Sometimes fanfiction is a love letter to the original canon, sometimes it’s just that one telegram that says “Fuck you. Strongly worded letter to follow”.
And sometimes it’s 95 things that canon did wrong, nailed to a door.

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Sometimes fanfiction is a love letter to the original canon, sometimes it’s just that one telegram that says “Fuck you. Strongly worded letter to follow”.
And sometimes it’s 95 things that canon did wrong, nailed to a door.
Try - Chuffy Fic
She sits alone listening to a song on the radio – not a Christmas song, that would be too much, but she needed something to break the silence.
And you know I got to try Even though my heart is on the line Even if I'm broken on the inside There's nothing I won't do to make it right You know, you know I got to try
Listening as tears roll down her face she picks up a pen and begins to write.
December 25th 2018
I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to start this letter to you, I don’t know how to change things but I’ve got to try, if I don’t try then we have nothing and I cannot accept that, I won’t accept that – I just can’t.
Oh, Charlie, what have I done? What have I done to you? To us? To me? I do understand how you are feeling, I understand that right now you cannot bear to see me, touch me, be near me. I understand that I have caused all of this pain that you are going through but please try to understand what I’m going through too.
I’m not well Charlie, I haven’t been well for a while. When I said that I’ve got a fight on my hands I didn’t mean about him, about getting over him (he means nothing to me, he never did mean anything to me – I cannot stress that enough to you, but that’s up to you to believe me or not). I meant that I have a fight on my hands to get well, to see a way through.
You are going to read this and shake your head in that way you do, I can see you now rubbing the back of your neck with your hand, wincing slightly. I am sorry I haven’t told you this, I couldn’t. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t find the words. I thought that if I said them out-loud then it would be true, that my world would come crashing down around me, but it already has and I didn’t say anything. I’ve lost you already – what more can I lose? You are my world Charlie Fairhead and I’ve lost you so it can’t really get any worse.
She takes a deep breath, wipes away the tears that just will not stop and continues…
I went to the doctors a while ago now, he prescribed me anti-depressants – I was feeling so down, as if I just couldn’t go on any more. You were working so much, we were working different shifts, we had become strangers, nothing more than work colleagues who saw each other from time to time to say hello to – we weren’t us any more. Please don’t think that I am making excuses for my behaviour, I’m not – really I’m not, I just want, need, you to understand how I’m feeling, how I’ve been feeling for a long time.
She pauses, puts the pen down and reads what she has written, shaking her head she wipes new tears away wondering if what she has written is too much, if it looks like she is blaming him for what happened. She tunes back into the music playing in the background…
Even if I'm stopped at every turn Even if I lose it, crash and burn I won't quit until your love I've earned You know, you know I got to try
The song resonates so clearly in her head – it means so much, he means so much. Picking up her pen, she continues to write, knowing this may be the last chance she has to explain herself before she leaves for good, before she picks up her already packed bags and … well, she doesn’t know, but she does know she cannot stay here, not without him loving her, not without him being there by her side. She just cannot do it.
This isn’t sounding how I wanted it to, I don’t want you to think that I’m blaming you in any way. This is all my fault, I have accepted that, I accepted it at the time it happened. So, please, don’t think that I am writing this to blame you. I just need to explain.
It all started months ago. I’ve spent a lot of time looking back on my life since then, trying to understand where I’ve gone wrong, where it all went wrong. In doing that, I’ve started having flashbacks. Flashbacks of different parts of my life – never the good parts though, always the bad parts and there are so many to choose from! The main one seems to be to when I was raped. I’ve r-lived that night so many times over the past few months, I constantly find myself asking myself why I didn’t go to the Police at the time. Alicia was so much braver than I was when the same thing happened to her. She faced him in court. I didn’t. That is something I have always regretted. I have lived with that regret for decades, how could I have let that man get away with it? How many more women could he have raped because of me not having the courage to tell? I live with that guilt on a daily basis. You and Megan were so kind to me, you honoured my decision and looked after me, I could not have asked for anything more, but it haunts me all the time. Things are different now – counselling is offered to victims of such crimes, but it wasn’t available then. I do wonder how differently I might feel had I have been offered something like that back then.
