Super Awesome Chocolate Coated Chewy Centered MONOMEATS Write-up by Bish
The night of Thursday, 26th April â Inspired to spite Pez in that dayâs bowtie vs tie discussion, I grab my ties and spend 2 hours of my life tying multiple ties in various knots in an attempt to make one of them look neat and tidy. My teamSpeak name for the night was âBish hates tiesâ. People would ask me âWhy do you hate ties, Bish?â and I would reply with âWell, let me tell you!â and rant about how I can never get a good looking knot. That was a night well spent.
MEAT DAY, 7:40 AM â I get a message from Rize saying heâs still sitting in Canberra freezing his butt off because his bus is late. He apologises in advance for both being late and possibly waking me up, but Iâm all âIâm not Blaghman, friend, I wake before noon!â Itâs funny because Blaghman.
9:45AM â And Iâm off! Half dressed in my collared shirt and jeans, I put my waistcoat, monocle, bowtie, tie and red hoodie (for good measure) on a coathanger and put it on a hook in my car that I did not actually know existed. I stop for petrol on the way and the station guy is all âLook at this jerkâ but I wish him well regardless.
10:45 AMish â I manage to find a small, dark, mouldy corner in the carpark and think this is the best place to park ever, so I do. I then grab the rest of my clothes and start dressing up in said dark, mouldy corner. Awkward moment when the owners of the car parked next to me come back to their car and see me putting on my fancy gear. Theyâre all âLook at this jerkâ.
10:55 â I make it up to the Monorail station and stand around and lean awkwardly on railings. Thereâs a gym right next to the Monorail station, so as I stand there, people trickling in and out of the gym in their singlets and shorts stare at me going âLook at this jerkâ.
11:20ish â I eventually spot Ruffles and Nova and for a few minutes we mock the Monorail travel recommendations. #35 shows up, gearing up with a waistcoat, tie and pocketwatch with chain and clip. Fluâs on-time (for once, but still later than me), in a most excellent red and black ensemble. Mashaaaaaaaa and Powalen show up, and I point to Powalen and Iâm all âMAWT!â even though he is not Mawt and Flu asks âWhyâd you say Mawt for?â and Iâm all âI donât know!â, true story. Pantsman shows up and Flu asks ye olde question âWhoâs this guy?â (paraphrased), and Pants then introduces himself, saying that he probably should have done that first. Hah hah hah, who does that, thatâs silly. (As a side note, apparently I introduced myself properly this time 3/3 times. Winning.) And then I left to pick up Rize. I kicked my tophat over to Nova who disprespectfully kicked it back. You do not kick a manâs hat, sir.
12:09 PM â Rize calls me saying thatâs heâs somewhere not on a bus in Sydney presumably and that heâs lost and confused and he starts weeping softly. I reassure him that Iâll be there shortly and start singing âDancing Queenâ to him to soothe his fears. A minute later, I look at a hobo curled up on the cold, cold ground, sucking his thumb and say Hi. Rize springs up and we head off into Central because screw walking 1.5KMs to Town Hall. He pops a Blue V on the train, and I rant about how they advertised Blue V, considering no one is going to actually see they drink before they down it. He later describes the flavour as âFruit punch gone wrong⊠but not necessarily in a bad wayâ. Throughout the trip, Pez and Flu berate me for being late. VERY FUNNY, FUNNY MEN
12:30 probably â Back at the station and again, berated for being late, and forced to rush myself into buying a Monorail ticket. Maybe I wanted to savour the experience, guys. But you ruined my ticket buying experience. Inside the monorail station (yes, that is a time stamp) â Me: HI SHIGGY! Shiggy: HI Me: How are you? Shiggy: Very well. How are you? Me: Good, thanks. Because we are gentlemen. And then he criticised me for not wearing a bowtie. So then I put my bowtie on. And then someone criticised me for having both my tie and bowtie on. So I took my bowtie off. And then later on someone criticised me for not wearing my bowtie and I had an aneurysm.
On the monorail â Powalen: Wow, this is exactly like being on the train I took to get to the city. â 2 minutes pass - Me: Yeah, Iâm just going to say, this is kind of boring. Apparently the other carriage had equally as much fun. We exchanged quips with an older couple in the same carriage as us, who seemed equally unimpressed. And then when we got back to GV, we got off and decided to wait for Freyr. As Ruffleberg said, getting off the Monorail was the best part.
