Tainted

Park Yoochun All kinds of awesome wrapped up in one extremely handsome gentleman, at least on the outside... -Hellhound- S/O: Gay Chill OOC, mirrored literacy, Open RP, Independent, Multi-Ship Formerly known as shattered-kingmicky, yoochun-blueblood Contact: Tumblr IM, discord: Chun#6354

[honeynoisekv]

「STATIC NOISE STATIC」

Lee Jooheon ≠ AU ≠ Mirrored Lit. ≠ Semi-Selective ≠ Flexible ≠ Discord ≠ Tumblr ≠ Super Chill OOC ≠ 18+ Only ≠ Independent ≠ Open Plotting ≠

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[tainted-yoochun]

Update

I’ve spent a long time thinking about this and honestly it’s time I put this muse away. I’m expecting too much and it’s making it too hard for me to do anything here. Anytime I think of updating or even attempting to reply it feels very... empty. There’s no purpose in it really at this point. I’ve tried to re-invigorate myself many times but even attempting interactions on discord have been very difficult. I don’t feel the drive anymore which bothers me because I love doing this, it’s my escape but with changes in my personal life and where I am going I don’t know if this muse is the right place anymore. 

I know part of is my own doing, not putting the effort in to try to keep things going and withdrawing randomly when anxiety or whatever comes up for some random amount of time. Which blows because I really like this muse and I’ve put so much into him but it feels useless. Like I just keep people waiting knowing I’m not going to give them anything back because there’s nothing here to give.

I most likely will move onto another muse at this point because the longer I have this one, the more likely I will just up and completely disappear once more. I’ve learned a lot since I came back and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The fair weather treatment I’ve received and the same I’ve done back to others. It’s bothersome and shitty. It’s empty and draining because the work I put in just seems worthless.

Yeah, there’s maybe like... two or three people I talk to. I feel like shit because I’ve been a massive letdown but I don’t know what I can give back anymore. Maybe it’s been as a catalyst to help people get back into writing or something to that effect but it hasn’t done much for me in the long run. It’s just been pretty empty. I’ve been unsure who to talk to about it either because well, I don’t know who to talk to about it anyways.

If anything I will be leaving a link here to where I’m going next but muse updates here until further notice are pretty much done.

[tainted-yoochun]

Important Musings

It’s been weird for me since I came back. I’m still just as much attached to my muse as I’ve always been but it’s been very hit and miss. Part of it’s my fault and part of it is just the way things are with the rp community. I’ve found myself retreating to discord (it’s pretty much exclusively with one person most of the time) and finding things here harder to do.

I’ve attempted to branch out and make changes here to help with that such as multi-ship but it doesn’t seem to have any effect. I know I’m not the best either. I’ve forgotten threads and randomly disappeared again while trying to be active again. But I’m not sure what it is really that makes things so weird and hard for me to be on here. I know part of me misses how it used to be for me and I’m aware it’ll never be like that again. I can tell the community has aggressively changed into this thing that I’m not even sure I can recognize anymore.

I’ve attempted to follow other paths as well to see if I can get anything going but it doesn’t seem to work out. I really would love to write with more people but I get this feeling that if things aren’t the way others want it then I can’t get anywhere. Those that do kinda talk to me know I’m pretty open to whatever and I’ll interact with anyone. Maybe that’s just the discomfort, I don’t have a spry cute young thing that falls in love with every flower it sees and I don’t want to be that way.

I just want to have fun writing and it doesn’t feel like that anymore. It feels like you have to go out of your way to get someone’s attention and if you don’t do things the way they want, forget it. Even if you don’t know you’ve done anything possibly wrong, it’s already too late. I’m very tired of people contacting me to do things and then it going nowhere.

I’m aware this is a two-way kinda thing here and I’m aware I haven’t been perfect on all points either but... what am I supposed to do really? Because I don’t know anymore.

If you need to reach me I’ll be on discord as always until I figure things out. Chun#6354

[tainted-yoochun]

Update

I apologize for the lack of posting despite my intent to return fully. I’ve been having issues at work to the point where I had to walk out of my job yesterday. I’ll be able to find other employment soon but right now things are little rough so if you can please bear with me.

