Here I am again, trying this whole blog thing. I’m terrible at it, my attention span is shit, but I feel like this attempt means more than it has for me in the past. I’ve had so many moments where I’ve just felt like not going on anymore. Small roadblocks have become huge hurdles for me in continuing on. I wake up on certain mornings wondering if I even want to do this anymore, I think of places I can crash my car and contemplate if I would die or only be injured. Ultimately I have worked extremely hard to keep myself from giving into that urge. But saying all that, I have had more moments where all my walls have fallen and bawled and let go of all hope that I may have had leading up to that point. I’m lost and I’m hoping to find some solace in some of my musings. I don’t plan on many followers as this is mostly for me, but I do hope that my thoughts are able to bring some clarity to not only myself, but also to anyone that may read this. So here I go, delving down the rabbit hole once more to find my wonderland...