antihcroes:
@tcmmenbarathecn – closed starter for Cersei & Tommen.
CERSEI knew a lot of things - she knew she was meant to rule and before she had been brought to this town, she believed people could not come back from the dead. Once they were gone, it was over and… their loved ones were left behind, struggling to move on without those that mattered the most. She had known pain like that – three times her children had been taken from her and three times she had mourned, until.. until she couldn’t do so, not anymore.. how many times could one suffer such pain until they lost themselves completely? She had forced herself to move on, to slowly.. slowly moved on for the sake of her family, for the sake of the Lannister name, for Jaime.. but with the death of each of her children, a piece of Cersei’s heart had been taken away, until there was nothing left anymore but a hole, where her heart used to be. Where they used to be.. one day, when she was still happy and didn’t know it.
And still, if there was anything that being brought into this town had taught her.. it was that death was not permanent, not anymore. Her mother, her father, her children… all here, all except for Tommen, her sweet Tommen.. the one who did not deserve half of what he got. He had been the last one Cersei had left – her baby boy, her sweet lion.. she had never meant for him to die, not when it was not him that she had wanted to hurt. Not at all. She… she couldn’t speak of it; not even after.. not even when Jaime had begged her to talk about Tommen, about their baby boy’s death.. but she couldn’t. If she did, she would lose herself completely and fall down into the pit of darkness once more.. and Cersei couldn’t let that happen.
Not with a child on the way, not when the Lannister name still depended on her and how she would react to next few months of the war. But still.. Tommen had been her greatest loss, the one who had finally sent her down the dark path.. the one where she simply did not care at all. Losing him… losing him had made her lose the best part of herself, whatever little light was still left after her enemies had their way with her. But still – with Joffrey and Myrcella appearing here, alive and well.. Cersei couldn’t help it but allow herself to hope. If they could be here, so could Tommen. He was a good boy, a gentle boy, a great king.. if anyone deserve to lived, it was him. She would have gladly given her life for his if she could, without a second thought.
And yet, Cersei could not but still, she found herself hoping to see his face among the crowd, with each moment that she passed outside. And one day… one day her faith was rewarded, when she saw a very familiar face in the middle of the crowd, sitting all by himself.. alone. Alone and yet alive and well … all that Cersei had ever wanted for him. She didn’t even think. She moved in closer to the other, trying to wipe away the tears but failing horribly at it, wanting nothing more than to have her boy in her arms again. “ Tommen? “ She whispered, voice cracking at the end… but it wasn’t words that her son needed, not now. Wrapping her arms around him, Cersei pulled Tommen into her arms, cradling his head as she pulled him closer. “ I am sorry.. I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.”
tommen was told, when he ascended to the throne, that the kingdom needed someone like him. someone to bring westeros back together after the war. he had always tried to be a good person, but then he had to be a good king. it was expected from him. he knew it was. so he did as he was told. he listened to his mother, to his counselors, to the high sparrow. tried his best. all he wanted was to protect those he loved and in the end... well. he had failed. a stupid, naive boy. that’s all he was.
seeing the sept of baelor blow up had been the breaking point for tommen. he had finally thought that he had done the right thing. not only for kings landing and the rest of the kingdom, but also for his family. those he loved. by working with the high sparrow, letting the crown and church rule side by side, it had freed margaery. it had saved her from the same fate his mother had faced. mother... if there was one person in this new world that he missed the most, it was her.
of course, he missed ser pounce, but he had other cats now. as well as as margaery, his wife. love was a strange thing, tommen knew that. it came in all forms. his love for her was not the same as his love for his famiy. a different love. he longed for her. there was his sister, myrcella, whom he had not seen since she was shipped off to dorne. tommen had wept for her then and wept once more when she returned. over her limp and dead body. she did not deserve to die. she was sweet and kind and beautiful. joffrey on the other hand... he had bullied him, scared him. joff was not a good king. or a good person. but still, he was tommen’s brother and he loved (even slightly missed him all the same). he missed his father. even though some people say he was a fool, tommen enjoyed his funny jokes and stories. then there was his uncle jaime... there were rumors. that instead of an uncle, jaime was his father. tommen didn’t know -- didn’t understand, what to believe. but what he did know is that he cared for him just the same. strong, brave, righteous jaime lannister. who he always aspired to be like.
but when it came to his sister cersei, the queen regent, tommen’s lady mother-- well, tommen’s heart ached for her. to be in the embrace of her arms. his mother loved him very much. that much tommen knew. a love that tommen returned. after all, it was only the two of them left in the end. when she was arrested after margaery, he wouldn’t eat. he couldn’t sleep. all he wanted was to see her safe. that’s why he confined her to the red keep after the high sparrow.
tommen tried to ignore such thoughts now. in this new land, they weren’t needed. weren’t wanted. he had a new life. no responsibilities, no one to impress. yet here he was, sat alone on a bench, sadness etched on his face. tommen was given a second chance at life and he was still mourning for people he would never see again. until... “m--mother?” tommen stuttered, allowing himself to be pulled into an embrace by her. he wanted to say something else. there were a lot of things he wanted to say to her. but his mind couldn’t find coherent words. so instead, he settles for hugging her back, resting a head on her shoulders as tears slipped out.
