Yearning for You
Requested: Yes by anon
can you write something with angst and fluff on john logan as we all are loving him being a yearner it would be fun to read
Warnings: Fluff, angst, sexual themes but not smut, cursing, alcohol
Pairing: John Logan X Reader
Summary: John Logan has been smitten with you from day one. But in your mind, guys like him don't really exist. This has to be a joke. So he yearns.
Prompts: None
Authors Note: First Off Campus post, I'm ecstatic as a lover of the books and show. Not fully proof read so..ignore any mistakes. Okay thanks!
@themarvelousbox wrote this partly for you because you're my bestie and obsessed with Logan. 💕
Dancing was not normally my thing but I have enough alcohol flowing through my veins that I forgot to care as my hips sway to the loud music. Which in itself is funny as I rarley drink. I guess that is what happens when you find your dynamic duo making out with the guy you've been crazy about for months. Dynamic duo, my ass. Friends don't make out with other friends crushes.
I try to tell myself it's not that deep as I make my way back to the crowded kitchen for more alcohol, pushing past the alarming amount of shirtless guys. Mostly everyone is some sort of drunk and common sense is starting to disapear all together. I barley make it out of the way of a couple attacking each others face and feel a body bump into mine.
"Wow you good?" Probably one of the sexiest voices I have ever heard says calmly. Turning, I see who I collided with.
John Logan.
"Y-yeah..sorry..was trying not to become that couples third."
A warm chuckle comes from him as he moved aside, providing me space to lean on the counter next to him. God, he was hot. "I don't think they would notice if you did."
A small smile grazes my lips. "No? Guess it wouldn't be that exciting then. I'll just stick to alcohol."
An amused smile grazes's his lips as he reaches into the ice next to him and grabs me a can "Here. Can is safer."
My chest tightens at that thoughtful gesture. "Thank you"
"Yeah, of course. I don't mean to pry but you look sad. Did something happen?"
I take a drink of the can IPA he gave me and think before I speak. "It's going to sound stupid."
"Tell me anyway." He said in a soft voice, moving closer, our bodies close to touching again as more people crowd the space.
"My friend and I came here together..she's my dynamic duo..and I walked in on her making out with this guy I've had a crush on for months. She knows about it too. I mean technically she did nothing wrong. We aren't dating-"
"Nope. Fuck that. That's not stupid. You don't have to be dating the guy for that to sting."
My shoulders move up in a quick shrug and I can feel Logans eyes trailing over my face as I take another drink. "Come with me."
"What? Where?"
"It's a surprise but I decided you aren't going to be sad the rest of the night over a guy who probably didn't deserve you anyways and a shitty friend." He says while giving me a charming smile.
I get butterflies in my stomach as I nod. "Fine just no killing me. This is stranger danger."
John chuckles as he takes my hand, guiding me out. "This is not stranger danger. We know each others first names from lit class."
"Everyone knows your name."
"Well that's even more reason not to kill you. If I did everyone would say you left with John Logan and I'd be fucked. I'm not a very good liar."
The laugh that comes out of me feels so natural, I barley remember I was upset five minutes ago. Logan leads me outside and down the road to an empty park. Then he leads me to a swing set, the swings moving slightly in the breeze.
"I thought maybe you could use some quiet and this is far enough that we shouldn't be able to hear the music or obnoxious drunk college students." He flashed a grin as he sat on one of the swings.
"Darn." I say as I sit in the swing next to him. "Seeing people barf in yards is a hobby of mine actually."
It's peaceful and comfortable. Banter is easy with him.
"Babe..I hate to break it to you but your hobbies are fucked up." He flashes me that damn grin again followed by his chuckle. "So..what's your biggest secret?" Logan asks out of the blue.
"You want to know my secrets now Logan?" I smile softly, looking at him.
"I want to know everything about you actually, just thought that was a good ice breaker." He grins "How about we start with your favorite color?"
I answer him and the night continued with random questions being answered, laughing at ridiculous jokes, me ranting about books I love and him telling me all about his hockey dreams.
Maybe I was drunk, maybe I was tired, but I could have sworn he was looking at me like I was important. Like no guy has ever looked at me before..
Yeah...definitely tired.
"You disappeared at the party." My friend Piper says as we sip our coffees on a campus bench.
"Yeah, I was having a bad night so Logan took me to a park for some quiet." I say nonchalantly as I scroll on my phone.
"Logan..John Logan? As in Briar hockey player.."