Then the panic attacks started. Every day I have at least one – it is so frightening, I don’t feel like me anymore. I was so happy and confident when I came back from New Zealand having left Ryan, I had finally done something for me – not for him, not for the boys, but for me. I had a bad one when I nearly gave that young woman the wrong medication, after you shouted at me. What would have happened if you hadn’t seen me doesn’t bear thinking about. The panic attacks have got worse since I started taking the tablets, I thought they were meant to improve things but they haven’t – if anything I’ve got worse.
When Jan brought me into the ED that time when I had fallen I lied Charlie, I lied. I have fallen before, more than once, more than twice, too many times for it to be “just be an accident”. Previously, I have managed to sort myself out but this time I actually hurt myself badly – I wanted it to be you that came home, you that saw me there on the floor and you that sorted everything out…but you sent Jan.
I black out, I stumble, I trip, I lose my balance and when I come too (yes, I do lose consciousness) I don’t know what has happened and why I am lying on the floor.
It’s not just that though Charlie, I’m depressed all the time, I feel so down and fed up with everything. I am tired all the time, I cannot sleep at night which makes me even more tired, I try to sleep but I just can’t. I am so lonely in the house when you are at work. I just rattle around on my own willing sleep to come, then, I get up in the morning and go to work so tired I am irritable and agitated all the time.
I don’t know for definite what is wrong with me Charlie, but I’ve got a good idea. I am slowly losing my mind, I’m forgetting things, losing things, I put things down and I can’t remember what I’ve done with them. What I do know is that I cannot deal with this on my own – I need you to fight with me, to fight for me when I can no longer fight for myself.
Once again, she stops to wipe the tears away. How can she send this to him? Make these demands on him after everything that has happened, after everything she has done. Perhaps leaving without sending it is the better option, running away has worked in the past – how many times she has run away instead of confronting her fears, her feelings, her life? Too many to count really, too many to think about now. The song has changed; she listens to the lyrics, losing herself in the words.
Feels like I've been up for days I've been in a purple haze Round and round and round I go Can't we start again and just take it slow
I know you're hurt, you're hurting bad And you got every reason to be mad But I know you wanna be with me Well this is crazy
I know we're better, better, together, together Oh, what a mess we made I know we're better, better, together, together We may never be the same
Picking up her pen one final time she finishes her letter to the man she loves with all her heart, who has been there through everything, who was, is and always will be her best friend.
I know I don’t have the right to ask anything from you (not after what I have done to you, to us), but I cannot do it alone Charlie, you are my best friend, the man I love more than anything in the world.
I love you my dear, sweet Charlie
Forever yours
Duffy
Xxx
She folds the letter up, puts it in an envelope and picking up her bag walks out of the door to her room at the B & B, closing it quietly behind her. Walking slowly out of the building she looks up at the sky and smiles faintly at the stars that twinkle above her, tears still streaming down her face she turns left down the street she has come to call home towards his house, their house.
Darkness shrouds what was once her home, clearly there isn’t anyone in, assuming he is at work she lifts the latch on the gate and slowly walks up the path and posts the letter through the letterbox.
“That’s it,” she whispers to the door, “the end, goodbye my Charlie, I love you, I will always love you.”
He's just missing his Duffy.
😭😭😭😢😢😢💔💔💔
Growing Pains. Part 16a (NSFW)
Cowritten with @disastrousintention. Trigger warning for discussion of eating disorders.
-x-
Jake rose early on his eighteenth birthday and after opening his presents he headed out the house. His parents presumed he was going over to Krystal's so were surprised when she turned up on their doorstep a couple of hours later.
“Hi,” Charlie said with a smile. “I thought Jake was already with you?”
