the curious case of the failing girl

Don’t fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.

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The reason for the silence

So I haven’t posted anything in about a week, and I know it’s very lame to start a blog and stop posting stuff after a week. But for once I think I have a ‘legit’ excuse: I’ve got a puppy!!!!! And had the flu the last 3 day, so when I’m not with the puppy, I’m in bed or on the couch under the blanket with tea. On the positive side, I did manage to work out a couple of times before I got sick and I stuck to the keto-diet so now I lost 4,5 kg (current weight, 95,5 kg). So happy about this and will post progress photo’s soon!! Hopefully I will get better by Monday and be able to start exercising again.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

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No pain, no gain

So today is Friday and I was supposed to do the full body workout, but upper body is still so sore from Wednesday (arms & abs). It is not that surprising because I never had a lot of strength in my arms. Even after years of doing taekwondo (3-4 times a week) I couldn’t do more than 30 push ups at once. So Wednesday I had to do 15 normal push ups and 15 lay down push ups. After that I wasn’t able to do many more, so I just kept it at 1 full circuit each round. At first I was kind of disappointed with myself, but than I remembered that this is the very first week and I cannot expect to have the same physical condition as I had before, so I just made peace with it. So instead of working out today I will do it on Sunday (have a little city-trip planned on Saturday), because I do intend to work out at least 3 times a week. I just forgot how much sore muscles can hurt xD

Current weight: 98 kg ^^ So I’m down 2 kg, probably lost some water weight, but still nice :D

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Day 1 photos, weight: 100 kg, length: 180 cm

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The eating part

So I want to combine working out together with a keto-diet. I chose keto because I did it once before (before the summer of 2016) and I lost 10 kg. However somewhere during the summer-holidays I started to eat everything again, but in moderate amounts so I gained a couple of kgs but was able to keep the a stable weight.

However, like I already said I failed :p so I started eating EVERYTHING again and not in very moderate amounts and before I knew it I gained almost al of my weight back. So here I am, just weighted myself and I am officially 100 kg (height 180 cm).

Anyway back to keto. So I know it works for me because it lessens my never ending hunger/need for food. I feel very saturated after a meal and can go longer without eating. The lack of fruit is sometimes frustrating, but doable. If I really crave fruit I eat some berries. Hopefully when I’m on my goal-weight I will be able to switch to a paleo-diet which allows more fruit into the diet, but for now this will work.

The other reason I choose keto is because it allows you to lose weight faster than other diets (without the starving). I am in general a very impatient person so to see result quicker than usual is always nice.

I was easing into keto for the last month, but unfortunately wasn’t able to lose any weight. It was a little demotivating, but I know it is my own fault. I was not keeping any track of my macro’s and was just eating what I thought was ok-ish. And of course I was not working out, so hopefully now it will change.

I already installed the app I use for keeping my macro’s in check (my fitness pal), so I am all ready.

For the next 3 months I will be eating max 1442 kcal per day of which max 20 grams of carbs, 75 grams of protein and 118 grams of fat.

I am really excited to see how the (good-way) keto-diet will go in combination with the bbg workout. To not demotivate myself too much I will only weigh myself once a week on Monday mornings.

Weight today (6 Feb 2017): 100 kg

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Day 1 - Leggs & Cardio

So the first day of the 3 month BBG workout ‘challange’. I went to the the gym in the morning. Did the folowing

Warm up: 15 min on eclipse trainer (175 kcal) BBG: C1: 1 full and 3/4 C2: 1 full and almost 3/4 (20 out of 24) C1: 1 full C2: 1 full

After the workouts I was feel so bad, very nauseous and without energy, but I am very happy I did it. It was so scary walking into the gym after like a half year or something, but I am proud to have done it.

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Failing

Failing is my go-to word these days. Lately I have the feeling I’ve been failing at almost everything that is important to me. It started with simple things, like waking up on time so I don’t have to start my day in a rush, then I noticed I started to fail at doing my household chores and after a while I was failing at finding joy in anything. I gained a lot of weight, lost a lot of friends(?) due to my lack of interest in meeting up with them and found myself in a place where I hated myself for all the bad decisions I’ve made over the years. Not that my life is bad or something terrible happened to me. No, I just got lazy and on thing led to another and here I am, 6 years later, +27 kg (used to be +33 kg, so yay) and only a couple of friends left to support me.

So I decided to through my life around, stop whining and take matters into my own hands. To get more confident and eventually happy again I decided to start exercising again. Before my laziness kicked in 6 years ago I was actually a quite active, super positive girl who had a red-belt in taekwondo and would never pass on an opportunity to exercise. The most important thing however is that exercising gave me tons of energy and joy. Therefore, I hope that I will not fail this journey of getting fit and healthy again, and hopefully by doing that I will find happiness in everything else as well.

For the coming 3 months I will follow the Bikini Body Guide (BBG) to get fitter in combination with the keto-diet to lose weight more efficiently. I got the idea to do the BBG from Jess and her @plankingforpizza Instagram. She is so inspiring and positive which makes you want to work out. I’ll start tomorrow, Monday 6th of February and will upload the ‘before’ picture, my weight and measurements. From the deepest of my heart I hope that this blog, even if no one is reading it will help me to stay motivated and, for a change, not fail.

Lots of love, Elise