"Yes. I bumped into him when I went to get another drink and he could tell I was upset."
A sarcastic laugh sounds next to me and I look up at Piper.
"Yeah..right. And I fucked Dean Di Laurentis."
"I think he'd fuck anyone so I'm not sure why that would be a crazy thing." I turn to look at her "Do you not believe me?"
"It's just weird. I say you vanished and now you magically were with one of the most popular guys in school."
"So because you didn't see me..it's not real? You didn't even ask why I was upset."
"You can tell me why, just don't lie about who you were with."
I scoff. "You're unbelievable. I was upset because I saw you making out with Jack who you knew I had a thing for, now you're saying I'm a liar."
"You were never going to talk to Jack anyways. I mean I'm sorry if it upset you but you don't need to make up hanging out with a hock-"
"There you are." A deep voice interrupts Piper, who's eyes go wide upon hearing it.
I turn to see, of course, John Logan standing there with his killer grin. "Hi." I squeak out.
"I've been looking for you all day. You're surprisingly hard to find." He sits and puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. "So who is this?" He looks a Piper. "Let me guess, the "Friend" who was making out with the guy you liked."
"I-I-it was just a misunderstanding." Piper goes pale.
"Them being upset wasn't a misunderstanding."
"Well I just.."
"And I heard you saying you don't believe them."
I know I'm failing horribly at hiding my smile at this point. The reaction of Piper as Logan calls her out instantly perked my mood up.
"It was just-"
"Hard to believe that I'd spend time with them let alone be into them? Well I am." He squeezes my shoulder.
I look up at Logan in surprise until it clicks. He's just saying this to defend me against Piper because he's a good guy. That's all this is.
"I'm going to go." Piper stands and collects her things then walks away quickly. I never even glance at her.
Logan turns his attention back to me. "Sorry about that, she was just pissing me off."
I can't help but laugh at that. This man just showed up out of nowhere when I needed him, defended me against a mean girl, pretended to show interest in me and is now apologizing. "Are you serious?"
"What?" He furrows his brows.
"Logan you just saved my reputation and you're saying sorry?"
"......Maybe?"
A laugh leaves me again and I shake my head. After a few moments, Logan laughs with me.
"This isn't what I ordered." A voice says, the sharpness of it snapping me out of my own head.
"I'm sorry?" I say, looking down at the plate of food I just dropped off.
"This isn't what I ordered. I clearly said I wanted extra ketchup on the side and it's not there."
I look down at the grumpy, bald man sitting with a french fry gripped in his fist. "I'm so sorry sir, we'll get that fixe-"
"How damn hard is it to do ask I asked the first time?!" He raised his voice, not fully yelling but loud enough to get attention from other tables.
"Hey!" A voice I have come to know to well called out. Turning, I see Logan standing up from his chair, his friends looking at him both with confused and amused expressions. "They said they would fix it. What else do you want? Chill out."
I turn and give a small smile over my shoulder, mouthing a quick thank you before I turn back to the man in front of me. "Hockey players..am I right? I'm so sorry about this, it's our mistake, I'll get it fixed and get you a slice of pie on the house. How's that sound?"
"Well..I guess that's fair." The bald man nodded.
"Happy to do it." I flash him my customer service smile and go to get the missing ketchup and pie.
"You're so fucked." I hear the unmistakable voice of the one and only Dean Di Laurentis say as I pass the boys table. I pretend like I'm not paying attention as I get what needed for my customer, but my eyes keep drifting to Logan..
"What are you talking about? I was just being a good person..that guy was an ass. I'd defend anyone..."
"You probably would but this was different." Garrett added in a teasing tone.
"You guys are reading into things. Come on..back me up Tuck."
"Oh no. I definitely agree with them. You're whipped."
A smile grazes my lips as Logan lets out a loud sigh and glances my way. I pretend not to notice but my heart is racing, surely they are just kidding. Logan would never like me like that. Besides there has to be some flaw I haven't seen yet.
No guy is that..perfect.
I walk past the boys table and to my customer, trying to pretend I hadn't heard anything said between the friends. That part, I realized was easy, pretending not to feel Logans eyes burning into my back wasn't. I didn't feel tense, I didn't feel uncomfortable. I felt wanted and that scared me.
"You're crying." Logans gentle voice snaps my attention away from my phone and up to his worried expression. "What happened?"
"It's not what you think." A small embarrassed chuckle leaves me as I wipe my eyes quickly.
