from fence work and faintly damp with sweat, something in you softened on instinct. You sank back into him with a little sway, your shoulder blades fitting against, his chin hovering near your temple as if he had only come over to annoy you and somehow ended up holding you like you’re about to make a run for it. His arms were firm without trapping you, casual enough to look careless, but you felt the way his hands settled around you, the way his fingers pressed once at your dewy skin like a silent check-in wasn’t ‘casual’.
Now cocooned, you tipped your head back enough to glare at him from under your lashes. “We’re wet now.”
“Your fault,” he grumbled right back at you.
“See that right there,” Merle announced, pointing his jerky at the two of you, “ is proof that he’s locked down tight.”
“It’s not like we’re married,” you said automatically.
Glenn looked at the two of you like the answer was obvious, the way Daryl’s showed no sign of letting go, you with your back tucked neatly into his chest. It was so obvious that it seemed like a trick for him to walk right into - so he kept his mouth shut.
You felt Daryl notice all of them staring. His body went a fraction more rigid behind you, embarrassment tightening through his shoulders, but he didn’t let go. And once upon a time, that would’ve made him vanish in a heart beat. Now he only cleared his throat, shifted his grip as if he had been doing something purely practical.
He had a coil of rope slung over one shoulder, hair damp at his temples from fence work, dirt smudged along the edge of his jaw where he’d probably swiped his wrist without thinking. He looked like he had come over meaning to drop off supplies and had walked directly into a public hearing about his personal life.
His gaze moved across the gathered crowd: Patrick clutching his wrench, Carol at the grill, Merle glowing with terrible purpose, Glenn hovering near the breakfast line with no plate and no excuse because he had already eaten twice, and two people by the beans who were pretending not to listen in.
But you were more focused on the fat streak of dirt on his face. Had this fucker gone face-first into the yard or something?
“Ven aquí,” you muttered, already reaching for him.
Daryl’s attention snapped to you a half-second too late. “What?”
“Aquí, estás sucio.”
He barely had time to squint before you licked your thumb and caught his chin between your fingers.
His whole body went rigid. “Nah—hey—”
“Quiet.”
“Don’t start with that.”
“Dije que se callara!”
You pulled his face closer, thumb pressing to the smudge with determined, merciless affection. Daryl tried to turn away, but you had his chin trapped, and worse, you had an audience. Merle’s grin spread so wide it threatened to split his face. Glenn had stopped mid-step near the table, eyes flicking between you and Daryl like he had accidentally wandered into something not meant for his eyes. Patrick, poor curious Patrick, looked as if someone had handed him a controversial book and told him every page was about the Dixons. Carol didn’t even bother hiding her smile. And Daryl saw all of them seeing, and that was when the tips of his ears went red.
“Woman,” he warned under his breath.
“You have half the courtyard on your face.”
“Been worse.”
“That is not the argument you think it is.”
You rubbed harder, licking your thumb again when the dirt refused to surrender. Daryl made a low, humiliated sound in the back of his throat and tried to lean away, but you just followed him without missing a beat, hand firm on his jaw like you were tending to a particularly difficult child. He could have stopped you, everyone knew he could have. That was the funniest part. Daryl Dixon, crossbow on his back and blood under his nails, could drop a walker from fifty yards and skin a squirrel before breakfast without breaking a sweat, but apparently he could not survive his woman cleaning his face in public.
Merle slapped his knee. “Oh, this is better than church.”
Daryl’s eyes cut toward him. “Get ‘er off me.”
“Yur on your own baby brother.”
“You’re gonna be eatin’ dirt in a sec.”
“With your mama cleanin’ your cheek? Good luck with that one.”
You pinched Daryl’s chin a little tighter, turning his face back to you. “ Deja de moverte.”
“I ain’t movin’.”
“You’re squirming.”
“I don’t squirm.”
“You’re squirming right now.”
Glenn, very unwisely, made a sound that might have been a laugh. Daryl’s glare shifted to him and Glenn immediately looked at the ground. “Nope. Didn’t see anything.”
Patrick lifted one tentative hand, his expression bright with doomed honesty. “For what it’s worth, Mr. Dixon, I think it’s very—”
Daryl’s glare cut him off and Patrick lowered his hand at once. “Never mind.”
You finally got the last of the dirt off, rubbing your thumb over his cheek once more just to be sure. His skin was scratchy beneath your fingers, rough with stubble, his jaw still clenched like he was trying to preserve the final scraps of his dignity by force. You studied your handiwork seriously, tilting his face left, then right. “There,” you said, satisfied. “Hermoso.”
Daryl huffed. “Hands off me, woman.”
But before he could pull back, you tugged him in by the chin and kissed him full on the mouth just to embarrass him more. It wasn’t a sweet quick peck either. A proper, loud, shameless kiss, the kind that landed with enough heat and intention to make Glenn choke on air and Merle howl like he had just won money on a dog fight. Daryl froze for one mortified second, caught between wanting to melt into you and wanting to fake his own death to escape the witnesses. Then his hand twitched at your waist, just barely, betraying him before he could stop it.
You pulled away first, smug as sin. His mouth stayed parted for half a breath. Then he remembered where he was and the red in his ears spread down his neck.
Merle was nearly doubled over on the bucket. “Oh, Lord. Somebody get Hershel. My brother is gonna pass out.”
Daryl rubbed the back of his neck but it did absolutely nothing except make him look more flustered. “Ain’t funny,” he glared at a laughing Carol.
“It is a little funny,” Glenn said.
Daryl pointed at him. “You wanna keep breathin’?”
Glenn nodded quickly, backing away even farther from the group.
You went back to the wash tub as if nothing had happened, dunking the shirt beneath the cloudy water with both hands. “So,” you said brightly, “you wanna know what you missed?”
Daryl stared at you, eyes narrowing with immediate suspicion. “Why?”
“We were talking about you,” you sing-songed,
“That ain’t good.”
Merle wiped at his eyes, still wheezing. “Oh, it’s real good.”
Daryl’s gaze moved from Merle, to Carol, to Glenn, to Patrick, then finally back to you. His expression had gone tight with that specific dread that meant he knew he had walked into something but hadn’t found the trap yet.
Patrick, sweet doomed Patrick, lifted his hand again. “If I may, Mr. Dixon…” He swallowed when Daryl looked at him, but pushed on bravely, voice small and sincere. “I am enjoying this very much.” Patrick’s hand lowered with the slow caution of a man disarming a bomb. “Respectfully.”
Daryl looked to you for an explanation, but you only smiled up at him with all the innocence you had never possessed. His gaze dropped to the shirt in your hands, and his expression changed, a flicker of suspicion followed by something softer. The sort of look he gave ordinary things that had somehow become precious because they now belonged to you too. “That mine?” he asked.
You wrung the shirt slowly, water streaming between your fingers back into the tub. “No. This is the shirt of the other hick I sleep with.”
Merle thought that was hilarious, head tipping back on his bucket and howled like you’d just handed him Christmas. Patrick was shyly enjoying this as if he was a tourist in your life.
“Jesus,” Daryl muttered, dragging a hand down his face.
“He comes later in the story,” Glenn said automatically.
The silence that followed was exquisite. Glenn looked down at the spoon in his hand — as if the spoon itself had spoken through him. “I… don’t know why I said that.”
“You sure you ain’t got somewhere else to be?” Daryl asked.
“No,” Glenn admitted, then gestured weakly toward the breakfast table. “I was… getting breakfast.”
“You’ve been served twice Glenn,” Carol said.
Glenn looked down at his feet. “Right.”
Merle grinned at him. “Pull up a bucket. Story’s gettin’ good.”
Daryl made a low noise and dropped the coil of rope near the fence supplies like it had just pissed him off. He even took two steps away, shoulders turning toward the fence, already pretending he had never intended to stay. You reached back without needing to look at him, one wet hand finding his fingers by memory, and tugged.
It was such a small movement, barely anything. Your damp fingertips hooked around two of his, a quick little pull like punctuation. Daryl looked down at your joined hands. “Estancia,” you said softly. “You can help me with the laundry.”
His jaw worked. You could see the argument assembling itself in his head: fence needed checking, rope needed sorting, Rick probably needed something, literally anything would be better than standing here while Merle collected blackmail material.“My shirts don’t need wahsin’ but fine,” he muttered.
“Oh they do,” you said, turning back to the laundry, still holding his fingers. “Baby your clothes were so stinky yesterday I thought a skunk had gotten you.”
When Carol made a delighted sound into her cup Daryl knew he should have left just to prove a point.
Instead, after a long second of pretending the matter was still under review, he crouched beside the wash tub and reached into the basket. He grabbed one of his shirts, shook it out with a snap, and plunged it into the soapy water. “You’re doin’ it wrong,” he grumbled.
“I am washing clothes, not performing surgery.”
“You twist ’em too much, stretches ’em out.”
You slowly turned your head. “When have you ever done laundry?”
He shot you a look from under his hair. “I know things.”
“You know blood trails and squirrel anatomy.”
“And laundry.”
“You’d wear the same shirt for 2 weeks if wasn’t for me,” you deadpanned.
“Maybe I’m breakin’ ‘em in,” Daryl shrugged. Then he wrung the shirt out with unnecessary force, which was somehow more annoying than if he had been bad at it. Water running down over his hands, catching in the small scars across his knuckles. His knee bumped yours once as he shifted closer, and he stayed there, close enough that his shoulder brushed your arm every time he moved. Grumbling. Helping. Pretending the two were not related.
Merle leaned toward Patrick and stage-whispered loudly enough for the fence crew to hear, “See, this is where it all went wrong for him. Used to be a perfectly miserable bastard.”
Daryl flicked wash water at him without looking.
Merle jerked his boot back. “Hey — you cut that out,” he barked. At this rate he’ll probably be dripping with soapy water by the end of this ‘story-time for degenerates’. So really it was more of a car wash than a story time at all. Merle was about as durable as a four by four so yeah — car wash.
Merle watched the two of you sat next to each other with the smug satisfaction — bickering about laundry skills and nudging each other like it could wipe the grin of the other’s face but only proved to make it prominent. But what he was smug about you couldn’t tell. Maybe it was that he was right about the two of you; or maybe it was that he was glad he was wrong about the so-called Dixon curse; because yeah, he was. Dixons could in fact love, and maybe harder than anybody. Daryl was living proof.
“So,” you said, clearing your throat like you were having a serious discussion and not elbow-deep in laundry, “where were we? Oh yeah, Merle took ages to figure it out.”
Merle scoffed and leaned back on his bucket, jerky caught between his teeth, wearing the expression of a smacked ass. “I was gatherin’ evidence.”
“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” you said under your breath and you and Daryl shared a sneaky look.
Around you, the courtyard had settled into that lazy late-morning rhythm where everyone was still working but somehow also listening. The fence crew pushed at the walkers in a steady, distant beat; Glenn had drifted closer, no longer pretending he wasn’t listening in, and Patrick sat near the wash tubs with his wrench across his knees like he had sneaked into the movie theatre without a ticket.
“The point,” you said, reaching into the basket for another shirt, “is that Merle knew Daryl had someone. He just couldn’t make his brain land on the obvious answer.”
Patrick looked from you to Daryl to Merle, his brow pinched with the kind of honest confusion only a kid could have when discussing the topic of relationships “Why not?”
For once, Merle did not answer right away. That was what made you look up.
Merle Dixon was a man who filled silence like he was afraid of what might crawl out of it. If a room went quiet, he threw something crude into the middle and watched everyone scatter. But now he only chewed slower, eyes sliding away toward the fence like the chain links had suddenly become fascinating.
Daryl noticed the strangeness of it too. His hand had gone still beside yours in the water, knuckles half-submerged, sleeves shoved to his elbows. He didn’t look at Merle — instead he stayed looking down at the cloudy surface, jaw working, mouth pressed into that thin, stubborn line he got when he already knew what answer was coming and hated that everyone else was about to hear it.
You glanced between them. “Oh, come on,” you said, trying to keep it light, because that was usually the safest way to touch something testy in front of Merle. “Why didn’t you figure out it was me? I thought Daryl picking up Spanish wouldve given it right away.”
Merle shrugged, “thought he was just gettin’ good at guessing.”
Carol scoffed so hard she nearly lost her grip on the spatula. “Sure, Daryl knowing Spanish gave it away.”
You turned to her. “That wasn’t necessary, but thanks.”
“Yeah, him suddenly knowing Spanish and you sporting new hickeys everyday. Very subtle.”
Glenn, who had picked the worst possible moment to scoot even closer, stopped dead and became intensely interested in the dirt by his boot.
Daryl lowered his head, hair falling forward around his reddening face. He was being accused of something he was absolutely guilty of, so now was the time to pretend everyone wasn’t looking at him. “Why would ya say that?” he huffed, defeated.
Carol’s face stayed mild as milk. “I didn’t say where they were.”
Merle slapped his knee. “Aw, now this is breakfast.”
You covered your face for half a second, not because you were ashamed exactly, but because apparently half the prison had been watching you and Daryl behave like idiots for weeks and had politely let you believe you were masterminds of deception. “Okay,” you said through your fingers. “Some of those were not hickeys.”
Daryl’s head snapped toward you. “What?” you said to him, lowering your hands. “Some were bruises.”
Daryl’s expression changed in an instant, the embarrassment burning clean off him. His brows pulled together, and he leaned a fraction closer like he could physically put himself between you and the implication you had just accidentally dropped at everyone’s feet. “Don’t say it like that,” he said.
“Wait, what? Oh—“ You finally put two and two together, and it was awful. Your mouth opened, then closed. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know what ya meant.” His voice was low, but there was a hard edge under it now, enough to make Merle’s grin twitch smaller.
Because yes, some of them had been bruises (like twenty five percent), but completely totally innocent. A shoulder knocked against a supply shelf, a hip caught on the bedframe because neither of you had any patience once the cell door shut. Your thigh marked by the corner of a table after Daryl had dragged you toward him with more hunger than coordination. Stupid clumsy bruises, the kind that made you roll your eyes in the morning and were kissed better by Daryl while grumbled about how you needed to be more careful. But said out loud, like that? yikes.
You winced. “Yeah. No. That sounded horrible.”
Daryl huffed through his nose, still looking faintly murderous on behalf of a version of himself that didn’t exist and never would. “You could’ve said anything else, and you went with that?”
“I was trying to defend you.”
“By makin’ me sound like I beat ma woman?”
“I panicked!”
“You’re terrible under pressure.”
“I am fantastic under pressure… Just not this pressure.”
Glenn lifted one hand weakly. “For what it’s worth, nobody thought—”
Daryl panned to him again.
Glenn dropped the hand. “Never mind.”
You cleared your throat, heat crawling up your neck now for an entirely different reason. “Okay. We’re gonna drop this before I somehow make this worse.”
You grabbed another shirt from the basket and wrung it out. “Seriously — what was it about me that made you cross me off the list?”
Merle leaned forward, that guilty grin already trying to sharpen itself back into something useful, but he still was reluctant to answer. That made your stomach pull tight before you could stop it.
It was ridiculous, maybe, to care. You knew how solid you and Daryl were, but still, something about Merle’s hesitation caught under your ribs.
“Just say it,” Daryl said. The words were quiet. Not angry exactly, but they landed heavier than the banter.
You looked at Daryl, then back at Merle, who rubbed at his jaw with the back of his hand, the metal one hanging loose over his knee. “Fine,” Merle said at last, voice rougher than usual. “Didn’t see you two bein’ a match, all right?”
The answer sat there between you. You had braced for something vulgar. Something about your ass, maybe, or Daryl’s complete lack of game, or some joke about you needing your head checked for choosing the younger Dixon. Something you could roll your eyes at and swat away. But this was blunt, straight to the point, no sugar coating at all. “A match?” you repeated.
Merle shifted on the bucket. “Yeah. A match.”
You looked down at yourself, then at Daryl, bewildered despite the absurdity of it. “Why?”
Daryl’s eyes flicked to you. There it was: the thing he hated. Not Merle’s answer, but your face after hearing it. The little pull around your mouth. The quick blink. The way your shoulders set, like you were trying to turn hurt into attitude, before anyone noticed the difference.
His hand slowly moved under the water, his fingers brushing the side of your wrist, hidden beneath the cloudy soap, as if for half a second it really was only the two of you. “Hey,” he said quietly.
When you first looked at him his eyes darted away, then came back, blue and uncertain and gentler than he probably meant them to be in front of everyone. “Ain’t like that,” he muttered.
Your brows pulled together. “Like what?”
“Like it means somethin’ bad.” He swallowed, thumb dragging once over your wet wrist. “People not seein’ it. Don’t mean they knew nothin’.”
That softened something in your chest and annoyed you at the same time, because you didn’t want to be comforted. You wanted to be offended. You wanted to drag the whole yard into court and make them explain, one by one, why exactly they thought the two of you didn’t make sense. Because how could they not see it? How could they look at Daryl and not see what you saw?
The steadiness under the rough edges. The loyalty so deep it scared him. The quiet intelligence in the way he read a room, a trail, a person’s fear. The tenderness he hid like contraband. The way his hands, those same hands everyone knew could kill, could be so careful when they touched you that it sometimes made your throat ache.
And how could they look at you and think you didn’t belong beside him? As if love had rules and only applied to certain people. Like you had to match on paper to fit in the places that mattered.
Your voice came out smaller than you intended. “I just don’t understand why it was so hard to believe.”
Daryl’s face tightened, and he leaned a little closer, enough that his shoulder brushed yours, enough that you were wrapped in the musk of him. Around you, the yard seemed to know better than to make too much noise. Even Merle, miraculously, kept his mouth shut.
Daryl worked his jaw once before speaking. “’Cause people are stupid,” he said.
He kept going, rougher now, pushing through it because your feelings were on the line and that mattered more than his embarrassment.
“They see you and they think… I dunno.” His eyes dropped, then lifted again. “They see bubbly. Pretty. Bossy.”
“I am not bossy.”
He gave you a look.
“Careful,” you said, narrowing your eyes.
His mouth twitched despite himself. “See?”
You would have splashed him if his thumb hadn’t still been stroking the inside of your wrist. “They see you huggin’ everyone like you’re everyone’s best friend,” he continued, quieter. “Yellin’ in Spanish when somethin’ gets under your skin. Feedin’ people like you want their stomachs to explode. Laughin’ so big ya might pass out. Centre of attention every room you walk into.”
Your throat tightened when he looked down at your hands again. “And they see me,” he said, voice scraping lower, “and they think I ain’t built for that.”
He shrugged one shoulder, uncomfortable now, but he didn’t pull away.
“Maybe on paper we don’t make much sense,” he said. “But I don’t give a shit about paper.”
Something in you gave. You leaned your shoulder into his, pressing there until he accepted the weight. “No,” you said, voice still a little wounded but warmer now. “We make sense.”
Daryl looked at you then. Really looked.
And in that look was the whole secret of him: the man who didn’t know how to say big things without flinching, but still tried when you needed him to. “Yeah,” he said, barely above a rasp. “We do.”
For half a breath, the courtyard let the tenderness sit.
Patrick, who had probably expected a funny story about managing Merle and the troubles of house-training him, had instead stumbled onto something incredibly soft and tender, sat very still with his wrench in his lap.
Then Merle, because he was Merle and tenderness made him break out in hives, raised his hand. “Now hold on,” he said. “When I said I didn’t see the match, I mostly meant she’s way hotter than you.”
Daryl’s head turned slowly, his mouth flattening into a line as he stared at his brother. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? Argue? Thank him? Push him off the bucket?
Merle spread both hands, delighted to have found safer territory, which for Merle meant the ground was still actively on fire but at least everyone was laughing. “What? We all thinkin’ it.”
“Merle,” Carol warned, though she was smiling into her cup. Patrick looked like he was trying very hard not to agree and also trying very hard not to stay out of harms way. Glenn, unfortunately, made the grave tactical error of nodding before catching himself halfway through. “I mean—objectively— you know what, never mind.”
“Wise choice,” Daryl grumbled.
You, however, brightened instantly. “Oh.” You sat back on your heels, wringing water from the shirt with renewed dignity. “So this was about looks?”
Merle barked a laugh. “Course it was about looks. What’d you think, I was questionin’ your birth signs or somethin’?”
Daryl glanced at you from beneath his hair, and there was just enough trouble in his eyes to make you suspicious. “He’s got a point,” he said. “Was just after your looks.”
You turned to him slowly, smiling with murder tucked neatly behind your teeth. “Aww, baby. That’s so sweet.”
His mouth twitched. “Ain’t sayin’ I’m proud of it.”
“You better not be saying anything else if you want to keep that pretty face.”
Merle nearly wheezed. “Pretty face? Now I know love done made you blind.”
You looked Daryl over then. Really looked, making a performance of it just because you felt his shoulders tense the second your gaze started moving. Messy hair, sunburnt bridge of his nose, strong line of his shoulders beneath the sleeveless shirt, dirt under his nails, arms built from years of bowstring and hard living. The scowl that had never once scared you the way he clearly wished it would. The mouth currently pressed into a warning line because he knew you too well and could already feel you becoming a problem.
“Hmmm,” you said.
Daryl’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t.”
You smiled slowly. “I don’t know, guys. I think there might be something wrong with your eyes.”
Carol turned back toward the grill, already amused. “Here we go.”
“I mean, are we seeing the same man?”
“You’re on thin ice,” Daryl warned.
You ignored him, because ignoring Daryl when he used that voice was one of your most cherished hobbies. “Because I’m looking, and frankly—” Your hand drifted, casual as a saint, toward his backside.
Daryl caught your wrist without even looking, and the speed of it was honestly insulting. “Nope.”
You gasped. “I wasn’t doing anything.”
“Ya were about to.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know you.”
Merle howled. “Oh, she was goin’ for it!”
You tried to tug your wrist free, grinning despite yourself. “I was simply admiring with touch.”
Daryl leaned closer, his voice dropping into that stern rasp that never worked on you and absolutely should have. “Quit that. Get back to laundry.”
Your mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”
He released your wrist, reached past you for a pair of dirty jeans from the basket, and with the same calm audacity of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, gave your backside one firm, discreet pat before dropping the jeans into your lap. “Laundry,” he said.
You stared at him, heat rushing up your neck as the entire yard seemed to inhale around you. “You are so dead.”
He picked up another shirt and casually dunked it into the tub beside you. “Mm-hm.”
Merle grinned, relieved to be back on familiar, terrible ground. “See, baby brother, I was bein’ realistic. She’s all fire and hips and big hair, and you was skulkin’ around like an ugly girl at prom.”
Daryl’s jaw tightened, though the corner of his mouth still wanted to betray him because you were staring at him like he had just won a prize. “Why you still runnin’ your damn mouth?”
“You got charm, I’ll give ya that,” Merle added quickly, lifting a hand as if that might save him. “A damp sorta charm. Nowhere near as charming as I am, obviously, but ya made it work.”
Daryl looked him up and down, then leaned back over the wash tub with the faintest, meanest little twitch of a smile. “Oh yeah?” he said. “Where’s your girl then?”
Glenn made a noise like he had been physically punched by joy, Carol turned away with her shoulders shaking, and Patrick slapped both hands over his mouth. You stared at Daryl, utterly delighted.
Merle’s grin died a noble and immediate death. Daryl only wrung out the shirt in his hands, smug bastard that he was, and refused to look at anyone while victory settled over him like sunlight.
Daryl barely hid his proud face. You turned to him, eyes bright and ready to annoy him again. “A damp sort of charm.”
“Don’t start.” Daryl grabbed the pants from your hands and wrung it out with more force. “Story’s over.”
“It is not,” you said, snatching it back.
“It is for today.”
“No, it is for exactly ten seconds while you recover from being called damp.” You smiled down at the laundry, warm right through despite the grey water, the prison stink, and the walkers groaning against the fence.
That was the thing Merle hadn’t understood at first. He had been looking for a match that made sense from far away. Something easy to categorise. Something obvious enough to fit inside his crude little guesses. But you and Daryl had never been obvious. You had been a thousand small, private things adding up before anyone else learned how to count them. Your touch becoming the only one he allowed. His silence making room for your noise. Your laughter dragging something lighter out of him. His steadiness giving your fire somewhere safe to land. Merle had not seen it because Merle had been looking for the wrong kind of proof. Then again, as he would proudly point out later, you did eventually give him proof. Very loud proof. But that was a different part of the story.
“Can i continue?” You said, finally, arms out. “Is that ok with everyone?”
Merle waved a hand. If he interrupted you one more time you were gonna get violent. “So,” you said, “Merle knew something was going on with Daryl. And I was trying very hard to stay out of it.”
Merle snorted at that. “I was,” you said, pointing a wet finger at him.
“You pointed a gun at me on the second day.”
You opened your mouth to correct him, but immediately closed it. technically that was true…
You remembered hearing Merle before you saw him—cursing like a sailor, a long-range rifle cradled wrong, and a cleaning rod jammed halfway down the barrel like he had tried to stab the problem into submission.
"Piece'a shit won't cycle," he snarled, yanking the charging handle like it insulted his mama. "Goddamn stovepipe-hell with it. Shoulda brought a man's gun."
"You did," you had said, strolling past with your canteen. "You just don't know how to run it."
His head snapped up."Well now, ain't you sweet,” he grinned. “Go on, mamacita, tell me about guns."
You took the rifle out of his hands before he could blink. "Well, to start," you said, fingers already working. "Stop yanking on it. It’s not a slot machine.”
He barked a laugh. "You talk pretty. We done?"
"Not even started."
You tilt the rifle, thumb the mag release so the magazine slaps into your palm, lock the bolt to the rear, sweep the chamber with two quick glances. There it was: a spent casing stovepiped and a live round kissing it like a clingy ex. You hook the brass out with your nail, palm the charging handle, rack it twice, then smack the buttstock against your boot while you pull smoothly, clearing any sticky carbon like magic. You check the extractor claw, flick a flake of carbon off with your thumb, reseat the mag, and slingshot the bolt. The rifle is back together under your hands like it remembers you.
Merle's eyebrows climb. "Well butter my ass and call me a biscuit."
You shoulder the rifle fluidly and sight down the barrel at him. He freezes dead, uncanny blue eyes going bright and mean. For a heartbeat, nobody breathes.
Then you clicked the safety on, spun the rifle butt-first, and shoved it back into his chest. "Relax, Dixon. You'd be a waste of ammo."
He exhaled loudly, then grinned slow, delighted. "Marry me."
"Nah," you say, stepping around him. "I prefer your brother."
He chokes so hard you almost pat his back. "You-what?"
“Don’t worry about it!” You shouted back as you headed off to the watch tower, his eyes definitely glued to your ass.
“Ok, in my defence,” Merle said in the present. “I didnt know you were bangin’ ma baby brother.”
“Deserved a gun in your face for that,” Daryl said before you had the chance.
“Oh, you think so?” Merle sat up, tone all teasing. “I bet your boyfriend, Rick, would say otherwise.”
Daryl plunged his hand into the bottom of the wash tub and threw a sopping sock at his head.
Merle caught it against his shoulder and recoiled. “Aw, hell, woman, you washin’ these or makin’ soup?”
You pointed to the tub. “Shut up or help.”
Merle tossed the sock back and leaned away. “Ain’t ma job to do laundry, woman,” he grumbled.
Before Daryl could tell Merle to watch himself, your head whipped to him; “¿¡Perdón!?” You’re already making a move to get up. “You wanna say that again, puta?”
Daryl didn't even make a move to stop you, but you halted when you saw Merle put his hands up. “Alright, I'm sorry,” he blurted, so quickly it sounded like his mouth was full.
You went back to what you were doing and leaned back the tiniest amount and kept your hands busy in the water.
“So,” Patrick said carefully, looking between all three of you, “when did he figure out it was you?”
Merle leaned forward on his bucket, delighted. “Now that,” he said, “is a better story. Type of story you’ll be tellin’ ya grandbabies.”
“Well,” you breathed. “That took longer than it should have, that’s for sure.”
Patrick leaned forward like you had just announced there would be fireworks.
Daryl did the opposite. He leaned back, eyes already scanning the yard for an escape route. Unfortunately for him, you knew every version of Daryl trying to flee something, whether vulnerability, intimacy or conversation topics. His hand was still close enough that you caught two fingers in yours and tugged him right back. “Don’t you dare,” you murmured.
“Ain’t doin’ nothin’.”
“You were about to leave with a lame excuse.”
His jaw shifted. “If ya lemme think o’ one it won’t be lame.”
Merle barked a laugh from his bucket. “Thinkin’ never was yer strong suit, huh, Darylina?”
Daryl shot him a look that had buried men in shallower graves.
You dipped your hands back into the tub, laughing despite yourself. The water had gone grey from dust and sweat, and Daryl’s shirt twisted heavy between your fists. The smell of soap, grill smoke, and summer heat mixed with the rot blowing in from the fence. It should not have been the kind of morning that made people want stories. But then again, nothing about the prison made sense when it decided to feel like home. “We had a lot of obstacles,” you began. “Like a lot a lot. So Merle was nothing. That’s probably why it took him so long to figure it out.”
Back then, Daryl still shared a cell with Merle. That was a pretty big obstacle.
Not the only problem in your way, obviously. One of many. The prison was full of people with ears, eyes, and absolutely nothing better to do once dinner ended. But the cell was the worst of it. The Dixon brothers had been put together because nobody knew what else to do with them, and maybe because some hopeful, foolish part of Rick thought proximity might make reconciliation easier. It did not.
It made sneaking around a tactical operation.
Every night, Daryl had to wait for Merle to either fall asleep, wander off, pick a fight, or lose interest in sleeping there altogether. Then he came to you like clockwork, slipping through the curtain with silent boots and a face that only softened once the rest of the world was behind him. He never knocked, just slipped through like a breeze. Sometimes you were already awake, sitting cross-legged on your cot with a book open in your lap and your ears trained on the catwalk. Sometimes you pretended not to have waited, even though you had been staring at the same sentence for twenty minutes.
“You awake?” he would whisper, as if your whole body had not turned toward him the second he stepped inside. “No,” you would whisper back. “But now I am.”
Those nights were the easiest part of the world.
Outside your cell, there was gallons of literal nightmare fuel, fresh graves beyond the yard, whispers about the Governor, arguments over rations, and the constant scrape of survival wearing everyone thin. Inside, there was Daryl sitting on the edge of your cot, tiredly unlacing his boots. There was your hand sliding over his shoulders, feeling the day’s tension gathered there and easing it loose beneath your palms. There was the quiet, stupid relief of him being close enough to touch after a whole day of pretending you were normal about each other.
That had not started in the prison, though. On the road, you and Daryl had become something before either of you had the sense or courage to name it. Not because of proximity —everybody was close on the road. Everybody smelled terrible together, starved together, slept in the same dirt, passed around the same mouthfuls of water and the same bruised hope. That kind of closeness made a group.
What happened with Daryl was different. You were two people who probably never would have spoken long enough to matter in the old world. He was all sharp edges and silence, someone who didn’t care much for conversation. You were bubbly and passionate when you felt things, stubborn in three different languages, too quick with your hands, your temper, your mouth. At first, you annoyed the living hell out of him. He annoyed you right back. He would grunt instead of answer. You would answer for him just to watch his jaw tick. He would tell you to quit making so much noise. You would make more noise on principle.
It was not like the others. You did not just trust Daryl because he was useful or brave or good with a crossbow. You trusted the specific shape of him beside you in the dark. The way he always noticed when you were limping before you did. The way he handed you the last strip of dried meat without looking at you, like making eye contact might turn kindness into a confession. The way he drifted closer on watch when the night got too wide, pretending it was tactical while his shoulder found yours. The way he listened to your rambling like it irritated him, then remembered every word three days later when it mattered.
And Daryl, God help him, got used to your antics.
Worse, he started needing them.
Your teasing. Your muttered Spanish. Your dramatic threats when a can refused to open. The way you could make him want to roll his eyes and smile at the same time, which frankly felt like witchcraft. You became the voice he listened for when camp went too quiet, the face he looked for in groups, the footsteps he knew without turning, the laugh that cut through all the rot and hunger and made something in his chest ache because the world had no business still making sounds like that.
By the time either of you realised what was happening, it was already too late.
Being away from him made you restless. Being away from you made him meaner. The group moved around you, bonded by survival, but you and Daryl had become two peas in one very damaged, highly armed pod — always orbiting, always bickering, always pretending the pull between you was loyalty and not the kind of wanting that made every accidental touch feel like a lit match dropped in dry grass.
The tension got ridiculous eventually. Painful, even.
A brush of his hand at your lower back could ruin your entire afternoon. Your hip bumping his near the fire could make him go so still you’d think he was having an aneurysm. You would catch him watching your mouth and then watch him hate himself for it. He would catch you staring at his hands and assume the drool at your mouth must’ve been the wind.
So by the time you reached the prison, with its walls and gates and cot mattresses and the impossible illusion of doors that closed, it finally gave all that wanting somewhere to go.
Which was the funny part: the prison didn’t really chill you out at all.
After months of muddy roads, cold nights, shared blankets, fleeting glances and watch shifts where wanting sat between you like a loaded gun, the prison should have felt like a blessing.
And yeah, in a lot of ways, it was a blessing.
Because you were both insatiable, half-mad with horniness, and absolutely terrible at pretending you were not, the prison was a godsend. But it also made a lot of things worse. Because you guys got nothing done. That was a pretty big problem and Merle didn’t even need to be there for that.
Every chance Daryl got he would snatch you away like he was starved, even though he’d already had his fill several times by noon. You were clingy in a way neither of you would have admitted under torture.
Daryl trying to leave your cell was damn near impossible. It was pretty straightforward. Boots on, vest grabbed, retrieve crossbow, one last look back before he slipped out to hunt or take watch or pretend he had not just spent half the morning in bed with you. But then he would make the fatal mistake of looking at you properly: naked under the twisted sheet, skin warm and marked from his hands and mouth, hair an absolute disaster across the pillow, lips swollen, eyes heavy and smug and still asking for him like he had not already given you everything he had because you couldn’t get enough. His own hair would be no better, sticking up in every direction from your fingers, his shirt half-buttoned wrong, his belt still hanging loose because even getting dressed had become a negotiation with himself. He would bend down for the quickest goodbye kiss, just one, barely anything, because he knew if he lingered he was finished, and you would look up at him through your lashes like the devil had personally trained you. Daryl would barely make it outside the curtain before your fingers hooked into the back of his shirt and tugged. For one noble, doomed second, he would try and scrape up any willpower he had left and not melt into your arms. Then he would think,, What am I, stupid? and turn right back around, letting you pull him in until he could get his hands on you, haul you up with a low, wrecked sound, and toss you back onto the cot like there wasn’t a million things to do while the clothes he had just put on hit the floor again.
Daryl acted like he was above the clingyness, obviously, because Daryl had built half his personality out of looking unimpressed, but he was the worst one. He came up with so many excuses why he couldn’t sleep in his own cell just because he didn’t want to admit he hated sleeping without you now. He would find you in the laundry room, in the pantry, by the stairs, anywhere there was half a shadow and enough space to crowd you against a wall. And you loved it so much.
Maybe that should have embarrassed you. Maybe in a world full of death and desolation and people turning into monsters, you should have picked something nobler as one of your favourite memories. But there was something about those weeks that still made your stomach flip when you thought about them. The honeymoon phase is no joke people.
And he had the audacity to act like it was your fault; you completely impaired his ability to function like a normal fucking human being.
You would be minding your business, barely awake, hair a mess, trying to start the day like a functional adult, and then a hand would hook around your waist from a cell doorway and yank you clean out of the corridor. One second you were thinking about breakfast. The next, your back was against the inside wall of Daryl’s cell, his body crowding yours, his palm over your mouth to catch the startled sound he had caused in the first place. “Morning,” he’d rasp, like he hadn’t just kidnapped you before coffee.
You would glare at him over his hand.
He would look very pleased with himself for a man pretending not to be.
The worst part was that you never even managed to stay mad. Not with his knee sliding between yours just enough to make your thoughts scatter. Not with that stupid, devastating mouth hovering so close while he waited to see if you would shove him away or drag him in.
You always dragged him in.
Getting Daryl to shower wasn’t as big as a task as you had expected. Admittedly it took some strategy. Sometimes bribery. Sometimes threatening. Sometimes standing a little too close in the corridor and telling him very seriously he’ll be stuck with his hand unless he washed off the grime that covered him head to toe.
He would scowl at you and storm off, then show up ten minutes later with a towel over his shoulder.
Because Daryl Dixon was stubborn, not stupid.
The third shower stall became sacred ground.
Not because it was romantic, unless you counted mildew as atmosphere. The tiles were cracked, the curtain was questionable, and the whole place smelled permanently of damp concrete, old soap, and whatever industrial cleaner Carol had decided would do the trick. But the pipe behind that stall was ancient and loud, a violent, clanging thing that shrieked through the walls whenever the water pressure kicked too high. Which made it perfect.
Perfect for the days you actually managed to get Daryl in there, which, admittedly, required strategy.
And once you had him behind that curtain, once the pipe was screaming and the water was coming down hard enough to turn the stall into steam and noise, all his grumbling became somebody else’s problem.
The curtain would screech to a shut on its rusted rings while footsteps could pass outside at literally any second.
The pipe was already shrieking when he hiked your leg up.
“Fuck,” you breathed, the cold tile biting hard into your back while Daryl’s soaked chest pressed hot and solid against yours.
He had one hand locked under your thigh, holding you open against him, the other braced beside your head as he drove into you with the kind of rough, focused urgency that made thinking impossible. The wet slap of skin was barely swallowed by the groaning pipes, but embarrassment was somewhere far behind you, drowned under steam and the drag of his mouth and the way his hips kept knocking the breath out of your lungs.
You clung to him like he was the only solid thing in the world, legs wrapped around him making sure he wasn’t going anywhere.
His hair dripped into his face, his mouth swollen from yours, his eyes dark under the wet strands every time he pulled back just enough to look at you. You were trying to keep quiet, trying to stay upright, trying not to lose your mind against the tile, but Daryl had a way of making all three feel like unreasonable expectations.
“You know someone could walk in,” you squeaked, which would have sounded more convincing if you weren’t already grinding into him, arms locked behind his neck like you had no intention of letting him stop.
Daryl’s eyes cut to yours.
“Won’t take long,” he breathed against your mouth.
You would have laughed if he hadn’t kissed the sound right out of your mouth.
He hitched you higher, palm rough beneath your thigh, pinning you harder until the tile knocked faintly against your spine. The slick drag of his body against yours, the steam gathering on his shoulders, the sharp curse he swallowed when you tightened around him — all of it blurred together until there was only the force of him, the heat of him, the breath-stealing roll of his hips as he found a rhythm and lost the last of whatever restraint he had pretended to bring in with him.
Daryl would groan low in his chest like being inside you had ruined him all over again, forehead dropping to yours, breath hot and ragged against your mouth while your nails dug into his shoulders.
Your body went taut around him, and his grip turned bruising, desperate, like if he held you tight enough, if he pressed you hard enough into the wall, if he kept you there under the hammering water and the screaming pipe and the thin mercy of that curtain, he could keep the whole world out for just a few more seconds.
The pipe screamed. The curtain trembled.
Your head fell back against the tile, and Daryl caught the exposed line of your throat with his mouth like he couldn’t help himself, teeth scraping just enough to make your whole body jolt around him.“Shh,” he rasped like a hypocrite, because he was panting like a dog.
His cock would be buried deep inside you in a public shower stall and he had the nerve to tell you to be quiet. Yeah fair enough. Your eyes rolled back every time without fail, hair always a miserable mess in the steamy heat.
Your breath broke. “Daryl—”
His mouth covered yours again, filthy and urgent, swallowing the sound before it could escape into the shower block. He felt your smile against him anyway, wild and breathless and impossible to hide, and that did something to him. You felt the shift in his body before you heard the rough sound it pulled from his throat, felt the way he got hotter, sharper, meaner in the best way, his hand finding its cue to dip down to your cunt and work with purpose while his hips kept their hard, messy pace.
He knew you too well. That was the problem.
He knew exactly when your body started to betray you. Knew the change in your breathing, the helpless little catch in your throat, the way your thigh trembled in his grip and your nails dragged down his wet back. He knew when to kiss you deeper, when to press harder, when to angle his hips just right and make your whole body seize around him.
The only problem here was the finish always came too fast in there.
The rush, the steam, the noise, the knowledge that anyone could walk past and see the shadow of him holding you up against the tile while you came apart around him — it made everything sharp, reckless, impossible to stretch out. You turned your face into his shoulder, biting down on the sound that tried to tear out of you, your body clenching hard enough to make Daryl’s rhythm stutter.
“Baby,” you gasped against his skin, the Spanish slipping out before you could stop it, soft and ruined and barely louder than the water. “No voy a durar.”
He cursed, low.
He always acted like he didn’t understand half the things you said when you got like that, but you knew better. The man had picked up a suspicious amount of Spanish from exactly these kinds of situations, which was both embarrassing and deeply unsurprising. He remembered the words that mattered to him. Especially the ones you said when your voice went thin and desperate and your legs were shaking around his waist.
“Me neither,” he rasped. Then he drove into you harder, once, twice, his whole body locking tight against yours as he followed you over with a broken grunt muffled against your neck. His hand tightened under your thigh, his forehead pressed to your shoulder, and for a few seconds he just held you there, buried deep, breathing like he had been running for miles.
The water kept hammering down. The pipe kept shrieking.Your heart kept trying to claw its way out of your chest.
For a while, neither of you moved.
Your back was cold, your legs were starting to ache, and Daryl’s weight had you pinned to the tile in a way that would probably leave marks.
But his mouth pressed to your shoulder, and his breathing was warm against your wet skin, and his hands still wouldn’t let go until a noise from outside the washrooms would jolt you out of the haze.
Daryl’s head lifted slowly, eyes narrowing toward the curtain like he could threaten the entire hallway into silence by glaring hard enough, telling you to quit laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Then he dropped his forehead against yours, exhaling rough and quiet, and for one dangerous second you thought he might start laughing too.
Shower sex did not happen often. It was too risky, too cramped, too likely to end with one of you limping back into the cell block with wet hair and a suspicious inability to make eye contact with anyone.
But when you did treat yourselves, it was worth every second of sneaking back out like nothing had happened.
Worth the bruised spine. Worth Daryl standing beside you afterwards, hair dripping, face blank with the desperate seriousness of a man trying very hard to look innocent while you adjusted your shirt and failed not to smile.
And when someone inevitably asked who had used all the hot water, you would only shrug, sweet as anything, and disappear before people started pointing fingers.
Another problem was fence duty — or flirtation with weapons. You would stand on the platform with rifles, pretending to scan the tree line while you slowly edged closer. Daryl would mutter something about keeping your eyes on the field, and you would say your eyes were on the field; technically, he was just unfortunately shaped like a distraction, and a striking reminder of the filth you’d been wrapped up in a few hours ago in your cell. Him being right there - it was hard not to think about it and smirk at the memory. He would scoff and call you a freak - but he wore the same look in his eyes as you, so takes one to know one.
So really you guys weren’t strangers to hurdles in your relationship. The only reason you didn’t let it come between you is because you didn’t care what others thought.
Ok actually, that was a lie. You cared a little.
Not because you were ashamed but because you had wanted to love Daryl out loud from the beginning. The sneaking around was fun, sure, but you were made for a loud kind of loving—hands on arms, kisses on cheeks, names softened by warmth, affection given in passing like salt. Back before the world ended, your family had never loved shyly. They had loved across kitchens, over each other’s voices, with food, with arguments, with several people talking at once and someone yelling from another room that dinner was burning.
Daryl did not come from that.
Daryl came from locked doors and flinching silences, from wanting things so quietly he could almost convince himself he didn’t want them at all. Love, to him, was not something you announced in the middle of a room. It was something he carried close, tucked under his ribs where nobody could get their hands on it.
So you hid it because he needed time and you were ok with that. At least, that was what you told yourself.
There had been a small, ugly part of you in the beginning that wondered if maybe he wanted to hide you because he was embarrassed. Not of you exactly, not in any way your rational mind believed for more than a few seconds, but insecurity had never needed to be logical. It slipped in during the mornings he left before dawn, during the meals where he barely looked at you, during the moments when his hand would brush yours in passing and then vanish like the touch had burned.
“Wait,” he interrupted in the present, going completely still beside the wash tub. “What?”
His brow had pulled together, not angry yet but something close enough to hurt. The shirt in his hands sagged, forgotten, water dripping steadily from the hem into the dirt. “You thought that?” His voice had gone low in a way that made the teasing around you thin out. “That I was embarrassed?”
You winced. “Not for long.”
Daryl kept looking at you, eyes sharp and searching, like he needed to find the exact place in you where that thought had lived and tear it out by the root. “Ya never told me that.”
“Well, because it was stupid.”
“Well yeah but ya still shoulda told me.”
That shut you up.
It was such a Daryl thing to say—rough, blunt, half-mumbled, but so sincere it landed clean. He looked almost offended on your behalf, as if your own insecurity had insulted you in front of him and he was deciding whether it needed its teeth knocked in.
You reached for his hand under the rim of the tub, catching his wet fingers with yours. “I know now it wasn’t true.”
His eyes did not move from your face.
“I do,” you promised, softer. “It was just… hard sometimes. You’d sneak out before anyone woke up, then spend the whole day acting like nothing was happening. And I understood why. But sometimes my brain got stupid about it.”
You could almost see what he didn’t say. That in his head, if anyone was going to be ashamed, it would have made more sense for it to be you. You, with your joyous laugh and warm hands and pretty mouth and everyone liking you so easily. You, who could make a room bend toward you just by walking into it. You, choosing him, somehow. Him with his mean-looking crossbbow and bad temper and family baggage that bit people.
He didn’t say any of that. He only looked at you like the idea of you ever feeling unwanted by him was preposterous. “That ain’t ever been true,” he said, each word dragged out rough and careful. “You know that, right?”
“Oh, trust me I know.” You squeezed his hand, thumb sliding over the scarred ridge of his knuckle. “I realised pretty quickly you didn’t have it in you to not be obsessed with me.” You leaned your shoulder into his, just enough to make the point without making a scene.
He rolled his eyes but corner of his mouth twitched despite himself.
Merle made a gagging noise. “Lord, give me strength.”
One of the last times you’d slept in Daryl’s cell before everything came out was about when you realised this man didn’t have it in him to not be enthralled by you.
Merle had taken the watch tower shift, which meant the cell was fair game. The night had been too cold, the air crisp and mean behind the hanging sheet, the prison breathing around you in distant clangs and murmurs. Naturally you went to sleep by your favourite radiator. You had fallen asleep tangled in Daryl’s blanket, your cheek pressed to his shoulder, his hand spread low on your back.
By dawn, the light had begun to creep pale and grey across the floor. You woke first to the ugly knowledge that Merle’s shift would be ending soon.
Daryl was still half-asleep, heavy and warm under you, face buried somewhere in your hair, one arm hooked around your waist with the stubborn finality of a padlock. His hair was a mess against your skin. His breathing was slow, hot, and uneven, and every time you tried to shift away, his arm tightened like his body objected before his mind could wake enough to argue.
“Baby,” you whispered, voice ruined by sleep. “I have to go.”
He made a muffled sound that might have been English in a previous life.
You tried to pry his arm loose. “Daryl.”
“No.”
“You didn’t even hear what I said.”
“Don’t care.”
A laugh cracked out of you, quiet and raspy. “If I don’t leave now, Merle’s gonna come in and see me.”
His face pressed deeper into you, stubborn as a child and twice as immovable. “Let ’im.”
That made you still.
Outside the cell, the prison was waking in pieces, and any second now Merle Dixon could come swaggering down the corridor with his big mouth and worse timing. You should have been panicking. And you were a little.
But Daryl only hauled you closer, dragging you back into the warm cave of the blanket until your legs tangled again and your hand landed in his hair. “Daryl,” you whispered, half warning, half melting. “I’m serious.”
“So’m I.” His voice was thick with sleep, rough enough to scrape something pleasant down your spine. “Ain’t leavin’.”
“You’re not the one who has to leave, I am.”
“Nope.”
“You can’t just say nope me like that decides everything.”
He still didn’t move. “Can.”
It was so ridiculous, so possessive in the laziest possible way, that affection broke over you like warm water. Your fingers slid into the back of his hair, nails scratching gently at his scalp. He hummed, probably without even knowing, the sound vibrating against your chest.
“You really mean that, Dixon?” you murmured. “You don’t care if he finds out?”
His arm tightened. “Mhmm,” he grumbled. “Tired of sneakin’.”
Your heart did something stupid.
No, he wasn’t ashamed of you. Not even close. If anything, he wanted to keep you hidden the way people hid valuables when the world went bad. Not because they were embarrassed by them, but because everybody else had hands.
And Merle, unfortunately, had a hand and a knife.
You weren’t being hidden because he was embarrassed. Daryl was hiding you because Merle ruins everything
Merle sat up straighter. “I do not.”
The yard went quiet in the immediate, communal way people go quiet when someone has told a truly outrageous lie.
Everyone deadpanned on him.
Merle’s eyes narrowed at the collective doubt now aimed in his direction. “What?”
“You would have ruined everything,” you said, plunging both hands back into the grey wash water.
Merle scoffed, but there was less force behind it than usual. “I mighta made your lives a little dysfunctional.”
“If by that you mean ‘hell’ then yeah — a little dysfunctional,” you said.
Carol closed her eyes, lips pressed together in that very specific way that meant she was either praying for strength or trying not to laugh herself into the grill.
Merle waved a hand, unconcerned.“Whatever.”
Beside you, Daryl made a low sound that was suspiciously close to a laugh. He tried to bury it by wringing out one of his shirts with unnecessary violence, but you caught the way his shoulder loosened by the tiniest amount. Not fully. Daryl never relaxed all at once. He eased into it like a stray dog deciding whether a porch was safe. But he eased all the same.
You smiled to yourself and shook water from your fingers before reaching for the next shirt. “Anyway, the point is, while Daryl and I kept sneaking around, Merle kept trying to figure out who his brother was sleeping with.”
Merle’s investigation, if it could be called that without insulting real investigators everywhere, began badly.
The first clue was the bra.
To this day, you and Daryl disagreed about the exact chain of custody. He insisted you had left it there on accident when you were hurriedly getting dressed to abandon ship. You insisted he had practically ripped it off you the night before and thrown it so haphazardly, as if it had offended him, and you couldn’t find it the next morning. Sure it was still pretty dark but it was either staying to find your bra to have a supported chest or to enjoy more blissful undiscovered relationship with your boyfriend. The truth was probably somewhere in the middle, dirty and wrinkled and absolutely doomed from the moment it crossed the threshold into the Dixon brothers’ cell.
It was black, tattered at one strap but still practical. Nothing special. Atleast, nothing that should have inspired a full forensic investigation.
Unfortunately, Merle found it. He had been digging through the cell for something he had definitely misplaced himself and would later blame on an easy target. Daryl came back from a runto find his brother standing in the middle of the room, holding your bra up with the tip of his knife like it might bite his face off.
Merle’s grin spread slowly, horribly, like sunrise over a crime scene. “Well now,” he drawled, stretching the words until the moment begged to be put out of its misery. “Either you’ve developed some real interestin’ hobbies, or the wind’s gettin’ mighty personal.”
Daryl crossed the cell in three strides and snatched it off the knife. “Laundry got mixed.”
Merle’s eyebrows climbed. “Laundry got mixed.”
“Uh-huh.”
“This yours?”
Daryl shoved the bra into his pack so fast he nearly ripped the zipper. “Said laundry.”
“Didn’t ask where it came from,” Merle said, leaning against the bunk with awful delight. “Asked who it belongs to.”
Daryl’s ears went red. That was the problem with Daryl. His face could stay mean as a thundercloud. His mouth could flatten into a line sharp enough to cut meat. His whole body could go still and dangerous. But his ears had no loyalty. You liked to joke that was the real reason he kept his hair long. Strategic coverage.
Merle saw the colour crawl up his brother’s ears and it was practically audible - the rusty gears in his head begin to turn. “Hold on,” he said slowly. “You got a woman?”
Daryl really should’ve lied better. “No,” he said, far too fast, and then uselessly busied himself with his crossbow.
Merle’s grin went feral. “Oh, you got a woman.”
“Shut up.”
“A good one too, by the looks of it.” Merle mimed holding the bra against his own chest, which was an image Daryl would later describe to you with the haunted stare of a veteran. “Who is she?”
“Ain’t nobody.”
“Mm. Nobody with a nice rack.”
Daryl threatened him by pointing a bolt at him.
And Merle laughed for ten whole minutes.
Back in the present, Glenn spoke up, because apparently the morning had not embarrassed him enough, “Was it yours?”
Every head turned.
Glenn froze. His spoon hovered uselessly in one hand. “I mean, obviously it was, but—”
Daryl pointed toward the far side of the yard. “Go help Rick.”
Glenn shrunk into himself, voice small like a mouse “But I wanna hear the end”
“Go.”
You laughed, cheeks warm despite yourself. “Yes, Glenn. Obviously it was mine.”
Patrick looked like he deeply regretted choosing this morning to retrieve his wrench and yet could not bring himself to leave.
Merle leaned toward him, eyes gleaming. “That ain’t even the good clue.”
“Merle,” Daryl warned.
You were already grinning. “No, he’s right. The condoms were funnier.”
Daryl squeezed his eyes shut, willing this nightmare to be over.
The condoms didn't prove anything on their own. People scavenged all kinds of old-world relics. Batteries that may or may not work. Lighters with one spark left in them. Painkillers two years expired. Cigarettes. Lip balm. Things that had once meant convenience and now meant treasure.
But because Merle found them in Daryl’s pack, he immediately became insufferable on a level nobody had previously measured.
He had shaken the little box once, right beside his ear, like a child on Christmas morning trying to guess what was inside. “Well, well, well.”
Daryl had gone still in the doorway.
Merle’s grin turned predatory. “Ain’t we presumptuous.”
“Give ’em here.”
“Oh, I’m a proud big brother alrigh’.” Merle danced back as Daryl stepped forward, metal hand held high, box caught between two fingers. “Look at you. Plannin’. Dreamin’. Practicin’ optimist over here.”
“Merle m’serious—”
“Who’s the lucky lady?” His eyes lit. “Or fella. It’s a fella, huh? That why you’re bein’ so shy?”
Daryl lunged.
Merle ducked sideways, laughing, narrowly avoiding getting slammed into the bunk. “Wait, I got it. You just wear ’em by yourself for fun? That it?”
Daryl nearly tackled him into the wall.
Later, when Daryl told you, he had tried to keep his face stern and wounded, but you had laughed so hard into your pillow your stomach hurt. He’d threatened to sleep on the floor if you kept going.
You had kept going, but of course he was bluffing.
In the present, you nudged Daryl’s boot with yours. “You should’ve seen your face when you told me.”
“Wasn’t funny.”
“It was extremely funny,” Merle said. “Looked just like when I caught him lookin’ at one’a my magazines.”
Slowly, with the awful satisfaction of a woman being handed a weapon, you turned to Daryl.
“Really?”
Daryl stared at Merle with murder in the set of his jaw, not daring to glance at the rest of the group and confirm what he already knew: everyone was listening and everyone was delighted.
“Would you shut the fuck up,” Daryl spat, voice rising slightly.
Merle just winked at him. Way to poke the bear.
Patrick, who had somehow become braver through sheer exposure, asked very quietly, “…Did Merle ever give them back?”
A pause settled over the wash tubs. Not a natural pause — a guilty one. Merle evaded Daryl’s line of sight like it was child support. Daryl’s eyes sharpened. “Merle.”
“What?”
“You said you lost ’em.”
“I did!” he shrieked.
You slowly turned toward him. Merle leaned away from you first, then from Daryl, realising too late that the tub was on one side and his own stolen-tool history was on the other. Nowhere good to run.
“Merle.”
“What? Ain’t like I used ’em.”
Daryl stood so abruptly the shirt in his hand slapped back into the tub.
Merle pointed at him. “Now hold on.”
Carol sighed with the bone-deep exhaustion of a woman who had been forced to supervise grown men since the end of civilization. “Boys.”
You lifted a wet shirt from the tub, water streaming down your forearm, and held it between them like a flag of surrender. “I am not washing any more blood out of this laundry.”
Daryl stopped, and Merle smirked, because he had survived another day. Barely.
The truth, which Merle did not volunteer and Glenn suddenly became very interested in not knowing aloud, was that the condoms had not been lost at all.
Merle had traded them to Glenn for a pack of cigarettes he had scavenged. You only found that out much later, when Glenn, wracked by guilt and cornered by Maggie, confessed the whole thing while refusing to make eye contact with anyone.
In Glenn’s defence, he had thought they were Merle’s and not trafficked goods. Which somehow made the entire situation worse.
In the present, Glenn took one very careful step backward. Unfortunately for Glenn, everyone noticed.
Daryl’s head turned slowly. “Glenn.”
Glenn pointed toward the breakfast table with his spoon. “I really should see Rick”
Merle clapped his hands once, delighted. “There he is. My business partner.”
Daryl looked between them. “You traded with him?”
Glenn’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. “In my defense—”
“You got no defense,” Daryl said.
“I did not know they were yours.”
“That don’t make it better.”
“It makes it weird,” Patrick whispered.
Everyone turned to him.
Patrick looked down at his wrench. “Sorry.”
You started laughing first, and once you started, there was no stopping it. Carol followed, shoulders shaking quietly. Merle howled. Glenn looked betrayed by the universe. Even Daryl, after a long, painful battle against joy, let one breath of laughter slip out through his nose.
You leaned your shoulder into his leg where he stood beside the tub. “For what it’s worth, I forgive you for losing our apocalypse contraception in a cigarette-based trade scandal.”
Daryl looked down at you, then back at Merle. “Ain’t me that needs forgivin’.”
Merle lifted a hand. “I accept.”
“No one offered,” you and Daryl said together.
After a few more minutes of giggling, you wiped the tears from the corner of your eye with the heel of your wrist and reached for another shirt. “Anyway,” you said, still smiling. “After the bra and the condoms, Merle started closing in.”
Patrick watched the two of you with open fascination, as if love was a machine and he had just seen one of the gears move. Patrick frowned. “Wouldn’t rifle thing put you higher up on the suspect list? I would have thought he’d put two and two together—”
“You’d think huh,” you said. “But Merle has never been good at making connections. Thinkining isnt his strong suit.”
Merle nodded solemnly. “Thinking’s how people get wrinkles.”
“Then you must be the exception cuz your face looks like a leather bag,” you chuckled.
You thought Merle would’ve stormed you for sure. You looked up and he had his eyes closed, chanting ‘don’t hit a woman, don’t hit a woman’ over and over again, making Daryl’s eyebrows cinch together.
Daryl wrung the shirt so hard water splashed Merle’s boot for what was probably the fith time this morning, as if to wake him up from whatever psychosis you had put him in.
You laughed and kept the rhythm going, clothes dunked and wrung, dunked and wrung, while the story unwound itself.
And because his shoes were likely puddles, he decided he would humiliate you this time. “Tell ‘em about that time in yur cell,” Merle said suddenly.
