I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore…. I’m currently 6 months pregnant and I’ve been trying so hard to be strong and not let things get to me for the sake of my baby but it’s so hard… I’m being tested on so many different levels… From being cheated on, to sitting back and watching this relationship fail on rebuilding trust because of female work colleagues, to being compared to other women. I just don’t want this life anymore. I’m not happy. I’m constantly sad and every time I voice how I feel, I get stepped on and get shit for it because how I feel doesn’t matter in this life. I get called a sook for crying and being emotional, get called annoying for having feelings and get yelled at for trying to express how I feel. I’m constantly questioning myself do I want to keep living like this? And tbh the truth is I don’t, I want out. I know I don't need him, and I know I can raise this baby alone. Everything about this relationship is the complete opposite to what I ever envisioned for myself. Firstly I never thought I would ever get into a relationship with someone who has two kids with their ex wife still being very involved (living together during the time), but I learnt to accept it and I ended up loving his kids so much. Secondly, I never thought getting my first house with a partner for the first time would mean his entire family was moving in with us, not to mention their two dogs which has totally ruined the yard and has pretty much restricted us from using the yard which I was really looking forward to using with the kids and to relax during my down time. But not once did we get a chance to enjoy this massive milestone together. Thirdly, falling pregnant and constantly being accused of cheating and reminded that the dad doesn’t think he’s the dad... Like how much more fckd up can my life get right? It’s so messed up that it sounds like a god damn movie. To constantly go through every day trying to be positive mentally and physically (for everyone else) but deep down these thoughts just keep coming back to me and making me realise how unhappy I really am. Am I just trying to cover up the reality of it by avoiding what I'm really seeing or feeling? Or do I just keep hoping and hoping that things will eventually get better? Do I stay until the baby arrives and see if things will be different? Or will it just mentally ruin me even more doing everything that I’m already doing plus taking on a new born with no help? When will I be strong enough to leave.....















