twinkle toes

26/nz

[drefvalentine]

a comprehensive list of possible apartment maintenance issues, according to the online portal:

you either have spiders or its something else

[o-lanterns]

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

[sparrow-va]

[systemic-dreams]

there’s a lady on the train knitting so aggressively and quickly that her needles clack like some sort of cartoon character and I am super intimidated

[systemic-dreams]

she smashed out a shawl in like 35 minutes and now she’s aggressively eating a sandwich. i cant

[systemic-dreams]

that sandwich is gone. packet of chips? gone. fuel for the knitting machine that she is. she’s at it again

[everythingfox]

[everythingfox]

Making friends with ducks

[arborealgargoyle]

the ducks, constantly wiggling with Questions: what is this thing? can we eat it?

the capybara, at one with the universe: i am all things, and my footsies are wet

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

there’s just SOMETHING about capybaras that fascinates all other animals

[andrewbelami]

That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?

[pendejx-deactivated20200323]

25796323689432 feet you say?

[dadpat-tactual-deactivated20230]

This post turns 11 next month and it continues to be one of the funniest on this damn site

[doriansbutt]

Wake up babes new ‘it fuckin wimdy’ pic just dropped

[memewhore]

[a-gay-catgirl]

- @dayvan

[vixvigil]

“hey it could be worse” well i would like it not to be. how about that

[ceronprime]

[squidsoupofficial]

I love seeing people adopt phrases I say like yes say my words boy

[havingrevelations-deactivated20]

we should have started rioting when they took cd and dvd player slots out of laptops

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

happy 10 years of spiders georg everyone

[inber]

BLAAARGH!! PUT THE COALS WITHIN MY MOUTH! ROAST YOUR FOOLISH MARSHED MALLOWS!! COLLECT THE ASHES FROM MY ASS TRAY and dispose of them responsibly, especially if they are still warm, fires are no joke. Uh. BLAARGH!!

[blood-and-breath]

[robot-pup]

he cannot read :(

[soberscientistlife]

It is exhausting!