Teddy E. Dawson

Age: 27 Location: Monarch Relationship Status: Long Distance Occupation: Journalist/Photographer

[te-dawson]

Letters

Public Service Announcement:

Patient 471: Thaddeus Eric Dawson is prohibited from having visitors for the time being. Sorry for the inconvenience.

---

Letters from Teddy:

For Nathaniel Phelps

For Hunter Morrison

For Rebecca and Ivan Harrods

For Violet Sanders

[te-dawson]

Preventative Measures | Teddy , Becca, & Ivan

[msharrods-blog]

Becca was at a loss for words. On the one hand, she wanted to shake Teddy and scream why at him; why he didn’t tell her as soon as it had happened, why he had waited for something like this. But on the other, she realized that if she had contracted any kind of illness like that, she wouldn’t have told anyone either; she was too stubborn for that. Not that she thought that Teddy was stubborn or selfish, he was anything but; he was selfless and didn’t want to burden his friends with his problems. But the thing about friends is that they are going to be there for each other’s troubles and triumphs. Her delicate hand covered Teddy’s in a comforting manner, “Please, Teddy, don’t apologize, I get it. I mean, I wouldn’t’ve told anyone either.” She admitted, keeping her eyes on Teddy. She hadn’t even realized that she had been crying until she wiped under her eyes.

[te-dawson]

Teddy kept his gaze down, unable to look his friends in the eyes. "I.. I just.." he thought of the right words to use, "I just didn't want anything to change," he rubbed his clammy hands together.

He breathed in deeply then released a heavy sigh. "I'll... I'll be okay. The reason why I passed out was because the viral counts got messed up... but I'll be alright in a few days... but.. but you should both get going. I'll be fine, I don't want to keep you here longer than necessary," he tried to give them a reassuring smile. He wasn't sure how convincing it was. "Oh, but.. before you go, would you mind... there's a dark blue folder in the front pocket of my luggage case. There are... there are a few letters there." He breathed another sigh, "I'm sorry to ask you to do this, but... could you make sure the people they're for get them?" He gave them a sad smile. He had prepared some short messages in case of a situation just like this one.

[te-dawson]

Preventative Measures | Teddy , Becca, & Ivan

[msharrods-blog]

Ivan’s smile was infectious, it was strange how just the thought of Teddy had this effect on her. Teddy always made the petite girl smile, from his crazy antics to his adorable stutter he did when he felt awkward. She nodded, “You’re right, he wouldn’t want me to worry..” Which is precisely why they are in this mess.

She leaned forward and laid a simple, yet sweet, kiss on his cheek, “Thanks, sweetheart, you’re the only thing keeping me together right now.” She admitted, her blue eyes remained on his, feeling ever so grateful that she had Ivan there with her. He knew how Becca felt about hospitals, and he was her rock.

Before Ivan got a chance to respond, a nurse sped-walked toward the pair, “Are you two Ivan and Rebecca Harrods?” They nodded and jumped up to their feet, “Mr. Dawson is awake and requesting the two of you come see him.” They followed the nurse through the labyrinth of corridors until they finally made it to Teddy’s room. The petite blonde bit down on her bottom lip, unsure of what to do next, she just kind of looked at Teddy hooked up to a drip. “Hey Teddy.” She said softly, cautiously approaching his side.

[te-dawson]

Teddy dried his tear-stained face as thoroughly as he could before Ivan and Becca arrived. The best he could do was make sure he didn't look too distraught, it would only make matter worse. He adjusted his bed to a seated position to make the following conversation easier for all of them.

He heard the door open and looked up to see Becca enter the room, followed closely by Ivan. Teddy's face brightened immediately at the sight of two of his closest friends. He gave them a a bittersweet smile; happy for their presence but sad for what he was putting them through.

"Hey," he replied softly, anything louder would break the little control he had over his tears at this point. It was taking every ounce of strength in him not to start sobbing hysterically. "Uh- take a seat," he said, gesturing to two chairs next to his bed. He waited for them to sit down, both utterly silent.

