reminders & regrets | stephen strange x reader
pairing: stephen strange x f!reader
word count: 1,208
description: you and stephen both have different ideas of what it means to be safe, especially when it comes to your four year old daughter… and even more so when the activity in question involves messing around on the ice in the sanctum
requested by: @accioptterv
warnings: angst, a good ol’ married couple argument, hurt/comfort at the end
this is literally the first request I’ve ever received on anything, so bask in it, my friend. you were part of a momentous event in my life. also, I hope you like how it turned out, and I’m sorry to have kept you waiting!
I watched with contentment as the energetic child danced about the place, slipping occasionally on the ice that covered the flooring. Stephen and Wong had, once again, forgotten to renew the seals which was why such things were as they were. The sanctum would be a winter wonderland for the next couple of days.
“Mama, look!” she called, sliding across the room and landing at my feet in a fit of giggles.
I crouched, heart warming at the sight of the girl. “Hello, my little figure-skater. Are you stuck?”
She clawed at the ground, trying to regain her footing. “No!”
I chuckled and helped her up. “Stubborn, just like her father.”
“What was that?”
“Daddy!” Donna scurried over to her father, who tensed and caught her by the shoulders. “Mama said you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Everything was worked out,” he replied warmly, yet his voice was strained. “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t be running on the ice.”
“Oh, Stephen, she’s just having fun,” I said, throwing him a carefree smile to put him at ease. “It’s not everyday the sanctum is turned into a skating rink, might as well make use of it.”
He said nothing, his shoulders taut with tension.
Donna was oblivious to this as she resumed her clumsy sliding, screeching with laughter as Stephen’s cloak flew over to her and began to lead her around, as well as spinning and chasing her. She was its second favourite person in the world, not even myself making it that high up on the list, but I didn’t mind one bit. How could I, when it kept her happy? I was heartened by the sight of the two playing, until Donna lost her hold on the cloak and fell to her knees.
Before she was even able to confirm if she was alright, Stephen was marching towards her, picking her up in his arms. “Okay, that’s enough. Bed time.”
I gaped at him. “She was fine!”
“Yeah, daddy.” She pouted at him. “I was fine!”
He grunted, his cloak returning loyally to his shoulders. “Be glad she is. Honestly, I can’t believe you, Y/N. You’re supposed to be the responsible one!”
I took a step back, sucking in a quick breath. How dare he? How dare he imply that I cared nothing for Donna’s safety? Then, I shut my eyes, composed myself, and approached my daughter. Brushing the hair out of her face, I kissed her forehead, avoiding the gaze of the man holding her. “You go to bed good for daddy, okay, Donna?” She nodded with a smile that said she wasn’t at all concerned with whatever had just happened between her parents. I inhaled and turned my attention to my husband, eyes hard. “You better have a good explanation for this. I’m going to bed. Don’t come in until you’re ready to treat me, your wife, with a little more respect.”
I held back any other visible signs of my irritation long enough to shut myself into the room we shared, seating myself on the bed, hands clenched together. I glared at the wall across from me, thinking about what I’d say when he came up. Did he really think I was irresponsible? I’d done everything in my power to make sure that little girl grew up safe. I hadn’t taken my eyes off of her the entire time she’d been on the ice. She’d fallen a few times, sure, but nothing bad enough to warrant the treatment Stephen had just given me.
When Stephen eventually showed himself, I was still sitting, my back towards him. I’d calmed myself enough to not start shouting at him the moment the door shut, but still had that undying spark of indignation behind my sternum. It gnawed at me, yet I didn’t give in to it. There were certain sacrifices one had to make when trying to keep an open mind in an argument. As a show of peace, I let him get the first word in.
“She’s asleep.”
I sighed and stood, turning to face him. “I hope you plan on addressing what happened down there.”
His jaw clenched. “Nothing happened.”
“Then why would you tell her to get off the ice?” I asked, my tone loving yet firm. “She wasn’t hurting anyone.”
“She wasn’t safe.”
“Safe?” I barked out a laugh, throwing an arm into the air. “Stephen, we were both right there!”
His expression hardened, and he swung his hands outwards to emphasize a point. “I was right there, and my sister still died!”
I froze. Stephen groaned and stalked over to the bed, slumping down and burying his face into his hands. I slowly approached, placing a hand at the nape of his neck and scratching gently. “I didn’t know that.”
His head rose, and I sank into the bed next to him. “I’ve been trying to forget.” I said nothing, only reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He wouldn’t open up if I prodded too much. That, I knew. After a long moment, he took a deep breath, and began to speak.
“We were young,” he whispered. “We were also close. Honestly, we were all each other had.” Another pause. “Looking back, I don’t know how I failed to save her. She was playing on the ice of some frozen lake, and… it… it cracked.” His eyes slipped shut. “I tried to save her, but I was too late. Like I said, I failed.” He turned to look at me, a single tear falling. “I can’t — no, I won’t let the same happen to this Donna. Our Donna.”
This Donna. Our Donna. Meaning the name had been chosen in memory of his late sister. That was something I hadn’t known until then. I leaned forward and kissed away the tear. “I understand. You only wanted to avoid losing someone else you care about.”
He nodded, sniffling, swiping at his cheeks with the heels of his palms. I could tell he didn’t trust himself to say anything else.
“I just wish you would’ve told me,” I practically pleaded, positioning myself in front of him as much as I could without falling off the bed. “You are such a good father, Stephen, but sometimes I wish you would share these things beforehand so I can see where you’re coming from. Otherwise, it’s a little hard to see your point of view, and then I get mad. My own father was never really the protective type, so I… I just get confused sometimes.”
After a moment, he sighed. “Alright, fine, I’ll be more open with you from now on.” He was silent for some time after that, the look in his eyes distant. “Sometimes it feels like we’ve cursed her by naming her Donna, but… I couldn’t imagine her being named anything else.”
“It’s not a curse,” I said softly. “You named her after someone you love.”
“Loved.”
“Did you ever stop loving her?” Stephen began to say something, then stopped. “She’ll always be with you, Stephen. Even if it’s not in this life.”
His chest expanded with a breath. “She would’ve loved you.”
I smiled softly. “If she’s anything like our little Donna, I don’t doubt I would’ve loved her, too.”