#1 looper enjoyer

FFXIV: Log Off @ balmung.

[valkyrianskies]

FFXIV raids are a major vocal stim hazard to me - I love just blurting out lines like "Webs... LIKE UNTO CHAINS!" or "A PACK OF WOLVES" or "I am the Emissary, and I shall never die" apropos of nothing whenever I'm in a period where I'm actively playing the game.

[minovskyy]

smiles serenely

[worstgirleva]

sorry, but could i have another piece of loot? you see *i tenderly look down and caress my belly* i'm raiding for two right now

[worstgirleva]

[figgyroo]

my happiness was never meant to be

[cherrypikkins]

one of my favourite things to do in roulette is to reveal the unhinged lore of dusk vigil

[cherrypikkins]

@thumbsart

oh. oh ya. he was a whole ass dude in 1.0 you could talk to and everything back when coerthas was lush and green and not a snow-blasted waste. i believe he had some speaking roles in the various job quests back then. nice guy! a friendly npc by all standards which is a shame given his eventual fate.

that said the lore around this guy is WILD. and dark. and surprisingly not that widely known. some ramblings below the cut due to disturbing content:

based on the journal pages left around dusk vigil, ser yuhelmeric went off the deep end after the calamity. his men were starving from the sudden eternal winter in coerthas, but he refused to abandon fort. there was a mutiny which he put down mercilessly which uhh... led to aforementioned cannibalism.

the dialogue from the quest-giver npc that you come across in the dusk vigil quest ("For all the nights to come") has some additional insight. an extremely corrupt inquisitor arrested his wife and confiscated the gem that was in their family for generations and presented on their wedding day. the inquisitor had it embedded in the statue of halone in dusk vigil. ser yuhelmeric wasn't allowed to take it back since it would be considered a desecration of a sacred monument. so it can be inferred that he stayed at dusk vigil to guard it until his dying breath.

by the time the wol is tasked with retrieving the jewel, he has turned into the ashkin foe that you have to defeat in the second boss battle of the dungeon. also, the shambling corpses that you fight inside the fort are members of his former garrison that starved and froze to death. lovely stuff, really.

[cherrypikkins]

every time lol

[cherrypikkins]

anyway im sure he's still a friendly npc underneath it all

[ffxivheritageposts]

Certified FFXIV Heritage Post

[tobyfoxmademeascaly]

Ysayle is one of those characters where i KNOW she’d be really popular if it werent for the fact that she’s a woman. Cult leader tormented by Visions who believes theyre a reincarnation of a hated historical figure and will absolutely fuck an ancient dragon for world peace and also just really likes cute fluffy things. These traits together on a male character would be a whole new Designated Husbando. Alas. Misogyny.

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

my harshest criticism that can be applied to literally any and all mmos is that the worst thing about them is being subjected to seeing other players' characters

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

load into any major hub in ffxiv and you'll see 100 of these guys standing afk next to a naked catgirl

[neomedievalist]

this will be the nuclear family in 2026

[thegreatyin]

regardless of how much time passes i think the ffxiv Billboard Incident™ will forever be my favorite fandom drama to explain to someone because to even understand the sheer magnitude of it you have to explain the entirely unironic and sincere final fantasy 14 nightclub industry

[thegreatyin]

i mean yeah you COULD just sum it up as "mmo guild advertises their in-game nightclub on a giant expensive billboard in real life texas" but it's way more engaging when you understand that the nightclub part is not the weird part of this sentence. it's not even the unusual part.

[ouroborosorder]

the big problem is that the swimsuit wasn’t actually released yet and had been modded into the game and - actually okay XIV’s devs have a weird relationship with modding specifically with discretion with modding because of - actually okay so have you seen any footage of high end World of Warcraft raids

[thegreatyin]

how dare you be funnier than me on my own damn post etcetera etcetera

[teapots-and-hats]

“No more shall man have wings to bear him to paradise. Henceforth he shall walk.”

It's been 12 years since the release of FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn.

"Has your journey been good? Has it been worthwhile?" - Venat

[tobyfoxmademeascaly]

I know that when people draw alphinaud in swim trunks for beachwear because, well. It’s the closest thing to a canon beach outfit he has since it appeared in that high school au manga.

But i must speak my truth. There is no way alphinaud wouldn’t have a beach outfit almost EXACTLY like benoit blanc’s swimsuit in glass onion.

That little nerd would dress in a swimsuit that was designed 100 years ago and you know it. And a necktie.

And also refuse to let the water go any higher than his chest. Not without extensive prodding at least.

[tankclub]

its always so stupid when the .1 and .2 patches have to be like "oh that problem you solved? uh, its happening again."

the pacing structure imposed on the story by the insane decision to have each expansion climax again in .3 is so bad

[tankclub]

i made this post back in march and im so correct. im so correct

[runekept]

I truly don't get why the common stereotype of tank/healer MMO couples is surly toughguy tank and anxious people-pleaser healer because every time I queue in as a healer I can feel myself physically turning into the devil

[osterby]

The actual healer archeytpes are Bones McCoy, underpaid pre-school teacher, and sadistic dom.

The actual tank archetypes are meathead himbo, parent trying to drive the car while the kids fight in the back, and masochistic sub

[capriccio-ffxiv]

You'd think that DRK would be the masochistic sub and sometimes they are, but I personally find DRK to be the long suffering dad (gender neutral) who pulls up to the drive thru, orders a single black coffee, and leaves.

GNB just has Don't Stop Me Now by Queen playing in their head at all times.

[valkatra]

#have also seen many healers who are like middle aged white women 10m late to work honking their manicured hands on the car horn#maam this is qarn normal and the tank is new we Are going at the speed limit

[tankclub]

me, who puts the healer dot on one and the healer damage spell on 2, watching another player who puts the dot on 2 and the damage spell on 1: how do you live like this. whats it like in upside down world

[gridanian-cryptid]

doing savage

[minovskyy]

'shb is a pro abortion narrative' wtf is happening in the game about h-posing cat girls and boyz?

easy. the warriors body is being used as a vessel (womb) for all the excess light aether (jizz) in the first, which they are unaware will turn them into a lightwarden (bad sex education). they cannot stop this process once it's begun (gestation and social pressure to become a mother) though unbeknownst to them the crystal exarch plans to take the light into his own body (adoption) and leave (single parenthood).

emet-selch (the state) interferes in this process (destruction of social welfare systems). he wants to ensure his version of the future comes to pass (through mandatory reproductive labor) and cause another rejoining (reification of the nuclear family). the warrior must seek an alternative method of asserting their bodily autonomy (abortion) and blow a hole in the chest of the man who would try to choose for them (not a metaphor).

in other words,

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Explaining recipes in FFXIV to my bestie

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Texas has been partially consumed by the cybertech future btw. It's fine though the garlic's still there