"No, we agreed to meet here." Krystal replied, bemused.
“We haven’t seen him since about 9am this morning.”
"His phone just rang when I called him to say I was coming over."
Charlie frowned, “Come in. I don’t know where he’s gone.”
"He mentioned having something important to sort that he had to do this morning but he said he'd be back by now."
“Do you know what that was?”
"No, he wouldn't tell me. Said it was a surprise."
“Ok.”
It was about twenty minutes later when Jake arrived back at the house. Just as everyone was starting to get concerned about where he'd disappeared to.
“Where have you been?” Charlie asked Jake as he made himself known.
"Sorry, I didn't expect there to be such a long queue."
“A long queue for what?” Krystal asked, “I’ve been here ages, you said you wouldn’t be long.” She pouted.
"Sorry. Is everyone else here?"
“Do you want the whole family in the living room?” Charlie asked.
"Please dad." Jake smiled.
Charlie got everyone including Duffy into the lounge. The only people that weren’t there were Holly and Peter.
"So, um, you're probably all wondering where I've been this morning..." Jake began.
“Yes, where have you been?”
"Well you all know that I recently managed to get Andrew's parental rights removed and whilst that was great there was one thing that it didn't achieve. But I was able to do that today." Jake grinned.
“What’s that?” Tilly asked as she frowned and tilted her head.
Jake pulled a certificate out of his pocket and held it up for the others to see. "Say hello to the newest member of the Fairhead family."
Charlie’s eyes filled with tears, “Is that what I think it is?”
"Yep. Changed it by deed poll."
Charlie smiled brightly, “That’s amazing!”
"I've kinda been telling people that's my name anyway for years but now it's official."
Charlie wiped away a tear from his cheek.
"It'll take a while for all the rest of my paperwork to catch up but I don't really care."
Duffy smiled brightly, “That’s amazing news Jake!”
"So you're a Fairhead like us now?" Lottie asked.
Jake nodded, “I certainly am.”
"Cool."
“Now we’ve all got the same name.”
"Fairhead bundle!" Tilly yelled, diving towards Jake.
Jake smiled as he wrapped his arms around his sister. The rest of the siblings dived on Jake resulting in a Fairhead family sandwich!
"If you've finished squashing him can I give him his present now?" Krystal giggled as the gang separated.
“Course, long as it ain’t a snog.” Tilly replied.
"Don't worry, I'll save that for later." Krystal chuckled before reaching into her bag and handing Jake a wrapped package.
“Urgh, gross!” Tilly pulled a face.
Jake took the present, “What’s this?” He asked as he began to unwrap the present.
"Just a little something for now." Krystal winked.
Jake grinned. He opened the present and gasped.
"You like it?"
“Krystal, I love it babe!”
"Thought you could use it when you go backpacking."
“You’re gonna come with me though, right?”
"For the summer leg certainly."
Jake smiled, “Good! I’m glad.”
"Can't let you explore the Far East without me."
Jake grinned, “Definitely not, babe!”
"Its going to be so weird without you here all summer." Emily remarked.
“I’ll be back before you know it, Em.”
"You better take loads of photos of all the things and places you see."
“I will, I promise.”
There was a knock on the door.
“I’ll get it.” Charlie moved from the sofa to grab the door.
"Morning Charlie. Is the birthday boy awake?" Kate asked as Charlie opened the door.
“Hi Kate.” Charlie kissed his mother in law's cheek as he stepped aside to invite her in. “He’s in the living room.”
Kate headed into the lounge and Charlie was about to close the door when he saw Peter's car pull up in front of the house.
“Hi son.” Charlie called as Peter got out of the car.
"Is doofus in?" Peter called as he and Holly headed towards the house.
“One day you’re going to stop calling your brother that.” Charlie rolled his eyes playfully, “To answer your question though, yes Jake’s in.”
"Nah, once a doofus, always a doofus!" Peter laughed, heading into the house.
