I hope you had a good day pretending to be happy, faking it suits you well.
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@taylorschool21
I hope you had a good day pretending to be happy, faking it suits you well.
Don’t forget to tell people;
Don’t forget to tell people that you made this choice alone but long ago.
Don’t forget to tell them I wanted to keep working things out and grow as people together.
When your mom ask, don’t forget to tell her I said thank you for everything she ever did for us. Every meal, every prayer, every restock when we were without, thank her from me.
When your dad asks, don’t forget to tell him about your new achievements of taking on a lesser paying job, consuming caffeine to the rate that health professionals asked you to stop doing, and don’t forget the smoking so that when the next episode happens they know what’s been going on with your body so you can perhaps be treated well and appropriately.
When the friends that “don’t like me” ask how you’re don’t forget to tell them I’m not okay, so they can help boost your ego about the situation.
But when Mikayla asks, don’t forget to tell her I’m going to miss her a lot, and Remington.
Don’t forget I left the air pump next to the bed if it needs more air in it after it stretches.
Don’t forget to lock the patio door after you have therapy on Wednesday. I hate when it’s unlocked it makes me feel unsafe.
Don’t forget your butter mochi is on the counter, I don’t know if it can be out this long but I didn’t want to throw it away in case you wanted it still.
Don’t forget that since we are together anymore you don’t have to do my laundry or shop for 2 or tell me all your plans. It’s just transactional communication now
Don’t forget when you’re in the living room I’m most likely in the bedroom upset about exactly what you think I might be upset about, every time. But it’s much less mad than it looks in your head and much more sad irl.
Don’t forget I’m gonna cry most likely every night until I’m not sure when. It doesn’t matter where I am or you are though I’ve just started replacing sleeping with crying in any free time while I’m alone.
Don’t forget we signed a lease and it has 7 months left on it.
Don’t forget my favorite goldfish are the rainbow ones…
Don’t forget my gut knows everything.
Don’t forget I remember every ex you’ve spoken of, also I remember all those “friends” that don’t like me.
Don’t forget I’m most likely clever enough to figure out almost anything that’s happening around me.
But also don’t forget that I’m a chronic overthinker. I’ll be “spiraling” for a while coming up.
Don’t forget we have a queen bed, and that’s not quite enough for two people but it’s far too much for one person.
Don’t forget the times I made you smile… unless they’ve been deleted already.
Don’t forget the moments we shared when we were both really alone and scared to be that way.
Don’t forget last December parked at Joe’s Crab Shack eating CFA trying to piece together how we were gonna get to the next step.
Don’t forget everything works out for us.
Don’t forget we, gon be, okay…
Don’t forget me.
Who knew I would once again be in a similar position?
* exiled from a cult like friend group
* freshly dumped
* and once again lost
If there’s anyone out there in the void still this is in some ways way better then my previous reports but I guess I’m still going to use this as a confessional to my ex so… buckle up
I'm just over here laughing cause y'all paid a shit ton of money to go to Disney and I could have gone with y'all and it would have been free.
Why is it they alway fall in love with someone else? There's no way he's gonna go to Disney with me he's to good of a boyfriend to her, he knows I like him he wouldn't take me. Ever
May 1, 2016
It's been a year. We've both changed. We're both still single, at least to my knowledge. I'm getting better. You're getting worse. I'm still worry about you some times but, today I will be deleting all the pictures, all the videos, all the text, everything because I deserve to let go now. I can let go now, and I will.
I couldn't date you because you're a lying fake but I'm still sorry the you're going through a depression right now, I know what it feels like and I'm sorry.
I don't get why you're trying to hide it, I know you better than anyone in my whole life, you fucked her and now you want to be her boyfriend and move with her to Reno or Portland or what ever. Not telling me doesn't make it hurt less.
I don't understand why that was a fucking secret, you're literally all ignorant. -_-
That's literally the stupidest shit ever, you always talk about how you hate all the high schoolers and everything about high school so you buy them cupcakes and balloons? You're all such fucking hypocrites. God damn.
You bought him a fucking record player? Really? That's only going to make him love you more. Which is the root of his depression. Smooth
December 7, 2015
You have tinder, so does everyone else now but you just kept talking about it and it broke my heart even more with every word, Christian is gonna now, Chris is gone now, there's a whole new batch of men that I don't care about. I don't miss you, but the new me misses the new you that I'll never have...
November 17, 2015
I hope Christian Montgomery stays around, he seems like a new beginning. I just don't want to get my hopes up.
November 1, 2015
It's been exactly 6 months today. And I still love you but you hate me.
Maybe we'll make out this weekend, or just hate ourselves individually.
I just want to be with my friends again. It hurts so fucking bad to see Kailey go out almost every day with the people I call my friends while I sit in my fucking room crying a blogging and trying not to look like a pathetic ass hole, and at the end of the night she comes home bitchy and exhausted but at least she has exhaustion because she's hanging out with people not because she needs herself. I hate everything about myself and all I fucking want are some god damn friends to hang out with so I can pretend that I don't just like everyone else. If you think that I'm a pain in your ass imagine how much of a nuisance I am to myself.
October 23
I still wish I was dead. Preferably back on October 5 so I didn't have to go through 18 of this shit hole we call a life.