It was all Petunia’s fault, really.
It had begun on the sort of morning where the sun is shining, birds are tweeting and nothing can possibly go wrong in the world. Lily, being on her summer holidays, had absolutely no concept of time, and therefore awoke somewhere around midday, stretching languidly in her comfy bed and yawning.
Once downstairs, she was faced with a particularly grouchy Petunia.
The argument went something like this. Lily, munching on a piece of toast, asked, “How was your date last night?”
Petunia looked up from her newspaper and snapped, “Oh my god, why are you so insensitive? You and your freakish crap and your weird magic –“
“Jesus, Lily, no one ever asked for your opinion, why’d you have to be so annoying all the time?”
Lily scowled, and in a sardonic tone, “Well, I’m sorry, all I did was ask one question about your relationship –“
Petunia huffed, “Do you really want to know? Do you? I told Vernon about your witchy rubbish and he didn’t believe me, and then we had a massive argument and everything’s ruined and –“
“Why did you argue? If he loves you he won’t mind.” Lily said, thinking (not for the first time) that Vernon must have been the worst boyfriend in the entire universe.
“What, won’t mind that you’re a freak? Of course he does. As if you even know anything about it –“ Petunia paused, flicking her long blonde hair obnoxiously. Lily scoffed.
Her sister continued, “– like you could ever get a boyfriend anyway.”
At least, that was how an extremely irritated Lily recalled the dispute. She stood up, said a few choice words to her sister (something along the lines of what the fuck, of course I can, ugh) and stormed to the kitchen, only to find that there was no milk left as the cat had had it all that morning.
Grabbing some coins from the counter and shoving her feet into the first pair of shoes she saw – which, incidentally, were Petunia’s – Lily stomped out of the house, slamming the door behind her, making sure to scuff the shoes as she walked.
Her fury began to ebb away the further she got from her house, and by the time Lily reached the corner shop she could hardly even remember why they’d had the argument. The sky was simply too blue and the day too warm for her bad mood to remain for long.
She picked up a two pint of milk and paid quickly, turning to leave. She had just spun around and taken three steps back down the road when a voice shouted out to her.
Lily turned. The voice was male, and strangely familiar, although she couldn’t quite put her finger on who exactly it was…
She spotted him then. He was sat on the opposite side of the road, seated on a wooden bench and waving at her. Lily was certain that she’d never seen anything as strange as James Potter, Quidditch Extraordinaire and pureblood, sitting in the middle of Muggle suburbia.
She crossed the road hastily, jogging over to him, where she was met with a wide grin and a one armed hug. He was holding a map of her hometown, Cokeworth.
“What on earth are you doing here?”
“Thought I’d bother you for the day. You aren’t busy, are you?”
Lily had recently developed a close friendship with James, on account of a few factors – one, because he had matured a lot and Lily appreciated his sense of humour, two, because they were house mates and she was friends with all of his and vice versa, and three, because they’d been paired up in Ancient Runes at the end of their sixth year and had to suffer through an entire project together.
All of that, in tandem with the fact that James Potter was also very attractive, meant that Lily was pretty pleased to see him, if not surprised.
“Where are the others?” Lily asked, in reference to Sirius, Remus and Peter, best friends of James who were almost always seen together.
“Sirius has a really bad case of hay-fever, and he refuses to leave the house. I’ve been going mental with all his whinging, and then he told me to piss off and visit Pete, but he’s on holiday in the country. Oh, and Remus’ furry little problem is making an appearance, so he doesn’t want me at his either.”
“So you figured you’d bug me instead?” She grinned, and he nodded.
“Pretty much. Not that you’re my last resort, or anything.”
She snorted. “Of course not.”
There was a brief pause as she studied him, all long limbs and messy hair and bright eyes behind his glasses. He spoke, “So…what d’you want to do?”
Lily frowned. Then, a thought struck her – a brainwave, if you will, because if you asked Lily it was just about the best idea she’d had in a while.
“I need you to come to my house.”
James raised an eyebrow. “What, am I going to have to meet your parents?”
“Oh, um –“ She paused, frowning, “I dunno. They might be around later. That’s okay, right?”
“Are you kidding?” He asked, before breaking out into a grin, “I have so many stories to tell them. Their little Lily, and all the mischief she gets up to at school…”
“Like that time you pranked McGonagall. Or when you made all our ties Slytherin for the day.”
“Ah, that’s not too bad.”
“Or the time when Remus found you snogging Diggory. In a broom cupboard. When you were meant to be patrolling.”
Eyes sparkling with mischief and a smirk on his lips, he laughed, “Come off it, Lily, d’you really think I’d tell them that? I don’t want to scar them for life.”
“Piss off,” she scowled, before giving him a reluctant smile, “Anyway. I need you to do me a favour at my house.”
She paused then, looking at him. Trying not to marvel at his willingness, his eagerness and loyalty and unfailing enthusiasm…
“Oh, sorry,” she took a deep breath, “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”