[agathodeimon-deactivated2018040]

@tainted-yoochun

The eternal desire to sleep turns to lethargy without a purpose in existence, and that turns to apathy. Yet again it proves that Hypnos’ attachment to his brother goes beyond their physical bond, and yet again he finds himself tired of living like this. Instead he finds refuge in bed, far more than usual. It’s difficult for the God of Sleep to find entertainment in much, these months- Days become weeks, and on an unknown day when spring nears, his usually silent abode is surrounded by whispers.

Just whispers, at first, then conversations, agitated and fiery. They wake him from slumber, then often enough that he rises from the multitude of pillows and carries himself to see what the noise is all about. 

They cower, his creatures, they know silence is what he demands but if they bow before him in fear, there’s also a determined intention in their greeting. “There’s a commotion in the Underworld, my Lord,” a shapeless creature says, it’s voice a multitudinous susurration. “One that appears human, yet can freely venture into depths a living being shouldn’t be able to.”

Hypnos’ lashes fall, and a tired sigh leaves him. For a moment he hesitates, aches to return to bed but this, this could perhaps be the thing he needs to be pulled out of the tedious rut. A tired, pale hand rises. Though he says nothing, they understand, dispersing after his slowly moving figure as he ambles towards the only exit of the cavern, and then deeper into Hades. 

[tainted-yoochun]

Yoochun had awoken here after a mysterious slumber was forced upon him without the usual assistance of copious amounts alcohol. At first when he had come to he had considered that perhaps this was still a dream but quickly realized the weight of his situation when he could not stir himself into “waking up”. Instead of panicking though he decided there was another way to figure things out and get an answer to where he had found himself.

In a calmed manner he began to do what he did best in these situations and went about knocking things down around him and breaking what he could attempting to get the attention of whoever was in charge down here. It didn’t take long for him to be greeted by mysterious shapeless creatures but since they didn’t have the aura of those in charge of him he paid little mind to them. “Instead of telling me to stop how about not playing these games?” He snarled as he tried to grab one of the creatures getting it’s attention as it seemed they weren’t familiar with a being such as him.

“I don’t give a shit how scared you are.” Yoochun cast the creature aside and began to wander about since making a ruckus wasn’t getting him to his goal. After all, a strange place like this had to belong to someone or something that didn’t typically wander in the mortal realm like he did. He trailed his fingers along unfamiliar walls leaving a trail of azure flames behind him hoping that maybe something a little more threatening would reveal someone with some answers.

[bearclawmarks]

“Meaningless sex is great. I mean it. It really is. Don’t get all conservative on me, it’s just an opinion. It’s nice to forget the heaviness in your heart and replace with a light pressing in the small of your back. It’s easy to get high off someone else’s lips, and ignore that thudding in your stomach, that constant reminder that you’re far from normal. It’s nice to have dark bruises down your neck than on your heart. I don’t even like using that word, because I don’t think I even fucking own one anymore. Or do I? Just fuck me. I mean it. Fuck me and get me out of here.”

— “Stepping Into Black Leather” (by me eW)

[the6002-deactivated20190503]

[tainted-yoochun]

Skitter

Life had gone had it always had gone for Yoochun. A series of random encounters and meaningless connections formed just to pass the time until the reality of immortality set in. Some days were a jumbled mess consisting of violence, fear, and the occasional sexual exchange. What else was there to do between “collecting debts” for his otherworldly employers if they could be referred to as such.

He also managed to not get himself in any trouble with the underworld since their chance meeting that had left a lasting impression on him. Everything had gone back to normal for him with some days dedicated to drinking and some spiced with a bloody taint that sated a deeper need. It didn’t bother him to live this way since it was a choice he had made and he didn’t have any regrets about it, after all he was the one who willingly signed his mortality away.