Logan tilts his head like a lost puppy, the concern showing more. "Did someone hurt you?"
"What? No. Logan." A small giggle leaves me
"Because I will fuck them up Y/N. I swear to god. Whoever made you cry-"
"Logan!" I laugh again.
Logan turns his head back to me, brows furrowed in confusion. "Then what is it?"
"Those were happy tears from a tiktotk I watched."
The look on Logans face is almost enough to send me into histarics. His brows rise so high I swear they are about to touch his hairline. "A tiktok. A tiktok made you cry?"
"Yes. Because humans can be sweet and cute when they want to be and when I get reminded of that, I get emotional. Sue me."
"Bab-" Logan clears his throat and pulls his eye contact away from me, shifting to my phone instead. "There is nothing wrong with being emotional over these things. I just thought someone upset you."
I can't help but blush softly at his words. I wipe the last stray tear clinging to my lash line and look over at him. "Would you actually care that much if someone did?"
"Of course I would." He looks at me, clear confusion on his face.
"No, I mean. I know you care because you're a good person and would care if anyone was crying but I just mean..you say it like you care about me personally. That I am crying." I ramble, looking down at my hands as I do.
"I do care because it's you." He almost whispers, his hand reaching for mine.
I lift my eyes to meet his that are already waiting for me. There is something unreadable about them. Something full of warmth and longing.
"You don't have to just say that."
"I'm not just saying it." He assures gently.
Our eyes search each others for a moment before my nerves get the better of me and I look away. Butterflies swirl around my stomach and I'm suddenly aware of how close we are. "Do you want to see the tiktok?"
Logan blinks back into himself and I can see the disappointment of the moment I ruined. He smiles anyways. "Of course. Show me the tiktok."
Panic takes over my breathing as I pace my dorm room. I'm trying to calm myself down, honestly. But everything in me is screaming something is wrong, I'm wrong. I don't know why I am the way that I am. I take things too seriously, get hurt over meaningless things and people find me annoying. I try desperately to tell myself it's not true but my brain says otherwise.
A knock breaks me from my internal breakdown and I open the door to see Logan standing there, almost looking shy. "Hey." he gives me a weak smile and leans in the door way.
"How...how did you find my dorm?"
"I saw one of your friends on campus and asked which building your dorm was in then I knocked on every door until I found yours." He's silent for a minute. "Okay that sounds way more creepy than I thought."
I can't stop the small giggle the leaves my lips. I already feel lighter and he just got here.
"I'm not creepy, I swear. It's just you weren't answering my texts and I wanted to see you. I felt like something was wrong." He looks at me, really looks me. "Hey, what's wrong?"
The gentleness in his voice makes me tear up again. "It's stupid."
"No, don't do that baby. I've got you just talk to me." He reaches up and gently wipes away a tear that escaped my lash line.
"It's just a bad day. I feel like I'm wrong. Like I'm too much or something. I can't really explain it."
Logan takes both my hands in his and kisses them. "It's okay to have a bad day. But I need you to listen to me." He loweres himself to look in my eyes. "You are not too much. You are not broken. You are not annoying or whatever else your brain is saying to you. You are perfect, there isn't a thing I would change about you. I admire, adore everything I have come to learn about you and I want to know more."
I look over his face, taking in ever detail on emotion. I know he is genuine but when I see the look in his eyes, I know he means every word.
"Are you tearing up again? Fuck no. Did I say something wrong?"
"No you silly man, you said exactly the right thing." A tearful laugh escapes me.
"Then why are you crying again sweetheart?"
"Because I have never had anyone to be here through this, to tell me what I need to hear...and mean it." A small laugh leaves my lips. "You knocked on every door until you found mine. How are you real?"
"I just missed you." He blushes a bit, squeezing my hands.
"Thank you."
"Thank you for what?" Logan looks over my face again.
"Everything. For make me feel better that night of the party, sticking up for me when that customer yelled at me, caring when you found me crying on campus and now. You've just always been there from me since we met."
"It's easy..I can't get you off my mind." He breathed out. He lets go of my hand and slowly reaches to my cheek. His palm cups it and his soft but calloused skin warms it. "You don't have to thank me, for anything."
"Well too bad. I want to." I lean into his touch. "So what can I do to pay you back."
A smirk grazes his lips and I instantly think maybe I should be scared. "You really want to know?"
"Oh god..on second thought..."
