it’s been a year, but I still haven't been able to recreate her...
not yet at least...
a couple years ago, I created a doll, and brought her to life. she was alive and my prized possession, I gave her to my daughters as a gift they took care of her and saved her when she got herself into problems, but she seemed to learn from her mistakes.
while my daughters took care of her, I watched over her from a far. how could I not, she was alive, and I made her.
I created life and made her.
although, she always listened if I ever came up in a conversation she listened to everything about me with undivided attention, she even kept a book to note everything about me, every story, every sentence, every action, all of it.
I have an older son and he liked to make her do dangerous things and get her in trouble, but my daughters always saved her.
but after awhile, everyone stopped to talking to her, my older son left for college and my daughters were caught up in high school. even though my children stopped talking to her, I watched over her still, seeing how far she came. she has become self sufficient and has used the lessons she learned when she was younger to help stay safe, sometime I even catch her reading her old journal about me to remember.
one day, I saw her in trouble though, but when I came to help she didn’t notice me. like I didn’t even exist, so I did what I always did, I watched and observed.
she fixed the problem herself.
after a couple months, I noticed she had become interested in the outside, I saw it in her eyes, she wanted to explore.
so one day I left the back yard door opened and watched her. although it was new to her, she read up a lot about it and watched movies about it, so I wasn’t worried. she did very well.
after that, I left the backyard open and she built little things with the stuff she found, she even made a little house out there. after two months I opened the front door.
she did well out there as well.
of course I made sure it clean up around and watch just in case of cars, but she was careful and worked on making a small home there too.
she also talked to the neighbors a bit too, they already knew I created her because my daughters showed her off to every one on the street and I made sure to go around as well to clear anything up, I feel like it was a blessing that it actually worked.
she made a lot of progress.
after three months, she stayed outside more than she did inside, she didn't need food are anything so she didn't need any thing in the house, she already built her homes and has clothes, doesn’t need to come in a lot. sometimes she came inside to help my children, which was amusing at the very least.
in the span of four months she would leave the house area for hours, until she once left for a day, I was worried to death but she came back safe and sound. she really was something special.
in the span of a year, I watched her leave and come back on a weekly basis, until one day,
she just left.
she didn’t say bye, she forgot about us, didn't talk to us a lot anyways, but she still tried to remember us, but then I found it
her journal.
she left it. just to collect dust, she hasn’t touched in a long while either.
she didn't need it anymore.
I was devastated, she was gone. the life I created, my prized possession,
gone.
it has been a year, I have created hundreds of dolls, but none were like her, some came closed, but none were like her, none could think like her. she was perfect. and now she’s gone.
I pack my bags, a small suit case and a book bag, I pack clothes, hygiene products, ya know, essentials. it don’t plan I getting much else, but I do take my phone for the GPS and some money I saved up. its not much but it’ll do. I look at the time: 6 o’clock, i have to leave in time for the bus. I walk out of the house, and as I feel the cold breeze of the morning and the warmth of the sun, I look back at the building I once lived happily in, not turning back now.
Its not that I hated it there, but, for lack of a better term, i hated it there. everything was tiring and gray, nothing was fun or new, I went to school and they never taught, my friends are boring, they always talk about the same things, my family doesn’t need me, they live life like its a sitcom and the laugh track will save everything, it revolting. I know they would never accept who I am, but I never accepted who they were in the first place.
I take the bus out the city and I start walking to… I don’t know I guess, I just enjoy the feeling of freedom and breaking out the cycle.
after a bit of time, I decide to walk in the way of the sunset, I know its dumb, but I have all the time in the world and no way to spend it soooo… walk west I guess.
It’s funny, as I walk, it seem like everyday I walk, I go back in time, I guess that is one way to break from the cycle.
its been a month, and everything is going pretty well, money hasn’t ran out and clothes are doing well, I was an insomniac and never liked food so I don’t spend a lot of time resting, plus I get on buses or freeload a bit, it nice to talk to new people and it is surprisingly easy to lie about what you are doing. I would care if it what i was doing was dangerous, but I honestly never really cared, if I die, I die. not like life ever done much for me.
this nice man decided to drive me five hours into a small town, he said it was special and had sights like I wouldn’t believe. I could but why not go there, it seems close to some deserted land I wanna check out, he also kinda sold me on the town considering how much he talked about, I wasn’t in a rush.
when he dropped me off, it was 6 o’clock. I watched the sunrise for a bit and decided I should get a meal so I walked more in the town and found a restaurant called The Saloon.
I walked in and a waiter came up to me. she was a plump woman, but she was as happy as one could be, I asked for a cup of ice water while I look at the menu, she smiled and walked back into the kitchen. I read the menu and decided waffles and bacon, with a side of fruit salad and just stick to water. she came back the water and I ordered my meal, she smiled and went back into the kitchen.
while waiting, a man came up to me. he looked maybe 60 years old, he was covered in wrinkles and had slightly spotty skin, like he was in the sun a lot. he looked like a retired adventure.
“hello young lady” he said, welcoming, but not exactly happy. I replied as nicely as I could. “what brings you to a quaint little town like ours. not many visitors of our type come here” I told him I heard of some nice sites the trucker told me about, I left out the deserted land, just in case it would be suspicious to go there, besides I don’t want anyone to know where I come and go to. he tells me of some of the sights to see specifically and what places I should avoid some land near here, it was close it where I wanted to go so I would be careful. he said that people like to wonder there, but whenever you wanted to go near one they’ll gone just as fact as they came. “guessin’ they know whats out there better than anyone”.
after a bit of time, the man looked at his watch and said his good byes. I said good bye and stared out the window until my food came out, I thanked to waiter and she smiled even wider, if possible, then disappeared back into the kitchen.i ate my food, they served a lot, but I haven’t eaten a lot yesterday so I finished the meal without much of a problem. I looked at the time and it was getting close to noon, so I left and payed for the meal and left.
I checked some of the sites and they were beautiful, like straight out of a movie beautiful. they were stunning.
I noticed that it was close to sunset and decided to head to the deserted land, I don’t like paying for hotels because they’re expensive and would eat up all my money, I would go to homeless shelters but I always get paranoid someone would steal my stuff,pair that with my insomnia and there would be no reason to rest at that point, so I camp out in deserted places a lot. I get to see stars too, since I’m away from man made lights, which is a definite plus.
I made it there but I remember what the man said and took precautions. I hid my stuff under a couple rocks and slept on the side of the rock that the sunrise would wake me up before it is entirely day light and I slept staring at the stars like every other night.
I woke up with the sun dead above me, I think I slept in but it happens sometimes. I thought I got good enough sleep last night but I guess not.
the sun was bothering me so I sat up and raised my arm above my eyes, but it didn’t do anything to block the sunlight so I just closed my eyes a bit and opened them wider until I could see.
but when I looked, my stuff wasn’t there and a girl was sleeping next to me.