Teddy cleared his throat to suppress the sob that nearly crawled its way out before he spoke again, "So.. I should explain," he was looking down at his hands; one rubbing the palm of the other, "you two remember back in 2018 when I was doing that story in Africa, right? When I got shot twice," he glanced up at them for a moment and caught sight of their silent nods, then back to his hands. "I.. I had to get stitches for the wounds and I had lost a lot of blood so I needed a transfusion or... or else I would have died..." Teddy said, taking a shaky breath, "But little did they know... that.." he paused to swallow thickly, "that the blood. The blood was infected with HIV." His hands had stopped fidgeting now and instead both clasped the blanket lying across his legs tightly. Words began to pour from his mouth as everything along with the emotions came back to him, "I.. I didn't even know until six months later. It felt like it was the flu or something so I thought I was just having a really bad cold. But when I went to the doctor to get some cold medicine, they tested my blood and. And," Teddy's eyes were closed and tears began to trail their way down his cheeks and dripped onto the blanket, "They found it. They found the virus." A choked noise escaped his throat as his hands let got of the blanket. He swallowed back sobs and opened his eyes as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. He breathed a heavy sigh then said, "That's when I knew. I knew I couldn't tell anyone," his gaze was focused intensely on the rough outline of his feet under his blanket, brows furrowed, "I couldn't let anyone worry about me. It wasn't their problem. It wasn't.... It isn't something everyone needs to worry about. I just... I didn't want anyone to treat me differently.. or change their lives because of me.." he trailed off. "I don't want people to worry," he said, almost a whisper. He slowly lifted his head and looked at the couple that sat next to him, fresh tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

[te-dawson]

Preventative Measures | Teddy , Becca, & Ivan

[ivanharrods-future-blog]

Ivan’s head was still spinning from everything that had just happened. This was the last thing he had expected to happen to his best male-friend. Ivan was able to keep his calm for most of the ambulance ride, he had to for Becca. She was never the one to be able to confront problems like this, she always just froze up but Ivan understood. It was what she needed to do.

Standing in the middle of the waiting room after Teddy had been wheeled off Ivan then felt powerless. The whole way he had both hands occupied; One in Teddy’s hand, and the other tightly wrapped around Becca’s frail hand making sure she was also okay.

Now all Ivan could do was hold the small woman beside him and wait for someone to be able to tell him what happened. Turning towards Becca, Ivan said the only thing that could come to his mind “Darling we should sit down, you look really pale.” Before waiting for an answer Ivan sat her down and took the seat beside her not stopping their contact the whole time. 

After sitting in silence for what Ivan knew was too long he turned to Becca and with two fingers he moved her face so that they could make eye contact, The most important thing in their relationship. “You know Teddy will be okay, and the last thing he would want is for you to be worried.” Ivan always smiled when he talked about Teddy, it was amazing that a friend had an effect on him like that. “You know he would get all flustered and he would stutter and do that funny thing with his hands.” 

The last thing Ivan could do was plant a small kiss on the forehead of the girl he loved and await a response from her or a doctor. 

[te-dawson]

Teddy lay unconscious on the floor for ten minutes before Becca and Ivan arrived home. Knick paced frantically and barked in confusion at his unresponsive body.

Blips of foggy haze broke through his lack of consciousness. Muffled noises and delayed movements were barely felt as the minutes ticked by.

Then, he awoke to silence. Teddy slowly opened his eyes to see the whiteness of a hospital ceiling above him. His eyes adjusted slowly to the light as he blinked away the darkness. He lifted his head up from the pillow and cleared his throat. It was intensely dry but he tried to hazard a few words, "Uh.. -ahem- h-hullo?" he rasped, slowly turning his head to scan the room. He was alone and his voice went unanswered, so he let his head drop back to the pillow. He sighed heavily and worried about nothing in particular. Minutes or maybe hours passed, as Teddy lay there thinking about nothing, until the door opened and a young woman in a nurse's uniform walked in, "Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling Mr..." she paused as she checked the patient sheet, "Mr. Dawson?" she asked, giving him a kind smile. Teddy jolted up to sitting position immediately and words flew from his mouth, "I.. uh... I feel confused. What happened to me? How did I get here?" he asked, brows furrowed, and his heart racing. He had an inkling of an idea of what might be the root cause, but he needed to be sure. "Mr. Dawson, your friends.." she checked her sheets again, "Rebecca and Ivan Harrods brought you in two hours ago. You were unconscious at the time. Your viral count has spiked dramatically since your last check up and at this point you're at high risk of rapidly progressing. We're speculating that's what caused you to lose consciousness back at your hotel," the nurse said, with a tinge of sadness on her face. "But.. but how? I've been keeping up on my meds and... Oh god this can't be happening right now," Teddy covered his face with his hands, he could feel tears begin to well up in his eyes. "Sometimes when your body is put under stress, your immune system is weakened... it gives the virus a chance to.. to spread. Or at least attempt to. At this point, we've increased your doses so your chances of re-stabilizing is quite high. But, to be safe, we'll have to keep you under surveillance for several days," the nurse said with a curt nod, jotting down something on the sheet, "Are you feeling well, otherwise? Any pain, fatigue?" Teddy sighed and willed the tears to hang back, "Yeah.. yeah. I'm feeling pretty good. Just thirsty," he gave the nurse a small smile. "Alright, I'll bring you some water and applesauce, anything else?" she asked. Teddy thought for a moment before asking, "Did.. did anyone tell Becca and Ivan.. why. Why I'm here? Why all this is happening?" he was almost frantic now. He had kept this from them, from everyone, for so long to keep them from worrying, but now that they don't know... they're probably losing their minds. The nurse shook her head, "No, we only inform next of kin of confidential details, and currently you have... Daniel H. Scott listed as yours." "Right," Teddy said and paused before saying, "Can.. can you please send them in? I... I should explain everything to them. It's about time I did." The nurse gave a curt nod, "Certainly, I'll be just a few minutes with your water and applesauce first," she said then swiftly left the room.

