fuck you very very much

taylor schilling || 31 || sister, prison bitch, not taylor swift don't ask me why i'm not wearing orange, i hate that damn color

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: Me too, I'm coming over tomorrow.

Anna: Well, yeah. I mean, even when we were barely friends, you were never really just a fuck to me. Like, I don't know, i've had one night stands and you were always just different for me.

Anna: Huh, well good to know I wasn't left hanging, I was nervous for a second. And yeah, I guess so, weird to think about how different things could've been if we'd been able to admit to shit with each other.

Anna: I'm sure I would've put you through the ringer in some other ways, but never about hiding our relationship, i'd be like.. super proud to date you. And for the record, i think about it too.

Tay: You better, bring lots of cookies, I'll supply the Xanax.

Tay: Well, I can say the same for you. I think I sorta always knew we'd be friends, we're so similar so clicking was super easy.

Tay: No, for the record, I returned it almost immediately, I was just less weirded out by saying it as the dream moved forward. Things could've been so different, you and I could be getting high and fucking nightly.

Tay: Yeah, the last thing I need is to be worried that someone I like doesn't want to be seen with me in that way. Glad we're on the same page about that, too (always clicking).

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: Can we eat them together and then watch the Rugrats while on a xanax high like old times (December)?

Anna: Well duh, any wet dream starring me is a great one. And if it hadn't made you feel things I would've been offended, you always made me feel things.

Anna: Dream me is nothing like real me, then. Takes real me like a million years to tell someone how I feel. Example A - didn't tell you I "liked"(god, we're gay) you until months after we weren't sleeping together anymore.

Anna: Uhm, I mean, hypothetically I can't help but wonder if you like, think about how things were with us back then.. and if you like, still think about kissing or uhm, fucking me.

Tay: Dude, absolutely, I need that so badly.

Tay: Always? Really?

Tay: You were really eager to tell me that you were in love with me, I was more eager to return it as the dream went on. Yeah, well, we're both guilty of being shy about that stuff until now.

Tay: What, when things were easy? I think about it all the time. Especially when things got hard with high-maintenance-Yale barbie. You would've never put me through that severe of a ringer. As for the end part of that, you're unforgettable in that category, so yeah, I do sometimes, I guess.

[tayschilling]

 jfc----jacob:

Alright. I wish that won’t happen because then I’ll be even more freaked out. 

Keep your TV off, start building an apocalypse shelter - my advice is quality advice, obviously.

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: is you hinting at me to bring you cookies your way of low-key hinting at wanting to make that dream a reality?

Anna: Fine? That's it? And why not? Did we not /make love/?

Anna: So, uhm, for the sake of the conversation, if we weren't occupied.. Would you want to like- like, what would you want?

Tay: Eh, I'd say ya, but I'd rather not have hell to pay in the form of your girlfriend, so just the cookies bc we can eat them together.

Tay: Well, it was a great wet dream, but it made me FEEL things.

Tay: For the sake of the conversation, I really have no idea. Dream you skipped straight from first date to "I'm in love with you" and it was a lot to take in at once. But like, uh, what did you have in mind? For the sake of the conversation.

[tayschilling]

 xhello-adelex:

So my son came to me and said, ‘look mumma I can do a flip.’ he showed me and I just laughed. He’s so funny. I think he gets is goofy gene from me. 

I think I’ve done similar things as a child, and even more similar things as an adult. Let’s hope he doesn’t grow out of it, we need more people in the world with that weird gene.

[tayschilling]

 curlyblonderobb:

I was at this restaurant one day enjoying a delicious chicken breast with extra garlic when I noticed the host yelling at one of the waitresses, and he was just bossing her around telling her what to do,at that exact moment the song”You don’t own me”Started playing and I couldn’t help but laugh to myself, Then right after that song, the song Respect with Aretha started playing, I can’t help but wonder if someone was trying to send a message.

Whoever was in charge of the radio was overhearing and very pleased with themselves, clearly. That was too perfect to just be a coincidence.

[tayschilling]

 jfc----jacob:

Since I don’t watch TV that much I think it was a bad day to start. First Independence Day was on, then The Day After Tomorrow (it felt so weird seeing myself on the screen) and finally 2012. I think television is trying to tell me something here. 

Next thing you know, you turn on Fox and Last Man On Earth will be on. Then it’ll really be an omen.

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: I don't know why you sound like you're complaining, this date sounds great. I probably would greet you with cookies instead of flowers, for both of our benefits in the long run.

Anna: I mean, it's important to me, I wanna know how dream me was at ... love making?😏

Anna: But real talk - uhm, these old feelings, are they.. you know, still there?

Tay: It was a great date, I'm just still so thrown off. The cookies were a good idea, that's the best way to open any sort of hangout (this is me hinting for you to bring me cookies next time you see me).

Tay: You were FINE, don't use that WORD.

Tay: I mean, I don't know. I didn't really think too much of them, we've both been sorta occupied lately when it comes to that sort of thing. So, like, maybe?

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: What did you ever do/suggest that I WASN'T into??