“I heard that!” Jake called from the living room.
"You were meant to doofus!"
Jake rolled his eyes.
"Happy birthday Jake." Holly smiled as she handed over his present.
“Thanks.” Jake took the present, “You didn’t have to buy me a present, you know?”
"Its nothing major. Just some new clothes for your trip."
“Thanks.” Jake kissed Holly's cheek.
There was a definite theme in Jake's presents.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were all wanting to get rid of me.” Jake laughed.
"Darn it, you've figured out our fiendish plot!" Tilly teased.
Jake glanced over at his mum. Maybe going travelling at the minute wasn’t the best idea..?
Duffy spotted Jake's expression and decided to cut off any fretting. "So now everyone is here shall we have some cake?"
“Yeah lets!” Lottie replied.
Duffy nipped into the kitchen and brought the cake she'd made through, eighteen candles lit on top.
As his family sang happy birthday to him, Jake blew out the candles on his cake.
Duffy had only cut a couple of slices before the twins dove in.
Charlie laughed, some things never changed with the twins.
Duffy sighed as she could feel Charlie, Peter, Jake and Emily try to pretend they weren't watching her as she ate.
“This cake is delicious, mum!” Lottie said with her mouth full.
"Yeh, you make the best cakes mum!" Tilly agreed.
Charlie followed Duffy into the kitchen once she’d finished, “Are you okay?” He asked.
"I'm fine." She replied reflexively.
“Talk to me?”
"Can you believe he's eighteen?" She asked, not turning to face her husband.
“Only seems like yesterday that you told me you were pregnant with him.” He moved to stand in front of her.
"Took me forever to pluck up the courage to tell you."
He placed his hand against her cheek.
"And now he's a grown man about to set off on a big adventure."
“Can we go out for a few hours? Go for a walk? Or a coffee?”
"If you like. I think Jake is planning to go out with his friends later on."
“I want us to do something together. I feel it’s been a while that it’s just been me and you.”
"OK. I'll see if mum can watch the boys."
“We’ll only be an hour or two, max.”
"OK..." She replied, shooting him a suspicious look.
Kate agreed to watch the youngest two boys for a couple of hours so Charlie and Duffy could go out.
Upon leaving the house Duffy was curious to see where Charlie planned to take her.
They went for a walk, “I wanted to talk to you about how your treatment session went?”
"I told you already that it was fine." She sighed.
“You say fine too much.”
"And you fuss too much!"
He shrugged, “What did they say? Are you bulimic? Or are you a mixture of both?” They sat on a bench in an open field.
"According to the dietician I have a varient on the binge-purge anorexia subtype." She replied softly, fiddling with her hands in her lap.
He placed his hand over hers, interlocking his fingers through hers. “Ok. And how can we get through this?”
She shrugged. "I've managed three days without being sick. I've wanted to but I didn't let myself." She whispered.
“And I’m so proud of you, you know that don’t you?” He smiled and kissed her cheek, “Do you have distraction techniques?”
"Yeh."
“What are those?”
"Its difficult to explain. I could maybe show you next time I need to?"
He nodded, “I’d like that.” He ran his thumb over the back of her hand, “You and I are in this together and I want to be there as much as you’ll allow me to be.”
"I'd prefer it if you told the kids to stop watching me like a hawk whenever there's food nearby."
“The kids just worry about you but I’ll tell them to stop watching you.”
"I know, I know. Its just... At least Emily is somewhat subtle. The boys on the other hand..." She rolled her eyes.
“Boys can’t be subtle. It’s just in our nature.”
"So I've noticed." She snorted.
He kissed her nose.
"Is this why you insisted on dragging me out here? To interrogate me?"
“No. To ask you without little ears listening in on our conversation.”
"Little ears that jump to all the wrong conclusions." She sighed.
“Like Tilly? It was because Lottie mentioned you had a stomach ache again and have done for a few days.”
"So of course they put two and two together and made five." She sighed.
A Welcome Visitor. Part 3
Cowritten with @fairheads.
-x-
They'd managed to hide the change in the nature of their relationship from her sons and mother but now it was time for the big test - Paul was twelve weeks old and it was Duffy's first day back at work.
Charlie wanted Duffy’s return to work to be as smooth as possible. He had left her house early that morning, sneaking out before the boys were awake again, so they had arrived to work separately.
Unfortunately the boys hadn't gotten the memo about Charlie's wish for a smooth day and Duffy had ended up being over an hour late for her shift.
Charlie had wondered where she’d got to, but had been in resus for much of that hour, dealing with a victim of an RTC. He almost bumped into her as he returned to his office.
"Hi! I'm so sorry I was late! The boys were a nightmare..."
Charlie raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “Good to have you back Nurse Duffin. You’re needed in cubicles.”
"Oh, er, OK..." She replied confused. "And its Sister Duffin..!" She muttered as she headed towards cubicles.
Charlie rubbed his neck, this was going to be harder than he imagined. How could he pretend to everyone else that nothing was happening, when it felt everything had changed?
It was a few hours later, when they ended up working on a case together.
She jumped as his hand brushed against hers.
“You okay?” He whispered.
"Fine. Totally fine."
“Look, I’m sorry about earlier,” He passed her the equipment she needed, touching her hand for longer than necessary.
"Just coz we're sleeping together it doesn't mean you can demote me at the drop of a hat!" She grumbled, though her tone lacked the anger her words implied.
“I panicked, people were watching, you said you wanted to keep it between us, I got it wrong,” He tried to explain. He felt guilty and wanted to make it up to her.
"I just worry people would see it as something sordid." She sighed.
“If they knew, they wouldn’t think that...” He replied, without really thinking.
"My husband has been dead barely six months Charlie!" She fired back before storming out of the cubicle.
Charlie tipped his head back, closed his eyes and exhaled. The day wasn’t going as he planned at all. She seemed to be avoiding him for the rest of the day, purposefully leaving areas if he entered them. It was like a game of cat and mouse.
He finally cornered her outside the department. She'd hidden herself down a little dead end alleyway between two buildings and was talking anxiously on her mobile.
She heard his footsteps and looked up terrified. Charlie waved his hand, “It’s only me,” He announced.
She nodded in acknowledgement. "Mum, look, if you're that worried then bring him here."
Ending the call, she looked super stressed out. Charlie abandoned the conversation he had planned in his head and on noticing her unease, settled for “What’s up?”
"Paul won't take his bottles. Mum says he sounds funny and won't settle."
“Okay, does he have a temperature?” Charlie, ever practical, was trying to put his clinical hat on. “Do you need to go?”
"She didn't say. She was too busy telling me that I should have stayed home longer." Duffy replied, on the verge of tears.
“Hey, this is not your fault.” Charlie wrapped his arms around her. “If you feel you need to go, then you can,” He whispered, kissing the top of her head.
"No, she's bringing him here."
“Okay, we can get Patrick or Lara to take a look at him, or Max, if you’d like?” He added.
"Thanks. Hopefully he's just grouchy..." She didn't sound entirely convinced.
“Hey, look at me,” He raised her chin and she reluctantly looked into his eyes. “It’s going to be okay,” He reassured her, kissing her.
She stepped back from him slightly and gave herself a shake. She forced her shoulders back, her chin up. "I should go back inside." She declared, the nurse's facade firmly back in place.
“See you in there,” Charlie replied, watching her go. He was tired, so much for a good return to work, today had been quite tumultuous already!
Though he tried to keep his distance to try and maintain the show of being 'just friends' he couldn't help but check in with her after Paul was brought in and Lara went to check him over.
“Hey,” He whispered, closing the curtain behind him. Duffy was holding Paul, her mother had gone to get a drink.
"Hi."
“I had to come and see you. How’s he doing? What did Lara say?” Charlie asked.
"He's got a slight temperature but she's not too concerned. She's running some blood and urine tests as a precaution though."
Charlie reached down to the sleeping baby and brushed his cheek gently, “Poor little man.”
Even though he stayed asleep Paul snuggled against Charlie's touch.
“Do you want me to stay with him for a bit? You haven’t stopped today,” Charlie offered.
"I don't want to take you away from something important..."
“It’s not a problem - it’s nearly the end of my shift anyway,” He explained.
"Are you sure?"
“Here, I’ll take him, go get yourself a cuppa,” Charlie reached out to take Paul from her arms.
"I'll only be a few minutes..." She fussed as she handed Paul over.
Paul settled quickly into Charlie’s arms. Charlie rearranged the wires measuring his pulse and temperature. “No problem.” He smiled reassuringly at her, he noticed she looked exhausted.
He'd barely sat down with Paul when a young nurse who had only just started a few days previously appeared around the curtain needing his signature on some paperwork. "Aww, he's so cute! How old is he?" She cooed at Paul.
“He is isn’t he, not far off four months I think?” Charlie puzzled, trying to calculate it in his head, Paul’s fingers tightly curled around his own. “I’m just looking after him while Duffy has a break,” He tried to explain, using his right hand to sign off the documents she needed.
"He's the absolute spit of you!" She grinned as she gazed at the baby.
Charlie laughed awkwardly, “Oh no, Duffy’s husband, Andrew - you know he passed six months ago. Awful.” Charlie was surprised the nurse hadn’t known about what had happened to Andrew and laughed off the assumption that he was Paul’s father.
"Oh!" She blushed. "I didn't realise... I... Um... I just presumed... I saw you give her a hug in the staffroom..." She babbled.
“It’s no problem. Duffy and I have worked together for years, we’re just friends.” He assured her.
"Oh... Please don't tell her I said anything... I'm so embarrassed!"
“It’s fine honestly,” He replied.
Duffy reentered the cubicle. She looked puzzled at the blushing young nurse.
“I’m just going, thanks Charlie,” The nurse mumbled before making a sharp exit.
"What have I told you about frightening the junior nurses!" Duffy chuckled, shaking her head fondly.
Charlie lifted his hand, as if to say ‘what did I do?’ “I didn’t frighten you did I?” He asked.
"Nah, I'd just go slag you off to Susie instead!"
Charlie flushed red. “I dread to think!”
Before Duffy could reply Lara returned with the test results in her hands.
“So we’ve had the results back...” Lara started. Duffy inched closer to Charlie. "He's a little dehydrated but that's to be expected if he's been refusing feeds. His blood work was all fine so there's no infection present in his system. I have made a point of highlighting in his notes that he's A+ though as that's a bit unusual. But that's only a concern if he ever needs a transfusion in the future."
Charlie looked up at Duffy, she looked relieved but at the same time flustered.
"Thank you Lara. Am I OK to take him home now?"
“Sure, keep trying with the feeds, I’m sure he’ll pick up in a few days,” Lara finished scribbling the discharge note and handed it to her. “Take care... all of you,” She looked over at Charlie who was still holding Paul.
"Thank goodness for that." Duffy breathed after Lara left.
“Yeah, good news,” Charlie agreed. “Strange about the blood type - what are you?” He pondered.
"O negative." She mumbled, taking Paul back.
“Ahh, so Andrew must have been A, like me.” Charlie pondered aloud. “Right then, do you need a lift home? Has Kate gone?”
"Um... Yeh..." Duffy swallowed. "She went to fetch the boys from school."
Charlie watched Duffy intently, she seemed to be in a daze. “So you would like a lift?” He asked, confused.
"Oh... Yeh... Please." Duffy gathered her stuff hurriedly.
“I just need to pick up a few things from my office, did you want to come with me or meet me outside?” Charlie asked her.
"Um, I'll meet you out the front." She mumbled.
Charlie left her to gather her belongings and went to his office. What a day! Not the first day back he had hoped for Duffy. He grabbed his coat and car keys and went to meet her out the front.
The atmosphere was still awkward as they got into the car and he drove back to her house.
Barely speaking for the whole of the journey, Charlie pulled up at Duffy’s place.
Duffy was about to get out the car but stopped. She turned to Charlie. "Come on, out with it!" She sighed, her arms folded.
Charlie was taken aback, “What do you mean?” He asked her.
"You've been weird since I went to get a coffee earlier."
“I’m just sorry today didn’t go as we’d hoped, that’s all...” He tailed off.
"It was always going to be a big step. I couldn't help noticing that you kept me out of resus all shift..."
“That’s not true, we already had enough staff in there.”
"Hmm..."
“You know, you’d be my first choice in there, you’re the most competent nurse we have.”
"Most competent?" She echoed.
“Yeah, most qualified, most competent, the best and don’t you forget it!” He poked her tummy playfully.
"That's more like it."
Charlie was pleased he’d managed to make her smile. “Don’t worry, you’re still my number one,” He smiled, poking her again.
She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. Paul was still fast asleep in his car seat.
Charlie kissed her head. “It’s going to be okay.”
"I hope so. It'll be Christmas soon."
“I know... I should go, wouldn’t want your mum and the boys to be spying on us from the window or anything.” Charlie worried.
"I'm sorry for making things so difficult." She sighed.
“I understand, the boys are the most important thing right now.”
"Thank you for being so understanding."
“I’m not saying I wouldn’t want to come in and make it up to you... Right now. But I get it.”
"Mum's agreed to have all three boys the night of the Christmas party so that's something."
Charlie raised his eyebrows, “Oh yeah?” He added.
"Yeh, took some persuading but she agreed in the end."
“You in need of a night out out?” He laughed.
"Something like that." She smiled. Paul started to stir. "I best get him inside."
“I’m looking forward to Christmas now, all of a sudden.” He winked. “See you tomorrow, hope Paul is better by then.”
"Fingers crossed." She smiled before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll let you know." She added as she took Paul out the back of the car. "Thanks for the lift."
“My pleasure.” Charlie waited until they’d gone in before driving off.
Unforeseen circumstances 2
As the team battled around them, David held Duffy tight. After a few moments, he quietly encouraged her to come to the relatives room with him, explaining that it would let everyone focus on their job. Although, she was reluctant to leave Charlie, she couldn’t bear to watch them break his ribs during chest compressions or hear them shout the next, frantic treatment instruction. She knew too much and at the same time it was too much for her to bear. David wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guided her out of resus and along the corridor.
Upon walking into the relatives room, Duffy sat down, covering her face with her hands and inhaled deeply. David stood awkwardly in the corner of the room, looking out of the window. Breaking the silence, Duffy lifted her head and asked him,
“What happened?” She needed to understand how her best friend had ended up fighting for his life.
“Husband of a patient, tired of waiting,” David explained, sparing her excess detail and sticking to the point.
“So they stabbed him?” Duffy replied incredulously, her voice faltering, it was impossible for her to comprehend.
“Charlie was calm, tried to deescalate,” David wanted her to know, that it wasn’t anything Charlie had done.
Duffy nodded, she knew that more often than not, Charlie was the best on staff, at deescalation, he had had enough practise over the years! It was a well known fact that Charlie was empathetic and understanding even with the most difficult patients- he seemed to have this natural ability to calm those in emotional distress. Duffy herself, had experienced his magic on numerous occasions, when she had personally become overwhelmed or stressed.
“The guy panicked when he saw security, it happened in seconds,” David concluded.
Duffy couldn’t process what David was saying. It sounded like a freak accident, nothing Charlie could have done, but she couldn’t help but wish she had been there instead of him. Standing up, she started pacing the length of the room, back and forth. