ITS CHO BOI

Tam Pham. 2013. Age is only a number. Living life to the fullest and always keeping it real.

[tamfamham]

Get a copy of my friend Tam's new book, How To Land Your Dream Internship. Perfect read for any college student. http://thndr.me/vANbEX

[tamfamham]

every artist’s struggle

[tamfamham]

[tamfamham]

security vs uncertain happiness

i just spent 6 months in san francisco working for a media company

i cold messaged the founder and asked him for advice

he offered me a job 

the next week i signed the offer and slept on his couch for the next 3 months

i learned a lot about media and how manipulative the whole system is

and i learned a lot about myself

the founders told me i’m too nice

too nice to the point where i don’t defend my arguments in fear of hurting someone’s feelings

too nice where i’m not aggressive to get what i really want

too nice where i fall short on my goal as a journalist, not digging deep enough

after my first 3 months, the founders told me to try being a dick

break a girl’s heart

tell someone off

flake on a friend last minute

they weren’t serious about all those things (maybe a few) 

but i got their point

i learned about writing

how to craft a story

how to write something that people actually want to read

how to write a 1,000 word article within an hour

its a shame how all media companies are competeing for the same stupid page views

it ruins journalism

it ruins great storytelling for the audience

and it ruins my enthusiasum to write

i learned what it takes to work in a scrappy environment

no systems in place

no fancy software

no clear insturctions

its sink or swim in startup land

“just go figure it out”

and i did

and i think i kicked ass 

but it’s time to move onto the next chapter

ive been climbing this startup ladder for 3 years now

i have a strong network

i have great opportunities

i have decent skills

but i don’t want it

this is where security vs uncertain happiness comes in

a distant dream of mine is to be an actor

a comedian

not just to entertain people

but to represent asian americans

who go up against white washed hollywood every day

but that dream is so far

im not a good actor

im not funny

im not in LA

all these excuses

this sounds so cliche but what if I never tried?

what if i never went on a single audition

or did stand up

or did an improv show

god dam

my 90 year old self would kill me

i watched this ted talk recently

it said the one thing that all successful people had in common was GRIT

not money

not status

not skill

not natural talent

not connections

it was the perserverance to keep going and never giving up

that sounds like common sense

but it never clicked, until now, where i am in a position to take the safe route

or take the unbeated path

there’s no such thing as overnight success

lebron james started training when he was 7 years old, that was how he became high school all american, and now an MVP

peter thiel started playing chess at a super young age and with many years of diligent practice, he became a national champion

all of the greats spent years on their craft

which means if im going to go down this route

it’s going to be one hell of a ride

like how doctors are in school for 10 years before their practice

it’s going to be a brutal 3 years on my way up

and if i get lucky 

and work hard

ill be somewhere better than i am today

and hopefully more happier

however comedians are notorious for being depressed and addicted to drugs

regardless this is my next step

and i sit here

in san jose writing this

im scared

intimated

helpless

ill be starting from ground zero

no connections

no skills

no nothing

just a passion for comedy

a drive to learn

and a mindset for grit

they say actions speak louder than words

so i can’t wait to read this post in 5 years

and see how far i come

see you soon, hollywood

2017

[tamfamham]

Thanksgiving

I’m never on Tumblr, but I wrote this post 3 years ago (2012) saved in my drafts. Thought I’d share.

---

Thanksgiving is the time of year to reflect on the year and be thankful for all of our blessings. It's the time of year when kids from college come home, when parents don't need to work, and everyone comes together to bond over a traditional dinner filled with different types of food to grub on.  What bugs me is that why can't this feeling of appreciation and gratitude be constant throughout our whole lives? Why must this time of thankfulness come once a year and everyone finally realizes how lucky they really are? It's evident that even the very next day, the same loving and caring people you saw at the dinner table are fighting over the last Ipad at Walmart with another family. People are literally killing each other and dropping all of their gratitude and kindness for cheap bargains. Now I feel like Thanksgiving is just a holiday that companies can capitalize on with their marketing strategy. Now there are Pre-Black Friday sales, constant online bargains, and stores are even opening on Thanksgiving night! They are now luring in customers to line up hours before 8pm on Thanksgiving night to be the first ones in line to enter the stores. Well, the more hours the store is open, the more revenue they'll earn... What company wouldn't take advantage of that?  It just grinds my gears how employees and customers have to sacrifice their Thanksgiving dinner, that ultimate bonding time, for deals they cannot find elsewhere or work they cannot miss.  I don't have any right to tell anyone how to live their life, but I just wanted to share my own perspective on this ancient day of giving. Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone :-)

[tamfamham]

What would a woman think if she walked in?

they say a messy room resembles a messy life. 

I’ve always been super unorganized in high school.

clothes everywhere, nothing ever in the right place, it was downright embarassing.

my dad would tease me

“what if a girl walked in? do you think she would want to stay?!”

my logic was that my room was going to get messy anyways, why bother cleaning?

fast forward to today, was where I had my deepest clean I’ve ever done.

my room is fucking spotless

my closet, beautiful. 

everything is polished, clean, and well put. 