Anna: Okay, geez, I was trying that weird thing people do where they're NICE to people they like - I wasn't using the cookies to get in your pants (only a little).

Anna: Huh. So, uhm, was it good for you? Also, I know dreams aren't of like huge significance, but I feel inclined to question whether there's like a reason for the dream, you know?

Tay: I don't know, I forget that we share a brain sometimes.

Tay: Ya, but you did that in the dream BEFORE A DATE WITH ME. I would've been emotionally scarred.

Tay: Was what good for me? The dream sex? That's not the important part of this. And I dunno, I guess you telling me that you used to like me gave me old feelings again.

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: Fuck. Whoa, there are few things I regret as much as not doing that. You should have asked.

Anna: Baseball sucks, but as long as you liked it, then successful dream date. And the Levain ones, yeah I remember, I was gonna pick up before inviting myself over tomorrow.

Anna: Oh. /Oh./ So, uhm, ha, were we even fucking? Or were we.. uh, you know.

Tay: I didn't know you were INTO IT, I literally would've rly appreciated it. I'd say next time but I don't think it'll ever happen.

Tay: Dude, don't recreate our love-date-dream, I'm already in a weird head place from it. Like, I thought I would've hated it but I...didn't??

Tay: You know. But ya, I know, and I STILL woke up wet.

[tayschilling]

Text || Taylor.

Ali: I KNOW you are, but I still feel really bad and like, don't know how to stop. I just, I know I ruined things with you and that just really, /really/ fucking sucks.

Ali: Uhm, hot air ballooning, hand gliding, trapezing, sex in public.

Ali: Fruit Loops are better, but even if the Apple Jacks were discontinued, I'll find them for you somewhere. Amazon's got it all.

Ali: Nope, sorry. Rules are rules, and I stick to them.

Tay: Well, this is me telling you to stop feeling bad. What happened happened, and although your dad sucked, it wasn't the first time I've encountered people who didn't get it.

Tay: Love the last one you casually slipped in there, didn't know you were into that. The other three sound terrifying, though.

Tay: Fuck you, Apple Jacks are amazing. Please do, I've been going insane.

Tay: You're the worst, just give me donuts alreadyyyy

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: We should've made a sextape when we were hooking up, this way we'd always have that gem to get us through.

Anna: Oh, well, was the date good? I told you, I'm totally bomb at dating.

Anna: Huh, so we had nice sex? Well, that's different but I mean, when I'm not calling you degrading names as an attempt to get you to submit, I do have mostly positive thoughts about you. What kind of nice things did I say?

Tay: Dude, tbh, always wanted to ask you if we could.

Tay: The date was great, you took me to a Sox game. We ate a lot of good food, you got me those cookies I always tell you about.

Tay: Well, uh, haha, you kept saying you loved me. And you kept saying it, like, WHILE we were fucking.

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: I mean, we did /a lot/ of that in the past, so it shouldn't have surprised me when my dream went in that direction.

Anna: Like what KIND of weird shit?

Anna: The good kind that you're into or the bad kind that would turn you off? I need to know that dream me came through.

Tay: Everyone's been talking about face-sitting to me recently, I need to do it before I die from sexual inactivity.

Tay: You, like...first you took me on a date, and then we went back to my place and had sex. But sex is putting it harshly, you were saying /really/ nice things about me in between putting your tongue in my mouth.

Tay: My vagina was SO confused.

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: I GUESS.

Anna: Ohhhhh, tell me :D

Anna: Did I sit on your face? Because if so, we had similar dreams.

Tay: Ha, I WISH you had sat on my face.

Tay: You, like...you did some weird shit and you said some REALLY weird shit.

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: She sux, but you like her so I'll deal, I guess.

Anna: Oh, yeah, right after you left. My extremely inappropriate dream that we are DEF not telling Britt about because it's super questionable, haha.

Anna: but yes, continue.

Tay: You deal with Ali and I'll deal with Satan, deal.

Tay: Ugh, okay, I had one about you and I woke up SO confused.

[tayschilling]

Text || Side Chick 🔥💕

Anna: If you have to ask me not to laugh, chances are I'm going to laugh, even if I lie to you about it. So yeah, I 'won't laugh' or tell you that I did. Now tell me.

Anna: I am, and happy for you. All I want is for you to be sexually satisfied, preferably by someone you like who isn't a total bitch, but she'll do for now.

Anna: Whoa, rejection if I've ever felt it. #Ouch

Tay: She's not a bitch, she's a misguided sweetheart, but we have MORE IMPORTANT THINGS to segue into.

Tay: You know how, like, you said you had a dream about me last week or something?

[heyjoylenz-blog]

This is very true, I could’ve just said hello and left it at that without that interesting description. Hello, Taylor. It’s nice to meet you. Ooh, Apple Jacks. I love Apple Jacks cereal. So delicious. You haven’t found any?

[tayschilling]

People really appreciate personal fun facts here, I’m sure you were in the clear. But hey, likewise. Isn’t it an amazing cereal? I’ve been to three different chain grocery stores and they were either out of stock or not selling them. It’s been a heartbreaking week, to be honest.