@tea-eaterz - Tumblr Blog

the sh scars on my ankle are killing me every time i have shoes on... idk what to do about it

#they're old scars #thought i made them heal well but apparently not #they've hurt before but no like this and for so long #i'm not about to show them to anyone #and internet has been useless

Dealing with ppl forcing me to eat a lot is VERY hard to manage, i just feel like yelling and crying but i act as if everything was fine.

#at least when i binged or overate i was the one responsible #but when i feel i'm getting better w/ dealing w/ dinners i would have avoided before #and trying to manage it in a way that's less anxiety inducing possible #BUT THEN being FORCED to eat even more to the point where my stomach is full and starts to hurt but i still have to eat more gives me #binges throwback #and that's not something i want to re-live!

the dinners with the grand-parents are slowly killing me!

#i love them but THE FOOD!!!#i mean THE FOOOOD #plus the anxious exams toughts #AND my professor who's not responding to my questions #i love her too but i won't be able to breath normally until she says it's okay and i can go on w/ my project #!!!

life is falling appart *again* and i don't know how to externate all the baaad feelings and anxiety pouring on me so guess i'll be writing some things on here (feel like talking to myself but w/ the self being an actual other person...logics of my brain)

#what a coincidence it's actually exam seasons #...#also dealing w/ those feelings & thoughts was so much easier with sh #or am i just telling myself that because i want to do it sooooo badly and i can't #and i'm just projecting old memories even though i don't really remember how it felt #i mean who am i kidding i actually know very well how it felt!#fck all this