I donated at least 20 bags of items today from my family, and I’m just getting started.

after reading, the life-changing magic of tidying up by marie kondo, I had to ask myself one question for every single item

“does this bring my joy in my life?”

most often than not, no. 

each item has served its purpose

its time

and it was time to move on

old school shirts

old notes

old memories

old photos

old papers

to the trash

its purpose was served

and if it doesn’t bring you joy, discard it

in the book, the author talks about how much attachment people have

with old movie stubs

with old love letters

with old clothes

they could never throw it away

but today, everything felt super empowering

i’ve never been a “cleaner”

thinking it was “unmanly” to clean

but for the past year, I’ve done so many things new

for example, make my bed

such a game changer

lesson learned from cleaning my room

everything has a purpose

once it has served its purpose and it doesn’t bring you joy

discard them

now i only have about 10 shirts

a few jackets

a few jeans

simple basic & minimalistic

i went through draper university

and we camped for 5 days and nights, living off of $20 worth of food in the middle of the wilderness

it taught me a lot about poverty 

survival

being comfortable while uncomfortable

we don’t really need a whole lot to live

and it’s actually a good refresher

to take time out of our normal lives and live frugally for a week or so

off on a tangent now but cleaning is everything. 

a messy room = a messy mind = a messy life

when I have everything tidy and organized, my life is in order.

if you are feeling confused

frustrated

or lost

take 5-10 minutes cleaning your area

you need an environment to help you thrive 

and be at your best state

[tamfamham]

lonliness strikes at the darkest hours.

one day, i’m constantly surrounded by people. 

Living in the same house, eating dinner together, staying up all night.

It was the best. 

It felt like I was never alone.

Until I felt drained

Physically

Emotionally

Mentally

Spiritually

I told myself I needed alone time

I started waking up earlier

Going for a morning run

Reading more

Saying no to going out

Saying no to partying

Saying no to random nights

Going to sleep before 10pm

I needed alone time 

I felt more happier

I was doing me

When I go out to Starbucks or milk tea or anywhere, I secretly hope I don’t see anyone.

The thought of having small talk stresses me out

God dam, I sound anti-social.

I ignored someone today 

I locked eyes with an old friend and I didn’t turn around to say hi

As he was leaving Starbucks, he said Hey Whatups Tam?

Oh shit, small talk again.

But it was more than that. He was excited to see me

He was sick but he still had the voice to talk to me

He congratulated me on my book

He asked how I was doing

Good, I replied

He left shortly after

Dam, he cared for me.

I’m such a jackass. Why didn’t I turn around?

I was hanging with an old friend I haven’t seen in years the other day

We had a good talk

As we walked around the park

She asked, Who are your 5 closest friends? 

Dam, that changes so much for me.

One day I’m in school.  Next day I’m traveling. Another day I’m living with awesome people. The next day I’m at home alone.

Starbucks is my 2nd home.

I don’t know who my 5 closest friends are.

That’s a problem

Katherine was the first person that came to mind

The rest of my friends are scattered across the nation

I don’t get many texts

I stopped trying

I’m been bringing back phone calls

Skype calls

I’ve been driving farther to see people I really want to see

I guess I’m selective

Then again, I am different from most 19-year olds

While their priorities are on parties or school or whatever

I’m at a different galaxy

Not to say I’m some kind of elitest

But we’re on different playing fields

It’s hard to relate

My friends are old-er

They’re just like me

Having an unpredictable schedule

Doing some pretty awesome shit

But at what cost?

Charlie’s friend just committed suicide.

He was loved by many, Charlie says

He overdosed on pills

Faced with lonliness

Charlie regrets not calling him for over a year

I hope that’s not me

Charlie asks, What’s the point of success when you’re not happy? 

That’s a wake up call.

My whole life has been consumed with work, work, work

Writing is fun. Comedy writing is something I’m excited about

I’m coaching people so that’s pretty rad

I’m interviewing some sweet guests

They make me happy

There’s nothing like the physical touch

I miss my bros

In high school when we never gave a fuck

We would hang out every day

We would get speeding tickets for racing

We would go paint balling

We would watch movies together

We would eat out every other day

When we all had no real goals & ambitions and were just living life... that was fucking great.

Is this what growing up is?

Maybe I’m doing it too fast.

Katherine thinks I’m a dad

Everythiing I do, I’m scheduling in on my stupid calendar

Having a to-do list

Fuck a to-do list

I just ran every single day for the past week

Getting into my groove

Then I have these nights of deep reflection and thought

And I binge on junk food

Life is strange

When you want something, you can’t get it

And when you have it, you don’t value it

I don’t think life is moving fast

I think I’m trying to move fast

A life full of success means nothing when I don’t have homies to hang out with every weekend.

I knew this was coming

This was the path I chose

It was going to be tough

These nights were going to be long

Not everyone will understand

I haven’t used tumblr in ages

Wonder who is still on here

Wonder who will even read to the bottom of this page

I hope it’s Katherine

She would have nothing better to do on a weekend

Love you dude, thanks for sticking with me

It’s lonely at the top

and I haven’t even made it to the top

which is why I’m pretty excited for Draper

I’m going to have friends that I actually see every day

I’m going to be living with them

Total immersion

I hope they’re cool

Don’t want to set my expectations so high

Gotta cherish the moments

Gotta skip doing work and do stupid shit again

Man it’s been so long since I’ve done any drugs

Or done anything crazy

My days consists of writing and reading

God dam, I am a dad

We’ll see how this goes

sept 28, i’m coming for you

Time to read a book

[nofvckzgivxn]

[tamfamham]

[tamfamham]

Watsky- Tiny Glowing Screens Pt 2 [Cardboard Castles]

Bite the hand that kills me.

[exgynocraticgrrl-archive-deacti]

Deconstructing Masculinity & Manhood with Michael Kimmel @ Dartmouth College

[no-datee]

Women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego

(via gxlde)

[besupo]

[source: part 1, part 2]

In Australia, call 13 11 14

In New Zealand, call 0800 543 354

In the US, call 1 800 273 8255

In the UK, call 0800 068 41 41

[be-boheme]

Please reblog, there’s only one of each individual and we need them all!

[brighid45]

Always reblog. 

[tamfamham]

@TheStudentHero connects high school students to internships and summer programs Check it out! Seriously. http://hfht.co/THAdv

[tamfamham]

The Great Gatsby - Young and Beautiful

[aristocrator]

[madness-madmess]