Daryl’s head snapped up so fast you nearly heard something in his neck object. “No.”
Merle grinned around his jerky. “Oh, yeah. Tell ’em about that.”
You went very still for half a second, one hand sunk wrist-deep in the laundry tub, the other curled around the soaked collar of Daryl’s shirt.
“The cell?” Patrick asked, immediately brightening in the way of someone who had no survival instinct when presented with gossip.
Daryl pointed at Merle, “don’t.”
Merle held up both hands, delighted by the panic he had caused. “I gotta say somethin’ now, so ya may aswell just tell it. Its defamatory if ya don’t;”
“ you don’t even know what that means,” you said.
“I know it’s makin’ him sweat like a whole in a church.”
Daryl made a move to get up. “I’m leavin’.”
You caught his arm without looking, stopping him instantly. You smiled sweetly. “You’re staying.”
His jaw worked, clearly weighing his dignity against the fact that you had him physically tethered beside a bucket of wet laundry. “Ain’t doin’ this,” he muttered.
“You’re already doing it.”
Carol’s mouth twitched. “She has a point.”
Merle leaned toward Patrick and stage-whispered, “This right here’s why you never let a pretty woman learn your weaknesses.”
“My weakness ain’t her,” Daryl snapped.
The silence that followed was delicious. If this scene was being animated by Disney, Daryl’s nose would’ve grown 10 feet long.
In this production he simply stared at the laundry tub like he could drown himself in it.
You patted his thigh. “Aw, baby. You keep telling yourself.”
“Shut up.”
Merle made a gagging sound so dramatic it disturbed a crow off the fence.
You ignored him and finally let go of Daryl’s arm, though only because he crouched back down beside you with the defeated stiffness of a man accepting his fate. His knee pressed against yours. He grabbed yet another shirt from the basket and started wringing it with far too much aggression as always.
“The cell,” you said, clearing your throat with more dignity than you felt, “was when Merle found out.”
Patrick leaned forward so far Carol had to nudge his plate back before it tipped.
In your mind, the buzzing courtyard dimmed into the cool gray hush before dawn, into stale prison air and rough blankets and Daryl’s heartbeat under your cheek.
“Merle was supposed to be gone overnight,” you began.
When Merle was gone, the whole cell block felt different.
There was no booming voice from the next bunk, no metal hand scraping against concrete, no crude comment tossed through the curtain just because Merle had sensed happiness nearby and decided it needed pest control.
It had been late when you slipped into Daryl’s cell, and later still when the two of you finally fell asleep.
By the time morning began pressing pale and thin against the bars, you were out cold.
Not pretty-asleep. Not like the movie-asleep. Proper, bone-deep, apocalypse-exhausted sleep, exertion from work and late night exercise (what type of exercise shall remain nameless but it wasn’t the kind that required clothes). It was the kind of dog tired that dragged you under and kept you there because for once you were perfectly warm — not just too hot or too cold —and Daryl was comfier than an arm rest, and the whole miserable world had narrowed to the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek.
You were sprawled over him, one arm tucked between your bodies, your face turned into the hollow below his collarbone. Daryl was flat on his back with both arms around you, one hand spread low across your ass (real classy), the other hooked protectively over your waist even in sleep. His chin rested near the crown of your head. Every now and then, his fingers would twitch against your skin like even unconscious, some part of him was checking that you hadn’t moved.
It looked familiar. That was the unnerving part.
Not scandalous. Just familiar. Lived-in. Like the two of you had done this a thousand times before — because you had.
The sheet had been kicked low sometime in the night, shoved down in a losing battle against the sticky prison heat, leaving it tangled uselessly over your legs and not doing much for modesty anywhere else. The air in the cell was warm and close, carrying the faint smell of sweat, soap, old cement, and Daryl’s skin, and you were too deeply asleep to know anything outside the circle of his arms existed.
Then Merle came back early.
Later, he would swear he had not strutted in but he absolutely had.
Tired, yes. Half-dead on his feet, maybe. Running on nothing but muscle memory, spite, and whatever awful thing passed for Merle Dixon’s survival instinct. But still, somehow, with swagger. His boots dragged down the corridor in that uneven rhythm you knew too well, and the curtain twitched aside before either you or Daryl had the chance to hear him.
His bag hit the floor with a dull thud. Then—
“Oh, shit.”
Daryl woke instantly.
One second he was dead asleep under you, breath slow, body heavy and loose. The next, he was all motion beneath your cheek, every muscle snapping tight like a wire. His arm locked around your waist. His other hand came up fast, dragging the sheet higher while he twisted, turning you into him completely, your half-awake body barely understood it was being moved.
“Get out,” Daryl demanded. His voice was low, but not embarrassed-low. Not sleepy-low either. A dangerous-low.
Merle stood just inside the curtain, bag at his feet, eyes wider than saucers. In the dim blue-gray wash of early morning, he looked caught somewhere between exhaustion, horror, and the deeply unfortunate knowledge that his eyes had just gathered information his brain had not consented to store.
“Shit my bad,” he blurted, hands lifting. “Didn’t know ya had company—”
“Merle.” Daryl’s voice rose, sharp enough to cut through the last threads of sleep. “Get the fuck out. Now.”
That was what woke you properly. Not Merle or the thump of his bag. Not even the chill of air against skin where Daryl had moved the sheet too fast. It was Daryl’s voice.
Your eyes cracked open against his chest, confused and heavy, your hands sliding blindly to his waist because your body knew where he was before your mind had caught up. For one blissfully stupid second, you thought maybe there were walkers. Maybe an alarm. Maybe something normal and terrible.
Then you lifted your head. And made direct eye contact with Merle Dixon. Holy shit.
You had never wanted death so quickly.
“Mierda,” you hissed, ducking back behind Daryl so fast you nearly headbutted his shoulder.
Daryl’s arm tightened around your waist, hauling you chest-to-chest against him, his body turning broad and solid between you and his brother. It would have been touching if you were not actively praying for the concrete to split open and swallow you whole. There was no point pretending now.
It wasn’t like you could say you were checking for fever — would you really have to do that naked in the middle of the night?
Trading blankets wouldn’t work either.
Laundry got mixed up again? It worked the first time — you were simply checking the labels for the right sheets. No that wouldn’t explain why Daryl was groping your bare ass.
Discussing strategy? Sex does make you more productive - wait no that’s what you used on Daryl when you wanted to have a quickie.
Any other stupid excuses your panicked brain threw against the was immediately rejected because this was exactly what it looked like.
You peeked one eye over Daryl’s shoulder and gave the weakest little wave of your life. “Heyyy, Merle,” you said, voice rough and mortified. “How’s it goin’?”
Merle stared at you.
Then at Daryl’s murderous side glare.
“Hey there, Amiga,” he said, awkward in a way you had not known Merle was capable of being. He bent slowly, blindly feeling for his bag without taking his eyes off a completely uninteresting patch of wall. “No hard feelin’s or nothin’. Didn’t know y’all were in here—“
“Why are you still here?”daryl snapped.
“What’d ya want me to do?” he added, because apparently even embarrassment could not fully overpower Merle’s need to complain. “This is my cell too.”
“I don’t care,” Daryl grunted, pointing at the doorway. “Out.”
Merle lifted the bag like a shield. In the dimness, his face flickered through too many expressions to name cleanly: embarrassment, exhaustion, shock, and beneath all of that, something quieter. Something almost amused. Almost tender, though if anyone had accused him of that he would have chosen violence.
Maybe, for one strange second, he saw it.
Not the obvious part. Not the bodies, not the sheet, not the scandal he would absolutely use against Daryl later.The real part.
You half-asleep and instinctively reaching for his brother. Daryl half-feral from sleep, shielding you before he had even fully opened his eyes. The two of you tangled together with the easy comfort of people who had stopped pretending long before anyone else had permission to know.
Maybe Merle saw that and understood more than either of you wanted him to.
But then was not the time.
Merle nodded once, backing out like there might be a T. rex in the cell and sudden movement would make things worse.
“Right. I guess I’ll just go… elsewhere.”
He fumbled the curtain halfway across, then corrected it when Daryl glared.
“All the way,” Daryl bit out.
“I’m doin’ it alright.”
The curtain finally slid shut.
The cell was painfully quiet except for your breathing and Daryl’s heart hammering under your palm. You were still pressed against him, skin hot with embarrassment, face buried near his shoulder as if hiding after the fact could somehow undo what Merle had seen.
Then, from the other side of the curtain, Merle’s boots retreated down the corridor with unusual speed.
You let out a long, strangled breath. “Well I guess that’s it,” you whispered into his skin. “He knows now.”
Daryl stared up at the underside of the bunk above him like it had personally disappointed him. “Yeah,” he muttered. “He knows.”
Something had flared in your chest then but you hadn’t the balls to name it. Now you realise - it was relief. Cat was finally out the bag.
Patrick looked as though his soul had left his body ten minutes ago and had not yet decided whether to return.
“That wasn’t what I was talkin’ about,” Merle said, ripping you o ur if the memory.
You froze. Daryl turned his head slowly.
“What?” you both said.
“That wasn’t when I found out, I mean,” he corrected.
Merle leaned back on his bucket, grin spreading lazy and wicked across his face, and tapped ash that was not there from the end of his jerky like it was a cigar.
“Oh, y’all thought that was the grand reveal?” He snorted. “Nah. I knew days before that.”
You both stared at him. Even Carol looked surprised.
Merle’s grin softened just slightly around the edges, though he hid it quickly behind a chew of jerky. “I just let y’all keep playin’ secret lovers. Like Romeo and Juliet.”
Carol’s eyes narrowed. “They died.”
“How was I supposed to know that,” he shrugged. Jesus Christ the school system failed him.
Patrick whispered, horrified and delighted, “He already knew?”
“Kid,” he said, tapping the side of his nose like he was about to reveal state secrets, “I’d known.”
“You’re bluffing,” you squinted at him.
Merle leaned back on his bucket, one arm hooked over his knee, enjoying every ounce of attention now that he had successfully dragged the whole courtyard into the palm of his hand. “Fraid not, ‘mana.”
Daryl’s jaw tightened. “How?”
Merle’s grin shifted.
Not gone, exactly, because Merle would probably keep grinning through his own funeral just to annoy whoever cried first. But something in it changed. The sharpness dulled around the edges, and for half a breath he looked somewhere past the wash tubs, past the fence, past the prison yard baking in the Georgia heat, like the memory had reached up and hooked him under the ribs before he could make it into a joke. “Well,” he said, dragging the word out, “funny story.”
Daryl’s eyes narrowed. “Ain’t gonna be funny.”
“Oh, it’s funny.” Merle eyes averted to you. “Just not for y’all.”
You pressed your lips together, already dreading what this could be.
Merle shifted on his bucket, and the courtyard seemed to lean in around him without meaning to. Carol turned down the meat on the grill so it wouldn’t burn. Glenn, who had been trying to look casual and failing spectacularly, gave up completely and stood still with his spoon in his hand. Patrick sat with his wrench across his knees and the haunted expression of a boy who, mind you, had only asked for one tool back and somehow ended up in the middle of Dixon family lore.
Merle chewed once, swallowed, and then, with the smug solemnity of a man digging his own grave with both hands, began.
“Was middle of the night,” he said. “I woke up needin’ to take a leak.”
Carol closed her eyes. “Beautiful opening.”
“Thank you, Peletier.”
You felt Daryl shift beside you, already bracing.
Merle ignored him. “I hop down, and first thing I notice is baby brother’s bed’s empty.”
Daryl’s hand went still in the tub.
He stared very hard at the gray water, which told you immediately that he knew exactly where this was going and wished, with every surviving piece of himself, for a walker breach.
Unfortunately, Merle kept talking.
“At first, I figured he was on watch, or broodin’ somewhere. Y’know how he gets.”
Daryl muttered, “Shut up.”
“He does brood,” Carol said mildly.
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t say continue.”
Merle continued anyway, because of course he did.
Patrick leaned forward, eyes bright with interest. Carol saw that and pointed the spatula at him. “Yknow what you — don’t need to hear this..”
His face fell. “What?”
“Go show Carl the new comics you found.”
“But—”
“Patrick.”
The boy looked between her, you, Merle, and Daryl, clearly devastated to be banished from what was shaping up to be the most educational conversation of his young life.
You gave him a sympathetic wince.
Daryl looked relieved for exactly half a second.
Carol tilted her head toward the cell block. “Run along now.”
Patrick opened his mouth, reconsidered after seeing Daryl’s face, then stood. “Yes, ma’am.”
Merle watched him go. “Shame. Kid was gonna learn a valuable lesson.”
“I’m sure he has already had the birds and the bees talk,” Glenn chuckled..
“Rhee shut your damn mouth,” you pointed at him.
You turned back to Merle who was wearing his sickening grin again.
Back then, Merle had been half-asleep when he climbed down from his bunk, boots shoved on wrong and shirt hanging open, moving on nothing but bladder pressure, bad temper, and the kind of dead-eyed exhaustion that came from trying to sleep in a place where the dead moaned outside the fences all fucking night.
The cell block had been washed in that strange blue-gray dark that came right before dawn, when the world outside couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be night or morning yet. The air was cool for once, slipping through the broken seams of the prison with a damp little bite, and the sheets hung across cell doors stirred gently in the breeze, lifting and falling like pale sails in the half-light.
Merle glanced toward Daryl’s bunk out of habit. Empty.
Blanket kicked crooked. Pillow flattened. No brother.
Merle squinted at it. “Huh,” he muttered.
Not out of any concern. Daryl wandered, took extra watches he hadn’t been asked to take, disappeared into corners basically on the daily. For all Merle knew, he was perched somewhere with that crossbow, glaring at the sunrise.
So Merle dragged himself along the catwalk, one hand rubbing sleep from his eyes, the other skimming the rail. He passed one cell, then another, hearing the normal prison-night sounds: somebody coughing in their sleep, a low snore, a boot scuffing below, the distant rattle of chain link, the faint restless groan of walkers beyond the fence like the world’s ugliest lullaby.
Then he heard a woman’s voice.
It wasn’t clear at first. Just a soft, breathless little sound from behind one of the sheets, muffled by fabric and shadow and the low sigh of the breeze moving through the block.
Merle stopped dead.
One hand still on the rail. One boot half-lifted. Brow furrowed as his tired brain tried to catch up with what his ears had already understood.
There were plenty of things Merle expected to hear in the middle of the night at the prison. Nightmares. Whispered arguments. Crying, if people thought they were quiet enough. Somebody swearing because they had stubbed a toe on a bucket. Glenn probably tripping over something. All reasonable.
What he did not expect was a woman — moaning a name. His brother’s name. Soft and wrecked and unmistakable.
Merle’s eyes widened. Even without hindsight he knows he should have kept walking.
That was what decent people did, probably. They heard something private and moved on. They let curtains mean curtains. They took their piss, minded their business, and did not invite lifelong mental scarring into their skull.
Merle Dixon, however, had never been accused of decency for longer than three consecutive seconds.
So when the breeze curled through the block and lifted the edge of the sheet across your cell, he couldn’t help but look.
Only for a second, he would later claim.
A second with terrible stamina.
The sheet fluttered back like it had conspired with him, and through the thin slice of moonlight and shadow, Merle saw enough to understand everything at once.
It was you.
You were on Daryl’s cot, though barely anymore, the narrow mattress shoved crooked beneath the force of what the two of you had been doing long before Merle stumbled into view. You must have started properly on the bed, tucked away behind the curtain like civilized people, but somewhere along the way Daryl’s eagerness had dragged you lower and lower until your shoulders were near the edge, your head tipped back over the side, hair spilling toward the floor in a dark loose fall that caught the moonlight like water. Your face was turned up into the pale blue glow, throat exposed, lips parted, eyes squeezed shut as pleasure twisted your expression into something so raw and open that Merle felt his own spine lock against the sight.
Your legs were in the air like you just don’t care around Daryl’s hips. One of his hands gripped the underside of your thigh, holding you open for him, while the other moved over you with a boldness Merle had never once associated with his skittish, snarling little brother. Daryl was touching you like he knew you. Like he had the right to. Like every inch beneath his palms had already become familiar territory, mapped in secret and revisited often, his fingers digging into your hip, sliding to your ass, dragging up your side as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to hold you because he wanted all of it at once.
And Daryl—
Christ.
Merle had seen Daryl angry. He had seen him feral. He had seen him half-starved, bloodied, stubborn, mean with fear, half a second from throwing himself at danger because somebody told him not to. He thought he had seen every version of his little brother. Ohhh how wrong he was.
He had never seen him like that — so undone.
It was written all over the clench of his jaw, the way his mouth kept pressing to your shoulder to muffle the sounds dragging out of him, the way his breath punched rough and ragged into your skin every time he rocked into you and your body took him deeper. You whispered his name like a prayer, hands indecisive on where to go, one moment buried in his hair, the next gripping his back, then sliding shamelessly lower to his ass to pull him in harder, greedier, encouraging every deep thrust like you were both too far gone to care what the prison might hear.
Daryl moved like a man who had lost the argument with himself hours ago. His hips drove into yours in a hard, steady rhythm that made the cot complain beneath you, the frame tapping faintly against the concrete wall in a way that should have been funny to Merle but currently he lacked a sense of humour. Your body rocked with every thrust, head tipping farther back, hair brushing the floor, breasts rising with each broken breath as Daryl leaned over you, mouth hot against your jaw, his wet, desperate whispers caught between English and pure wreckage.
“Look at me,” Daryl rasped, hand coming behind your lolling head and threading in your hair, bearing the weight as if it were imperative he sees your face.
That was the thing that hit Merle hardest.
Not the bare skin. Not the heat. Not the obscene slap of bodies barely hidden under the restless sheets.
It was your eyes opening when Daryl told you to look. It was the way your gaze found his immediately, glassy and dazed and full of so much trust that Merle’s stomach gave a strange, foreign twist. You looked at Daryl like there was no prison, no walkers, no one else in the world, and certainly no Merle standing outside your damn cell being the worst human being alive. You looked at him like he was the only thing anchoring you to the earth while he fucked you halfway off the mattress.
And Daryl looked right back. Not cocky. Not smug. Not like Merle would have expected a man to look with a woman like you falling apart underneath him.
He looked ruined. Completely, helplessly ruined.
His forehead dropped close to yours, his hair hanging around both your faces, and for a few seconds the two of you just breathed into the same little space while his body kept moving and yours kept meeting him, familiar and frantic all at once. There was nothing new about it. That was the confronting part. Nothing about the way you touched each other felt like discovery. It felt like returning. Like the two of you had been in that position enough times to know exactly where to put your hands, where to press your mouths, how to read the hitch in each other’s breath before the other could even ask.
You murmured something in Spanish, soft and filthy and helpless, the words spilling out of you like you didn’t even know you were saying them.
Daryl’s whole body reacted.
Merle didn’t understand the words, but he understood the effect. Daryl’s hips stuttered, his grip tightened on your thigh, and he cursed into the side of your neck with a low, broken sound that made Merle’s eyebrows shoot up so high they nearly left his face.
“Well, damn,” Merle muttered under his breath. He stood frozen in the dark, caught between horror, fascination, and the growing certainty that if either of you noticed him, Daryl would throw him clean over the railing without stopping to put pants on.
He was going to leave, turn around and forget the whole thing. Then Daryl said something that was so unlike the brother Merle thought he knew that, for one second, he wondered if he had imagined it. “I love you.”
The words barely survived beyond the bed.
They weren’t polished. Not pretty but nothing Daryl ever said came out pretty. They sounded dragged from him, rough and breathless, like they had clawed through every locked door inside his chest before finally finding somewhere safe to land. His pace had turned deeper, more deliberate, his face pressed close to yours as if the words belonged against your mouth and nowhere else.
You answered immediately.
Not surprised — not like it was the first time. Like hearing Daryl say he loved you while buried inside you was something your heart had already learned how to hold. “Te amo,” you whispered, hands sliding up to cradle his face. “Te amo.”
And then you kissed him.
You kissed him like the words had lit you up from the inside, mouth open, desperate, your body arching hard beneath his as the rhythm between you broke messy again. Daryl groaned into you, the sound swallowed by your mouth, and one of your hands slid down his back, urging him on, pulling him deeper as your Spanish dissolved into a breathless string of half-formed pleas that made no sense to Merle and clearly made perfect sense to Daryl.
Because Daryl answered you.
That was another thing Merle would never recover from.
His baby brother, who barely spoke in full sentences when the sun was up, who had once responded to “are you okay?” by disappearing into the woods for six hours, was murmuring against your mouth like there was no part of himself he could keep locked away from you anymore.
“I got ya,” Daryl breathed. “I got ya, baby. That’s it. Ain’t lettin’ go.”
Baby? How was that even in his vocabulary? He had not survived the world ending just to hear his brother say baby while fucking his girlfriend into a frenzy.
Your body had started to tighten around Daryl. Even Merle could tell. He wished he couldn’t, but some things announced themselves. The way your legs clamped higher around his waist. The way your fingers twisted in his hair. The way your mouth broke from his because you could not keep kissing and breathing at the same time. The way Daryl’s pace turned less controlled, his shoulders trembling beneath your hands as he tried to hold himself together long enough to get you there first.
Daryl’s hand slipped between your bodies, and Merle unfortunately caught just enough through the shifting gap in the sheet to understand exactly what he was doing. The press of your hips had gone messy and greedy, bodies moving together in that slick, desperate rhythm, and then Daryl’s fingers found your clit with the kind of filthy, practised confidence that made Merle’s soul try to leave his body on the spot. Your reaction was instant. Your mouth fell open around a sound you barely managed to catch, your spine bowing, one hand flying to his wrist — not to stop him, but to hold him there, to keep that rough, knowing pressure exactly where it was while he kept fucking into you. Daryl didn’t even look down. He watched your face the whole time, eyes dark and fixed, like every twist of pleasure across your expression was something he wanted burned into him. Like he knew precisely what he was doing to you and still couldn’t get enough of seeing it happen.
He must have felt it coming before you did, because his hand tightened under your thigh, his fingers between your bodies working with vicious little purpose while his hips kept that deep, grinding rhythm that had already dragged you halfway off the cot. You tried to say his name, tried to warn him, tried to form anything that sounded even remotely human, but Daryl kissed you through it, swallowing the sound as your body went tight beneath him.
Your whole body snapped taut around him, spine arching so hard your chest pressed into his, your mouth open against his as the pleasure tore through you in a wave violent enough to make the cot jerk beneath you. Your thighs clamped around his waist, your fingers digging into his wrist where he touched you, forcing him to feel exactly what he had done as you came all over him.
Merle saw Daryl’s rhythm stutter. Saw his shoulders jolt.
Saw the sheet beneath you darken where your body gave out around him, wetness spilling between your thighs and over his hand, sudden and obscene and so intimate Merle’s brain nearly shorted out on the spot. “Oh, hell no,” Merle whispered to the wall, horrified.
But inside the cell, Daryl looked like the sight had damn near killed him.
His mouth broke from yours just enough for a rough, helpless sound to tear out of him, his eyes fixed on your face as you shook under him, as your body clenched and pulsed around him, as you made those little ruined sounds he kept trying to catch with his lips before they could escape into the cell block. He watched you like he couldn’t look away if the prison burned down around him, like seeing you fall apart beneath him had reached into some dark, starving place in his chest and put a hand around his heart.
“That’s it,” he breathed, voice wrecked against your mouth. “Perfect.”
You made a small, broken sound at the word, your hands going from frantic to desperate-soft, one sliding into Daryl’s hair, the other dragging down his back as if you needed to keep him close through the last trembling shocks of it. Your lips brushed his, barely a kiss anymore, more breath than anything, and the Spanish slipped out of you in pieces, dazed and filthy and tender all at once. “No pares,” you breathed. “No te retires. Lo quiero dentro, por favor.”
Daryl’s jaw clenched so hard Merle saw it jump.
“Yeah?” he rasped, and the word sounded like a warning and a confession at the same time. “Want it that bad huh?.”
You pulled him down into another kiss and that was his answer.
You were still trembling around him, still whispering against his lips, still pleading in Spanish. “Lléname,” you gasped. “Por favor, baby. No te atrevas a salirte.”
Daryl’s whole body shuddered.
That was probably another clue that Merle missed - Daryl now understood Spanish perfectly well. But Merle had just assumed it was a lucky guess when he responded naturally when Spanish was directed at him. Little did he know he had a very dedicated Spanish tutor.
Maybe he didn’t understand every word when you were yelling too fast in the yard, maybe not every insult you threw at Merle with your hands flying and your eyes on fire, but this? These words? This voice? Daryl knew exactly what you were begging for. He wouldn’t admit it in daylight but alot of the Spanish he picked up on was during sex. He had collected it in moments like this, filthy little lessons pressed into his skin until your wanting had become its own language between you. He couldn’t say them back to you properly if someone put a gun to his head, but he knew what you wanted. And how could he deny you?
His head dropped, hair curtaining both your faces, and his mouth found yours hard enough to cut off whatever else you might have said. For one second there was only the wet, desperate sound of the kiss, your bodies moving together, his hips driving deeper, rougher, like the words had snapped the last thread of his restraint clean in two. “As if ya had to ask,” Daryl ground out.
Daryl drove into you once more, hard enough that your breath punched out against his mouth, and then again, deeper, rougher, like he was trying to bury himself in the very place your voice had begged him to stay. Your legs locked around his waist with a desperate little jerk, heels digging into him, holding him there, keeping him close, and the sound that tore out of him was so wrecked and helpless that Merle would’ve made fun of him if he could. Daryl’s forehead pressed to yours, his breath spilling hot and broken over your lips as his hips ground flush against you, giving you every inch, giving you exactly what you had pleaded for in that ruined, breathless Spanish that seemed to carve the last of his restraint clean out of him.
He finished deep, hips pressed tight to yours, his whole body locking over you as the first hot pulse of him spilled into you and made your eyes flutter, your mouth falling open against his with a soft, stunned sound. You felt him fill you, felt the warmth of it spread through the aching, tender place where your bodies were joined, and the intimacy of it hit harder than everything. It was filthy, yes, obscene enough that the ruined sheets beneath you and the scrape of the cot against concrete would haunt Merle’s nightmares forever, but it was more than that too. It was Daryl giving you what you asked for because you trusted him enough to ask, because the warmth spreading through you was just another way of saying what neither of you ever seemed able to say plainly in daylight. That you were his. That he was yours. It was your body taking him like it knew him, like it wanted every last part of him, like there was no distance left between you worth keeping.
You held him through it while his shoulders shook beneath your hands, fingers buried in his hair, lips brushing over his temple, his cheek, anywhere you could reach as he shuddered into you again, and again, each pulse dragging a low, broken sound from the back of his throat. His face was tucked close to yours, eyes squeezed shut, mouth parted like even breathing had become too much to manage, and you could feel how completely undone he was, how fully he had given himself over to you in that narrow, moonlit cell.
Daryl stayed with his forehead pressed to yours, chest heaving against yours, hand sliding up to cup the side of your face with a gentleness so at odds with the last five minutes that Merle almost felt dizzy from it. Your bodies were still tangled together, too close, too familiar, too full of trust for him to dress it up later as just sex and laugh it off over breakfast.
That wasn’t just fucking - that was making love in its truest form. To merle those words were fiction, a fairytale. But he just saw it with his own eyes.
You were both quiet for a moment except for the uneven drag of your breathing, your body still twitching faintly around him as you came down. Daryl was looking at you, no, into you, hair falling around his face, eyes dark and soft in a way Merle had never seen on him before.
And he probably should have taken the mercy and escaped before his eyes, ears, and remaining sanity suffered any further damage.
But then Daryl spoke - so softly it was worse than anything that had come before. “Hey,” he murmured. “Look at me.”
You made some little boneless sound that might have been protest and might have been your soul reentering your body.
Daryl huffed, almost a laugh, but his voice stayed low and gentle. “C’mon. Come back to me.”
Merle’s mouth parted. Come back to me?
Who the hell was this man, and what had he done with Daryl?
Inside the cell, the cot shifted. Daryl must have eased you back up from where your head had been hanging over the edge, because Merle heard the soft drag of the sheet, the little scrape of the mattress springs, your breath catching like even being moved felt like too much after what his brother had just done to you. There was a low murmur Merle couldn’t make out, Daryl’s voice tucked down close to your skin, followed by the gentlest rustle of fabric as he pulled the sheet higher over you.
Then he kissed you. Once on the mouth. Again on your cheek. Then your temple.
Then lower, somewhere near your jaw, slow and aimless, not hungry anymore, not trying to start anything back up, just lingering there like he had forgotten the part where people were supposed to separate after. Like he had no idea what to do with all the love still moving through him except keep putting his mouth on you in every place he could reach.
“You with me?” Daryl asked, voice rough and quiet.
You made a weak little sound, half laugh, half sigh, still wrecked around the edges. “Barely.”
“Mm.” There was a smile in his voice now, small and private and so unlike him in daylight that Merle’s stomach twisted again. “Good enough.”
You laughed, loose and drunken with it, and then your breath hitched into something softer when Daryl kissed down the side of your throat, just because he could. Because you were his. Because apparently Daryl was the polar opposite of his brother; he actually stuck around after sex to nuzzle like some lovesick idiot instead of rolling over, passing out, or, in Merle’s preferred tradition, getting dressed and fleeing the scene.
Daryl kissed your shoulder. Your collarbone. The corner of your mouth again when you turned your head toward him
Then you made a small surprised squeak when he nosed your ticklish s nbpot and shoved weakly at him. “No, no—Daryl, not there.”
He huffed, amused. “What?”
“You know what. You do that on purpose.”
“Dunno what you mean.”
He kissed the ticklish spot again.
You giggled. Actually giggled, breathless and boneless beneath him, and Merle pressed his head back against the wall with a silent expression of profound suffering.
Because this was somehow worse than the sex. The sex had been bad enough. Horrifying. Educational in ways he had not consented to. A full visual assault he would be invoicing the universe for at a later date.
But this topped that.
This was doting. That was the only word Merle had for it, and he hated it. His brother was doting on you like a damn wimp, still tangled up in your warmth, still clinging like he hadn’t had enough even after having all of you. Daryl had one arm braced around you, keeping you tucked beneath him, while the other kept fussing in small, almost unconscious ways: smoothing your hair from your damp face, dragging the sheet over your bare hip, thumb brushing your cheek like he needed proof you were still there. He moved slow, too slow, like he didn’t know how to stop loving you once he’d started. Like twenty-four hours in a day still wasn’t enough time near you. Like even after all that, even after being inside you, finishing inside you, hearing you say those filthy, sweet things in his ear, he still wanted another minute.
Your hands were in his hair now, lazy and trembling, fingers scratching softly at his scalp while you smiled up at him like you were drunk on the shape of his face. Merle could hear it in your voice when you teased him, low and warm and utterly ruined. “I love it when you get like this,” you whispered.
Daryl’s answer was muffled against your skin. “ Like what.”
“All clingy and sleepy. Like a Sloth.”
“Ain’t clingy,” he huffed, nestling into you further.
You made another soft sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, and Daryl kissed it quiet before it could become anything else.
Merle stared at the opposite wall like it had personally betrayed him.
Because he could make jokes about fucking. He could make jokes about sneaking around. He could even,make jokes about his brother apparently understanding Spanish when properly motivated.
But he had no joke for this.
Daryl checking your face like you were something precious. Daryl coaxing you back down from whatever cloud he had sent you to, murmuring to you as if he knew exactly how far he had pushed you and exactly how carefully he had to bring you back. Daryl, who could barely accept tenderness without acting like it burned, giving it to you like it belonged in his hands.
Your voice came again, quieter now, rough around the edges and sweet with exhaustion.
“Te amo,” you whispered, stroking his face.
There was nothing but silence for a beat.
Then Daryl, so low Merle felt like a criminal for hearing it, answered, “Love ya too.”
Merle pressed both palms to the wall and seriously considered walking beyond the prison fences unarmed, because being eaten alive by walkers was preferable to this. Ok thats a bit dramatic but point is he’s going to have to wash his eyes with soap.
Merle couldn’t stomach seeing anymore but he could hear things, like the springs complaining again when the two of you shift. When there’s a longs pause he almost looks in tong delighted.
“Stay a minute,” you whispered.
“Yeah,” Daryl answered in a hush. “Ok.”
Merle flattened himself against the wall, eyes wide, apparently just realising now that he had seen something he had no business seeing and couldn’t unsee.
Daryl was supposed to be a useful stray the group had kept around because he could hunt and kill and take a punch, not someone who was in love with some random Latina.
Slowly he left, because apparently his legs had decided to process the trauma separately from the rest of him, then faster once he realised he was still standing within hearing distance like some kind of pervert with a death wish. He made it halfway down the catwalk before remembering he had originally been on his way to piss.
He stopped. Considered it.
Then kept walking because apparently his bladder had retreated out of respect for the situation.
He made it back to his cell, climbed into his bunk, and lay flat on his back staring at the ceiling like the cracked concrete might split open and swallow him out of pure pity. It did not. Instead, his brain — traitorous, diseased organ that it was — kept replaying every goddamn thing he had seen in bright, unforgivable detail: your legs hooked high around his baby brother like you were trying to keep him there permanently, Daryl’s hand groping your breasts and disappearing between your thighs with the confidence of a man who very clearly knew what he was doing, the sick slap and slick grind of his hips, the cot knocking and his cock rocking into you, your head hanging off the mattress while you moaned Daryl’s name like the bastard had personally invented heaven. Merle squeezed his eyes shut, which somehow made it worse, because now there was nothing to look at except the memory of Daryl’s ass moving with purpose and your hands grabbing at it like you were giving tactical encouragement. “Jesus H. Christ,” he muttered, pressing the heel of his palm into his eye socket hard enough to see stars. He had seen a lot of shit. He had seen walkers eating people alive. He had seen men lose limbs, screaming bloody murder. None of that had prepared him for discovering, against his will and through a fluttering sheet, that his skittish little brother fucked like a man possessed and that the loud-mouthed Latina who called Merle a pendejo ten times a day was the reason Daryl kept sneaking back into bed looking half-dead and happier than a pig in mud.
A long time later, near dawn, he heard the curtain down the corridor shift.
Merle stilled, listening to the careful placement of boots, the pause at the entrance, the slow, controlled breath that meant Daryl was checking whether his brother was passed out. Then Daryl slipped inside, crossed to his bed, and eased down with the caution of someone who had done this many times before.
Merle kept still, his eyes shut, until he thought: should I say something?
It would have been easy. One crude comment, one mention of your name in that tone he knew made Daryl see red, and the whole secret would have blown wide open. He could have ruined it right there,and ruining things was one of the few talents Merle had practiced enough to call a craft.
But he didn’t; he held his tongue.
Because, lying there in the grey dark with his brother settling into the bed, probably still smelling like you, Merle understood one simple, terrible thing.
You made Daryl happy. Hell, he saw it plain as day. Daryl is the happiest merle has ever seen him, and that was because of you.
So for once in his miserable life, Merle Dixon shut the hell up and went to sleep.
In the courtyard, silence held for a beat after Merle finished.
Not the ordinary kind of silence that came when people were trying to decide whether they were allowed to laugh yet.. The kind that sat on your chest and shoulders. It settled over the yard in a way that made even the walkers at the fence sound farther away for a second, their groans dulled beneath the soft drip of laundry water falling back into the tub and the low hiss of Carol’s grill behind you.
You had stopped moving entirely, both hands sunk beneath the cloudy surface, fingers curled around nothing.
Your heart was beating harder than it should have been.
Not just from embarrassment, although God knew there was plenty of that. Your face felt hot enough to steam. Your stomach had folded itself into a tight, mortified little knot, and every person standing within earshot might as well have been staring directly at you in your birthday suit.
But it was not only embarrassment but the strangeness of it too. The tenderness Merle had smuggled into the story despite himself. The thought of him hearing Daryl say he loved you before anyone else even knew Daryl had that kind of softness in him. The thought of that secret, that fragile, moonlit thing that had belonged only to the two of you, having existed somewhere outside your cell without being immediately squashed.
Everything just felt unervingly exposed.
Daryl, though—
Daryl had gone still beside you in a way that made the back of your neck prickle.
At first, it looked like embarrassment. The red at the tips of his ears. The tight set of his mouth. The way his gaze had dropped to the water as if he could drown the entire conversation in the wash tub by glaring hard enough.
Then the stillness changed.
It sharpened.
The blush drained out of him piece by piece, leaving something colder behind. His shoulders had squared without him seeming to notice. His jaw had locked so tight you could see the muscle jumping beneath the stubble. His hands were still in the tub, but they were no longer washing anything. They were clenched around the shirt beneath the water, twisting it slowly, steadily, until the fabric creaked under the pressure.
Patrick, sweet, doomed Patrick, spoke from somewhere behind Carol. “So…” he said carefully, voice small with the awful curiosity of someone who knew he should stop asking questions and had no ability to save himself. “You knew because you heard them?”
Carol closed her eyes. “I told you to go.”
“I did,” Patrick said. “Briefly.”
“Go again.”
But it was too late.
Because before Merle could turn Patrick’s question into something even worse, Daryl cut through the air like a blade.
“You were spyin’ like a damn perv”
The words came out flat.
No embarrassed mutter. No rough little shut up tossed across the yard to cover the fact that he was flustered.. This was stripped down to the bone, cold and quiet and dangerous enough that Glenn straightened where he stood, and Carol’s attention snapped from Patrick to Daryl’s face.
Merle heard the danger.
And because Merle Dixon had never once seen a burning house without wondering how it would feel to pour whiskey on it, he leaned right into it. “I was walkin’.”
Daryl lifted his eyes.
“You looked”, Daryl barked.
“Curtain moved.”
“You kept lookin’!”
Merle spread one hand, all false innocence and rotten timing. “Hell, I thought somebody was in distress. Had to make sure.”
You closed your eyes and dragged one wet hand down your face. “Merle.”
“What?” he said, grin curling through his voice. “Ain’t my fault Darylina picked a room without soundproofin’.”
Daryl’s hand tightened under the water.
The shirt gave a faint, strained squeak.
Your stomach dropped.
You knew Daryl angry. You knew the flare of him, the snap, the way his temper could bark out quick and ugly when somebody startled him or pushed too close to a bruise. You knew his embarrassment too, the way it made him mean for half a second because softness felt too much like standing naked in a doorway.
This was neither. Merle had not only embarrassed him. He had trespassed.
That was the only word for it. Trespassed over something Daryl had guarded with his whole body. Something private. Something holy in the ruined little religion the two of you had built out of stolen time, closed curtains, and hands learning how to love without flinching.
Merle had seen you.
Not just your body, though that was bad enough. Bad enough to make Daryl’s skin crawl, to make his blood boil in his veins, because the thought of Merle having any image of you like that branded behind his eyes made Daryl want to claw it out of him by force.
But worse than that, Merle had seen the way Daryl got to have you.
The way you trusted him. The way you opened for him. The way you looked at him when there was no one else in the world. And now he was sitting there with jerky in his hand, turning it into a show.
Merle saw the shift in Daryl and smiled anyway.
That was the awful thing about him. He knew exactly where the line was. He could see it painted bright red across the ground. He could hear everyone around him silently begging him not to step over it. Then he would look Daryl dead in the eye, grin like the devil had personally sponsored him, and put both boots across.
“Besides,” Merle went on, jerky caught between his fingers, “hard not to look. Y’all were makin’ enough noise to scare the dead off the fence.”
Patrick’s eyes went round.
Glenn made a strangled sound.
Carol said, sharp as a slap, “Merle.”
Your face burned so hot it almost hurt. You could feel every drop of blood under your skin, could feel the wet cuff of your sleeve sticking to your wrist, could feel the whole courtyard holding its breath around you. Fofew seconds you wanted to dunk your head into the wash tub and vanish beneath the cloudy water like a very undignified baptism.
Daryl threw the shirt aside, hitting the dirt with a wet slap.
You looked at him. “Daryl,” you warned.
But he didn’t look at you, which frightened you more than if he had.
His eyes were locked on Merle, and there was nothing brotherly in them anymore. His whole body seemed to have gone narrow with purpose, like every bit of him had been pulled into one hard line aimed directly at the jerk sitting on the bucket.
Merle’s grin twitched wider, but there was a flicker in his eyes now.
Almost wary. Like he had gotten what he wanted and was starting to realise he might have pulled too hard.
“Aw, c’mon,” Merle said, still pushing because apparently self-preservation had been cut out of him at birth. “Don’t get sore. I’m complimentin’ ya. Didn’t know you had it in ya, little brother.”
Daryl sprung up and stormed across the space towards his brother, water dripping from his fingers, shoulders squared, head dipped just enough that his hair cast his eyes into shadow.
Merle pushed up from the bucket, not fully standing at first, just lifting his weight enough to show he was not scared, or maybe enough to convince himself of it.“What?” Merle said. “She weren’t exactly complainin’.”
Daryl moved so fast the bucket skidded backward before Merle was fully on his feet.
One second there was space between them, the next Daryl had a fist twisted in the front of Merle’s shirt and had driven him back against the nearest post hard enough to make the metal rattle. The sound cracked across the courtyard, sharp and ugly, and everything else seemed to drop away: the walkers, the grill, the wet laundry, Patrick’s startled breath, Glenn’s muttered curse.
Your heart punched into your throat. “Daryl!”
His face was inches from Merle’s, his knuckles white in the fabric, wound so tight it looked painful. Merle’s grin had vanished now, replaced by the bright-eyed tension of a man who knew very well that he was no longer only playing.
“Don’t,” Daryl said.
One word. Barely more than a rasp.
Merle swallowed.
You saw it. The tiny movement of his throat. The first honest crack in the performance.
Daryl shoved him harder into the post. “How many times I gotta tell you to mind ya damn business.”
Merle’s eyes flicked toward you. Wrong move.
Daryl jerked him forward and slammed him back again, harder this time and much more deliberate, his voice dropping into something so low and venomous it made your stomach twist.
“Don’t even look at her.”
That hit the yard like a warning shot.
Because there it was. The thing beneath all of it. Not embarrassment. Not being teased. Not even Merle making jokes at his expense.
It was you.
It was Merle’s eyes on you in that memory. Merle’s mouth wrapped around it now. Merle dragging one of the most private things Daryl had ever had into the dirt for everyone to laugh at. It was the idea that someone like Merle had seen your face tipped back in moonlight, had heard your voice break, had witnessed Daryl loving you in the only space where he had ever been brave enough to do it without armour.
Daryl looked sick with rage.
“You had no damn right,” he said, each word scraped raw. “Knew I shoulda never let you back in.”
For once, Merle did not answer immediately.
His chest rose and fell against Daryl’s fist. His eyes searched his brother’s face, maybe for the old pattern, maybe for the game, maybe for the part where this was still just two Dixons circling each other with teeth bared because that was easier than saying anything true.
But Daryl was not playing around.
And maybe before Merle would’ve gone off about family, how he’s all he’s got, that he is the one who’s been there for him through thick and thin, but that wasn't true anymore. He has a family. He has you.
Merle’s jaw worked. “…Didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”
“Bullshit,” Daryl spat.
“Daryl,” you said again, stepping closer now, careful with your voice, because you could feel the violence coiled in him and knew that if you grabbed at him too fast he might mistake touch for restraint and snap harder.
His shoulders twitched but not enough to turn.
You took another step. “Look at me.”
Merle, because he was Merle and apparently had a talent for choosing death twice in one conversation, muttered, “Should’ve known it was her from the noise alone. Ain’t that what they say about Latinas?” his eyes slid to yours, head tilting. “All mouth till you get ’em on their back?”
Daryl’s fist reared back.
Glenn surged forward. “Whoa—”
Carol snapped, “Daryl!”
And then Rick’s voice cut across the yard,“Daryl!”
Rick’s voice boomed, carrying that clean, sheriff-weight authority that made half the courtyard freeze on instinct.
Daryl’s fist stayed suspended for one terrible second, Merle’s eyes locked on it.
Rick crossed the yard fast, boots crunching over gravel, one hand lifted but not touching yet. He knew better than to grab Daryl from behind. His gaze flicked from Merle pinned against the post, to Daryl’s white-knuckled grip, to you standing in the spill of laundry water with your face hotter than the sun.
“What happened?” Rick asked.
Nobody answered.
Merle opened his mouth.
Daryl shoved him once more into the post, and Rick stepped in closer.
“Daryl,” he said again, lower now. “Let him go.”
Daryl’s breathing was rough through his nose. His eyes were still on Merle, burning so hard you almost wished Merle would look away for his own sake.
You reached him then, touching his wrist where his fist was tangled in Merle’s shirt.
“Hey,” you whispered. “Mírame.”
His jaw flexed.
“Please,” you said, softer.
That did the trick.
Daryl’s eyes flicked toward you for half a second.
The rage didn’t leave his face, but something inside it cracked open, and the sight of you — embarrassed, shaken, still choosing to come close to him instead of backing away — pulled him back from whatever edge Merle had shoved him toward.
Slowly, Daryl let go. Merle’s shirt fell wrinkled against his chest.
Then Daryl stepped back, but only far enough to put himself between you and Merle.
His wet hand found yours without looking, fingers closing around you with a grip that wasn’t soft but desperate in its restraint. Like if he could hold onto you, he might keep from putting his fist through his brother’s face after all.
Merle rubbed at his chest, breathing hard, the grin gone.
Rick’s eyes stayed on Daryl, whose stare didn’t leave Merle.
You squeezed Daryl’s hand and he finally looked down at you, really looked, and whatever he saw on your face made his anger twist into something more painful. His mouth parted like he wanted to say something, maybe apologize, maybe ask if you were okay, maybe promise to keep Merle on a tighter leash, as if you hadn’t heard that one before.
Rick exhaled through his nose, shifting on his feet.“We really don’t need a repeat of last month.”
Patrick, who had apparently still not learned that curiosity killed the cat, looked between all of you. “What happened last month?”
Carol’s mouth flattened. “Merle was a shocking human being”
There was really no defending himself, so Merle actually stayed quiet.
Rick looked tired already, like the memory itself had given him a headache. “It was an afternoon in the yard,” he said. “Quiet day, mostly. I was workin the field…”
Merle scoffed. “Oh, here we go.”
Rick ignored him.
Which was usually the safest way to begin any story involving Merle Dixon.
It had been one of those lazy prison afternoons; the yard shimmered under the sun, pale concrete pale as a sheet, the air thick enough that breathing felt like pulling cloth through your lungs. The kids had been let out for a while because keeping them cooped up in the cell block only turned them feral, and they were scattered near the tables with whatever scraps of childhood could still be scraped together: a half-flat ball, some chalk, a few sticks being used as swords by children who had seen enough real violence to make pretend violence seem like a simple game to pass the time.
Daryl had been nearby, crouched beside his bike with a rag in one hand and a tool in the other, pretending with the dedication of a liar that he was not glancing at you every few minutes.
Apart from being a decent human being, Merle had no reason to watch his mouth around you for Daryl’s sake because he was oblivious about the two of you.
And apparently kids were no exception to his crudeness.
Elena had been playing with the younger kids.
She was about seven or eight years old, small for her age, with long dark hair that never stayed tied back and big solemn eyes that had seen too much before she ever reached the prison gates. She had come from Woodbury with no family left, folded into the crowd by people kind enough to keep her fed but not always able to understand her. Her English came in pieces, every sentence a little bridge she had to build before she could cross it.
Spanish was easier. It was home. So naturally, she found you. Or maybe you found each other.
It had started with you translating what she wanted but couldn’t say. You asking if she wanted water. You crouching beside her at the dinner telling her it was ok for her to grab as much food as she wanted when she looked too nervous to take a decent portion size. Then one day she had come to you with a small beaded bracelet that she had spent all afternoon making for you, and after that, it was over. Elena attached herself to you with the quiet desperation of a child who had finally found their family again.
That afternoon, she was running after the ball when she tripped. One second she was laughing, hair flying behind her, and the next she hit the dirt hard, knees first, palms scraping over gravel. For half a breath there was stunned silence. Then her face crumpled.
The cry came out high and frightened.
“Me duele,” she sobbed, clutching her knee. “Me duele mucho.”
Carl, standing nearby with the ball tucked under one arm, shifted awkwardly. He had been younger than he acted and older than he should have been, which made him terrible at deciding what to do with other children’s pain.
“It’s just a scrape,” he said, not cruelly, but too blunt. “You gotta toughen up. Stop being a baby”
“Carl,” you said, walking over.
He looked over, defensive already.
You weren’t angry with him. That was the thing. Carl had been through so much, forced to turn tough in places children were supposed to stay soft, and sometimes he forgot that not everybody had been sharpened the same way.
“Not everyone is tough as nails like you are,” you told him, gentler now. “Let her cry.”
Carl looked down at the dirt , then back up at you. “You’re tough,” he said, eyes squinting at you in the sun. “When did you stop crying?”
“Huh,” you pondered. “Well I still cry so I must not be so tough then.” You squeezed his shoulder as you passed. “Tough people cry too mijo. Remember that.”
You dropped to your knees beside Elena.
“Ay, mi vida,” you murmured, reaching for her carefully. “Ven aquí. Déjame ver.”
Elena launched herself into you before you could inspect anything, little arms wrapping around your neck, face pressing into your shoulder as she cried. You gathered her close without hesitation, one hand cupping the back of her head, the other smoothing over her hair while she sobbed into your shirt.
“Me duele,” she whimpered.
“Lo sé, lo sé.” Your voice softened until it was barely more than a hum beneath the afternoon noise.“Respira conmigo, ¿sí? Inhala… eso es. Exhala. Muy bien, mi niña valiente.”
Daryl looked up from the bike when he heard your voice changed when you spoke to Elena. The Spanish he knew from you usually came sharp or laughing, thrown over your shoulder at Merle, muttered under your breath when a door stuck, whispered against Daryl’s mouth in moments he tried not to think about in broad daylight. This was different. This was warm and low and almost whimsical, the words wrapping around the crying child like a blanket.
Something tightened behind his ribs.
He watched you wipe Elena’s tears with your thumbs, watched you inspect her scraped knee, watched the girl’s breathing slow because you were there, because you understood her, because for one small moment in a prison full of strangers she had someone who sounded like family.
Daryl swallowed. He didn’t have a name for the feeling and that was probably for the best.
Then Merle walked by and decided to be a piece of shit.
“The hell’s all that?” Merle said.
You glanced up, still crouched beside Elena. “Comforting a child. Try not to be frightened.”
Merle’s lip curled. “Comfort her in English.”
For a second, you genuinely thought you had misheard him. Not because Merle saying something ignorant was shocking. Merle said ignorant things more often than not. But interrupting a crying child to complain about what language she was being comforted in took a special kind of commitment to being a dick.
You blinked at him. “She understands me in Spanish.”
“Ain’t the point.”
“It is literally the entire point.”
Elena sniffled against you, looking between your face and Merle’s with nervous confusion. She didn’t understand all the words, but she understood tone.
Your jaw tightened. You could take Merle’s bullshit. You had dealt with versions of it your whole life from people (mostly men) who thought their ignorance was a personality, from people who heard Spanish and immediately assumed everything they needed to know about you without even asking. You knew the look. The assumption sitting under every word that he was more valid here than you, more entitled to the space, more reasonable, more deserving, more worth listening to because he had been born into a language he had never bothered learning properly himself.
You could take it, but not in front of Elena.
You turned back to her and softened your voice on purpose. “Ve con Carol, mi amor. Dile que necesitas agua y algo para limpiar la rodilla, ¿sí?”
Elena hesitated, eyes flicking to Merle.
“¿Está enojado conmigo?” she whispered.
Your heart twisted.
“No, chiquita.” You brushed her hair back from her wet cheek and smiled. “Está enojado porque no sabe cerrar la boca.”
Elena stared at you for half a second.
Then she giggled.
Daryl’s mouth twitched despite the warning already crawling up his spine.
Merle narrowed his eyes. “You talkin’ shit?”
You looked up at him sweetly. “Always.”
Elena limped toward Carol, who had already started moving in her direction. Only once Elena was out of reach did you stand.
Merle folded his arms. “I said speak English.”
“And I ignored you.” You dusted off your knees. “Look at us. Growing as people.”
“Smart mouth.”
“You keep saying that like it’s a discovery.”
“You people always this difficult?”
The yard seemed to still by a degree.
Daryl’s hand froze on the wrench.
Your expression didn’t change, but something in your eyes sharpened. “You people,” you repeated.
Merle shrugged, already doubling down because that was what people like him did when they felt the floor tilt under them. “Yeah. You people.”
“Define that.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
His grin flickered, irritated now. “Don’t get all fiery on me.”
“Oh, fiery,” you said, nodding slowly.
“See? That. That right there.” He pointed at you like you had proved something. “Always gotta turn everything into a whole thing.” He titled his head, an ugly grin forming on his face. “You just wantin’ Merle’s attention huh mamacita?” Yikes.
“I was comforting a child,” you said flatly.
“You were jabberin’.”
“I was speaking Spanish.”
“Same difference when nobody knows what the hell you’re sayin’.”
You stepped closer.
Enough to make Daryl’s whole body go full alert beside the bike.
“Don’t call my language jabbering when English is no better.”
Merle’s eyes dragged over you with the ugly confidence of. someone who thought the world had given him permission to take up as much space as he wanted. “What, you gonna teach me a lesson?”
“I could,,” you shrugged. “Someone has to.
He barked a laugh. “That right? You Mexicans always this dramatic?”
“Why do you assume every Spanish-speaking person is Mexican?”
“What else is there?”
“Wow you are just a dumb redneck huh?”
His face changed as if you had just slapped him. Taste of his own medicine tasted like shit apparently. The look of Merle’s expression was so appalled and angry it made Daryl abandon his tools and stand — not fully forward yet, but up, wrench hanging at his side, gaze fixed on his brother.
You didn’t look at Daryl; if you did, he would move, and you wanted to handle this yourself for as long as Merle kept it aimed at you.
“Are you allergic to thinking?” You asked genuinely.
Merle’s grin twisted. “Aw, c’mon. Don’t be so sensitive. Maybe you’re just grumpy ’cause you ain’t had your tacos yet.”
You laughed once, no humor in it at all. Well maybe a little because it was a shit dig. Tacos. Really??
“Oooooh, burn. That’s a good one,” you said. “Okay, hick. Why don’t you go make love to your truck and cry into a can of warm beer because your daddy didn’t hug you enough?”
Carol looked down at Elena’s knee and very deliberately did not smile.
Merle’s face darkened. If that was merle’s reaction you just prayed Daryl didn’t hear that..
“You think you’re real cute.”
“I know I am.”
Then he said the inevitable. “You got a lotta mouth for a little bean.”
That one stung a little, but you didn’t let it show. Why it shocked you he would stoop to that level you weren't sure - but one thing was for ure, you weren't just gonna roll over and take it. “You’ve got a lot of nerve for a man with a toothpick for a hand.”
Daryl coughed once.
It might have been a laugh strangled to death.
Merle’s eyes snapped toward Daryl, then back to you, and something meaner moved across his face because now he was not only angry, he was embarrassed. In front of you. In front of Daryl. In front of Carol, Glenn, the kids, half the yard.
“Careful,” Merle said, stepping closer. “You ain’t as scary as you think you are.”
You held your ground. “Neither are you.”
“Maybe somebody oughta remind you where you are.”
“Prison yard. End of the world. Surrounded by people who are somehow still less exhausting than you.”
What could’ve happened next was anyone’s guess, but Daryl wasn’t taking any chances. Daryl started moving,,slowly at first. Merle either didn’t notice or pretended not to.
“This is America,” Merle snapped, voice rising. “Or it was, last I checked. We speak English here.”
You tilted your head. “Last I checked, the dead are walking and the government is gone, so I think America has bigger problems than how I communicate.”
“Maybe teach the little orphan English,” he shot back, “instead of keepin’ her scared and clingy with that foreign crap.”
When he brought Elena up that final time - that was the line.
Little elena who finally had a voice in the chaos thanks to you . And he called her a little orphan like her loss was ironic. Because he took the one thing that she still had, that soothed her through it all and spat on it like it was dirty.
Your hand twitched at your side.
Daryl reached him before you could.
One second Merle was standing in front of you. The next, Daryl was between you, shoving his brother hard enough in the chest that Merle stumbled back two full steps. “Back off.”
Merle caught himself, eyes flashing. “Hell, you Mexican too now brother?”
Daryl shoved him again, harder this time.
Merle’s back hit one of the yard posts with a dull metallic clang.“I said back off.”
Merle’s face twisted, pride smarting more than his body. “Oh I see. You tryna impress you’re lil Spanish friend so she’ll do ya, is that it?”
Daryl’s fist drew back.
Rick caught his arm before it landed, barely.
“Daryl.”
Daryls eyes stayed trained on Merle, flat and furious, his chest moving hard with each breath. “You hearin’ this shit?.”
“I heard him,” Rick said, voice low.
“Then do somethin’.”
For a second, nobody spoke. The yard had gone silent except for Elena’s quiet sniffles near Carol and the distant dead at the fence. Merle’s eyes flicked around, looking for a joke, an exit, a way to make himself the victim in a fight he had built.
Rick stepped fully between them. Then he looked at Merle. Not with irritation but disgust.
“You don’t speak to our people like that,” Rick said. “You keep this up I’ll handcuff you to another roof. See how you do with no hands.”
Merle opened his mouth.
Rick stepped closer. “Try me.”
Merle shut it.
Daryl’s arm was still tense in Rick’s grip, but his eyes shifted toward you for the first time since he had moved. The fury in him changed when he saw your face.
You hated that.
You hated that Merle could make you feel exposed with a handful of lazy words. You hated that Daryl had heard them. You hated the heat in your throat, the humiliation sitting under your tongue, the fact that Elena had almost heard enough to understand she was being talked about like a burden.
“I had it handled,” you said eventually,
Daryl’s mouth tightened. “Know that.”
“You didn’t have to—”
“Know that too.”
His voice was rough, but not defensive. More like he was trying to speak without letting the anger spill out between his teeth.
Rick released his arm slowly. Daryl didn’t move toward Merle again, but he did angle himself in front of you. Just a little.
Carol guided Elena away, one hand on the girl’s shoulder, but not before Elena looked back at you with wide, worried eyes.
You forced yourself to smile. “Estoy bien,” you called softly. “Ve con Carol.”
Elena hesitated. Then she nodded.
Merle watched her go, jaw working, and for one fleeting second something almost like shame passed across his face. Then it was gone.
Back in the present, Rick finished with a tired look at Patrick.
“That is what happened last month,” he said, “Like Déjà vu.”
The courtyard had gone quiet again, but not the kind that came after Merle said something crude and everyone waited for the punchline. This one sat heavy over the wash tub, over the grill, over Daryl’s hand resting too still beside yours.
Patrick looked horrified. “He said that to a kid?”
“Near a kid,” Merle muttered.
You looked at him. He stared at the dirt.
Carol’s voice came dry and sharp from the grill. “That distinction is not helping you.”
Glenn shifted uncomfortably. “It really isn’t.”