Teddy plopped his head back down on the pillow and breathed in shakily.

Then the tears began to flow freely down his cheeks.

[te-dawson]

Preventative Measures | Teddy, Becca, & Ivan

Teddy had been staying at the penthouse for the past two days, keeping Becca and Knik company until Ivan arrived. Now Teddy found himself in the hotel with only Knik.

"You're bored too, huh?" he asked the dog, as he lay on his stomach in the middle of the living room. Teddy rolled over to look at the ceiling and sighed, "Maybe we should go for a walk. Becca and Ivan are out having fun so why shouldn't we?- oh god - Knik!!"he crawled away from the canine's slobbering and wiped the spit from his face. He glared at the dog before laughing, "Eugh. So I'll take that as a very gross yes." He smiled as Knick sat back on his haunches and lifted his front paws into the air and gave a short happy 'woof'.

"Uh huh, you drooly creature," Teddy pat the dog on the head and walked past him to the hallway closet to grab the leash. "Uh- Let me just get a bottle of water and some bags for when you go number-two on the sidewalk. We don't want a repeat of last-time, do we? I'm not dealing with angry muscle-builders with dog crap on their shoes today," he said as he strolled to the kitchen to retrieve what he needed, then headed towards the door again.

He just turned the knob when he stopped suddenly. Teddy's knees shook as he fell forward against the door. "Oh... fuck," he mumbled as his legs gave out and he fell onto his back in the entrance-way. He heard barking and far-off whimpers before he blacked out completely.

[te-dawson]

29.08.2013 Old to New

Hi. I’m back. It’s been a long time. Like years.

---

Jeez. I just read through some of my old stuff… I almost forgot about Ethan and our almost sort of thing. That.. that would’ve.. hmm. I wonder how different my life would be right now. I might have had a kid with him. Might have had a family. Wow… Crazy stuff.

---

So I’m bored of my teenage rants now. Time for a current update I guess. The gonorrhea story’s gross so I’ll just not talk about that at all. There isn’t really much else in my life though, other than Dan.

Dan. Fucking Dan.

Sometimes I love him so much for.. for just being with me. And then sometimes I hate him for it. It sounds kind of silly, right? But I mean. He could die at any moment out there flying helicopters in war-torn regions. Hell, I could end up in the hospital dying any moment too… But… we both know that. We both know… that nothing’s forever. And we’re still together. We still… we still love eachother all the same. And that makes me so damn happy and sad and angry all at the same time. Love is complicated.

Maybe I should backtrack a little and explain…

So:

We’ve been together for… nearly two years now. We talked a lot when I was doing my story in Iraq back in 2021; mostly during the boring helicopter rides between camps. I didn’t even know he was gay. Not even when he asked for my contact info. I’m too oblivious about these things, clearly. But we kept in touch after I went back to L.A. and when he got released from service a few months after, he invited me to his brother’s wedding as his plus one. That’s when the flashing red sign went off. I made a fool out of myself (like usual) and asked him to be certain. That was great. Good job, Teddy. You idiot. So I went and it was awkward because we hadn’t even dated and I was meeting all of his family. And extended family. Yes, it was overwhelming. Not as overwhelming as the whole talk we had soon after, though. About my thing. Yeah. The thing. I wrote an entry about it about 4 years ago. Crazy that it’s been so long. Anyway, he took it surprisingly well; probably because death doesn’t scare him anymore. Which was a relief but also a shock. You can never be prepared for the conversation to go well. Not that I would know since literally no one else knows. We dated for a year then decided to get a condo together. We’ve been inseperable. It’s kind of gross in the cutesy coupley sort of way. I want to gag every time I overthink it. We’re that couple now. Ugh.