No longer on the monorail â We thought about getting lunch, but decided to wait for the others, so we returned to awkwardly hanging around outside the Monorail station. And then I wandered off to find a cupcake. Which I did! And returned to the station to find no one there, until #35 appeared and told me they had gone to hang outside Kinokuniya because Ruffleberg told Freyr the station was sort of opposite Kinokuniya. So we hung around there for a bit and sat on the ground like hobos, tophat in front of us, hoping someone would throw spare change in. No one did. I wrote up my Revengeance Cupcake in the meantime.
âDid⊠you tell Freyr to meet us in front of Kinokuniya?â I asked Ruffleberg. ââŠYou know, now that I think about itâŠâ he started, and I headed down to the station to make sure she wasnât alone at the station wondering where everyone was. So turns out she was alone at the station, possibly wondering where everyone was. I said Hi from over the barrier and gave her her cupcake, but then the monorail came around and I took the cupcake from her because thereâs no food allowed on the monorail. So the pro-Monorail group decided to keep going for a third time, as I headed back up to Kinokuniya to tell everyone else that we werenât eating anytime soon. Except me. I ate the cupcake.
1:15 PM â We head down towards the Monorail station to meet up with the monorailers and meet them on the way there. We hang around in the middle of the corridor blocking all the paths until we decide to head up to Ichi-Ban for lunch. But apparently that was going to take half an hour to seat us, so we headed back down towards Wagamama. Someone made a Rocketman comment about me ordering and knowing the proper ceremonial ways of serving tea, which Morkai wanted to take a picture of as I spilled said tea on my right leg. I yelled from across the table that Shiggy looked like a Mormon with his white shirt and black tie to which he said âOKAY?â to. Pez said something but no one cares. Nom photo!. Also this. Effluvius didnât know what to order, and as he started panicking, I asked the kind waitress for recommendations, to which she offered none at all, so he ended up getting the Seafood Ramen. You can find my Wagamama food review . And as we(I) tallied up the money for the bill, some jerks (Rize and âFlu) decided to ruin my money arrangement scheme much to my dismay.
After lunch â We split off into two groups, the people who werenât staying overnight and those who were (+ me because Rizeâs stuff was in my car). Apparently Pez canât tell the difference between $14 and $12. I query Pez about his tophat, cane and bowtie, and remarks that they are disgustingly cheap. I refuse to believe and request that he bring it out when we grab our stuff from our respective cars, and he politely complies. WOOOOOOOOOW that cane was a piece of crap. We walked to the Monorail station to shorten our trip very slightly, but split up into two groups because the Monorail was full (somehow). As I hung out with Rize and Hugo for the next monorail, I leaned on the cane and it just snapped.
On the Monorail (again) â Pez rings me up. Pez: Where are you guys? Me: On the monorail! Pez: You know to stop at the stop outside Paddyâs Markets? Me: Yes, we were intending to stop there, thanks. Pez: Are you still intending to stop there? Me: Well, no, since youâre badgering us about it so much! Pez: [Sometimes I just tune out when Pez says things because, you know, what are the chances he is saying anything important. So Iâm sure he says something here] Me: Stop nagging me, MOTHER! Etc etc
Off the monorail, on the way to the âhotelâ â and then we walked. And saw this. Wat. Many men unclothed in that room. Except for myself and Pez, who were stupid enough to keep our outfits that didnât breathe very well on. And then we headed back to Galaxy world, through automotive means, rather than the overrated art of âwalkingâ. Turns out the others were busy declaring their territory with their newly formed hat gang.
Galaxy World â I walked in when I noticed the non-dropping-off-crap-at-the-room people sitting at a Reserved table. âIs that⊠for you guys?â I say, indicating at the little reserved sign. âNope.â ââŠOkay then.â I said Hi to Ben White who had apparently appeared along the way, and we tipped our hats to each other, like gentlemen. Apparently Strange was sad that there was no photos of dapperness thus far, so I think Freyr and âFlu suggested I post dapperly, which gives us where I question what that is even supposed to mean. Harli then pipes up with âI want a cupcake!â to which Freyr agrees and is all mad that I ate her cupcake and I was all â/o\â because she is terrifying so I ran off to find some cupcakes. I pass Pez, Rize, and Ben at EasyWay, berating Pez about the EasyWay/ChaTime argument we had at a previous Meat, and, get this, he actually admitted he was wrong. Crazy! So anyway, Iâm roaming around Market City food court, and this one guys gives me the stink-eye as I look through his muffin display to see if there were any cupcakes. I ask him if he has any cupcakes, and he very angrily tells me he doesnât. I honestly donât know what I did to offend him. I continue my cupcake quest, heading all the way to the bottom floor, and just when I think no one sells any cupcakes, the juice place becomes my saviour. I order three cupcakes for good measure, and head back up to Galaxy World. I bump into Freyr fairly quickly and try to appease her rage with a cupcake offering, but she is only enraged further to discover that I have mishandled said cupcakes and that now the icing of her cupcake was stuck to the paper bag. Fortunately, with surgical precision, she is able to peel it off and re-attach it to the main cake body. Now calmed, she heads off as I try to flee in the opposite direction just to make sure. Unfortunately, I bump into Harli who now laments her lack of cupcake. I offer her one, and Iâm subjected to a hug because I was too slow to dodge it. I never was very good at QTEs. And then I ate the third cupcake.