Merle scratched at his jaw, trying for a scoff and not quite finding one. “Everybody was sensitive that day,” he tried again.
“No,” you said. Your voice was calm enough that everyone looked at you. “That’s enough.”
Rick’s eyes stayed on Merle. “You were warned then.”
Carol looked over. “He’s not getting much better,” she said like he wasn’t there. Funny how this all started with talking about how Merle was managed; well it looks like the jury is still out on that one.
You felt Daryl practically vibrating beside you, anger banked under his skin, not as wild as it had been a month ago but still there, ready, carrying every version of Merle’s mouth like it was something Daryl had personally failed to keep away from you.
And suddenly you were tired. So tired it hollowed you out.
The joke had gone out of the morning. The story had too. The laundry water was cold around your wrists, your knees ached from crouching, and the courtyard felt too crowded with everyone’s eyes, everyone’s judgment, everyone waiting to see whether your patience would finally give out and let Merle have it.
You pulled your hands from the tub.
“I don’t feel well,” you said.
Daryl turned instantly. “You sick?”
“No.” You wiped your wet hands down your thighs and stood. “Just tired.”
His face changed in that small, painful way it did when he understood there was something wrong he could not shoot, track, fix, or carry for you.
You touched his shoulder lightly before he could stand. “I’m just gonna lie down for a bit.”
He looked like he hated the idea. But he nodded.
You walked away from the wash tub without looking back at Merle. The courtyard stayed silent behind you.
The morning had already broken apart. Patrick, pale with the terrible privilege of having learned too much about your lives had taken over scraping down the grill with the desperate focus of someone trying to become useful enough to avoid further conversing. Glenn lingered near the table only long enough to mutter something about checking inventory for the run, then wisely made himself scarce. Carol watched you disappear through the cell block doors, her mouth pressed into a thin line, and then she looked back at Merle with the kind of quiet disappointment that somehow felt sharper than any knife.
“I’m going to check on the kids,” she said.
Merle tried for a scoff. “What, got your own storytime to host?”
Carol didn’t smile. “Something like that.” Then she left too.
That thinned the yard down to Rick standing with his arms folded, Daryl still squared up in front of Merle with his clothes still sodden, and Merle standing uncomfortably against the pillar, suddenly very interested in the dirt by his boots.
Daryl didn’t move for a long second.
When he did it wasn’t with the explosive anger from before. That might have been easier. That might have given Merle something to push back against, some familiar Dixon shape to twist into a fight. But Daryl turned slowly, shoulders tight, jaw working like he was chewing through every word before trusting himself to let it out.
Merle looked up. “What?”
“You know what,” Daryl bit out, voice deep and gravely.
“Fraid ur gonna have to tell me,” Merle said slowly,as if wringing out the last of his brother’s patience.
Daryl’s mouth tightened. “Don’t play dumb.”
Rick shifted slightly, but he didn’t step in yet.
Daryl took half a step closer, water dripping from his fingers into the dust. “You know what she means to me.”
Merle’s face twitched..
“You know,” Daryl repeated, voice rougher now, quieter too, like every word had to scrape its way out of him. “Ain’t some damn joke. Ain’t just you runnin’ your mouth. You know how much —” He stopped, swallowed hard, eyes flicking away for half a breath before coming back colder. “You know.”
Merle’s jaw shifted. “I didn’t mean—”
“Yeah, ya did.” The words landed flat.
Merle shut his mouth. Because yeah, he did.
Daryl looked toward the cell block doors where you had vanished, and something painful moved across his face before he hid it. “She keeps tryin’ with you.”
Merle huffed, but there was no strength in it. “She gives as good as she gets.”
“That ain’t the point.”
“She don’t need you fightin’ her battles.”
“I know she don’t.” Daryl’s head snapped back to him, voice sharpening. “That ain’t what this is. She don’t need me to. But I ain’t gonna stand there while you keep cuttin’ at her.”
Merle looked away.
Daryl stepped closer.
“You think ’cause she can take it, that means you get to keep doin’ it.” His voice dropped again, rough with restraint. “She only puts up with your shit cuz o’ me. Lord knows I wish she wouldn’t.”
Merle’s eyes flicked back. There was no joke ready this time.
Daryl’s expression twisted, anger and guilt tangled so tightly together they looked like the same wound. “You know how that feels? Watchin’ her swallow your shit because of me?”
Merle’s face hardened out of habit, but it didn’t hold right.
Daryl stared at him for another long second, then shook his head once, small and bitter. “You keep this up, somethin’s gonna give.”
Merle looked up. “That a threat?”
Daryl’s eyes did not move. “It’s the way it is.”
The yard seemed to still around it.
“Something changes,” Daryl said. “I don’t care what. You learn when to shut your damn mouth. You get along with her or stay away I don’t care. Or you take your shit somewhere else. Either way somethin’ changes.”
Merle swallowed, throat bobbing under the shadow of his jaw. “You really picking a girl over your brother?”
“I picked you once,” he said, voice low. “Look how that turned out.”
Daryl leaned in slightly, not enough to crowd him, but enough that Merle could not mistake the weight of it. “’I choose her.”
Rick finally moved then, stepping into the edge of the space between them, not blocking Daryl, just adding the quiet force of his presence. “He’s right,” Rick said.
Merle’s mouth twisted. “Course he is.”
“No.” Rick’s voice hardened. “Listen to me. This isn’t about choosing sides in some family feud. You keep doing this, you become a problem for the whole group.”
Merle scoffed weakly. “Because I hurt some feelings?”
“Because you make people unsafe.” Rick’s gaze didn’t waver. “It’s a habit of yours. You start shit, and then you act surprised when people don’t like you for it.”
Merle’s shoulders sank by a fraction, almost too small to notice.
Rick continued, quieter now. “You want to stay here, make yourself useful. Be better. But don’t mistake people tolerating you for permission to keep being an asshole.”
Merle stared at the dirt again, the bucket suddenly looking less like a throne and more like exactly what it was: a stupid place for a grown man to sit after driving away one of the few people who still bothered speaking to him.
Daryl wiped his wet hands down the front of his pants. “I’m goin’ to check on her,” he said.
No one stopped him.
Merle’s eyes lifted once, quick and uncertain. “Oh cmon Daryl,” he drawled, feigning casualness.
Daryl paused.
For a second, the old rhythm waited there. Merle could have made it worse. Could have tossed out one more joke , one more jab to prove he was still untouchable, one more ugly little thing dressed up as humor because he didn’t care about these people. He should say something now just to prove so.
But he didn’t.
Daryl looked at him, and whatever he saw there did not soften him exactly, but it made the disgust in his face ache with something older.
“Figure it out,” Daryl said.
Then he turned and walked toward the cell block after you, his steps quickening the closer he got to the doors, as if he was worried the longer he didnt say anything the more you would question which side he was on.
Rick stayed a moment longer.
Merle didn’t dare look at him.
The walkers groaned faintly at the fence. Somewhere inside, Carol’s voice rose in that calm, steady way she used with children. Patrick scraped at the grill with unnecessary intensity. The yard moved on around Merle, but not toward him.
For once, nobody filled the silence for him.
And Merle Dixon was left alone again from chasing everyone away, with the taste of guilt sitting sour behind his teeth. How the fuck wa he gonna fix this one?
Daryl found you in the cell the two of you had stopped pretending wasn’t shared.
He stood in the doorway for a few seconds before he stepped in, one hand curled loosely around the edge of the curtain, his eyes adjusting to the dimmer light inside. The cell was a mess in a specific, intimate way that only two people could create. His vest was slung over the back of a chair. A few of your shirts had somehow ended up half under the cot, a sleeve reaching out like it was trying to escape. There were socks on the floor that belonged to both of you, a pile of clothes gathered at the foot of the bed, a knife belt hanging from the corner post, one of Daryl’s spare bolts tucked on the little crate you used as a table, and your boots kicked crooked beneath it. Neither of you really cared until you needed one very specific piece of clothing and suddenly the whole place became a crime scene.
You were lying on your side with your back half turned to the door, curled loosely on top of the blanket, one arm tucked under your head and your hair falling over part of your face. You hadn’t drawn the curtain fully shut after coming in. Maybe because you hadn’t the energy. Maybe because some part of you knew he would follow.
Daryl let the curtain drop behind him. You knew it was him - you didn’t need to turn around to know that.
He crossed the cell quietly, boots careful over the cluttered floor, then crouched down beside the cot until his face was level with yours. For a moment, he only looked at you. The tiredness was there, yes, but not the kind that came from bad sleep or too much work or a day spent sweating under the prison sun. This was the kind of tired that sat behind your eyes and made your mouth hold itself still because if it moved too much, something honest might slip out.
His hand lifted slowly, fingers brushing the hair back from your face. They were still damp at the edges from the wash tub, but careful when they tucked the loose strands behind your ear. He didn’t say your name loud. Didn’t fill the cell with concern where anyone passing might hear it and turn it into a whole other fanfare like this morning.
“You okay?” he asked, soft enough that it belonged only to you. You gave him a thin little smile, not bothering to try be convincing because you didn’t think it was worth expending the energy when he saw right through you.
“Yeah,” you said, sighing through your nose. “Just tired.” You shifted on the cot, looking away. “Didn’t sleep much last night.”
That was such obvious bullshit that even the mattress seemed to judge you. You were out like a damn log. There was literally nothing that could wake you. During the night he had tried to move once and you had made some furious little noise in your sleep, tightened around him like a vine, and mumbled something that sounded enough like a threat for him to stay exactly where he was until morning. He had basically had to drag you out of bed earlier because that is how comatose you were. He stared at you. “Right,” he said.
You closed your eyes. “Don’t start.” His mouth twitched despite himself, but the amusement did not last. His thumb brushed once along your cheekbone, barely there, and the softness of it made your throat close in the most inconvenient way.
You hated that Merle had gotten to you.
You hated that something so stupid had gotten a rise out of you. You hated that you had walked out of the yard first, as if retreating made him right, as if leaving meant he had won something. You hated that Daryl had seen it. That was the worst part, maybe. Not Merle’s mouth, not the embarrassment, not even the tedious prejudices.
It was Daryl looking at you afterward like your hurt had entered his body and set up camp there.
You could handle Merle. You could handle ignorance. You could handle men who thought saying “you people” was clever because nobody had ever told them otherwise. But Daryl blaming himself for it? As if he was the one who had said it? That made you feel a whole new level of shitty, and you had no idea what to do with it.
So you smiled thinly again and pretended. Then he stood, motioned with his chin. “Scooch.”
You huffed, caught and annoyed about it, but still sat up enough to let him sit where your head had been. He settled against the wall with one knee bent, the other foot planted on the floor, body angled toward you in that unthinking way he always had now.
You lay back without asking, his arm coming down across your torso, loose and warm, and your head found his lap like the shape had been made there. The whole thing happened so naturally neither of you even paused over it, as if the two of you had forgotten to fumble or be self conscious about how you relaxed into it. It was just Daryl sitting and you curling back into him, your cheek against his thigh, your body stretched out along the cot while his hand settled in your hair. You sighed into it, now a little less alone inside your own skin.
Daryl’s fingers began to move through your hair, slow and idle, separating the strands near your temple, smoothing them back, then starting again. He did it like he was thinking with his hands, like it soothed the edges of his thoughts.
For a few minutes, neither of you said anything. Outside the cell, the prison carried on in low fragments. A bucket dragged somewhere down the row. Someone laughed faintly from the yard, then quieted. There was a car humming in the distance, and if you weren’t mistaken, the faint sound of hooves. The world went on being ugly and loud beyond the curtain, but inside the cell there was only Daryl’s hand in your hair, the warmth of his thigh under your cheek, and the slow, careful easing of your breathing. Then you ruined it.
“Ugh,” you said, staring at the metal slats of the bunk above. “Tomorrow’s run with Merle is gonna suck.” Daryl’s hand stopped so abruptly he may as well have announced it aloud.
In all the mess of the morning — Merle’s story, the humiliation, the tedious argument, you walking away, the guilt thart pressed on his throat — he had completely forgotten that you and Merle were both on the run list for the next day. But that was not the part that hit him hardest — it was how casually you said it.
Like it was inconvenient. Like bad weather. Like a blister. Like Merle being Merle was something you could complain about and then shoulder anyway, because that was what people did. You had walked out of the yard not ten minutes ago with your face set like stone, and now you were lying in his lap talking about going beyond the fence with the same man who’s favourite way to pass the time was to test your patience. And you were just going to carry on and… trust him with your life. You felt the change and glanced up at him. “What?”
He looked down at you like you had just said something in a language even his hard-earned Spanish could not help him with. “You’re goin’ with him tomorrow?” You blinked. “Yeah.” His frown deepened. “With my btother?” “Yes. Your brother, Merle.” “After today?”
You shifted a little, getting more comfortable against his lap, which seemed to offend him further because you had not even bothered to sit up for the conversation. “Why are you acting like this isn’t just another Tuesday,” you said. He still looked at you like you had grown two heads.
“Where the hell have you been the last few months,” you chuckled. “We go in circles. It just the routine we have going on.”
His fingers resumed moving through your hair, but slower now, more distracted. “Ain’t a routine,” he murmured, chewing his lip slightly. “It kind of is.” “No.” His voice roughened. “No, he don’t get to run his mouth, make you storm out, then wake up tomorrow and act like he ain’t done nothin’. Ain’t how this goes.” You sighed. “You can’t keep a kangaroo from hopping.” Daryl stared. “That ain’t a sayin’.” “Ok well now it is.” “Ya can’t just make up a sayin’.” “Fine.” You waved one hand lazily over your stomach. “What is it you rednecks say? That dog won’t hunt?” His brows cinched together. “That don’t seem right.” “Well that’s why i went with kangaroo.” “Christ fine go with kangaroos.”
You smiled a little, but he didn’t follow you into it. His hand kept combing through your hair, thumb grazing your scalp, fingers catching once in a knot and gently working it free. The small care of it made the silence heavier somehow. He was trying to understand. That was the problem. Daryl could handle rage, could handle threats, could handle his brother. What he struggled to handle was you lying there, calm and resigned and still willing to continue as if nothing had happened. That was not like you at all. You held grudges beautifully. Artistically, even. You remembered insults by date, time, and weather. You once refused to speak to Glenn for half a day because he had implied your hair was frizzy. If someone borrowed your things without asking, you’d take their shit right back. If a man looked at you wrong, you could peel him open with three sentences and leave his entire family embarrassed.
So why Merle? Why did Merle get chances he had not earned? Daryl looked at your face, at the tired slope of your mouth, at the way you were trying so hard to act like this was nothing. “I don’t get it,” he said finally. You looked up again. “What?” “Why you put up with it.” The words came out blunt because he didn't know how else to shape them. Your expression softened, and that somehow made him feel worse. “With Merle?” “Yeah, with Merle.” His jaw worked. “He treats you like shit. Keeps doin’ it. You got every reason to knock his teeth out and ya don’t.” “I do fantasise about that,”you said but Daryl didnt react. “I’m serious,” he said quietly, his other hand rubbing your abdomen as if trying to coax you into behave.
For a moment, you watched the light shift along the wall of the cell, thin and grey through the bars, catching dust in the air. Daryl’s fingers moved through your hair again, slower now, more pensive. He didn’t seem to realise he was doing it. Or maybe he did and simply couldn’t stop. “Well,” you said eventually, “he’s your family.” Daryl’s face tightened immediately. “So?” You tilted your head in his lap so you could see him better. “So? That’s everything.”“Yeah but that doesn’t…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words. “Family ain’t just blood.”
You smiled then, not teasing this time; genuine, soft enough that it stole a little of his anger before he could stop it. “Of course it isn’t,” you said, like it was a fact of life. Something flickered behind his eyes, confused and raw, because he expected to explain it. Fight against the old idea that blood excused everything, that blood meant loyalty even when loyalty came with hurt. But you were looking at him like he had never needed to convince you.
You shrugged one shoulder, still lying across his lap as if you had not just reached into his chest and touched something bare. “But he’s your family. So… I guess that makes him mine too.”
Daryl went still. The words landed in him with a force you hadn’t expected. You saw it happen — the small catch in his breathing, the way his eyes fixed on yours, the way his mouth parted slightly but nothing came out.
“Family is everything,” you continued, speaking toward the wall because it was easier than speaking directly into the look he was giving you. “And I don’t mean that in the superficial way people say it on cards before they stop talking to their cousin over a casserole recipe. I mean…” You searched for the words, fingers going to draw any patterns along his arm as you try to explain. “For me, where I come from, family is not just who lives in your house. It is the house. The street. The auntie who is not really your auntie but would still smack you with a sandal if you acted stupid. The neighbour who feeds you because you look too skinny. The cousin who drives you crazy but still gets a plate. The whole village, sometimes. Everybody in everybody’s business, everybody yelling, everybody loving in their own chaotic but beautiful way.”
Daryl’s hand started moving again, slow strokes through your hair. You could feel him listening with his whole body.
“Family is… sacred,” you continued. “Not perfect. God, no. Sometimes family is the reason you need to go scream into a pillow. Sometimes they hurt you because they know how to do that. Sometimes you need distance. Sometimes you need boundaries. Sometimes you need to tell them, very clearly, that if they speak again you will rearrange their face. But the point is…” You swallowed, trying to explain the shape of something too big for one language. “We don’t always choose family, and we don’t always get to choose who we love. And sometimes family just comes attached to the people we love. And I guess we can decide what to do with them. How much room they get. What lines they don’t cross. Whether they are allowed to stay at the table or maybe eat in their room.”
His fingers paused at the end of a strand, then slipped back to your scalp. “Merle pokes fun at it because he doesn’t understand it,” you said. “Or maybe because he does and it scares him. I don’t know. But he is your brother. He is a disaster, and a bigot, and a full-time pain in the ass, and I may still poison him one day if he keeps calling me by ‘you people’ again.” “Wouldn’t blame ya.” “But he is your brother,” you said again. “And you love him.” Daryl stared down at you. “And I love you,” you said softly. “So I’ll try to love him.”
The cell seemed very quiet after you finished speaking. You could hear the distant yard beyond the walls, the murmur of people moving through the prison, the faint clank of someone working near the gate. But inside, Daryl was looking at you like you had just done something impossible. Like all the air had been taken out of him and replaced with something profound.
He had spent so much of his life bracing for people to leave. For people to decide the Dixon family was too much trouble. For people to look at Merle and see Daryl standing right behind him, guilty by blood, guilty by history, guilty by proximity. He had expected anger from you. He had expected disgust. Maybe even distance, though the thought had been sitting in his stomach like a stone since the courtyard.
He had not expected you to fold Merle into the complicated map of what you called family because Daryl was already there. Yeah. He was downright stumped what to do with that.
So he continued touching your hair, his fingers sliding through the strands again and again, gentle and reverent without him making it dramatic. He smoothed the pieces away from your forehead, tucked one behind your ear, traced the line of your part with a careful concentration . The whole time, his mind was moving too fast beneath the silence. How the hell were you real? How did you get more stubborn, more loyal, more impossible every time he thought he had found the summit? You were probably the only person in the world capable of looking at Merle Dixon and deciding, with full awareness of all available evidence, that he might be extended family by unfortunate technicality. Daryl didn't know whether to laugh, kiss you, or apologize until his voice gave out. He settled for brushing his thumb over your temple. “You ain’t gotta do that,” he said.
“I know.”
“I mean it.”
“I know.”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“You’ve been talking to him your whole life.”
His mouth twisted. “Yeah. Might try hittin’ next.”
You gave him a look. “You are not fixing your brother through blunt force trauma.”
“Would be faster.”
That got a quiet breath out of him, almost a laugh, and the sound loosened something in the room.
You huffed, putting your hand over his on your stomach. “I’m not saying let him get away with it,” you said. “I’m not some saint who will turn the other cheek forever, because I am not that big of a person.”
“Yeah,” Daryl muttered. “You ain’t.”
You smiled faintly. “I am saying… I‘m still gonna try. Because you’re worth it.”
When you looked p at him then, seeing he was starind down at you, he looked younger. Only for a second. Not boyish exactly, because Daryl had probably stopped being a boy long before he should have, but in the way it healed the aged part of them that the hurt had tarnished “You make it sound easy,” he said quietly.
“It’s not.” You squeezed his wrist. “That’s just how much I love ya,” you beamed up at him. You meant it to be casual but it still lit his chest up like a fireplace.
For a long moment after you said it, Daryl just looked at you, softer around the edges in a way that made him look almost shy, like you had said something too big for the little cell to hold and now he had no idea where to put his hands, his eyes, his heart. His fingers slowed into this distracted little motion, twirling one strand around his knuckle, letting it slip free, then catching it again like your hair had become the only thing keeping him from floating clean out of his own body. You watched him for a few seconds, your head still resting in his lap, your body stretched comfortably across the cot, and then a smile started pulling at your mouth before you could stop it. “Daryl.” “Mm?” “Stop looking at me like I hung the damn moon.”
His eyes dropped at once.
“Oh my God,” you said, delight blooming through the tired ache still sitting under your ribs. “Are you getting all shy on me?” “Shuddup.”
But he was smiling. Just a little twitch at the corner of his mouth, hidden badly behind the fall of his hair and the stubborn angle of his jaw. You pushed yourself up on one elbow, grinning now. “Aww. You are. You’re going all bashful because I said your white trash brother is worth putting up with because I love you.”
His hand flattened over your forehead and gently pushed you back down. “Lay down.” “You’re deflecting.” “Yep.” “Holy shit, this is worse than when I first told you I loved you and you avoided me like I had the plague.” Daryl physically cringed, face scrunching at the memory. It was small, but you caught it instantly. “Oh, don’t make that face,” you said. “You know it’s true.” “I said it back,” Daryl mumbled. “Uh-huh. Within two to three business days.” His eyes narrowed. “Wasn’t that long.” “Baby you went full woodland creature. I said I loved you and you looked like I had fired a gun next to your head.” “I ain’t good with that stuff.” “You vanished.” “Needed air.” “You needed a witness protection program.”
He gave you a flat look, but it had no teeth in it. The memory asn't exactly fun to relive, you could tell, not because he hated being reminded you had said it first, not even because he didn't feel the same way then because that was a fat lie, but because he knew, deep down, how close he had came to fumbling something so incredible out of pure dumb panic. Daryl had fight in him for almost everything. He could stare down walkers, guns, hunger, blood, winter, Merle on his worst day. But love confessions? Love confessions had sent him straight into flight mode like a spooked animal. You softened only a little. “Thank God you came to your senses eventually.”
His thumb brushed along your temple. “Yeah.”
The quiet way he said it made your chest warm, so naturally you had to ruin it before the feeling got too large and swallowed you whole. “Uh oh,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him. “Are you going to pull that move again?” “What move?”
“Should I communicate with you via messenger pigeon for the next seventy-two hours? Give you time to process?” “That was then.” “Oh, that was then,” you repeated, deeply solemn. “So you’re evolved now?” He huffed. “Ain’t gonna freak out.” “You’re not?” “Nope.” “Not even a little?” “Nuh-uh.”
You sat up more fully now, delighted by the challenge. His arm stayed loose over your middle, but you could feel his fingers flex against your side as if he already regretted giving you room to perform. “So,” you said, placing one hand dramatically over your heart, “if I said something truly devastating, like, ‘Mr Dixon, your love is the shelter beneath which my weary soul has chosen to rest,’ you would be completely normal about that?”
His face went blank. You gasped. “You’re doing it now!” “That’s cuz you sounded stupid.”
“My love,” you continued, pressing the back of your hand to your forehead, “light of my life, fire of my loins, i cannot bear a day apart from thy—” His hand clamped over your mouth. You made a muffled noise of outrage against his palm. “That’s enough o’ that,” he said. You tried to speak anyway and it came out as pure nonsense.
His eyes narrowed with amusement, and then, because he was apparently choosing cruelty, his other hand found your side and dug in where he knew you were ticklish. You shrieked behind his palm; a strangled, undignified sound that probably frightened a bird off the roof somewhere. Daryl’s shoulders shook as he tried not to laugh. “Jesus.”
You thrashed, grabbing at his wrist, but he only leaned over you, one arm pinning you loosely in place while his fingers attacked the vulnerable spot beneath your ribs. You twisted away, laughing so hard your stomach hurt, and that was somehow worse because the second your neck turned toward him, Daryl pressed his face into the curve beneath your jaw, right against the ticklish spot he knew far too well. “No, no, no—Daryl!”
He made a low, pleased sound against your skin and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you from wriggling off the cot entirely. You were laughing so hard now that your eyes watered, your hands pushing uselessly at his shoulders while his mouth brushed your throat in deliberately terrible little almost-kisses. “I’m gonna pee,” you gasped. “Better not.” “Then stop!” He finally relented, but only enough to bury his face against your neck and hold you there while you shook with leftover laughter. His hair tickled your cheek, arm heavy and warm across your middle. His breathing was uneven from trying not to laugh too loudly, and yours was a complete disaster, half hiccuping giggles, half breathless gasps.
It hit you, somewhere in the middle of it, how strange that was. You had come in here hollowed out and heavy, laying your head down thinking you wanted to be alone, wanted some quiet. Just a time out from everything. And now you were smiling so hard your face hurt.
Daryl lifted his head just enough to look at you. The shyness was still there, tucked under the softness, but so was something steadier. Something like relief to see you smile again. You touched his cheek. “Ahi estas.” "'M here," he said with a smile, barely above a whiper. “Where’d I go?” “Inside your head,” you said simply. “I like you out here.”He snorted, then dipped down and kissed the corner of your mouth, quick and rough and sweet enough to make you chase him for a second one.
That was when someone knocked on the wall outside. “Y’all decent?” Merle.
Your laughter died down into a wheeze. Daryl’s whole body went still over yours.
You stared at the curtain for any sudden movements. Then, in a whisper, you said, “Maybe if we don’t say anything, he’ll go away.”
“I know y’all are in there,” Merle called. “Heard y’all makin’ a racket.”
Daryl dropped his forehead against your shoulder and closed his eyes in defeat.
“Final warnin’,” Merle barked.
The curtain jerked aside anyway.
Merle stepped in with the confidence of someone who had never respected a boundary in his entire life, then stopped just inside the cell when he found the two of you tangled on the cot, Daryl half over you, your hair a mess, both of you flushed and breathless for reasons that were mostly innocent this time but absolutely did not look it.
“You lose your hearin’ or somethin’?” Merle asked.
You propped yourself up on your elbows and gave him a look. “You lose your sense of direction or something?”
His mouth twitched despite himself, like he had expected that and was almost relieved to get it.
Daryl sat back slowly, dragging one hand down his face. “What?”
Merle didn’t answer right away. Instead, he looked around the cell. His eyes moved over the clothes on the floor, the pile at the foot of the bed, the boots kicked crooked, the crate-table covered in bolts, hair ties, a knife, and one lonely sock that had been missing for three days. He took two slow steps farther in, inspecting the chaos like some kind of deeply unqualified health official. “Well, damn,” he said. “Thought shackin’ up with this one woulda straightened the room up for ya, Darylina.”
Daryl nodded toward the mess without hesitation. “This is all her.”
Wow way to throw a girl under a bus. “… it’s an organised mess,” you defended.
Merle had nothing to say this time, scratching at his jaw, suddenly less amused than he had been when he walked in. The air shifted just enough to take the silly edge off the room.
You pulled the blanket over your lap, not because you were exposed, but because his awkwardness made you want something to do with your hands. “Did you really come in here to tell us our room is messy?”
Merle looked toward the curtain, then back at you. “Nah,” he said, clearing his throat. “Just, uh… wanted to see if you were doin’ okay.”
That was so deeply unnatural that even Daryl frowned.
You stared at him. “What?”
Merle’s shoulders stiffened. “You said out there you weren’t feelin’ well.”
“I said I was tired.”
“Same neighborhood.”
You and Daryl both looked at each other and wore the same expression; the silent, alarmed communication of two people witnessing an event that was statistically impossible but here we are.
Daryl cleared his throat. “She’s fine.”
Merle’s gaze flicked to him, then back to you, then down to where Daryl’s hand rested casually over your stomach.
Merle’s eyes narrowed. Then widened. “You pregnant?”
“What? No,” you snapped, sitting up straighter. “Why would you think that?”
Merle lifted both hands. “I dunno. You said you weren’t feelin’ well, he’s touchin’ your belly—”
“That doesn’t mean I’m pregnant.”
“Well, you know,” Merle said, already digging before his brain had located a shovel, “all you gotta do is look at a Latina funny and poof—”
He looked to Daryl, like an idiot expecting backup from the one man in the room least likely to provide it.
Daryl didn’t blink. He looked, very briefly, like he was doing math in his head. You smacked his arm.
He snapped back to life. “Ow.”
“Are you counting in your head?”
“I wasn’t!” He defended, arm raised in surrender. “Hold up— what day is it?”
Merle’s eyebrows lifted. “So there’s a chance?” Woah he really wanted to be an uncle.
“No,” you said. “There is not a chance. Merle, I am really not in the mood for your shit.”
“Whoa, hold on now.” He shifted, the defensiveness coming up fast, but not as sharp as usual. “I ain’t here to start nothin’.”
“That would be a first.”
He grimaced. “I came in here to, uh…” The word died in his throat.
You both waited, wary now, Daryl's body angled toward you out of habit.
Merle looked like a man trying to swallow a live insect. “To apologize,” he finally muttered.
Silence. You both turned your heads slowly towards one another and held each other’s gaze for a long, confirming second. Then you looked back at Merle. “I’m sorry,” you said. “Could you repeat that? I think my ears must be waterlogged or something.”
Merle pointed at you. “Don’t make me say it again.”
“You came here to apologize?”
“I said don’t make me say it again.”
Daryl leaned back against the wall, eyes narrowed, but not with anger now. More like he was watching a very unstable animal approach an open flame. “Then apoligize proper.”
Merle shot him a look. “I know how to apologise.”
“Do you?”
“You ain’t the one I’m apologising to damnit.”
You folded your arms. “I’m listening.”
Merle rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere except your face. “Look, I was outta line.”
You lifted your brows.
He huffed. “Fine. More than usual.”
“Warmer.”
His eyes snapped to yours. “You want the apology or not?”
“I want to see if you can pull it off.”
Merle glared at both of you, then looked down at the floor.
“I shouldn’ta said what I said,” he muttered. “Wasn’t right. I was bein’ an asshole.”
You said nothing because if you did he would probably give up with apoligies altogether.
“And I know that ain’t news to nobody, but… yeah. I know.” He glanced up at you, then away again. “I’m gon try harder. Cause ya mean the world to 'im,” he nodded to Daryl. “If you’ll give me the chance.”
Daryl’s expression changed slightly.
You saw it, because you were always looking for him even when you pretended not to be. Some of the hard suspicion in his face loosened, replaced by something cautious and almost sad.
Merle sucked his teeth, clearly reaching the outer limits of emotional exposure. “There. That’s what I came to say.”
You studied him for a moment. “Okay,” you said quietly.
He blinked, like he had expected more fight. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“You ain’t gonna tell me to go to hell?”
“I can, if you want.”
“Nope.”
You smiled faintly, and for once he did not immediately ruin it. Instead, he shifted his weight and reached behind his back, pulling something from where it had been tucked beneath his vest. A bottle.
Your eyes dropped to the label.
Then back to his face. “Tequila?”
“Peace offering.” Merle’s mouth twitched, finally finding ground he understood. “Found it a few weeks back. Was savin’ it for the right occasion.”
“Aqua bendita,” you laughed before you could stop yourself. “Honestly, I’m impressed you didn’t drink it already.”
He looked offended. “I got some will power.”
Daryl snorted.
You reached for the bottle when Merle held it out, turning it in your hands with a grin tugging at your mouth despite everything. “You know what? I’m not pregnant. That is worth celebrating.”
Daryl’s eyes flicked to you, warm now in spite of himself. “Go ahead,” he said.
You looked at him. “What?”
He nodded toward the door. “I’ll get the laundry.”
Your smile softened. “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
You leaned in and kissed him quickly. Barely more than a press of your mouth to his, but Daryl’s hand came up to your waist anyway, catching you for the half second it lasted.
Merle made a sharp sound of protest. “Aw, hell, c’mon. I don’t wanna see that.”
You pulled back, grinning. “You did when you were peeping on us.” Game, set match.
Merle scoffed, but he backed toward the curtain, clearly relieved that nobody was crying, yelling, or trying to punch him for the moment. Then he paused. “Hey,” he said, nodding toward the yard. “You wanna come see this engine I found? Sounds like a wet fart trapped in a coffee can’.”
You stood, bottle in hand, and stretched lazily. “A wet fart in a coffee can, you say?”
“Real musical.”
“Well, how can a girl resist?”
Daryl watched you move toward the doorway, the tiredness still there around your eyes but lighter now, softened by the strange miracle of Merle Dixon attempting accountability without bursting into flames.
Daryl stayed where he was for a second longer, listening to your voice fade down the cell block with Merle’s rougher one trailing beside it. The room was still a mess. The laundry still needed doing. His brother was still his brother, which meant peace would probably last about seven minutes if everyone was lucky.
But you had smiled. And merle was trying.
He stood, grabbed the abandoned basket by the door, and shook his head to himself. “Wet fart in a coffee can,” he muttered. Then he went to finish the laundry
It was evening when Daryl was finished with the laundry; it established a new appreciation for you, well for your willingness to do laundry.
Laundry should not have ranked so high on the list of things capable of irritating him, but there was something uniquely insulting about scrubbing dirt out of clothes that were going to be filthy again within twelve hours. Why would people bother? But he did it anyway because h knew it would make you happy.
So, by the time he hauled the finished basket back toward the cell block, his mood was already somewhere between tired and grouchy.
The yard had settled into that softer evening rhythm the prison sometimes got, when the sun started sinking low enough to take the worst of the heat with it and everybody moved like they were slowly remembering they had bodies. Smoke from the grill hung in the air. Someone laughed near the tables. The dead still groaned at the fences, because of course they did, but even that sounded farther away than usual, buried under the scrape of plates and the clatter of people getting ready to eat.
Daryl shifted the basket and looked toward the grill first, expecting to find you there but was disappointed. He glanced toward the tables — not there either.
That made his brows draw together, because the last he had seen of you, you had been leaving the cell with Merle and a bottle of tequila, which had seemed like a bad idea at the time and had only grown worse in his mind the longer he was left alone
Then he heard you your laughter, loose and bright and entirely too uncontrolled to belong to a sober woman.
Daryl stopped at the bottom of the stairs.
Halfway up the metal steps, sprawled like a couple of menaces were you and Merle, both of you drunk off your faces.
The laundry basket slipped from Daryl’s hand and hit the floor with a heavy, damp thud.
You looked down at the sound, blinked slowly as if the stairs had rotated beneath you, and then your whole face lit up with the kind of delight that made Daryl’s stomach do something stupid before his brain could remind it that you were absolutely plastered.
“Daryl,” you announced, drawing out his name like you had just discovered it for the first time and found it hilarious. You leaned over to Merle, whispering, “omg my boyfriends here.”
“M’right here,” Daryl said, unimpressed.
Merle swung around too fast, had to grab the railing to keep himself upright, and then pointed at Daryl, “oh shit, you kissed all the fun Darylin!”
Daryl’s eyes narrowed. “Y’all been drinkin’ all afternoon?”
“Not all afternoon,” you said, then leaned slightly toward Merle again. “Was it all afternoon?”
Merle squinted at the bottle in his hand, which was mostly empty and catching the last of the evening light in one sad golden strip. “Depends when afternoon started.”
“That is not how time works,” you told him, with great authority and absolutely no balance.
Merle nodded like you had made a profound point. “She’s smart.”
Daryl rubbed a hand over his face. “Jesus Christ.”
“Hey,” Merle said, lifting the bottle in accusation. “You wanted us to get along.”
Daryl dropped his hand and stared at him. “Didn’t want this.”
“Well, tough shit,” Merle declared, throwing an arm out toward you so enthusiastically that you nearly ducked out of instinct. “Me and yiir little girlfriend? Thick as thieves.”
“I am not little,” you fumed, shoving him.
“You’re tiny.”
“I could kill you.”
“See?” Merle looked down at Daryl.“Best buddies.”
You lifted your hand toward Merle. “High five.”
Merle, smiling like an raging idiot, lifted his metal arm up high, the knife glinting awfully in light.
“Woah!” Daryl exclaimed. He moved up two steps and caught Merle’s wrist before that disaster could complete itself. “That’s the wrong hand, you idiot.”
You looked at Merle’s raised knife-hand, looked at Daryl’s stressed face, and then burst into such helpless laughter that you folded forward with one hand on the step and the other pressed to your stomach.
Merle stared for half a second.
Then he started laughing too, loud and ugly and delighted, the sound bouncing around the stairwell until someone down by the grill shouted for him to shut up.
Daryl still had Merle’s wrist in his grip. “Ain’t funny.”
“It is,” you gasped.
“He almost cut you up like a pig,” Daryl sterned.
“That’s what makes it funny.”
Merle wiped at one eye with the heel of his flesh hand. “Lord, she gets it.”
Daryl released him with visible regret. “How much did she have?”
Merle held up the bottle. Daryl looked at it. Then at you.
Then back at the bottle. “Merle.”
“What?”
“That was full.”
“Woman can really drink I’ll give her that.”
You pointed at him, swaying slightly. “Never doubt me again.”
Merle leaned closer to Daryl, voice dropping into the least subtle whisper ever performed. “She beat me at every damn game.”
“You were cheating,” you said. “And I still beat you.”
“Was not!.”
“Half the deck was in your pocket because you kept stashing them!”
Daryl looked between the two of you and felt, with grim clarity, that he might have preferred when you hated each other. At least then he knew where to stand.
This, whatever this was, had the unstable energy of dry grass and open flame. You, giggly and loose-limbed, cheeks warm from tequila and eyes shining with mischief. Merle, louder than usual, which Daryl would not have thought possible, his normal cruelty sanded down into something giddy and affectionate and somehow more alarming. Together, you looked like the beginning of a problem Rick would eventually assign Daryl to fix.
“You’re pretty,” you said suddenly.
Daryl blinked.
Merle pointed at him. “She means you.”
“I know who she means,” Daryl muttered.
You leaned your chin into your palm, elbow braced on the step above your knee, smiling down at him with a sleepy, shameless sweetness that made his irritation stumble into something warmer. “You’re like all… firm ‘n… tough.”
Merle made a choking sound. “That don’t make no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense,” you said.
Daryl stared up at you from the bottom of the stairs, trying very hard not to smile and failing at the edges. It was there despite him, tucked into the corner of his mouth, softened by the sight of you leaning against the railing with your cheeks warm from tequila and your eyes bright with trouble.“You’re so drunk.”
“Only a lil,” you said, pinching your fingers together to demonstrate a measurement that your swaying immediately contradicted.
“You’re slurrin’.”
“You’re just jealous,” you told him, pointing down at him with all the grand authority of a woman who had absolutely lost control of her own index finger, “because me and Merle hung out without you.”
Merle, sitting a couple steps below you with the bottle balanced against his knee, nodded solemnly. “Exclusive gatherin’.”
You leaned forward, lowering your voice like you were about to reassure Daryl of something very serious. “If you’re worried about me switching favourite Dixon, don’t. You’ll always be number one.”
Then you winked.
It wasn’t a clean wink either, involving half your face, but Daryl’s mouth twitched anyway.
“I wasn’t worried,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose like that might physically hold back the smile. “But thanks.”
You beamed, “you’re welcome, baby.”
Merle made a strangled noise. “Lord, she’s gone syrupy.”
“You’re one to talk,” Daryl muttered, then motioned up at you with two fingers. “Alright. Up.”
Your face fell at once. “No.”
“Bed. Now.”
“No.”
“You can barely sit on stairs.”
“I am still sitting nonetheless,” you said, with offended dignity.
“You’re leanin’ sideways.”
Your mouth dropped open, scandalised. “I am never good enough for you, huh?”
Daryl blinked, immediately wrong-footed. “What? No—”
You broke first, giggles spilling out of you before he could finish panicking, your shoulders shaking against the railing while he stared at you with flat betrayal. “That ain’t funny.”
“It was a little funny,” Merle slurred.
“You ain’t helping.”
Merle lifted both hands in surrender, then remembered one of them was still the wrong hand and lowered the metal one with surprising care. “I am supportin’ my sister-in-law.”
The words hung there for a second but were loosened by tequila and the evening air. Regardless it still landed somewhere real. You looked at Merle, your grin turning warm around the edges. “Aww,” you said. “You do love me.”
Merle’s face twisted instantly. “Don’t make it weird.”
“You made it weird first.”
“I was bein’ generous.”
“You basically called me family.”
Merle pointed at you with the bottle, squinting as if that might make his argument stronger. “That is a dangerous accusation.”
Daryl looked between you both, the smile finally escaping despite every effort he made to kill it. “Jesus,” he muttered, starting up the stairs toward you. “I liked it better when y’all were fightin’.”
He concluded then that this was only going to get worse if he did not physically remove you from the stairs.
“Up,” he said again, climbing closer and reaching for you.
You sighed with the tremendous suffering.“Fine.”
You pushed yourself upright. For one glorious second, you looked steady.
Then the stairs moved.
At least, judging by your expression, that was what it felt like. Your eyes widened, one hand shot out for the railing, and you made a tiny betrayed sound as your balance tipped forward. Merle, who had started climbing behind you, carelessly swaying his knife-arm as he did so, looked up at exactly the wrong moment.
Daryl caught you around the waist before you could fall back onto Merle.
“Whoa,” he snapped, hauling you back against his chest.
You clung to his arms, blinking hard. “The stairs are doing something.”
“They ain’t doin’ nothin’.”
“They are. It’s like an escalator going fifty miles an hour.”
“There aren’t any escalators.”
“I know that’s what makes it so alarming.
Yeah — the joke can stay, but it needs to feel less “random horny line” and more like drunk-you being reckless, Daryl knowing exactly where it’s going, and shutting it down before Merle can make it everybody’s problem.
Merle, still a few steps below you and moving with the careful arrogance of a drunk man who absolutely should not have been trusted near stairs, squinted up at you. “You fall, you’re impalin’ yourself on me.”
You looked back over your shoulder, eyes dropping to the knife fixed at the end of his metal arm, and your face twisted with immediate, theatrical horror. “Oh, no.”
Daryl’s arm tightened around your waist before you could wobble any farther. “Watch your step.”
“The only thing I’m getting impaled on,” you began, lifting one finger with all the dignity of a woman about to make a deeply inappropriate point, “is Daryl’s massive co—”
Daryl moved before the rest of the sentence could escape and ruin all three of your lives.
He bent, caught you around the thighs, and hauled you over his shoulder in one smooth, practiced motion, like he had been waiting for an excuse to remove you from the conversation entirely. You yelped, the sound tipping straight into laughter as the stairs swung out of view and Daryl’s back filled your world instead.
Merle cheered from below. “Smart man.”
“Daryl,” you protested, though it came out weak and breathless because you were already laughing too hard to sound properly offended.
He adjusted his grip, one arm locked behind your knees and the other braced across the backs of your thighs, steadying you with infuriating ease. Then, because he was apparently determined to make the situation worse and somehow still blame you for it, he gave your backside one firm, casual pat.
You gasped loud enough for half the cell block to hear.
Merle stopped climbing for the sole purpose of cackling. “Do it again. She made a funny noise.”
Daryl did not even turn around. “Merle.”
“Yeah, okay,” Merle muttered, though he was still laughing as he dragged himself up the railing behind you.
You lifted your head enough to look at the catwalk upside down as Daryl carried you along it. The world swung gently with each step, metal railing, grey walls, dim candle ight, Daryl’s back, Merle’s delighted face bobbing behind you like a curse that had learned to laugh.
“Weeeee,” you whispered at first.
Daryl ignored you. So you did it louder.
“Weeeeeee.”
Merle lost it all over again, laughing like a hyena in a vest, and Daryl shook his head as if the universe had personally assigned him two drunk idiots and no instruction manual.
By the time he got you into the cell, your laughter had gone soft and breathless, the sleepy part of drunk beginning to catch up with the giddy part. Daryl lowered you onto the cot with more care than his expression suggested, grumbling under his breath as if tenderness was something he could disguise through irritation.
He helped you sit up enough to tug at the buttons of your shirt because you were doing a terrible job of it, fingers slipping over the wrong button twice before you gave up and let him take over. His hands were careful, his brow furrowed with concentration, and even drunk you had enough awareness left to smile at him like he was being unbearably sweet.
“You’re taking my clothes off,” you said, voice gone syrupy with tequila and smugness as he worked the stubborn button loose. “Am I getting lucky tonight?”
You raised your eyebrows at him twice, slowly and with absolutely none of the seduction you clearly thought you were delivering.
Daryl scoffed under his breath, though his mouth twitched as he eased the shirt off your shoulders. “Not tonight, killer.”
Your face folded into a dramatic frown, and you stuck your tongue out at him like a wounded child being denied dessert. “Still counts as getting some action.”
“Don’t start.”
“You love when I start.”
“Not when ya stink of tequila”
You laughed softly, leaning into him while he eased the button-up off your shoulders and tossed it away. He pulled the blanket back, guided you down, and tucked it loosely over your legs before you could decide the floor looked more interesting.
Behind him, there was a heavy thump.
Merle had entered the cell at some point, apparently decided the floor was both available and welcoming, and was now lying flat on his back beside the cot with one arm flung over his eyes, the nearly empty tequila bottle hugged against his chest like a beloved infant.
Daryl stared at him. “Hell no.”
Merle did not move.
“This ain’t your room.”
No answer.
“Merle,” he said again, kicking him in the side this time. still nothing.
Merle smade a sound that might have been a snore and might have been a curse in the same nature. But there was no walking him up.
You lifted your head off the pillow, saw him on the floor, and started giggling again, though sleep had made it weak and soft around the edges. “He looks peaceful.”
Daryl stood there for a long second, clearly calculating whether he could be bothered to drag Merle back to his own cell.
The answer arrived quickly. He did not.
“Fine,” Daryl muttered, stepping over Merle. “Sleep on the damn floor.”
Merle snored louder, possibly out of spite.
Daryl looked back at you. “Tomorrow’s run’s gonna be real fun with you two hungover.”
You made a vague humming sound from the pillow.
“Gonna be throwin’ up in the bushes before we even hit the road.”
No answer.
“No way Merle is takin the bike.”
Still no answer.
Daryl turned more fully, expecting some smart comment about how you would never waste an opportunity to throw up on Merle, or how Merle was definitely going to take the bike because Daryl said otherwise, or how he should stop worrying because you were no stranger to tequila.
Instead, you were asleep. Completely gone.
Your face had relaxed against the pillow, lips parted slightly, one hand curled near your cheek, hair spread wild over the blanket like you had fought sleep and lost instantly. The teasing smile still lingered faintly at the corner of your mouth, as if some part of you was still laughing on the way down.
Daryl stood there looking at you for a second.
Then his whole face softened.
“Lightweight,” he murmured, though the empty bottle and Merle’s corpse-like sprawl on the floor suggested otherwise.
He stepped over Merle again, towing his shoes and shrugging his shirt off before easing onto the cot beside you with the practiced care of a man trying not to wake the drunk woman who had somehow made peace with his brother and stolen half his sanity in one afternoon. The mattress dipped under his weight. You stirred immediately, nose wrinkling, hand searching blindly across the blanket until it found him.
Even asleep, you moved toward him.
He stretched out on his side and pulled you in, one arm sliding beneath your shoulders, the other wrapping across your waist until you were tucked firmly against him. You made a small satisfied sound and nuzzled into his chest like you had been aiming for him even in your dreams.
Your breathing had evened out already, warm against his throat, your body heavy and trusting in his arms in a way that still did something to him if he let himself think about it too long. The cell was a mess, and probably always would be: clothes half-folded, boots kicked wrong, blankets twisted, the laundry basket abandoned somewhere downstairs because he had been too busy carrying you to remember anything else. On the floor, Merle was past out, clutching the empty tequila bottle tucked against his chest like the world’s saddest teddy bear, snoring like he was trying to scare off walkers by sound alone.
Tomorrow would be hell.
There would be headaches, groaning, complaints about sunlight, and probably some fresh disaster Merle managed to wander into ass-first because using his head had never once occurred to him. You would wake up swearing you were never drinking again, then blame Daryl for letting you do it, and Merle would claim he had been perfectly composed despite all available evidence lying on the floor.
But tonight, you were smiling in your sleep. Tonight, Merle had tried.
And tonight, somehow, the three of you were in the same small room after the drama that was today and no one was bleeding, shouting, or walking away.
Daryl looked from you to his brother and back again, his arm tightening around your waist as you nuzzled closer without waking. The whole thing was stupid, fragile, inconvenient as hell, and nothing like the Dixon family he had grown up knowing.
Maybe that was why he held on so tight.
Summary: After losing your sight in a chemical accident, every shot at trying to get back what you lost has been a dead end. But you and Daryl just don’t know when to quit. What begins as an attempt to fix what was broken becomes something terrifyingly bigger, it makes you question whether hope is worth the cost of chasing it. The last real chance at saving your vision lands you at the coast, smack bang in the middle of a decades old fued between fishermen, and Daryl is forced to fight not only for your survival, but for the future you’ve barely dared imagine.
Warnings: Alot of violence and gore, blowing up shit, reader has aqua phobia, deaths/murders, angst angst angst, super creepy entitled men, allusions to misogyny, Some Aliens 3 plot (ifkyk), suggestive content, alot of sci-fi and medical scenes it's really fucking nerdy, eye surgery, omitting one warning hehe, fluffff, protective Daryl
Author's note: I FINSIHED IT 6 months later this was supposed to be my 1k followers/celebration event thing but its a little late. This was so hard to upload because iTS SO FUCKING LONG. Every time I write a long fic i think there is no way i could topt and i do.This took so much time and effort you would think i woyld be getting paid but finishing this was really important to me and i wanted to finsih it to the people who liked the series from the start so I really hope you like it!!! Its kinda fucking mental. I had to clump alot of paragraphs together so itwould fit so thats why it kinda reads awkward. Loads of refernces to part 4 so i recommend rereading that one! Holy shit im so nervous to hit post im gonna do it eeek. Lemme know what you think 🙈 love y'all
Alexandria had decided, with the absolute confidence of a town that had survived this long by sheer spite and determination, that it was going to have a movie night.
Someone had strung lanterns from maple to maple in the square, not evenly, not neatly, but with enough ambition that once the sun dropped they glowed like the place had dressed up for itself. A sheet-screen had been lashed between two posts with scavenged rope and the kind of optimism that usually preceded disaster, and when the wind caught it, it made the whole thing belly out like a sail, half the square applauding as if they were sending off the theoretical ship of Alexandria on its maiden voyage.
Waves of people gathered and bottles chimed in little flurries. The generator hummed like a ship’s engine from the far side of the square, powering what Eugene had been calling, with distressing sincerity, a 'communal cinematic exhibition experience'. Kids tore through the rows of mismatched chairs and salvaged benches with paper cones of popcorn, shrieking every time somebody told them not to spill it, which only made them spill it faster. Somewhere behind you, Jerry was trying to explain the concept of a double feature to three very confused children who thought he meant two movies happening at once on the same screen.
Six months had taken the hard black edge off your days. Not all the way, certainly not miraculously. Just enough that the world had stopped being nothing and started being something strange and livable instead. Bright things got through now; lanterns were halos with actual centres; firelight sat low and gold instead of vanishing into heat alone; doorframes held themselves as rectangular flags you could aim for without help. People were still more suggestion than detail unless they moved, but motion had shape to it now, and colour came in washes, soft and bleeding at the edges like the whole world had been painted on wet paper and left out in the weather.
The cryocentre was a cold distant memory now that you tried not to think back on it. Those people, the ones who had no obligation to help you but did regardless, ended up dying in vain just for their efforts. You knew you couldn’t dwell - because you were still here – but guilt is funny like that.
You threaded the square the way you do now — by heat, by footsteps, by the way voices stack and fall in a space — letting the thin new sight ride next to the old skills that never left you. Judith cannoned into your hip with a war cry and a fist of liquorice. "You're sitting with me," she declared, already pulling you forward like a tugboat towing a barge toward the big tarp. "I've never seen a movie. If it's boring, can we leave?"
"If it's boring." you said, letting her swing you through the sea of people, "we'll lie about it and make everyone else jealous at how fake-awesome it was."
“You can’t do that.”
“I can do whatever I want. I’m older than you.”
“That’s not how that works.”
"Behave," Michonne said from the edge, arms folded, eyes soft in a way that meant she trusted you to misbehave responsibly. "Eugene is busting his ass to make this movie night happen, so we are gonna enjoy it. Though, him and the generator have reached a new base by now - I'm pretty sure he needs to marry that thing."
"Tell him to buy it dinner first," you called, hunching down to whisper in Judith’s ear so michonne wouldn’t hear; “hold onto your popcorn or Daryl Vader will steal it from you.”
Judith snickered, and Rosita slid past with a crate of jars, brushing your sleeve. "Left side's quieter," she said, like it was nothing, just one ordinary useful note among a hundred others. You tipped your head and let Judith tow you that way.
It felt like a lifetime ago when darkness promised danger, no matter where you were; but now in Alexandria it was the easy kind of darkness. Gentle, familiar, full of people who you considered family and knew well enough to identify by the shape of their noise: the low clink of jars from the snack table as you let Judith drag you onward, weaving through the square by instinct, blur, light, and memory. Carol laughing once, sharp and brief. The dry rustle of Dog shaking himself somewhere near the front row.
You never have to hunt for Daryl; even before your sight had started leaking back in strange little pieces, your body knew. Now you get to find him twice: first by that old pull in your chest, the certainty of him in a crowd, and then by the darker blur of his shape against the lantern-glow, one long shoulder cutting sharper than everything behind it. Dog was sprawled under the bench at his feet, sighing like an old man, and he instantly sat up at the sight of you, tail thumping like a metal detector the closer you got.
“There y’are,” Daryl muttered as you walked towards him, already shifting over. He dragged a hand once across the bench beside him to mark the space, and the second you sat down, his arm came up around your shoulders automatically, like he’d been waiting to complete the circuit. You leaned into him with a happy little exhale before you could help it. You took him in; leather, smoke, clean bite of soap you’d bullied him into using filled, the cool damp of his cup against your fingers when your hand bumped it on the bench. “Hey,” you beamed, and he hummed back a low ‘hey’ like a simple reflex, the words close enough to graze your temple.
Judith flopped down on your other side with all the grace of a sandbag and immediately started eating popcorn loud enough to be a public nuisance. You tilted your head back toward Daryl. “If we’d met before all this, would you have taken me to the movies?”
He snorted. “Nah.”
You gasped. “Wow. I sure know how to pick 'em”
“Woulda snuck ye in through the back,” he went on, voice going lazy with it. “Stolen some popcorn buckets like a pro... Woulda been as nervous as a cat in a room full o’ rocking chairs.”
Whatever the hell that means. You and Judith wore the same puzzled expression.“Yikes,” you said. “So, no manners, no date planning, and criminal activity. You really knew how to woo a girl.”
“Worked, didn’t it?” You smiled despite yourself and nudged his knee with yours. “Debatable.” His arm settled heavier around you. "You good to sit through it?"
"Yeah, I like listening," you said. "Voices tell on people more than faces do. But I'll need your world-class narration."
He went solemn on purpose. "Guy walks. Guy drives. Guy... kills some other guy-"
"So you're narrating yourself?" you quipped. He huffed, warm against your hair, and you smiled without trying. Judith, without looking away from the blank sheet screen, said, “You’re gonna be terrible at narrating Uncle Daryl.”
“I know,” you said. “That’s why it’s fun."
The projector gave a sudden cough of life. The sheet snapped to white, too clean, too bright, a blade under your lids. It knifed straight through the sunglasses-less mistake you’d made in a moment of arrogance, and your eyes watered at once. Before you could even swear, Daryl was already moving, shoulder turning into the light, hand lifting to block the worst of it, his other hand patting for the sunglasses left on the table like a genius. "C'mon, we’ll-"
"A corrective countermeasure," Eugene announced importantly from nowhere, appearing at your elbow as if beckoned. He pressed your sunglasses into your hand with a flourish, so pleased with himself that it was practically audible. You slid them on, and the pain eased down from knife to ache. "My hero," you said, and he gave a bashful little cough; “I endeavour to be of service.”
“Please go away before that gets any weirder,” Rosita called from nearby, and Eugene withdrew with dignity that did not survive contact with the extension cord he nearly tripped over.
Daryl's thumb skimmed your cheekbone, checking. "Better?"
"Much," you sniffed, and tipped your head toward the fence. “But now my mascara’s probably halfway down my face, and looking like a Japanese ghost from an eighties horror movie.”
He glanced over. “Look fine.”
“Liar. I know what running mascara feels like.”
“Still look fine.”
“Blind loyalty,” you said. He huffed a laugh. “Somethin’ like that.”
You got up before he could offer to come with you, threading your way toward the house by the fence where the porch light was on. Behind you, the square settled into that communal hush unique to things people had built out of scraps and enthusiasm—chairs creaking, children being shushed, the projector whining itself into purpose. At the sink, the mirror was mostly useless except as a pale rectangle, but you didn’t need it much. Damp fingers, careful swipe beneath each eye, quick check for disaster by feel. Good enough. It was then you felt you weren’t alone.
"Eugene," you said, not turning. "Shouldn't you be busy falling in love with Princess Leia or something?" You heard him jump suddenly, and you chuckled to yourself. “You are either exceptionally perceptive,” Eugene said from behind you, “or I have once again failed at stealth.”
You sighed, shaking your head. “You move like a filing cabinet.” He took that in with a small, wounded pause. “That is… a fair observation.” You dried your fingertips on a rag and leaned back against the sink. “What’s up Eugenius?”
There was an awkward beat before he said, lower now, “I was hoping to revisit the Baltimore proposition.”
You had known the second he’d followed you that it was going to be this. That or mansplaining some niche interest of his, which surprisingly, you would’ve preferred. But of course it was the former. “I have refined the route,” he continued. “Recalculated supply intervals. Improved the odds appreciably.”
"Eugene," you said before he could go any further, your tone laced with warning. "We've talked about this. I appreciate everything you’ve done - we do. But Daryl and I — we're just trying to live our lives. I've made peace with what it is. You should too."
He pushed once more, eager despite himself. “...A decommissioned military unit, suffice to say, is more promising than any other quest you have embarked on. I realise I said that last time, but… I urge you to reconsider.”
You let your head tip back for a second, staring at the blur of the ceiling light through your dark lenses. You’ve heard this all before, just dressed differently. Outside, the square erupted into cheers over something on the screen which made Eugene’s shoulder’s flinch slightly. Probably a spaceship or an explosion. Possibly both. “Me and Daryl are okay,” you said at last. “That's what matters.”
