T. Amanda Brown

The Mind of Amanda

[tamandabrown]

More pics of my Cloak order! This is my favorite color design! I hope they do more like this! I love it so much!!! 🌌🌈🌃🌑

[tamandabrown]

Got my Cloak Brand order yesterday! Took some pics! This is my favorite drop so far and I look forward to seeing more designs like this! Anyone who knows me, knows that this is my favorite color palette and I'm so happy rn 🥰 Thanks, @therealjacksepticeye

[tamandabrown]

Got my Cloak Brand order yesterday! Took some pics! This is my favorite drop so far and I look forward to seeing more designs like this! Anyone who knows me, knows that this is my favorite color palette and I'm so happy rn 🥰 Thanks, @therealjacksepticeye

[glixbitch]

I think sometimes we all put too much pressure on the community to be this perfect space. For as long as I’ve been here people have said it’s the kindest community out there, that it’s somewhere we call “home” and a “family”. And I do understand the sentiment, I have said and thought those things numerous times over the 1.5 years I’ve been around. But I also believe that making that such a focal point creates a lot of pressure for everyone involved. 

If you put too much pressure on something, it’s going to break. The sheer number of people joining the community and wanting to find their space to appreciate Jack and the channel has and will continue to grow. There are thousands of people on Tumblr alone trying to join in. There is no group of people on earth who could exist together in such numbers and not have some conflict. You’re not going to like or get along with everyone, it’s just not realistic. And that’s fine.

That’s what we need to remember. If you don’t like someone, don’t go spill shit about them on a tea blog. Don’t leave them threatening anon asks. Don’t make indirect posts about them in the tag. You try to understand them, realise that people can have different opinions, sort your issues out respectfully, or you just ignore them. Posting in the tag immediately about how we just need PMA or how the community used to be totally perfect just isn’t very helpful or realistic. 

These kind of encounters are just what existing as a human being involves. Therefore you will see it online too, probably even more so. I’m not saying that no one should call us a family, or that it’s wrong to feel that way, if you do. I just really believe that putting someone, or something, on a pedestal as we have leads to no one being happy. 

TLDR: be nice to each other, listen to people, try to understand their side. Or ignore them. This community can be really great, we’ve all seen it, but we need to remember that we’re all just people too. 

[therealjacksepticeye]

I agree with this post. This community has never been perfect. No community is really because that’s not possible. What we were though was much more understanding than we are now. There seems to be no room for discussion anymore, people just immediately want to point out mistakes and create a stockpile of manipulative ammo and blackmail to use against one another. 

Whenever you write stuff on the internet, not just here or to me. Imagine yourself actually with that person and if you would still say it to them. Imagine being in a room with your fellow community members and still saying it.Would you still want to after actually seeing someone as a person rather than a name online? 

I’m going back to focusing on the good because that’s what I always did in the past. It made me a brighter, happier person. Dwelling on all this negative stuff lately is starting to bleed into my life and make me more cynical and I don’t like that. 

[tamandabrown]

November Charity Stream

I don't know if @therealjacksepticeye has picked a charity for this month yet, but I wanted to make a suggestion if I may...

Since the charity is at the end of this month, preceding the winter holidays when suicide, depression and many other mental illnesses are at their highest rates, I would really appreciate it if we could raise money for a mental health support organization!

If you agree, repost. Have a specific charity suggestion that goes along with this? Share it! Thank you all for your time :)

[tamandabrown]

Jacksepticeye: 7 Years (this is very long, I'm sorry)

I first discovered you in January 2018, but I didn't start watching you until February 14th 2018...

I was near the end of a very hard and toxic relationship that had become long distance after living with them for 4 years because of their inconsiderate and irresponsible actions.

They barely talked to me after they moved away, so I was very lonely on Valentine's day and PewDiePie hadn't uploaded in like 4 or 5 days which had become a part of my daily routine to numb the pain.

I finally broke down and searched for you since I had seen one video of you earlier that year when I was researching DNA tests and I liked it. I've been a fan since that day.

I even got to meet you a few months later in Nashville after your HDWGH show. I ended the toxic relationship a month or so after that and I think that I was able to do that because of meeting you.

