AW, CABBAGE PATCH KIDS

[ 18+ ][ INDIE ][ SELECTIVE ][ MUTUALS ONLY ]

[tankmuse]

[ TANKMUSE ; ] an independent, 18+, mutuals only, selective, fluctuating activity rp blog helmed by steve from tankmen + guest appearances from 2 npcs. penned by casper [ SHE/HER, 19 ]. extremely crossover, oc and duplicate friendly.

follows from @chimerical-hub

[ RULES ] [ ABOUT ] [ VERSES ]

[ CONTENT WARNING ; ] blood, gore, violence, death, war, smoking, steve being...steve

[ DISCLAIMER ; ] all art featured on this blog that is not from canon sources is either drawn by me or commissioned by me. credit for commissioned art can be found below.

metalsyringe

[sgtcapn]

ㅤJohn's expression didn't change much as the little selfie was shown to him, but the way the permanent crease in his brow softened said more than even the sappiest words he had in him could. The kid was with his favorite people — well, favorite after John and Steve, obviously — having a great time. Even if they definitely went on to commit at least one or two crimes after taking that photo. Making a graffiti mural, at the bare minimum.

ㅤHe barely reacted to the pilfered vegetable, but the mere mention of Otis's parents had brought that furrowed brow right back. Every sorry story Pico had to tell about his non-Otis blood relatives made John sicker than the last. They treated him like a monster, a rabid dog on a flimsy chain, and not the scared little boy he had really been. He truly couldn't imagine what went through their heads when they looked at him, and frankly, he didn't want to imagine it.

ㅤBest not to dwell on it right now. Tonight, he just wanted to relax. He was already feeling a faint buzz from his drink, though it'd take at least another thirty minutes for it to really set in.

ㅤ❝ Mm. Yeah, we'll go tomorrow. That little shit, ❞ he grumbled. ❝ Didn't wanna tell his old man what a great day he was having ? Fuckin' … ❞

ㅤHe trailed off, not really sure what he was complaining about. It was good to see Pico enjoying himself. God knows the miserable brat needed as much of that as he could get.

ㅤAlready finished with his pasta, he got back at Steve by snatching a little piece of chicken, popping it into his mouth with one hand while he put his plate down with the other. Nothing better to wash down some good cooking than a final swig of beer and a bowl of popcorn.

ㅤ( He'd gotten enough to share, knowing Steve would steal it by the handful even if he only got enough for himself. Selfish prick. )

[tankmuse]

“i dunno john, might wanna watch your back in that case—uncle steve could be moving up in the world. pretty soon it might be uncle cap and yours truly as papa,” he teased, pointing to himself with a cocksure smirk. it would never happen in a million years on account of john staking his claim long before steve even knew the kid—and steve’s own qualms with any title other than ‘uncle’—but boy would he pay good money to see john’s face in that hypothetical. no doubt the spitting image of a sopping wet puppy half drowned in a sewer.

the glower at the stolen chunk of chicken was as half hearted as it was brief, the rest of his portion quick to disappear and his plate joining john’s on the coffee table. steve wanted to spend the rest of the night vegging out on the couch and by god did he not want to wait another second to do it. john would—rather predictably—find his personal space rapidly encroached on as steve leaned over and made himself plenty comfy against the man’s side. like the dirty, rotten couch stealing son of a gun he was, his legs were soon laying claim to the rest of the open real estate, socked feet hooked on the arm rest. ever the kind and benevolent tyrant, steve did not steal the couch blanket for himself and instead chucked it at john. and then immediately grabbed himself a massive handful of popcorn. truly the living embodiment of shameless greed.

as the dvd previews ended and the intro text scrolled by, steve couldn’t help but smile as the opening of ‘danger zone’ came to life. yeah, this shit was a classic for a reason. probably also the best goddamn recruitment material the army had gotten in decades—and that was despite the big heart wrencher of the movie literally being a poor bastard popping his skull like a raw egg trying to get out of his own plane! might as well make that the recruiting motto. join for the patriotic pride and homoerotic hunks as chiseled as greek statues; stay for the shit food, shit barracks and existential threat that one fuck up in a training exercise could send you skyhigh to meet your maker.

“maybe we should’ve joined the airforce, john. imagine what i could get one of them puppies to do if i got my hands on them,” he muttered wistfully. he could already pull some absolute miracles with a tank, but the wealth of possibilities if he got his hands on something able to defy gravity? oh, he could absolutely do some wonderful shit with that. “we’d be like goose and maverick! except i wouldn’t kick the bucket like a little bitch!”

[mad-hatter-memes]

Send "You look like you...", complete the sentence, and see how my muse reacts to being told that!

( Ex: "You look like you bite people." or "You look like you get mad when someone doesn't say "bless you" when you sneeze." )

[tankmuse]

plotting call! if we're mutuals and haven't already started a thread/talked ooc, feel free to like this post and i'll hop into your dms and share some of my ideas for a thread/potential muse dynamic!

[sgtcapn]

ㅤCaptain was a great pick for a leader, in all the ways that counted. And those ways were being confident, handsome, quick on his feet, and good at killing dudes ! So what if he couldn't do much else ? He could get other people to do that for him !