“Indeed,” Eugene said, to his credit, very gently. “And I am not attempting to undermine that. I merely… remain unconvinced that okay is the limit.” You folded your arms, and he took that as a sign to continue, quieter still. “There may be records. Equipment. Personnel notes. Cryogenic specialists tied to ocular trauma work. There may be nothing at all. But there may be somethin'.” You could hear the guilt in him even before he said, “The bunker remains, in part, my fault. I did not adequately identify the risk in time. It was my omission which partially amounted to your ocular damage, and I have had difficulty making peace with that.”
That landed softer than it would have months ago. The anger had burnt through a long while back. What remained was older, duller, and sadder. You exhaled through your nose. “Does anyone else know?”
"No one," he said quickly. "I have not disseminated the datum."
"Keep it that way.” He blinked, shoes creaking when he shifted his weight. "You… are not going to hit me?"
"Tempting," you said, and heard him wince. "But no. That won't help." He nodded hard enough to rustle. "You are angry… correct? You have repeatedly told me to quote on quote ‘give it a rest’, and I have ignored your requests nonetheless."
“I’m tired,” you corrected him. “Different thing.” That shut him up for a second. Then, careful as if approaching something skittish, he asked, “Would you at least consider it?”
You should’ve said no. You nearly did. Instead, you rubbed at the heel of your hand with your thumb and said, “I’ll think about it.” He let out a breath like he’d been punched and forgiven in the same motion. “That is indeed more than I had hoped for.” You pointed toward the door. "Go watch the movie."
"I will do that," he said, and hurried out. You stood there for another moment, listening to the sounds of the square. Laughter; the low murmur of voices; somebody shushing Jerry; the screen snapping once in the breeze. When you stepped back into the night, Daryl called your name straight away, not loud - pitched just for you. "Over here," he said again, a little louder, lifting his arm as you got closer so you could tuck straight back into his side, easy as breathing.
Once settled, Judith leaned halfway across you both to whisper, with enormous urgency, “Okay, I have a question.”
“What?” you whispered back. She pointed at the screen. “Why is he kissing his sister?” Daryl’s head tilted, and you giggled with your niece. "Good question, Jude." And just like that, with Eugene’s Baltimore pitch still sitting somewhere unwelcome in the back of your mind, the whole ridiculous square kept glowing on around you—lanterns swinging, popcorn crunching, the screen fluttering in the breeze like Alexandria had stolen itself one good night and refused to give it up.
"Everything okay?" he asked, eyes on the sheet, thumb drawing lazy circles at your shoulder like he was reminding your pulse how to behave. "Mhmm." You set your cheek to his shirt. "How do the sunglasses look on me? I look hot, right?"
"Look badass," he said. "Like folks'll be askin' for an autograph."
"Shut up," you said, affectionate, knee nudging his. He made a small sound-half agreement, half laugh, and when the movie bursted into explosions and excitement, he dipped his head just enough that you could hear him smile. The square breathed in together and you let the voices do the heavy lifting, happiness settling where it belonged. Your town noisy and alive, the screen breathing like a sail journeying offshore….
——————-
Your bedroom had gone still in all the usual ways and none of the useful ones.
The candle on the dresser had long since been pinched out, leaving the room to the softer dark you knew all too well. The window was cracked open to let the late-summer air in, curtains breathing now and then, the mattress warm in two distinct places, with Dog snoring faintly from his patch of floor like he worked a 9-to-5. Somewhere outside, a gate clicked and then settled. Farther off, somebody laughed once on the street and got shushed into silence. It was nights like these that reminded you that Alexandria, even asleep, was never really silent; it just changed pitch.
Beside you, Daryl had gone quiet ages ago. Not deep asleep, just in that heavy, half-drifting state he could drop into faster than any human being had a right to. One arm slung across his middle, one leg tangled up in the sheet, hair falling onto his face because he never listened when you told him it was getting too long for convenience.
You rolled onto your back. Then onto your side. Back again. It was like you were a godamn rotisserie chicken the way you were turning.
The pillow had somehow become wrong. Too hot on one side, too flat on the other, bunching beneath your neck like it had developed a personal grudge. You punched it once, twice, flipped it, sighed dramatically, then immediately froze because if you woke up Daryl, he was absolutely gonna see right through you and call you out.
The bed gave a small creak, and a beat passed. Hypothetically, you thought, because it wasn't like you were actually considering this. It would be two weeks, give or take, on the road if everything behaved - which, let's be honest, it never fucking did - eating what you could trap or beg or burn, sleeping in ditches when the weather slammed a door on you, counting miles by the ache in your knees.
You tossed again onto your side, rubbing your eyes,eyebrows undoubtedly sewing together as you stared at nothing. And, hypothetically, if you did end up going on this run, it wouldn't be for a crate of parts this time; it wouldn't be for a tank of diesel or some drum Eugene swore was liquid gold that would notably benefit the community as a whole. No — it would be for some random dude you didn't even know existed, let alone was still breathing. For a maybe-surgeon who might be nothing but a file folder turning to pulp in a flooded basement.
You huffed and turned around again, now staring at what was hopefully the back of Daryl's head and not straight at him - that may give away your fake-sleeping act. How stupid would it be to spend whatever you have left in this fucked up world chasing that kind of ghost? And worse: what if you found him and he said no? What if he said yes and your body said no again? What if you came back changed in the wrong direction? What if you didn't come back at all? You made it back from those other runs by the skin of your teeth; why test your luck?
You pictured Daryl's mouth when you said it out loud — the way it goes hard at the corners when he's torn between don't even think about it and I'll ride wherever you point me. Would he be pissed that you were thinking about it? Or that you almost weren't? Or that you were letting the idea keep you up at night without telling him the second Eugene blabbed. You were happy. Why fuck this up?
Then, rough with sleep but not confused in the slightest, Daryl said into the dark, "You know you're talkin' out loud, right?"
Shit. You went still for half a second, as if the blanket might help you disappear if you respected it enough. "No I wasn't," you said quickly, already committing to the lie with more confidence than it deserved. "Are you hearing voices again, honey? Nurse, he's out again." A quiet sound left him then, not quite a laugh, just the scrape of amusement dragged over gravel. The mattress shifted under his weight as he rolled a little more toward you, his voice thick and warm from almost-sleep. "Mm, right. Why d'you keep elbowin' me in the ribs?"
"I have not elbowed you."
"Ye have. Like six times."
"That is slander, sir," you informed him, drawing the sheet up with offended dignity even as one bare foot searched uselessly for a cool patch in the bed. "I'm sure you just ate somethin' funny, and your stomach's lashing out."
"You don't know what slander is."
"Oh, and you do, hotshot?" You turned your head toward the shape of him, indignant on principle. "Well, I know what vibes are, and yours are hostile." That got the smallest huff out of him. Not a proper laugh, not yet, but enough to tell you he knew exactly what you were doing and was allowing it for now. Which, annoyingly, only made you want to keep going. You rolled over again with a dramatic rustle of the sheet, hauled the blanket up to your shoulder, then immediately kicked it off your shin because somehow the fabric had become unbearable in the span of two seconds. Beside you, Daryl let the silence sit just long enough to make you aware of yourself. "Ain't hot," he said at last.
"I know. It's your farting. It's making some kind of greenhouse gas effect."
"I didn't-" He cut himself off with a disbelieving grunt. "Windows' open."
"I know that too."
"Then why you wrigglin' around like a worm on a hook?" You snatched the pillow and hauled it over your face. "That's— ugh. I dunno what you’re talking about.” The bed shifted again, but this time it wasn't just movement for comfort. He was closer now, turned toward you properly instead of lying half-away, and you could feel the difference immediately. The room seemed to gather around him when he paid attention like that. "What's wrong?” There it was. Not sharp. Not suspicious. No edge to it at all. Just simple, because after all this time, he knew the difference between you being genuinely wound up and you putting on a full performance because sleep had evaded you and you wanted company in your suffering, whether you liked to admit it or not. You kept the pillow over your face for one second longer, clinging to the last scraps of your dignity, then peeled it down to your chest. "Nothin'"
"Bullshit."
"I't's nothing!"
He didn't speak right away. That was the problem with him. He didn't always come after you with questions; sometimes he just went quiet in that deliberate way of his and let the silence do the work for him. It stretched there between you, warm and familiar, while outside the cracked window, the night breathed softly through the trees. Dog snored once from his place on the floor, oblivious. The house creaked around you both, settling deeper into itself, and Daryl waited. And because he waited, because he knew you would eventually fill the space rather than let it sit, you stared up into the dark and felt your resolve start fraying at the edges. You hated when he did that. Not because it was unfair, but because it worked. Daryl had this infuriating ability to say almost nothing and somehow make every extra word out of your mouth feel self-inflicted. You stared into the dark where he was - not his face exactly, not cleanly, but the shape of him there, broad and familiar, one shoulder a deeper shadow against the dim wash from the window
Finally, because sleep was clearly not coming and pretending otherwise was starting to feel futile, you shoved yourself upright in bed with a long-suffering sigh, crossed your legs beneath the sheet, and leaned in toward the dark shape of him like you were about to share state secrets. "You think Han Solo still would've gone for Princess Leia," you murmured, very casual, like you were asking whether he'd seen your socks, "if he'd known he was gonna end up frozen in a big gold slab?"
There was a pause. A long one. So long you were beginning to think he hadn't heard you. Then Daryl, utterly flat, said, "What?"
You turned toward him more fully, one hand planted in the mattress between you. "Han Solo. Carbonite. The slab. Cmon Dixon, work with me here."
"I know who Han Solo is."
"Do you?"
"Watched the whole damn thing." You made a face into the dark, even though you knew he probably couldn't see it any better than you could see his. "I don't believe you. I believe that you believe you watched the whole thing, but I don't think you really watched it." A low sound rumbled out of him then, halfway between a grunt and a laugh, the kind he made when he was trying not to encourage you and failing on principle. "That don't make sense."
"It is if you respect art."
"I don't." You pressed a hand dramatically to your chest. "That's actually so embarrassing for you."
The mattress gave a soft shift as he scrubbed a hand over his face. You could hear it in the rasp of skin against stubble, the tired exhale that followed "Start over," he said. "No space words."
"There are going to be some space words."
"Course there are."
You huffed and sat back against the headboard, tucking one knee under the blanket. "Okay," you said. "Forget the slab. Hypothetically. You're Han Solo."
"I ain't Han."
"Shut up. You're Han." You pointed toward him in the dark, then back at yourself. "I am, regrettably, Princess Leia."
"I still ain’t Han."
"Yes, you are," you said, with the exhausted patience of a woman burdened by being correct. "You are a grumpy, morally flexible man with great hair and unresolved feelings. Can I continue?"
"Fine," Daryl muttered, grinning under it now, whether he liked it or not, and let you go on. “I'm being generous, by the way. Don't interrupt." You poked a finger toward the shape of his chest, found him by accident, and left your hand there because it was easier than waving at the air. "I'm Leia. The kid is-"
"Uh-huh."
"Don't make that noise. It's correct."
"Who's the kid?" he asked. "The whiny one?"
"Luke," you said, scandalised. "Luke is the kid, and he is not whiny. Also, what did I say about interrupting?"
"He whines the whole damn movie."
"He has lived his entire life on a sand planet dressed like he teaches a kids' karate class. Let him complain." Daryl settled a little deeper into the pillow, fully awake now. You could hear the grin still trying to flatten itself out in his voice. "So the kid's Baltimore?"
"The kid is- Luke is..." You frowned, using your hand on his chest now like it was a map you could sort your thoughts on, drawing invisible routes over his skin. "I don't know. Maybe Baltimore. Except no, that's the problem. Baltimore is kind of Luke and also kind of Bespin and maybe also the carbonite chamber"
Daryl caught your wrist lightly before you could sketch the entire galaxy on his sternum. "Hold up," he said. "What the hell you talkin' bout Baltimore for?"
"Wait, no, listen." You twisted against his grip, already frowning at your own logic. "That's what I'm trying to explain. Baltimore is the mission, but it's also the trap, but it's also the thing inside the trap, and if you knew going in the rescue was gonna land you in some deep shit, would you still go?"
Daryl was speechless for a beat, then another, still holding your wrist where your hand had gone restless against him. Then, finally, he said, with painful sincerity, "You got all this from not sleepin?"
"Focus."
"I am focused," he said. "I'm focused on how none of that made a lick of sense." Was he wearing a helmet or something? because he was being unusually dense - you were being painfully transparent after all.
"It makes perfect sense if you're not dumb," you huffed, and he made a noise at that, doubtful and amused in equal measure. You pushed on before he could say anything else, words starting to pick up speed now that they were finally out. "If you knew you'd burn time and fuel and luck and maybe get a mouthful of absolutely nothing for your trouble, would you still get on the ship anyway? Because part of me keeps thinking this is just déjà vu in a new outfit and it would be stupid to go chasing some half-dead military miracle, and the other part of me is like, sure, let's go all half-cocked to mid nowhere on the off chance some stranger fixes my eyes, that sounds rea-" Daryl caught both your hands that time before you could spin yourself all the way up, folding them between his palms and pinning them gently to his chest. "Baby," he said, voice low and rough and much too fond for how annoying you were being, "ya still ain't makin' sense. Slow the hell down. Try again" You stared at him, ready to say don't tell me what to do and stick your tongue out. Then, with great dignity, you groaned and flopped back onto your pillow hard enough to make the mattress complain."You are impossible to do a metaphor with."
"Try talkin' about real stuff, then." You picked at the sheet between your fingers, suddenly finding that much easier than answering. After a few seconds, he added, "Eugene talked to you again, huh?"
So he isn't wearing a helmet. "I thought he'd given up," you admitted at last, and felt the tiny shift in Daryl beside you - not quite a flinch, but close, the kind men do when a headache finally says its own name out loud. "He cornered me during the movie. Baltimore again. Defunct military unit - the same pitch as before. Files, equipment, maybe a specialist who's..." You exhaled. "I don't know. Alive. Willing. Capable."
Daryl didn't say anything straight away. The sheet rasped softly as he rolled onto his side to face you properly, and after a second his hand found your calf under the blanket and squeezed once, absent and grounding, thumb rubbing there like he was smoothing the thought out without asking permission. "It's been nagging me," you said. "And I hate that it's been nagging me, because that feels—" Your hand moved uselessly in the dark, taking in all of it: the bed, the room, the house around you, the town outside where everyone you loved was sleeping safe. "-disloyal, somehow. Like I'm not grateful enough for this. For what I do have." His hand slid down and found yours, closing around it and you swallowed. "We're good," you said, softer now. "We're happy." Daryl gave your hand a small squeeze, and you whispered, so quietly it felt less like speech than a thought you'd set gently between you, "What if this is the part where we figure out how to be happy and not just... survive?"
That one landed somewhere deep. “...Thought you said this was nothin"," he murmured, squeezing your fingers again. "Cause that ain't nothin" You let out a weak little breath that wanted to be a laugh and missed.
There was a long pause, then his thumb dragged once over your skin through the sheet, slow and thoughtful. You pulled the blanket up higher over your shoulder like that would somehow make you less readable. " Just-" You stopped, started again. "I don't know if I want to be one of those people who keep chasing a thing that isn't meant to be, you know?" Words werecoming easier now that you'd finally tipped them loose. "We got home. We're okay. Better than okay, most days. We have a house. We have full bellies. We have neighbours who are way too comfortable walking in without knocking. We have movie nights, and Judith asking deeply upsetting questions about incest in Star Wars. This is... good. This is really good." Your hand moved vaguely in the dark between you, eventually resting on his heart. "And I think maybe I'm scared of being stupid enough to leave something good for something that sounds... too good to be true... Because we've dealt with a very long list of things that were too good to be true”
A very, very long list of things that were way too fucking good to be true. Daryl was quiet long enough that you turned your head, squinting into the dark as if you could drag more out of him by effort alone. All you got was the same soft blur you'd had a second ago - the slope of his shoulder against the pillow, the darker shape of his hair, the broad warmth of him taking up his side of the bed like something built into the room. When he spoke, it was low and close. "Ain't stupid."
You let out a breath through your nose. "That's not convincing."
"It ain't meant to be convincing."
The plainness of it made you press your lips together. Your fingers, still caught in the blanket, tightened there instead, bunching the sheet in your fist. The cotton was warm from both of you, smelling faintly of soap and skin and that lived-in, sun-dried smell your bedroom always carried by the end of the day. Behind you, the headboard gave a faint creak when you shifted, and Daryl went on, voice sleep-rough and steady, each word laid down like he wasn't in any hurry for you to run from them. "You ain't talkin' about goin' 'cause you think what we got here ain't enough. You know it is."
That hit, because it was exactly the thing you'd been bracing for him to get wrong. You turned more fully then, half tangling yourself in the sheet. "I do," you said quickly, almost tripping over it in your hurry to make him understand. "l know that.” You pulled the blanket higher without thinking, tucking it against your chest, and edged closer until your shin knocked his, until the space between you felt less like distance and more like something bridged. "I'm not-" You stopped, swallowed, started again. "I'm not looking past this. I'm not sitting here wishing for some other life." Your fingers slid down and caught his hand properly now, lacing there, holding hard. "I know what we have."
"I know ya do," he said. So easily it almost hurt. Not because it was dismissive; he believed you without needing the performance, without making you prove it harder than this. You lay there with that for a second, your grip loosening just enough to turn into something softer, your thumb moving over his knuckles in a slow, absent stroke.
Daryl shifted closer, not by much, just enough that his knee found yours under the sheet and stayed there, warm and solid, a quiet answer of its own. "But," he said.
You frowned. "But?"
"... if you don't go, you ain't gonna forget about it either."
You opened your mouth but immediately closed it. Because there it was - the ugly little truth of it, simple as a bruise. You felt it in the way your fingers stilled over his hand, in the way your shoulders tightened before you could stop them, in the way your body knew before your pride did that he'd hit bullseye.
Still, he didn't pounce. Didn't tighten his grip or lean in or push while you were open. He just stayed where he was, knee to knee with you in the dark, hand warm in yours, talking in that infuriatingly plainful way of his that always made things sound simpler than they felt and somehow cut closer because of it.
"You'll do what ya always do. Decide you're fine. Mean it, mostly. Build your life around it. Get real good at pretendin' ya forgot about ithe whole thing." His hand slid from your calf to your ankle, thumb rubbing there once. "Then every time somethin' goes wrong, every time you get one o' those bad days, it's all gonna come back."
You stared at him. "...You rehearse that?"
He snorted. "No."
"Because that was kinda good."
"Shuddup."
"No, seriously. Where did you get that from."
"Go to hell." You smiled despite yourself, then let it fade a little as you looked down at the blanket between you. "I hate that you know me." He made a soft, unimpressed sound. "Been a while now."
You let out a breath that wanted to become a laugh and almost became something sadder instead. "I'm not saying no because I don't want it," you said after a while. "I'd be saying no because... I'm tired." His answer came right away. "I know."
And that nearly undid you more than anything else. Because there it was - the whole of it, really. Not fear, not cowardice, not lack of hope. Just exhaustion. The kind that sits in your bones and makes even wanting feel expensive. The mattress dipped as he pushed himself up onto an elbow. A hand found your hip over the sheet, warm and heavy. "You ain't gotta decide tonight," he said. "Ain't gotta decide for Eugene, neither. But... eventually." You turned your face toward the blur of him. "And what if I decide no?" you asked. "Then we don't go," he shrugged. "I'll tell Eugene to back off."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"And if I decide yes?"
The corner of his mouth moved. You heard it before you saw it. "I'll have the bike pointed at dawn." He frowned, recalculated. "Truck, if ya want. Or we walk the whole damn way - whatever. We go find your weird eye doctor no matter what."
You let out a short laugh. "That easy?”
"Fuck no," he said. "But that simple." There was a difference. He was right about that too, unfortunately. You lay there another quiet moment, listening to Dog snore, to Daryl breathe, to the house holding itself around you both like it knew better than to interrupt.
Then you said, very small, "I think I'd always wonder." Daryl didn't answer with triumph. Didn't do that aggravating told you so thing he had every right to. He just reached out and smoothed a hand once over your side, from rib to waist. "Yeah," he said. "Me too."
You turned onto your side and shoved at his shoulder. "Scooch.” He gave a sleepy grunt but shifted back enough to let you in, and you wriggled toward your usual station by touch and habit until your back found his chest, and his arm came around you like a seatbelt. You tucked yourself in with a dramatic sigh. "Well," you said into the pillow, "would you look at us." He made a grumbling noise which sounded like a question; "I just mean the tables have turned. You're being all level-headed and emotionally available. I'm spiralling in bed about military eye doctors." You snorted softly. "Holy shit. Are we growing as people?" His nose brushed the back of your head when he huffed. "Go to sleep, dumbass." You smiled into the pillow. He adjusted his arm then to cinch you closer to him so there was no space left, burying his face in your hair like it was a better source for oxygen, breathing you in like a vapour, holding on tight like you might fade away. Then, "I am so not Princess Leia," you said, breaking the peace. "Who am I kidding — Im C3PO. With tits.”
His leg nudged yours, as if to say, 'that's enough now'. "Big day tomorrow," he muttered into your hair. "Go ta sleep. 'Fore I knock ya out." And held you there while your thoughts finally slowed down and stopped running long enough to let sleep catch up.
⸻
Going day to day on the road was a simple fact of your life together; you simply had a breif six month intermission, and now you're back to it. Two weeks since you left, and days didn't pass so much as stack on top of another. Dawns that smelled of cold metal and pine, coffees boiled thin over stubborn flames, the world reduced to a ledger of small survivals and the long thread of engine-vibration braided under your spine until the days blurred into each other. The only way to tell you were closing in on anything new was the way the air changed on your tongue, the way the wind stopped tasting like dust and started tasting like salt.
You were on the bike the way you're on it now, knees bracketing Daryl's hips, your chest fitted to his back, the noise-cancelling headphones clamping the world down to something you can live inside, your arms wrapped low so you feel every gear change as a shift under your forearms rather than a punch at your eardrums.
The wind carried the sea first as rumor and then as proof, cool and damp and clean enough to cut; and then, layered under it, something riper, a blunt edge that said harbour, said nets, said catch laid out for gutting, and your body took the news badly, your mouth filling with that quick, traitorous flood of saliva that means you have seconds, not minutes.
You patted Daryl's ribs hard - your signal for stop - and raised your voice without taking the headphones off because there wasn't time, words tumbling out strangled and too loud to your own ears, stop stop stop, and he was already rolling out of the throttle. In Daryl fashion, he'd been cruising fast on the open stretch for an impromptu spew attack, and the bike still carried too much of its own intention. You made the wrong call because your stomach made it for you, swinging a leg off before the speed had died, the ground coming up wrong and sideways, the tumble a series of small, mean negotiations - hip, shoulder, palms - grit biting, breath blasted out of you in a grunt you didn't hear.
You crawled three staggering hands from where you landed because you were not going to do this on your boots, and then your body took over, folding you over your hands, the heave brutal and impersonal, the way these things always are when there's nothing left to bargain with. Behind you the engine swung around and rose once in a sharp snarl and then cut; Daryl hit the ground running, the scuff of his boots and the clatter of the kickstand arriving at the same time his hand did, warm between your shoulder blades, the old steady circle he draws even when you're past listening to anything except your own body's hard refusal.
"Easy," he said, close to your ear so you could catch it even through the muffle, "That's it, it's alright, just breathe when it lets ya," and he swept your hair back and kept it there with the heel of his hand, his other palm braced at your side so you felt him like a wall you could lean on between heaves. It came in waves - acid and air and that cruel, empty hitch that wrings you for ghosts - and when the worst of it finally let go, you angled an elbow, rolled to your hip, and collapsed onto your back in a graceless sprawl that very deliberately missed the mess, the world a bright, swimming white for a second before it settled.
He crouched over you, blocking the sun, worry written so plain on his face you read it without eyes. "Where'd that come from?" he asked, not accusing, just shaken by the speed of it. "Smell of fish," you got out between breaths, swallowing against the last slick taste in your mouth. "Set me off." He blinked, baffled. "Ya love fish," he said, not like a joke, like an inventory item that didn't fit the ledger anymore.
"Then... motion," you said, flapping a weak hand at the bike. "Car-sick. Bike-sick. Whatever." You could feel his squint even before you caught it, the since when rising, so you bulldozed past it with a breath that wanted to be steadier than it was. "Christ, are we almost there? We ain't getting any younger."
He huffed a laugh that wasn't quite a laugh, relief leaking out sideways now that you were horizontal and not actively heaving on him. "Yeah. If you'd waited three more minutes to puke up breakfast, I was bout to turn into the harbour." He slid a canteen under your hand, the cap already open, his fingers careful around yours so you could sip without your stomach kicking again. "Rinse. Slow."
You did, the water metallic and cold, and when the first careful sips start without protest, he stood, planted his feet, and offered you both hands in that old-fashioned way that makes you smile even when you don't have it in you, hauling you up with a clean, even pull that didn't jostle anything. He checked the scrape at your knee with a glance and a soft tsk that meant we'll clean it when we stop, righted the bike in one practised lean, and left it idling quietly, one glove tucked under the throttle to keep it from creeping. "You good?" he asked as you started walking, his shoulder brushing yours once on purpose. "You took a helluva tumble."
"I'm good," you said, and the words steadied as you kept moving. "Probably just nerves. Let's go."
He didn't press; instead, he fell into step beside you, the two of you skirting the shoulder. Suddenly, the harbour you'd been chasing for days at last showing itself as more than a rumor. You walked the bike the last stretch, engine off, so the only hum left was in your bones. Early afternoon had gone that flat pewter that makes the water read as metal; the sky hung low enough to touch the mastheads, gulls shearing along the wind line and scolding anything that didn't belong. Halyards ticked against aluminium in a loose, arrhythmic clatter; somewhere a bell buoy thunked, lazy and off-time. The air was a stack of smells-iodine and kelp, wet rope, old diesel, the sour-sweet of bait, a bleach bite from somewhere that took the fish right out of the fish smell. Waves shouldered the pilings with that slow slap that sounds like clapping.
Daryl's hand was light on the bar, guiding the bike through coils of line and stacks of pots, crab and lobster, wire cages pyramided to the eaves, buoys faded to chalk pastels and scabbed with tar. Rain was sitting out there in the grey, not falling yet, just letting everyone know it was coming.
"Bar up ahead," he said, chin tipping toward a low building at the foot of the pier, wood black with weather, a window throwing a slab of warm light onto wet boards. "Looks like it's got customers." As you got nearer, the sounds separated - chairs scuffing, a burst of laughter that had too many voices in it for a head count, the bright clink of glass on glass, the scrape of a knife on a cutting board. Sounds like it's happy hour. "If anyone's gonna know where our guy is," Daryl added, voice low, "he's in there, or somebody drinkin' with him is."
The Bell, as the sign read, sat at the foot of the harbour like it had grown there by stubbornness alone, all blackened timber and salt-stiff windows, a low spill of warm yellow light falling out across the slick boards. Up close, the place smelled of old fry oil, wet rope, beer gone sour in the cracks, and the sea pushing its cold breath through every seam in the wood. Beyond it, somewhere out in the thickening grey, a lighthouse turned slow and pale over the water, washing the moored boats in a brief ghost-blink before moving on.
You lifted one earcup off your head to let the noise in fully, the left side of the world blooming louder: a radio trying to fight the room, someone whistling out of tune, the steady animal sound a crowd makes when it stops thinking about itself. He put the bike on its stand and rolled his shoulders once, eyes skimming the edges the way he always did -door, back door, windows tight as fists, a narrow run of shadow behind a pyramid of pots big enough to hide two people. "We can sit off," he said, like laying out cards. "Wait for a smoke break, peel one, ask nice. Or take that corner behind the crab pots, count heads through the glass, pick who we want."
"Or," you said, and he looked at you then because he knew that tone, "we just go in."
He frowned, and he didn't need to say what-the-fuck because you already knew he was wearing his what-the-fuck face. Not to be confused with his sex face, however, because they are similar, but confusion of the two could be fatal.
"What?" you shrugged, your train of thought struggling to stay on track. "It seems like they're open, and this way we let 'em get the right count," you said. "We are just two tired people, not raiders skulking in their stacks. Places like this—" you let the word cover every small town bar left in the world, "-they close ranks hard if you start by sneaking. If he's in there, we spook him if we lurk. If he's not, we make allies fast or we don't get a boat. Let them underestimate us; that's our favourite anyway." You bumped his arm with your elbow, softening it. "Cmon, yknow I love a grand entrance."
He worked his jaw once, the way he does when he's moving a yes into place. The corner of his mouth twitched. "May as well. Mat says welcome," he said finally, like he was humouring you and also agreeing, and he stepped ahead by half a pace, not enough to herd, just enough that if the room behind that door turned ugly, he’d be the first thing it hit. You caught the shift in him in the way his silence went flatter and more alert as you walked the rest of the path towards 'The Bell', and you adjusted with him automatically, knife settled where your hand knew to find it if it had to.
Daryl swung the door wide. Heat rolled out first, the way you feel heat when you open an oven - fry oil and beer and sea-wet wool - then the light, then the sound, and then the sudden lack of it. Laughter broke off mid-curve; a glass clinked and didn't clink again; the radio kept trying for three more bars before someone's hand found the dial and turned it down without taking their eyes off the doorway - or you. You felt thirty heads do the same small animal thing - lift, fix, weigh - and for a heartbeat, the only sound left was the ocean working the pilings under the floor.
The whole place seemed to lean, the air dense with the attention of bodies gone still.
Both of you stopped dead. And because ten seconds of silence might as well have been ten years as far as you were concerned, you smiled into it and said, “Table for two?”
Nothing. Then, because apparently humiliation had never once stopped you in your life, you added, “Or is there, like, a dress code we're not meeting? I have some cleaner pants in my bag.” Yep - your husband was audibly cursing your mouth from beside you under his breath. But that seemed to break the tension, thank god —- not with laughter exactly, but a crack running through the room. Murmurs. Breath let out. A few chairs creaking as men shifted and looked at each other instead of just at you. Someone muttered something too low and too quick for Daryl to catch, but your hearing picked it out of the room’s nervous rustle anyway.
Jesus Christ.
She’s real.
How long’s it been?
Don’t just stand there, Tommy, for fuck’s sake—
A different voice, older, roughened flat by tobacco and weather: Don’t.
But somebody did —- boots crossed the floorboards toward you, hesitant at first, then faster, as if he’d lost his nerve once already and was trying not to lose it again. When he stopped in front of you, his breath hitched like the moment had reached him a beat later than the rest of his body. “Well,” he said, too polite, his accent soft around the edges in a way that sounded old-coast, old-family, worn down by workin on a boat. “You’ll have to forgive ‘em. We don’t get much in the way of surprises anymore.” You turned toward the voice, catching only a pale blur of face and shoulders against the warmer dark behind him. “Really?” you said. “Could’ve fooled me. This feels incredibly normal.”
A few more murmurs, this time, there were actual smiles in them. The man gave a nervous little laugh, like he was startled to have produced one at all. “Tom,” he said. “Tom Phelan.” You heard the rustle of cloth before you understood what he was doing. His hand, held out to Daryl, and he just looked at it. You didn’t need eyes for that pause. You could feel it in the room all over again, the tiny collective wait, every man in the place watching to see what he’d do. It stretched long enough to get embarrassing, and then Daryl said, flat as old wood, “S’up— Dixon” and left it there. Tom’s offered hand hovered for one awkward second longer before dropping back to his side. To his credit, he covered it fast. “Right,” he said, clearing his throat. Then, because he was apparently determined to suffer through this interaction until he’d made it past the worst of it, he turned to you and tried again, voice gentler now, almost careful. “Ma’am.” He must have put his hand out to you, too, because the silence shifted shape, sharpened with expectation, and when you didn’t take anything, there was a tiny, ugly pause. Not because you meant to snub him. Just because you had no clue his hand was there.
Daryl moved before the pause could ripen. “We’re just lookin’ to sit down,” he said, easy enough on the surface that only someone who knew him would hear the warning laid under it. “Been on the road a while.”
Tom pulled back immediately, that same nervous politeness snapping into place like a button done too fast. “Right, yes, of course, sit, absolutely. We’ve got room.” Someone nearby dragged out a chair in a hurry, the wooden legs shrieking over the floorboards, and the sudden noise made you twitch before you could stop it. A hand touched the back of the chair lightly, guiding it in. “Here you are,” said another voice, older than Tom’s, coming from your left. “Mind the leg.”
“Thanks,” you said, smiling automatically in the direction of the help even though the whole room still felt wrong on your skin. Daryl waited until you’d found the chair and sat before he took the one beside you. You could feel him angling himself just enough to break the worst of the room’s line on you, could hear the way the men nearest had to keep shifting if they wanted to keep looking.
The barkeep called from behind the bar, “You eatin’ or just drinkin’?” Before Daryl could answer, Tom said, “Both. Get ’em something hot.” That earned him a sharp mutter from somewhere deeper in the room which Tom ignored. The barman was a different sort from him, broader and less shy, voice carrying the flat authority of someone used to feeding men before arguing with them. Glass clinked. A tap hissed. “What’ll it be, then?”
“Beer’s fine,” you said. Daryl let a beat pass, weighing the room, then said, “you said you got food?.”
“We got plenty.” The barkeep’s tone warmed on that, pride slipping in despite the strangeness of the moment. “Chowder’s on. Fried smelts. Bread fresh enough not to hurt nobody.”
“Show-off,” someone muttered.
“You want to cook, Declan, be my guest,” the barkeep called back. A low ripple moved through the room, not quite laughter, but the shape of it. Enough that the place remembered how to breathe again. Tom stayed near your table instead of drifting off like any sane host would have. You could feel him there, hovering just outside rude, eager and unsure all at once. One of the men nearest dragged his stool around to face a little more toward you. Another did the same. The floorboards ticked and shifted with the subtle movement of bodies pretending not to move closer.
“Where you come in from?” the barkeep asked as he poured. The beer hit the glass in a lively hiss, then settled. Daryl answered before you could. “Community inland.” Not a name, just enough to mean we belong somewhere; that people will notice if we don’t return. “That so.” The barkeep set two bottles down with a soft thud and, from the sound of it, slid one toward Daryl first. “Still got many there?”
“Whole town full,” Daryl said. In other words – more than you can handle. Tom looked between you both. “You’re a long way from inland.”
You picked up the thread before Daryl could shut it down by sheer bluntness. “We’ve been heading along the coast a while,” you said, letting your tone go airy and a little tired, like this was all much less deliberate than it really was. “Thought we’d see what was left of it before it all.... fell into the sea.”
Ok you pulled that out your ass but it seemed to go over how you intended; more silence, but a different kind this time. Interested. Measuring. Then a voice from the corner, old enough to creak, said, “Best bits already did.” A few men murmured their agreement. The barkeep set your drink down close enough that you found it by the cool kiss of glass against your fingers. “Plenty worth seeing still,” he said. “If you’re the sort who likes bad weather and disappointment.”
“Quite the travel brochure,” you murmured into your beer. Tom laughed again, more easily now. “If you’re heading north after this, give Blackwater Inlet a miss. Shoals’ll open your hull like a tin can if you don’t know the channel.”
“And keep away from Gannet Point,” the barkeep added, more serious. “No catch worth that water.” Someone behind him said, “Or Widow Light after fog.”
Ominous much. Was that code for something? Tom saw your confused expression and elaborated. "The lighthouse - named Widow's light. You didnt see it coming in?" No, Tom, I didnt see the lighthouse because I can't see for shit. And who the fuck would call a lighthouse ‘Widow’s light’?? "Ooh right, that lighthouse," you feigned. You turned your bottle once against the table with your fingertips, listening to the men nearest settle back into themselves by degrees. “Hey, i got a question,” you said, needing to fill the silence with literally anything. “How come there are barely any walkers out here?” A few faces blinked at you. Tom frowned politely. “Any what?”
“The dead,” you said. “Biters. Roamers. Geeks. Whatever you wanna call them. Numbers have been getting thinner the further we go out - haven’t seen one for a few days now. Not that I’m complaining or anything.” That got a snort from somewhere to your right and a low, surprised chuckle from deeper in the bar. “Rippers,” the barkeep said, like he was correcting the name of a bird. “We call ’em rippers.”
You tipped your head. “Huh. Don’t worry, not all of us have the creative talent. Worst one I heard was epidermis epicureans’.” Thanks Eugenius.
“Rippers r’more accurate,” said the older voice from the back — Bran, maybe, if you were matching names right. “Walkers sounds too gentle.” Tom shifted his weight against the table edge. “Truth is, we don’t get many. Not like inland. Never did, not even when it all first went wrong. Hook was isolated before the world got any stupider than it already was, and most of the dead seem to prefer a road to a shoreline.”
“Roamers move for noise and habit,” the barkeep added while he reached for another bowl behind the counter. “More of both inland. Streets, houses, old footpaths. Out here they get bogged in the flats or pulled under in the rip. Tide does for the rest.”
“We get the odd one washed up,” someone else said. “Storms’ll drag a few in. A boat breaks loose now and then with one still on it, though less now than there used to be. But mostly they don’t care for Widow's Hook.” A little glumly, he said it, with the sort of weary pride that came from surviving long enough to sound bored by catastrophe. Your eye twitched. Lucky sons of bitches.
The food arrived before you could ask if this place was seriously called Widow's Hook. A bowl was set in front of you, steam rolling up rich and fishy and laced with cream, with a hunk of bread dropped alongside it so thick it could’ve stopped a bullet if the crust was hard enough. Another landed in front of Daryl, followed by a plate of fried smelts and a little dish of something that smelled sharply of vinegar and dill. You looked down at the heat of it, then over at Daryl. Or rather in his direction, because the room had gone thick with attention again in that irritating, skin-prickling way that told you they were all pretending not to watch whether you’d eat.
Daryl had gone quiet beside you, which in his case usually meant he was doing enough watching for the both of you. Neither of you move; you leaned a little closer to your bowl and sniffed it, careful and suspicious, and somewhere nearby a chair creaked as someone shifted closer. “Everything alright with it?” Tom asked.
You kept sniffing. “What’s in it?” A brief pause, as if he had not expected to be challenged by chowder. “Uhh fish,” he said carefully. “Cream we got from tradin’. Potato’s that we grow here. Onions too. A bit of fennel. Pepper.”
“With a side of roofies?” you asked. The silence that followed was not offended, exactly. Just deeply, profoundly confused. “With a side of what?” asked the barkeep. Daryl made the tiniest sound beside you, something caught between a cough and a laugh he was trying very hard not to let out.
“You know,” you said, lifting your spoon and gesturing vaguely over the bowl. “Sedatives. Sleepy-time harbour special. Wake up minus a kidney. Very seasonal.”
Tom stared at you. Then at the barkeep. Then back at you. “Why,” he asked, with such genuine bafflement it almost circled back to funny, “would we poison your supper?”
You weighed that for a second, head tipped. “Honestly?” you said. “You’ve all been staring like we crawled out of the sea. So… felt worth checking.”
That got a rough burst of laughter from one of the back tables, too loud and too sudden to be entirely comfortable. A few others joined in after a beat, more because they didn’t know what else to do, but the barkeep looked almost insulted. “If I was poisoning you, I wouldn’t waste good fennel on it.”
“There, y’see,” Daryl murmured beside you, voice low enough that only you caught it. “Man’s got principles.” You turned your head toward him, deadpan. “That does make me feel better, actually.” Tom was still looking faintly affronted. “We don’t poison guests. Certainly not gentlewomen.” Was there a gentlewoman here, or was he talking about you? “No,” said Bran from somewhere in the back, dry as old rope. “You just ask strange questions and feed ’em to death.” The room loosened another notch after that. Not warm, but less brittle. The kind of easing that happened when people decided they understood enough of you to stop bracing for the worst.
You and Daryl shared one of those tiny pauses that only really existed between people who’d survived too much together — all the conversation that passed in none at all. Strange room. Strange men. Unknown food. But hot food. Real food. And unless these people had developed a very elaborate and very unnecessary system for murdering drifters with seafood, the odds were probably in your favour. You lifted the spoon. “Guess if we die,” you said, “at least we’ll die with a full stomach.” Daryl grunted, picked up his own, and that was apparently all the blessing either of you needed. The chowder was great, annoyingly so. You hated when suspicious people could cook.
For a minute or two the room settled around the simpler business of eating, and in the gap that made, Daryl asked, “So how’s this place still runnin’?” It was casual enough to pass. Mild. Nothing in it that shouted investigation. But you knew him well enough to hear the testing under it, the little feeler sent into the room to see what the room would send back. The barkeep wiped his hands on a towel and shrugged one thick shoulder. “Same as anything else that’s still standing. We mind what’s ours. Fix what breaks. Don’t invite more people than the place can hold.”
“We fish,” Tom added, more softly. “Trap crab when the season’s right. Smoke what we can’t trade with other fishing communities along the coast. Most things worth having still come by boat eventually, one way or another. Pretty much run the same as before.”
“Helps that nobody much wants what we’ve got,” Bran said.
“That ain’t true,” muttered somebody else. “Storm took half our east moorings two winters back, and we still had bastards nosing around for fuel.”
“Fuel’s always worth wanting,” said the barkeep. “But we’re a pain in the ass to reach and uglier to leave.” That drew another low flicker of laughter. Tom rested his knuckles lightly on the edge of the table. “Mostly, we were built for hard weather before the dead ever got here. Hard weather and thin years. Makes the end of the world feel less original than advertised.” You took a swallow of beer, cool and bitter and a little too fast on an emptier stomach than you’d realised, and let the sounds of the room rearrange themselves around you. Chairs scraping, bowls being lifted, the slow clink of glass, somebody somewhere still not quite done whispering.
When Tom asked if you wanted more bread, you shook your head. “I’m good.”
“Beer?” He offered, and you lifted the bottle a little in answer and took another sip. That was when a voice from farther back in the room — younger than Bran, older than Tom, pitched just loud enough to carry — asked, “You two married?”
The question landed oddly. Not aggressive, not even especially personal by post-apocalypse standards, and still something about it made the air around your shoulders tighten. Daryl answered first. “Uh, yeah.” At the same time, you nodded with a thin smile, holding up your left hand to show your wedding band. “Very much married.”
A murmur moved through the room after that, low and quick and impossible for most people to sort into anything useful. For Daryl, it was only noise. For you, it came in broken pieces:
Told you.
Ring on her left hand—
Hoped maybe sister, first look—
Christ, look at her—
Shut up.
How long d’you reckon—
That last one dissolved under the scrape of a chair, but by then it didn’t matter.
Because the penny, which had apparently spent the last several minutes rolling around the floorboards in search of a dramatic moment, finally dropped. It wasn’t just the silence. Or the questions. Or the way they kept addressing Daryl a fraction of a beat sooner than they addressed you. It was the incessant staring — not the usual kind. Not curiosity alone. Something more specific. Something that had sharpened and then tried to disguise itself. You didn’t need to be able to see to tell that you were the subject – it was so palpable it sent chills.
Then, because pretending nothing had changed was clearly no longer on the table, you turned your face toward Daryl and said under your breath, “I’m being really obviously blind, right?” There was not even the dignity of a pause. “Yup,” he said, and patted your thigh under the table. You let your head fall back a little. “Great.” Tom made a small sound, somewhere between apology and sudden realisation. “Ah,” he said. “Pardon us. It wasn’t obvious miss—” Liar. The room didn't go silent this time, but it did shift again, attention changing flavour all at once. Not less intense. Just reorganised. Surprise, the typical pity in one corner, fascination in another, something almost reverent from somewhere near the back that made your skin crawl. “We didn’t realise,” the barkeeper corrected, and though his voice was careful, there was something else under it now too — not just politeness, but shock dressed as manners. You nodded once, because what else were you supposed to do with that? “Happens,” you said, reaching for your beer again, more to end the moment than because you wanted it - they weren't exactly winning any awards for best beer.
The room tried very hard to recover, and in that effort alone, you could feel how much this changed things for whatever reason. If you didn't end up getting your miracle cure, you really needed to work on acting like you can see - it's kinda a mood killer now.
You let it sit for a beat, then took another easy sip of beer, turning the bottle once between your fingers, and said, as if the thought had only just drifted back to you on the smell of salt and old stories, “Y’know, now that I’m thinkin’ about it, I knew a guy once who was supposed to be set up somewhere round here.”
Daryl shifted beside you just enough that his thigh pressed more firmly to yours under the table and his chair gave the faintest scrape against the floorboards, a subtle edging-in that would’ve meant nothing to anybody who didn’t know him. You knew better; he was bringing himself closer without making a show of it, settling into that dangerous stillness he got when his body had decided the room was too interested in you and was preparing, quietly, for the possibility of proving why that was a bad idea.
Tom, still hovering near the table like a man who couldn’t quite decide whether he was hosting you or guarding you, said, “That so?”
“Mm.” You kept your tone loose, distracted, eyes down on the neck of the bottle. “God, what was his name— Kepner? No, that ain’t it. Ahh -Kessler! Definitely Kessler. Funny, right? Didn’t even occur to me till just now we might’ve wandered into his neighbourhood.” The effect was immediate. No silence this time — something more useful. The room broke. Not into chaos, not even into alarm, but into overlapping reactions so quick and unguarded they almost tripped over one another. “Kessler?”
“The hell are we talkin’ about that bastard for—”
“You mean old Kessler on the Rock?”
“Christ, ain’t heard that name in a while.”
“Man’s still mean, if that’s what you’re askin’.”
Tom swore softly under his breath, not angry so much as exasperated, like the room had failed some private test of discretion. The barkeep looked up from the rag he’d been running through his hands and gave you a longer, flatter look than before. Daryl didn’t move; you could feel him noticing everything. His hand stayed wrapped around his beer, but his grip had changed. Looser at a glance, ready underneath. He was turned just enough now that if anybody reached for you too quick, they’d hit him first, and from the feel of him, you guessed his eyes were moving from face to face, sorting who spoke too fast, who looked worried, who looked eager.
You kept yourself casual. “Oh, so he is still around,” you said, and hated how pleased you sounded despite yourself. You covered it with a little huff through your nose. “I wasn’t even sure he’d made it this long. He was some kind of eye doctor thing for the military, right?” That got you another scatter of voices. “Eye doctor thing,” somebody repeated, amused. “That’s one way to put it.”
“He’ll like that.”
“He won’t. He don’t like anything.” A dry voice from farther back, one that hadn’t said much so far, cut in over the rest. “He wasn’t military. Not proper. Federal contract, defence-adjacent, all that paperwork nonsense. But he worked with Navy cases, so he started wearin’ it like rank and never stopped.” The speaker came closer as he talked, his boots measured on the warped floorboards. You couldn’t make out much of him beyond a broad outline and the drag of a limp in one step out of four, but his voice was older, steadier than Tom’s, and had that tone some men got when they’d spent too long surviving on competence and contempt. “Kessler was the chief doctor on St. Hale,” he went on. “Or what was left of it by then.” You looked up just enough to sell mild interest instead of desperate hope. “St. Hale?” That won you a little pause, and in it you heard the room recalibrate around the fact that you won't know the local geography. Tom answered first. “Island fort out in the channel.”
“Wasn’t always a fort,” the older voice corrected. “Looked like one.”
“Everything old on a rock looks like one.” The barkeep snorted. “Go on, then, Eamon. Since you know every nail in it.” Eamon, if that was him, shifted his weight. “It started as a signal station,” he said. “Long before any of us. Then Coast Guard took pieces of it. Then Navy. Then some federal medical branch moved in during the bad years before everything fell apart. Chemical exposure, flash burns, pressure injuries, all that sort of thing from ships and engine rooms and munitions work. Eye trauma, mostly. Kept it small and quiet because that was the point. Out of the way, no civilians sniffing around, no press, no questions.” Another man further back muttered, “No morals, neither.”
“That too,” Eamon said without argument. "Liam there - his dad was sent there for treatment. Wasn't the same since."
You kept your fingers steady on the bottle by force. Holy shit. This was not just a rumour. This was not Eugene and a map and some old maybe. This was a place with walls and history and a man with a name who had apparently annoyed enough people to survive vividly in memory. And - he was potentially depraved from the sound of it. But depraved, you could work with - imaginary or dead was another story. Beside you, Daryl shifted his boot under the table until the side of it tapped your own once. Not enough to be obvious. Enough to say, keep your damn face still. And stay seated – don’t dance around the room like I know you want to, kinda hint.
You swallowed the excitement before it could climb into your voice and made yourself sound merely curious. “And he stayed?”
A laugh broke from one of the younger men near the dartboard, humourless and mean-edged. “Stayed? Bastard rooted himself out there like a tick.”
“The fort bastard,” somebody else said, and that got a few ugly chuckles. “Saint Hale’s devil,” another supplied. “The doctor on the Rock,” Tom added, almost apologetically, as if he knew how ridiculous they all sounded but not enough to stop saying it. “The eye man,” said the barkeep. “If you’re bein’ polite.”
“Kessler, if you’re not,” Bran grunted from somewhere behind his glass. You let yourself smile into your beer. “Sounds beloved.” That got a broader ripple of laughter than anything else so far. “Oh, dearly,” Tom said. Eamon folded his arms. “Man’s got stores enough to keep a village in antibiotics, glassware, batteries, distilled alcohol, which he sure enjoys, sealed instruments, and God knows what else, and he’d sooner throw half of it in the sea than let us get comfortable asking.”
“He trades,” Tom said.
“When it suits him,” Bran snapped.
“When he wants parts,” the barkeep said.
“When his generator starts coughing like it’s got the plague,” somebody added from the bar, and that got actual laughter, easy and immediate, as if picturing Kessler inconvenienced was one of the few pleasures all of them shared.
The barkeep leaned one hip against the counter and pointed with his chin as he spoke, warming to the subject now that the whole room had accepted it. “Place is still powered, far as anybody can tell. He keeps the outer wall patched, lanterns lit, and that old radio mast upright. Been taking bits off the same damn setup for near twenty years and somehow the thing still grinds on. Water tanks up high. Rain catch. Old stores underneath. There’s a lower-level cut into the rock, too. Used to be a storm magazine, before they turned it into whatever federal men wanted it to be next.”
“Cryo storage,” Eamon said. That turned a few heads. Tom glanced at him. “That’s just what people say-" Eamon cut him off like he'd been preparing for this. “It is what I saw,” he announced, and a murmur moved through the room. Eamon scratched once at his jaw before continuing, clearly aware he had everyone now. “Went over there years ago, before he stopped pretending to tolerate company. Helped him haul in a damaged inverter after a storm. Lower level had sealed doors, backup lines, insulated cabinets, whole place cold enough to bite straight through your coat. There were labels on things, old ones. Ophthalmics, biologics, sample storage, all that thingamajig.”
The barkeep gave a low whistle. “And you never mentioned that?”
“You never asked. ‘Sides, I’m telling the Mrs.” And a few men grumbled at that.
You lowered your bottle slowly, very carefully, because your hand had started to tighten around the neck without your permission. Cryo. Eugene hadn’t been pulling that out of nowhere either. Daryl’s shoulder touched yours then, the barest nudge, but there was feeling in it. Not comfort exactly. More like I know. He must have clocked enough in your face to know what that word had done to you, because his knee pressed against yours and stayed there, a quiet weight keeping you in the room and not halfway to the island already in your head. “So what,” you said, managing casual by the skin of your teeth, “he’s just out there in his spooky little castle doing surgery on seagulls and yelling at boats?” That got another round of rough amusement. “More or less,” said Tom “...Ain’t a castle,” Bran muttered. Then, by the dartboard, “how should she know dumbass, she can't see!” said the younger man, who then, very gingerly, turned to you. "Sorry." You waved a hand to say it's fine, then settled it on Daryl's leg. Yep - that is one tense redneck.
Eamon shook his head once. “It’s an old signal fort - stone shell from the first build, steel reinforcement from later, and too many doors for a place that small. He sealed three-quarters of it after the fall and turned the rest into a one-man kingdom. Main hall, old exam rooms, generator room, stores, rooftop watch, dock on the lee side when the tide allows it.” Then, someone added, “-and a shit ton of firepower.”
“And a ton of shit manners,” Bran added. Tom sighed. “He was a doctor, once.”
“He still is,” Eamon said. “No,” Bran cut in, with the finality of old resentment. “He’s a paranoid quartermaster with a god complex.” That stirred the room more than anything else so far. A couple of men started talking at once.
“That’s not fair.”
“It’s exactly fair.”
“He patched your hand.”
“He charged me two jerrycans and a starter motor.”
“You still got your hand.”
“I’d have preferred a discount.”
The argument swelled and bent around itself, old as habit and oddly domestic in how well practiced it was. Listening to them pick at him, you got more than facts. You got the shape of the man. Careful. Mean. Necessary. Brilliant enough for people to keep coming back. Difficult enough to make them hate themselves for it. Exactly the sort of stubborn bastard who might still be alive. You kept your spoon moving through the chowder so nobody would notice you’d forgotten to eat. “And St. Hale’s just… there?” you asked, softer now, like someone making conversation instead of taking mental inventory. “Close enough to row?” Tom nodded. “On a calm day.”
“On a lucky one,” Bran corrected.
The barkeep waved a hand. “An hour, give or take, if the channel behaves.”
“If your ferryman knows what he’s doing,” said Eamon.
“If Kessler doesn’t decide to shoot you down,” snorted the younger man, which earned him three separate shushing noises and one dark look. He'd better be joking. “Friendly, then.” You smiled faintly around your beer. “Compared to some,” Bran said. Tom rubbed the back of his neck. “He wasn’t always this bad.”
“Yes, he was,” said half the room. That won a few rough chuckles, the kind men gave when an old argument had gone around so many times the shape of it had become comforting. Even Daryl made the smallest sound into his beer, not quite a laugh but close enough to count if you were being generous. Then a younger voice from somewhere off to your right — twenties at most by the sound of him, all naive and bad ideas — said, with the reckless brightness of somebody who’d only just realised there was a game to play, “Hey - maybe Kessler could fix your eyes up.”
You turned toward him at once. “Hey,” you said, like the possibility had just now struck you too. “Maybe he could. I never even thought of that. You hear that, honey?” You turned to a very still Daryl. This shit was just too easy. That was the first thing that hit you. Not the hope, not even the adrenaline under it. Just the sheer, suspicious ease of it. You had walked into a harbour at the end of nowhere and found not only the right island, not only the right man, but a room full of people willing to tell you exactly where he was and what kind of bastard he was over chowder and beer.
Still, you sat up a little, letting just enough eagerness in to look human without looking desperate. “Hey, I mean, it’s worth a shot,” you said, one hand lifting off your bottle in a small shrug. “Maybe we could borrow a boat and—”
Something touched your hair. Not a brush of air. Not your own movement or Daryl’s. Fingers. Light, almost reverent, right at the ends where it fell over your shoulder.
For one sharp second, your body went cold with disbelief. Then it moved before thought could catch up. You caught the wrist, twisted out of your chair, and used the momentum he’d so kindly given you to haul him forward and down, hard enough that his breath burst out in a startled bark as his face hit the table. The whole move happened in one clean line — grip, turn, force — your other hand shoving his shoulder up between his blades until his arm locked wrong and his body had no option but stillness if he wanted to keep the joint where God had put it.
His chair went over behind him with a crash, and the room detonated. Wood shrieked under boots. Chairs scraped back all at once. Somebody swore loud and inventively. Glass thudded and tipped. Daryl was up so fast his bench rocked, one hand already dropping, body turned broad and dangerous before the men nearest had even finished flinching. “Jesus—”
“Whoa, hey—”
“Easy!”
“Don’t move,” you said, low and furious into the stunned mess of the man pinned under your hand. “Ever heard of personal space, asshole?” He made a strangled sound into the table, one cheek flattened against weathered wood. “I—I only—”
“You only what?”
Tom was there now, not touching, not stupid enough for that, but close enough to sound panicked. “Please,” he said quickly. “Please, easy, he meant no harm.”
“Yeah right,” Daryl snarled. You could feel the men around you hovering at the edge of action, uncertain whether to rush in or back off. Most chose back off, which was smart. Daryl was somewhere just to your left now, close enough that you could feel the heat of him, the violent attention in him, and from the silence that had opened around him, you guessed the room could read exactly what he was prepared to do if anybody put a hand where it didn’t belong again. Tom swallowed audibly. “Mickey,” he said, and there was frustration in the way he said the name, as if this was not the first time youth and stupidity had shaken hands in his bar. “You apologise to the lady now.” The man under your grip sucked in a breath that hitched when your hold tightened by half an inch. “Sorry,” he ground out. “Christ, I’m sorry.” You kept him there one beat longer than was strictly necessary, then let him go with a short shove that left him scrambling upright in a panic of boots and overturned chair legs, clutching his shoulder and looking at you like he had just discovered fire could talk.
Nobody sat back down yet. Tom dragged a hand over his beard and said, too fast, like he was trying to get ahead of the ugliness before it could fully name itself, “You’ll have to forgive him. He hasn’t seen a woman in decades… most of us haven’t.” Then, because apparently humiliation was a team sport in here, he added, awkward and earnest and somehow making everything worse rather than better, “Certainly not a fair one.” You just stared at him. For one stupid second, your mind didn’t even know where to put the sentence. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Was he trying to apologise or compliment you? Why was he explaining the hand in your hair like you were some rare bird that had flown into the wrong nest? You could feel the heat in the room, the embarrassment of it, the way several men suddenly found the floor or their boots or the view outside the door vastly more interesting than your face.
You had the shape of what was happening, sure. To you, it was a room full of isolated men acting weird and ashamed, and who had forgotten how to behave normally around a woman. But to Daryl, it was all the things they weren’t saying. The looks passing between Tom and the others. The way some of them wouldn’t meet his eyes now because they knew he’d seen too much. The way the younger ones were trying not to look hungry and failing. The way the older ones already looked halfway defensive, as if they’d skipped straight past embarrassment and landed in justification. He knew that breed of silence. Knew exactly what kind of thoughts men built inside it when they thought circumstance was a permission slip. He’d grown up around enough of it, been made out of enough of the same hard country to recognise the grain even when he hated it. As far as he was concerned, you were better off only catching half of it.
Mickey, still red-faced and clutching his shoulder where you’d nearly dislocated it, muttered, “I was only—”
“Shuddup,” Daryl snapped. The word cracked across the room all the same, sharp enough that Mickey shrank into himself. The whole Bell seemed to pull tighter around it. You looked slowly from Tom to the room beyond him, where men were now failing to look casual in a dozen different ways, some guilty, some annoyed at being caught feeling guilty, some not guilty enough by half. Daryl didn’t bother doing the same; he was looking at Tom. And Tom, to his credit or his cowardice, understood that look well enough not to fake innocence twice. Then Daryl said, flat and blunt enough to split the last of the politeness clean in two, “The hell happened to all your women?”
That landed like a bell struck in a house full of cracks. The room changed shape all over again. Whatever rough, nervous life had come back into it after the scuffle thinned out. Men looked down into their bottles. The radio carried on low and cheerful for three absurd seconds before the barkeep reached over and switched it off entirely.
Tom exhaled through his nose and glanced toward the bar, toward Bran, toward Eamon, as if quietly begging somebody else to take the first stone in hand. It was Bran who did.
He tipped his head back against the wall and said, “Storms.”