The love that you felt towards your fans made me realize that I wasn't loved in my relationship and that I wanted to be loved... REALLY loved. So I decided that I had to love myself enough to walk away from someone who doesn't see my value.

Meeting you has been a pinnacle moment in my life that pushed me onto the right path and now I'm enjoying life more than I ever have! I'm in school for film, honestly, it's what I've always wanted to do and I can't wait to see where this path leads me! 🥰

Thank-You @therealjacksepticeye

[tamandabrown]

November Charity Stream

I don't know if @therealjacksepticeye has picked a charity for this month yet, but I wanted to make a suggestion if I may...

Since the charity is at the end of this month, preceding the winter holidays when suicide, depression and many other mental illnesses are at their highest rates, I would really appreciate it if we could raise money for a mental health support organization!

If you agree, repost. Have a specific charity suggestion that goes along with this? Share it! Thank you all for your time :)

[therealjacksepticeye]

Addressing Concerns About My Editor

Hey everyone. 

I want to talk about the discourse recently regarding my new editor. This has nothing to do with Robin so please keep him out of it and leave him be.

Some context for those not in the know. Recently I hired someone new to help edit the IRL/Non Gaming content on my channel. Main reasons being that it was a lot for Robin to take on alone and also Robin isn’t up to date on meme culture or actively partakes in it so I brought on someone who is. I also just wanted to create more content and having one person edit all of it is a huge strain, especially with an occasional ramp up into 2 vids a day again when I could.

I will admit my screening process for this person was none at all, that’s on me and I should have done better. People went to their twitter and found a bunch of bad tweets, some were edgy jokes while others were “jokes” that I vehemently disagreed with. I brought this up with the person and they agreed that they were bad and deleted them. They were about 16 when they wrote them which normally I would let slide cos God knows I was a fucking idiot at that age but I think that’s a poor excuse in such a connected and social media driven world we’re in now. I had a huge internal struggle about what to do, I took about a week and ultimately told them that I would keep them on but it could absolutely never happen again. They agreed and showed genuine remorse for the tweets and it was clear that that’s not what they actually believe and agreed they were dumb. I wanted to give them a second chance and prove that they could learn and grow and I wanted to be mature and adult about it. Not just cut and run when things got bad. 

However I have ultimately decided to let this person go and not work with them again. Not because of hyper critical nay sayers and “haters” but because some people in this community were genuinely upset about it. They lost faith in me and felt like they couldn’t trust me anymore because it flew in the face of everything I had morally stood for and preached about before and they were absolutely right. I can reason out everything and debate it back and forth all day but at the end of the day if some honestly great people in this communtiy were genuinely hurt by this, then it’s not worth it. I want my channel and this community to feel like a safe place for you to feel like you can be your true self and connect with other people who feel the same. To build each other up and treat each other with respect and have fun and me hiring this person went against all that. So I wanted to give a genuine,honest apology and say that I am very very sorry. No excuses or anything like that,I was wrong and I fucked up. I want people, especially those in the LGBTQ+ community to know that I truly stand with you, now and alwaty.I’m so very sorry if you lost faith and trust in me over this. 

I haven’t been myself lately and coming here these days or most social media honestly fills me with an incredible amount of stress and anxiety. Hiring someone to help with the load was supposed to ease all that but in the end made things a LOT worse. I hear your concerns,I get it. I also miss the older days of the channel when things were nicer and I didn’t have to worry about things as much. The community was nicer and more connected and every day was an absolute pleasure. I promise that I will work harder to get us and the community back to a better place. I’m not a perfect person but I feel like some people, including myself sometimes, expect me to be and that level of pressure and expectation is sometimes too much to meet. I will try my best to find that magic again to create and bring the channel back to a place you’re all proud to watch and be part of. I will need some help along the way so I hope you can permit me some missteps along that journey but here’s to a better time in 2020. 

[tamandabrown]

Got my NEW Cloak Hoodie this week! I love it so much! You can tell that it's well made and it has all of the benefits of a windbreaker without the noise! Plus, I don't have to worry about the rain in this coat because it's also water-resistant! ✨😍💕

@therealjacksepticeye

[therealjacksepticeye]

Hell yeah!! Looks great on you :)

[tamandabrown]

OMG HE REBLOGGED IT! EEEEEEEEE!

