ok so here is the Story: i woke up at 11am on Tuesday of last week. i casually picked up my phone and HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT i see this DM…from @taylornation at first i think, oh this has to be a cruel joke…i had just one day before convinced myself that meeting taylor was well out of my reach. I seriously had never felt more hopeless in never meeting Taylor. I have always had this anxiety in the back of mind saying: YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT. I always felt so fucking insecure realizing i would never be able to see taylor on tour, buy merch, or travel to see Taylor…i had accepted this. I have dreamed of meeting her for YEARS, and I somehow thought it would not happen to me. I am really shy and have never had many friends in school, so i have vivid memories of growing up listening to taylor by myself alone during recess. I always felt so infinitely connected to someone as strong, beautiful, and inspiring as Taylor. She constantly pushed me to be myself. She has always been there for me through every major depression, anxiety attack, and majorly happy moment: the bitch has been RIGHT HERE for me. My one constant. So, LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD TO MY INSECURE ASS, THE DM WAS REAL!!!!!! I INSTANTLY SCREAMED MY HEAD OFF. I BOUNCED UP AND DOWN LIKE A CHILD. I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I HAD DONE TO DESERVE THIS AMAZING NEWS. MY MIND INSTANTLY REPLAYED THE PAST FEW YEARS OF MY LIFE AND STOOD IN SHOCK. IT WAS ALL TRUE. TAYLOR SWIFT. SHE WAS…REAL??????? I WAS REAL TO HER???? flash forward to Sunday the best day of my life: i had not eaten a proper meal in days. I probably did not sleep more than three hours at a time the whole week leading up. I still felt like it haf not truly hit me yet. I was still processing. I was still in disbelief. i mean, taylor wants to meet me? a nobody online? a small blog? a person that mostly reblogs because i never have had the confidence to make my own posts? SOUNDS FAKE. but, as I waited all day to meet her, it became more and more incredible. i came out of my shell and met INSANELY KIND PEOPLE SUCH AS @ohkimani @in-her-wildest-dreams @talk-turned-2-screams @17andcrazy13 @swiftful-thinking13 @enchantedswift13 and so many more people i am still trying to find online. My anxiety had told me that i was probably going to be hated? as if all of these wonderful people would ignore me? I felt so loved and so included for the first time in my entire life. I cannot thank taylor enough for every friendship i have thanks to her 💜 flash forward AGAIN, but this time to when i was in line to meet taylor: I WENT IN FOR MY GROUP PICTURE WITH MARISA AND BECCA AND BECCA AND I PRACTICALLY RAN INTO HER AND HUGGED HER STOMACH. as i was still holding her she kind of laughed and yelled, “oh, HEY KAITLYN!” i looked up from her stomach and looked her deadass in the eyes and started squeaking, “YOU KNOW WHO I AM YOY LNOW YOU KNOWDF?????” and she just excitedly said, “of course!” with the biggest smile. we took our sassy group pic and i got back in line, but i instantly felt the tears coming, so i turned to @ohkimani and started telling her what happened and before i knew it, my turn had come…again, I RAN INTO HER ARMS SO SO FAST THE WOMAN PROBABLY THINKS I AM A PROFESSIONAL RUNNER. by then, i had lost all of my chill. I was openly sobbing in her arms. she complimented my pink velvet romper and i saw stars. we just. held hands. and i hugged her so many times i cannot even remember. IT IS A BLUR BUT IT KEEPS COMING BACK. i thanked her for all of the amazing friendships she has given me. I thanked her for @taylortrashzone and told her they changed my life…we just kept saying i love you back and forth. I was hysterical. She didn’t wanna take the picture right then because of my tears but i suddenly snapped AND WAS LIKE OK IM FINE AND SHE STARED SO INTENTLY INTO MY EYES AFTER I TRIED RUBBING OFF MY RUNNING MASCARA AND SAID THAT MY MAKEUP WAS FINE AND I WAS JUST LIKE “UH OKkkkkkK fuck taylor i trust you.” and FOR OUR POSE SHE KISSED ME ON THE FUCKING RIGHT CHEEK! we continued talking after and i thanked her for being so open with us and for all of the stories that i had related to especially hard. TN started rushing me but taylor blocked them from my view and i started telling her the truth about why i believed i would never meet her. I told her she has always been here for me and that i have wanted this forever but since i know that i can never go to tour, i thought i never stood a chance. i was so needy and we just held hands and she said to me deadass, “kaitlyn i want you to tell everyone this, it does not matter if you cannot go to tour…” i cannot remember her exact words on this because i was crying so hard but she had said that she does not want any of us to feel less inportant than one another. she does not want there to be a reason we pit each other against each other out of anxiety. she wants to meet all of us regardless of money we spend. what taylor cares about is that we have always supported her…she loves us and wants to meet us, truly. LAST BUT NOT LEAST i asked her if she had seen the video of my best friend @purrrrfectstorm and i meeting in JFK for the first time. I told her about Kayla and said that the video was the funniest thing she coulf ever watch because i fall flat on my face while running to her arms like a dumbass…she assured me that she would watch it after the ss were over that night, but i am still waiting @taylorswift !!!!!! we said our goodbyes and i went home with amazing friendships and without crippling anxiety that i was not going unnoticed by her. i felt CLEAN from all of my past anxieties..i know that i may sound like a broken record: but i desperately want you to know Taylor does see Y O U. i do not want to sit here and discount any feelings but i want yall to know exactly what Taylor told me to tell everyone: SHE LOVES US. THE ALBUM IS MY FAVORITE BY FAR. PREORDER REPUTATION ON ITUNES. TAYLOR I AM SO PROUD OF YOUR HAPPINESS BABE. THANK YOU FOR THE TIME OF MY LIFE. DANCING WITH YOU WAS A DREAM! 10/23/17 💗
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