Logan chuckles softly. It's breathy and warm, all my nerves from before are instantly gone. "Come to my game on Friday and wear my jersey."
"That's it?"
"That's it baby." He presses a soft kiss to my head.
"Fine then. It's a Deal."
As promised I showed up to the game in Logans spare jersey. I felt a sense of pride knowing his last name was in big white letters on my back. Like I was his, he was mine and now we were telling the world.
I take my seat, an open one next to Hannah that is suspiciously close to the ice. I guess Logan arranged that too when he told me to sit by Wellsy.
"Y/N hi!" Hannah grins and moved her bag out of my chair. "I was so excited when Logan said you'd be coming."
"Hi." I smile. "Yeah he practically forced me." I tease as I sit.
"I wouldn't be surprised. He's been talking about you for almost a month now."
"What?" I blink and look at her.
"Oh..oh..I just mean that he." Hannah sighs and looks at me. "You know he likes you. Right? I mean really likes you."
"He's my friend, of course he likes me." I blush at her words.
"No, no. Don't do that. He like likes you."
"He's never said anything."
"Maybe he hasn't said it, but he's shown it hasn't he?"
I start replaying all our past interactions in my head after Hannah says that. It's true. He has. Every time I needed him, he showed up. Even if he got it wrong and I wasn't really sad, he tried to comfort me. He defended me against my shitty friend without hesitation, stood up for me when I had a rude customer, went to every dorm room trying to find mine. Even that very first night, he put my comfort first. He always puts me first.. "Holy shit" I breath.
"You see it now?" Hannah tilted her head with a glowing smile.
"Yeah. I think I've been blind, and an idiot. A blind idiot." I let out a shaky laugh. "He's been right in front of me this whole time and I pushed it away."
"Well, good news is you have tonight to fix that. You're here for him and that's already something."
"You're precious Hannah."
She grins widely. "So I've been told." With that she turns to the ice and waves at Garrett as he passes. Logan, who's not far behind him stops to give me a smile through the plexiglass.
Feeling brave, I blow him a kiss. Logan grins widely and pretends to catch it before skating after Garrett again.
"Oh you're so down bad." Hannah nudges my shoulder playfully.
We watch the game intently after it starts, I'm cheering so loud I'm sure my voice will be gone tomorrow. Just when I think I can't get any louder. Logan scores the game winning goal. I'm on my feet before I even think about, clapping and yelling Logans name proudly.
"Hell yeah, John Logan wins for the hawks. You can see the excitement." Jules says from the other side of me as they pan their camera to me. "Anything to say about it Y/N?"
"John Logan is a bad ass and I'm so proud of him!" I grin and turn to show off the back of my jersey, his name loud and proud. I'm grinning so wide and I want everyone to know..Logan is my person.
"You were amazing!" I yell as I ran towards Logan. He had just finished up in the locker room and met us outside. Garrett went to Hannah and from the corner of my eye I could see them embracing but I really just cared about getting to Logan.
He embraced me the moment we met, I could feel his joy radiating off of him. "I'm serious Logan. You were so so amazing. I'm so proud." I pull my face back so I could look up at him. He was already looking at me, with the softest eyes I've ever seen. Like none if this mattered if I wasn't there. Before I could think about it. I kissed him.
He melts into it quickly, his lips moving with mine. It's soft and gently but full of want. I spent so long talking myself out of this, saying he was just being nice, that he couldn't want me like this. Deprecating my value and worth because I was insecure.
But Logan..god Logan. Not once did he give up on me, not once did he make me feel like I was worth less. He's been steady, waiting for me to see how he wanted me.
Now I wanted to return the favor.
Logan moved a hand into my hair as he kisses me slightly deeper. I can feel his smile against my lips as we move together. Time seems to slow and all I focus on is him. I bring my hand up and play with the hair at the nape of his next, taking my time in the kiss. Nothing rushed. Everything perfect. It's minutes before we finally part, foreheads rested on each other.
Logan grins at me, his hand moving to cup my cheek. "Do you know how long I have waited for that?"
"Yeah..I think I just figured it out." I breath.
"I want you, all of you. I want to proudly say your mine and I'm yours."
"Do I get to keep wearing the jerseys?"
Logan lets out a warm chuckle. "You can have whatever you want baby, so long as I get to have you."
"I'm yours. Finally."
"Thank god." Logan breaths against my lips then kisses me again.
His lips against mine and I wonder why did I wait so long?
