Title: Disguise
Characters: Zoro, Sanji, Chopper
Genre: idek i aimed for light-heartedness, but i am not sure if that was achieved *buries self*
Rating: T
Word Count: 1305 words
Warning(s): Lots of unimaginative cuss words. And the content has little to nothing to do with the title, at all. I'm very bad at giving names or titles, sorry.
Note: FOR zorofap's BIRTHDAY WHICH IS TODAYY HAPPY BIRTH I APOLOGISE THIS ISN'T AS GOOD AS I WOULD HAVE WANTED IT TO BE BUT HERE *THROWS IT AT U*
You had to admit that Lady Luck loved to be a bitch to this crew- or maybe that's just how things work when you have a rubber-headed idiot as a captain; a green-haired swordsman who couldn't hold a map, but could hold his liquor and swords; a navigator whom everyone feared to be the target of her punches; a liar whose nose brought up lots of questioning stares and a few chuckles along the way; a foul-mouthed cook who loved ladies, but whom never returned the affections; a -what was that even?- cuddly reindeer who proved that looks can be deceiving; a beauty whom one wouldn't associate with ancient things; a weird-as-fuck cyborg whose only source of refreshment was that of a dark carbonated liquid; and an undead-living-not-dead-but-not-quite-alive musician skeleton who loved telling jokes not everyone appreciated.
Either that or Lady Luck just loved being a bitch to this crew for the heck of it.
x
"Let's go there!" Chopper tugged at the blond's shirt, pulling him towards a brightly lit area on the field, filled with... people? They seemed to be anyway, if you discounted the fact that they were wearing bizarre outfits and costumes of every imaginable variety, all gathered around an odd looking man with a moustache that resembled a pair of tweezers, wearing pull-ups that were in a striking purple colour, concluded with a neon yellow tie with pictures of clowns on it. It seemed to be a gathering for the unfortunately dressed, if that man was the centre of attention - which appeared to be so, as he was the only one holding a microphone and standing on a makeshift stage, speaking to them with wild hand gestures, much to the sounds of pleasure from the crowd.
"I-I don't think that's a good idea," Sanji stuttered, as he was dragged closer and closer to those people.
"Aw, why not?" the tanuki (NOT A TANUKI) stopped in his tracks and started pouting, trying to pull of a look that would garner up enough sympathy or pity so that he could see what was going on with those strange people.
Then came a condescending sound that was similar to that of a husky-sounding bear, if you dared called him that. "Tch, the cook is scared," sneered the swordsman.
"What did you say, shithead?" yelled Sanji at Zoro, seething with anger and tongue flickering about.
"Geez, calm down. Your saliva's getting all over my swords, fuck," smirked said swordsman, more so to himself because he knew that he was winning this stupid battle of words. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"
"I'm gonna grill you up and ground you to pieces of unrecognisable meat, you shitty excuse for a swordsman," screamed the one-eyed fellow in a pitiful retaliation. He wasn't allowed to proceed any further with his threats though, as he was forcefully headbutted in his stomach by a pair of antlers, just as he was in mid-jump, ready to attack Zoro.
"Guys! You promised that this was gonna be better than expected, and also no fights," Chopper reminded, swearing to whatever God there possibly was that he was never going to take part in another ill-fated game of 'draw-sticks-so-we-get-to-decide-who-babysits-who-so-we-don't-get-noticed-if-we-want-to-stroll-as-normal-citizens-for-a-day'. (Thanks, Nami.)
"Fine. But if he does that again: permission to kick his ass, General?" inquired Sanji as he gave a half-playful salute to the doctor, keeping his eye on Zoro at the same time as well, in case the fucker tried anything.
"Permission granted, Private Sanji! Private Zoro, stop doing that thing to Private Sanji!"
"Hah, sure thing, Capt."
"It's 'General'!"
x
OK, that was really a gathering for the unfortunately-dressed, as the trio -who happened to be fortunately-dressed, thankfully, whatever the hell that meant- walked passed people in all sorts of costumes, and their faces covered in the oddest of make-ups.
There were people wearing wigs of all shapes and sizes, and even colours, as one person walked passed them with a rainbow-coloured hairdo. There were even people in animal costumes, for fuck's sake, and they almost lost Chopper to these people once. The wild colours and oddities of the whole event astounded them all, even though they had already thought of themselves as accustomed to whatever the Grand Line had in store for them.
The real shocker came when people started noticing the trio more and more, as they stopped in their tracks and pointed and oo-ed and ah-ed at them, excitedly groping about their own bodies looking for something.
"Nice eyebrows, son," one had said to Sanji while walking pass him and giving a nod of approval.
"Is that a real animal? Cool! How did you get him to look so much like the real thing? He looks exactly like the tanuki!"
"I'm not a tanuki, you idiot!"
"Your hair... really? Were you born with it? Because it does not look dyed like the others."
"Are those swords real? Where'd you get them?"
"He even has the scars!"
"And he reeks of smoke."
"What are you shits getting at, huh?" barked Sanji at the crowd forming around them. The crowd was attempting to thrust sheets of paper at them, screaming for their signatures, as if they were some super stars to be celebrated, when really they were just pirates high on everybody's wanted list for their idiocy.
Ol' Tweezers must have despised the fact that his crowd was dissipating and shrinking before him, left with only grandmothers with their crying grandchildren, begging to either go home or be away from the strange man, as he soon appeared before the trio, struggling to escape without garnering more attention than they already were, or even hurting anybody in the process. 'Fans' had already started grabbing their shirts,and there were even attempts to get a thread of the famed pirates' clothing, resulting in some claws being drawn in a battle for rags. Some had even grabbed and held onto their legs, swearing to not letting it go. ("I'M NEVER LETTING GO!" one had screamed in hysterics.) People with three swords, powerful legs, and giant antlers tended to cause misfortunes, no matter how accidental or careful they tried to be.
"Ahem, and what do you think you're doing with my cro-" Tweezers paused mid-sentence, as the struggling threesome turned around and stared daggers at him, daring him to utter a word more to further aggravate the mess they were in.
"...Is that hair real?"
Zoro only had to stare at him for a millisecond -and not more- for him to get his quick apology.
x
"A-And the award for best cosplay group goes to... Zori, Mr. Prince, and Chopperman, for cosplaying the infamous Straw Hat Pirates' very own Zoro, Sanji, and Chopper respectively in a near identical manner! It is to every cosplayer's knowledge that these costumes take a very long time, hard work, and determination, especially when you get them to look so alike, to get together, so let's give another round of applause to them! W-Well done to these three!" Tweezers announced to a cheering crowd, though there was also a portion that was sulking; God knows they put in a lot of effort as well.
x
"What the fuck did he call me up there just now?" Zoro asked furiously, using his thumb in preparation to unsheathe his swords, while Chopper frantically tried his best to maintain the peace that he was earlier promised.
"He wanted a name, and we couldn't give up your real name now could we, dumbass? So I went with what was best and appropriate that first came to mind."
"And that was 'Zori'? A letter away from my original?!"
"Woah, the marimo can count! I am indeed shocked and pleasantly surprised, if I do say so myself."
"That's fucking it, swirly. Thanks for signing your death wish."
Yeah, Chopper was never going to play that game. Ever. Again.
x END x
I FINALLY HAD SOME TIME TO SPARE JUST IN TIME FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY MY DEAR i am sorry i haven't been able to talk to you for so long, and yeah i've said that a bunch of times but, yeah, gotta say it repeatedly, soRRY ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ it wasn't as good as i would have wanted it to be, but i hope you liked it, and that you'll have a great birthday, because you deserve all the happy <3
[thoughts and reviews are VERY much appreciated, so if you have some time to spare in regards to this, please do share them with me! and thank you for reading regardless! i hope you enjoyed it :D]
WAIT IS THAT A THING…I thought you meant Chimney as in the little girlnow I’m thinking this is more the chimney he fell inthis unfortunate mistake in my brain caused me to think if anyone shipped Chimney with Gonbewhy