But there was always that stern reminder about what he had done to receive his gift so long ago. A bad nightmare would return of a fire and the terrible screams that occasionally kept him awake for days until finally alcohol or exhaustion finally would bring him rest. When you make a choice that leads you down a path of sin for eternity why not embrace the darker influence of the other side.

He wasn’t familiar with how the world of the gods, demons, or whatever definition mortals put towards his management. He only knew that he could send a soul to the other side and their destination was no concern of his. But then that evening where he met a representative of his benefactors had made him curious what exactly their world was like. He didn’t like to acknowledge that there were things out there stronger than he was but he had a feeling at this rate he was bound to run into trouble with a more powerful being sooner or later.

[tainted-yoochun]

Update

I’ve been away due to a bad stretch of sickness and personal issues. Nothing at home though, just shit I had to sort out in my head after being sick for a while. I’m a lot better now but I know that doesn’t excuse me from being away so suddenly. I know there are those of you that have been waiting for my replies and I do hope to tackle those within the next day or two.

I’ve also had to sit down and think about where I want things to go. I’ve considered just walking away but I can’t let go. I need to learn to not let others effect me and make me feel uncomfortable here because this is something I’ve put so much time into. I’ve had to swallow down that things aren’t like before and I’m not going to have things the way I want and I don’t want that to get in the way anymore.

So if anyone is still around and for those wanting replies please let me know. I’ll get things rolling again and hopefully I can get up to the standard I had before I got ill.

[tainted-yoochun]

Crimson

It was heated and drawn out far more than it should have been. The shouts and exchanges between the two men in the small park would have made anyone else uncomfortable but in this case there wasn’t much concern. Their issues were their own and they had come here to sort them out. Even though Yoochun had no problem with this stranger, he did have a need that called out for attention and he was intent on silencing it. 

He had ran into the other man while walking through the park and the fact that he was partly drunk made the whole situation that much easier to manipulate. A couple sharp words and insults had lead them to near violence but it just needed to be tipped over the edge for things to erupt. With a flick of his half-finished cigarette into the stranger’s face the fight exploded. A rush of punches and shoves had brought them close to each other and soon the scent of blood and anger filled the air.

Thankfully, the stranger was not very physically skilled and soon they were both on the ground. Yoochun struck the man’s face over and over until he had stopped moving and there was blood on his hands. The rush of a easy victory and for the time being his taste for violence was sated. He got up and dusted himself off giving the other man a swift kick to the side for no real reason other than to make a note that wouldn’t tangle again anytime soon.

As he pulled out his pack of cigarettes he looked around happy that no one had seen what had transpired so he wouldn’t have to waste anytime trying to make an escape. He took a long drag and stared at the man on the ground enjoying the fact that he had overtaken him so easily. He didn’t have a problem with the stranger at all, it was just to calm his blood lust for the evening. 

[tainted-yoochun]

Update Not Dead

Sorry I have dropped off the map. I actually got extremely ill and had to fight off a really terrible ear infection. Don't worry I'm still around and I'll get to replies when I get home from work. Hopefully I still have a job since it's kept me home and under a rock all this time. I miss the few important people that have stuck around and I'll reach out on discord as well.

[museaspect-archived]

tainted-yoochun:

Yoochun finished his food with little conversation while he ate. He got up taking his own plate to the sink before looking back at Jaejoong. Granted, there were only a few moment that he was annoyed with his presence but it wasn’t quite enough to put him off quite yet. He walked back to the couch and put his hand on Jaejoong’s shoulder to get his attention. “I’m not against it until you put me off you can stay as long as you wish.” 

He sat down next to him on the couch and tilted his head. He was curious about why he wanted to stay. The day they had together had been less than eventful but then again perhaps there was something else keeping this man from going back home. He wasn’t going to pry about it because it wasn’t in his nature to dig into people’s personal business. 

“Also you owe me something and I don’t like people letting down their side of a bargain.” Yoochun said as he leaned back against the couch. “But believe me, I’m not just keeping you around for the physical shit, you’ve got something about you that is making me curious. So you’ll just have to deal with my shit until I figure that out.”