GW SHENANIGANS - I think it was Powalen vs Nova at air hockey, I wander over and the puck come flying at me. I think we need to calm down when playing that, guys. - Everyone suddenly gets excited for bumper cars so I tolf Pez and Flu who were pew-pewing. Pez shoves the gun at me and runs off. I play in his stead, but I am somwhat more interested in my cupcake. - Shiggy, Powalen and Masha manage to miss the entire point of Arcade racers by playing Initial D, which is in Japanese so they are unable to find out how to link play. - Spiting Pez by getting some ChaTime tea. - Shiggy has some piss-poor effort at asserting his Hammer King dominance. - Time Crisis 4âČs red gun is terrible. - âPretty good⊠for a white guy.â â Some jerk talking about Ben Whiteâs B-ranked dancing. (That person was me) - Some asian kid in a red hoodie passed by. I was told to run up to him and tell him he is looking at his future. - Shiggy and Freyr crammed themselves into the little kids rides that move back and forth slightly. Why someone has not posted a picture of this yet is beyond me. - More bumper cars. Harli rammed these two little kids caught up in the group first, and then Shiggy smashed into them a few times as well.
Ruffleberg left to pickup Batgirl from somewhere and we all headed out to decide on a place for dinner. Apparently I abused Pez (doesnât sound like me) so much so that he had to stand on a bench to preach to us and a few of his followers kneeled at his (stunted) presence, somewhat alarming the lady sitting on the same bench. We headed down to the ground floor and watched as the anal security guard yelled at a kid tying up his shoelace on the escalators, and then proceeded to loiter because that is what we do. Turns out Pantsman had had enough of us and started to head off, which was very coincidental because Effluvius bolted off because he had seen Ruffleberg and Batgirl wander past us. So like, Iâm just going to put this out there: I have never seen Batgirl and AlexPants in the same room together.
I start limping off, and I guess everyone else took that as a cue to start heading to dinner and because we are the best at planning things, we end up split between Yardhouse and the pie place outside. We seat ourselves and I wander off without a word to find some tape to fix Pezâs cane. Of course, when I get back I get sassed that I only got packing tape rather than duct tape, but after a short discussion, we figure out that packing tape is the new measure of wealth. Some of our food starts coming in and someone thought itâd be a great idea to take a photo at that time. Some people posed. I did not. (Names to faces, for anyone who was asking) Then some a-hole stole Harliâs bag. Ass. And at this point we said bye to Harli and Mr Harli.
So on a subdued note, we headed off to the drinking part of Yardhouse where Pez shouted us a round. I think he wanted something from us. After almost hitting a man in the face with Pezâs cane, those of us who were standing right in front of the ordering drinks area place thingy decided to move to another corner of the room. Eventually the rest of the group would join us in our corner. Things that happened: â Effluvius was kind enough to get me a drink, to which I requested âA glass of water with exactly two ice cubes in itâ. â Nova threw my hat at me and knocked over my glass of water with exactly two ice cubes in it /o\ â A number of us had turns at trying to âwearâ my monocle. ITS NOT EASY â What is that on the back of Rizeâs head â http://twitpic.com/9eowvy â Doc Whatâs dapper picture â http://twitpic.com/9eox46 â Fluâs enraged dapper picture â http://twitpic.com/9eoxs2 â Bishâs flattering dapper picture â http://twitpic.com/9ep4eu â Pezâs âIâm trying to poopâ pose â https://twitter.com/#!/frejyr/status/196186121699463168/photo/1 â Fluâs action pose â https://twitter.com/#!/frejyr/status/196186267472510976/photo/1 â Pez has grey hairs â https://twitter.com/#!/frejyr/status/196188842766774272/photo/1 â Unwarranted hat â https://twitter.com/#!/frejyr/status/196190429467787266/photo/1 â We pick Pezâs brain â http://instagr.am/p/J9gsUoL8jy/ â I think there was a spider over there â https://twitter.com/#!/frejyr/status/196185751636017152/photo/1 â Mashaaaaaa left so we farewelled him by shouting âMASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAâ
We then migrated to Charlie Chanâs. Things happened. We do not speak of Charlie Chanâs anymore. Ben left us, but then we all headed the same way. Aaaaaaaaaaawkward.
