Tangent Unbound

Formed in 2011, Tangent of River Valley is the literary and artistic expression group, managed and taught by students of River Valley Charter School, located in Southern California. Tangent Unbound is the brain-child of the artists and authors.

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Title: Almost Ominous Photographer: DragonFlySpy

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Title: Tree Photographer: DragonFlySpy

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Title: Down The Hill Photographer: DragonFlySpy

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Supersonic

Backstage can be a scary place; more than that, a terror. The lyrics flow through his mind, “Have you heard the new sensation?” But are they that sensation? No. They are merely representing. Tuning, rituals, routine checks, and precious supplications are performed before the real performance.

Solomon can hear the gathering around the corner. That moment of self-appreciation comes, only to quickly fade. Great Peace overwhelms him, and his eyes open. The time – now – has come.

Derek, another in the Family, gives Solomon a nod of determination. They all smile and the five of them gear up and head out. All fear lay slain to Peace; anxiety vanishes.

With the lights dim, anticipation is bright. Now on the platform, one final breath follows.

Once their presence is known, the crowd loses their silence. It’s a happy sound. Let’s get supersonic.

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Fear

I fear.

Why do I always fail?

Faith follows me

In the form of friends

But insecurities prevail.

Will she love my tomorrow?

Did I love her today?

I don’t deserve her anyway.

Someone take my sorrow.

Though I am happy

This is clear:

I fear.

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Joyous

You can’t see anything, but you know you’re standing in a spacious, empty area. At least this is what you think. All you can do is stand, unable to make sound and incapable of moving from the fear that has you. You let out a whimper, and slowly start to cry

How did this happen? What happened? You were just another teen waiting to blossom into mature matters. You were just a girl in this giant world – taking it all in, and thanking God. You had friends, loved ones… both the same. Where did they go? Where did you go? You had an imperfect life but you wouldn’t have traded it for any other. Where is it now?

Then you hear something. It’s like the shrieking of a foreign bird in distress. In a scare you lose your footing, but you manage to straighten out somehow. You keep looking forward at the black in front of you. Your mind is very uncertain…

“Is this permanent?”

“What’s going on?”

“Jesus, where are you?”

“Should I move?”

You can’t make up your mind. Simply, you just don’t know.

And then, something familiar appears. But this time, you see it for what it actually is: beautiful, powerful, and valuable. It’s a Light. Dim it shines, but you wouldn’t dare lose sight of it.

The light morphs into something else. All of the sudden the light is a wall of luminance; like a screen. But it isn’t just light. This thing proceeds to project scenes – videos of your life, so to speak. These moments flow by effortlessly. You see yourself laugh, cry, succeed, and fail. And in all of this your family and your friend-family are there. While they aren’t unstoppable, they are never undone. You see that friend that’s always been here, you see the friend that you just met, you see that friend that has your back, and you see that friend that you view as more. Then in the middle of it all… Jesus stands, arms stretched out, presenting Himself for a hug. A smile finds you for the first time in days. You run to Him without restraint.

Then everything is black again. You’re a bit confused, but you lift your head and you can see. You’re at school after hours – the science class, to be exact – and you realize you were asleep. That last friend is sitting next to you and he asks you if you slept well. You reply, “I’m glad to see you.” The two of you smile.

You saw the value in your life, and the value in you. And you were thankful.

~

Dedicated to my best friend

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We Need Help

We’re a desperate breed

Of a beautiful creed

But we think it’s okay

‘Cause we don’t smoke weed

But you’re still on dope

On a downhill slope

You go “come what may”

But I still say nope

You can sell your soul

For half the price

And you think it’s a deal

But we’re men, not mice

We’re on a roll

It feels real nice

It’s a crime to steal

Before we spin, roll the dice

You’re sitting there

In your chair

Out the window pane you stare

Thinking “oh what will it fare”

Thinking you don’t really care

But I know you really do

And this is what I say to you

We all need the freeing sway

We all need the healing Way

We need help

We’re all falling through the sky and

We need help

God is calling, can’t deny and

We need help

You can’t help yourself

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Fade Away Ugly

Faces and bodies are wonderful things

The gift of a smile or a present of dancing language

Can awaken the heart

Another pivotal piece in the soul’s arsenal

And the satisfaction that it brings rings true

Even so, beauty is seen by few

Flowers are permanent

Though society scoffs in vain

They fade with the seasons and death recycles

But will they ever really change?