ㅤUnluckily for Steve, Captain had no earthly clue where he was going. He picked a direction at random, hoping it'd lead them somewhere useful. Luckily for both of them, he was very good at looking like he knew where he was going, so he moved with confidence regardless.

ㅤAt least opening every door as they passed wasn't leading to any traps or jumpscares. Though it didn't lead to much at all besides. No one lying in wait, not even anything that interesting to peek at. Christ, did anyone even use this place, or had they just dumped their new prisoners at the first building they drove past ? Much of the building was still littered with the usual wrecked insulation and glass shards that most people had the good sense to clean up when they moved in somewhere.

ㅤMaybe they hadn't quite found the time to make their little prison more presentable. Lazy, if you ask Captain.

ㅤ❝ You can still have a little fun, wise guy, ❞ he clarified, not looking back at Steve. ❝ Just don't waste our time indulging — ahh, here we are ! ❞

ㅤBingo. An unattended truck, an open way out, and their stuff haphazardly dumped nearby ! No sign of any keys, but that would be no issue.

ㅤThis was either an obvious trap, or the most incompetent kidnapping of all time. Maybe it'd be both — at least then, they'd get to warm their muscles in a good fight before they took off back home.

ㅤCaptain strode over to their belongings without hesitation, picking up his combat vest and slipping it back on. Damn, he felt ready to take on anything. ❝ Well, they didn't plant any bombs on our shit, so that's something. Alright, you get our ride working, ❞ he instructed as he strapped his holster back onto his thigh. ❝ I'll watch the door— ❞

ㅤShouting, and rapid footsteps closing in on their location, like an oncoming thunderstorm. Captain's lips stretched into an eager grin.

ㅤ❝ Ohh, there's the party ! I almost thought we'd get outta here without a hitch. ❞

[tankmuse]

his confidence in their captor's intelligence—see; the lack thereof—had already been taking a swan dive with each uncontested step they’d managed and the fact their confiscated shit had barely made it a foot away from the truck they’d been hauled in on was the real cherry on top. surely they had to have at least one bastard around whose mom didn’t have a hamster for a baby daddy?! he slipped on his own vest and gave each of the pockets a once over; knife, another knife, more knives, his gun, cigarettes—shit, it was one thing to not get rid of the weapons, it was another thing to not even bother stealing his smokes! calling them the children of hamsters was an insult. an insult to the hamster, that was.

“yeah, yeah, just try and keep quiet before they—” ah shit, and there came the cavalry. “—find us.” of course the second things got interesting was the second he also had to focus and try to do the dumb fiddly shit while there were plenty of slittable throats around. ugh. cap better give him some appreciation for his sacrifice or he might be the one having to get cozy on the floor tonight. steve didn’t wait for the belated welcome party to arrive, making a mad dash for the driver side door and yanking on the handle; locked. if they weren’t about to be thrown into a real high stress situation, steve would’ve laughed at the irony. lazy bums didn’t bother cleaning their damn base or keeping a proper eye on their prisoners, but did bother locking the car door before they left? fucking figures. well, at least they didn’t have to worry about being stealthy anymore—that certainly made what he did next a whole lot easier. in a spectacular crash and shower of glass, the butt end of his sturdiest knife went through the window like tissue paper and he all but yanked the door off its hinges as soon as he flipped the lock. the plastic cover below the steering wheel soon followed, revealing all the colorful wires beneath, ripe for the picking as he frantically tried to find the exact two he was looking for. red and blue, red and blue—why the fuck was there so many green and orange wires?! he just needed red and—there! just tune out what was definitely the sound of the fight starting, carefully strip some of the jacket off the red wire and—

movement caught the bottom of his vision, eyes looking down just in time to see the flash of sharp metal arcing straight towards him. he kicked up his legs and felt the blade thud into the truck floor where his hips had been just a moment before, quick to pivot the upward momentum into a kick that had both feet connecting with the bastard's face in a satisfying crunch. “ha! suck on them oranges, asshole!” with one attacker down, another one seemed all too eager to jump into the fray in their stead. he hopped out of the vehicle and to his feet, flipping his knife from ‘tool’ mode to his preferred ‘stabby’ mode. a first swing easily ducked under, a response from him as quick as it was devastating; a slash to the hand that sent their weapon flying and damn near taking off a finger or two in short order.

“what happened to covering me, cap? you’re doing a real shit job—” whatever steve was going to say was suddenly cut off. cap wouldn’t have time to even speculate as to why as a black and white blur zipped by the corner of his vision and connected with another body with a thump. handily tackling the bat-wielding prick who had been all of two seconds from scrambling cap’s brains, the pair began to scuffle on the floor, neither able to quite land a proper blow in such close quarters despite steve’s very overenthusiastic efforts.

[candymcker]

" Yeeeah— " Such a reaction was... understandable. Pizzelle pointed past him, into the doorway, with his thumb. " —you should see her cleaning under the fridge. " A beat as his hand dropped to his side. " She makes it look... easier than it actually is. " Alas, one had to see it in order to believe it—

" It is easy when you've grown in the countryside, hun. " —or just take her word for it. " I can do that one-handed! " Even if it came from two rooms over.