So as we headed down George Street, some of the group thought itâd be a super idea to visit a sex shop. I visited the pie shop next to said sex shop. So I was limping with my cane up to Pie Faceâs counter, when this guy who was in the middle of getting a seat for himself sees me and stops and offers me the seat or to get out of my way or something. I insist that heâs right to take the chair and very awkwardly thank him for his consideration and get my pie. I buy my pie and it turns out everyoneâs had their fill of sex shop, so Freyr steals my cane and we start heading off to Liquorland, apparently. Outside Liquorland, people start hugging me for no reason, and because of my bum leg, Iâm unable to run away. So I stand there, sobbing on the inside. Batguy proves he has a most excellent face for wearing monocles. Stocked up on booze, ice cream and Shapes, we head back to the room, very wisely taking Taxis this time. Freyr is displeased at my presence and tries to kick me out of the moving taxi at one point. Late night room shenanigans: â Pez mocks the guy from M83 who is guest hosting on RAGE â Everybody starts boozing up (ALCOHOLICS, ALL OF THEM) whilst I make a cup of tea. â Everytime I turn the kettle on, it triggers the surge protector on the power board. Safe. â Batguy uses the bed frames to open his bottle of Rekorderlig. He scratches the frames, but similar marks on other bed frames seem to indicate this is a common practice. â One More Time by Daft Punk comes on RAGE. Best. â I am probably a bit too excited when Karma Chameleon by Culture Club comes on RAGE â I go downstairs to let âFlu and #35 in and manage to fail at opening the room door, so I tumble through when Shiggy opens it from the other side. â Pez is enraged that we refuse him to tell him how old âFlu is, even though he has mentioned it before over several different Meats. â I kind of think this is a bit creepy â http://s29.photobucket.com/albums/c268/cronotriggr/Monomeat%20-%2028th%20April%202012/?action=view¤t=5ab77b0d.jpg â #35 heads off and we bid farewell â Shiggy, Ruffleberg, Rize, Batgirl and I head out for some 1AM Oportos â Batgirl stands in Oporto amusing herself by swishing her dress. â There are cops outside the hotel. Discussion with Shiggy about if you they were all getting murdered in the middle of the night, the cops might be able to stop the murderer before they killed them all. âŠIt seemed funnier at the time. â I eat my Oportoâs on the floor â Pez, now with a bajillion coasters from Charlie Chanâs asks what he should do with them. I suggest he makes sausage rolls out of them and he tells me that is the worst idea ever. Shiggy asks what I said and I reply with âDoes it matter? All that matters is that I made him angry.â Shiggy replies with âHe is a dickheadâ. â In preparation to leave, I start cleaning the place because, you know, Iâm me. â Freyr heads off and we wish her good night. â I start walking out through the door without a word and people get all up in arms over it. I foolishly demand they they come to me if they wanted to say goodbye, and unfortunately Shiggy comes up to hug me. I bro-fist âFlu and shake Pezâs fist and head off. â I head down the stairs, pause, then head back up the stairs and knock at the door to retrieve my top hat, then wish them a good night again and head off. â I head down the corridor, pause, then head back and knock at the door to retrieve my monocle, then head off again. â I head down the corridor, pause, then head back and knock at the door. I hear Pez yell âOH MY GOD, AGAIN!?â as the door opens up. âGood night, guys!â I say and then I head off.
And then I walked another 500 miles to get back to my car to go home. When I wake up, I know Iâm gonna be Iâm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you. When I go out, I know Iâm gonna be Iâm gonna be the man who goes along with you.
Meat awards because apparently this is a thing
Worst person there: Pez for calling everybody the worst person there at the night at least once. Most dapper: Freyr. It is a rare thing for Pez and I to agree on something, but you cannot outdo a corset. Runner up: âFlu, despite claims of his undergarments also colour-matched not being verified. Best New Person: Powalen. Solely because I got a Streetpass off him. Masha, Pants you guys are rad, but⊠Streetpass. Best Worst Picture Ever: WOOOO TERRIBLE 3DS YELLOW FILTER http://i46.tinypic.com/2hhdrt1.jpg





