from JB's basement

this blog is not for kids. you've been warned.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

so soon, I'll be leaving JB's basement. (try not to cry wifey). 

I'll be reverting this back to talesfrommyparentsbasement & leaving it alone, for now.

I'll be tumbling here, from now on. kthanksbye.

[bizzyinindy]

I hate these people.

[its-xoxo-a]

She lies. She loves us and Christmas parties. Clearly, I love bows.

xoxo, A

[talesfromjbsbasement]

It also kind of looks like you're touching my boob, A. :)

[bizzyinindy]

36%, .36, 12/33

That’s the percentage, decimal, and fraction of kids in my class that went home with lice.

Let’s not talk about the school.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

I will seriously kill you. Have you seen my hair?! It's like Disney World for lice. 

[bizzyinindy]

Vlog 1!

This blog is where Michelle and I discuss/share a memory from the other person’s perspective.

There’s a nice chuggler clip in there and quite a bit of laughing.

Thanks HithertoKT for the suggestion.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

So JB & I are both super paranoid that her landlord is going to figure out I'm temporarily living here that we both individually decided we'd just tell him we're dating. And when explaining this to our friends JB said the following.

"I was mentally preparing for a mouth kiss all day."

[talesfromjbsbasement]

"Shut up. I'm going to kill your in your sleep."

Not if your heater does first.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

hold on...I think I hate you.

JB after seeing my new theme.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

JB: which colors should I use?

Me: What are you making again?

JB: Booties

Me: Well, you keeping changing your mind. I think you should knit yourself a vibrator.

JB: Michelle!

[talesfromjbsbasement]

JB on her crocheting...(as she undoes whatever she was making for the 100th time...)

JB: the only stuff I've finished is in the corner.

Me: so basically you just need something to do with your hands? You should take up masturbating.

JB: GODDAMNIT, MICHELLE! (shifty side-eye).

[talesfromjbsbasement]

Me: I have to listen to my christmas playlist on my way to work, cause staying here you wouldn't even know it's the holidays. I can't decided if it's because your a grinch or the anti-christ.

(Anne also weighed in via text)

Anne: I'd wager that JB is a love child of both the antichrist AND the grinch.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

JB: I'll turn on your space heater. But you're only a guest for one more day, then you're on your own.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

I'VE MOVED OUT OF MY PARENT'S BASEMENT...and into JB's basement. Just temporarily until I find a place. And though I can feel none of my extremities, I am very thankful for her hospitality.  

[talesfromjbsbasement]

me: did you two eat that whole loaf of bread?!

momma sue: I only had two pieces.

poppa greg: I have a problem, OK?!

[talesfromjbsbasement]

me: hey, can I have some of your wine?

momma sue: hell yeah! it'll make you feel better. look at me!

[talesfromjbsbasement]

me: how how is she?

mommma sue: 27. 28, maybe 30. 33.

me: OK, don't hurt yourself

momma sue: I'm going to stab you.

[talesfromjbsbasement]

you know what I'm going to do when I'm dead? I'm going to wait until you're my age and then I'm going to haunt your ass.

tipsy times with momma sue...

[talesfromjbsbasement]

what I've learned this lenten season...

giving up wine during the week makes for some sloppy motherfuckers on friday night.