— sentence starters : ridiculous quotes from shitty 80s films. content warnings : truly this is pure chaotic energy.
“gentlemen, we meet again.”
“if that gold isn’t in that cave, it has to be somewhere else.”
“if you’re still mad i called you a fruitcake, i didn’t mean it.”
“you’re the prettiest nut i’ve ever seen.”
“i don’t care about coyotes, i want to know where the gold is.”
“i hope there’s a dining car.”
“i’m in charge of uh…charm.”
“i know but uh, you know you really do look um….good.”
“you know very well what apple.”
“that’s not a novel, name. it’s heartburn.”
“where’s north? which is south?”
“when was the last time we horsed around in the middle of the day? six years ago when we were both down with the flu.”
“this ain’t a bridge. it’s termites holding hands.”
“when they said hardwood floors what they really mean is …. hard, wood floors.”
“i know the sound of two pennies being dropped into a jelly jar when I hear it.”
“my advice is……learn to live with it.”
“this squirrel is me, isn’t it?”
“you’re sinking into a pit of self-pity, defeatism and alcohol….”
“now, how much notice do you think you’ll need to start acting normal?”
“i will too. and so will you.”
“nothing like a brisk walk after a morning swim.”
“as usual, I weeded out……all of the junk mail myself.”
“you’re always calling my mother if i’m not home by 7:30.”
“i took the cat but i couldn’t figure out how to take the kitty litter so i left it.”
“negativity. this is exactly what i’m talking about, it’s very negative.”
“i’ll tell ya buddy i’m hell on wheels.”
“get behind there and stay there.”
“she wanted it she took it and he let her.”
“see i would hope you’d come to the healthy conclusion that she’s a manipulative bitch.”
“see i would hope you’d come to the healthy conclusion that he’s a manipulative bastard.”
“you have to understand, life sucks so why not be a shmuck.”
“poor guy. he’s a prince who thinks he’s a frog.”
“alright, name, wait. i’m feeling a little tense or something. i don’t know.”
“as someone in the arts, i know quality when i see it.”
“what’s this pseudo sexual penis envy.”
“i don’t want you to do this cause you’re weak. i want you to do it cause you know i’m right.”
“he’s got an aura about him as green as this scallion.”
“look at my face i can’t go to dinner like this.”
“as far as i’m concerned you and i - we’re magic.”
“why don’t you use those powers of yours to pass the potatoes.”
“i guess we have to admit you’ve done it.”
“this is happening, alright.”
“violence is the last resort of a limited mind.”
“what the hell is that supposed to mean, bryan.”
“i’m a goddamn good lookin man.”
“well one thing is for sure, name’s behaviour was way out of line. let’s not have him up again.”
“we’re not asking him to leave, if he wants to leave we’ll let him.”
“i think we’ll skip dessert.”
“you love yourself too much.”
“you dedicated all your books to yourself.”
“i blew it. i blew it! i was a bad boy!”
“will you read my lips: no.”
“HAUL YOUR ASS OUTTA THAT BOY.”
“now we can do this easy, or we can do this rough.”
“oh boy. oH BOY. OOOOH BOY. OH BOUY!!!!”
“rest in peace, dipshit!”
“i’m a monster, look at me. this is the real me.”
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