Then the barkeep snorted once, humourless. “Not just storms.”
“Didn’t say just,” Bran shot back. Eamon folded his arms. “It wasn’t one thing...”
Tom rubbed at the heel of his hand with his thumb, eyes on the table instead of on either of you. “Before,” he said slowly, “before all of it, Hook weren’t full of families year-round anyway. Men worked the harbour. Women lived inland or came and went with the season, or married out, or kept the houses back from the water where there was room enough for gardens and children and less stink in the walls.”
“Then the roads went bad,” the barkeep said. “The dead came up through the inland towns. Then everybody left standing started making ugly choices fast.”
“Harbour’s easier to hold than open houses,” Bran said. “Boats, one road in, water on three sides, bells if something got through. Men already here dug in. Brought who they could.” Eamon’s voice went flatter. “Not everybody made it.”
Tom picked it up after a moment, quieter now. “Some died in the first months. Some tried to get north with kin and never came back. Some wouldn’t stay once the harbour became what it became.”
“The hell that mean?” Daryl asked. This time it was the barkeep who answered, and the weariness in him made him sound older than he had ten minutes ago. “A place built for surviving, not living.” A man near the back gave a short laugh with no humor in it. “Should put it on the sign.”
“Shut up Johnson.” He took a drink instead. Another voice, one you hadn’t heard clearly yet, said, “There were women here after. For a bit.” The whole room seemed to lean toward that voice and away from it at once. “Marriages still. A few. Wives, daughters. Not many. Less and less as time went on. Hook got harder. Meaner. Men at sea more, sleeping in boats, trading rough, weather from hell, dead boxing us in. Then the crossings started taking people.” His voice had gone careful the way people’s voices did when they were stepping across old glass barefoot. “Channel’s never been kind,” he said. “But after the Fog Year…” He stopped there, and from the sound of the room, that phrase meant something all by itself. You turned your head slightly. “The Fog Year?”
Bran answered without looking at you. “Summer the fog sat wrong for near six weeks. Thick as fleece. Bells ringing all night. Boats missing the harbour mouth. Men hearing things out in it. Skiffs coming back light when they hadn’t gone light.”
Mickey, nursing his shoulder with wounded dignity, muttered, “Here we go.”
“Shut your mouth,” said the barkeep, without any heat to it. Eamon’s tone sharpened. “Four boats lost in that month. One overturned on black water. One stove in on the shoals. Two never found. After that, people started needing reasons.” Tom finally looked at you again, and there was shame in it now, or something close enough to pass. “Some said it was the tides. Some said rot in the boats. Some said the fog had fools hearing what they wanted to hear.” His mouth tightened. “Some said the water had turned against women. Us fishermen, we're superstitious and then some.” Daryl’s silence changed beside you. “Jesus Christ,” he said.
One of the younger men shifted. “Wasn’t like that at first,” he said, defensive on instinct.
“Wasn’t not like that either,” Bran muttered. The barkeep planted both palms on the counter. “Nobody here dragged women to the sea.”
“No,” Eamon said. “You just let grief get superstitious and called it caution.”
That won him a few dark looks and no contradiction worth hearing.
Tom spread his hands, helpless and a little angry now that the story had started and refused to stay tidy. “You want the truth? There isn’t just one. Some died. Some left. Some were sent inland because the harbour was no place to raise children anymore and no one could guarantee the road to fetch them back. Then years passed. Then more years. Men married nobody because there was nobody left to marry. Men stayed because the boats stayed. And after long enough…” He looked around the room, not needing to finish. After long enough, the place had become what it was. You heard the rest without him saying it. A bar full of men. Routines calcified into law. The kind of loneliness that became the way of life here.
You didn't know what to say. Not because the story had stunned you speechless. More because there was only so much solemnity you could reasonably be expected to sit through before it became unbearable. You took another sip of beer, swallowed, and said, “Well. That’s incredibly heartbreaking. But, I feel that if we all start unpacking all our tragic backstories, we'll be here till spring.” A few of them blinked. Maybe they expected you to exchange sob stories, give your condolences, maybe even offer a hug — not for you to essentially say ‘k whatever.’ One or two rough little laughs broke loose despite themselves, surprised and guilty, as if humour had turned up to a wake uninvited and was now standing in the doorway with its coat still on.
You shrugged one shoulder. “I’m not saying I don’t sympathise. I do. But there’s a whole sea full of nightmares out there, and if we stop for every sad story, nothing will get done. Like, say, getting my sight back.” That took the last of the polished edge off the room. The careful manners had been fraying for a while now; this snapped them the rest of the way. The Bell stopped pretending to be a normal public place with etiquette and settled into what it actually was: a room full of men who had lived too long with one another to bother dressing their thoughts up unless they absolutely had to.
Beside you, Daryl stepped up properly, bringing himself into the conversation with the same blunt inevitability he brought into everything else. “Look,” he said, voice flat and rough and done with their folklore. “We need a boat to cross that channel. Ma wife needs to see this doctor. If there’s even a shot this asshole can help her, we’re takin’ it.”
The room reacted all at once, not in one neat chorus but in overlapping disbelief.
“Both of you?”
“You want to go to St. Hale?”
“In this weather?”
“With her?”
You tipped your bottle idly in the direction of the noise. “Well, I assume Kessler isnt gonna come to us, seeing as he hasn’t left the island in forever, soo yeah.”
Tom’s mouth tightened. “You mean to cross to the island? Together?”
Were you speaking Spanish or something? You turned your face toward him. “Yeah. Sounds like a great couple’s getaway.” He glanced at Daryl, then back at you, and tried to drape concern over what was obviously alarm. “It’s only that, in your condition—”
That one made you laugh. “My condition?” You repeated back. “Which one?” That got another few quick, involuntary laughs, but Tom held his ground. “I mean no insult,” he said. “Only that the crossing’s no joke, and St. Hale’s no place to land blind.”
“Thanks for the concern,” you said, dry as the boards under your boots. “We’re still getting to that island. We’ll swim if we have to.” That stirred the room for real.
Bran set his glass down with a little clack and said, “No woman crosses that channel.”
There it was. Not draped in apology or diluted. Just put on the table like a knife. At least the superficial bullshit was over. “Oh, we're back to this now?” you said, spinning in your chair. “It ain’t ‘this,’” said somebody near the stove. “It’s sense.”
“Is it?” you asked, turning to Daryl. "Because where we come from, we call it bullshit.”
A younger man, one of the ones who’d laughed too hard at the wrong moments all evening, gave a one-shouldered shrug from somewhere near the bar. “It’s the same as throwing the first catch back into the sea so we get a fuller net.," he said, like it was common sense. "It may well be superstition to you, but we’ve been eating pretty good since it’s just been us.” That won a murmur or two. It was almost as if they didn't want to say it out loud but were glad someone did in the end.
You actually smiled because you couldn’t help it. It was so magnificently stupid. “Right,” you said. “Of course. The fish are sexist.” Daryl smiled before he could help it. A few men looked offended on behalf of the fish. Tom added, “It's not that simple.”
“Sounds pretty simple to me," Daryl said. "Buncha superstitious pricks stuck feeling sorry for themselves.” That sharpened a few faces around the room, but he didn’t care. If anything, he seemed steadier for having finally stopped pretending to be patient.
Orrin, who had stayed mostly quiet through the earlier talking, shifted where he leaned by the wall and said, “You don’t know that water.”
“No,” Daryl said. “That’s why I’m askin’ for a damn boat.”
“You askin’ for a boat,” Bran said, “and askin’ to carry her on it ain’t the same thing.”
Tom lifted both hands a little, peacemaker to the last. “Maybe he goes,” he said, nodding toward Daryl. “Maybe she stays here, and you row out at first light. Sees your doctor. Comes back with what’s to be had.” Daryl answered so fast it almost stepped on the end of the suggestion. “Nah.” Tom blinked for a few seconds, stunned. He opened his mouth again to try press further, but Daryl beat him to it. “No way,” he said, every word scraped down to the grain. “Ain’t happenin’.” You nodded. “Any other bad ideas?”
“It ain’t a bad idea,” said the younger one again. “It’s the sensible one.”
“Separating me and my husband is not a sensible idea pal,” you cut in, not stumbling over a single word. Tom tried once more. “We are only trying to protect you.”
You rolled your eyes so hard you could practically hear it. “Who are you to protect me?And from what? The channel? The island? Or all this womanly bad-luck energy I’m apparently radiating into your haddock?”
A few men grinned at that despite themselves, but the unease underneath it didn’t budge. Orrin’s voice stayed level. “We’ve seen too many good women fall to bad water.”
“Trust me buddy," you chuckled. "I’ve survived a lot worse.”
Tom looked from you to Daryl and back again, frustration tightening his voice. “We’re trying to keep your wife safe,” he said to Daryl. “Isn't that your job?”
Now, why did he have to go and say something dumb like that?
Daryl straightened from where he’d been half leaning over your chair, all of him going hard at once in that cold, dangerous way of his that gave even you the chills.
“Ma job?” he said. He took one step forward, not much, but enough to make the nearest men pull their shoulders back on instinct. “My job,” he repeated, quieter now, which was worse, “ain’t lettin’ a room full o’ strangers decide what’s best for ma wife.”
Tom opened his mouth, maybe to soothe, maybe to backtrack, but you got there first.
“Okay,” you said, because if Daryl kept going, this was going to become a very different kind of evening. “Let’s all unclench a little.” His hand found the back of your chair again, fingers tight over the wood, but he let you have the floor. “Here’s what’s gonna happen,” you enunciated, mildly surprised at how sure you sounded. “We’re getting a boat. Tonight, tomorrow, with or without your blessing, borrowed, stolen, manifested by divine intervention - I genuinely do not care which. But we’re going. Both of us.”
Tom looked at you for a long second, and when he spoke again, his tone had changed. Still soft and polite. But underneath it was something firmer. More insisting. “You’ve both been on the road too long,” he put simply. “You’re tired. Wound up. How about we leave the water where it is for one night, let everybody cool off, and talk sensible in the morning?”
“Ain’t gonna be no compromise,” Daryl said. “We don’t buy bullshit.” The room shifted at that, not rising exactly, but drawing itself inward. Men leaning in, listening harder. The barkeep set his rag down for good. Even the ones who’d looked half amused before seemed to be settling on the fact that this was no longer a conversation they could steer. Tom, maddeningly, did not rise to it. He only said, “No one’s asking you to buy anything. Only offering a bed, hot water, and a chance not to make a dangerous crossing in the dark after a long journey on the road.”
“It’s five in the afternoon,” you said.
“Close enough to evening on this coast,” Bran muttered. “And there’s weather coming.”
You tipped your head. “So your answer is what, exactly? We sit in your weird little fish monastery till sunrise and then revisit the same argument with a fresh take?”
That won a rough chuckle or two, but Tom was already pressing on. “There’s a room in the back,” he said. “Used to be for families passing through. Still keeps dry. Shower works when the boiler feels generous. You can wash up, get warm, sleep proper. Most of the lads bunk in their boats anyway.”
“Take mine,” somebody offered too quickly. Then another voice from near the wall said, “Mine’s comfier.” A third, from farther back, called, “Got a stern bunk and clean blankets if they’d rather—” Daryl’s expression at that must have been murderous, because the offers died with abrupt intelligence. You sat there in the middle of it, listening to all this chivalry-shaped nonsense pile up around you, and had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. The problem become obvious; they were not hearing no. Not because they meant immediate violence, necessarily, but because the whole room had settled around an idea and was using politeness as ballast. Feed them. House them. Delay them. Revisit in the morning. Keep the woman off the water.
And if you pushed too hard against that right now, with this many men and this much old fear in the walls, things would get uglier than either of you could afford before you’d even found out where they kept the boats.
Your eye doctor, if he really was alive and souring on his island like mouldy cheese, would almost certainly still be there tomorrow. You let your thumb drag once around the neck of your empty bottle and exhaled. “Lead the way then.” When the barkeep came around from behind the counter with a ring of keys and another man moved to show you both where the back room was, it was done with such smooth, collective certainty that refusing would have meant turning the whole bar into a standoff.
The back hall was narrow enough that two people passing would have to decide which one of them they liked less to go first. The boards underfoot had that old, hollow give to them, and every step stirred up a smell of damp plaster, dust, funny-smelling soap, and something sour long soaked into the walls and never properly cleaned. Whoever had built this place had clearly done it in sections and moods; the bar out front was all heat and wet wool and fish grease, but the hall behind it felt preserved in a different century altogether. Faded floral paper peeled from the walls in tired strips, the pattern underneath gone the colour of weak tea. A framed print of some sailboat had hung crooked for so long that the dust had outlined its better years. Brass hooks lined one wall, empty now except for a yellowing raincoat and a coil of line nobody had bothered to move. “It’s just through here,” Tom said, his voice pitched low in a way that was probably meant to be soothing and only made everything feel more staged.
Daryl stayed so close behind you, his breath fanning the back of your hair once when the hallway narrowed. You could feel all the restraint in him, the way he was allowing this only because he’d decided, for now, that this was better than chatting with the crowd of men in the Bell.
Tom opened a door at the very end of the passage and stood aside. The room beyond was small and close and so untouched by time it almost startled you. Dust and old starch and the faint, dead smell of sealed fabric sat in the air. A queen bed took up most of the space, the iron frame painted cream once upon a lifetime ago and now chipped down to the darker metal beneath. A quilt lay folded over the top, heavy and floral and old enough to have seen a war or two, and the wallpaper in here was somehow worse than the hall — tiny blue flowers repeating themselves over and over in the gloom like they’d been trapped with each other too long. There was a wardrobe in one corner, a washstand in the other, and a little wooden crucifix over the bed that made the whole thing feel faintly like it belonged in a widow’s memory more than a working harbour. The single window must have faced the water, because even shut, you could hear the slow knock of halyards and the thud of waves close by. “There you go,” Tom said.
You stood in the doorway for a second, trying to get a sense of the room. The mattress gave off that specific smell old beds had — cedar, dust, linen, old bodies long gone. Safe to say there won't be any action on that thing tonight.
You could feel Daryl clocking the corners, the window, the wardrobe, the shape of the room, not making any move to go into the room yet, attention moving ahead of the rest of him like a knife. “It’s real cute,” you said, because apparently even now your mouth had no interest in self-preservation. “Love the.. wallpaper… yknow if there is wallpaper, I wouldn’t… know exactly.” Tom let out a faint, uncertain laugh. One of the other men — because apparently this was a group task and you’d lost track of which voice belonged to who by now, only that this one was older and smelled faintly of engine oil and stale tobacco — said, “Eh. It’s dry.”
“Well,” you said, “that’s romance sorted.” Daryl stepped in then, hand brushing lightly at the back of your elbow to guide you around the bedframe, and the men followed just far enough into the doorway to make the whole thing immediately awkward. “Can we get you anything else?” Someone asked. You and Daryl in unison said, “Nope.” A beat. Tom nodded. “Right. Good.” Another fucking beat. “There’s extra blankets in the wardrobe there,” said the older one, pointing somewhere to your left. “If it gets cold.”
“And the window opens,” Tom added quickly, as if unwilling to leave. “If it gets hot.”
“Good to know,” you said. Nobody moved. The silence lengthened, odd and dense and stupid. Please lord let this day be over.
You could almost hear Daryl’s patience fraying by the thread. “Uh,” he said at last, with all the enthusiasm of a man trying not to bare his teeth, “Alrigh’see ya ‘morrow.”
That seemed to break whatever spell they’d all fallen into. Tom started like he’d forgotten doors existed. “Oh. Right, yes. Of course. We’ll—” He cleared his throat. “You just holler if you need anything.”
“Anything at all,” the other one added, a little too earnestly.
Daryl’s hand found the edge of the door. “Mm.” The men retreated at last in a clatter of manners and boots, and Daryl shut the door on the tail end of one more, “Sleep well, now,” with a firmness that bordered on violence. The latch clicked. Silence. Then both of you let out a breath at the same time. For a second, neither of you said anything. The quiet in the room wasn’t true quiet — the harbour still moved around you in layers, wood ticking, water knocking somewhere below, a far-off gull making a sound like a rusty hinge — but compared to the Bell it felt almost private. “Holy shit,” you sighed.
Daryl turned away from the door and dragged both hands down his face. “Jesus Christ.” That got a weak laugh out of you, mostly because it was easier than admitting your skin was still crawling. You moved farther in, found the bed with the backs of your knees, and sat. The mattress gave with a long, complaining sigh under your weight. Dust breathed up from somewhere deep in the blankets. Daryl stayed standing for another second, listening through the door, then finally turned and came toward you.
“What?” you asked. “Too many charming bachelors for one night?” He shot you a look you only partly caught, more shape than detail, but familiar enough to read on instinct.
“Oh cmon they’re harmless,” you said, reaching up to work your fingers into your scalp. The headache had been there in some low, ugly form since the bike, but it was climbing now, a slow band of pressure tightening behind your eyes and up through your temples. “Creepy, yes. Socially fossilised, absolutely. But not exactly organised crime.”
Daryl leaned one shoulder against the wall beside the bed instead of sitting, arms folding over his chest. “You didn’t see the way they kept lookin’ atcha.”
That made you pause with your fingers still caught in your hair. “No,” you said, quieter. “That’s sort of the problem, isn’t it?” Something shifted in his face, subtle and gone almost before it landed. Guilt, maybe. Or just anger with nowhere clean to go. “They kept starin’,” he said after a second. “Not just regular starin’. Like…” He exhaled hard through his nose, searching for something he hated having to describe. “I dunno. Like you were somethin’ that oughta be behind glass. Half o’ them looked scared to breathe on ya and the other half looked like they wanted to keep ya.” You made a face. “Oooh. Maybe you could keep me in a glass enclosure," you said, winking. "Could be fun.”
“Be serious.”
“Ugh fine.” You scrubbed both hands back through your hair and winced when the pressure behind your eyes pulsed harder for it. “I’m just saying, they’re weird. Weird isn’t the same thing as dangerous.”
He looked at you for a long moment. “Man put his hands on you.”
“It was just my hair, and he didn’t get off easy.” You lifted one shoulder. “I think the message was received.”
Daryl pushed off the wall then, restless energy forcing him into motion. He crossed the room, checked the window, glanced into the wardrobe, turned once through the tiny space like if he looked at it enough it might reveal whatever part of itself he didn’t trust. “We should make a run for it now,” he said. “Soon as it’s dark enough, we take one o their boats.” You blinked up at him. “Now?”
“Yeah, now.” You smiled despite yourself. “You just want to steal something.”
“Always wanna steal somethin’,” he muttered. “This time it’s practical.”
You laughed under your breath, but the sound died quickly because the headache did not care that he was being funny by accident. It kept tightening. Your vision, already soft at the edges in this dim room, seemed to smear further whenever you moved too fast, the faint shapes of dull colour swimming if you looked toward the window too long. Nausea stirred low and unpleasant under your ribs, not enough to send you scrambling, just enough to make your skin feel one degree wrong. You pinched the bridge of your nose and Daryl noticed immediately. “You alright?”
“Yeah.” You dropped your hand, then put it right back because pretending wasn’t helping. “Just got a headache.” His brow drew. “Still from the road?”
“Maybe.” You pressed your fingertips harder into your scalp, as if you could physically unhook the ache from behind your eyes if you found the right place. “Maybe from the fish monastery and all its winning personalities.”
He came back to stand in front of you. “You’ve looked rough since we hit the harbour.”
“Thank you, sweetie.”
“You know what I mean.” Alas, he was right. “I think I just need a shower,” you sighed. He frowned like you’d suggested setting yourself on fire. “A shower?”
“Yes, a shower. With water. Soap if god is feeling generous. I haven’t had one in over a week, I smell like roadkill, and I did in fact throw up at the side of the road earlier, so unless we’re trying to ward off any fishermen from our stench, I’d like to fix that.”
His expression did not improve. “Ain’t a good idea.” You looked up at him. “Why not?”
“Cause I don’t trust this place - they probably got a glory hole in there.” You snorted softly. "Nice.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” You planted your hands on the mattress to push yourself up, and the room lurched just enough to make you stop halfway, jaw tightening. A bright pulse went off behind your eyes, sharp enough this time to drag a breath through your teeth. Daryl was on you immediately. “Hey.” His hands came down warm and steady on your shoulders, easing you back before pride could make you pretend that hadn’t just happened. “Sit.”
“I am sitting.”
“Then stay there.” He crouched in front of you, one hand still braced at your arm while the other came up to tip your chin slightly. Not enough to cage, just enough to make sure he had all of your attention. Up close, he smelled like road grit and old leather and the beer he’d barely touched. “How bad is yer head hurtin’?” His thumb brushed once, brief and rough, against your temple. “Any worse than before?” You wanted to lie — that was always the instinct first. But his hands were on you, and the room was spinning very mildly, and somewhere under the headache was that same not-right feeling that had been dogging you since the road turned salty. “Maybe,” you admitted.
He nodded once, already standing.“Stay put. Gonna getcha water. See if they got any painkillers besides booze.” You caught his wrist before he could move off fully, fingers finding the warm bone of it by habit. “Don’t kill anyone yet.” The corner of his mouth twitched, but there was no humor in it. “No promises.”
“Daryl.”
“I said I’d getcha water.” He leaned down just enough to press a quick kiss to your lips, more instinct than tenderness, and headed for the door, already listening before he’d even reached it. At the latch, he paused, glanced back once, saw you still sitting with one hand pressed to your temple and the other fisted in the old quilt, and his face hardened in that familiar way that meant somebody else was about to have a much worse evening than you were. Then he slipped out into the hall and shut the door softly behind him.
However, he didn’t even make it halfway down the hall. The back passage of the Bell had its own way of carrying sound. The walls were too thin, the old wood too honest about what it held. Voices bled through plaster and under doors in warped little currents, some swallowed by distance, some sharpened by the narrowness of the hall until they landed clearer than they should have.
Daryl had just reached the bend where the corridor opened toward what was probably the kitchen when something in the tone of a room to his right stopped him cold.
It wasn't ordinary talk. It had that low, hard kind of conversation men had when they thought the people in question were already handled.
The door wasn’t fully shut. Just notched over, enough that a stripe of warmer light cut across the warped floorboards. He heard Tom first, voice pulled thin with strain. “…I’m telling you, keep your voice down - you can’t be saying that out loud in front of them.”
A second voice answered, older, roughened by years of salt and smoke. Bran, maybe. “Didn’t say it in front of ’em, did I?”
“No, you just waited till they were ten feet away.” Daryl went still beside the wall, every part of him quieting at once. One hand settled automatically near his knife, and he silently hoped they pushed him far enough to use it. Inside, somebody else spoke. Younger, tight with excitement that had nowhere clean to go.“I’m sayin’ look at the thing for what it is. A woman hasn’t set foot in Hook in what, a decade? More? Then she walks in out of nowhere, blind as winter and still tougher than half the room. You call that nothin’?” A mutter rolled over the others. Agreement from some. Uneasy silence from others. Tom again, lower now. “She’s not a thing.”
“No,” said another voice, too quick, already defensive. “She’s a sign.”
That one was followed by the soft scrape of a chair and the creak of floorboards under shifting weight, men moving in agitation rather than comfort. Daryl could see none of them through the sliver by the hinge, only the occasional cut of shadow across the stripe of light, but he could build a room from sound well enough. Three, maybe four round a table. More at the back. None sober enough to have the good sense this conversation deserved. “A sign of what?” Tom asked, and in his voice Daryl could hear the dangerous hope that if he kept them talking long enough, they’d hear themselves and feel stupid. “A sign that Hook ain’t dead yet,” the younger voice said. “A sign the water ain’t shut us off for good. Christ, what d’you think we’re meant to do here, then? Fish till we rot and sink? Sit in that bar till we run out of drink? We’ve got no sons. No daughters. No nothin’. Just boats and stories and old men getting older.”
“That ain’t her problem,” Tom snapped.
“It becomes her problem if she leaves.” A chair barked hard across the floor. Someone had stood up too fast. “The hell does that mean?” Tom asked.
“It means,” said a new voice, slow and deliberate in the way of a man who thought calm made him righteous, “that the world don’t hand out chances twice. We all know what this place is. We all know what it ain’t. Then she shows. Not dead. Not lost. Walks through our front door like she was sent here.”
“Sent by who?” Tom said. “The Lord Himslef? Or your own loneliness?”
“The same thing, some days,” the older man answered, and got a couple of grim noises of approval for it. Daryl’s jaw set so hard it hurt.
Another voice cut in, one he recognised vaguely as the barkeep’s, though stripped now of the dry humour he’d been wearing out front. “No one’s sayin’ chain her to a bed.”
“Funny,” Bran muttered. “Could’ve fooled me.” The barkeep went on over him, impatient. “I’m sayin’ think. Use the heads God forgot to make decorative. She’s with him, yeah. Fine. Then you keep him calm, keep her here, and work somethin’ sensible.”
Tom gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “Keep her here.”
“She ain’t gonna stay if you ask,” said the younger one. “Then don’t ask,” finished the barkeep. Daryl’s fingers tightened around the handle of his knife before he could stop them, every muscle in him begging to burst through the door and let the room sort itself out around the consequences.
Then Eamon — thank Christ for one bastard in the building with a working brain — said sharply, “You’re all out of your fuckin’ minds.”
A few men talked at once after that, words tangling. Daryl caught pieces.
“…just for the night—”
“…she’s already here—”
“…we haven’t had—”
“…the wife of a stranger, have you all gone feral—”
Tom was back in it now, voice climbing despite himself. “This is exactly why I said put them in the back and leave them be.”
“And then what?” somebody shot back. “Tomorrow she gets on a boat and goes out to St. Hale, and we what? Wave? Wish her tight lines?”
“Yes,” Tom said. “That is how people leaving generally works.”
A dull thump landed against the table. A fist, probably.
“She could be exactly what this place needs,” said the same older, measured voice from before. “Maybe she can be the one to sort out that Kessler once and for all. That bastard isn't any good for Hook - but she could be.” The silence after that was ugly, and Daryl felt it all the way in his teeth. Inside, someone exhaled hard enough to whistle. Someone else swore under his breath, quick and prayerful. Tom sounded sick. “Don’t.”
“Why not say it plain?” the older man pushed. “What are we guarding this harbour for, if not the chance of somethin’ after us? We got boats. Stores. Work. Roof. Men enough still breathing to build somethin’ if there were somethin’ to build toward.”
“A person is not livestock,” Eamon said. “No one said she was.” Barkeep.
“You didn’t have to!”
The younger one again, all bright certainty and no shame now that he’d found others to hide inside: “Maybe she don’t even have to be kept. Maybe she will see what Hook is, what it could be. Maybe the husband gets sent on. Maybe he stays too. We don’t know what’s possible if you lot keep panickin’ at the first mention of it.”
Tom said, each word scraped raw, “He is not gettin’ sent anywhere without her.” Damn straight, Daryl thought. “And she’s not leaving without seeing Kessler for 'erself,” someone replied. Bran made a low sound in his throat. “You boys keep talkin’ like she ain’t the one put Mickey through a table.” A few nervous laughs flickered and died.
“That only proves she’s got fight,” said the older voice. “Better than half the daughters we’d have raised here.”
Another man spoke from farther back, one Daryl hadn’t heard clearly before. The voice was old enough to shake at the edges, but the conviction in it was iron. “Call me selfish. I am. We all are. We’ve outlived the world and for what? To drink ourselves hollow and ring the bell till our hands quit? She comes here now, after all this time, and you want me to believe it means nothin’? That she’s just passing through? There’s no such thing as passing through Widow’s Hook anymore.” That seemed to have got them — not all but enough. The murmurs that followed weren’t uniform. That was the worst part. Not one plan, not one evil little scheme he could cut cleanly in half, but a room full of loneliness and fear and superstition all trying to dress themselves up as destiny.
Some wanted to delay. Some wanted to persuade. Some wanted Daryl sent across to St. Hale alone while she “rested.” Some wanted the boat hidden. Some wanted the channel blamed. One of them — the younger one again — laughed under his breath and said, “Woman hasn’t been sweet in this harbour in over a decade and you lot wanna hand her back to the road.”
That was enough. Daryl moved before he was fully conscious of deciding to. He stepped away from the wall as silently as he’d come to it, the knife still warm in his grip, and forced his hand open by inches until his fingers obeyed him again. If he went through that door now, he would kill somebody. Maybe not all of them, a handful. And then he and you would be fighting your way out through a bar full of men who cursed bananas or whatever the superstition was. Nope. Go time, though. Absolutely.
He turned on his heel and headed back down the hall in three soundless strides, every part of him sharpened to one simple fact: you were not staying another minute longer than it took to get you on your feet.
He slipped back inside and was met with the dim little shape of you on the bed with one hand still pressed to your temple, just as he left you— and for one insane second, the normality of it made what he’d just heard feel even filthier. You looked up at the sound of the latch. “That was fast. Did they have aspirin?” He crossed to you so quickly the mattress dipped before you’d finished talking. “Get up,” he said. “We’re leavin’.”
Something in his voice made you straighten at once. “Daryl?”
There was no softness. No room left in the sentence for argument. The headache still sat behind your eyes like a hot nail, the room soft and swimmy at the edges, but the tone in him burned right through it. You pushed yourself upright, hand finding the bedspread to steady against the brief tilt of the room. “What happened?”
He crouched in front of you, hands already at your elbows, grounding and urgent all at once. His face was a blur in the dim, but you didn’t need detail to know what was written there. Fury. Fear. Restraint by a thread. The kind of restraint that only ever meant he’d seen or heard something bad enough to make immediate movement smarter than explanation
“They're plannin' something,” he said, low and hard. “Overheard 'em back there talkin’.”
Your stomach dropped clean through the floor. “How bad?” His jaw flexed. “Bad.” That was answer enough for the moment. You took one breath, then another, letting the fear burn off into something more useful. “Okay.” He blinked, almost like he’d expected more fight from you. Not that he didn't appreciate you being compliant for once, but it was a rarity. You swung your legs off the bed and stood, head pounding, pulse already up. “You did say get up, not write an essay. Do we have a plan, or are we improvising again?” Somewhere under the rage, the corner of his mouth twitched. “Steal a boat,” he said. You nodded once. "Definitely didn't see that coming." It was bound to happen. Daryl crossed the room in two strides and put his hand on the knob first, testing it, listening, then turned the little old lock with a soft click that sounded much louder than it ought to have. If anyone tried the door, they’d lose a few seconds to confusion, and right now a few seconds was the difference between sneaking out cleverly and fighting your way through Widow’s Hook like idiots. He went to the window next. The frame complained when he eased it up, paint sticking, old wood swelling with damp, but it gave in the end with a breath of colder air off the harbour. The smell hit at once: salt, diesel, wet rope, fish gone sweet at the edges, the mineral stink of tidal mud. Outside, the world had tipped into that in-between hour where dark had not fully arrived but was leaning over the rail and thinking about it.
Daryl looked back at you; “C’mere,” he said, and you were there in a heartbeat, one hand braced against the wall while the room gave a slow little tilt under your feet. He caught you at the waist, steady and quick, and boosted you up onto the sill with the same unceremonious efficiency he used for loading sacks of feed or highly troublesome wives. The headache pulsed harder when you ducked your head to climb through, but the cold air outside slapped some sense back into you. “Watch your foot,” he murmured. “Drop’s a little farther than it sounds.”
“Encouraging.”
“Just go.” You eased yourself out, found the outside wall with one palm, then the packed ground with your boots, damp gravel shifting under your soles. A second later Daryl came through after you in one compact movement, dragging the window mostly shut behind him. He caught your hand at once and tugged you after him. You moved along the back of the Bell with the building on your left and the harbour breathing cold and wide to your right. Widow Light turned slow out on its tower, the beam sweeping the harbour in pale intervals, washing over masts and hulls and slick boards in a cold white blade. Daryl stopped dead and pulled you with him into the lee of a stack of crab pots until it passed. You held your breath, cheek near his shoulder, hearing the sea knock softly under the dock planks and the lazy chime of a fog bell swaying with the waves. When the light moved on, he tugged you forward again. “Boat’s close,” he breathed, fingers tightened around yours, which in Daryl language was probably either affection or don’t you dare say something clever and equally stupid.
The dock itself was a jigsaw of old boards, gaps, coils of line, and things designed to trip you up if the wind didn't manage to push you off the side first. You could feel the openness of it immediately, the wrongness of all that empty moving darkness spread out on either side. No walls. No fence. No sense of where the ground ended except the slap of waves and the thin groan of boats shifting against their moorings. Your skin pebbled under your jacket. Widow Light turned again, and Daryl pulled you down beside a stack of bait crates this time until the beam slid over and away. When he moved next, it was slower, more careful. You could feel his attention sharpening ahead of him, focused somewhere past your shoulder. Then he stopped altogether. What you caught was the pipe first. Not visually, of course. The scent: strong, tarry tobacco, thick enough to sit in the damp like its own weather. Another fisherman somewhere close, probably older too, because who on earth still smoked a pipe? The man was smoking like he meant to survive on it alone. Daryl’s mouth touched your ear for half a second. “Stay.” Then his hand slipped from yours.
Every part of you went alert. You heard him go, not because he was loud but because you knew the grammar of his body by now, the careful distribution of weight, the silence with purpose in it. One soft board. Another. The old sailor gave no sign he’d noticed. You could hear the wet pull of his pipe, the little exhale after. Then a scuffle so brief it barely counted as one. A grunt cut off at the root. A body shifted hard against wood. And then the splash. No production of it, just the blunt, ugly sound of a person made suddenly into harbour matter. Though the sound effects weren’t exactly ambiguous. He startled you when he spawned at your side again. “C’mon.”
The boat he’d chosen rode lower than the others, a narrow rowboat tucked half behind a broader trawler, bumping softly against rubber fenders. Daryl stepped in first, the hull rocking under his weight, then reached up for you. “Gimme yer hand,” he whispered, and you found his wrist, then palm, rough and cold, and let him guide your boot to the edge. “Watch the gap,” he whispered again. “Big step down.”
“Everything about today has felt like a big step down.” He made a sound under his breath that might have been a laugh if there’d been any room for one. Then he steadied you as you climbed in, one hand at your elbow, one braced at your waist while the boat shifted treacherously underfoot. You dropped lower than you meant to and thumped onto the bench with all the grace of a sack of onions. "Ugh i wasn't built for this," you grumbled. He shushed you, reaching for the bowline only for you to slap his hand away. “Oh, absolutely not,” you hissed. “You're shit at knots.”
He paused, gravely insulted. “Am not.”
“You tied the prison gates in a granny knot the whole time we were there.”
“That was one time.”
“It was one season.” Your fingers found the wet rope and went to work by feel, quick and sure despite the cold making them clumsy at the tips. “Move over.” He shook his head — you heard it in the little exhale through his nose — but let you. The knot came loose under your hands with a gratifying little give, and you shoved the line free. “There,” you said. “Competence.” Daryl shoved off with the oar, and the boat drifted a foot, then another, before he got both oars set and started rowing in earnest. Daryl grunted with the effort, settling into a rhythm, and you could tell you were moving at a good pace, but you hated it immediately. Cold wind came at once, harsher out from the protection of the docks, scraping tears from the corners of your eyes and needling under your collar. The water sounded different away from the pilings — less slap, more spread, busy and vast. Each pull of the oars announced itself through the boat in a series of small jolts and sways, the hull answering the waves with a queasy rise and fall that made your stomach tighten in warning.
The harbour noises were receding behind you, replaced by open water and wind and the wet creak of wood under strain. St. Hale was somewhere ahead — still only a shape in the dark for him, a notion for you — but the channel between felt endless already. You hunched your shoulders against the cold and said, “Is this a bad time to mention I really don’t appreciate big open bodies of water?”
“What?” Daryl barked back, not hearing over the wind and ragged breath. You raised your voice. “I said I hate this.”
He rowed another pull. “Coulda mentioned that before we stole a boat.”
“Well, I’m mentioning it now - it's more dramatic.” The boat lurched sideways over a chop, and your hand shot for the bench edge. The motion sent a fresh pulse through your head, light smearing weirdly at the edges of your vision where the lighthouse beam occasionally touched the water and broke it into pale, shivering ribbons. You swallowed hard and tried again, louder.
“Ever since I fell into that frozen lake trying to save your stupid ass from freezing to death last winter, I haven't been too crazy about open water.” That got his attention enough for him to angle his head toward you without fully breaking rhythm. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Your laugh came out thinner than you meant. “It was horrible. You know what being underwater is like when you can’t orient for shit? It’s just cold. That’s it. Cold and pressure and no up or down and no idea where your own body ends. It—” You broke off, hugging yourself tighter against the memory as much as the wind. "It sucks." He was quiet for a few strokes. Then, between breaths, he said, “Yeah. Course I knew.”
You turned your head toward him. The question rose automatically — how? — and died before it made it to your mouth. Of course he knew. He knew when your smile was one degree too bright. He knew the sound your boots made when you were tired versus pissed off. He knew how your hand searched for him in your sleep. He knew the shape of your fear because he'd spent years learning what it looked like before you ever named it. The answer was embarrassingly obvious. Still, because you were you, you muttered, “What, because I’m an open book?”
“To me — yeah,” he shot back. “'Sides — we got a boat fer that reason. Ain’t here for swimmin’.” You smiled despite yourself, cold and queasy and miserable as you were.
Suddenly the harbour changed pitch. What reached you from the harbor then was not the old, low murmur of men at drink, not the softened clink of glass and talk made harmless by walls and distance, but something sharper and more immediate, a single shout cutting clean across the wind, followed by another, and then the answering lift of voices all at once as the news spread from one mouth to the next faster than sense could catch it. You turned too quickly, the motion sending a spike of pain straight through your skull, and had to squint against the smear of lantern-light and water and dark, but even through the pulse behind your eyes you could make out the shape of panic taking hold behind you: men spilling onto the dock, lights jerking in nervous hands, bodies crossing and recrossing one another in confusion before the confusion hardened into purpose.
Then came a sound that separated itself from the rest and lodged in your ribs — one voice rising high with that thin, shocked edge people got when they found not a man where they had expected one to be, but what had been done to him. “Well,” you called over the tide, because apparently your mouth intended to keep being itself right up until death, “I think the living-breathing chimney may be sorely missed.”
Daryl threw one glance over his shoulder and drove the oars harder. “Shit.”
The harbour answered him by erupting properly. You heard your theft in the shape of it before you caught any one word whole: boat, channel, shit, the Rock, what the fuck, stop them, fucking shit, get Orrin, Jesus Christ, and under all of it the sound of too many boots hammering the dock in the same direction. Daryl swore again, lower this time. “What?” you snapped. “Bigger boat,” he said. “S'got an engine.” Great.
Behind you, men shouted over one another, the planks rang beneath running feet, and then through the confusion broke the ugly metallic cough of an engine being forced awake after sitting too long in damp salt air. It choked once, then again, and for one small impossible second, you hoped that would be the end of it, that it would die there in a cloud of curses and old fuel and leave you the dark to hide in. Instead it caught with a roar that rolled over the water like something physical, something with teeth, the kind of sound that did not merely announce pursuit but promised it. “Daryl—”
“I know.” The rowboat lurched hard under another chop and he answered it with raw effort, hauling at the oars until the locks complained and the whole small craft shuddered around the labour of him. You could hear what it was costing him now in every breath he dragged in, every grunt forced out through clenched teeth, the ugly strain of a man trying to wring flight out of something that wasn't built for speed.
Behind you, the engine note deepened and steadied. Not close yet, but it wasn’t exactly staying where it was. “They’re gainin' on us,” he bit out, and there was no room in his voice for comfort. “Then row faster,” you shouted back.
“The hell ya think im doin'!?" You twisted toward the humming engine from behind you, pulse suddenly everywhere at once, in your throat, your wrists, behind your eyes, under your tongue. The chase boat was still mostly a thing made of sound to you, but it felt monstrous anyway, bigger than it probably was, because the water under your own hull had abruptly become too small, too thin, too useless at keeping you alive if anything went wrong. Each swell lifted you and dropped you again with a queasy slap, and the engine behind you rose and fell with the chop, louder each time it climbed, meaner each time it came down. Daryl spat a curse into the wind. “Take the gun.”
For half a breath, you thought you had misheard him. “What!?”
“The gun,” he snapped, not looking at you, all of him bent into the next pull. “Take it from me. If they get close, ya shoot em.”
You stared at the dark shape of him, at the broad back and flexing shoulders and the wet gleam of effort where the lighthouse beam had just kissed him and gone. “I’m not exactly a good shot!”
“Do it anyway!”
“Daryl—”
“Do it!” That shut the argument down, not just because he was louder, but because there was something under the order that only ever came out when things were bad enough to strip everything else away: urgency, yes, but also trust so delusional it sounded almost genuine. He wasn’t asking because you were the best option - he was asking because you were the only one you had, and because somewhere beneath the panic and the pain and the freezing black water, he believed you would hit something.
You lunged forward as the boat pitched, one hand catching at his thigh to keep from going face-first into his lap, which would be a wet dream in any other circumstance. Your other hand scrambled across his belt in a blind, frantic search through leather and gear where you knew he kept his gun. Buckle. Knife sheath. Spare cartridges. The rough edge of his jacket. Something in his centre pocket. His hip jerked under your palm with each brutal pull of the oars. “Hurry the hell up,” he panted. "Ain't the time-"
“I’m trying, you twitchy bastard—”
Your fingers finally closed around the grip, yanking the gun free and nearly losing it when the hull rolled under you, the cold metal slick in your hand, your own breath coming too fast and too shallow. Behind you, the engine swelled again, closer now, ugly and insistent, and over the top of it came the men’s voices, ragged with adrenaline, shouting to one another more than to you, the sound of men who still believed they could reach out and grab back what had slipped from their hands. Daryl risked another glance over his shoulder, and whatever he saw made his next words come sharp enough to cut. “They’re gainin’. What’re you doin’?”
“Focusing!”
“Hurry up and focus faster!”
You turned in the seat as far as you dared, gun lifted in both hands, and forced yourself to stop trying to see the way sighted people meant seeing. The dark was no use to you like that, only smears and broken light and occasional flashes where Widow Light swept over the channel and made wet things momentarily shine. So you let that go. Let the useless, panicked part of your mind run itself ragged somewhere else — and you listened. The engine sat to your left rear, lower in tone than you would’ve liked, heavy and regular beneath the chop. Men were shifting their weight unevenly aboard it, one side carrying more load than the other. The hull slapped harder through the waves than your own, wider and faster and far too confident. The waterline along one side sounded louder where it cut in. There were three voices clearly, maybe four if the wind wasn’t lying to you, and the angle of the sound told you they were not merely following but trying to come up and across, to cut your path and take you broadside. There — not a picture exactly. More a map assembled out of vibration and the desperate precision that came when you had no time left to doubt yourself. “Now," Daryl barked.
You fired—the recoil kicking ugly through your wrists. The first shot vanished into dark and open water, useless as a prayer shouted into weather. The second struck wood with a flat, meaty thunk that came back to you over the engine roar, and the men behind it exploded into swearing. You adjusted, not by sight but by the way the engine’s growl bounced differently off water than hull; by the way the shouts shifted when somebody leaned or ducked, by instinct honed mean and strange through months of learning how to build a world from sound when sight refused to be trusted.
You fired again, and this time the impact came lower, followed by the wet slap and sucking rush of water suddenly entering a place it wasn't supposed to be. Another shot, another scream — this one ripped ragged and immediate — and the shouting changed pitch at once, rage turning to pain and then to that more dangerous thing; panic with nowhere to go. You took the next one almost on guess and nerve alone, aiming for where the motor’s throat seemed to sit in the dark, and when the round hit metal, the engine changed its voice so abruptly it was like hearing an animal choke. The smooth hard churn broke into an uneven sputter, caught, recovered, then stumbled again, labouring now under damage it didn't understand. “Oh, thank God,” you breathed.
Behind you, the rhythm of pursuit faltered. At first it was almost too slight to trust, just a hesitation in the noise, a fraction less speed under the engine’s note, but then came the rest of it in a rush: men shouting over one another in confusion instead of triumph, a clatter somewhere aboard, somebody cursing about water, somebody else yelling to kill the motor, no wait, don’t kill it, are you out of your mind, and beneath all of that the sickly, sputtering labour of machinery trying to outrun a bullet wound.
You turned toward Daryl with adrenaline fizzing ugly and bright through your veins. “Tell me that did something.” He looked back once, then again, chest heaving, arms still pulling hard at the oars despite what sounded like pure acid in his muscles, and let out a rough breath that might have been the nearest thing he had to amazement. “Yeah,” he said. “You definitely slowed ’em down.” Which, from Daryl, was practically a love poem recited at gunpoint.
The engine coughed again, men now shouting in earnest, one voice high and broken with real fear as the sea started climbing into a boat that had not been built to welcome holes in its belly, and ahead of you, somewhere beyond the black chop and the killing cold and the hard salt wind was St. Hale — one bitter old doctor on his rock — and even though Widow’s Hook had gone tits up for you, the dark in front of you felt almost merciful compared to the one you had left behind.
After a while, the panic behind you thinned into distance. The wind carried the faintest ragged scrap of shouting over the black water — but far enough now that the rowboat settled into a different rhythm. Not quite safety, but endurance. The kind that left room for cold to become noticeable again, for your wet eyes to sting from the frigid wind, for your hands to start aching where you’d gripped the gun too hard, and for the sea to resume being what it had always been all along: vast, indifferent, and deeply committed to making you feel small.
The dark had finished swallowing the horizon by now. Whatever light remained was thin and unreliable, a smudge here, a glimmer there when Widow Light made its slow pass somewhere behind you or some far-off lantern on the water trembled and vanished again. Mostly, there was nothing to see but gradients of black and the occasional white edge where a wave broke wrong. The wind had gotten meaner too, needling through seams, flattening your clothes to your skin one moment and trying to peel them off you the next, and worst of all, it kept shredding sound just enough to make the world feel farther away than it was. You hated that. You hated the way the sea took your hearing and stretched it, made everything harder to place. You hated the blind, open space of it, the depth you couldn't comprehend and didn't want to. You hated the little lurch of the boat under you every time a wave shouldered against the hull like the water was testing how serious you were about all this. So, naturally, you started talking.
“You know,” you said, drawing your knees up a little closer against the cold, “this would be a lot more romantic if one of us wasn’t actively committing maritime crimes.”
Daryl pulled through another stroke, shoulders working under his jacket. “You're an accomplice. And m'pretty sure the crime part’s what makes it romantic for you.”
“That’s true. You know me so well,” You smiled into the dark, and he just grunted back.
The oars creaked in their locks, the little boat rising and dipping in a rhythm your body had not consented to but was being forced to learn anyway. Daryl had settled into the labour of it with that particular stubbornness of his, all economy and strength and bad temper, and though you would never say this in a court of law, there was something annoyingly attractive about him hauling you both through black water like he’d personally taken offence to the Atlantic. You tilted your head and said, “You look hot doing that.”
“What? Ye can’t even see me.”
“Ok well I’m imagining it. All the rowing — very masculine. Very rugged. Very ‘I can totally get us killed before dawn but at least I’ll look sexy doing it.’”
“Shuddup. Keep yer imagination to yourself.”
“That was not a denial,” you sing-songed. God, he is so full of himself. “Tryna keep us movin’,” he chided, dragging the oars through another hard pull. “You wanna swap or sumthin’?” You heard in the breath he let out more than saw it — the corner of his mouth twitching when you quickly replied with 'nope, I’m all good, sailor.' Which was good, because the sound of him almost-laughing did more for your nerves than you wanted to admit. You hunched deeper into yourself against a vicious gust and said, “are we nearly there yet?.”
“Oh don’t start this shit.”
“What shit? Asking for a perimeter update?.”
“You always askin when we’re there! We’ll get there when we get there, alrigh’?”
“Daryl — that doesn’t make any sense!”
“Nah, what doesn’t make sense is why ya keep asking that same damn question every time we’re goin’ somewhere — when you know it pisses me off!”
“It’s not like I can make a keen observation! Oh hey, there’s a sign that says we’re 5 miles from st Hale, which I can’t see!” Silence. Whistling wind and crashing waves. He let that sit for a few seconds, then finally sighed, “We’re almost halfway."
You smiled and tucked your hands under your arms. The cold was finding its way through anyway, creeping into your fingers, your knees, the back of your neck, but the talking, hell, even yelling helped. It put edges back on the dark. Made the hour feel less like being swallowed and more like enduring something together, which was a very different thing. After a few minutes, you said, “Do you think maybe this is why women didn’t work boats.” Daryl gave you a look over his shoulder. Or you assumed he did — it’s just what you imagined he would do. “What?” He yelled over the growing wind.
“I’m serious,” you said. “Maybe they just didn’t have marriages like ours, babe. Maybe all they needed to survive one terrible little sea crossing was to have the kind of relationship where you can both be in mortal peril and still be having the same argument you started on land." He chuckled before he could stop it. “…think yer onto somethin' there.” "I mean, you need to really, really love somebody if you’re gonna sit in the dark with them while getting slapped in the face by salt."
"Must really love me then," he sighed, but there was no heat in it, just that tired, unwilling amusement he got when you’d annoyed him into a better mood against his will. “You’re cold,” he said after a moment, and you, ofcourse, responded with the usual bullshit. “Im fine,” you insisted.
“You’re shiverin’.”
“What d-do you know,” you managed, teeth chattering pathetically. He made a low, unimpressed sound and then, after one more pull, wedged the oars awkwardly enough to buy himself three seconds and shrugged out of one side of his jacket. You stared at the rustle of movement. “What are you doing?”
“Put this on.”
“No, then you’ll be cold. That's stupid”
He twisted enough to shove the jacket at you anyway. “Take it.”
“You need it.”
“I’m rowin’.”
“That is not how thermodynamics work.”
“Put the damn jacket on, woman.” You took it because truth was your teeth had started thinking about chipping, and you wanted to head that humiliation off at the pass. The jacket was damp with salt and warm where his body had held it, smelling like him, which turned out to be embarrassingly comforting when draped around your shoulders. You pulled it close and said, very dignified, “Thank you,” and he hummed in response. “You know,” you went on, because peace was never your strongest instinct, “if you keep taking care of me like this, people are gonna think ya like me.” This time the laugh came out of him rough and tired and impossible to mistake. “Gross."
You smiled into the collar of his jacket and let the sea slap uselessly at the boat for a little while. You smiled into the collar of his jacket and let the sea slap uselessly at the boat for a little while. The silence after that was easier — the kind built from years of sharing danger and meals and cramped beds and all the tiny nonsense in between. The oars dipped and rose; the hull rocked; the wind kept trying to get a rise out of you and mostly failed. Then, because the dark was still the dark and your brain hated being left alone in it too long, you said, “Hypothetically, if I fell overboard, and water was infested with sharks, would you come in after me or would you just yell what to do?”
“Actually saw a fin earlier but I wasn’t gonna say nothin’.”
“That’s not funny. Answer the question.”
“Wouldn’t let you fall overboard.”
“That was not the question.”
“Good. Question was dumb.”
“It’s a hypothetical!” you groaned. He sighed like you were a burden laid on him by God personally. “Duh. Course I’d come getcha.”
“Ha knew you would. You looove me.” A beat passed. Then: “...Wait would you really?”
He frowned. “What?”
“Come and get me.”
“Just said I would.”
“No, I know. I’m just enjoying hearing it-”
“Good lord would you just-”
“I’m scared alright,” you admitted,cutting him off so quickly and lightly it almost passed for a joke. “So I’m being annoying on purpose. If that wasn’t already obvious.” The next pull of the oars slowed just a little. Not enough to stop. Enough to tell you he’d heard the truth under it. “Yeah,” he said after a second. “I know.” You stared out into the dark that wasn’t really visible at all, just felt — wind and salt and too much nothing — and exhaled. “Sorry.” Why you were sorry you didn't know; you just were.
“Hey.” The word came low and brief. You turned toward him. He didn’t stop rowing, didn’t make a whole thing of it, didn’t ask you to confess to anything larger than you’d already handed him. He just said, with that maddening plainness of his, “it’s gonna work out.” And because it was Daryl, because he said things like that only when he meant them down to the bone, the fear eased down, no longer owning the whole boat. You pulled his jacket tighter around yourself and said, “Well. That’s good, because I have plans.” He snorted. “Yeah?”
“First, we find this Kessler dude, survive whatever fresh hell this island’s got waiting for us. Get me some working ogles, then go home.” You tilted your head, thinking. “Then maybe we never do water again unless it’s in a bath. With at least some groping.” He rowed on, shoulders flexing, face turned half away into the wind, and said, “Deal.”
The dark ahead had been one thing for so long — just more dark, more sea, more wind, more of that endless black shifting around the little stolen boat — that when St. Hale finally began to separate itself from it, the change was almost worse than if it had stayed invisible. You knew he saw it because something in him changed, some minute adjustment in the way he held himself over the oars, the way his attention narrowed and fixed. He pulled through two more strokes before saying, “Almost there.”
You turned your face toward the sound of him. “Almost there,” you repeated, deeply suspicious. “What does that mean?”
His breath rasped once through his nose. “It means we’re almost there — can see it.”
“That was not an answer.”
He rowed on, and when he spoke again his voice had gone flatter with concentration. “Maybe half a mile — give or take.”
You stared into the black nothing in front of you as if the island might have the decency to introduce itself properly. “So like a kilometre,” you said. “That is not almost there when one is surrounded by a vast, terrifying, ocean.”
The boat rose and dropped again. Cold spray hit your cheek. The wind knifed through the seams of Daryl’s jacket around your shoulders and stole half the air out of your mouth. You hugged yourself tighter, closed your eyes for a second and tried, very deliberately, to think of things that were not the black Atlantic under your ass. “Okay,” you muttered into the wind, more to yourself than to him. “Happy thoughts. I’m doing happy thoughts.” Daryl dragged the oars through another pull. “Uh-huh.”
“Our bed in Alexandria,” you said, as if reciting from scripture. “An actual bed – not the floor. With sheets that smell like home and not… whatever this is.”
“Try ‘the sea’,” he said. “Death,” you corrected. “A cold death. Anyway. My bed. Warm. Safe. Dry. Dog cuddles, Dog kisses, running with Dog, God I miss Dog. He's way better company.” That got the smallest breath of amusement out of him. You kept going because the alternative was thinking about the dark swallowing you whole. “Peanut butter, cereal, chocolate pudding, just food in general,” you said. “Coffee in the morning. Coffee in the afternoon. Coffee when Eugene starts talking. Hot baths. Fluffy socks. Afternoon sun and siestas. Dog again because he’s a big one. Carol pretending she doesn’t feed Dog scraps under the table.”
“Thought these were your happy thoughts, not just Dog.”
“He is one of my happy thoughts. Don’t be jealous – now shush, I’m trying to meditate.”
He snorted and you pulled his jacket tighter around yourself, closed your eyes again, and continued with great determination. “Okay. More. Hot showers. My books. Not dying. Sex with Daryl.”
There was a pause. Then, from somewhere behind the labor of rowing: “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Didn’t think I heard right.”
“Morning sex with Daryl,” you went on, eyes squeezing shut when the boat lurched up then forward over a big wave. “Late-night sex with Daryl. Midday sex with Daryl. Rainy day sex with Daryl. Make-up sex with Daryl. Very important category. Ok honestly, sex with you is carrying a lot of this list — what does that say about me?”
He couldn't help but laugh, and it almost broke his rhythm. “You’re a pervert.”
“I’m coping.”
“With sex.”
“With amazing sex,” you said. “Details matter.”
He shook his head, shoulders flexing under another pull. “Jesus.”
“I’m serious. It’s one of my favourite things.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“Do you want to help?” you asked sweetly. “You can add your own happy thoughts.”
He rowed in silence for a beat too long, which meant he was considering it despite himself. Then, dry as driftwood, he muttered, “peace and quiet.”
You gasped. “That is so rude.”
“That’s my happy thought right now.” You ignored that with dignity. “Fine. I’ll do yours. Crossbow maintenance. Booding silence. Jerky. Me naked.” That one made him huff.
“Motorcycle parts,” you continued. “Me more naked. Cigarettes. Me in that one shirt you like.” He gave you a sharp look over his shoulder. “Ain’t a shirt.”
“It is technically a shirt.”
“It’s gettin' torched when we get back home.”
“Yet another item on the list of things that make you happy.” You smiled to yourself, leaned your head back, and kept reciting into the dark like a lunatic. “Warm baths. Clean blankets. Dry land. Not being chased by weird fishermen. Not being on the ocean. Me and you old and cranky — if we make it back from here — and still having inappropriate kitchen sex.” Daryl nearly lost the rhythm of the oars on that one. “Can you shut up for like five damn minutes?”
“No, because then I’d have to think about where we are.” It was then a gust of wind hit broadside, hard and vicious, spraying your face with salt and rocking the boat enough to make your stomach turn over. You stopped dead, the list derailing in your head all at once. Warm baths. Warm water. Cold water. Open water. Dark, open cold water. FUCK.“Ah,” you said faintly. “No, see, that one was a trap.” Daryl glanced back. “What?”
“I accidentally thought about water.”
“We are in water.”
“Yes, and I would really appreciate if I could stopped being reminded about that.” You shut your eyes hard for a second and opened them again to the same useless dark. “Please tell me we’re talking twenty minutes, tops, because I am beginning to lose my fucking mind a little.”
Daryl pulled another stroke, harder this time because the nearer they got the nastier the water seemed to become, the current tugging wrong under the hull. “Less than that.”
“That didn’t sound confident.” He grunted, "it wasn't."
“Great. Super. Love that.” You swallowed against the sour twist rising in your stomach. “I think I’m either going to panic or throw up. Possibly both if I really apply myself.”
“What is it with you an’ throwin’ up recently.” That should not have been as funny as it was, and yet a weak laugh escaped you anyway, ripped to shreds by the wind the second it left your mouth. But then the night cracked open.
The shot came so suddenly your brain didn't understand it at first as a shot at all, only a violent split in the air and a hard slap somewhere off the side of the boat, followed by Daryl dropping flat with a curse so immediate and furious it dragged meaning into the sound a fraction of a second later. “Down!”
You obeyed before your mind caught up, folding hard over yourself as another shot cracked over the water. Something hit close enough to spit cold spray across your face. “What the fuck—”
“Island,” Daryl snapped. “Somebody’s shootin’!”
As if to prove the point, another round tore past with that hideous insect-fast sound bullets had when they passed too near human flesh to be mistaken for anything else. The water all around you was suddenly alive with impacts — sharp smacks, little explosive spits where lead struck black surface and ricocheted or died in it. The sea, which had been horrible enough a second ago, now seemed intent on throwing the bullets back up at you in shattered spray. You ducked lower, breath locked in your throat. “Are you hit?” you shouted. “No— you?”
“No!” Another shot. Then another — this one punching through wood. The sound of it was sickeningly intimate, not the wide slap of water but the hard splintering bite of your little boat being made less of a boat in real time. A thin, awful gurgle followed from somewhere near your boots. Daryl risked lifting his head just enough to look and immediately dropped again as another round tore over you both. “He’s hittin’ the hull.”