The rain continually drains the pain

And the instrument of life remains

People die

But they die a lot more when they lie

And when God crafted your face

He Himself smiled

It was a monumental moment, mountains move

He gazed at His child with mercy and grace

Born beneath a provisional sky

Never fight the person set within you

Bones are tied together

But they are not puppet strings

And we may fade away ugly

But we will stunningly continue

Eternity can be measured

Because when I think of love, I never stop

No Earth can take that away

Right and Wrong pull astray

Because water is worth every drop

Eternity can be assured

They say angels are walking around us right now

Living, breathing, dying, flying, all just trying

To make sense of us as we entertain them

But they help us out, I don’t know how

One thing I know

I always doubt what’s real

Because, is fantasy fake

Or is it something you feel?

Out of all I’ve been forced to hear and see

There are two that I refuse to believe

They go, “Nobody really cares”

And, “The best things in life are free”

If no one knows value, I still do

And someone beyond the cosmos

Remembers so much, it would surprise you

Freedom is blessed

I love it dear

We earn it, but we don’t deserve it

Why do we need fear?

So tell me, friends, what is beauty?

Come on, you’re beautiful – tell me

Some say, “Never say never” but they never

Said never to what the world wanted, ever

I don’t even know what they want anymore

And they don’t either

I thought smoke blinded me

But I only see clearer

I’m a believer

And I know one more thing

We may fade away ugly

But we die as we sing

Life never ends! That’s why it’s so pretty

I’m laughing, crying

How could existence be so witty?

So when they ask you about beauty that fades

First question your perception of fleeting

Then scream them this news

With the most modest call

Temporary beauty isn’t beauty, at all.

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Changing Seasons

She sat back in her desk chair and stared out her window. They were still yelling. She shivered, an autumn breeze blowing in from the window. She glanced outside, noting the brilliant colors of the fall leaves. A bluebird hopped among them, searching for a late-morning snack. A door slammed, and then another. An engine started, and receded off into the distance. She turned back to the scene at her window. The bluebird poked his head under the leaves and rooted around. He came up victorious, a writhing worm hanging from his beak. He fluttered up to the bare branches of the old maple, landing near a tangle of twigs and straw. A tiny beak poked out, and its helpless cries barely reached her ears. The bluebird dropped the worm into the waiting mouth of its chick. She sighed and smiled a sad, quiet kind of smile. The breeze brushed her hair away from her face and brought with it the scent of country air and wet leaves, the smell of the changing seasons, and the promise of rain.

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A Promise

She glanced out her window. She could see Katie’s pale face in her memory, hear her labored breathing. “Please,” she had whispered. Her eyes, gray as a stormy sea, stared out of time, holding onto a promise. And then she was gone, the memory swirling away into the past.

There was a full moon tonight. Red digital numbers showed one A.M.  It was time.

Quietly, carefully, she lifted the sash of her window. She wrapped a dark jacket around herself and dropped lightly to the ground. No stars tonight. She pulled her hood up to hide her hair – jet black fading to deep purple. No one needed to ask questions.

She walked the few blocks to the strip mall in silence, planning, praying. This had to go right. She had to do it. She had promised.

The mall was deserted, and she headed for the small, dark shop on the corner – a low budget second-hand store. She steadied herself. No turning back now. She had no choice. She grabbed a fist-sized rock from the planter and smashed in the window above the door handle.

She looked around, but there was no one to see.

She reached in and unlocked the door. It swung open noiselessly, and she stepped in, the crunch of glass shredding the silence. Her heart beat quickly. It had been so long since she’d done this.

She went quickly now, through the racks of old clothes, past dilapidated purses and shoes to the back of the store where moonlight from a single window illuminated the cash register. She threw back her hood, the light glinting off her piercings. She removed her backpack and stepped toward the register. It was almost over.

Sirens sounded in the distance, speeding closer every second. Blue and red light glared in from the front windows, sending shadows dancing on the walls. Two figures burst in, the light playing on their faces.

“Police! Freeze!”

That was fast. She hadn’t expected them so soon. She allowed them to march her to the squad car. The wailing sirens and swirling lights enveloped her. It was over.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you. . .”

She couldn’t hear them anymore. They were overpowered by a single voice, weak and feeble, calling from the shadows of her past. “Please. . .”

.    .           .           .           .

She sat silently, her orange jumpsuit standing in stark contrast to the bleak, white walls. A lady had just entered, her perky attitude and light smile out of place. Her name tag read “Jenna Daley, Behavioral Counselor”.

“Hello, Nikki,” the counselor smiled.

A guard stepped in behind her and closed the door.