There wasn't much they could do about their situation now, could they? Sigh. Fidgety hands moved up, fixing and tightening his bowtie (not like it needed it) as he made his way to the cash register. " The city hall has been on a crusade to take that bus stop out of circulation for years for a reason. " He didn't want this, the other guy surely didn't either after such an awkward first impression but— fine, fine, small talk it is. " It... brings us customers every so often tho', y-you're proof of it, sooo— " Cue a titter. " —i-it might be for the best if they keep failing, right? Right. "

Though, perhaps he was being hasty with his assumptions here. After all, customers order and pay, even if Rosette had extended an olive branch. Still— " Can't say I haven't heard that one before... " —he pulled a pen, a calculator and a notepad from under the counter and set everything down. " I'd... suggest to look around, but— " Sure, it was an ice cream parlor... in name. " —be our guest. "

There was more to it than meets the eye; more glass cases to skim over, a longer menu than what one would expect. Most importantly, beside the ice cream freezer— bingo, a smaller glass case full of baked goods stood. " I've got juuust the thing. " With a pair of tongs, and after lifting the door on his side, the candy maker got a hold of a seed-covered butter croissant. " I-I suppose you'd also like—. "

" Don't worry, I can handle his order from there! " Well look at that! All it took was mentioning a 'baker' for her to return. " I left the jukebox where you asked me to. " It sounded like these two were going to switch places in the meantime. That jukebox wasn't going to clean itself otherwise.

[tankmuse]

ah yes, stuffy suits in their stuffier offices looking to fix ‘problems’ no one but themselves even realized existed and then give each other blow jobs once all was said and done. “pft, surprised they’re even trying. bus barely even swings its ass around that stop anyways; if it actually did i wouldn’t be stuck here for the next hour or two.” he was more than inclined to agree with the man in hoping they failed—both because pissing off self important pricks in power was always a grand old time in his books and, well…

there were a million and one excuses one could make—everything from it being a work day for most to just the natural ebbs and flows of traffic to any eatery—but the truth was pretty cut and dry in his books; this place was pretty dead. dead as in still technically croaking its death rattle but with all the funeral arrangements made and it at the point where all those grieving family members were really just hoping it hurried it up a bit and finally, truly kicked the bucket. he’d gotten off that bus and hadn’t so much as glanced another person until he saw them, the owners of said place, and not a single person else. whatever support that bus line was drip feeding them seemed to be enough to keep the lights on, but once it was gone that might be it. eh, in the end it wasn’t his establishment and he’d met them all of 20 minutes ago, so it was a little hard to give that much of a shit. it still sucked, he supposed. he watched the duo once again swap places, not being able to help it as he leaned over a bit to try and get a better look through the doorway—fucking sue him, he was curious. from where he stood he could hardly get that much clearer of an idea, but based on how they talked about it, maybe it was a workshop? if not a full fledged workshop then at least the kind of space where tools and certain bits and bobs ended up and never really left. he would know considering his own room had the bad habit of doing exactly that until either cap got on his ass about it or it reached a point it actually inconvenienced him.

“got a workshop back there or something?” he had just enough decorum—barely—to not straight up saunter in uninvited, so he went ahead and asked pointblank. “some kind of, uh, ice cream parlor, bakery and tech repair situation you got going on? one hell of a unique business model, not sure what kind of certifications and paperwork shit you need for that. paper trail must be hell of a thing to behold,” he said, skepticism plain in his tone. last he checked, health codes and motor oil weren't very kosher with each other—after all, there was a reason he was only allowed to lurk around the shop on base and not the kitchen as well. the little place that had seemed so quaint and simple from the outside was proving to be anything but. nothing that sniffed of illicit or illegal to his well acquainted nose, but definitely odd. “but, uh, yeah, i’ll take that thing he was grabbing—maybe something to drink as well, whatever you got back there.” that croissant did look good and he still wanted to get himself a little lunch, hypothetical health code violations be damned.

just gave him an excuse to linger without loitering and maybe get a closer peak at whatever they had back there when the opportunity arose.

[tankmuse]

steve’s gotten pretty good at threading the line of making dark jokes about the stuff that happened to him without completely killing the mood of a conversation but there are times he’ll say a joke or even casually drop a little ‘funny’ tidbit from his life and then immediately realize his misstep when things get quiet or that person looks at him with some kind of sad/shocked look in their eyes. it’s not often, but once in a while he’ll accidentally do it, especially with the ng trio. due to them also being fucked up brats who went through some horrid shit like him and cap, he’ll slip into talking about stuff the same way he does with cap. except the key difference is cap was either there for said events or heard about them right after they happened so both he and steve mutually had anywhere from years to a full on decade or two to kind of go ‘wow that sucked balls…anyways,’ and go on with their lives the same way they’ve done a hundred times over with shit a hundred times worse than that. meanwhile pico, nene and darnell, who were just casually joking about some mildly crappy things that happened, get absolutely blindsided by the most casual of steve lore drops like this;

[sgtcapn]

ㅤ❝ Must've shoved you pretty damn hard to manage that. Geez, kids these days … ❞ He gave Steve a once-over, as if that would provide any more insight. ❝ Well, as long as you didn't break anything. Just don't whine about it tonight, or you're sleepin' in your own bed. ❞

ㅤRight. Skittles. John let out a low, displeased hum, carefully taking his plate and starting toward the couch.

