My friends make me laugh

This will be all about conversations with friends and what's been said, which has made me laugh or cry...Basically, all the stuff I don't feel I could put on Facebook/Twitter under my real name..

[talkingtomyfriends]

I'll be back in a second. By a second I mean 10 minutes.

Colleagues

[talkingtomyfriends]

You’re not fat, you’re distributed

One of my colleagues..

[talkingtomyfriends]

I could spend forever in your eyes, I could spend forever here tonight, and even if you never care for me, I will cherish every memory

Spencer Schmidt - Bittersweet

[talkingtomyfriends]

Elliott Erwitt

[talkingtomyfriends]

Sometimes music can make you want to close your eyes and drift away

Me. 

[talkingtomyfriends]

I'd rather die of mercury poisoning than a ruptured anus

A friend when asked "if you had to choose between.."

[talkingtomyfriends]

I didn't know slow-worms were lizards

A friend

[talkingtomyfriends]

Is a leech a worm?

Some silly girl I overheard

[talkingtomyfriends]

Brighton pie...where they're cutting costs everywhere, including on lettering

[talkingtomyfriends]

The sign for both sexes.

[talkingtomyfriends]

Terrorism and herpes

One of my friends had to go through a terrorism check to ensure he didn't have ties to any terrorist organisations...alongside a medical exam. He replies with

Hopefully they won't find out I gave a terrorist herpes.

[talkingtomyfriends]

Marking territory

On leaving a hickey on my neck, I ask if she's actually just marking her territory...

Oh I did. It's like calling dibs or something.

Genuinley made me giggle.