“So,” she said, flipping through a file with the name “Nikki Hart” plastered on the front. “You’ve been out of juvie for almost three years. Why risk coming back?” Jenna’s smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Nikki studied the counselor’s pink toes and white wedges. Jenna sighed. “I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.” Her smile was gone now. She leaned forward, the light, flowery scent of her perfume drifting toward Nikki. “Nikki,” she waited. She shook her head and stood up. “If you change your mind, I’m still available.” She turned to leave, her dainty shoes clicking on the concrete floor.

Nikki was ready.

The guard motioned for her to stand, and she was marched to a set of double doors. They opened to reveal a large concrete area, a high fence crowned with barbed wire framing the courtyard. Girls ranging from thirteen to eighteen lounged in the sun or gathered near the basketball hoop. The doors closed behind her.

It was finally done.

“Nikki?” A small girl of fourteen with long, honey-colored hair stepped toward her. “Nikki, what are you doing here?” The smaller girl rushed into Nikki’s embrace, trying to hold back a sob. “I’m not even supposed be here – you can’t get stuck here too.” Nikki smoothed Alyssa’s hair back and looked into her eyes. They were like Katie’s – big and trusting, dark with emotion.

“It’s going to be alright. I promised your sister I’d take care of you, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

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A Descendant’s Prayer

The overwhelming feeling of falling kept me from screaming. The fear of the Blackness that I was seeing had just now started making sense in my absent mind. I could feel cool air through my thin clothes, raising the bumps on my arms. I relied completely on feelings, because my eyes were gone, my ears heard nothing but my stomach jumped around as I realized nothing would catch me.

Then everything I felt changed, and I was experiencing something different – better. The air around me whipped and howled but I couldn’t bring myself to be anymore panicked than I was. Something about right now felt warm and comforting – despite the dark. My clothes and hair lashed against me in a whip like motion. I could feel the nothingness around me. I could literally feel the absence of life – I could feel the blankness, the emptiness. The world was so quiet yet so warm. No birds wailed or sang into the sky, nothing moved but me. As the chiming of wind cooled down my eyes adjusted slowly. At first I saw yellow and white, bright colors that grabbed ahold of my interest, playing with my curios mind. Then everything became clearer. I was on white, all white, and two golden pillars stood in front of me, tempting me forward. I wasn’t falling, I realized, I never had been. I was descending. As I went down, and I thought Heaven would be above the world. I was wrong. I was dead. How could I be dead? I was alive not too long ago. I could scarcely remember the last touch I had, how the warmth felt. I shouldn’t be dead, I thought, I shouldn’t, but I am. I should be happy, I thought. I was in Heaven, right? There was something in me that told me to stop, I locked my legs and waited to begin falling again. I gave it time and it never happened, I stayed grounded on the whiteness and I stood on this white runway by myself with no one and nothing to answer the many questions that swarmed in my mind. Where were my family and friends? “Take a look,” said a soft voice. I looked around, to see another woman next to me. My grandmother, I couldn’t believe it. She had a sparkle in her eye that had vanished during her last years. She had been sick but now she looked much like my mother – young and eager to help the world with her genuine smile. She looked so beautiful. I did as she said. Down below me, very far down yet so close was the cemetery. Everyone I cared for was there, holding onto each other. I saw my eight year old sister, Leah, crying into the bear I had given her. There was something about her sobs that felt like a punch to the stomach. I stepped backwards in shock, at first not realizing that I was the reason for their tears. It came to me then that I had to stay here, in the in-between and wait for her. I needed to guide her home when it was her time to come home. She was so little, and even though it would take a while, I could easily wait for her to live her life, and laugh and cry as she makes her mistakes. I could watch over her, still. I could be the big sisters she needed even though we were in different worlds now. My mother was gone mentally. I had left her, her mother was gone, and I realized besides my sister she had no one to speak to. She was alone and now mother of one child instead of two. The fact scared me and I realized that I would always be her daughter and she would always be my mother but I couldn’t feel the warmth of her comforting touch again. I would never cry into her arms as my friends fought with me. She would never give me advice again, and I would never be able to let her know I love her. “I can’t go. I can’t go with you Gran, I’m sorry,” I said to her, turning around, facing her with a respectful rejection. She didn’t seem to blame me as she looked at me with the warmest smile. She was so alive. She looked healthier now as she did in her young years and it was because of the many pressures of the world that age a person. Now she could ignore those. “You can still watch her from the Home, Lakota,” my grandmother said, putting out her hand to me. As her arms extended, the unfolding of God’s creation shocked me. Beautiful white wings came from gran’s back, and she smiled again, beckoning me. I lingered there, waiting. Something inside me told my body to be scared and run but I couldn’t, my mind was too fascinated by the many different things around me. Looking back at my little Leah, I let a tear drop down the side of my cheek. It sparkled as I watched it fall and drip onto her nose. She looked up, her red eyes cooing at the sign of rain; she loved rain. I giggled a bit, and watched as the words left her lips and called to me. “I love you, Lakota, forever,” she said. That small whisper was the loudest thought in my mind. Her voice wrapped around me, squeezing my steady heart and causing me to gasp. I was able to hear her torn voice, hear the control leave her again. Mine came more commonly now, one after another. When the second tear landed on her face, it started to rain. The rain came down hard but calmly, erasing the tears and creating wet faces. “You can hear her, as long as she talks directly to you,” Gran said, laughing at how her youngest granddaughter invited the rain so easily. She can always talk to me? That makes it easier. The adults that filled the cemetery covered their heads, but Leah spread her arms out, catching it with a welcoming hug. “She can hear you too, if you talk to her.”