Water was already seeping in. At first it was only cold around the soles of your boots, then colder, then moving, sloshing in nervous little washes with every pitch of the boat. The hull rocked again, lower this time, and fresh panic ripped through you so fast it was almost bright.“Daryl—”
“I know.” Bullets kept coming, not wild exactly, which was somehow worse. Whoever was shooting from St. Hale knew enough to aim low, knew enough to understand that he did not need to hit you clean if he could simply turn the boat into a problem the sea would finish for him. A shot struck close enough to your right that wood spat against your hand. You flinched hard and heard Daryl suck in a breath through his teeth, sharp and involuntary. “What was that?”
“Nothin’.” That was a lie and you both knew it. The smell hit a second later — blood, thin but unmistakable, sharp even through salt and wet wood and your own fear. “You can’t lie to me, dumbass. I know you’re hit!”
“It’s just a graze!” His voice was already moving past it, brutal with focus. “Arm.”
Another bullet punched through somewhere behind you and the boat lurched sickeningly as more water rushed in through holes it had no right to have. Daryl made the decision in the same instant you understood what it was. “Alright,” he said, breathless now, rage and urgency grinding together in his voice. “We’re exposed, and we’re sinkin’. We gotta swim for it.”
You froze. Your blood ran cold as your throat closed up. It felt like you were staring death in the face, and you weren’t even submerged yet. “No. Nuh huh. Nope.”
He threw the oars aside and lunged for you, both hands coming up to frame your face so fast and hard it shocked you still. His palms were freezing, wet, smelling of salt and wood and blood. “Please no, there’s gotta be another way, please don’t make me—“
“Baby, I know. I know! But we don’t got a choice alrigh”.”
Another shot cracked over your head. The boat dropped lower. The water around your boots was no longer seeping. It was submerging.
You made a sound — not a word, just refusal with nowhere to go — and he pressed his forehead to yours for one split second, enough to pin you in the moment with him.
“I’m right here, alrigh’ I’m gon’ be with you the whole time,” he said, grabbing your hand. “You hear me? You don’t let go and we stay together.” And with that he hauled you over the side with him before you had the chance to freak out more.
The cold hit like violence. Just as you remembered. Force first; the sea taking hold of every inch of you at once and yanking hard, shoving up your nose, into your ears, down your collar, tearing the breath out of you before panic even got a turn. Black water swallowed you whole. There was no sky, no island, no boat, no world, only freezing and pressure and that old ancient terror of not knowing where anything was except wrong.
Daryl’s hand nearly wrenched your shoulder from its socket, and thank God for that, because it meant direction. It meant him. You kicked blindly toward the pull of him, lungs locking, clothes dragging like dead weight. Then his grip shifted and the shape of the boat changed above you. Not gone; turned — he had flipped it.
You came up under the belly of it together in a burst of choking air and cold, heads bobbing in water so black it might as well have been ink, the overturned hull above your heads trapping a pocket of air that smelled of wet wood, rot, and the raw animal panic of your breathing. You clung to him before dignity got a vote. The little world under the boat was all echo and close dark and the insane thunder of your pulse. The freezing water lapped at your ribs, your waist, rising and falling in cramped, nauseating little surges, and every sound outside reached you distorted — gunshots no longer cracks but strange, blunted concussions through wood and sea, distant and warped, as if the water itself was swallowing the violence before it reached you.
You gasped and coughed and shook so hard your teeth knocked once. Daryl caught the back of your neck with one hand, the other braced somewhere against the underside of the hull to steady both of you. “Hey - you with me?” You nodded too fast, then realised he probably couldn’t see that in the dark and croaked, “Uh huh.”
His breath was coming hard too, rougher than he’d want, and when he shifted you felt the warmth of his blood mixing faintly with the freezing water around you.
Outside, the shooting had changed. Not stopped —but changed it’s target.
The rhythm of it was wrong now, the shots no longer punching directly at the boat but angling elsewhere, farther off, followed by something that sounded like shouting from the shore and then another voice answering from a different position entirely.
Even beneath the hull, with the sea booming softly all around you and the cold trying to turn your bones to wire, you could hear it: whoever had been shooting at you was shooting at something else now. And for one suspended, impossible moment beneath the overturned boat, with the freezing dark pressing at every side and Daryl’s hand locked hard around yours, that was almost worse than the bullets.
The two of you were wading with the waves towards what was hoplefully the islands beach, but at that point your brain was on a sabbatical. The sea did not get kinder just because the boat was upside down. You and Daryl moved under it in fits and desperate little surges, the overturned hull turning the distant gunshots into muffled echos which you couldnt pinpoint It did absolutely nothing about the water itself — the cold of it, the drag of it, the way each wave shouldered in and sloshed around your ribs and chest and made the trapped air pocket shudder overhead like the whole rotten thing might decide to roll again and be done with both of you. You were breathing too fast. You knew you were breathing too fast, and knowing it didn't help in the slightest. Every time the water rose up against your throat, your body remembered the lake — not in clean, tidy images, but in instinct, in the blind animal certainty that too much water meant no up, no down, no air, no world except cold. Your fingers had locked onto Daryl so hard they ached, one hand in his shirt, the other clamped around his wrist like if you let go for even a second you might simply be absorbed into the Atlantic and never found.
“Hey,” he said, close enough that the word brushed your cheek before it reached your ear, his voice strange and hollow under the boat, all the edges of it warped by wood and water. “Just focus on me.”
Another wave shoved under the hull, and you made a horrible little sound, more anger than fear if anyone asked later. “I gotcha," he reminded.
“I hate this. I hate this so much.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean I really, genuinely, profoundly—”
“I know,” he said again, firmer this time, one hand sliding to the back of your neck, thumb rough and grounding there despite the freezing water. “Listen ta me. We’re covered. We’re movin’. You’re with me. Ya ain’t under. You hear? Say it.”
You swallowed hard. “I'm not under,” you got out. “Good. Keep breathin’. Nice n slow.”
“That feels condescending, given the situation.”
A laugh almost escaped him, or maybe a cough; under the boat it was hard to tell. “You wanna panic faster, be my guest.”
You could feel him shifting, treading, keeping one hand on the hull and one on you. The waves were still coming in ugly little lifts, knocking your knees and elbows into each other, making the boat bump and shudder above your heads, but at least the hull took the wind off. No bullets close now. No open night sky. Just the small, wet, awful cave of this one trapped pocket and Daryl’s voice in it. “Talk to me,” he said. That was a rare request. “What about?” For once, you couldn't think of anything to say.
“Don’t care,” he said. You nearly told him there was nothing in the world less interesting than your thoughts right now, but that would have required having better thoughts than cold cold cold holy shit cold water and, unfortunately, you did not. So you opened your mouth to say something flippant, something about dry land or central heating or how much you intended to sue the Atlantic personally when this was over, and instead, with all grace and timing abandoned somewhere back in Widow’s Hook, if you had any to begin with, you blurted, “I think I might be pregnant.”
Daryl’s grip on you tightened so hard it almost hurt. For one beat he said nothing at all, and under the boat, the dark seemed to pull in tighter, the freezing water lapping at your ribs while the whole stupid world held its breath. Then, “that ain’t funny.”
“I’m not joking.” That got his full attention in a way even the bullets hadn’t. You felt him turn toward you in the cramped dark, could feel the change in his breathing, the way all of him suddenly sharpened around the words like they had cut him open. Your own pulse was going haywire now, your body shaking so hard from cold and panic and adrenaline that you couldn’t stop it if you tried.
“I’m serious,” you said again, and once it was out there was no calling it back, so the rest came tumbling after it in one messy rush, too fast and too breathless and stripped of dignity to sound like anything but truth. “All the nausea and the headaches and I can’t remember the last time I got my period and I know that doesn’t mean anything for sure, I know it could be nothing, it’s just been at the back of my mind and I kept not saying it because it sounded stupid and I didn’t want to—”
“You tell me this now?” he hissed. There was a touch of anger in it, which made it so much worse. He was somehow managing to stay level-headed through all the chaos over the last hour, and thanks to you, he was pushed over the edge. He was staring in total, stunned, slightly furious disbelief while simultaneously trying to rank the ten new disasters he'd been handed in his head. “I know,” you said, voice pitching higher with panic. “I know, I’m sorry, I just— I’m really freaking out right now and it came out—”
Another wave shoved under the hull and slapped cold against your chest. You made a sound and clutched harder at him. Daryl’s hand came up to rub your back once, grounding by instinct even while the rest of him had clearly gone into a full internal tailspin. He swore under his breath, not at you, not even really at the situation — just into it, because there was nowhere else for it to go. Then he said, low and rough and trying very hard to keep his mind on the order things needed doing, “We’ll talk ’bout this once we deal with the asshole shootin’ at us.”
You thought it would be best for you to shut up now. In your defence, he didn't specify what to talk about, but best not poke the bear. You could feel him thinking, too fast, too hard, the news already tearing through him in a dozen directions at once, even as he kept his body steady and close and practical. You knew him well enough to know what that silence meant. He was cataloguing everything backwards now — the throwing up, the headaches, the way you’d looked rougher on the road, every strange little symptom he hadn’t pushed hard enough on because there had always been something more immediate to survive first. And because he was Daryl, because his mind would always run to the worst place before it let itself come back, you knew there was fear moving under all of that too. “I’m sorry,” you said again, smaller now.
“Don’t,” he muttered. “Just— don’t.” You couldn't fault him for being blunt; it was the best he had while there was still an unpredictable forecast of bullet showers and the sea still trying to drag you under.
Then his body changed against yours. “Hey,” he said, all business again, voice tightening. “Bottom’s comin’ up.” For a second, you didn't understand what he meant. And suddenly there was no room left for panic except the kind that moved your legs forward. It wasn’t the sand itself, but the change in movement. The sea still pulled, still shoved, still wanted you cold and scared and obedient, but there was less depth in the push now, less endlessness under your dangling legs. Daryl shifted again, angled the hull a little, and the next time a wave rolled through, your boots scraped something solid. You yelped. Not because it hurt, but because it existed – it wasn’t just pure manifestation snobbery. The sound that left you then was so relieved it bordered on hysterical. “Told ya,” Daryl said
“You did not tell me there was ground.”
“I implied it was,” he huffed, and you could have kissed him for the sarcasm alone.
The next wave hit, and your feet found it again, better this time — stones, slick and uneven under the water, real enough to stand on in the spaces between surges, real enough that the panic loosening inside your chest all at once almost made your knees go out. Daryl felt that too. “Easy,” he murmured. “Ain’t done yet.”
The boat had to go. The second both of you knew you could stand, even badly, the little shelter of the overturned hull became less a blessing and more a trap. Daryl’s hand left yours long enough to steady the boat for one more second while he listened, head tipped, gauging the gunfire outside. It had changed again. No longer a steady shower. Bursts. Gaps. Shouting somewhere farther upshore. He breathed out. “Now.” You ducked out from under the hull together, and the wind hit you like an open hand.
The island rose ahead as a darker black against the black sky, all jagged rock and broken outlines, with somewhere above that the suggestion of walls or towers or old stone shouldering into the weather. The water between you and shore was shallower now, waist-deep and angry, waves smashing themselves to white around a narrow strip of rock and shingle. Daryl took your hand again, and you lurched after him, half swimming, half stumbling, both of you bent low as if the dark alone could keep bullets off you. The sea fought for every step. It dragged at your clothes, shoved sideways at your knees, slapped your thighs with water so cold it felt sentient. Daryl hauled you through it like he hated it personally, breath harsh, one arm doing double the work because the other had been grazed and was starting to stiffen, whether he admitted it or not.
“Can you see anything?” you shouted over the wind. “Not much,” he shouted back. “Rocks. Wall maybe. Somethin’ higher up. Dock’s smashed up.” Very helpful. Very not. But your hearing had something now that mattered more than sight.
At first it was only struggle, so tangled in the wind and the sea you almost missed it — a scrape of shoes or boots skidding over wet stone, something heavy falling, a human breath dragged in too fast and let out as a curse. Then, under it, the sound that froze your spine for a completely different reason. Walkers.
And not the inland moaning drag you were used to either. These were wet-throated, broken things, their voices ruined by salt and rot, all gurgle and suckling breath. And threaded through that, one man fighting for his life. You stopped dead, with Daryl nearly dragging you another step before he realised. “What?”
“There,” you said, turning your head hard into the dark. “Someone’s in trouble. Up ahead. Left a little.” He trusted you immediately. No pause. No ya sure? Just a change in direction and a muttered, “Go.”
Despite the freezing water and your screaming muscles and the fact that your body still had not forgiven the Atlantic for existing, you ran. Or what counted as running in thigh-deep surf over rocks slick as eels. You splashed and stumbled and recovered and splashed again, Daryl close enough that every time you slipped, his grip yanked you upright before the sea could take advantage of it. The sounds got louder fast — the walkers’ ruined moans, the skid of desperate feet on stone, one more gunshot too close and then none. “Five,” Daryl said, sudden and sharp. “Maybe six— no. Five standin’. The shoreline under your boots turned from shingle to jagged rock, the water pulling away just enough that you were climbing more than wading now. Another wave crashed around your knees and dropped back hissing. Somewhere ahead, a man shouted something hoarse and furious that you couldn’t make out over the surf.
Then Daryl let go of your hand, the sound of his knife leaving its sheath was quick and intimate as breath. What came next was fast and brutal and almost easy. You couldn't see it properly, only caught pieces — the wet crunch of a blade finding home, a body hitting stone, the ugly barnacled rattle of walkers too damaged by sea to move right but still moving anyway. Daryl tore through them like someone who had quite frankly had enough of this night before it had even started. The graze to his arm might as well not have existed for all the attention he paid it. One went down with a hard splash. Another with the crack of skull against rock. A third gave a horrible bubbling hiss and then nothing. By the time you had found your own knife and a safe angle that did not involve accidentally stabbing your husband, he had finished the last two and was breathing hard over a shoreline suddenly full of literal dead weight. The smell hit then — salt and rot and old seaweed and the opened-up stink of bodies that had not belonged in the water as long as they had been in it. Even without seeing them clearly, you could feel the wrongness of them. When one wave washed over their legs, you heard shells knock softly against stone where barnacles clung to what had once been skin.
You swallowed against nausea and turned toward the breathing. The survivor was somewhere ahead and a little above you, panting hard enough to whistle. You picked your way toward the sound over slick black rock, every inch of you shivering now that movement had stopped pretending to keep you warm. “You need a hand?” you called.
There was a startled scramble, the slap of boots losing purchase, and then an undignified thud as the man fell flat on his ass. “Okay, maybe not phrased ideally...”
You crouched enough to reach out, but he reacted as if you had pulled a snake on him. He staggered backward over the rocks instead, slipping once more, catching himself on some higher ledge with a curse that sounded educated and filthy in equal measure. “Uhh are you… hurt? Bit? Daryl is he—?”
“How many times,” he snapped, breathless and shaking with fury, “do I have to tell you sorry sons of bitches to leave me the hell al— He stopped. Not because Daryl had just stepped up — because he had heard you. Or maybe because he had finally actually looked and realised that whatever he had expected to come crashing over his rocks, it had not been a woman, soaked to the skin, half-feral with cold, standing beside a dripping hillbilly and a pile of sea-rotted dead. The silence that followed was only a second long, but it was a full, astonished second. Then he said, with the kind of disbelief only a profoundly lonely man could bring to the occasion, “Sweet Christ.” Daryl moved half a step in front of you. “You Kessler?"
The man looked between the two of you, chest still heaving, one hand braced against the rock behind him as if his body had not quite gotten the memo that the immediate danger was over. He was older than you’d imagined and somehow more dramatic for it, all angles and weather and neglect. He was a mess of a man — coat hanging open over a sweater that might once have been military issue and was now mostly whiskey and salt, hair blown wild around a face gone sharp with age and solitude, beard half-kept and half-abandoned, eyes quick and pale in whatever little light there was, too alive for a man who had supposedly been rotting on a rock alone for years. He stared at Daryl. Then at you. Then back at Daryl again. “How,” he said slowly, suspiciously, and with a voice roughened by both alcohol and too much disuse, “do you know me?”
——————
Kessler’s kitchen looked like the rest of St. Hale; desolate yet bullied into functioning anyway. The room had probably once been some sort of service galley for the older fort, then a utility kitchen for the later medical annex, and now it sat in the middle of all those former lives wearing them badly. Steel counters gone dull with use; open shelving crowded with tins, jars, bundles of dried herbs hanging upside down beside coiled wire and spare bulbs, as if he’d stopped distinguishing between food and hardware years ago. A kettle hissed on an old iron stove that had no business still working and yet clearly did. A bank of cupboards lined one wall, some military green, some household cream, none matching. There were stacks of books where books had no place being, old medical texts swollen with damp, ledgers, maintenance manuals, and at least three bottles of whisky and rum in varying states of emptiness sharing space with tea tins and a jar of screws.
It smelled like hot metal, iodine, damp stone, old paper, gun oil, and the faint medicinal ghost of alcohol wipes. Under that sat the richer smell of something stewed hours ago and forgotten, and under that, barely, the stale lonely smell of a place one man had lived in too long without anyone else to make him be ashamed of it. Kessler shoved the door shut behind you with his boot, muttered something filthy at the lock until it caught properly, then stalked straight to the stove without bothering to see whether the two of you had followed. Which, of course, you had. Daryl walked into the room like he was conducting a risk assessment, dripping seawater onto the stone and tracking everything with his eyes in one sweep — doors, windows, knives, exits, the doctor’s gun, the cut of the counters, where you could be hidden, where you could be trapped.
The tea Kessler eventually shoved toward you tasted like boiled nails, but the mug was hot enough to hurt your palms and for a moment that was all that mattered. You sat at the table because your legs had begun to feel like jelly, and let the heat seep into your fingers while Daryl stayed on his feet at your shoulder, one hand planted on the back of your chair like he didn’t entirely trust you not to slide off it.
Kessler threw two blankets at you without looking — not handed. Threw. One hit your shoulder. The other slid half off your lap before Daryl caught it and wrapped both around you with rough hands, muttering, “Your teeth’re gettin’ on my nerves.” You smiled faintly into the ugly wool, and Kessler grumbled, “how romantic,” like it was an insult. Kessler poured something stronger than tea into his own mug, drank it in one go, and finally turned to look at the two of you as if properly seeing you for the first time had only just become worth the effort. “Well?” he said. “Explain yourselves.”
The question from the rocks had made it all the way in with you. You took a sip of the awful tea, winced through it, and answered before Daryl had to. “Uhh well – it was a friend of ours who found you,” you said. Kessler’s eyebrows lifted; “not literally,” you amended. “That would’ve saved us some trouble. He found bits of records. Mentions of St. Hale in old federal storage indexes, personnel references, procurement logs — things like that. He has a real gift for making other people’s filing mistakes feel prophetic.”
Kessler made a low sound in his throat that was not quite disbelief. You kept going, because once you started explaining this it was impossible not to hear how absurd it all sounded. “I was injured. Chemical exposure. Bad - like blinding bad. There were… attempts after. Treatments. Some were a waste of time. Some almost worked. We got partial recovery, but not enough. We found a cryostorage facility up north and thought we might be onto something bigger, but that didn’t pan out the way we hoped, and Eugene kept digging. Eventually, he found enough references to an ophthalmic trauma unit on an island off Baltimore.”You tucked your hands tighter around the mug, soaking in the heat. “So, here we are.” Kessler stood very still while you talked. Not kindly still. Not welcoming. But with the sort of rigid attention that betrayed old professional habits beneath all the whiskey and hostility. He was listening in spite of himself — that much you could tell. Daryl, apparently bored of waiting for him to admit that, cut in. “So what the hell happened to this place?” Kessler’s mouth thinned. “Direct,” he said. “Should try it sometime,” Daryl answered.
For a second you thought Kessler might tell him to go to hell on principle. Then he leaned back against the counter instead, crossing his arms with loose carelessness, as if trying to disguise his lassitude. “What happened,” he said, “is exactly what happens to every clever little government nest once the men with the budgets and badges stop existing. St. Hale was never important enough to save and too useful to abandon properly, which left it to men like me.” He gave a tiny one-shouldered shrug. “It was a signal station before any of the medical nonsense. Naval watchpoint for a while after. Then some bright bureaucratic creature decided that an isolated coastal fort with existing infrastructure and no civilian oversight would make an excellent place to tuck away ocular trauma research, chemical exposure cases, low-light injury studies, flash burns, retinal salvage, cryopreservation, all the things the military preferred to keep out of the newspapers.” He said it dryly, but there was pride under it, unmistakable and unwilling to die. “We had generators, supply drops, controlled cold rooms, field theaters, enough equipment to make Baltimore General look provincial. Then the world ended, the supply chain went feral, and every useful man either died or fled.”
“And you stayed,” you said. Jesus it was like CDC all over again, you thought. He gave you a look over the rim of his mug. “Clearly.”
Daryl’s hand tightened once on the back of your chair. “Why?” Kessler glanced around his kitchen as if the answer were laid out there in the mismatched cupboards and the rusty stove. “Because it was stocked, defensible, and mine by virtue of everyone else being too dead to argue.” You took another sip of tea and regretted it again. “That is an alarmingly honest answer.”
“It saves time,” Kessler put simply. Daryl tipped his head toward the lower levels somewhere beyond the kitchen wall. “And the Hook men?”
At that, something in Kessler’s face changed. Not dramatically. Just enough to make him look less like a difficult old man and more like a difficult old man who had spent years carefully feeding a grudge until it turned into a whole new vice. “The Hook men,” he said, “are opportunistic, superstitious, thieving barnacles who’d strip the wiring from the walls and call it stewardship if I let them on the island for more than ten minutes.”
“That feeling seems mutual,” you said.
“As it should,” Kessler spat. “And as for your impediment miss, I’m afraid you have made this whole trip for nothing.”
You blinked. “Uhh, come again – this time in my ear.”
“I’m retired,” he said, tapping it with one finger before reaching for the bottle again. The room went still around that. Daryl stared at him. “Well, un-retire.” Kessler snorted whisky into his own mustache. “Excellent. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I ain’t jokin.”
“Oh, I know you’re not,” Kessler said. “That’s what makes you exhausting. I’m retired, Mr.—”
“Dixon.”
“Mr. Dixon. I do not have staff, sterile support, replacement stock, proper anesthesia, reliable power in all wings, or any professional obligation to resurrect a career because two damp lunatics crawled out of the sea.”
Daryl’s expression darkened by degrees. “You’d be dead if it wasn’t for us.” Kessler considered that and shrugged. “I gave you tea and blankets, didn’t I? I’d say we’re all behaving beautifully.” You stared at him over your mug. “Ah. Okay. Good to know. Come on, honey, let’s leave the nice retired man to his… whatever all this is. We’ll just take the boat we don’t have.” The boat you previously had was, of course, at the bottom of the channel. Kessler lifted his shoulders. “Swim back, for all I care.”
Daryl barked out one short, disbelieving laugh. “The fuck— You really gon make a blind woman swim five miles back cause ya don’t like company?”He sounded one step from pitching the nearest object through the nearest wall. The guilt tripping clearly didnt work because Kessler just shrugged again like his answer was obvious. And because you were tired, cold, furious, and absolutely unwilling to let this old bastard have the last word in his own kitchen, you looked at Kessler and said, “Hey. So you’ve been living out here, alone, for over a decade. How the hell are you so useless with walkers?”
He stared at you for a long moment over the rim of his mug, then lowered it very carefully and said, “I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me,” you said, setting the mug down with a soft clink. “You nearly got chewed on by five sea-rotted corpses on your own front yard. Which is embarrassing enough on its own, but a little extra embarrassing given the fortress, the gun, the dramatic entrance, and the general amount of arrogance you’ve brought to this conversation.” Kessler’s eyes flicked once to Daryl, as if checking whether you were always like this. Daryl, unhelpfully, said, “She’s got a point.” That seemed to pain him more than the walkers had. “I’ve not had to concern myself overmuch with them.”
“You don’t say,” you snickered. “Tonight,” he said, with a stiffness that made the answer more revealing than any confession, “was unusual.”
“How unusual?” Daryl asked.
Kessler did not answer right away. He poured more whisky instead, took too much of it, and set the bottle down with more force than was strictly required. “To start — two strangers showing up is pretty unusual. The rotters, well, they’ve been washing up more,” he said at last. “At first one every week or so. Then every few days. Now…” He made a vague, irritated gesture toward the exterior of the island, as if the entire shoreline had personally betrayed him. “Now every damned tide seems to bring me another corpse with seaweed for a wig.”
That sobered the room in a hurry. You exchanged a look with Daryl, or at least you aimed in his direction. “Washed up from where?” you asked. Kessler laughed without humor. “If I knew that, I’d have solved it already.”
“The Hook?” Daryl suggested; Kessler’s expression turned vicious. “The Hook,” he said, “has reason enough.” There was more in that than suspicion. You heard it —Daryl too. The doctor saw that you noticed it and, being too tired or too drunk or too lonely to back away from it now, kept going. “They want the island,” he said. “They’ve wanted the island for years. Not because they understand it. Not because they’d use it properly. Because it’s mine and because I’ve kept it from them.”
“Why?” you asked and he barked a laugh. “Why do they want anything? Stores. Power. Walls. Fresh water. The fantasy of order. Pick one.”
“No,” Daryl said, voice flattening. “Why keep it from ’em.”
Kessler looked at the stove instead of at either of you. “Because I know them.” He swallowed once, hard enough to hear, and set the mug down. “There are things they’ve done,” he said, and the words came measured now, each one bitten off clean as if he had spent years not saying them out loud and found the taste disgusting. “Things they call necessity. Things they call weather. Things they call grief, because grief is a useful coat for ugly behavior if you wear it long enough.” He lifted one shoulder. “I am not a moral man, Mrs. Dixon. I am not even, on most days, a particularly pleasant one. But I know what they are when they stop pretending.”
The room had gone very still. The island was bigger than it had looked from the sea. Not just stone and old medicine and one paranoid drunk. It was history. Feud. Attrition. Men hardening into doctrines because there had been no one left to soften against. Suddenly your little private mission didn’t feel so private anymore. Sitting here in Kessler’s kitchen with salt drying on your skin and the walls of St. Hale around you, it widened all at once into something messier, bigger than the two of you. A siege waiting to happen. A man on an island too stubborn to die and a harbour full of men too greedy to let him keep what was his. Whatever this place had become, it had been rotting toward it for years before you ever set foot on the shore.
You wrapped Daryl’s jacket tighter around yourself, pulling the damp wool closer under your chin, and said, carefully, “If they want the island that badly, why haven’t they just taken it?” Kessler gave you a deeply sour look over the rim of his mug, as if you had asked why gulls screamed or why men were thick. “Because I shoot better than they do,” he said, “and because, until recently, I haven’t had much trouble from the dead.”
“There’s that recently again,” Daryl grumbled. You shifted in the chair, every muscle in your body objecting to life, and said, “So either the walkers are washing in naturally, which is bad, or someone’s pushing them this direction, which is worse.” Kessler spread one hand at you in a little flourish of bitter mock congratulations, all but saying well done, you’ve nearly caught up. You looked at the hand, then at him. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“That gesture. It’s very smug for a man who was five seconds from being eaten on his own lawn.” The laugh that came out of him then was real enough to startle the room.
Not big or warm. Just sharp and sudden and dragged up from somewhere that had not been used in too long. It lasted a beat longer than it should have, enough that it tipped from normal into strange, and when it stopped you found yourself watching him, caught on the weirdness of hearing something so human come out of him. He realised that you noticed, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “My wife used to say things like that,” he said. The room went still in a much quieter way than before. You didn’t ask where she was because you didn’t have to — she wasn’t here. He hadn't said my wife says. He hadn't said back home or when she was here. Just that one brittle little past tense, laid down and left there. Daryl felt it too; you could tell by the way his hand tightened once on the back of your chair and then loosened again.
Kessler stared into his mug as if the answer might be sitting at the bottom with the whisky stains. “She had a real gift,” he said, voice gone dry again, “for making my worst moments sound reasonable in hindsight.”
You tilted your head. “Sounds charming,” you said, and his mouth twitched again.
That was enough of that. Not because you lacked curiosity but because you could tell from the way he held himself that if you pushed there too soon, you’d get the emotional equivalent of buckshot. So you leaned back instead, ignored the way your body begged for sleep and warmth and basically anything but this shitty tea, and said, “Okay.”
Daryl glanced down at you. “Okay?” You looked up at Kessler. “You help us,” you said, “and we help you.” He blinked at you. Not confused exactly. More like a man who had spent too long alone and was no longer entirely convinced other people still behaved in ways that made sense. “I beg your pardon?”
“We fight your fight,” you said. “Walkers. Hook fishermen. Whatever fresh nightmare is washing up on your beach. We help defend the island, and in return, you take a serious look at me. Properly. No retirement speech, no lonely old man pity fest, no pretending this is all too inconvenient for you. You give it your best shot.” Kessler stared at you as if you had started barking. Daryl folded his arms. “She means it.”
“Oh, I know she means it.” He rubbed a hand once over his mouth, still watching you.
“You need hands,” you said. “You got cornered by a pack of ugly face-eating mermaids on your own turf, man.” He looked offended by the accuracy of that. “With your luck, I’d say you’ll be dead within a week,” Daryl added.
Kessler’s eyes snapped to the graze on Daryl’s arm, then away again with immediate irritation at himself for having done so. Old habits, there and gone. Doctor before hermit, no matter how hard he tried otherwise. “I’ve been fine by myself for a while now, havent i?” he snapped. “I do not need mercenaries.”
“No,” you replied, tucking your feet up under the chair a little deeper into the blanket. “You need allies. Which, admittedly, is much worse.”
That got him again. Not a full laugh this time. Just the briefest crack at the corner of his mouth before he bullied it flat. “And if I say no?” he asked.
You glanced toward the walls of St. Hale, toward the unseen beach where the walkers had come up and where more, if the tide felt particularly vindictive, might already be dragging themselves ashore in the dark. “Then I suppose we all sit here and wait for your tropical island to become colonised by the dead - or by those assholes back at The Hook. It’s kinda a 50/50 toss up.”
That one landed hard enough to hollow the air out for a second. Daryl stepped in before Kessler could do what he’d been doing all evening, which was try to turn every point back into argument and hide in it. “You said yourself they want this place,” he said. “You said the dead’re gettin’ worse. We can help with both. But you help her.”
Kessler looked at him for a long while, and then, annoyingly, looked back at you instead. You had the distinct impression that whatever he was deciding was not really about Daryl at all. It was about you in this kitchen, drenched and shivering and still talking back to him like you’d known him years instead of minutes. You made him remember, against his better judgment, that he could still be looked in the eye and called a useless old bastard, not just be hated and feared from afar. And maybe — though you wouldn’t know this for sure yet — it was about guilt too. About a woman he had once failed by staying put when he should have gone looking, by choosing defensible walls over impossible hope, and the way that sort of decision never really stopped happening inside a person, no matter how many years they buried it under work and drink and solitude. “You don’t even know what’s wrong with her,” he said at last.
“No,” Daryl replied. “That’s your part.” Another silence followed, but this one was different. Less resistance now. More arithmetic.
You could practically hear it happen in Kessler’s noggin: the doctor in him warring with the hermit, the professional with the drunk, the man who wanted everyone out with the man who had spent a lifetime measuring damage and deciding what could still be salvaged if he got there in time. He exhaled through his nose, disgusted on principle. “If I agree to assess,” he said, holding the word there with enough emphasis to make sure you understood he was not yet promising anything, “not promise, assess, and if I conclude there is anything to be done — anything at all — then I decide the terms.”
“Fine.”
“You do not interrupt me while I work.” Daryl opened his mouth to argue; without looking away from Kessler, you reached back and thumped Daryl’s thigh. “Fine.”
“You do exactly what I say in medical matters, even when I am rude.”
“You’re rude now? What happened to bedside manners?”
“Feel free to complain to the wall,” he said.
You smiled into the blanket. “Still fine.” That got the laugh again — smaller this time, but no less strange for how little practice there was in it. He seemed almost irritated by it himself, by the way it escaped him and lingered too long in the room. He glared at both of you then, as if your willingness was somehow offensive. Then, with all the grace of a man signing away both his peace and his pride in the same motion, Kessler, now doctor, said, “Then God help me, I suppose I’ve un-retired."
Kessler snatched up a lantern from the counter, checked the wick with two irritated fingers, and jerked his chin toward a narrow door half-hidden behind a bank of old cabinets. “Come on, then,” he said. “Before I remember I don’t actually want company”
“Too late,” you muttered into your tea. That won you the smallest twitch at one corner of his mouth, though whether it was amusement or the beginning of a stroke remained unclear. The room beyond the kitchen had once very obviously been an exam room and had never quite stopped being one, no matter what the years had put it through. The air was cooler in here, touched with dust and antiseptic and cold metal, and it carried that stale, silencing smell of spaces kept functional long after they’d stopped being lived in.
The walls were painted in some old institutional green that had gone foxed and uneven in the damp. A narrow examination chair sat in the middle of the room, not quite dentist, not quite surgical, with its cracked leather split at one arm and mended with strips of careful tape. Steel cabinets lined one wall, their glass fronts fogged with age and salt bloom, behind them ranks of old bottles, sealed packs, instruments in rolls, labelled boxes in Kessler’s precise hand. A sink stood under a mirrored medicine cabinet with one spiderweb crack through the glass, and beside it an old adjustable lamp hung from the wall like an insect, all jointed arms and stubborn angles. There were books here too, of course. Stacks of them on the counter, under the counter, two piled on a stool, one open and face-down on the floor as if he’d been interrupted by the two of you.
Daryl stopped in the doorway and looked around with the kind of deep suspicion most people reserved for snakes and taxidermy. You took one careful step in and said, “Yo doc — you ever do lobotomies or something?”
Kessler, already moving past you to set the lantern down on a side counter, didn't bother turning. “No, but that’s not a terrible idea for your course of treatment.”
“You’re real funny yknow that Kessler?”
“I was being earnest,” Kessler grumbled, and turned to take in the sight of you still wrapped up in blankets like a disgruntled burrito. “Oh, for God’s sake,” he said. “You can’t be examined as a pile of wool. Sit down.”
“Charming bedside manner already,” you said, but obeyed anyway, finding the exam chair by touch and easing into it with a shaky breath. Dary came to stand behind you, close enough that you could feel him there without reaching. Kessler noticed that too, of course. You were beginning to suspect this guy just noticed everything. Which was great for you - what have you to hide? “How old?” he asked abruptly.
You blinked. “What, me?”
“No, the chair.” You gave him a look he could probably hear. “Charming and funny. Dangerous combination.”
“Age,” Kessler repeated. By now, he'd figured that if he didn’t manage to drag information out of you by the roots, it would likely arrive half-formed and wearing a joke as camouflage. You frowned at him from the chair, blankets pooled around your lap, still damp in places despite the stove in the next room doing its best. “Uhh… thirties?” You gave a weak little shrug. “I dunno. Kinda lost track of that. We aren’t big on birthdays.”
He made no comment on that, which felt ungrateful. He only nodded once, filed it away somewhere behind those pale, too-attentive eyes of his, and reached out with one hand. “Look at me.” You did, or tried to — the exam room’s dimness helped and didn’t. It spared you the hard, knifing brightness that made your skull feel lined with broken glass, but in exchange, it left everything in that same half-born state you’d learned to endure: warmer darks and colder darks, softened edges, the suggestion of a face where a face ought to be, never fully settling unless something moved. Kessler’s outline hovered close and angular in front of you, all wiry impatience and old habits.
“You mentioned the original injury was chemical exposure,” he said, his fingers turning your chin a fraction to the left with a steadiness that did not match the rest of him at all.
You exhaled once through your nose, trying to arrange memory into something that sounded less insane than it had felt at the time. “Yeah, it was a mess of solvents and other things Eugene would probably be very smug about being able to identify on sight,” you said. “It hit me square in the face. We rinsed what we could, as fast as possible, but…” Your mouth tightened. “Not fast enough.”
Kessler made a low sound in his throat — not quite sympathy, not quite judgment, more the weary professional response. “Loss of vision immediate?”
“Yep.”
“Pain?” You chuckled at his question without humour. “A bit.”
“Photophobia?”
“Still have that. Some days worse than others.” He shifted slightly at that, the lantern light dragging the shadow of his shoulder across the wall behind him. “Describe current vision.” That one gave you pause; you searched for the words, fingertips tightening once in the blanket, and before you found them, Daryl’s voice came from behind your shoulder, quiet and matter-of-fact. “She says it’s like watercolors.”
Kessler’s hand paused against your jaw. “That what you say?” You turned toward Daryl’s voice before you could stop yourself, that automatic little tilt of your face betraying you before you had time to correct it, and heat crept unhelpfully up your neck.
“Yeah,” you said, recovering with what dignity you could salvage. “Like everything’s been painted wet and never dried right. Bright things get through best. Motion helps. Faces are…” You lifted a hand out from under the blanket and made a vague, frustrated little gesture in the air. “More suggestion than reality unless they move.”
For one brief second, Kessler went very still. “Interesting,” he muttered, You frowned. “That did not sound reassuring.”
“It wasn’t meant to.” He noted, leaning in closer then, close enough that you caught the sharper details of him by proximity rather than sight — stale whisky, the fish supper he'd had, the faint medicinal smell that had probably been soaked into his skin for half his life. His fingers turned your face another fraction, thumb pressing lightly beneath your lower lid before he reached to the tray and picked up a small penlight. “Tell me - before you swing at me - if the light hurts.” You huffed, “kinda ruins the surprise, but okay.”
He clicked it on. Even that small beam hit mean; pain stabbed quick and bright behind your eye, and your whole face wanted to flinch away before pride got involved. “Mm,” Kessler said. “Pupil response sluggish. Hold still.” You hissed through your teeth, eyes already stinging. “But I am still,” you said, then, because apparently the universe enjoyed humiliating you, corrected yourself with a muttered, “Sure. Fine.” Behind you, Daryl made the tiniest sound, not quite a laugh but close enough to count if you were being charitable, and you would have glared at him if you’d had anything useful to glare with. Kessler moved the light again, this time lower and more careful, angling it so the pain narrowed from knife to ache. Your eyes still watered instantly, but at least it no longer felt like he was trying to spear your brain through your pupil. “Any pressure?” he asked. “To put it mildly,” you gritted.
“How often?”
“Lately?” You swallowed. “More often, I guess.”
“Headaches?” You opened your mouth but Daryl answered first. “Yeah. Been worse on the road.” Kessler looked up, past your shoulder, and the movement pulled yours with it before you could stop it. Wonderful. Another little accidental display of exactly how much you relied on Daryl to orient yourself. The heat in your face climbed another notch. “How much worse?” Kessler asked him. “Started before the harbour,” he said. “Past couple weeks, even before we left. Been rubbin’ her eyes more. Head too. Light’s been botherin’ her a hell of a lot.”
You frowned. “I can answer my own medical questions honey.” Kessler’s mouth barely moved. “Can you? Because so far your husband is doing a better job than you are.”
“That’s insanely rude,” you grumbled, to which he just ignored you.
He set the penlight down and reached for another instrument, something metal and old and unpleasantly cold where it touched the skin beneath your eye. You kept yourself from recoiling by sheer spite. “Have you had nausea before this trip?”
You hesitated. Barely. Less than a second. But it was enough. Behind you, Daryl went quiet in exactly the wrong way, and Kessler picked up on it at once. “Oh, excellent,” he said. “Now we’re hiding symptoms. My favourite category of patient.”
“It wasn’t hiding,” you said. “It was… curating.”
“It was hiding.” You sighed, accepting defeat. “Fine. Yes. Nausea.”
“How long?”
“Not long—” Then; “‘past week,” said Daryl. You turned your head toward him as far as Kessler’s grip would allow. “Why do you have to snitch on me?”
“You threw up by the harbour.”
“That was the fish smell.”
Kessler made a low, disgusted sound that somehow translated very clearly as I hate all of this and am now a great deal more interested than I wanted to be. “Any fever?” he asked. “No,” you quickly answered, voice suddenly sounding nasal. Behind you Daryl said, “I dunno. You’ve been feelin’ kinda hot.” You shut your eyes for one brief, appalled second. “Dearest, you’re being really unhelpful.”
“Bein’ more helpful than you.” You stuck your tongue out at him, and Kessler cleared his throat, clearly trying to make you behave. “Before tonight,” Kessler said, sounding like a man trying not to throw both of you bodily into the sea, “was there any fever?”
You pressed your lips together. “Fine maybe a little.”
“Chills?”
“I’m soaked in the North Atlantic, doctor. Define your terms.”
“Before tonight.” Another tiny pause. “Maybe,” you admitted.
“You mentioned vomiting - has that been a common occurrence recently?”
You weren't trying to be difficult, not exactly, but saying a thing out loud always made it more real than you wanted it to be, and Daryl’s silence behind you had gone from wrong to dreadful. He swore under his breath, and you scowled in his general direction. “Why are you acting like I’ve betrayed the state?”
“How’s he supposed ta help when ya don’t say nothin’?” Daryl scolded and all you could do was squawk at him while trying to justify how unhelpful you were being. Kessler stepped back then, just long enough to drag a stool over with one foot. It scraped across the floor in a tired metal complaint before he sat in front of you, elbows braced on his knees, peering at you with a look that had shifted so subtly it took you a moment to name it. Less difficult old drunk now. More physician with a grudge against reality. He picked up your wrist without asking and pressed two fingers into the pulse point there, his thumb firm against the inside of it while he counted in silence. The room seemed to gather in around that silence — the lantern glow, the cracked cabinets, the far-off muffled groan of the island settling against the weather. “You said you'd had further treatment after the initial injury,” he said at last.
You nodded. “Experimental. Improvised. We had help, but... it didn't work out.”
“The cryocentre?” he asked, and that made you blink. “You picked that out of all that?”
“It’s the only part I got from your babbling.” A tired little laugh escaped you. The room swam faintly when you tipped your head back against the chair. “There was stored material,” you said. “A compound. NK-47.”
Kessler’s hand stopped on your wrist. Even Daryl felt it, because his fingers tightened once on the chair behind you. When Kessler spoke again, his voice had flattened into something much more dangerous than ordinary rudeness. “Who administered it?”
You wet your lips. “A medic named Marla. She was super nice — and she had help. They knew some of what they were doing.”
“Some," he repeated back, scoffing. "What was delivery?” You frowned. “Delivery?”
“How was it introduced?” he asked, each syllable clipped clean. “Ocular? Intravenous? Tissue infiltration? Local bath? Don’t make me guess.” You looked, helplessly and instinctively, toward Daryl. He sounded as lost as you felt when he asked, “the hell kinda is that.” Kessler shut his eyes for one beat, like God was testing him personally. He looked back at you; “How,” he said with painful restraint, “did it go into her body?”
“Oooh.” You swallowed. “Local, mostly. Topical and… more direct than topical? Intra-whatever. Around the eye.... Look, it wasn’t exactly a spa, okay.”
His hand tightened once, almost imperceptibly, around your wrist. “Clearly.” He got up so fast the stool legs barked on the floor, then crossed to the counter and started opening drawers with increasingly irritated precision, metal clicking, glass shifting. The noise of it seemed too loud in the little room. You watched the blur of him move and said, trying for light and not quite getting there, “That reaction feels… loaded.” Daryl’s voice came low behind you. “What?”
Kessler found whatever he was looking for and turned back with a different lens in hand, older and heavier than the others, and no humour left in him at all. “What you’ve described,” he said, “is either a wildly irresponsible salvage attempt that happened to preserve some functional signal pathways by sheer luck, or the most reckless piece of miracle medicine I’ve heard of in a very long time.”
“That sounds… promising?”
“It’s not,” he said. Well don't sugarcoat it doc.
“So what the hell that mean?” Daryl pressed, clearly getting agitated. Kessler didn’t answer him right away. He was looking at you now with that terrible clinical stillness again, the one that said he had already started fitting pieces together and did not like the shape they made. “It means,” he said at last, very carefully, “that before I tell either of you anything useful, I need a proper look at what exactly has been left alive, what’s been aggravated, and what your body has been doing with it since.” You tried for a smile and got halfway there. “Wow. You really know how to talk a girl into confidence.”
“Silence,” he said, but there was no bite in it now. Something else instead. Focus. “Head back. Eyes up. And this time try keeping your trap shut.”
He didn't give you time to get nervous; he leaned in again with the lens and the light, and this time when the beam crossed your vision, it wasn’t the quick, mean stab from before, not something you could grit your teeth through and make snide comments at. The pain came hotter, sharper, with pressure blooming behind your eye and radiating backwards into your skull as if the light had found some raw place under the scarred tissue and pressed there deliberately. The room gave a small, ugly tilt; your stomach churning and your breath catching all at once. Kessler saw it, fingers tightening at your jaw before you could flinch away. “Don’t move.”
“Christ I wasn’t planning to—” The rest of it died on your tongue because nausea surged up, sudden and vicious, hot in your throat. You swallowed hard against it, one hand gripping the arm of the chair so fast your knuckles hurt. Behind you, Daryl straightened. “What?” Kessler didn’t answer him. His attention had narrowed down to your eyes, the instrument in his hand, the tiny involuntary tremor you couldn’t quite stop. He adjusted the beam, angled it lower, then lower still, muttering something under his breath that sounded too medical to be comforting and too soft to fully catch. “What?” you croaked, but he just ignored that too. The pressure behind your eyes turned and spread, joined now by that familiar, hateful fuzzing at the edges of your remaining sight, as if the watercolour world were being stirred too hard.
Then, from somewhere outside the room, through stone and distance and weather, came the first horn. It was low and ugly and close enough to shake the glass in the cabinets. Kessler stopped dead.
A second horn answered it from farther downshore. Then a third.
You felt Daryl move before you heard him, the scrape of his boots against the floor sharp in the cramped room. “Ya don’t think that’s them pricks from Hook?”
Kessler lowered the light slowly, every line of him tightening. The look on his face, when he turned toward the sound, was not surprise. Another horn blared, longer this time, carrying over the island in a brassy animal call that somehow managed to sound both dreadful and threatening.
Kessler swore like sailor from what you builds pick up in his hushed frantic mutterings under his breath. “They really don’t waste time,” he said.
As if to underline that, voices rose outside — too distant to make out words yet, but many of them, carried in broken pieces by the wind. The sea threw them up and the stone caught them and sent them back warped and louder than they should have been.
Kessler was moving before either of you answered. He snatched the lantern off the side table, shoved the lens back onto the tray with more force than necessary, and headed for the door in three quick strides, muttering, “Of course they come now. Of course.”
Daryl reached you before the room could tilt again, one hand at your shoulder and one at your elbow as he helped you carefully out of the chair. “You good?”
“No,” you said honestly, one hand coming up to your temple. “But I am vertical.”
“That ain’t the same thing.”
“Awfully observant tonight, huh?” He gave you a look that would have done more if the world hadn’t chosen that exact moment to tilt harder under your feet. The floor dipped. Or maybe your body did. Either way the nausea climbed another notch, fast enough to make you grab at his jacket. Daryl’s hand tightened instantly. Kessler, at the door already, glanced back just once. Whatever he saw in your face sharpened his own. “Try not to collapse until I can decide whether I’m annoyed or alarmed,” he said. “You got it doc,” you heaved, but he was gone into the corridor before the words had finished echoing.
The three of you moved through the fort in a rush at a jog. Kessler led, lantern swinging hard enough to throw the stone walls into ugly jerking life around you: old passages, damp stairs, narrow slits of window showing only black sea and the occasional lash of white where waves struck rock. Daryl stayed close enough that every time you faltered his hand was already there at the small of your back or bracing your arm, his own wet sleeve cold where it brushed you.
The horns sounded again by the time you reached the outer door, joined now by the thrum of multiple engines idling low in the water below. When Kessler threw the door open, the wind hit like a slap. Night had settled properly while you were inside. Not total black — Widow Light still turned somewhere beyond the channel, sweeping pale arcs across the water, and the harbour boats had their own lamps hung low and yellow over the decks — but dark enough that the island felt cut out of the world, its stone walls and jagged edges appearing only in fragments when light found them. Below, along the rough crescent of shore and the broken remains of the old landing, several boats sat in the water like waiting teeth, rocking in the chop. Lanterns swung from their bows. Men stood in them thick as shadows, their shapes made briefly human each time a beam or lamp hit the wrong angle. You could hear the harbour in them even from here — the same voices from the Bell, only harder now, less softened by walls and beer.
One boat gave another sharp blast on its horn. “Very subtle,” you said through chattering teeth. Daryl’s hand settled at your waist, not just affectionate now, more anchoring. “Can you stand?”
“Course I can,” you managed, squeezing your eyes to shut out the dizzying swirls. You were definitely standing straight and totally not swaying like a buoy on the sea. Below, one of the men called up toward the fort. “Kessler!” The name came back from the rocks in a ragged echo. Kessler stepped forward onto the lip of the old landing path, lantern in one hand, rifle in the other; “What?” he shouted back. “Thought I made myself fairly clear on where you men should shove it.”
That earned him a burst of overlapping replies. You couldn’t make all of it out at once. The wind took some, the water warped the rest, but the shape of it was clear enough. They wanted to talk. They wanted to know whether the pair had made it ashore. They wanted the man and woman he’d taken in. They wanted to know if anyone had been hurt. They wanted, most of all, to get control of the story before it got any farther away from them. Kessler answered by being himself. “No one is dead who didn’t try very hard to be,” he called. “Say your piece and get off my water.”
That set them off. Voices rose. One of the boats surged a little closer before another man barked something and it checked itself. It was not a raid — not yet — but it was far from peaceful. The boats circled and jostled, lanterns swinging in wind, men standing with all the brittle righteous energy of people who had convinced themselves they were here for everyone’s good.
Tom’s voice finally separated from the mess, carrying farther and cleaner than the others. “We came to make sure nobody did anything foolish.” Kessler laughed once, a sound with no humor in it whatsoever. “Then you’ve come to the wrong island.”
Another voice — Bran maybe, or Orrin, harder to tell in the wind — shouted, “You let ’em in, then?”
“They fell onto my rocks with a shoddy boat along with a dozen Hungry ones,” Kessler snapped. “Hospitality was forced upon me.”
That got a few ugly mutters. Daryl shifted beside you, shoulders squaring, every inch of him telegraphing how much he hated being talked about like freight. The voices below kept climbing and crossing one another.
“They stole from us—”
“They murdered Roger—”
“He was on watch—”
“They had no right—”
“Neither do you—” Kessler began, but Tom cut across him. “The woman doesn’t belong there.” That one rang out clean enough to cut through everything else. Daryl actually took one step forward before catching himself. “The hell she does,” he said, low but lethal. You touched his wrist once, not to calm him exactly, just to remind him where you were.
Kessler’s head turned a fraction, enough to clock that too, before he looked back down at the boats and said, “Mrs Dixon is none of your concern.” Tom either missed the mockery or was too deep into his own purpose to care. “We’re trying to keep this from becoming something uglier than it already is,” he called.
“You came armed and blowing horns in the night,” Kessler shot back. “Do explain how subtle diplomacy would’ve looked by comparison.” One of the younger men shouted something about the island not belonging to one bitter old drunk. Another yelled back that the channel wasn’t for women and never had been, which made you so tired all at once you nearly laughed. And then the whole scene — the voices, the boats, the turning light, the black water lifting and dropping under the lanterns — seemed to pull away from you by half an inch.
You blinked hard. The lantern glow on the rocks smeared wrong. Your stomach rolled with such force you thought for one awful second you were going to throw up right there over the side of St. Hale like a dramatic seabird. The pressure behind your eyes surged hotter, sharper, and this time the pain did not stay there. It spread. Up into your skull. Down your neck. Through your jaw. The chill that had been needling at your skin since the water suddenly turned feverish and wrong, heat trapped under cold, your whole body unable to decide whether to shake or burn.
Daryl felt the change before you said anything. His hand left your waist and came up to the back of your neck in the same instant your knees softened. “Hey — you still with me?” You tried to answer. What came out was a thin, breathless, “wait — hold on.”
The sound of the boats below swelled and dipped, Kessler still snapping something back at them, but all of it had gone faintly far away now, as if the island and the men and the sea had been shoved behind a thick pane of dirty glass. You could hear your own pulse too loud. Could feel the dangerous sway in your body as if some invisible tide had gotten inside you and was pulling. Daryl turned fully to you. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you said automatically, then immediately revised with desperate honesty, “Everything. I—” The nausea hit hard enough to fold you.
Daryl caught you before you made it all the way down, one arm around your middle, the other grabbing your shoulder so fast the blanket slid half off and the world lurched sideways around the force of him. Kessler wheeled at the sound; the lantern in his hand throwing the whole scene jagged and bright for one horrible second — Daryl hauling you upright against him, your face gone white even under all that salt and cold, the boats below still circling and calling like gulls around a carcass. “What happened?” Kessler barked, but Daryl stayed on you. “You gonna be sick? Baby can ya hear me? Kessler — I think she’s goin’.”
“I gather that,” Kessler said grimly. You tried to tell them both to stop talking about you like you weren’t there, but the words didn’t line up right. The pressure behind your eyes was blinding now, far worse than the little light test in the exam room, and for a second even the watercolor blur of the world seemed to pull thin and strange, brightness bleeding where there shouldn’t have been any brightness at all
Below, Tom shouted up, “What’s happenin’?” Kessler spun on him with such naked fury it was almost beautiful. “What’s happening,” he roared, “is you and your merry band of men are leaving now. And if you lot do not get the hell off my shore right now, I will start taking pieces off your beloved boats and handing them back one at a time!”
The boats did not flee. But the shouting broke, stuttered, rearranged itself into something less certain. Kessler was already back at your side, grabbing your chin, not gently, forcing your face up toward the lantern light. “Can you see?”You laughed weakly, because of course he’d ask that first. “Not really,” you answered, and that sharpened his whole face. Daryl’s voice dropped lower. Meaner. “You said she was unstable.”
“I said I needed a proper look,” Kessler snapped. “Now move.” He shoved the lantern at Daryl without waiting to see whether he caught it and got both hands on you instead, one at your wrist, one braced sharp against your spine, already turning you back toward the door. “Inside,” he said. “Now.”
You tried to obey. You really did. You took one step, then another, but the world had started lagging half a beat behind itself, the stone under your boots arriving too late, the lantern light dragging ugly bright tails across your vision, your stomach rolling so hard it felt as if the waves had somehow followed you ashore and climbed inside your ribs. Daryl had one arm around you already, Kessler was moving ahead with the lantern and swearing at both of you to hurry up, but that was something your body had abruptly opted out of. “Move,” he snapped over his shoulder. “If she’s crashing, every minute we waste out here is another one I’ll have to fight for later.” You made some sound that was supposed to mean I’m fucking trying and came out closer to a whimper.
One second your boots were scraping uselessly over wet stone, and the next Daryl had simply swept you up, one arm under your knees, the other braced hard behind your back, hauling you tight against his chest as if you weighed nothing at all. The motion jarred the pain behind your eyes so badly black spots burst across the little vision you had left, and you buried your face into the cold damp of his shoulder to try and hide from the sting. “Easy,” he muttered, though whether to you or himself was anyone’s guess. “I gotcha.”
Kessler threw the door open ahead of you and the fort swallowed you again — narrow stone corridors, lantern-light pitching wildly over walls slick with old damp, Daryl’s boots thundering down the hall while Kessler strode ahead at a pace that suggested he had long ago given up caring whether anyone else could keep up. “Worst case scenarios,” Kessler said abruptly, not slowing, the words thrown backward at Daryl as if they were discussing weather and not your body. “You should hear them now.”
Daryl’s grip on you tightened. “No.”Kessler ignored that. “If intracranial involvement is as advanced as I suspect, if the inflammatory response has become systemic, if pressure has been building unchecked, then we may be out of the realm of tidy intervention and into damage control. I may have to act aggressively and I may have to do it before I have all the information I’d prefer.”
Daryl’s voice came low and dangerous behind him. “English.” Kessler flung open the exam room door so hard it hit the wall and rebounded. “Worst case,” he said, rounding on him at last with the lantern held high, “I have to choose between preserving what vision remains and preserving her life. Worse than that, I may fail at both.”
The words hit even through the cotton-wool haze swallowing you. You tried to lift your head but the room swam. Daryl still didn’t put you down; “then don’t fail,” he bit. Kessler stared at him as Daryl rounded the exam chair with you in his arms, fury and terror braided so tight in him it was hard for him to breath right. “You hear me? I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care what you gotta cut, drain, or stitch. You save her.”
Kessler’s face did not soften. If anything, it got colder. “That is not how medicine works.” Daryl’s jaw flexed so hard you thought for one strange second you heard his teeth complain. “Lemme make this real clear. You do every damn thing you can. Every last thing. And if she dies—” He stopped, swallowed once, and the rest came out quieter, which was worse. “I don’t care if it’s your fault or not. You’re dyin’ too.”
For one suspended beat the room held that. Kessler didn’t flinch. He held Daryl’s glare for a few long moments, looked down at you half-conscious in his arms, then back up at him again, and whatever answer he might have had clearly got sorted below the level of speech, because all he said was, “Put her on the table.” The exam chair was abandoned — he meant the steel table at the far side of the room, the older one, half gurney and half operating platform, bolted under the adjustable lamp.
Daryl crossed to it in three fast strides and laid you down with a care so fierce it nearly undid you. One hand stayed under your head until the last second. The steel was shockingly cold through your damp clothes.
Kessler was moving already. Drawers. Cabinets. Locked tins. Instruments. Cloth packs. Bottles with labels too old to trust and apparently still trusted anyway. He lit two more lamps from the kitchen lantern and the room changed around you, shadows shoving back, every metal surface catching that pale gold light and throwing it harder. For the first time since entering St. Hale you could feel the shape of the place he used to be in his movements. Not the recluse, not the drunk — the doctor. Abrupt, exacting, terrifyingly alive. “Blankets off,” he snapped and Daryl stripped them away at once.
“Jacket too.” Daryl hesitated one fraction of a second before pulling his own jacket from around your shoulders. “She’s freezing,” he said.
“She’s soaked, unstable, and on the edge of something I don’t yet have a name for. I need access more than she needs your sentiment.” That should have started a fight but somehow it didn’t. Daryl shoved your jacket aside and bent over you, hands rough but careful as he got at your sleeves, your shirt clinging wetly to your skin. His fingers shook once when they caught on the hem. And even half out of it, even with your head full of knives and your stomach trying to leave your body, you noticed. Kessler thrust a folded cloth and a bottle into Daryl’s hand;“wipe from the brow down. Around the orbit. Not in it. Sterile field from forehead to cheekbones. If you contaminate anything, I’ll shoot you again and I won’t miss this time.”
Daryl gave him the kind of look most men didn’t survive long after, but still he obeyed. The cloth came cold and sharp-smelling against your face, then warmer as his hand steadied. He worked in silence for a few seconds, clearing salt and grit and God knows what else from your skin while Kessler laid out instruments with the clipped efficiency of a man arranging a battlefield. Metal kissed metal. Glass clinked. Bottles opened. Water ran in the sink behind you in a hard, echoing burst and then stopped.
You drifted — not fully under. Just away, the room fading in and out around the edges. Sometimes you caught Kessler’s voice naming things. Pressure. Pupil response. Saline. Needle. Sedation first. Sometimes you only heard Daryl breathing. Once the world narrowed all the way down to the pad of his thumb wiping the corner of your mouth clean like you were something breakable and beloved all at once. When you surfaced again, the first thing you said was, “I feel weird.” Daryl bent over you at once. “Yeah?” You blinked at the blur of him. “No, I mean, really weird.”
He made a sound that wanted to be soothing and came out wrecked. “Okay. Okay well, the doc is getting’ to work alrigh’ he’s gonna sort you out.”
Kessler appeared over one shoulder in a flare of lamplight and impatience. “That’s the plan anyway.”
“Can you not?” you murmured. “Not what?”
“Breathe near me – your breath stinks of sour tea.” That got the ghost of a smile out of Daryl, and then your own throat tightened because suddenly this all felt too final, too bright, too cold, too much like the edge of something you had not agreed to stand on. You reached for Daryl and he caught your hand before you fully had to. “Hey,” he said, and now there was no rough humour left, only him, only Daryl, every wall stripped clean. “I love you.” Your chest hurt. Not physically — worse. “I love you too,” you sniffled, because apparently that is what your sinuses did when they thought you might be dying. “I’m glad it was you in the end.” He went absolutely still. “Nah,”he said at once. “Don’t be talkin’ like that.”
You tried to smile and your face wouldn’t cooperate. “I mean it.”
“No,” he said again, fiercer now, bending closer until his forehead nearly touched yours. His hand cupped the side of your face, thumb shaking once against your cheekbone. “You ain’t dyin’, alright? You hear me? We got way too much left t’do for you t’pull some dramatic shit now.” A laugh caught in your throat and turned wet around the edges.
“I love you,” he said again, lower now, like it was being dragged straight out of the middle of him. “So much. An’ you ain’t leavin’ me here with these miserable pricks. We still got home. We still got Dog. We still got—” He broke off hard enough you felt it. “We still got us. So you shut your mouth.”
You pressed your mouth together because if you didn’t, you were going to cry, and that felt embarrassing in front of Kessler. Who, naturally, chose that exact moment to ruin everything.
“Well my heart is bleeding for you kids,” he said from somewhere to your right, completely monotone, “but I regret to inform you I need your husband elsewhere.”
Daryl snapped upright so fast the stool beside him scraped. “Hell no.” Kessler didn’t even look surprised. “Yes, you are.”
“I’m not leavin’ her with you right now.”
“The Hook men are still outside, Mr. Dixon, and unless you’d like them breaking my perimeter while I’m elbow-deep in a crisis, you are infinitely more useful to me armed and angry ready to defend this place than glowering at me from six inches away.”
Daryl took one step toward him, every line of him gone violent with refusal. “You said assess.”
“Not only am I assessing, I need to act fast — damage control Mr Dixon,” Kessler said. “What I am also doing is reminding you of the bargain you made in my kitchen before your wife‘a condition worsened.” Daryl looked like he wanted to hit him. Kessler, infuriatingly, continued. “Go to the armory.”
That made Daryl pause despite himself; Kessler saw it and pounced. “Second stairwell down, left at the split, steel door with the red wheel lock. If you have a thing for weapons then I’m sure it’s going to feel uncomfortably close to a wet dream.” Even now, even half out of your body, you nearly smiled. Daryl did not.
“Do not,” Kessler said, very pointedly, “come back in here and interrupt me unless the island is actively falling into the sea. You make sure the perimeter holds. You keep your end of the deal. I will keep mine.” Daryl looked back, and in that moment you could almost feel the war in him — every instinct he had screaming to stay, to plant himself at your side, against the colder, uglier truth that if Kessler was right and the Hook men pushed now, staying would not save you. It would only leave the island undefended and give everybody more ways to die at once.
He bent down fast and kissed you on the lips. Not soft, not nearly long. Just enough to leave the shape of him on your mouth, a promise pressed betweeen you. Your hand cupped the back of his head, trying to keep him there. “I’ll be right outside,” he said, so close you could feel his breath, and you nodded because your throat had stopped working. His hand slid once through your wet hair, then he straightened and stepped back before either of you could make it harder.
Kessler was already pulling on gloves that looked too old to inspire confidence and too well-kept to dismiss entirely. “Go,” he said. Daryl took one more look at you, long enough that you felt it all the way down, then turned and left with the kind of abruptness that only came when staying one second longer would have become impossible to leave.
The door shut behind him — the room seemed to empty out in the wrong direction. Not because Kessler became kinder. God forbid. But because the last thread of comfort went out with Daryl in the corridor, leaving only the lamps, the steel table, the old doctor on his island, and your body laid out between all your hard-won chances and whatever came next.
Kessler came to your side, checked something at your eye with brisk, unloving precision, and said, “Right. Let’s see whether all this melodrama has been worth the trip””
He did not waste breath on false reassurance. He moved with a speed that somehow made the room feel slower, if that made sense, because everything he touched became deliberate. A tray slid into place with a clean metallic whisper. Bottles were uncapped, labels checked, set back down in a strict and comprehensible order. He rolled the overhead lamp lower, adjusted one arm, then another, until its cone of light fell sharp and surgical over your face and upper chest while the corners of the room dropped deeper into shadow. Somewhere behind your head a machine came alive in stages — first a click, then a low hum, then the faint cyclical hiss of something pressurising or draining or both.
You lay on the steel table in a nest of towels and old institutional sheets, relatively dry now but only in patches, your hair spread damply beneath your head, your body caught in that ugly middle ground between fever and chill where every inch of skin felt too tight and too loud. The nausea had eased just enough to leave you weak instead of folded over. The pressure behind your eyes had not eased at all. It sat there, dense and malevolent, a hot hard swelling under the bone that made every blink feel like an argument with your own skull.
Kessler came back to your side with a folded drape over one arm and a mask hanging loose around his neck. “Try not to move,” he said. “I’m aware this is a dramatic request given the circumstances, but I do like to pretend I’m working with professionals.”
You smiled faintly. “I thought the whole point was that I’m difficult. That’s kinda how I got into this mess.”
“Which one?” he sighed, setting a small metal dish down near your shoulder, “your blindness from chemical exposure, the mess of trying to fix your eyes or the man you supposedly murdered when you stole a boat to get here?”
Jesus he really nailed it. “Uhh all of the above.”
“For the record,” he said, leaning over you with a penlight one last time, studied your pupil response in silence, then switched it off and looked at the clock on the wall. “I think that’s very cool that you did that. Rodger was a shocking human.”
“A doctor who condones murder. The hypocratic oath don’t got nothin’ on ya Kessler.”
There were gloves on his hands now, pale and tight over the bones of them, and a clean gown over his clothes, tied badly at the waist as if he’d done it one-handed and resented needing to. It should have looked absurd on him — the whisky-soaked hermit in surgical whites — but somehow it didn’t. The sloppier human edges of him had receded. Not vanished. Just tucked themselves away behind habit and focus.
“You’re pretty fortunate for someone in your situation; you still have signal. Not cleanly or properly. But something is getting through. Enough that if I can stabilise the inflammation, relieve the pressure, and debride the damaged anterior tissues without losing what’s left beneath…” He trailed off, not because he lacked the words but because he was clearly debating whether you’d benefit from hearing them.
“I hate when doctors go vague in the middle of a sentence.” He gave you a look. “I am not going vague. I am deciding how much truth a woman with her pulse in her throat and her body trying to revolt can process usefully.”
“That’s very thoughtful. A little insulting. But thoughtful.” He adjusted the drape over your chest and shoulders, leaving only your face and the upper line of your neck exposed. “Best case,” he said at last, “if your body cooperates and if the deeper structures are still viable, you may regain functional sight. Not the sight you had before ofcourse. I’m not a magician and your damage is not tidy. But functional. Enough to live in more comfortably. Enough that lenses might do real work for you afterward.”
You wet your lips. “How functional?” He hesitated, which was answer enough to raise your heart rate another notch all by itself. Then he said, “Think in terms of compromise, not perfection. Better than now by a margin worth crossing hell for. Worse than what a healthy woman would call normal.” Why can’t he answer you in normal, non-frustrating terms?
“Like glasses?” you asked. His brow twitched, mildly surprised by the practicality of that. “Almost certainly. A strong prescription. Perhaps very strong – which I doubt you could find for miles, but I’d rather you curse spectacles than darkness.” You laughed once and immediately regretted it when the pressure in your head throbbed harder. “Okay. Yeah. I could be mean to glasses.”
“There’s the spirit.” The joke passed through the room like something fragile and gone. He turned away then, checking the line he had already started in your arm while you were half out of it before, tightening the tape around it, adjusting the flow with fingers that were remembering the routine. From the tray he drew up something clear into a syringe, held it to the light, tapped the barrel once, and set it aside in a sequence that looked practiced enough to make your stomach drop for an entirely different reason. You watched him for a second and said, quieter now, “could you tell me what you’re doing?”
He glanced at you, then at the instruments. “I’m going to induce anaesthesia first, because if I try this awake you will claw my face off and then bleed to death while probably apologising sarcastically.” He turned, selected another instrument — fine, delicate, wicked-looking in exactly the way all useful medical tools are — and laid it down. “Once you’re under, I’ll irrigate thoroughly, clear the unstable and scarred superficial tissues that are distorting the surface and trapping pressure, assess what remains viable beneath, and decide in real time how aggressive I can afford to be. You have reactive scarring, probably inflammatory adhesions, likely phototoxic damage organised badly through the anterior structures, and if the reports you’ve given me are worth anything, the secondary deeper involvement I won’t fully understand until I’m in there.”
You gawked at him. Then, almost kindly for him, he added, “In plainer English: your eyes and the tissue around them have been surviving in a way I do not trust. I intend to make them survive better.”
“That was much better than the first version.”
“I shall treasure that review.” Outside, somewhere farther down in the fort, something metal slammed and voices rose, then blurred away again into distance. Kessler did not even glance at the door. You did however, and that earned you a hand at your temple, not rough, just firm enough to keep your face where he wanted it. “Mr. Dixon is not going to let the island fall over while I’m occupied.”
You swallowed. “He seemed scared.” For the first time in several minutes, Kessler’s expression shifted into something that wasn’t clinical. “Good,” he said. “That usually means they understand what matters””
There was no comfort in that. Somehow there was steadiness. He reached for the syringe. The notion of it should have panicked you more than it did. Maybe you were too tired. Maybe the terror had already burned itself too hot to stay bright. Or maybe, after all the running and bargaining and water and bullets and sea, the thought of being unconscious while somebody else dealt with the next part felt less like surrender than mercy. “Will I know if it’s worked?” you asked.
“The anesthesia?”
“The surgery.” He considered that while swabbing the line in your arm one last time. “Not immediately. But I won’t let you decide it failed because the first thing you see is a bandage and my ugly mug.”
You smiled without meaning to. He did not smile back, but his voice softened by half a grain. “If this goes well, it won’t be theatrical. It will be gradual. Frustratingly so like many things. Pain first, then less pain. Light changing. Edges behaving. The world making more sense than it did this morning.”
You stared up at the lamp. “Okay.” He touched the port of the IV line and looked at you. Really looked. “There is one more thing,” he said. Of course there was. Your laugh came out thin. “I’m not loving this sentence structure.”
“If your body turns on me mid-procedure, if the systemic component is as active as I think it is, I may have to make choices quickly. I can save tissue or preserve stability. In the ideal case I do both. In the less ideal case, I choose life first. And I don’t just mean yours — because if I lose you, your husband will definitely murder me.”
Your eyes prickled, which felt frankly unfair given everything else they were doing. “Yeah it’s apart of his charm,” you chuckled nervously. “Pretty sure he threatened to kill me when we first met, so — don’t take it too personally I guess.”
He nodded once, then the anesthesia began to flow. It didn’t hit all at once. First there was the ordinary chill of something entering the vein. Then a spreading warmth, strangely intimate and unwelcome, traveling up your arm and into your shoulder and chest. The room’s edges lost some of their hostility. The pressure in your eyes stayed, but it seemed farther away suddenly, as if it had been pushed behind glass where you could still see it but no longer had to stand quite so close.
Kessler moved around you in slow, competent tides. Mask adjusted. Drapes smoothed. The overhead lamp lowered another inch. Something cool painted in widening circles around your eyes and cheekbones and brow, sharp with antiseptic, the scent clean enough to make the whole room smell briefly like another era.
Your tongue felt bigger than usual. You watched him through the blur and said, “You know what’s funny?”
“Almost certainly not.”
“I thought I was pregnant.”
That did get a reaction. Not a dramatic one. Just a pause. His gloved hand stilling over a packet he was opening, his eyes lifting to yours with an expression so unexpectedly human it almost hurt. You gave a weak, drugged laugh. “Turns out I was just… dying. Which feels embarrassing in a different way.”
“That is not the takeaway I would encourage.”
“Still. Kind of rude of my body. Very mixed signals.” The sedative warmth was pulling harder now, softening the walls, stretching the distance between one heartbeat and the next. Kessler came back into focus above you, and for a moment the lines in his face changed around the mouth and eyes in a way that made him look not younger, exactly, but less armoured.
“My wife and I, we wanted children,” he said, busying his hands with a clamp that did not seem to require that much attention. “For a while. It never happened.” He looked annoyed to have begun at all, which was strangely comforting because at least one person in the room was behaving normally.
You didn’t know what to do with that except hold still and listen. “She used to say the body was a treacherous narrator,” he went on, voice dry again but thinner under it somehow. “Always telling stories before the facts were in. Most of them lies. Some of them hopes dressed badly.”
The room swayed softly around you. “That’s…” You tried to smile. “Actually very profound for such a hostile old man.”
“She’d be appalled I said anything sentimental at all.” You wanted to ask where she had gone. Whether he had looked for her. Whether he still did, in the guilty ruined parts of himself he tried to sand down with whisky and routines and old machines. But the drugs were climbing higher now and the questions felt too heavy to lift.
Instead you whispered, “She sounds nice.” Kessler adjusted the lamp again, making the light bloom gold-white above you. “She had appalling taste in husbands.”
You smiled at that. Or thought you did — the room was getting farther away. Voices outside now were only shapes. The sea a pulse inside the stone. Your own body, which had been all knives and nausea and cold, was turning into weight and warmth and lagging thought.
Kessler leaned over you one last time, checking your pupils again, his face a blurred stern shape against the surgical lamp. “I need you under fully for this,” he said. “What I’m doing is too fine, too dangerous, and too unforgiving to trust to bravery. So no last-minute heroics, no clever remarks, and no waking up halfway through to tell me how badly I’m doing. Understood?”
You tried to salute and got about halfway to lifting two fingers before gravity argued successfully. “Understood,” you mumbled.
He glanced once toward the shut door, then back at you. “For what it’s worth, Mrs. Dixon, I do not think you are going to die today.” You let out a breath that might have been relief and might have been exhaustion. “Great,” you whispered. “That would’ve been so awkward after all this.”
His mouth twitched again. Then he reached up, adjusted the mask over your nose and mouth, and said, in the last clear corner of the world, “Breathe.”
The smell was sterile and strange and not quite sweet. The lamps blurred. The pain receded by inches. The old fort drifted farther and farther away, all its grudges and tides and armed men and impossible hopes slipping loose at the edges, until there was nothing left but the sound of your own breathing and the murmur of Kessler somewhere above you, already speaking to the sleeping body you were becoming as if it were a puzzle worth solving.
——————————————
By the time Daryl found the armoury, he was so full of cold rage it was almost useful.
Kessler hadn’t lied. The steel door at the end of the lower corridor, the one with the red wheel lock and the warped little stencil that still read AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY in chipped black paint, opened onto the kind of room that would have made any scavenger with half a survival instinct and no moral centre briefly consider religion. Shelves ran floor to ceiling, all of them crowded and labeled with the tidy, hard-edged handwriting of a man who trusted no one but numbers. Ammunition tins. Rifles wrapped in oiled cloth. Sidearms in foam-lined trays. Grenades in old military crates with their stencilled warnings half-worn away. Coils of wire. Flares. Flashlights. Spare magazines banded together with yellowing tape. A rack of old rain capes. Boxes of shotgun shells stacked by gauge. Even a couple of sealed cases marked with chemical hazard symbols Daryl stayed away from. He stood in the doorway for half a second and thought, What the hell kinda doctor is this?
He moved fast, but not sloppy. That was the thing about panic with Daryl: it didn’t make him wild first. It made him exact. He took what he knew, what he could carry, what fit his hands. Sidearm, extra magazines, a rifle he checked by instinct and discarded for one that balanced better. A bandolier of shells. Two grenades after a long, distrustful look at the crate. Two flare guns, a roll of thin wire from the engineering shelf and one old pair of binoculars because why the hell not. He shrugged into a heavier field jacket hanging from a peg and found the pockets already stocked with things Kessler apparently considered normal beachwear: gloves, zip ties, a multitool, a half-used pencil, three loose cartridges, and a folded map of the island with ugly little X marks at the lower paths.
Looking at the map, the island was a lot smaller than it felt, but not simple. Main fort above. Kitchen and old medical wing here. Service stairs here. Lower path down to the beach and the old landing. A second narrow goat-track on the lee side. Fuel shed. Generator annex. Retaining wall. A path toward the old signal tower. Two points marked in red grease pencil: NARROW APPROACH and DO NOT LET HOOK BREACH TO LOWER WING. Daryl stared at that last line for a second and felt something ugly settle in his chest. This wasn’t paranoia for sport. This old fuck had been expecting a siege for years. If he’d built for one, Daryl could work with that.
He pocketed the map, slung the rifle, and headed back up with the wire.
The path from the fort to the beach wasn’t much more than a scar cut into the rock, narrow enough in places that two men coming opposite directions would have to decide real quick which one of them were more expendable. On one side jagged stone shoulder rose slick with salt. On the other, the ground dropped toward black surf and ugly teeth of rock waiting below. In daylight it was probably difficult. At night, under a turning lighthouse beam and weather gone mean, it was a broken neck in instalments. Perfect.
Daryl crouched near the tightest bend and went to work in the dark with hands that didn’t need much light for this kind of thing. He tied the wire low at first, ankle-height, taut between an iron ring pounded into old stone and a rusted stanchion half-buried in lichen. Then higher, chest-height on the inside corner where someone rushing uphill would hit it just wrong. He ran another short line through a gap in the rock and fixed it to a flare canister angled down the path. Not enough to kill. Enough to blind, panic, and make men bunch up exactly where bad footing and black water might do the rest. He checked each one twice. Pulled, tightened, retied, then yanked the last knot hard enough to bite his palm. The sea below boomed and hissed against stone like it was listening.
Daryl came down the last stretch of rock with the rifle low in his hands and stopped where the surf broke white and angry a few feet short of his boots. The beach below St. Hale was little more than a hard slant of wet stone and shingle, black with seawater and slick under the turning beam from Widow Light. The boats rose and dropped on the swell, close enough together to look like one ragged floating thing from a distance, but near enough now that Daryl could read the fault lines in them. Engines idled low on some; others drifted under oar. Men stood packed dark against the lamps, shoulders hunched into coats, caps pulled low faces, coming and going in strips of yellow light. He didn’t raise his voice when he spoke. “That’s far enough.” The words carried flat over the water like seafog.
The nearest boat drifted another foot in on a swell before someone checked it with an oar. Voices muttered across the crescent, low and quick. A hand lifted and fell. Tom was the one who answered first still in the front, still trying to wear authority like it wasn’t slipping; his voice carrying that same worn-out patience he’d had in the Bell, though there was less of it now and less reason to trust it. “This isn’t your fight, Dixon.”
Daryl stood on the wet black stone where the beach narrowed to nothing and the sea hissed around the rocks at his feet like it wanted in on the conversation. His boots were already soaked at the edges. Wind kept trying to shoulder through his coat and flatten it against him, bringing salt and diesel and fish rot off the water. Behind him, St. Hale rose blind and dark, all stone and old angles and secrets, the fort’s bulk cutting a heavier shape into the night. Somewhere up there, beyond wall and corridor and lamplight, you were under Kessler’s hands. That alone had him standing where he was.
He shifted the rifle in his grip, not enough to aim it, just enough that lantern light caught on dull metal and let the boats remember it was there. “It is now.”
That moved through them. Not fear — more a little tightening in the line, a collective awareness that whatever game they had rowed out here expectingto play, he was not going to play it their way. “We want to speak to Kessler,” Tom called. “Tough shit,” Daryl said, his voice flatter than the wind. “You’re speakin’ to me. Turn around. Row home. ’Fore someone gets hurt.”
A younger man in the second boat over — Declan, Daryl thought, though he didn’t much care if he had the right idiot — straightened at that like the insult had lifted him by the throat. Another muttered something too low to catch. Oars clicked softly against gunwales as a couple of the boats corrected themselves on the chop. “Where is he?” somebody called. “Where’s Kessler?”
“Busy.” That earned him a wave of agitation that traveled quick and ugly from one boat to the next. A few heads turned. Someone swore. Then another voice, farther left and sharper with it, came over the water. “Where’s the woman?” Several of them leaned in before they could help it. Even the men who had been trying to keep their faces neutral stopped looking at Daryl and started looking past him, up toward the black shoulder of the fort. It was not simple curiosity. It wasn’t concern the way decent people meant concern — it had too much wanting in it, too much ownership, too much of that warped protective instinct that had nothing to do with simple respect. Daryl hated it on sight. “Busy too,” he said. “And it ain’t any o’ ya business.”
Tom’s head came up. “Busy how?” Daryl should have lied. Knew it the second the question left Tom’s mouth. But he was cold and angry and too distracted by the thought of you being somewhere behind him with an old bastard cutting into your eyes while these men had the nerve to act like they’d been invited into the problem. “Kessler’s operatin’.”
The crescent of boats tightened all at once. Not one dramatic motion, which would have been easier to read and answer, but a rough little contraction of men and wood and water: lanterns rocking harder, hulls knocking softly together, faces turning toward one another, voices tripping over themselves in a low surge of disbelief. One curse rose clean above the rest. Somebody said Christ Almighty like it was both accusation and prayer. Bran’s head snapped up. Orrin went so still his whole boat seemed steadier for it. “On her?” Someone called.
Who the fuck else? Daryl didn’t answer, which was answer enough. One of the younger men barked out a laugh that was really just nerves put on loudspeaker. “He actually let her in there?” Another voice cut through it, rougher and uglier. “You let him put his hands on her?”
That one made Daryl’s temper flash white for a second. He stepped one pace nearer the edge of the wash, boots grinding against slick stone, and gave the line of boats a long, flat look. “Y’all real interested in ma wife,” he said, “for people I met three hours ago.” Several faces changed. Not guilt exactly. Not shame either. More that blank, ugly flicker of men realising they had let the thing under the thing show for half a second and now had to either own it or hide it better.
“Nobody here means her harm,” Tom said at last, and he said it calmly enough that another man, in another place, might almost have believed him. The words carried over the chop in one clean piece, slipping between the hiss of the surf and the knock of hulls against one another, but calm was cheap at a distance, and Daryl was sick of the soft voice act to dress up an ugly intention. He kept his eyes on Tom. “That supposed to comfort me?” Tom shifted his weight in the boat, one hand still braced on the gunwale, lantern-light cutting the creases beside his mouth deeper than they had looked in the Bell. “It’s supposed to tell you we’re not the enemy.””
That got the smallest movement out of Daryl — not a laugh, not even a smile, just the faintest tightening at one corner of his mouth, the expression a man wore when someone had insulted him by underestimating how closely he’d been paying attention. He let his gaze move over them slowly, taking in wet wool coats, old rope, callused hands curled on oars and rails, the uneasy jostle of boats riding too close together in bad water. Six men to one hull in places, shoulders knocking with every lift of the sea. Faces going pale and gold and then dark again whenever Widow Light swept around and washed over the crescent before moving on. Looking past Tom he saw Orrin farther off, set like a man who had rowed out here against his better judgment and now had to live with that fact. Bran with his eyes too often lowered, one hand resting on the side of his boat like he trusted timber more than the men packed in around him. The younger ones hot-faced and too upright, full of that dangerous certainty that only ever belonged to men who had not yet paid enough for their convictions.
“You rowed out here in the dark,” Daryl said, his voice flat enough to take the wind right out of the air between them, “in shit weather, six deep to a boat, after one of yours put hands on her and the rest of you stood there tellin’ yourselves bedtime stories about why that shit was normal.” He hitched the rifle a little higher on his shoulder, not threatening with it, just reminding them it was there. “Didn’t buy your shit then. Ain’t startin’ now.”
One of the boys — Declan, the loud one, all sharp elbows and loose temper — shifted like he wanted to spit something back immediately and was waiting to see whether one of the older men would give him permission to be stupid. Tom’s mouth tightened. Orrin’s jaw worked once. Bran looked down at the dark slosh collecting in the bottom of his boat as if he had suddenly found it fascinating.
“If we’d stayed in Hook,” he said, “you really gonna stand there and tell me she’d’ve still just been a guest by mornin’?”
Nobody answered him. The sea shouldered at the hulls. Somewhere out beyond the lantern line a buoy bell gave one lonely thunk into the wind and let the sound die there. Wet ropes creaked. A lamp chimed against a metal hook. The men in the boats looked like what they were now that the politeness had been peeled off them — not villains in a story, not one-minded monsters, just a roomful of bad decisions spread out over water, too many years of isolation and grief and superstition and want hardened into one ugly shape and rowed out under cover of darkness. Daryl tipped his head a fraction. “Yeah,” he said. “Thought so.”
Declan spat over the side. “You don’t know a damn thing.” The relief in him at finally getting to sound like himself was so obvious it almost would have been funny in another life. His whole face sharpened around it, every trace of restraint gone. Tom snapped his name low and warning, but the boy had found his courage now that it was standing shoulder to shoulder with twenty-nine other men, and courage borrowed that cheaply was always the loudest kind. “Fine,” Declan called across the water, voice carrying bright and hard. “You want plain? I’ll give you plain.”
Tom tried again. “Declan—” But Declan was past listening, and that told Daryl plenty all by itself. Not that the boy had slipped his leash. That nobody in the boats was actually trying very hard to pull him back. “You and her,” Declan said, jabbing a gloved hand toward Daryl, “you’re the ones made us stop messin’ around.”
That held the whole line still for a beat. Even the older men let him have the floor, and that said more than the words did. Declan laughed once, ugly and overbright with it, the sound of a man getting off on finally saying the bad thing in full. “You kill one of ours, take a boat like it’s just a simple fact of life, row straight past every warning we’ve been tellin’ ourselves for years, and what’re we meant to do with that? Pretend we didn’t see it? Pretend there’s still time for half-measures?”
He spread his arms toward the dark bulk of St. Hale behind Daryl, the fort rising black and mute above the beach, old stone and shuttered windows and hidden rooms full of things men had wanted for too long. “You showed us what it takes to get what we want,” he said. “So now we’re done askin’. We’re takin’ the island.”
No folklore draped over it. No worried concern. No tavern manners or church-bell decency. Just appetite, clean and open and uglier for being honest. Tom shut his eyes briefly like the admission itself embarrassed him, but he didn’t deny it. Bran muttered, “Jesus Christ,” into his beard, though whether it was prayer, disgust, or simple fatigue was anyone’s guess. Orrin said nothing at all, which by now was practically a confession. Declan pushed on, flushed with the freedom of getting the truth outside his own teeth. “Kessler’s one lunatic on one rock. He don’t get to keep all that forever just because he’s meaner than the rest of us. You’d be wise to step aside.”
Daryl looked over them one by one again. Tom, who still wanted to believe there was some version of this that would let him sleep when it was over. Orrin, standing waist-deep in a tide he’d helped call in and already regretting the temperature. Bran, too tired for surprise and too implicated for innocence. Declan and the rest of the boys, hot with righteousness and not enough life behind them yet to know fear when it was standing right in front of them. And the others, the ones who had not said the worst of it aloud and had rowed out all the same. “So that’s it,” Daryl said. “That’s the plan.”
Nothing. The wind came hard off the water just then and flattened his coat against his back, shoving lamp flames sideways and making every hull in the crescent knock restlessly against the next. Widow Light rolled over them again in one slow, glacial sweep, bleaching faces, ropes, lantern glass, the pale undersides of hands braced on wet gunwales, and in that brief wash of white Daryl saw all of it together — fear, hunger, loneliness, piety, entitlement — all knotted up until none of them could tell one from the next anymore. When he spoke again, his voice had dropped lower, rougher, all the more dangerous for how little effort it carried. “You know what I think?” He said, waiting for them to be hanging on his word. “I think if we’d stayed in Hook, by mornin’ you’d have had some neat lil reason why she couldn’t leave.” His eyes found Tom first, then Orrin, then Bran, holding each of them just long enough to make looking away feel like exactly what it was. “Water ain’t right. Boat ain’t safe. Better let her rest. Better get my ass gone. Better keep her here, where you can all tell yourselves you’re doin’ right by her.” His mouth twisted, not quite a smile and nowhere near friendly. “And every last one of you would’ve slept just fine after callin’ it protection.”
Tom looked like he’d swallowed something spoiled. Orrin’s jaw worked once and stopped. Bran fixed on the slosh in the bottom of his boat with such fierce concentration it might have held his reflection captive there. The younger ones bristled immediately, but the older men — the older men looked tired. Cornered. Seen in a light they had not chosen. Finally Tom said, quieter now, “It wouldn’t have been like that.”
Daryl gave him a look so openly disbelieving it edged all the way into contempt. “Bullshit.”
One of the older men tried to recover something of his own dignity, voice fraying under the need to hear himself as decent. “You don’t understand what Hook is.”
Daryl’s answer came easy. “I do” he said. “That’s the problem. Places like yours — they don’t work. I’ve seen it. You just keep tellin’ yurselves it does.” And for a second there was nothing but the sea, the lanterns, and thirty men hearing themselves being described too accurately to pretend it wasn’t spot on.
At the outer edge of the crescent, while every face stayed fixed on Daryl — some angry, some ashamed, some no longer bothering to hide how badly they wanted what sat behind him — a smaller skiff loosened itself from the line. No one announced it; it simply drifted free under cover of the argument and the dark, four men low in the hull, oars wrapped to keep from knocking, no lamp to throw them back into the story. The sea took them quietly and began to turn them around the black shoulder of St. Hale toward the lee side, where the service approach kissed the rock and the fort’s old bones met the water in a place no one was meant to use politely.
Daryl didn’t see it. What he saw was Tom still trying to hold the center of a thing that had already slipped past him, still shaping his mouth around reason as if reason had not already rowed out and armed itself. “We’re givin’ you a chance,” Tom said.
“Nah,” he said. “You’re givin’ yourselves one.” He planted himself harder in the wet stone, shifted the rifle in his hands, and let the boats feel the finality of him. “Last chance,” he said. “Row away now.”
Tom held his gaze a long moment, all his tired reason worn down to the nub. “Dixon,” he said at last, “be smart.”
Daryl’s eyes narrowed. “Should take your own advice.”
The boats rocked restlessly on the chop. Widow Light turned and washed over them all again, colder this time, leaving the lanterns looking smaller when it moved on. In that brief flare of white Daryl caught one more thing — not the missing skiff, not yet, but the way Bran kept glancing, not at him, but past him and up toward the fort, like a man waiting for a sign from somewhere else. Waiting for the next move in a game he was already too deep in to pretend he wasn’t playing
———————————
The little skiff came around the lee side of St. Hale with all the grace of a bad idea trying not to splash. The four men in it sat lower than they needed to, shoulders hunched into the dark as if stealth were something you could compensate for by looking personally offended at the water. At the bow, Seamus — who had appointed himself leader of this venture mostly because he was the loudest and had once repaired a diesel engine in a storm and never let anyone forget it — rowed with the irritable, punishing strokes of a man convinced the sea was misbehaving specifically to annoy him.
Behind him, Niall and Pádraig took turns being useless in subtly different ways. Niall, broader and pinker, had the eager breathing of someone who had never once in his life snuck up on anybody successfully and thought this might be the night he developed the talent. Pádraig, who looked enough like him in the dark that people often called them the wrong names and eventually stopped apologising, kept gripping and re-gripping the boat hook as if he expected to fight the entire island personally with a stick and optimism.
At the stern, Liam wished with growing sincerity that he had broken a leg at supper. Not because he was soft exactly. Just because he possessed the rare and deeply inconvenient quality of forethought. Everything about this had felt wrong from the moment they’d pushed off — too dark, too cold, too much rock and too little plan — and the sight of St. Hale looming up out of the water now, all wet black stone and old walls and narrow lights, had done absolutely nothing to improve his mood. “This is madness,” he whispered, for what had to be the eighth time.
Seamus didn’t bother looking back. “No, it’s initiative.”
“It’s gonna become a tragedy if you scrape that hull any louder,” Liam hissed. Niall turned his head. “You said not to talk.”
“I said not to talk loud,” Liam muttered. “There’s a difference, Christ.” Pádraig leaned past him just enough to stage-whisper, “I can smell chemicals.”
“Wonderful,” Liam said. “Maybe they’ll fix your brain while we’re at it.”
The skiff kissed stone with a dull little bump under the old service landing, and all four of them froze as if the island might shout back. The surf boomed somewhere lower down. Wind hissed over rock. Farther around the island, voices still rose and fell from the front standoff, too distant here to make out words, just enough noise to prove the distraction was holding. Seamus tied off badly and climbed out first. “Move,” he breathed.
The service approach was less a path than a habit worn into the island by years of one man doing things the hard way rather than admitting he needed help. Wet stone steps cut into the rock. Iron handholds rusted and salt-eaten. A narrow service door above, lamplight leaking faint and gold around its edges. Liam looked at that light and felt his stomach sag. “This is where we die.”
“No,” Seamus said. “This is where we win.”
Behind him, Niall tripped on nothing and caught himself on Pádraig’s shoulder hard enough to make them both grunt.
Liam shut his eyes for one patient second. “Yeah right,” he murmured. “Because thi is the dream team alright.”
The service door wasn’t locked properly. That should have felt lucky. Instead it felt like the sort of luck men only noticed later while describing the first in a long chain of mistakes.
Seamus eased it open with one hand on the latch and the other curled around the knife at his belt. The door gave with a soft complaint of old hinges. Warmth drifted out. Light too. Along with the smell of alcohol, boiled metal, damp, and something sharper beneath it that made Liam’s skin pebble all over again. “Blood,” he whispered.
“Very observant,” Pádraig muttered.
Inside, St. Hale felt larger than it had from the water and somehow more intimate, which Liam disliked on principle. Narrow corridors of old stone and patched plaster. Lamps lit low. A floor swept recently enough that dust didn’t soften every footfall. Somewhere deeper in, a door stood open and a man was humming to himself. All four of them stopped.
It wasn’t a cheerful hum exactly. It was absentminded, tuneless, content in the eerie way of someone deeply occupied and perfectly at home in his own little kingdom. The sound drifted down the corridor, broke once on the edge of a wall, then came back clearer. Seamus mouthed, Kessler.
Niall mouthed back, for no useful reason, Kessler. Pádraig nodded to himself as if this had added value. Liam considered walking back to the boat and allowing the rest to say whatever they liked. Instead he followed them.
They crept past a half-open storeroom first, and Niall, whose eye for the important thing had always favoured the immediately shiny over the strategically wise, gasped and darted sideways. “
What?” Seamus whispered furiously. Niall emerged two seconds later holding up a pistol like he had personally invented firearms. Liam stared at him. “Where was that, then?”
“Cabinet.” Pádraig leaned in to peer. “Only one? Where’s mine?”
“Mostly empty,” Niall whispered. “Ammo too. Barely anything.”
Pádraig attempted to snatch that pistol from Niall, hissing that he was a better shot, to which Niall snorted ‘the hell you are’ and the tug of war was only stopped when seamus slapped both of them on the back of the head. “The hell is wrong with you idiots?”
“Don’t open that can of worms,” Liam chided.
Sighing, Seamus motioned to keep going. “Ya that’s it then he must’ve moved the rest the.”
Liam, who was the only one among them capable of thinking two thoughts in sequence, wondered privately whether maybe the hillbilly on the rocks had done that rather than Kessler, but no one had asked him and he had no intention of improving the evening by becoming useful.
The humming stopped. All four men went rigid.
Then came the sound of metal being set down, cloth moving, the squeak of rubber wheels or some old trolley, and Kessler’s voice, muttering to himself in the next room with the intimate irritation of a man who worked better alone and knew it. “Well, it looks like I’ve still got it…”
Seamus looked at the others, eyes bright and ugly with the thrill of a plan succeeding farther than it had any right to. Now.
The exam room lay open ahead of them, warm and bright in a way the rest of the island wasn’t. Steel table under a lamp. Trays. Bottles. Towels. You on the table bandaged and still and very clearly out cold, pale under the wash of light and wrapped in a blanket somebody had only half managed to tuck around you. Kessler stood beside you with a chart in one hand and a cloth in the other, turned half away as he prepared to move you somewhere else.
For one tiny impossible second, the whole thing looked so absurdly workable that none of them moved. Then Niall whispered, in genuine wonder, “Holy shit.”
That ruined the elegance of it somewhat. Kessler half-turned, annoyed first and alarmed only a fraction later, which was all the fraction Seamus needed. He lunged. Pádraig followed half a beat behind, boat hook abandoned, knife out and wobbling in a grip nobody in the room should have trusted.
It was not a good ambush but with a bit of dumb luck it was a successful one.
Kessler got one elbow into Seamus’s ribs, one furious, “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” and then Pádraig’s knife was at his throat and Niall, to his eternal surprise, had not dropped the pistol yet.
Liam reached the doorway last and stopped there, because by then the room had already become one of those situations where more people inside only made the geometry worse.
Kessler froze — not with fear exactly. More with the insult of a very intelligent man being briefly outnumbered by idiots.
For one glorious, terrible second, all four of them just stared at you on the table. Pádraig swallowed audibly. “She’s really out.”
“Thank every saint in the county,” Liam breathed. “If she’d been awake this would’ve gone very differently.” Niall, still holding the pistol like it might bite him, looked from you to Kessler and back again with naked amazement. “We actually did it.” Seamus straightened a little, chest going out under his coat as victory arrived in him all at once and found a place to live. “Course we did.”
Kessler’s voice came out dry against the knife. “You four have the tactical subtlety of a kicked wasp nest.”
Pádraig pressed the blade a little closer, enough to nick skin. “Don’t get smart.”
“My apologies,” Kessler said. “I forgot about the significant IQ gap between me and you four.”
Seamus ignored that and stepped toward the table. You looked smaller unconscious than you had on the rocks or back at the Hook. Not weak, exactly. Just stripped of all the talking and glaring and fight that had made half of Widow’s Hook lose its collective mind in under an hour. Bandages were wrapped clean around your eyes and upper face. Your mouth had gone slack with whatever Kessler had used to keep you under. There was a line in your arm. Medical tape. A blanket. The whole thing made Liam feel, for the first time, a sharp little jab of this may in fact be a terrible plan.
Seamus did not share that hesitation. He bent, got both hands under you, and grunted in irritation when nothing about lifting an unconscious person felt how it looked in his head. “She heavier asleep or something?”
“Or maybe you are just really weak,” Liam muttered, grinning when Seamus shot him a glare. Niall shoved the pistol into his own belt and helped, and between the two of them they got you up in a rough, graceless bundle and then onto Seamus’s shoulder like a sack of grain.
Kessler made an actual noise of outrage. “Careful with her, you moron.”
That checked them just enough that Seamus adjusted his grip. “What?”
“I was operating on her ten minutes ago,” Kessler snapped. “If you tear anything or drop her on the floor, I’ll kill you before he does.”
It was pretty obvious who Kessler meant by ‘he’.The fact that he said it with complete sincerity gave all four men pause. Liam, who had no business being the reasonable one here and resented it, said, “Maybe don’t swing her around, then.”
“Thank you, Mr. Foley,” Kessler said acidly. “A rare triumph for common sense.”
Liam blinked. “How d’you know my name?”
“I knew your dad. Your prominent chin and roman nose gave it away.”
A loaded quiet settled and for some reason that boosted morale in exactly the wrong man.
Seamus gave a sharp little laugh and hauled the woman higher over his shoulder, trying and failing to look natural with a sedated patient and a knife-point hostage in the same room. “Well boys,” he said, “looks like the island’s ours already.” Pádraig grinned in the ugly, breathless way of a man who had not expected to get this far and was now trying to behave like it had always been inevitable.
Niall was already halfway into the future. “Can you imagine their faces when they see this?” he said. “You hear the horn? Whole Hook’s gonna lose its damn mind.”
Kessler rolled his eyes toward the ceiling with the exhausted bitterness of a man who had once held medical licenses and now apparently held conversations like this. “Please tell me none of you are breeding.”
Liam made a strangled sound that might have been a laugh in a more forgiving world.Seamus jerked his head toward the door. “Move.”
When kessler didn’t, Pádraig pressed the blade again, nervous enough now that the tip wobbled. “Move,” he repeated.
“Oh, I heard you the first time,” Kessler said. “I was simply taking a moment to be disappointed.” He moved this time.
Out into the corridor. Down the service stairs. Niall behind him with the pistol held in an alarming approximation of competence, Pádraig glued to Kessler’s shoulder with the knife, Seamus carrying you, still unconscious, and breathing like he had just personally towed a whale ashore, Liam at the back wondering whether there was still time to defect to a monastery.
The descent was not graceful.
Seamus nearly clipped your head on the stone once and got such a vicious hiss of “Watch her, you subhuman anchor” from Kessler that even Pádraig looked embarrassed. Niall almost dropped the pistol down the stairs.
Liam caught the back of Seamus’s coat when he slipped on the last wet step and thought, not for the first time that night, it is honestly incredible that any of us are still alive.
“Jesus Christ give her to me,” Liam groaned, not waiting to hear Seamus’ response. He took you in his arms, keeping your head up this time. He heard Kessler let put a sigh of relief and Seamus practically cringe when he saw that Liam barely acknowledged your wait. “Well, that’s hardly fair cuz your younger and…” he grumbled and trailed off, trying to hold onto his masculinity with a slipping grip.
But they made it to the skiff. The sea took them back with a slap and rock and the little boat dipped dangerously under the combined weight of victory, hostage, old doctor, and human error. Seamus and Liam settled you in the center on a heap of tarps and rope with all the tenderness of dockworkers unloading timber. Kessler was shoved in after her and very nearly pushed overboard, which would have been funny if he hadn’t recovered by grabbing Niall by the front of his coat and using him to stay upright. “Marvelous,” he said. “Kidnapped by amateurs.”
Niall peeled his hand off with injured dignity. “Oh like you could do better old man.”
Pádraig untied the line with the speed of someone who had just remembered there was still a rifleman waiting on the far side of the island. Niall, drunk on success now, actually laughed as he took up the oars. “Can you believe this?”
“No,” Liam said honestly.
Seamus looked toward the dark curve of the main beach where the rest of the Hook boats still circled and shouted and waited. “Get us around. Fast.”
As the skiff turned, the men were already talking over one another, flushed and wild and half-dazed by the fact that their stupid ‘plan’ had somehow produced exactly what they wanted. The woman. Kessler. The island, effectively, once the others saw proof enough. “Told you,” Niall was saying. “Told you he’d have her inside.”
“Didn’t tell us you’d near shoot your own foot getting in,” Liam muttered. Pádraig grinned into the dark. “Wait till they see.”
“Wait till Kerrigan hears,” Seamus said, satisfaction roughening his voice. “Wait till every stubborn bastard in Hook sees we did what none of them had the guts to do.”
Kessler, seated on the bottom boards with his wrists pinned awkwardly in Niall’s line of sight, glanced at the you beside him and then up at Seamus with a look of almost paternal pity. “You know,” he said, “for men declaring victory, you are all astonishingly bad at this.”
Seamus turned. “Shut up.”
“By all means. It will improve the quality of the operation.”
Pádraig actually snorted. Liam looked at him in disbelief. “Are you laughing with the hostage?”
“I’m not laughing with him,” Pádraig said. “I’m laughing at him.”
“Reassuring distinction,” Kessler murmured. Then the skiff rounded the rock enough that the front crescent of boats came back into view, lanterns bobbing, voices carrying. Seamus grabbed the horn at the bow. For one heartbeat he held it there, savouring the moment with the full, ridiculous pride of a man who had never gotten to be the centre of anything before and fully intended to enjoy it now that it had stumbled into his lap.
Then he blew, the horn splitting the night wide open.
Every boat in the crescent turned toward it at once. Daryl felt the sound go through him before he understood it, not just because it was loud but because it was wrong. Not the uncertain blare of men trying to intimidate from the dark, not one more blast in the ugly rhythm of the standoff, but something cleaner. Sharper. A signal. A call meant to say it’s done.
Daryl watched Tom’s face change in the lantern-light, not with triumph exactly, but with the grim settling of someone who had been waiting on a result and just got one. The last of the peacemaker’s strain fell off him. What remained looked older and meaner. “Well,” Tom called across the water, voice carrying clean now that the waiting was over, “we gave you your chance.”
The rifle in Daryl’s hands felt suddenly too light. Tom spread his hands, not apologetic, not placating anymore. Just final. “We’re taking the island. That’s the only outcome o’ this now.” That moved through the boats around him, a dark little stiffening, men straightening with the relief of no longer having to pretend they were here to talk. “There’s thirty of us,” one of the younger men shouted. “What’d you think was gonna happen?”
The lanterns moved on the chop, flashing yellow off wet hulls and rope and faces gone ugly with expectation, and somewhere in the split second after the horn and before Tom’s words had finished settling, Daryl’s eyes found the gap.
One skiff missing. His stomach dropped clean and hard. Then it came around the black shoulder of the island. The boat showed itself slowly, first only a shape moving wrong against the water, then a lantern catching one side, then the blunt little horror of what rode in it. Kessler, tied and shoved low in the hull. And you. Bandaged. Bound. Slumped in a heap of blanket and rope like something dragged half-finished out of a grave.
For one bright, vicious second the whole beach lost its shape. The boats, the burning lanterns, Tom’s voice still trying to sound like reason in the middle of all this — all of it dropped away under the single brutal fact of you. Tied; bandaged; slumped in the middle of that skiff like something stolen out of a church.
“Dixon—” Tom started, but Daryl had already raised the rifle.
“Let her go.” He didn’t shout it — didn’t need to. The words came out stripped flat by the cold and the fear and the sudden, suffocating precision of a man whose whole world had just narrowed to one moving target.
The men in the skiff jolted at the sound of it. The boat itself rocked under their surprise, lantern-light jumping across wet wood and rope and the pale, awful line of your bandages. Seamus — red-faced, breathless, ugly with the thrill of getting this far alive — grabbed you by the arm and hauled you half upright with all the care of a butcher yanking meat onto a block.
Your head tipped back uselessly. Even from the shore, Daryl could see how wrong your body looked in his hands. Too loose. Drugged or fading or both. “Stand down!” Seamus shouted, voice cracking around the command because it was easier to sound like a leader when a knife was involved. Daryl’s rifle didn’t waver. “You let her go right now.”
In the same skiff, the other one — Niall, Daryl thought dimly, though if he got the right idiot or not didn’t matter — fumbled the gun into something like a threat and pointed it wildly in Kessler’s direction, as if to prove they had more than one bad idea between them and all of them were loaded wrong. Tom’s voice came over the water, lower now, trying to force order back into a situation that had already slipped its leash. “Put it down, Dixon. Nobody needs to die.”
Debatable. Daryl barely heard him. All he could see was the rope biting your wrists. The angle of your neck. The fact that you still weren’t moving enough. He took one slow step farther into the wash, freezing water breaking white around his boots. “I said let her go, asshole.”
Seamus’s grin sharpened. He shoved the knife up under your jaw, the blade catching lantern-light as it kissed skin. “Sure,” he called. “Just lower your gun and I’ll set her down nice and gentle.”
Daryl’s finger settled harder against the trigger. His whole body had gone cold and exact in a way he hated, every possible shot opening and closing in his head too fast to keep. Knife hand. Shoulder. Lantern. Hull. Seamus through the ribs. Niall in the throat. Tom in the chest if he moved wrong. But not one of them clean enough. Not one of them safe enough. Not with you right there in the middle of every angle.
He knew they wouldn’t slit your throat — he was confident in that, though how far he was willing to bet on it he wasn’t sure. These bastards were too twisted up in whatever they thought you were to kill you clean. But obsession did not make them harmless. And it did not tell him how far stupidity might go once cornered and given an audience.
You were floating somewhere ugly and shallow when the voices started reaching you properly. Not the sea first — though that was there too, cold under everything, rocking and slapping and hissing at the sides of the boat — but voices, too loud and too far away at once, as if someone had buried the world in wool and then started shouting over it. Your body hurt in strange, disconnected places. Your face felt tight and heavy. Your head swam every time you tried to understand where up was.
You were cold — that came through cleanest. Cold under your clothes, cold in your teeth, cold in the backs of your knees and the line of your spine. Not water-cold exactly. After-cold. Drugged cold. Shock-cold.
Then movement — hand clamped around your arm and yanked. Pain flashed bright and mean somewhere near your eyes and down the side of your neck. You made a sound without meaning to, something small and useless, and somebody above you laughed too quickly.
The smell hit next. Salt, diesel, old fish, wet wool, blood.
Then Daryl’s voice. Not the words at first. Just him. The shape of him in the air, hard enough to split through everything else. You didn’t open your eyes — if they were open at all, you couldn’t have said — but the world gained edges. Your wrists ached. Rope. Your legs too, bound. Your stomach dropped a little as the boat shifted under you and some ugly animal part of your mind caught up enough to understand boat, sea, bad.
The knife at your throat was cold enough to register through all of it, completely freezing you still.
Seamus smiled out across the water, blood still dried dark at one nostril from the earlier crack to the face, and the sight of Daryl holding that rifle without firing clearly did wonders for his confidence.
“Ah, who am I kiddin’,” he called. “You’re right. Can’t cut her throat. Don’t got it in me.” The words came with that awful little upward lilt some men got when they thought admitting mercy made them the hero of their own story. He then bent down, hooked one arm under your knees and the other behind your back and lifted your body toward the side of the skiff, your head lolling uselessly with the motion. The bandages around your eyes caught the lantern-glow and flashed pale as bone. “But I can chuck her over,” he bellowed, almost cheerful now, drunk on the shape of Daryl’s attention. “Let’s see how she swims huh? Out cold. Hands and feet tied.” He shifted his grip to swing you farther over the gunwale, enough that the black water below breathed cold and endless beneath you. “That’d settle it, wouldn’t it?””
The sea under the skiff rolled dark and depthless, the hard little catches of lantern-light and suggestion of something bottomless beyond it.
Daryl’s heart did something ugly and immediate in his chest. “Don’t you dare.” That was the first true crack in him all night, and every man in every boat heard it. He lifted one hand from the rifle. Then the other, practically in slow motion, and opened both palms in the swinging lantern-light where they could all see. The surf hissed around his boots. Behind him, St. Hale loomed black and helpless and much too far away. In front of him, thirty men watched a husband learn exactly how much of his pride he was willing to lay down in public if it meant keeping his wife breathing.
Seamus grinned at the sight of it, bright and ugly with triumph. “Thought so.”
And that was the moment you made your moved; not gracefully,not even cleverly or with any of the elegance you would later wish you could claim. But you had heard enough of these fuckass men speaking, felt enough, understood enough and ultimately, you fucking had enough. The knife. The water. Daryl’s voice gone wrong in a way you never wanted to hear again. So when Seamus shifted his hold to swing you farther over the side, you let your body go with it just enough to buy the angle and then threw your head back as hard as you could. Bone met cartilage with a thick, wet crack. Seamus howled, the knife hand jerking wide as blood exploded from his nose, and his grip on you loosened.
And apparently, that was all Kessler needed. The old man moved with a speed so at odds with his age and general air of cultivated uselessness that for one astonished instant nobody in the skiff understood what they were looking at. One second he was trussed and cornered in the bottom boards, sour-faced and dripping and apparently at the mercy of four men with all the tactical polish of a drunk card game, and the next he had flung himself sideways with the vicious, committed economy of somebody who had spent a lifetime hating incompetence and had finally, finally found a physical outlet for it. His shoulder drove low, his bound legs came up together, and both boots slammed square into Pádraig with all the grace of a mule kick and all the mercy of a falling safe.
The sound Pádraig made did not belong in a human throat. He folded instantly, knife and all, collapsing inward around himself with a strangled, organ-deep howl while the whole skiff rocked so hard the gunwale dipped and sent black water slapping over the side. Niall yelled. Liam swore. Seamus, still reeling from the crack of your skull into his nose, lost what remained of his grip on both dignity and control. For half a beat the four of them were no longer captors or a coordinated assault team or whatever heroic nonsense they’d been calling themselves in their heads on the row over. They were simply four idiots in a small boat discovering, all at once, that their hostage was waking, their doctor was violent, their knife man had just been unmade from the waist down, and they had made a series of truly appalling life choices.
too far away. In front of him, thirty men watched a husband learn exactly how much of his pride he was willing to lay down in public if it meant keeping his wife breathing.
Seamus grinned at the sight of it, bright and ugly with triumph. “Thought so.”
And that was the moment you made your moved; not gracefully,not even cleverly or with any of the elegance you would later wish you could claim. But you had heard enough of these fuckass men speaking, felt enough, understood enough and ultimately, you fucking had enough. The knife. The water. Daryl’s voice gone wrong in a way you never wanted to hear again. So when Seamus shifted his hold to swing you farther over the side, you let your body go with it just enough to buy the angle and then threw your head back as hard as you could. Bone met cartilage with a thick, wet crack. Seamus howled, the knife hand jerking wide as blood exploded from his nose, and his grip on you loosened.
And apparently, that was all Kessler needed. The old man moved with a speed so at odds with his age and general air of cultivated uselessness that for one astonished instant nobody in the skiff understood what they were looking at. One second he was trussed and cornered in the bottom boards, sour-faced and dripping and apparently at the mercy of four men with all the tactical polish of a drunk card game, and the next he had flung himself sideways with the vicious, committed economy of somebody who had spent a lifetime hating incompetence and had finally, finally found a physical outlet for it. His shoulder drove low, his bound legs came up together, and both boots slammed square into Pádraig with all the grace of a mule kick and all the mercy of a falling safe.
The sound Pádraig made did not belong in a human throat. He folded instantly, knife and all, collapsing inward around himself with a strangled, organ-deep howl while the whole skiff rocked so hard the gunwale dipped and sent black water slapping over the side. Niall yelled. Liam swore. Seamus, still reeling from the crack of your skull into his nose, lost what remained of his grip on both dignity and control. For half a beat the four of them were no longer captors or a coordinated assault team or whatever heroic nonsense they’d been calling themselves in their heads on the row over. They were simply four idiots in a small boat discovering, all at once, that their hostage was waking, their doctor was violent, their knife man had just been unmade from the waist down, and they had made a series of truly appalling life choices.
Daryl didnt hesitate. The hand he had lifted in surrender dropped, not slowly now, not cautiously, but with the whip-fast inevitability of a trap springing shut. The grenade was already in his palm. He yanked the pin with his teeth, tasted metal and old grease and one sharp second of decision, and sent it in a hard, ugly arc straight for Tom’s boat. For one impossible heartbeat, the whole beach held still around that little shape tumbling end over end through lantern-light. Tom saw it first. Daryl knew because he saw the exact instant recognition hit him — the widening of the eyes, the collapse of every careful word he’d been trying to wrap around this night, the split-second naked horror of a man understanding too late that he had misjudged where the line was and who was willing to cross it first. “Down—!”
The explosion tore the word in half. It did not simply go off. It seemed to punch the night inside out. Light came first, hard and white-orange and so sudden it turned every boat, every man, every wet rope and lantern pole and lifted face into a stark cut-out against the dark before obliterating all of it in fire and force. Then sound — not one sound but a whole stack of them arriving at once, the crack of the blast, the splintering shriek of timber, the metallic scream of fittings shearing loose, men yelling before they knew they’d been hit, lantern glass bursting, somebody in the middle of it all making a high animal noise that did not stop quickly enough.
Tom’s boat seemed to lift in the middle and come apart at both ends. Wood flew. Nets whipped loose and caught flame. A shower of shattered planks and burning oil rained down across the chop while the nearest hulls, hit broadside by the wave of force, slammed into one another in wild, panicked collision. One boat rode up over the side of another and tipped two men straight into the black water between them; one came up screaming, the other didn’t come up at all. A lantern spun away trailing fire, hit the diesel sheen spread across the surface, and suddenly the sea itself was burning in broken orange ribbons between the boats.
The whole crescent disintegrated. Men who had rowed out feeling brave and numerous and chosen were now ducking blind, clawing at one another, slipping on wet boards, grabbing for oars, guns, knives, anything that still belonged to a world where they had the upper hand. One shrieking idiot pitched clean over the side when his own boat rebounded off another and landed in the surf so hard it knocked the breath out of him before the cold could. Another fired wildly into the dark and nearly took off his mate’s ear. Somebody farther back yelled for everybody to hold the line, which would have been admirable if the line had not already become a floating bonfire of cracked wood, scattered men, and deep,deep regret.
The blast hit the skiff a heartbeat later. Not directly — thank God for small mercies and dumb luck — but close enough that the shockwave came off the water and under the hull like a giant hand, lifting one side of the little boat so violently that for a second everything in it lost its agreement with gravity. The lantern hanging at the bow swung madly and went out. Someone screamed. Someone else dropped flat by instinct and nearly pitched himself overboard anyway. Black water slapped over the gunwale in a freezing sheet and turned the bottom boards slick as oil.
You hit those boards hard enough to see white behind your bandages.A knee. A shoulder. The side of your face. Pain flashed everywhere at once, bright and stupid and immediate, but before your body could decide whether to curl around it or vomit from it, a hand clamped onto your shoulder and tried to haul you back.Another hand reached for the knife Seamus had lost when your skull broke his nose. The skiff bucked again.
Kessler’s voice cut through the dark like a wire drawn tight.“Left of you.”
Aye aye captain.
An angle of somebody’s breath too close and the old bad instinct that kept you alive came into fierce focus, switching you into gear faster than panic ever could. If hands were reaching for your throat then hands simply needed to stop belonging to people.
You turned into the sound on reflex alone and found flesh. The knife came free in the scramble and into your hand all in one ugly, blessed motion you would not have been able to repeat on land with both eyes working and a week of sleep behind you. Pádraig, the man grabbing for you made a startled little noise — more offense than fear, as if he genuinely couldn’t believe the sedated hostage had chosen aggression — and then Kessler snapped, “Higher — there,” and your arm obeyed before your mind did.
