Ok, so I started seeing this guy from Hinge.
We have been talking for a month. He was asking questions and everything right away. He asked me out pretty quickly, but the day he asked me out, I was leaving for Ireland. I warned him that replies would be sporadic, and he said no worries, enjoy your time.
We went to an upscale cocktail bar for our first date. He was early, and the hello hug felt, idk, so strong and secure. Conversation flowed pretty easily. He kept looking at my lips during lulls in the conversation. It got a little awkward towards the end, but I think we were just tired. I outright said, "sorry, my brain's a bit blank, I'm tired" and he immediately got the check, and paid, no worries. He asked if I wanted him to walk me to my car, and i said it was a bit far, and he said that was OK. He gave me a hug goodbye. I remember feeling so respected.
I texted him after, saying it was nice to meet him, and he said he had a great time and hoped I did too. I said yeah and we should do it again, and he immediately proposed days and activity suggestions. He was leaving for a family reunion the next day, but we texted every day. He communicated that replies would be slow because he was with family, sent pictures, told me about his day. I showed him pictures of my town and he said I have to show him around.
For our second date, we went on a hike. We were originally going to go paddleboarding, but the water levels at the reservoir he suggested (my fav one) were too low. So he researched hikes, and suggested one up by me. I told him we could postpone if he wanted, since he was flying back that day, and he said no, he wanted to see me. We went on the hike, and idk. I think i was a little suspicious because he was saying things like "when you meet my sister" and I was like, is this future faking? Idk. But conversation flowed really well, he opened up about some personal things, we had some good banter, and he made some flirty comments, like when I said, "this wine is really sweet-" he was like, "like you?" And again, I felt really respected the whole time.
I remember getting nervous towards the end, because my mouth and lips were dry, and I knew we were probably going to kiss. We brushed arms a few times, then we got back to the cars, and he was like, "i had a really great time, we should do this again sometime", and I said, "yeah, when?" And he was like, "maybe Friday? Dinner?" And I was like, "Dinner would be lovely" and he was like "do you like Italian?" And I was like, "i do like Italian". And he was being touchy, like hovering in my space, touching my waist, etc. I hugged him goodbye, then turned my face towards him, and he kissed me. It was a little open with a little tongue, and then he kissed me again... and again. And his hands dropped to my hips. But then he pulled away, we talked a little more, then said our goodbyes. I texted him saying that was fun, and he said he had a great time then sent me 2 restaurant options to chose from. I picked one, and he said we could try the other another time, and that he went ahead and made a reservation for 6.
But... then I was on Hinge, and I saw that his profile Signals had disappeared. I felt pleased by this, because mine had disappeared too, because I only have the capacity to date one person at a time. But then I clicked onto his profile and saw he had changed 2 prompts, replaced a picture, rearranged some others, and I felt a gut punch. I knew it was too soon to be hurt by this - we have only been talking for a month and only been on 2 dates. I started second-guessing how he had been showing up. But then, research showed that you don't necessarily see when matches update their profile until you logout and back in, sometimes it can be over a week. And hinge had logged me out, so I logged back in, so... those changes could have been made before our second date.
So... obviously, I don't know what's up with him. We haven't had any talk of being exclusive, it is too soon. He could be talking to other women. We have only been on 2 dates. But... I think what I am going to do is just delete Hinge off of my phone and focus on how he is showing up in-person for now. He has shown so much more respect and intentionality than any other man I have dated thus far. He has done things like drive to see me only an hour after getting off a flight from Boston. I don't want to ruin something that I am enjoying out of the fear that it won't last or speculation.
If it ends, it ends. If it doesn't, it doesn't. If it is meant to be, it will be. If not, it won't.
But right now, I am going to chose to enjoy this for what it is. Maybe it will go somewhere. Maybe it won't. It could end literally any moment. But for the time being... I can enjoy being treated well.
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