Even though I was at a point to believe everything Gran said, I was awestruck. If possible, why hadn’t Gran talked to me? So many times I needed her reassurance and she allowed for me to be lost; for many nights after her Passing I had been diving into depression over her departure. For that I don’t get a single word? I had to talk to her, Leah needed to know something, she needed to hear some last words, and let her know that I was watching. I couldn’t leave her, I was her older sister. I was supposed to guide her and help her with the difficulties of high school and boyfriends. I can’t do anything, now. “I love you too, Leah, always,” I said, waiting for her to start crying again. Instead she looked up at me, smiling. I knew she couldn’t see me. I wasn’t in the sky. The widest of grins spread across her olive skin and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. I was gone but always watching and I was convinced that she knew it. I prayed she would be okay. I focused on her and her only, praying that she would know I was with her in spirit but mainly I wanted her to believe that I loved her. “I know,” she mouthed, but without the sound of my name from her lips, I could only see the formation of her mouth and make out the words. Her smile remained for a while, making my mouth turn upwards, showing my teeth. As the light hit my grin the clouds left and the sun shone through, shining on the little brown bear I had given her. It was the only thing she had of me. I blew it a kiss hoping that she would feel the love I had for her when she held it. I prayed she would find comfort in everything I had ever said to her. If it had been up to me it wouldn’t have been this way, my destiny would have been to take care of her as long as I could. It’s not up to me though, and I knew that now. I was not invincible but it was too late to figure that out. She didn’t have me but she had the option to call for me and she knew she could always speak to me. I also knew why Gran had to stay silent. If I continued talking to Leah, she would never let go. She would never live. Her life would revolve around her passed sister and she would never heal. I didn’t want her life being affected any more than it had to be by the absence of mine. I would watch her life play out, her boyfriends, family, husband, children, and much more. She would have a happy life, and I knew she could understand why I stayed silent. She would know that I was with her, forever and always. When she joined me at these gates, like Gran had been there for me, I would be the one to greet her. And with that I waved goodbye – it was time to go. I prayed one last time for the safety of my family. I thanked whoever would listen for the time I had with them and cherished every moment I got. While it still wasn’t enough, I knew it had to do. I would see them soon – but not too soon. Slowly, I turned to the golden pillars, taking steps into my eternity of life. The beauty of life lay before my eyes and I soaked it in. This is it. I walked through and welcomed the Wings on my back as if they had always been there.

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The Ant and the Giants

I walk in deep, deep snow

Where cold winds constantly blow

But walk I must so I might find

Food of substance to feed my mind

I am slow and weak and small

I look up and see the tall

Giants dance across the snow

For them only a breeze does blow

Many ignore the crawling creature

Who has no time for rest or leisure

The tallest stop with gentle heart

They invite me to take part

I begin to decline

Then listen to the winds lonely whine

No! No longer shall I trudge alone

With giants I will now roam

I see the world upon their shoulders

I see the rocks and the boulders

But with their help I succeed

With their counsel I can see.

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Brother

Sweat fell from my face as I struggled to dislodge the pile of debris on my leg. My body shook in fear of not making it out in time. I could hear the guards yelling down the hall. I closed my eyes, not wanting to be taken again. I am innocent.

A sliver of strength still lay in me, hidden under all the long years in a cage. Rage and anger overwhelmed me at the thought of prison. I am not ready to forgive.

The sound of footsteps grew louder as a figure stepped out of the shadows. A mixture of emotions appeared inside me when I recognized my brother.