ㅤ❝ Nothing major. Showed up late, half-assed his work, like usual. Kid's smart mouth was just my last straw today. ❞

ㅤAs much as Oswald's brat of a recruit could annoy him on a good day, he did feel a little bad at the way the kid paled when he gave him that dressing down. Must not be used to getting yelled at by people other than his own boss. As far as John was concerned, it was only a matter of time before Skittles got the boot.

ㅤHis plate of Everything Pasta set down on the coffee table, the snacks and beers laid out behind it, John lazily browsed his DVD collection for tonight's flick. He wasn't in the mood to think — only to unwind, and probably fall asleep halfway through if he was lucky — so he settled on something cheesy that he'd seen plenty of times before.

ㅤThe menu for Top Gun was loading up by the time John sat down beside Steve, sighing heavily as he sank into the couch cushions. He hit play, then cracked a beer can open, downing nearly the whole thing in one long draught. Fuck, that's good.

ㅤ❝ You heard from Pico today ? ❞ he asked, idly spinning up a forkful of pasta. ❝ Asked when he's comin' home tomorrow, but he ghosted me. ❞ With a faint smirk, he remarked, ❝ I figured he did somethin' stupid and didn't wanna tell me. When he thinks he's in trouble, he always goes to you first. ❞

[tankmuse]

pft, yeah that explained it. he didn’t even need to hear any further context to know john had been well within his right to do it. that brat seemed to love pushing buttons and then being surprised when someone wanted nothing to do with him. unfortunately most of the time his lambastings came solely from oz and skittles had seemingly grown accustomed to tuning him out—everything was hardly ever heard, let alone internalized. he settled on his side of the couch, already starting to shovel food in his gob as john looked over the dvd shelf, giving an approving hum as soon as the top gun menu appeared. it was a movie they’d seen at least ten dozen times over and he was more than happy to just turn his brain off and not think too hard about it.

a beer can of his own was cracked open and drank from—although much more conservatively than johns—before being placed back down on the table. the question of pico elicited a small chuckle, his hand already grabbing for his phone as soon as john asked. “i mean, depends on if you wanna count ‘potential trouble’ as trouble. either way, we probably aren’t seeing him till sunday.” the selfie he’d been sent painted a pretty clear picture; pico front and center with a mall food court as the backdrop, the familiar faces of nene and darnell on one side of the table—though it was the kid on the other side that was the real telling one. black hair and blue outfit, some aspects of him the spitting image of pico and others completely different, a person known but scarcely ever seen by steve and john.

“apparently otis’ parents got a great deal on some kind of trip for two and left him as the lone man of the house for the rest of the week. ‘course he and the others are using it to hang out as much as possible without worrying about pico’s uncle and aunt tearing him a new one for—” he waved his fork vaguely in the air “—corrupting their little angel or whatever stupid idea they got shoved up their asses.” he tucked his phone back in his pocket, using the moment of distraction to shamelessly steal a chunk of broccoli off john’s plate. “i was thinking we could drop by their apartment after work and just wait for them to come back. kid does it all the time to us, might as well keep him on his toes a bit—good chance to finally see otis again to boot.”

although he didn’t say it, because it really didn’t need to be said, the whole situation did fucking suck. the one person in his family that didn’t treat him like some kind of unpinned grenade ready to pop at any moment and he could hardly even see him because of two other people in said family. for crying out loud, the kid was just mentally fucked like anyone else who went through that shit would’ve been, he wasn’t going to spread it like scabies or something! he kind of hoped the entire group had an absolute blast together just to spite those two assholes.

[stonejarz]

“ A ' wuss. ' I do not believe I am one of those, but I suppose we will see. ” [ directing her fork to the meat he'd suggested, she gently stabs through and takes a bite. unknown to her, both zombies' sense of taste is not as potent as a living person, especially one less than 1,000 years old. to them, at least, it's enough to seem normal. ]

“ ... I like this as well, yes. I enjoy the spice, it is stronger than the other flavors. They pair well. You are talented at the art of cooking. ” [ at the question of what she hasn't tried before, she has to recall the foods she KNOWS of thus far ... ]

“ Foods I have not tried ... It may be easier to share what I have tried. Hamburger, of course, many sandwiches, salad ... Steak, the crew had taken us to a Korean bar-be-que, where we roasted various meats over open flame. Very interesting. Several desserts, such as cake and iced cream -- I very much enjoy iced cream. I would like to visit the parlor to experience other flavors. I have been told they are plentiful. ”

[ she takes another bite as she ponders. it's unlike her to speak so much, but she finds it easy with Steve! he treats her like a person, a normal one. it makes her forget how different the two of them are. ] “ ... I have not tried many fish, but I enjoy their unique texture. ”

[tankmuse]

he couldn’t help but let out a snort at the way she said ‘wuss’—like it was an unfortunate medical diagnosis and not him seeing if he could get some kind of rise out of her. steve’s face went through a bit of a journey as she spoke; amused smirk towards the ‘assessment’ of her wuss status into a smile holding a little more genuinity then he usually had with the compliment that slingshotted straight into a puzzled quirk of the brow at the description of her palate. it seemed shockingly, impossibly limited; a lot of meat and sugar, skewed exclusively towards lunch, dinner and desserts. that was it? did she even eat breakfast? or snacks? had she ever had a piece of fruit for that matter?!