He sat comfortably against Yoochun but the other’s words caused him to lift his head in confusion. “Wait, what do I owe you again?” He asked, rummaging through his mind to figure it out. However he couldn’t help but feel flattered at his words. “Wait, so you actually like me?” Jae smiled, teased him as he started to poke his sides in an attempt to tickle the other. “Don’t worry. I can deal with your shit.” He placed in quotations, moving to lay his head on his shoulder. “Question actually.” He said lifting his head again to look up at him. “Do you mind if I clean?”

[tainted-yoochun]

“Tch, what do you owe me?” Yoochun shook his head and let out a growl when Jaejoong teased him. He was still not used to the affection at all and the little closeness they had was given by chance not to just be anytime the other male wanted it. The insinuation that he had much deeper feelings was annoying him and the thought to kick him out crossed his mind. One night of sweaty fun didn’t get anyone a point in the “I like you” category.

“No, I didn’t fucking say that I liked you.” He turned away and let out a huff when Jaejoong laid against him. Yoochun was very much on the fence and this dancing around the bush like attitude was becoming terrible to deal with. “You clean after I get that blowjob you were offering.” He said as he reached for his cigarettes giving Jaejoong a slightly annoyed glare.

[tainted-yoochun]

Punishment

There were never any clear line drawn when he had taken on the responsibility of being a hellhound years ago. Just very simple guidelines, do the contract and nothing more. He had never bothered to step over that line but he was never really worried about breaking the rules either. After all, when you’re only given one rule it’s pretty hard not to break it because as far as he was concerned there was no reason to be worried.

Yet here he was standing at a crossroads. Somehow a mistake had been made and he had lost track of his target. The only way that could have happened to his knowledge was if it had been broken or in this case as he was just learning, they knew their ways around it via magicks. But for some reason, this was his fault even though he had no knowledge of there being a way to mess things up. Usually it was just get contract, get the scent of the target, and send them packing back to the underworld.

Somehow his target knew they had a contract and had managed to slip away from him with a binding spell he didn’t even know existed and had made him lose the scent. Which only meant one thing and he had never experienced it before, the contract was broken before it could be completed. He stood there in his apartment trying to figure out where things had gone horribly wrong and why he had been told to go back to his place.

He quickly puffed on his cigarette feeling something heavy in the air crawling up on him as though he had done something terrible. Why was this his fault? He didn’t even know this could happen. Yoochun tried to pace about but it only made him more nervous as though something out there would perceive it as him trying to flee. All he could do was stand there until he could find out what was going to happen but a few minutes soon turned into an hour he didn’t want to wait anymore.

As he finally headed back towards his bedroom the whole apartment’s aura shifted and he froze as he felt something powerful enter the room. They didn’t even need a door and that cold heavy darkness that he had only seen once before long ago made itself known again. “Look...” Yoochun turned only to face an indescribable shape made of pure darkness and power. “...I don’t know why you’re upset. I didn’t do anything wrong.” He tried to bargain but he could tell just by looking at the creature that there wasn’t a way out of this.

Suddenly the silence in the room was broken as his head was filled with sharp pain and screams that brought him to his knees. It was a cacophony of words that stabbed into his thoughts explaining what had gone wrong. Some of it was hard to make out through the pain but what he could tell was being repeated over and over in languages he couldn’t understand yet some of it he could.

Next time you’ll know what to do because nothing will go wrong again.

“Holy shit... that’s fucking... terrible...” He managed to pant out as he twisted his fingers into his hair pulling at it trying to stop all the noise going through his head. Yoochun looked up at the figure with his eyes their true deep red as he tried to reason with the creature that had bestowed him with his current nature. “How?” He asked as he attempted to find a way to end this as quickly as possible.

But still there was no explanation and the darkness before him did something he had never done before. It grabbed him and in that moment he felt as though he had been pulled apart from the inside as his head was filled with a spell to combat those who knew magicks and he could tell it was something that a human mind could never come up with.

Don’t forget this.