Then this summer we got news that they needed him to go back.

Mhmm. Back to war. Just when I was getting used to the idea of having him around until my dying breath and stuff.

This is my life as an adult now. And I’m not enjoying it.

Anyway, now I’m here. At Monarch. Again. We’ll see how this goes.

---

I’m spending the next little while with Becca and Knik (HE’S GOTTEN FLUFFIER- I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE) at the hotel penthouse while we wait for Ivan to show up. I also had an interesting time with Hunt and Nate last night too… heart to hearts and reminiscing is always good. For now I’m just hanging out until official reunion things get underway.

[te-dawson]

Fall 2023

Dan going back to Iraq. Fuck.

[futurery]

Oh my god, not you too Teddy!

[te-dawson]

I think it's better than Hunter Phelps. And Natey boy doesn't need more things to inflate his ego haha

[future-hunter]

Lot of familiar faces around here...

[future-hunter]

Yeah, cooking 101 for you! Don’t mention it, you know you’re family.

Uh-huh, misinformed. The free drinks were awesome but I still don’t know how I feel about having another dude grind up on me… Exactly, baby face! Besides, if a Teddy bear had stubble then you’d scare all the kids away!

[te-dawson]

Woo! About time haha. Same goes for you! If you're ever in Montreal, you know where to find me

Ahahahaha your face was priceless oh my godddd. But seriously, it was a pretty good night. Ughh. You have stubble and you're fine with kids!

[futurery]

No. It sounds ridiculous. Do you really think he’s going to want to be named that? 

[te-dawson]

I was considering suggesting my name, but... Thaddeus is a horrible name.

But Theodore Phelps. It has a ring to it, no?

[future-hunter]

Lot of familiar faces around here...

[future-phelps]

Hah, I just realized that I’m asking my two year old to move out. 

[te-dawson]

No no no... you're giving her the option to move out. And it would mean more time for you and Ryan to get it on.

[future-hunter]

Lot of familiar faces around here...

[future-phelps]

Maybe this shouldn’t be a tree house, then. It can’t be safe having my kid that high up a tree. You know those plastic houses people buy for their kids? It should be like that! Except wood and bigger!

[te-dawson]

Well it doesn't have to be super high... just build on lower branches? So... like a kiddie house? But awesomer and bigger. She can learn a lot of responsibility and independence from that

[future-hunter]

Lot of familiar faces around here...

[future-phelps]

Yea, yea, good call. I should look into tree planters and see if I can buy a really big tree? Do they do that? Hm..

[te-dawson]

I doubt they sell trees big enough for treehouses in planters... Maybe buy a small forest or something and find one to build in? I don't know the first thing about treehouse building...

[te-dawson]

Spring 2023

Nate and Isabelle. And Dan got to hold her. Aren't they just adorable?

[future-hunter]

Lot of familiar faces around here...

[future-phelps]

It should be exactly what it’s called.. a tree-house!It should be like an apartment. Kitchen, living room, bedroom…like a palace!

[te-dawson]

You're going to need a really big tree. Maybe two.

[future-hunter]

Lot of familiar faces around here...

[future-phelps]

Oh, man. We’re in our late twenties and still getting ludicrous ideas like this. Good. Cause I definitely can’t build it by myself and Isabelle will be so happy.

[te-dawson]

I think you mean awesome. It's going to be so awesome. It can have a little kitchen and a slide and swings and.... okay. Getting carried away already.

[msharrods-blog]

I never thought I'd be back in London

[msharrods-blog]

Maybe I can get Ethan to do that… I mean, he knows a guy.

Okay, I’ll start tonight, I’ll order a shit ton of takeout for us.

He is, and I told him you were on your way and he’s tearing around the fucking room like the puppy he is.

[te-dawson]

Oh god. Of course he does.

YES. PANDA EXPRESS PLEEEEEEEEASE. I've been craving that for a week!

AHHHHHH. I'm going to start hyperventilating if I don't get there soon. I NEED TO CUDDLE HIM. I NEED TO.

[insert even more excited gif]