[tamandabrown]

Got my NEW Cloak Hoodie this week! I love it so much! You can tell that it's well made and it has all of the benefits of a windbreaker without the noise! Plus, I don't have to worry about the rain in this coat because it's also water-resistant! ✨😍💕

@therealjacksepticeye

[therealjacksepticeye]

Expectations

I wanna talk about the egos for a second. 

They have been by far one of my favourite things that have ever come out of this community and my own brain. I love characters, I love story and I love a good mystery so to have our own lore and plot in this community based around content that I put out there is nothing short of surreal and amazing. Recording let’s plays is awesome but this was something I created and put out there intentionally with high hopes and no one else at the time was doing it and it went over super well. It was incredibly creatively fulfilling. 

However in the mix of all this has come a lot of frustration and headaches too. I am constantly beating myself up over not doing more with them and putting things off because what I want to do with them is so fucking ambitious that I stop myself from trying sometimes out of fear of not living up to it and messing the whole thing up. I feel like I have one good shot at a story with them and don’t want to put out something that doesn’t make sense or is safe or is just badly written and kind of lame. I want it to be GREAT but that’s a really hard thing to do, especially when almost the entire creative process for all of this is resting on me. It doesn’t have to of course but it’s my baby and I want to treat it well so I get frustrated when things don’t go EXACTLY how I want with the characters.

Not only that but people fucking LOVE these characters (which is the sweetest thing in the world) so I want to do them justice for all of you as well. Use them as a way of telling a good story with characters you can relate to and designs/imagery that inspires you. Sometimes those expectations aren’t met or are set WAY too high, far too early and what comes out disappoints some people or isn’t exactly what you wanted either. This constant cycle and back and forth in my head has been a huge creative and motivational road block for me. I have ideas and plot points and places I want all this to go but trying to get there has proven hard for me because again, I don’t want to fuck it up. The stuff that I’m trying to do is also just taking so fucking long to talk through. 

This is why teases have been slow and sparse. All of this is way bigger than I thought it would be initially so thank you for that. I love these characters so so much and I want to see them fly high. I do love all the theorising though and the stories people write about them and how creative you all are. It inspires me. Keep theorising, keep having fun, keep your stories going. I want to have more fun with it and not put so much pressure on it all anymore. 

[tamandabrown]

Well, @therealjacksepticeye , if you need any help on the story let me know. I need your help on a movie that I want to do of you and the egos. It might not go extensively into the background of each of the egos per se, but rather a hypothetical of what part of YOU each one represents... If you're interested in learning more, you know how to get ahold of me! :)

[therealjacksepticeye]

Hi! How’s the work on the documentary going? Just curious

It’s finally moving again. I’ve seen some footage from it and I loved the tone it had. I’m really sorry it’s been taking so long to come out, I wanted it done by now but it just stalled for a long time.

I’m excited for you all to see it. Looking at myself in it is like looking at a different person. Even though it was only last year but a lot of transformation happened for me since then. Which I guess is very fitting for the show and the point behind it

[tamandabrown]

My life has went through so many transformations since then as well! Now when I look in the mirror I almost don't recognize myself bc I've become such a different person! Now I'm confident and I'm doing what I love! Life is good :)

[tamandabrown]

For all of my friends who need help transitioning to the next stage of their life, who need help making that change that they've been putting off, this video is for you! 🌸🙏💗

[tamandabrown]

NEW LOGO FOR THE CHANNEL! ❤

[tamandabrown]

Love this hair right here! 😍

[tamandabrown]

Question For Jack/Seán:

(Though I know that you love all of them) Could you list your most to least favorite ego, considering the ego's stories AND how much you like playing that ego combined? And why?

I know that's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it! Thanks! 💗

@therealjacksepticeye

[tamandabrown]

PMA PRIDE HOODIE!!! 🌈🌸🙏💗🌈

Looks like this will be my Fall Outfit this year! I love how well the Cloak Pride Hat goes with it! These are my favorite colors: Black & Rainbow! I love these SO much I can't even express it with words! Feels great too!

@therealjacksepticeye