He was more than just my brother – my twin and my enemy, yet sometimes a friend. He came to me, when all hope was lost, to help me. I told myself this to decrease my anger towards him – to trust him.

We ran, the guards followed, then we split up. I could now see the guards grouping behind us. No…no! I will escape, I shouted in my mind with a burst of adrenaline.

A smile stretched across my face when I saw the door that led out of this…this place. My thoughts broke apart when a guard blocked the door leading to my freedom. I was surrounded, never to leave this wretched place ever again. My brother stood next to me, not leaving my side. The guards grew confused, not knowing who was the one they were looking for – me.

Fear rooted me to the spot – the thought of spending one more minute in that cage…I just couldn’t carry that burden anymore. A thread of warmth reached my heart as my brother held my hand. The moment he touched me, I was comforted with memories of our childhood. Then, that moment ended. He let go.

A shot, then deadly silence.

*               *               *

It has been two months since that dreadful night. They have given me therapy, but it’s not helping. Nothing will.

My heart is just as dead as my brother. I don’t care that he is the one who put me in this prison. I don’t care that he left me there to rot under that pile of debris. He came back. And that is what I will remember him by. That night, when I was taken back to prison, I had no hope. But now I know that he did love me…

and I love him.

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Remembering Memories

Follow your instincts. It seemed like good advice. I could close my eyes and remember anything I had seen or heard recently, or even six years ago.

When I closed my eyes now, I could see a spotless white door with a black knob. Curiously, the door stood on its own, calling for those who knew of its presence. I knew it was there, whispering to me, but my instincts told me to forget the door.

No, I will not forget. I rely too much on thoughts and memory to forget. Entering the door is my only route left; therefore, I will take it. I reached out, pausing in hesitation. Should I follow my instincts instead?

I answered myself with a turn of the knob, swinging the door open. Inside, I could see a new world of colors – the deep ocean blue wallpaper seemed to dance on the walls. The floor glistened like dew on a field early in the morning. My eyes followed the dance of the wallpaper, until the wall began to swell.

The dancing ceased as the wallpaper cracked all around the swelling. At the back of the wall, a face stretched out of the swelling in the wall. The face bore no skin, showing bone under scraps of wallpaper on the human skull. Strangely, the skull did not scare me. I could hear the creature speaking, so I took one step forward into the room, wanting to hear more clearly.

Without warning, my mind went blank. Fear pulsed through me. Where am I? What just happened? Who is talking to me?

A small memory burned its way through the nothingness in my brain. There is a face in the wall, I told myself as I scanned the room for the creature.

Gone. The skull had disappeared, but it left its voice behind. In the skull’s place, a sword was stabbed deep into the wall.

“Grab it,” the skull’s voice quickly whispered.

I didn’t say anything, embarrassed to have already forgotten what the voice had whispered in my ear.

“You know what to do. Just overcome your fear.” the skull said, as if it could read my mind.

“No! Wait!” I shouted, but the voice was gone.

I tried to remember what words of wisdom the skull had given me, but nothing came to me. What is making me so afraid? The skull doesn’t scare me, nor the sword in the wall. So what is the cause of my fear?

My fear…what was it? I remember! Hold onto it, memory. But I’m afraid – I’m afraid I’ll forget. Wait – what was I remembering again?

I sat down, closed my eyes, and thought. My mind filled with images from all I could remember – the door, the walls, the floor, the face, and the voice. I heard the voice in my head, like a tape recording. These were all I could remember about this unfamiliar room. But these memories did not have the solution. There was no way out!

“Grab it,” the voice repeated in my head.

My eyes flung open when I remembered. This must be the answer. I gripped the sword, bracing myself to pry it out, but the sword slid out easily, like a knife through butter. I fell to the ground, and when I looked up, the walls had crumbled all around me. I dropped the sword, shielding myself from all the dust and rubble.

When the dust cleared, I found myself surrounded by the ocean. I sat on the shore in the soft sand, in comfort as my memory returned. When I looked up, I was greeted by a familiar face – the human skull. The face was shining like the moon as it hovered above the water. It was my own face. Now I remembered.

I watched with pleasure as the skull faded away, happy to be back in a more familiar place that I call home.

Or am I really home?

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Title: Horses in the Valley Artist: 8thGradeGenius

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Title: My Guinea Pig Photographer: 8thGradeGenius Caption: “This was taken in Julian in the fall. We dropped my guinea pig in a pile of leaves, and he loved it. His name is Truffles.”