The blade opened his throat in a hot, wet rush. He dropped against the gunwale with both hands at his neck, making a horrified bubbling sound that the sea and wind grabbed at immediately. Blood spread black in the dark, then flashed red for half a second where distant firelight caught it. The boat rocked under his dead weight, and one of the others, Seamus, trying to scramble backward fast enough to avoid both you and him, planted a boot on the wrong board and simply vanished with a shriek over the side.
There was a splash, then furious thrashing, like a cat in a bath tub. Then a stream of swearing from the water that told you one of the four was still technically in the fight, just no longer in the boat, which honestly felt like a him problem
Niall — the one who had been trying very hard not to be the first coward and was now discovering that principle was expensive — lunged anyway. Panic had made him brave in exactly the useless way panic always did, all speed and no sense. You heard the rush of him more than saw or felt it, the boat pitching under his movement, and your body did what it had been trained to do long before blindness and surgeries and weird cult medicine made everything harder.
Shift; angle; don’t meet force head-on if the floor is moving under both of you. Kessler, still tied at the wrists and somehow managing to boss people around even now, barked, “Forward. Stomach.” You stepped into the lurch of the skiff instead of away from it, let the wave under the hull throw your weight where it wanted to go, and drove the knife forward under his ribs. There was resistance first, a sickening, muscular drag. Then suddenly none at all. The sound he made was awful — not cinematic, not dramatic, just utterly human and betrayed — and for one insane second he seemed so affronted by the whole experience that if he’d had time he might genuinely have complained. Then he folded over the blade and crashed sideways into Liam, who had by now fully abandoned any philosophical commitment to the plan and was trying to get out of the skiff without it technically counting as fleeing first. The collision took both of them half down. Liam yelped. The wounded man slid, twitching, into the bottom boards with his boots still kicking at empty air.
You sucked in a breath that hurt all the way down. Your whole body had started shaking. Not from hesitation but from pain, from cold. From the surgery and the boat and the Atlantic and the fact that you had woken up half-bandaged, half-drugged, tied at the wrists, and chosen violence before even uttering a word. A laugh wanted to crawl up your throat at the absurdity of that and got nowhere.
The skiff was still rocking in the aftermath of the blast, rolling broadside to the chop now that no one sane was handling it. Beyond it, men were shouting across the water in overlapping bursts. Something else exploded farther down the line. One burning lantern spun slowly on the surface like a little orange moon refusing to go out.
Kessler had made it upright somehow. He stood braced wide against the pitch of the boat, rope still hanging from one wrist, looking down at the two bodies in the bottom as if they represented not danger or moral crisis but a deeply irritating administrative problem.“Shouldn’t we uhh… ‘take care’ of them?” he asked grimly, with air quotes as in case he was being obvious enough.
You turned your bandaged face toward him, breath tearing in and out of you. “No we don’t. He blinked. It was, frankly, the wrong answer for the sort of man he was. One of the dead men twitched again. Not reanimating yet, just dying very poorly.
You shoved yourself toward him on your knees, one hand slipping in seawater and blood and rope fibers, grabbed at the nearest coat with both bound hands, and hauled with all the graceless determination of somebody who had run out of better options ten minutes ago.
Kessler stared in horror as you shoved the body toward the edge of the skiff. “Let them turn,” you said. “They can help us.”
The idea hit him in visible stages. First, offence; then comprehension. Then, to your deep surprise, a short, astonished bark of laughter that had absolutely no place in the middle of a burning harbor battle. “Mrs. Dixon,” he said, sounding almost impressed against his will, “you are appalling.”
“Not all of us got to hold up in our very own private island,” you barked at him. “This is what survival looks like princess — now are you gonna help me out or let the blind chick do everything for you?”
He didn’t say anything back because that would only prove your point. He moved at once, and now that he understood the assignment the whole thing got easier in the ugliest possible way. Between the two of you — you dragging with your hands still tied and every muscle in your body trying to seize up from protest, Kessler kicking and levering and swearing like a dockworker cursed with a medical degree — you got the first body up against the gunwale.
The skiff rolled hard just then. The body nearly slid back in. Kessler shoulder-checked it with a sound of personal insult and sent it over. It hit the water with a heavy slap and vanished in black churn striped orange by reflected fire.
The second one was worse because he was fresher and larger and had the bad manners to still be making wet little throat noises as you shoved him. Liam, who had flattened himself into the farthest corner of the skiff and seemed to be having a religious experience centered around regret, made a strangled sound when the corpse’s hand caught briefly on his boot.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Kessler snapped. “Either help or drown.” Liam chose neither, which was in keeping with the quality of his decision-making all evening.The boat jolted under his weight, abandoning ship with a splash. He swam in the opposite direction for probably the first and last time of his life.
You and Kessler heaved together one last time, awkward and brutal and with none of the dignity either of you deserved, and the second body toppled over the side, hit the black water, and disappeared into the rocking, burning mess beyond.
For half a second the skiff emptied of everything but you, Kessler, Liam, and the sounds of the gunshots keeping time. And the sea — delighted now, finally invited to the party properly — kept taking bodies as if it had all night to sort the living from the dead.
Out on the beach and through the smoking wreck of the boats, Daryl moved up and down the black shine of the tide line with that stripped-down, terrible purpose some people only ever reached in the exact worst moment — when fear had burned itself so hot it came out the other side as precision. Firelight kept finding him in pieces: the hard angle of his shoulders as he shouldered the rifle and fired, the flash of his profile as he turned through smoke, the wet shine of surf around his shins while he moved like the water had offended him personally and would be dealt with in due course. Each shot found somebody. Not theatrically, not with any flourish, just with the cold, practiced economy of a bowman who had spent too much of his life knowing exactly what needed to be done.
One Hook man got halfway over the side of a ruptured skiff before Daryl’s bullet caught him high in the chest and folded him backward into the burning shallows. Another tried to rally two others behind the broken lantern post and lost half his skull for the effort. A third slipped on blood and wet rope, looked up just in time to see Daryl already sighting on him, and vanished into the dark water with a scream that got chopped in half by the next blast.
And still the whole thing did not look like victory. That was what made it worse.
It looked like a slaughterhouse with no walls. Boats split open and bumping one another in the surge, lanterns floating loose and turning the black water orange in streaks, men shouting different orders in different directions, the dead and the not-yet-dead beginning to sort themselves badly under the pressure of heat and noise. Every time it seemed as though the Hook line had finally shattered, another cluster of them appeared through smoke or spray or reflected firelight, climbing over wreckage, rowing hard for shore, trying to regroup on whatever bit of ground had not yet killed them.
The skiff under you pitched violently as another shockwave rolled under it from farther down the beach. Kessler braced one hand on the gunwale and the other over your bandaged face automatically, shielding what little he could from the flare of light. “Don’t,” he snapped when you tried to lift your head. “Unless blindness has suddenly become apart of your personality.” You shoved his hand away. “A little late to commit to that bit.” But the dark around you had changed. It no longer felt like cover. It felt like confusion, and confusion was never loyal to the side you wanted.
Not far from the skiff, Seamus clawed his way back up through the water.
He came up ugly and furious, coughing brine and blood, one side of his face slick where your head had opened his nose. “Oh bugger,” Kessler curse. “Seamus is coming back for another round.” For one mad second, imagining him stagger upright with the surf at his thighs and one arm already reaching back toward the skiff, your stomach dropped. Because there he was, still alive, still coming, and behind him — farther out in the chop — two more shapes were wading your way through the broken water.
Niall. Pádraig. For one horrible, breathless instant the whole night contracted around that fact.
Two against three, Kessler tied off half-free and furious, you fresh from surgery and bandaged and cold and not nearly steady enough for another round of this, Seamus climbing back into the fight with murder finally replacing all that cheap swagger — and suddenly it looked, really looked, like this was it. Like all the noise and fire and rifle shots and explosions had only scattered the world enough to leave you stranded at the wrong end of it.
Seamus saw them too, and relief broke across his face so fast it was almost luminous. “Yes,” he gasped, half-laughing around blood. “Yeah. There y’are. There y’—” The rest of it died in his mouth. Because what was wading toward the boat was not backup.
Niall’s lantern-lit face came clear first, pale and wrong and emptied out of everything but appetite, his jaw hanging at a sick angle where the blast or a fall had half-unhinged it. Beside him Pádraig’s body moved with that jerking, sea-dragged insistence no living man ever had, head lolling, one eye gone to a dark socket packed with something black and fibrous like old weed. The waves kept lifting them and dropping them and still they came, hands out, not for rescue now but for meat.
Seamus froze. His brain, like most brains at the edge of their usefulness, took one fatal moment too long to understand what his eyes had already been given. “Niall?” he said, and then, smaller and much more honestly, “Oh shit.”
They hit him together. The water came alive around his waist in thrashing limbs and a scream so high it barely sounded human by the end. Niall caught his shoulder first. Pádraig went lower, teeth finding somewhere soft under the ribs or at the hip — you couldn’t tell and didn’t want to — and Seamus disappeared in a frenzy of black water, white foam, and flailing hands. For one savage second he reappeared half-upright, mouth open in a red howl, then the dead dragged him sideways and the sea folded over all three of them like it had been waiting.
For the millionth time you wished you had lost your hearing rather than your sight, because the visual of that could not compare to the atrocious sounds of seamus during dinner time. Kessler, beside you, said very quietly, “Well. Thats that.”
The beach had become impossible to read whole. Smoke and fire and surf kept rearranging it faster than the eye could trust, faster than thought could hold. But some things stood out anyway. Daryl moving through it, Daryl firing again, the rifle cracking bright and mean over the rush of water. A Hook man making a desperate break for the rocks and dropping instantly when a shot took him at the knee and sent him pitching into the line of walkers washing in behind him.
Another cluster breaking toward the high path. Kessler saw that and went rigid so fast the whole skiff seemed to feel it. “Oh god.”
You turned toward him. He was staring at the upper path, or where the upper path ought to be through all the wreckage and the moving lights, his face voice suddenly and completely raw in a way you hadn’t heard before. Not anger now. Fear. Pure and practical and old. “If they make the fort—”
The path lit all at once.
Not like fire catching by accident, not like lantern glow or reflected blast, but with the hard, magnesium-white violence of something engineered to blind God Himself. One second the narrow track above the beach was just black rock and shadow and running men. The next a flare line snapped alive under their feet and the whole side of the island blew into brutal daylight. The explosion that followed came a beat later and carried stone with it.
For a second everything was white. White path. White smoke. White faces. White spray as men were thrown sideways off their footing and into each other and into open air. One body pinwheeled clear of the rock and vanished. Two more crumpled together in a tangle of limbs and screaming. The few still upright broke instantly, no courage left in them after finding out the island itself had teeth.
Every walker on the shoreline turned toward the light. Kessler’s hand came back over your face automatically, rough and unceremonious, dragging your head into the side of his shoulder to shield your eyes from the worst of the flare.“Don’t look.” Because the whole beach was light now.
Too much of it. Enough to make the burning boats and the moving dead and the surf itself look surreal and overexposed and wrong. Enough to wipe detail from distance and leave only shape. And in all that light, suddenly, Daryl was gone. “Where’s Daryl? Can you see him?” You said, nudging Kessler to answer you. Wreckage blocked the line of shore where he had been moving a second ago — one half-sunken boat, one burning mast, a tangle of men and walkers in the shallows — and your stomach dropped so hard it was almost physical.
You shoved Kessler’s arm away and lurched upright too fast. The movement dragged one of the bandages loose. It slipped at the edge, enough to let a sliver of raw, watery vision in around the blur — not sharp, not clean, but more than black. Light and shape and motion smearing together horribly. Still no Daryl.
“Daryl!” This time your voice cracked. Kessler caught at your sleeve. “Do not be an idiot.”
But panic had already made its decision for you. You climbed out of the skiff.
The water hit at your thighs first, then your waist when the bottom dropped unexpectedly under one step, icy and rough and full of floating debris that knocked against your legs in the dark. You waded anyway, not gracefully, not sensibly, your body one long scream of post-surgery protest and cold and overexertion and none of it mattering because he was not answering.
Behind you Kessler swore with the deep personal venom of a man too old for this and came after you, splashing with all the fury of a doctor forced into field conditions by idiots. “Mrs. Dixon!There are thirty odd Hungry ones on this beach, thirty two if we don’t leave right now!”
You barely registered him.
The beach felt wrong underfoot once you hit it — soft shingle, broken boards, something slick that might have been weed or blood or both. You half-ran, half-stumbled up onto the wet stones, breath tearing in and out of you, the loosened bandage sliding lower until the world came in through one eye as a painful, watery blur. Firelight smudged. Figures doubled. Smoke moved like living things. Every outline hurt.
You always said he was gonna go out by own of his own explosions because it was his answer to fucking everything. Herd of walkers? Blow shit up. Building in the way? Blow it up. Need a distraction? Blow something up. Bad guys? Blow em up. And he’d say something moronic to you like well yeah i married a bombshell and you had to fight the urge to slap him. How many fucking times did you tell him to quit playing with explosives and now—
Then one of those blurred shapes broke from the smoke and started toward you at speed.
Tall. Bowed a little from exhaustion. Rifle hanging low now. A dark figure running through shin-deep surf as if the sea and every living thing in it had just spent the last ten minutes trying and failing to keep him from exactly this. “Daryl—”
You barely got the name out before crashed into you; enough force that all the fear you’d been holding up with sarcasm and adrenaline and bad decisions gave way at once. His arms came around you so tight your boots left the ground completely, and then you were against him — wet jacket, smoke, salt, blood, the brutal familiar shape of him — and for one insane moment both of you were laughing and crying at the same time in those ugly little sounds people make when their bodies don’t know which one survival is supposed to be.
“There y’are,” he said into your hair, voice wrecked. “Jesus Christ. I thought—.”
You clung to him just as hard. “I called for you jackass”
“I know.”
“How many explosions is it gonna take for you to admit you have a problem .”
That got a sound out of him that could have become a laugh in gentler circumstances. “Probably a few more.” He pulled back only far enough to look at you, his hands framing your face with a care so fierce it almost hurt more than the sea had. Your bandages hung half-loose, your vision through the gap a raw blur, but even through that you could tell his eyes were wet and furious and alive.
Behind the two of you, Kessler had made it up onto the beach and stopped. He stood there, dripping and breathing hard, one hand still half-raised from where he had clearly meant to keep shouting at you, and whatever he saw in the two of you arrested him completely. Something like astonishment softened his face. Not at the affection itself, maybe. At the fact that after all this noise and blood and idiocy, something in the world still ran this clean toward what it loved.
He smiled. Only a little. Only for a second. Then he schooled it away by turning practical again, because that was clearly the only way he knew how to survive seeing anything tender.
Daryl looked over your head at him and said, with what little voice he had left, “Well?”
Kessler glanced at your eyes, at the slipping bandages, at the way you were standing under your own power in spite of everything. “The surgery,” he said, and for once there was no sarcasm in him at all, “went as well as I could reasonably have hoped.” He spread one tired hand at the inferno behind you. “Given the evening.”
Daryl’s grip on you tightened, not enough to hurt, just enough to anchor. “That mean?”
Kessler looked at you directly then, and though your vision through the loosened bandage was still only a smear of light and shape, his voice reached you clear enough to carry the thing that mattered.
“It means I got in, relieved the pressure, cleared what I could clear, and saved more than I expected to save. It does not mean miracles. It does not mean perfection. It means, if your body cooperates and if inflammation settles instead of flaring, you may have functional sight worth keeping.” He paused, the old doctor in him surfacing again through the smoke and ruin. “Only time tells the rest.” Daryl let out a breath that sounded like something torn loose.
“You okay?” he asked, voice rough enough to catch on the words.
You nodded against his shoulder. Or tried to. Everything in you still felt a little unstitched, a little floaty and bruised and far behind itself, but Daryl was solid in the way only Daryl ever was, all heat and damp denim and smoke and that deep, hard thud of his heart where your cheek was pressed to his chest. You could hear him trying to catch his breath and failing to do it quietly, could feel the rise and fall of it under your arms as if his body had not yet gotten the message that the worst of it was over. “I’m upright,” you murmured.
“That ain’t what I asked.”
“Well It’s what I’ve got.”
The sound he made at that was half laugh, half something much more frayed. He dropped his chin onto the top of your head and kept you right there against him, one arm banded hard around your shoulders, the other low at your back as if letting you go even an inch might tempt the universe into trying again.
The beach around you hissed and crackled and spat.
What had been shoreline an hour ago now looked like the world had taken offense to itself. Broken hulls listed in the shallows, some half-submerged, some burning stubbornly from the inside out. Nets smoldered in heaps. Tar popped in the heat. Thirty-odd walkers — the drowned ones, the newly dead ones, the ones the Hook men had brought on themselves in every possible sense — wandered through the wreckage in flame, their clothes burning off them in strips, their bodies moving slow and blind and horrible in the smoke like human torches too stupid to understand they were already dead. Every now and then one stumbled, fell, and stayed down. Every now and then one didn’t.
You sniffled once, more from smoke and cold than anything else, and tightened your arms around Daryl’s middle like muscle memory.
Kessler stood a few feet away, staring out at the island.
Not the fort alone. Not the walls or the old windows or the lamps still burning where they should not have survived the night. He was looking at the whole thing — the stones under it, the shoreline below it, the black rise beyond where the graves sat, and all the years he had apparently wedged into the place like a man trying to mortar himself into rock.
When he finally spoke, it was softer than either of you had yet heard from him and not entirely aimed at either of you. “Well,” he said. “What the hell now.”
Daryl didn’t let go of you when he answered. He only lifted his head enough to look where Kessler was looking and then settled his chin back against your hair.
“We could clear the walkers,” he said. “Bury the bodies. Put out what we can.” His voice stayed practical because that was what Daryl did when the alternative was cracking wide open in public. “Least we can do, after what you did for her. N’after the mess we brought with us.”
Kessler gave him a tired glance. “Your talent for understatement is almost offensive.”
The old doctor looked back toward the fort. Smoke drifted around him in pale, dirty folds, softening the sharp lines of his face and making him seem for a second less like a relic and more like a man who had simply run out of time somewhere and kept living anyway.
Daryl shifted his footing in the wet stones and said, after a moment, “You stayed here for a reason righ’?”
That drew a longer silence than the others. The sea kept working around the broken boats, black water pushing in and out through the wreckage with all the patience in the world. Somewhere a half-burned hull gave a long, low groan and settled deeper.
At last Kessler said, “My wife is buried on the east side. Above the wall.” The words came without flourish, which was somehow what made them heavy. “She came here when it all went wrong. Not staff. Patient, technically.” His mouth twitched once without humor. “We met because she found me insufferable and I, like an idiot, found that compelling. Then the world ended.”
You stayed quiet against Daryl’s chest, listening. His hand moved once up your back, slow and absent, not soothing exactly, just making sure you were still there for him to touch.
“I told myself I stayed because of the island,” Kessler said. “The stores. The work. The principle of the thing. Men like me are very talented at dressing up guilt as duty if you give us enough years to practice.” He looked toward the dark rise beyond the fort again. “But yes. Mostly I stayed because she was here, and leaving felt too much like admitting I had failed her twice.”
Nothing in the night had prepared you for that, not really. For all his sharp edges and his whisky and his contempt and his endless ability to make kindness sound like an accusation, there it was underneath: the simplest grief in the world. A man standing guard over the place where love had ended because he had not yet learned how to stand anywhere else.
Daryl was quiet for a beat, then two. Then he said, “We got a community.”
Kessler looked at him. “Yeah?”
“Mhmm.” Daryl’s tone stayed gruff, but there was something unmistakably earnest in it too, buried under all the usual bark. “Walls. People — our family. More noise than you’d like. Probably less whisky than you’d prefer. But we always need doctors. ”
Kessler huffed a laugh that nearly broke halfway through. “That an invitation, Mr. Dixon, or a threat?”
“Bit o’ both.” You smiled against Daryl’s shirt. “It’s kinda always that way with him.”
Kessler glanced at you, and there it was again — that odd little current between you, sharp and dry and somehow warmer for refusing to admit it. You could feel Daryl notice it too in the tiniest shift of him, not jealous exactly, just aware. Kessler said, “And what do you think, Mrs. Dixon?”
You lifted your head enough to aim in his direction. The loosened bandage still let in only a raw, blurred suggestion of him — lamplight and smoke and one tired shape where a man stood — but his voice had become easy enough to find. “I think,” you said, and your own voice surprised you a little by how steady it sounded, “that life is too unfair and tragic to spend it alone.”
You felt it land in the quiet that followed, in the way Kessler didn’t move for a second, in the way Daryl’s hand spread a little wider over your back.
Then, because you were still you and sincerity unsupervised had always made you itchy, you added, “Also, if you stay here alone much longer you‘re gonna grow barnacles and maybe some tentacles and I think you’re already unbearable enough without being part seamonster.”
Kessler stared at you, then smiled. Not the little unwilling twitch he’d been rationing out all night. A real smile. Small, yes, and tired enough to hurt, but unmistakable. It changed his whole face in a way that made the loneliness in it suddenly much easier to see. “You are,” he said, “an exhausting patient.”
“And yet compelling,” you said sweetly. That actually got a laugh out of him.
Daryl made a low sound that might have been agreement or annoyance; with him it was often both.
Kessler looked back toward St. Hale one more time, then toward the east side where his wife lay, then at the two of you — soaked, smoke-streaked, impossible, still standing — and went quiet in the way of a man whose life had shifted under him without the courtesy of asking permission first.
Daryl seemed to take that for the answer it was.
He adjusted you in his arms as if you weighed nothing and finally started up the beach, carrying you over wet stones and scorched rope and the broken bones of the night. Your face stayed tucked against his chest where his heart was still hammering too hard, where every breath dragged through him like he was trying not to shake and mostly managing. Behind you Kessler followed more slowly, one hand still half-raised now and then to shield your eyes from flare and flame when the smoke shifted.
The island had survived. The beach looked like war and bad decisions and divine judgment all rolled together, and St. Hale itself stood above it smoke-streaked and singed and no longer innocent, but standing all the same. You let yourself look at it once more over Daryl’s shoulder — or rather let the blur of it settle into your mind as something you had crossed hell to reach and somehow lived to leave.
Then Daryl, apparently deciding he had tolerated enough pathos from everyone for one evening, reached up with one rough hand and tugged your slipping bandage back into place with all the tenderness of a man rehanging a curtain.
You jerked your head away. “Get your filthy hands off me.”
He grinned, laughing completely with his chest. You made an outraged noise and would have thumped him if your arms weren’t busy around his neck. Instead you settled for glaring in the approximate direction of his jaw while he kept walking, the absolute bastard. Then his hand slid lower and landed, unapologetically, on your ass.
You sucked in a breath. “Filthy animal.”
“What?”
“We literally almost died and your handsin’ me.”
“Yup.”
“There are still burning corpses.”
“Yup.”
Behind you, Kessler said, with exquisite dryness, “Please continue pretending I’m shocked by your marriage. It’s the only thing getting me through the smell.”
That made you laugh, and the laugh turned into another sniffle halfway through, and somehow that was all right too.
Daryl’s mouth brushed your temple in something not quite a kiss and not quite not. “C’mon,” he muttered, the words meant only for you now. “Let’s go home.”
BONUS
The council meeting had already begun to sag under its own seriousness. Not because anybody in the room had stopped paying attention, exactly, but because meetings about new arrivals always developed the same tired rhythm sooner or later: names, routes, vague tragedies, the careful dance between caution and mercy, somebody on the back bench shifting too loudly, somebody else deciding this was the perfect moment to cough into the silence. The church — or the town hall, depending on who you asked and whether they were trying to sound practical — held that sort of tension differently now than it used to. The old bones of the place still carried voices upward into the rafters, still made every scrape of a bench and every folded hand sound a little more important than it really was, but Alexandria had settled into itself enough that these meetings no longer felt like emergencies so much as obligations. Necessary. Weighty. Repetitive.
At the long table near the front, Michonne sat with that same impossible balance of calm and command she always had, one elbow on the arm of her chair, one hand curled loose near her mouth, listening with her whole body in that quiet way that made people tell the truth more often than they meant to. Gabriel sat beside her, hands folded, face open in a way that made strangers trust him and regulars forget just how much he noticed. Aaron leaned back a little farther down, his expression patient but not soft. A few others were scattered along the benches and walls — Rosita, half watching the room and half the doors; Eugene pretending not to stare too hard at the newcomers while very much staring too hard; a handful of citizens who’d come because they liked to know who was arriving and because in Alexandria those two things often meant the same thing.
At the center of it all stood the latest three men at the gate, roadworn and trying very hard not to look like they’d been practising their story for the walk in. They weren’t dramatic enough to be immediately suspicious, which in some ways was more suspicious than drama would have been. They said they were from the coast and it showed in the weathering of their coats, the pale crust of old salt at the seams, the way they planted their feet slightly apart without seeming to know they were doing it, like men more used to decks than floors. One was speaking — something about having heard of a walled community from people they’d crossed paths with a good while back, and how they’d been searching inland in fits and starts ever since — while the other two stood behind him with the strained stillness of people who knew exactly how much depended on every word.
Gabriel had just opened his mouth to ask who, exactly, they had heard it from when the horn sounded outside. It wasn’t the gate alarm - that was the first thing everyone in the room knew.
This was lower, more familiar, one blunt blast carrying in through the open high windows and shaking a little dust from the old beams. It wasn’t a warning for danger. It was a road signal. A return.
For one beat nobody moved. Then came the sound of hooves on packed dirt outside, quick and sure. Then another shout, distant at first and then nearer, bright enough to make half the room straighten before they had even understood why. “Open up!”
The church changed instantly. Benches creaked all at once. Heads turned toward the doors. One of the younger guards by the side wall actually broke into a grin before catching himself. Judith, who had absolutely not been supposed to be here for this meeting and had somehow ended up perched three benches from the back anyway, shot upright so fast Rosita had to catch the back of her shirt before she bolted.
Someone near the aisle said, in a voice already halfway to delight, “No way.” A second later another voice — farther back, louder, with none of the first one’s caution — said, “Holy shit, it’s them. The Dixons are back.”
Whatever order the meeting had possessed dissolved immediately under the warm, sudden current that ran through the room. People started talking over one another. Somebody laughed. Somebody else was already halfway to the door before remembering there was technically still a council meeting that was happening. Even Michonne smiled, though she did it with the kind of restraint that suggested she was annoyed by how easy it still was for you and Daryl to blow apart whatever serious atmosphere she had spent the last twenty minutes building. To the three men at the front, she held up one hand without looking at them. “Stay where you are.” They did - mostly because they were too confused not to.
Outside, the sounds grew nearer in pieces — the jolt and slow of hooves, the grind of a truck engine coming down from a higher gear, the bark of Dog before anyone saw him, then the gate voices answering back with the loose affection reserved for people who returned often enough to be expected and unpredictably enough to still make an entrance of it.
By the time the church doors opened, the whole room had already bent toward them. You came in by sound and momentum before sight, because half the town had apparently decided at once that the proper way to greet returning travelers was to talk over them. Dust came in with you. Wind too. You were down from the horse before most people even properly registered the horse itself, handing the reins off to somebody by the doorway with the ease of someone who had long ago stopped performing confidence and simply started living inside it. The road had put new things on you — a deeper set to the shoulders, a weather-hardened kind of ease, the look of somebody who spent more days moving than still — but if anything it had only sharpened what had already been there. You came through the doors smiling and apologising and talking at once, as if turning up in the middle of a council meeting with a horse and dust all over your boots was not only normal but perhaps slightly generous of you.
Behind you, beyond the open doors, the truck pulled up in a cough of engine and brake. Dog launched out before the vehicle had fully settled and that won a laugh from half the room and an exasperated, immediate, “Dog!” from somebody near the back who was ignored on principle. Then Daryl got out.
He looked road-tired in the way Daryl always did, which was to say more put together than most men looked freshly washed. Jacket dark with travel grime, shoulders broader somehow than when he had left, face leaner and a little more weather-cut, moving with that same careless, dangerous economy that made it look as though he’d been carved out of the road itself and simply permitted, for now, to come inside. There was more dust on him than charm and more quiet than greeting, but the room opened for him all the same because Daryl coming home had somehow become an event people could feel in their backs before they knew they were standing. He rounded to the passenger side of the truck and opened the door and lifted down a child.
The room melted. There was no other word for it. Whatever composure the church had left after your entrance dissolved completely at the sight of little Dani tucked sleep-heavy and shy against Daryl’s shoulder, one fist already twisted into his shirt. Four years old now and carrying that peculiar blend of both of you that made strangers stare for a second longer than was decent — your mouth, his eyes, your expression when she was thinking about whether to be charming or suspicious, his entire refusal to be passed around because other people were strange and unfamiliar. Judith made a sound like delight had physically escaped her body. “Oh my god, she’s gotten so big since last time.”
You barely had time to laugh before Aaron caught you in a one-armed hug and Rosita swatted your shoulder and somebody else was asking how long you’d been gone this time and whether you had seriously ridden in on a horse just to make everyone else look lazy. Michonne reached you last, and once she had you in front of her she held your shoulders and looked you over with the kind of hard fondness reserved for people you loved enough to be annoyed by regularly. “This was a long one,” she said. “Thought you’d left us for good.”
“Oh, come on,” you said. “We’d never do that. This place would be so boring without us. I can tell we just saved you from a world record borefest” Michonne closed her eyes briefly the way people did when they had expected better despite all evidence and had only themselves to blame. “You’ve been back thirty seconds.”
“And already contributing.” That got a reluctant smile out of her anyway. Daryl had come in by then with Dani on his arm and Dog doing eager circles around his legs and the truck newcomers climbing down more cautiously behind him. Dani buried her face in his neck for a second at the sight of all the people and then peeked again when Judith all but materialised in front of her with the buzzing intensity of someone meeting royalty. “Hi,” Judith breathed. Dani stared. Then, in the smaller, serious voice of children trying to decide whether another child is acceptable, she said, “Hi.”
That, for some reason, nearly undid Aaron where he stood. You took advantage of the general emotional collapse to go around the truck and pull open the back, calling over your shoulder that yes, you’d brought people, and no, you had not simply started collecting them like road debris. Four strangers climbed down — tired, wary, road-thin in the way of people who had not yet learned how to trust being delivered anywhere alive. They hung close at first, their eyes taking in the church, the walls beyond, the sheer domestic fact of so many people standing in one place without fear.
Michonne clocked them immediately. “You picked them up too?” You nodded, already halfway to helping one of them with a bag. “North Carolina coast. Few weeks back.”
Someone behind you — Aaron again, amused now — said, “Thought you were done with the coast?”
At that you turned and looked toward Daryl. He was still standing with Dani in one arm, the other hand settled automatically at the back of her legs, listening to Judith explain something with all the breathless urgency of a child who has been waiting months to have a proper audience. At Aaron’s comment he looked over at you, and the look itself was a whole conversation before either of you said a word. You grinned first. “Oh, y’know, for old times’ sake.” You nodded towards Dani. “There’s something about the waves for her. Just puts her out like a light, it’s awesome.”
That got a laugh out of the room. Even Daryl’s mouth twitched.
There was authority in the two of you now in a way there hadn’t been before all this, and not the pompous kind either. Not the kind someone appointed. The earned kind. The kind that came from distance traveled, danger survived, people brought back. You and Daryl did not merely leave Alexandria and return to it. You extended it. The roads you rode became part of its nervous system. The people you chose to bring home were accepted not because Alexandria had grown soft, but because you two had become one of the ways it knew where to put its trust.
Gabriel, glancing from the road people by the truck to the four still standing uncertainly in the hall, looked as though he was trying to decide whether this meeting had just become more or less complicated. Michonne was having the same problem, only with more discipline. Then another familiar voice cut through from the side aisle, dry as driftwood and somehow audible over all the rest. “I’d hoped, frankly, you’d get lost.” Kessler.
He had come up without fanfare, which made sense, because apparently even years in Alexandria hadn’t managed to beat all the haunted-fort habits out of him. He looked cleaner than he had on St. Hale and no less inconvenienced by humanity. The same sharp old face, the same posture of a man who had agreed to civilisation on a probationary basis, only now with less salt in his beard and an expression that was trying very hard not to read as fond.
You brightened immediately and crossed to him, laughing. “There he is.” He accepted the hug the way he accepted most things — as if good manners had forced his hand and he would be lodging a complaint later.
Then his eyes found Dani. She had gone shy again at the new attention and had climbed higher against Daryl’s chest, one arm around his neck now, face turned half into his shoulder while she peered out with those solemn Dixon eyes. Kessler looked at her and something in his whole severe old face softened by accident. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said, shrinking himself to seem smaller. “What are they feeding you, missy?” Dani buried her face deeper into Daryl and refused to answer.
Kessler, to his credit, did not push. He only leaned a little on his cane — which he absolutely did not need but had acquired anyway because he enjoyed the implied fragility it afforded him — and said, in the same conversational tone adults used when trying to coax children into deciding they were safe, “Feels like yesterday your mother was threatening to murder your father because he kept suggesting breathing exercises.”That made Dani peek. You made an offended noise. “I was in labour. I was allowed to become temporarily crazy.”
“Temporarily?” Kessler echoed. Daryl, who had apparently decided to contribute now that he had an audience worth ruining your dignity in front of, said, “You kept calling me a bitch for gettin’ ya pregnant.”
“I was working through pain.” That, finally, got Dani to smile against Daryl’s shoulder, which seemed to please Kessler more than he was willing to admit. He tipped his head toward the road people by the truck. “Any of them need seeing to?”
You sobered a little, though not much. “Angie had an arm amputated two weeks ago. Healing all right, but I’d feel better if you looked at it.”
“Mm.” Kessler looked over the group with that same old clinical bluntness, all impatience and competence. “Any fever?”
Angie blinked. “No, sir.”
“Good. Let’s keep it that way.” He turned as if that settled it and jerked his head once toward the door. The four road newcomers followed him instinctively, which was probably for the best. No one in the room seemed remotely concerned about them. That, too, said something about you and Daryl now. No one was asking for their assessment. No one was glancing nervously toward Michonne. If you had brought them in with your daughter, that was apparently enough. As Kessler passed Daryl, he gave Dani one last look and muttered, almost to himself, “Far too cute to have come from him.” Daryl snorted. “Keep walkin’.” Kessler did, with the road people trailing after him toward the infirmary and Dog making a brief, official detour to sniff everyone and returning to patrol your orbit. And only then, with the church still warm from your arrival and everyone only just beginning to remember there had been a council meeting in progress before the Dixons had rolled back into town like weather, did the room start trying to gather itself into order again.
You looked around the church properly for the first time since riding in and took in the half-circle of benches, the table at the front, the citizens still gathered with all the awkward energy of people who had been interrupted mid-seriousness and hadn’t yet decided whether they were allowed to enjoy it.
“Uh,” you said, glancing from Michonne to Gabriel to the three strangers still standing where she’d told them to stay, “are we interrupting something?”
Michonne folded her arms. “Only a routine council meeting about whether or not to admit three men none of us know who arrived at the gate saying they heard of Alexandria and want to stay.”
You blinked. “Oh shit.”
“That’s what I said,” Gabriel murmured. “More or less.”
Daryl shifted Dani a little higher on his hip and glanced toward the front in the unhurried way he did when something might matter but not enough to stop him from pretending it didn’t. “We can clear out.”
Michonne’s mouth twitched. “You can. But since everyone in here is already too distracted to do anything useful for the next five minutes, you may as well sit down and contribute.”
You looked to daryl. "could stay for the show.” You smiled and reached for Dani. “C’mere, bug.” Daryl handed her over automatically, one hand staying for a second at the small of her back until he was sure you had her. Dani settled against you without protest, one arm looped around your neck, warm and sleepy and curious all at once. Dog immediately took this as a signal to lie directly under whatever bench you were going to choose, as if his role in the family was emotional support and also tripping hazards.
You and Daryl moved to the front table sitting next to Michonne. You fit into the room now in a way you hadn’t in a while, almost forgetting what it was like since being on the road. When you sat, people shifted for you without thinking about it. Daryl dropped down beside you with the ease of someone who had spent enough years pretending not to belong that the actual belonging had become almost invisible. One forearm came up along the back of the bench behind you, not showy, just there, the shape of his body still angled instinctively toward yours and Dani’s both.
You tucked Dani more securely into your lap, smoothed a hand over her hair, then looked toward the front again.
The three men standing there had not moved, but they were no longer simply three roadworn strangers in a church under scrutiny. Now they were men trying very hard not to react to seeing ghosts ride in with a horse, a truck, a child, and half a town laughing around them. The one in the middle — the broad-shouldered one who’d done most of the talking — had gone pale in a way that had nothing to do with exhaustion. Another had fixed his attention on a knot in the floorboards so fiercely it was almost devotional. The youngest looked trapped inside his own skin, every few seconds glancing toward the doors as if recalculating the distance. It wasn’t only that they recognised you. It was that they recognised the world around you.
The church full of people who seemed to lean in when you talked, who could afford to stop and argue about mercy because they weren’t starving this minute. The child in your lap. The dog under the bench. The fact that you and Daryl had not only survived Widow’s Hook and St. Hale and everything since, but had come out the other side into this — into something functional, warm, ridiculous, alive.
That was where the poison lived. Not in old hatred alone, though that was there. Not even in fear of recognition, though that too had begun to sweat through them. It was in the comparison. The unbearable, humiliating comparison between what they had become and what you had built.
While they’d wasted away by the sea in a village that mistook loneliness for law, this had been here. A life. A future. A little girl in your lap with her father’s eyes and your smart mouth waiting somewhere in the making. And the worst part — the part that would really rot a man from the inside — was that they had seen the edge of your life once already and chosen the wrong side of it.
Gabriel, who had seen enough unravelling men in his time to recognise the first seams giving way, inclined his head slightly toward them. “Please,” he said, calm as rain. “Go on.”
The broad one swallowed and tried. “We, uh… we heard of this place from folks passing through, years back. Thought it was rumour at first. But we went looking anyway. Took us time to find even a trail.”
His voice caught oddly on the word trail.
You stilled. Not visibly. Not enough for anyone who didn’t know you to notice. But something under your ribs shifted. There was something in the cadence. Not the words. The wear of them. The particular coast drag under the vowels, the shape of a voice aged by old obedience and too many years learning when not to speak first. Dani had started tracing idle little circles on your chest with one finger. Your hand moved automatically over her back, soothing without thought, but your attention had narrowed now.
Gabriel let the silence invite more. The man tried again. “We had… a place before. Sort of. On the coast. Didn’t last.”
Daryl, beside you, was listening now too, though not with the same knife-point focus. His attention had sharpened because the room had sharpened, because Michonne had gone quieter, because the men at the front smelled increasingly like trouble, but he had not yet placed them. Why would he? He had too much life between now and then. Too many roads. Too many faces.
You, on the other hand, had always built people first out of sound.
The man to the left spoke up suddenly, perhaps because silence had become too dangerous. “We were told communities inland didn’t like outsiders. So we kept moving.” That voice you didn’t know. The youngest added, too fast, “Didn’t think anywhere like this was real, not anymore.” Too much fear in that one. Too eager. Not him either. Then the first man spoke again, trying to gather the story back into his own hands. “We lost a lot, is all. Took us time to trust there’d be anything left worth reaching.”
And there it was. Liam. Not the face, not yet. The face had aged and dragged and thinned and maybe if he’d walked past you on a different road years from now you wouldn’t have looked twice. But the voice — the wavering effort at steadiness, the habitual trying to sound more harmless than he was, the little dip in the middle of longer sentences like he was forever preparing to be cut off — that was Liam Foley all the way down.
You felt your spine go very straight against the bench. Daryl glanced at you instantly. Not because he knew why but because he knew that. The hand he had draped along the back of the bench shifted lower until his fingers brushed your shoulder, a question without words.
You didn’t answer it. You were listening too hard. Five years fell away all at once in ugly little shards — salt in the Bell, Widow’s Hook, the wrong silence after Tom’s explanation, the skiff in the dark, Kessler barking directions while you killed men by voice and instinct, the smell of burning rope and wet dead. Not as a sequence. As a body-memory. One rotten tide rushing in behind another.
Liam kept talking because he had to. Because stopping would have been just as revealing. “Then a while back,” he said, and now you could hear the nerves in him clearly if no one else could, “we crossed paths with some traders who’d heard of a place west. Said folks there took people in if they were willin’ to work. Took us a long time to make sense of the roads from what they told us.”
You looked at Michonne. Then Gabriel. Then back at the front. Your face didn’t change much. That was the funny thing. After everything, you had learned how to go very still when something dangerous finally named itself.
But inside, the room had already tipped. Because now the story wasn’t just a story. It was a performance being delivered by one of the men who had stood by while Widow’s Hook curdled around you and Daryl, one of the men who had rowed out under lantern light while you were under Kessler’s knife, one of the men who had somehow lived long enough after St. Hale to crawl to your gates asking for sanctuary.
And if Liam was here, then those two with him were not random either. The broad one finally risked lifting his eyes toward the benches. That was his mistake. He looked at you directly, and whatever hope he’d been nursing that your face had changed enough, that the years had put enough distance between then and now, that the damage to your sight had left him safe in your hearing but not your certainty, died in one visible little collapse behind his eyes. You recognised him. He knew you reconised him. And suddenly all the warmth in the church stood in brutal contrast to the truth at the front of the room.
Michonne saw the shift then, her gaze flickinh from your face to Liam’s, then to Daryl, whose whole posture had changed without fully understanding why. Gabriel said, very carefully, “Is there a problem?”
You didn’t answer right away. Instead you adjusted Dani in your lap, slower than you needed to, the way you did when you were trying to keep your hands occupied so they didn’t do what they wanted before the room was ready.
And in that tiny domestic movement, everything about you told its own story. The old you might have gone white. Frozen. Second-guessed. Waited. This version of you had a child in her arms, road dust on her boots, a husband at her shoulder, and enough life behind her now that fear had become just one more thing to manage.
You looked at Liam. He looked back like a man standing on rotten boards and hearing the crack start under him. “Oh,” you said softly. “Don’t mind me.”
And in the silence that followed, even the people who had no idea what was happening understood that whatever came next was not going to be minor. The whole room had gone attentive in that strange, shallow-breathing way groups did when they sensed a current under the floorboards but hadn’t yet seen where it would come through. Gabriel looked from you to the men at the front and then, very gently, gave them one more chance to save themselves. “Continue.”
Liam swallowed. You could hear it from where you sat. It was a tiny sound in a church full of people, but now that you knew it was him, now that the years had folded up and laid themselves one atop the other, every little thing about him had become blindingly obvious. The careful harmlessness. The strain under it. The particular shape of a man trying to sound like he belonged anywhere other than where he had been made.
“Like I said,” he began, and his voice had gone thinner without his permission, “we were used to staying on the coast. It… it stopped being a place worth stayin’ in. After that we were on the road. Heard about communities inland from traders, drifters, folk passin’ through. Took a leap of faith.” He was doing all right, for a liar with a memory problem and too much past breathing down his neck. The broad one to his left stared at the floorboards with the rigid concentration of a man trying to survive by becoming furniture. The youngest had gone damp around the temples. His knee kept jumping in short, nervous jolts he didn’t seem to know he was making.
You shifted Dani higher on your lap. Daryl’s fingers, still resting near your shoulder, pressed once, asking.
You answered by standing. Not abruptly or in a way that would snap every eye in the room to you. Just smoothly, with the ease of someone who knew exactly what she was doing and had no reason to explain it yet. Dani made a sleepy little sound and curled more tightly into you. Daryl looked up immediately, his whole attention narrowing to the two of you in the way it always did. “You okay?” he murmured.
“Mm-hm.” You bent and pressed a kiss into Dani’s hair. “Need to move her.” That was all he needed. Or all he let himself ask for in a room full of people. He stood too, because of course he did, but you shook your head once and he stayed where he was, eyes tracking you as you made your way toward the side aisle. The room barely noticed. Most of them were still watching Gabriel and the three men at the front, still trying to decide whether the strange wrongness in the air had a name yet.
Outside the open church doors, your road companions had drifted toward the entrance on instinct more than invitation. They had the look of people not yet fully comfortable with walls, who could not bear to lose track of their known safe points in a crowd. Angie was there with her sling and her tired eyes, plus the two brothers you’d picked up outside New Bern and the older woman with the scar down one cheek who had somehow become everybody’s auntie by the second day on the road. They straightened the second you appeared with Dani in your arms and Daryl no longer at your shoulder.
All of their faces tightened. “Everything all right?” Chris asked.
You didn’t answer that directly. You handed Dani over instead, careful and practiced, and he took her the same way he’d taken a hundred other fragile things in a hundred other dangerous moments: without asking unnecessary questions first. “Keep her out here a sec,” you said quietly. “Don’t let her come in unless I say.”
That got the brothers’ attention. The older woman — Ruth — looked past you into the church, then back at your face, and whatever she saw there made her stop one beat short of asking what was wrong. Dani, drowsy and warm and not yet aware that the room behind you had shifted shape, blinked at chris and then reached one hand back toward the church. “Mama?”
You smoothed her hair once. “I’ll be right back ok baby.” That seemed to satisfy her. It wouldn’t have if she’d looked at your face any longer.
You turned before anybody could stop you. When you went back through the doors, the church was still listening to Liam. “…had nowhere else to go by then,” he was saying, hands loose at his sides in that careful way liars used when they were trying not to look rehearsed. “Just heard enough over time to think maybe if we kept inland, maybe if we got lucky—" He stopped when he heard you thundering down the aisle.
Maybe it was the speed of it. Maybe it was the fact that you weren’t carrying Dani anymore, didn’t have a child in your arms softening the shape of you. Maybe it was simply that people in Alexandria had known you long enough by then to understand, on some animal level, when you had moved from ordinary to intent. Conversations at the back died first. Then Judith, mid-whisper to Rosita, went quiet too. Then even Gabriel stopped pretending not to notice.
Your boots struck the floorboards with a rhythm that made the old church feel narrower and longer all at once. Men at the front shifted. Liam saw you coming and his face changed before he could stop it. Not just fear. Recognition made active. A man seeing the last few seconds of a lie and understanding he no longer had enough room to finish it. Daryl didn’t call after you and that, more than anything, told the room this was not random. He just stood where you’d left him, shoulders gone very still, watching.
The broad one beside Liam began to turn, maybe to bolt, maybe to speak, maybe to finally tell the truth and hope it bought him something. Too late.
Liam had just enough time to say your name — or maybe only the first sound of it — before your fist hit him square across the nose with a crack that rang through the church like somebody splitting kindling indoors.
The bench went over backward. Blood burst bright and immediate down his mouth and shirt.
The room exploded in noise for half a second — benches scraping, People yelping, somebody near the back swearing loudly enough to make Gabriel wince on principle — but nobody came at you like you’d done something irrational. If anything, the opposite happened. The room held itself back and looked to you, then to Daryl, then to the bloodied man sprawled across the table as if the order of the world had rearranged itself in a way everyone else was still catching up to.
Liam was the first one to break. Not physically — ou’d already handled that. You had him by the shirtfront, one hand planted hard enough on his chest to keep him flat while blood ran in a bright, humiliating line from his nose over his mouth and down onto the table. His eyes had gone wide and wet in the worst kind of panic — not the fear of immediate death, but the fear of a lie finally cornered with nowhere pretty left to put it. “Tell them!” you yelled. He blinked up at you, dazed and breathing hard. “Okay, okay—”
“Tell them the fucking truth.” At either side of him the other two had gone white clear through. Aaron had a hand on one shoulder. Rosita had the other by the back of the neck in a grip that suggested she’d happily improve the day if anyone got ambitious. Neither of the men resisted. Neither looked like they’d forgotten what happened the last time they underestimated you. Liam swallowed blood and pride together and started talking. At first it came out in pieces. Widow’s Hook. The Bell. The woman and her husband who showed up out of nowhere. The crossing. St. Hale. The night everything went to hell. By the time he got to the island, the room had gone so quiet the old church beams seemed to lean down and listen with everybody else.
Liam kept going because stopping now would have been worse than any truth he could spill. He told them enough. Not every filthy detail — some of those still stuck in his teeth like guilt and old fish bones — but enough that Alexandria understood exactly who these men were, what they had once belonged to, and what sort of place had shaped them. When he was done, his voice had thinned into something raw.
“We left after,” he said. “There wasn’t anything left there worth stayin’ for.” You gave a short, humorless laugh. “That’s one way to put it.” He flinched.
Gabriel stepped in then, finally, because someone had to gather the shape of what had just happened and decide whether this room was still a council or had become a courtroom. “And now?” he asked.
Liam looked from Gabriel to Michonne, then to Daryl, and finally, unwillingly, back to you. “Now we want a second chance.”
It would have been easier if he’d sounded slick saying it. If he’d sounded entitled. If he’d come in swinging or lying cleaner or reaching for some manipulative speech about redemption. Instead he just sounded tired. The youngest of the other two made a small, broken sound that was one inch shy of crying and looked like he hated himself for it. The broad one shut his eyes and let out a breath through his nose like all his years had suddenly become very heavy to stand under.
Liam wiped at his nose with the back of one hand and then, because apparently there was still enough stupid left in him to ask, looked at you and said, “How’d you know it was us?”
That earned him a blink from half the room. Then, because there really was no reason to make this prettier than it was, you said, “I got my eyes fixed up, dumbass.”
Then your mouth twitched and you added, “Or did you forget when you held me hostage after i was freshly cut open? Pretty rude of you to interrupt eye surgery.”
People thought they had misheard you, looking left and right to see if they had actually heard you correctly. Guilt was written all over his face. He thought to say it wasn't his plan, but it didn't matter that it wasnt - he still went along.
“I can see now, roughly,” you explained, “but your voice gave you away. Awfully nasal”That got a snort out of Rosita so sudden she had to cough over it. Even Michonne’s mouth gave at the corner.
Liam just looked stunned. Like he had built whole little hopes in himself around what you still couldn’t do and now had to watch them collapse in real time. Gabriel folded his hands again, because unlike the rest of you he was apparently still willing to act like this was a meeting and not a very strange reunion with violence in the middle. “I take it,” he said carefully, “that you’re not asking to have them thrown out.”
You let go of Liam’s shirt and stepped back at last, rolling your sore knuckles once before you tucked your hand into the small of your back. “No,” you said. A couple years ago that response would have been suprising, but now — every life counts
Daryl finally moved then, coming round the table in that easy, dangerous way of his until he stopped at your shoulder.
“They’re not stupid enough to try anything here,” you said. “Not now.” Liam, still half-bent over the table with blood all over his face, gave a tiny nod that was either agreement or gratitude or both.
Aaron looked toward Michonne. “What about Oceanside?” Michonne leaned back slightly and considered the three men. “Oceanside could use more people who know boats,” she said at last. “Your skills would be more useful there.”
The broad one actually made a sound then, half shock and half relief, and the youngest did start crying, just a little, trying and failing to hide it as he scrubbed at his face with both palms. You looked at him and recoiled on principle. “Ew.”
That startled a laugh out of half the room. You pointed at him. “I deal with enough crying from a four-year-old. I do not need it from a grown man.” The poor bastard laughed wetly through it, which only made him cry harder.
Gabriel exhaled through his nose in the long-suffering way of a man whose dignified council meeting had now become unfixable. “Well,” he said, “that’s one way to establish terms.” Michonne looked at the three men. “You’ll go to Oceanside under escort. You’ll work. You’ll keep your heads down. You’ll be grateful we’re even having this conversation. Most are less fortunate.”
They nodded so fast it was almost pitiful. Daryl, who had absolutely no interest in sitting through the next hour of logistics now that the only interesting part had already happened, leaned closer to you and muttered, “We done here?”
You looked at Liam, whose life had just been spared and redirected in one meeting, then around at the rest of the room, then shrugged. “I got to punch someone,” you said. “What else would I be staying for?”
That made Michonne close her eyes for one second, like somewhere deep in herself she was conceding that maybe the council had, in fact, reached its natural conclusion.
You and Daryl left before it was formally adjourned and no one stopped you. That would be very dumb on their part.
Outside, the late light had gone softer, all gold over Alexandria’s streets and fences and roofs, the kind of evening light that made a place look briefly like it had always meant to survive. Your road people were still near the church entrance, and Dani was in Angie’s arms now, drowsy and patient in the tolerant way of a child used to adults periodically turning serious for reasons she didn’t need explained yet.
The second Daryl saw her, something in his whole face lit from the inside. Not dramatically, that was never his style. Just a private, immediate warmth that made him look younger and older at the same time. “There she is,” he murmured. “Hey, bug..”Angie handed Dani over without a production, and Daryl took her with the same easy certainty he did everything that mattered most. One arm under her, one big hand spread safe across her back, then his face disappearing into her neck and cheek and hair in a flurry of rough kisses that made her squeal and shove at him and laugh all at once.
Dani wrinkled up her little face and clutched his collar with one hand. “Daddy!” You smiled despite yourself. “All right, enough,” you said. “You’ll rile her up.” He ignored you completely and kissed her face one more time just to be difficult.
By the time you made it to the truck, half your gear was already gone, already unloaded. Of course it was. Alexandria had seen you pull in and immediately done what Alexandria always did when it loved people — pretended it was being practical while being embarrassingly soft. Bags had been carried off. Crates too. Someone had already taken the horse to the stables. Dog was trotting ahead like he personally owned every street you’d ever come home to.
You looked at the nearly empty truck bed and then at Daryl. “Wow,” you said. “Look at that. Community.” He shifted Dani higher on his hip. “Mm.” “Very moving.” “Mm.” “You know, one day I’d love a more verbal husband.” “Sounds exhausting.”
You started down the street beside him anyway, your hand finding his automatically fitting there with absurd ease. Dog ranged at your side. The sun sat low enough now that the edges of everything had gone a little softer, and through your improved-but-still-imperfect sight the houses and gardens and familiar fences of Alexandria blurred just enough at the corners to remind you where you’d been and how far you’d come.
Daryl glanced over at a sign nailed crookedly to a porch post and, because he was a terrible man, said, “What’s that one saythen, hmm?”
You turned your head toward it with enormous dignity. The sign was, to you, an unhelpful pale rectangle with dark smudges where letters were probably doing their best. “I can totally read that,” you said immediately. “I just don’t feel like it.” “Sure.” “I can. I just don’t want to.” “That so?” You squeezed his hand. “Don’t be smug dear.” “Ain’t smug.” “You are deeply smug.” You looked at the sleepy child he was carrying. “Hey bug, is daddy smug?” “Uh huh,” she nodded. “That ain’t fair,” Daryl said. “She’ll agree with anything you say.” “Hey bug,” you said sweetly. “Do you agree with everything mommy says?” “Nuh huh.” He glared at you, grumbling something about how you were turning his own kid against him. “Hey, hotshot,” you said, pointing ahead.“Go ahead and read that for me.” He looked once at the sign and said, with complete confidence, “Says ‘no kids alowed.’” he squeezed Dani and she glared at the sign like it just stuck it's tongue out at her. From three houses down, Carol shouted, “It says welcome home, jackass.” You barked a laugh so suddenly Dani joined in without knowing why, and even Daryl’s mouth twitched hard enough to count. “Close enough,” he muttered.
You leaned your shoulder into him as you walked. Between your joined hands, your daughter in his arm, Dog at your side and Alexandria opening around you like the answer to a question you had once been too scared to ask, the whole thing finally settled where it belonged. In trying to get back what you lost, you found everything and more. And none of it required sight.
the hillbilly x latina trope was so good i really hope to see more of latina reader again🥲 yes i just love feeling included💔 also here to say that you are my favorite twd writer!!
AHHH YOU GET IT I was a lil worried I was kinda appropriating because I am super white but I love Latin American culture I even tried to learn Spanish for a bit but I’m just not a consistent enough person so I gave up 😃. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Latino person who I didn’t instantly get on with like you guys are such a vibe. I don’t see enough of that dynamic especially because it’s such a crazy pairing like literally yin and yang and it’s also sooo fun to write 😛 and that fic Corazon is a lil underrated in my professional opinion like it’s top 5 of my favourite fics I’ve done (I’m totally biased tho )
I definitely will write that soon cuz term is over babyyy let’s gooo 🪇
Your stories are my safe place. Every few months, I get obsessed with your stories, and I spend the next week rereading your works, and it happened again yesterday night.
It started with your blind!reader series, and now I'm rereading your whole masterlist.
I loved the scene where they were in bed and Daryl "left," but he actually didn't. He just wanted her to find him, even blind, so he knew she could find him.
I loved the emphasis of the italic here; "He needed you to know you could find him. He needed to know you could find him."
I also love how we see Dani bond with her parents, not only with Daryl but also her mother. I feel like in certain stories, we never truly see the interactions with the child and the mother, and you have done it very well.
I just love how human you make the characters, how they are not flawless, and how witty they are. Especially "reader" she is so witty and funny.
Also, can we talk about how your work feels like I'm reading a book?? They are always long and entertaining, and every scene is captivating either with the banter or their vulnerability or even their intimate scenes.
Thank you for your stories!!!
you get it omg. I’m so glad I could give this to you ig it makes me wanna cry like i have an impact on someone even if the faintest through silly lil musings idkkk
and literally you were on the nail with a lot of stuff on how i intended to do something that some other fics don’t i think it all just comes back to me being a chronic fanfic reader myself and how i can never really turn of my critical thinking when reading stories its a power and a weakness sometimes lol. Like i love long detailed fics so that’s what i do and ig i have that in common with people - same goes for how i characterise reader/ other characters because ultimately they are what makes the story 🤷♀️
Anyway you’re very welcome lol thank you for your message it means a lot to me to hear from people across the void <3
just stopping by to say i just read sight for sore eyes and i LOVE it!! It’s such a unique plot line and i love how you write daryl and reader and how dynamic their relationship is. I can’t wait to hopefully get some more of them in the future 🫶🏻
Eeeeek thank you sm i kinda like that i am reading it with you with like a new perspective from time away from writing. I love the subtle non-pressuring support too for a new part i feel very safe hehe <3
Also if anyone who enjoyed sight for sore eyes series and maybe has ideas/preferences for how this story should round off i would love to hear your thoughts. Part 5 is semi-written and I just wanna hear the peoples voices yknow. I don’t wanna ruin someone’s week because i gave them an ending to a 5 part fanfic which was underwhelming lol I’m not the Duffer Brothers.
Just wanted to say that I love your writing, like it's REALLY GOODDD! I can't wait to read anything that you write ❤️ like got anymore Daryl fics in the worksss😏
Thank yew bebe 😗
update on wips - ive been working on this fic for weeks now it wasnt supposed to be this long but i keep on adding to it i may just throw in the towel and do multiple parts but i think its pretty cool its a lil silly, its got a bit of everything, smut angst crack 😛 It was based off a few requests that i got like almost a year ago (i should go to jail for that soz) that a kinda merged together
At this rate im uploading it by the end of the week no matter what cuz its getting a lil silly how i keep going back on it cuz im starting to really get tired of the story lol. So you can look forward to that.
I'd warn you its long but i think thats a given with me 🫠