“I won’t! Let me go!” Yoochun pleaded as he started to taste blood knowing that the pain he was feeling wasn’t just a sensation but something terrible being done to him. The tearing worked its way through his body and he out a pained cry as it felt like it was clawing its way out of his chest. The creature screamed into his mind and the noise was so terrible that he blacked out unable to take anymore.

He was unsure how long he was out for but all he could hear as he drifted in his subconscious was about that spell and how there would be a reminder of his mistakes. Yoochun finally awoke hours later and thankful the creature was gone but right as he tried to get up his got a sudden reminder that it wasn’t just all in his head. His whole chest and stomach burned and he looked down to see blood soaked into his shirt.

“What the fuck...” He quickly removed his shirt and stared at the ancient rune that was carved and burned onto his chest. He slumped back onto the floor feeling dizzy and sick to his stomach. The point had been made and now he had a reminder to not mess up on his contract even if it was beyond his control. He now knew there was line drawn for him and he’d never make a mistake like that again.

[tainted-yoochun]

Contract

[tainted-yoochun]

He thought the scent of the sorceress before was unbearable but now it was downright terrible. Something about the way she carried herself now was really putting him off to the point where he was ready to no longer listen to her. The problem was she had a contract and he had to do as she wished until Taemin was delivered to her. Yoochun couldn’t hold back the irritated growls and frustration as she ordered him around as though he was just a slave to her.

Apparently Colette was not very familiar to the terms of a contract and he would have to fill her in. Hellhounds weren’t playthings to those they have a contract with. They have one task, complete the contract either by delivery or by taking the soul back to the underworld and this was quickly becoming something entirely different with the way she was treating him. But the moment the witch was set down all the rules changed and the contract was over.

He stepped back and was about to put her in her place but apparently her conflict with the witch was way more important than anything he was going to say. He didn’t care too much that he had left the witch in that condition what bothered him was taking it too far. When a fight was over it was over and you didn’t kick someone who was down unless they deserved it. The heated scent of blood and feeling the tension escalate was enough to tip him over the edge.

“Be gone?” Yoochun tilted his head back and spoke to her as though he was a member of royalty which fit since this bitch needed to be put in her place. “Fucking leave us?” He glared at her with deep red eyes and crossed his arms. “I don’t think you understand how this works.” He took a step towards her and pointed at her as azure flames began to lick at the walls. “Contract is over. Watch your mouth, bitch. You can play your sick little games with this kid when I’m gone but I decide when I leave, not you.”

[museaspect-archived]

2018 feedback anon/nonanon

[ it’s four days into 2018 and i wanna hear from my followers. if you guys can take the time and just either give me feed back/suggestions/etc on what you’d like to get off your chest or i don’t know, anything, i’d love to hear from you. i give you free reign except for rude, nasty comments. i’m looking to try and better myself and my partnerships. i’ll post this a few times to hopefully hear from at least one of you! ]

[tainted-yoochun]

Yoochun finished his food with little conversation while he ate. He got up taking his own plate to the sink before looking back at Jaejoong. Granted, there were only a few moment that he was annoyed with his presence but it wasn’t quite enough to put him off quite yet. He walked back to the couch and put his hand on Jaejoong’s shoulder to get his attention. “I’m not against it until you put me off you can stay as long as you wish.” 

He sat down next to him on the couch and tilted his head. He was curious about why he wanted to stay. The day they had together had been less than eventful but then again perhaps there was something else keeping this man from going back home. He wasn’t going to pry about it because it wasn’t in his nature to dig into people’s personal business. 

“Also you owe me something and I don’t like people letting down their side of a bargain.” Yoochun said as he leaned back against the couch. “But believe me, I’m not just keeping you around for the physical shit, you’ve got something about you that is making me curious. So you’ll just have to deal with my shit until I figure that out.”

[tainted-yoochun]

-

My brain just really hurts lately because I’m swallowing back a lot of frustration at work. It’s not that I hate my job, I love my job, I really do. Just people there are pushing me towards possibly making a choice or I’ll end up screaming at someone. Just a lot going on and I’m trying to process it properly before I lose my mind. 

I’ll get over it soon enough if things hopefully change soon.