…did he try prying? fuck, he really wanted to pry but he probably shouldn’t. once he started prying, she’d probably want to pry in return and he wasn’t exactly the type to go spilling his guts out onto any random tom, dick or andy. well, ldg wasn’t just any tom, dick or andy, but the fact still stood that only a scant few knowing the full deal about him was not by accident. reciprocity won out; she got to keep her very juicy secrets so he could keep his. he glanced over his shoulder. yup, looked like cesare had buggered off—no doubt pursing some flight of fancy of his—and whatever the hell the man had originally wanted him to come help out with wouldn’t be getting done anytime soon. usually, that’d be pretty damn annoying but he wasn't one to pass up an opportunity when it presented itself.

“i mean..” he hesitated for a moment, though quick to cover it up and buy himself time to figure out his phrasing with a bite of food. once he finished, he continued the thought. “do you, uh, wanna go get ice cream once we’re done eating? i think there’s a place not too far from here and i can probably find a way to fit your chair in the back of my truck. doesn’t really matter to me either way,” he said oh so casually.

[sgtcapn]

@tankmuse

ㅤAnother long work day, another evening that saw John and Steve coming back to their apartment tired and grumpy.

ㅤBarely a word passed between them as they trudged through their usual routine. Get inside, kick off their shoes, go take a shower together ( because what's the point in having a big shower if they didn't use it to save hot water? ), toss their laundry at the hamper and don't think about it until tomorrow. It wasn't until they'd both dressed in pyjamas and shuffled into the kitchen that the ever-so-chatty John finally opened his mouth again.

ㅤ❝ You got more bruises on ya than last time I saw, ❞ he pointed out as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, watching Steve take out a container of leftovers from yesterday's dinner. ❝ Better not be getting sloppy at work, big guy. ❞

ㅤNot that he really thought Steve was the type to do such shoddy work that he'd injure himself. But, it was either that, or he was getting into scraps. Again. Practice sparring gone too far, or actual fights — it showed up all the same on his skin.

ㅤ( John wasn't that worried, of course. He just didn't want to hear Steve bitching about pain while he was trying to sleep. Obviously. )

ㅤWhile the scent of their meal filled the room as Steve prepared it, John was already rifling through the pantry for their snacks. Anything to avoid getting up again after they settled down for their movie. Chips, pretzels, popcorn, all the delicious carbs they needed after a shit day. Some beers from the fridge as well, even if Steve always got annoyed over John being a major lightweight. So what if he gets a little tipsy ? It's their home, dammit, he can do what he wants !

[tankmuse]

dinner the night before and its leftovers thereafter was what he had humbly coined as a ‘all the shit we need to use up’ pasta—just a mishmash of random vegetables, meat and whatever he’d been able to scrounge together to make the sauce. not his best work, but good enough to fill them up and not be an absolute pain in the ass to make when he was about ready to pass out on his feet after work.

he sighed a long suffering sigh, because of course john had immediately noticed. he really should’ve expected him to the second he stripped for the shower. “got stuck with helping that new kid in the shop today—jerry or whatever the hell his name was—and he fucking shoved me off the top of a tank,” he grumbled, grabbing them a pair of plates to scoop their dinner onto once it was done in the microwave and the forks to accompany it. “pretty sure he was all of two seconds from pissing himself and passing out with how inconsolable he was—must’ve thought he fucking killed me or something. probably wished he had with the absolute asschewing me and his boss gave him afterwards.” thankfully there was no physical damage to him beyond some bumps and bruises, but the wound to his pride was going to be quite the sore one for a while; the entire shops worth of mechanics as audience to the mishap the second the dumbass started wailing, because, for fucks sake, they’d all thought something had actually happened based on that caterwauling alone.

the microwave beeped and steve pulled out the hot container, carefully divvying up two roughly equal portions onto the plates. the tupperware was chucked into the sink in short order with the mental note to clean the dishes sometime nebulously later. “although, uh, speaking of dumbasses and asschewings, what the hell did skittles do today? word from the rumor mill is you apparently gave him a good tongue-lashing,” he said as he held out john’s plate, snickering at the thought. “you usually just tell that brat to quit doing whatever dumb shit he’s doing and let oz give him the proper talking to later. must’ve fucked up big time or something if you had to beat him to the punch.”

[stonejarz]

... BUTTERFLIES IN JARS ; STONE JARS. ˎˊ˗  a roleplay blog for LDG of the show B.igtop Burger !  sideblog to @lowplacez.   18+, selective, mutual - exclusive, crossover, multimuse & oc friendly. SPOILER HEAVY !   written by DEZ ; they / them, 27.  canon - divergent with HEAVY headcanon influence, set in an alternate - verse where she and Cesare escape the underground and remain undead.

links ; bio. rules.

[sgtcapn]

ㅤThe animalistic display earned a slight recoil, as one might from a cat spitting in their face. Just because Captain had seen it before, that didn't make it any less odd. Sometimes he wondered if Steve was a beast in a convincing skinsuit. A beast who loved complaining and hogging the damn blankets.

ㅤ❝ I can work with tools as well as any man ! You just don't see me do it because it's your job to be good with tools. My job is to look good and boss you around. ❞

ㅤSpoken like a man who set everything on fire the one time he tried to cook.

ㅤ❝ At least I put some real effort in, and don't look like I put 'walking through a hurricane' into my morning routine. But you know, if you wanted to play dress-up, all you had to do was ask. Think you could pull off a corset and a frilly skirt ? ❞

ㅤHe was now experiencing his own delightful mental images.

ㅤThe mirth in his face fell away, however, as Steve got the door open, and the fact they were in enemy territory rose to the forefront of his mind again. He cracked his knuckles and followed Steve's lead, ready to get the jump on whatever assholes were waiting cluelessly on the other side of the door—

ㅤUgh. Of course they'd leave their prisoners unattended. He stepped out past Steve into the hallway. He hadn't let his guard down yet, though the clear lack of experience on their captors' part had eased his battle-ready stance.

ㅤ❝ Yeah, they weren't our usual sacks of shit. Had a feeling they were a bunch of unwashed amateurs. ❞ Even if that did make their kidnapping a lot more humiliating than it already was. ❝ Alright, come on. Odds are, they're either waiting around the corner, or they're off blowin' each other somewhere. Let's just find our stuff and get outta here as fast as possible, understood ? Keep the bloodlust to a minimum. ❞

ㅤAs far as that was even possible for Steve.

[tankmuse]

well, considering he’d mentioned it, it was ironic cap had been the one promoted to sergeant first considering how much of a dead weight he could be in certain scenarios. steve wouldn’t accept anyone else watching his back, sure, but there were times he’d wished any of his attempts to teach the man some of his skills didn’t end as abruptly as they did atrociously. maybe he’d take another crack at teaching him mechanics when they got back; with absolutely no angle grinders around this time…

“yeah, at least the henchmen know to not leave us alone. i mean, doesn’t change the fact we still get out, but it, uh, sure as hell makes it ten times more difficult—at least i got to rock tim’s shit last time,” he said with a chuckle, mentally replaying the memory that had been all but seared into his head. it was certainly no secret the two despised each other with the near homicidal way all their one on one interactions seemed to end. maybe he’d actually be able to pull it off one day. both sides of the hallway were equally bland and indicationless of where they actually led, so steve simply followed cap’s lead. “well if you didn’t want me going stabby stabby, maybe you should’ve thought twice before giving me the knife,” he was quick to counter as he wrapped his other hand around the tiny handle and held it protectively to his chest. he certainly wasn’t above biting cap’s fingers if he tried. it always made him antsy if he didn’t have at least one knife on his person and, ironically, him being antsy made him all the more inclined to ‘ask questions later’ violence—just of the ‘clocking someone in the jaw’ kind instead of the ‘giving them some new holes’ kind.

“once we find our stuff there’s something we’re gonna have to figure out; getting a vehicle. unless you wanna try hitchhiking home, which is just asking to get snatched again—” a fact he would know considering they’d already kidnapped someone with that exact scheme before. “—we’ll need a ride.” walking also wasn't out of the equation but it carried the risks of stranding them in the middle of bumfuck nowhere without any supplies. also, getting back in time for movie night was well and truly a moot point in that case and he wasn't going to be some pussy and give up that easily. he glanced around the corner as they came up to it, finding himself a bit disappointed when there were still no signs of life. if they could at least sneak up on someone, there was a chance they could get them to squeal some directions before they slit their throat. at the moment, they were running blind in a place owned by people who seemed allergic to proper signage. and also wanted to stab and/or shoot them on sight. “if we can find wherever their garage is we’ll be out of here and heading home faster than usain bolt on crack—even better if they’re the type of dumb bastards to just leave their keys hanging up in the same room. if not, i’ll need some time to hotwire it.”

[tankmuse]

Is there any fanon you embrace for your muse?

Is there any fanon about your muse that you can't stand?

What's a song that reminds you of your muse?

Share an interesting fact about yourself.

Is there any fanon you embrace for your muse?

tankmen actually doesn't have a ton of fanon (it's 100% the type of media that has a lot of fans but not that much of a 'fandom' if that makes any sense) but i've always been a sucker for the fanon tendency to play up his bloodlust more. he's already shown to be quicker to pick the more violent option compared to cap during their first interaction with bill, and i love emphasizing that dynamic between them. i don't push it so far as to make him a completely homicidal murderhobo, but i like making him lean more as the 'stab first, ask questions later' type that sometimes needs cap/someone else to be his 'voice of reason' and reign him in a bit.

Is there any fanon about your muse that you can't stand?

so in the fandom the big main ship is obviously capsteve. i have 0 problem with romantic capsteve overall, it's just not my favourite version of their dynamic due to my own affinity for qpr capsteve that being said oh my godddd i absolutely cannot stand the (thankfully rare but still common enough to be noticeable) characterization of steve as a submissive pathetic little woobie cinnamon roll in capsteve. steve has been shown in canon not only snapping at cap multiple times as he damn well pleases but also being the one to take the lead and tell cap to stand down when he has a plan so i have no idea where people are getting it from. it always feels like someone trying to shove that sort of "big strong scary daddy dom coddling his spineless baby of a boyfriend" dynamic onto a pair of characters it absolutely does not fit in any way shape or form.

What's a song that reminds you of your muse?

gonna preface with the fact i am uniquely bad at making character playlists. i don't know what it is, but it always feels like i struggle really bad find music that actually fits characters i like. the first song that came to mind for steve is survivor's guilt by vylet pony from her monarch of monsters album. it technically doesn't fit a perfect 1 to 1 but the overall themes fit very well with steve's whole deal of survivor's guilt ( i know, big shocker there) and struggling to open up to people. monarch of monsters is also a really, really good album and i think more people should listen to it but also absolutely heed the content warnings since it's subject matter is very dark.

Share an interesting fact about yourself.

i've had heart surgery before! i won't go into to much detail, but on the scale of different types of heart surgery it was a very minor one. but it was still a heart surgery nonetheless lol. thankfully it was just the one operation and that fixed the problem completely, so i don't have to worry about it anymore.

[aurora-rph]

Munday Asks

RP Related

What first drew you to your muse?

Do you have any verses you want to write but haven't fully figured out yet?

What's your favorite icon of your muse?

How do you feel you and your muse are similar?

Are there any parts of canon that you ignore for your muse?

Is there any fanon you embrace for your muse?

Is there any fanon about your muse that you can't stand?

What's a song that reminds you of your muse?

Do you have any old muses you'd like to bring back?

What's the hardest part about writing your muse?

What's the easiest part about writing your muse?

Are there any more muses you want to play?

Do you have a preference between platonic or romantic relationships?

Personal

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Which is worse, stepping on a lego or stubbing your toe?

Do you prefer sweet or salty flavors?

Share an interesting fact about yourself.

If you could pick an animal to freely shapeshift into, what would you pick?

Do you enjoy spicy food?

What's your favorite movie?

What's your favorite TV show?

What's your favorite video game?

How well do you handle horror?

What's your current favorite song?

[sgtcapn]

ㅤOhh, this little ( actually quite big ) bastard. Unfortunately, Captain's brain was in 'get back to base for movie night ASAP' mode, not 'make Steve regret opening his mouth' mode. All he could muster in reply while he focused on cutting himself free was a grumpy ❝ You're sleeping on the floor tonight, asshole. ❞

ㅤHe wouldn't actually make Steve do that, lest they both freeze, but boy did it sound tempting right now.

ㅤThe rope split in two, immediately giving way. It pooled behind him as he lifted his arms, rolling his shoulders and rubbing the rope burn on his wrists before focusing on freeing Steve. It was, of course, much easier to saw at the bindings from this position, meaning it only took a few moments of effort to cut his partner free. He flicked the knife shut and placed it in Steve's palm, flashing him as infuriating a smirk as he could muster right now. Which was very infuriating, obviously. Like any amount of inconvenience could take that away from him.

ㅤ❝ See? Not about the size of the tool, but how you use it. ❞ Heh. ❝ Anyway, sunshine, you better know what you're doing with those little pins. You sure you had those hidden for lockpicking, or do you just suck ass at doing your hair ? ❞

ㅤOh yeah, he was getting back into the groove now. And beating the shit out of the losers who put them here would get him into an even better mood ! He only wished they'd have time to knock all of these fuckers' teeth out, but they'd have to make a swift escape if they wanted to get back home in time. No point taking any unnecessary hits.

ㅤ... Hmm, Steve still might want to savor it, though. Bloodthirsty fucker. Maybe Captain should let him indulge a little. As a treat.

[tankmuse]

yeah right, if he was sleeping on the floor then he was either yanking cap down with him or annoying the shit out of him until he willingly joined just to make it stop. steve was a human heat leech through and through and if he was going to be cold and miserable and inflicted with a sore back, then with the power invested in him he was going to do his damndest to spread that joy. of course, schemes of blanket thievery and mattress kicking would only need to come to fruition if his roommate actually went through with it. he could put those thoughts on the back burner for the moment. he gave his own wrists a brief once over—a little raw but nothing that wouldn’t fade within a day, maybe two at most—and then had his gaze pulled up towards the metal placed in his open palm and the other man’s shit eating look. ever the mature, level headed adult in the room, he responded to said smarm by taking the high ground and not falling for the bait—no, who was he fucking kidding, he immediately stuck his tongue out and made a noise at cap somewhere between blowing a raspberry and hissing like a cat.

