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stop for a moment wont you breathe with me

im back

This wasn't a real place

but I had been here before

Since I quit all the bad things in my life, the dreams have started to come back. Both a gift and a curse, to be honest. The dreams always start somewhere so close to home, but don't exist in the slightest. Just fragments of reality that my mind often seems to cling to. Last night I traveled to a city near a coast. I don't believe I quite like the ocean like that. It terrifies me. I don't choose where to go in my dreams, but I knew what I wanted to see. I "woke up" on a bench near the ocean. It had to be early hours and there was a soft mist and heavy fog. There was this place in my dreams where I had been before but it wasn't anywhere near this shrouded pass. The side walk neatly paved with cut grass around it. Frogs eerily croaking in the distance. Down this path, it wasn't pitch black. The moon lit the ocean but there were also lights along the path way every 300 steps or so. I just started walking, not sure for how long or where I was going, but I felt like walking. I enjoyed the peace and quiet but nature life seemed to become more active with seemingly each step forward.

So is this a dream or a night terror? I wanted to wake up so badly, and I know I'm asleep but, I couldn't. The anxieties just got louder and louder the further down this path I went. Sure, I could turn back the other way towards the city lights but, I wanted to keep going. I wanted to figure out why the anxieties had risen. I am longing for something. The lights along the path started to erode and fade away. So it got darker towards the heart of this dream. I am not afraid darkness, but the darkness tied with the rambunctiousness of nature, my presumably anxieties, was very unsettling. I kept walking regardless. Even the moon disappeared. I could feel that I was still on this path, the concrete was very distinguishable from the grass or sand, depending on which side of the path I was on. I couldn't tell if there was fog, but the light mist had dissipated. My eyes started to adjust to the darkness. I could see something in the distance but I wasn't sure if I was "hallucinating" or not. I looked back to the distance after a few moments and it was gone. I often look inwards whenever I question my sanity. How reliable is that? But I came to the conclusion that I was real. A goal perhaps? A stopping point? My heart hurts from pumping so hard in this terrifying environment. The anxiety is so strong it could freeze me. I decided I wanted to go to this building that I had spotted in the distance. The "hallucination". I'm halfway there and the ocean starts singing. Everything is intensified. I am scared. The deep breathes. The waves turbulent upon the beach. Why does something so terrifying care where I want to go? The oceans low hums and siren singing is not so tempting with the fear I have. But I keep walking. The building. I am here. It's a neat little building with big windows. It has a little patio area that faces the ocean and a little courtyard on the opposite side. At first I saw a blueish glow moving about. Someone is here? But you don't just announce yourself presence in such circumstance like this. So I waited until I could see the source. You, with the lamp. Secluded in this dark world. I remember every part of your face. Your brown eyes, always so much enough, could take away any thought of negativity I have had. You had skin blessed by the moon itself. I could not believe you were in front of me. I had counted my losses and let you go. You left without so much as a goodbye even though I knew you wanted to. And I'm still so happy to see you. I'm still overcome with this love that I had only felt few times before. I am not obsessed, but I would want to be. Infatuated with the love and kindness you hold in your soul. I've wondered how you have been. We talk but i can't hear the conversation. I just see your beautiful lips moving. Enough to ease all else in the world. Anxiety no longer exists. My heart hurts, not for it pounding so hard but for how full it is. And I always imagine the taste of your lips along with the hurt in your heart. Even though I've never tasted your lips, but have caused hurt in your heart. The audacity, right? And then I woke up.

#dream

cus every time the moon shines, i think of you.

i think we were made too pretty

the end

Heard you got married. Congratulations

Fuck

or just.. let it be

Now or never.

To young, to just let it be

One wish, tell me everything

Literally nothing is better than you

You’re burned in my soul and eyelids

For now, atleast, I’m not

Maybe then I’ll be content

Waiting til time stops

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