“yeah, like you know how to use any tools,” he said as he flicked the knife back open with the usual terrifying deftness he had with anything sharp, pointy and containing a hinge. his other hand went up to his ponytail, fingers only needing to dig for a moment before they found the metal tucked within, perfectly concealed by a few strands of strategically styled hair. steve, tools in hand, knelt down and began to fiddle with the lock. “how much time do you usually spend in the morning just running your fingers through your hair to get that ’natural’ look, fabio? looking to moonlight as a cover model for those bodice rippers? pretty sure there’s a pair of skintight leather pants and a swooning, half-naked broad calling your name if that’s the case.” now that was a hell of a mental image; whether it was one of hilarity or horror was the real question.

click! oh, huh, he didn’t think the lock would be that easy. alright, now was the time to be actually serious for all of a few seconds. he silently waved cap over—how much that was actually worth considering they’d been blathering pretty loudly was debatable—and pressed his ear to the door. one moment. another. if anyone was on the other side, he couldn’t pick up any signs of them but that didn’t meant they weren’t there. waiting. not one to let someone else have the element of surprise, he shoved the door open with a bang, the hinges letting out a terrible shriek of rust and neglect. his grip on the knife tightened, head on a swivel and ready to strike into whatever was soft and painful as soon as the guard popped out and attacked; if they were solo it’d be easy to dispatch them quickly. if it was two, the sudden assault would hopefully surprise them enough for cap to pounce on the other and— there were…no guards. he looked left. then right. then left again, just to confirm. yup. they were the only humans in the immediate area. the lack of any boots rapidly approaching clued him in that it was probably going to stay that way for at least the immediate future.

“is this baby’s first kidnapping or something? leaving a bunch of prisoners unguarded is just asking for them to sneak out and slit your throat in your sleep…”

[tankmuse]

what cursed compliment are you?

"you seem like you'd disappear for 6 months and come back hotter." you're elusive. unreachable. emotionally inconvenient and a little mythical.

[sgtcapn]

ㅤCaptain had fought as hard as he always did — very hard indeed, heh — but there was little even he and Steve could do when they were blindsided by a gaggle of assholes like that. It had been a long time since he'd been patted down and robbed of his equipment. Not a huge deal, he would've thought, and so he hadn't expected just how furious he'd be when the meagre light filtered back in, and the realization of how screwed they were dawned on him.

ㅤThe nerve ! The audacity of these bastards !

ㅤHe almost didn't hear Steve's whining, too focused on his own sense of loss.

ㅤ❝ Well, maybe you shouldn't hide your knives in such obvious places, Steve, ❞ he complained. ❝ Can you believe this ... !? We're missing out on movie night ! ❞

ㅤIt had been weeks since he'd gotten to pick the movie ! Weeks ! Now when he finally thought he'd get the opportunity, some dirty pricks kidnap them ? They were going to be occupied with escaping all damn night !

ㅤGod, this was the worst day he'd had in months.

ㅤAll the more reason to try and escape faster, he supposed. Even if he were to rightfully sulk the entire time.

ㅤHe shifted around awkwardly to get his hands to the right place, and quickly found his prize. He did keep hidden weapons on him, as any good leader should. Unfortunately, the shitty pocket knife their captors hadn't snatched from its very clever hiding place was small and dull, more suited to surprise stabbing than escape artistry, but it would have to do. Thus began the annoyingly slow job of sawing through the rope.

ㅤ❝ Ugh, the kid's probably eating all our snacks while we're gone... I swear, if he is, he's cleaning the latrines tomorrow... ❞

[tankmuse]

the reply was immediate, the man looking none to chapped about the disparaging of his own weapon hiding skills. “oh for crying out loud—only reason they found all mine was because they were grabbing at me like they were all of two seconds from giving me a handjob! don’t know where the hell you hid that thing for them to miss it.” were it anyone else he would’ve kept going, letting them have all the pieces of his mind he wanted to give them. but he also knew damn well cap’s little habit of just not listening once he started ranting meant he’d been blocked out by probably the end of his first sentence. asshole—a miracle he’d put up with him for this long.

and of course, the real sticking point of this whole shit show. don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t exactly tickled pink over missing movie night as well and cap did have good taste in movies, but steve’s priorities were a little different at the moment. like getting out of this mess without any missing limbs or slit throats. made it a little hard to indulge in the next movie night if, you know, he was just a goddamn pile of bones being used as chew toys by a family of coyotes in the desert. …although cap did make a good point. getting to spend an evening shooting the shit with a film was only half the indulgence of movie nights; the other hinged solely on all those goodies they set aside specifically for that night—like a pair of overgrown squirrels going mental over a stash of nuts. fuck, if the kid ate all of them he was giving an earful for it alongside whatever cap did. didn’t matter if they let the kid go freely into their room whenever he wanted put up with that punk breaking into their stuff, there were still some things that were sacred.

alright, whatever, he could have two top priorities; getting out without dying and making it back before the tiny terror completely devastated the snack stash. he stepped next to the other man, waiting oh so patiently for him to finish cutting his binds so he could untie his. “let me guess, you’re so good at hiding weapons that you chose your shittiest little corkscrew knife instead of an actual knife to make a point?” he said, smug as the absolute bastard he was. “oh, and for your information, they might’ve gotten the weapons but they missed those bobbypins i keep tucked in my hair. second you get the ropes off we can use one of them and your little toothpick to pick the lock.” suck on them apples, hypocrite.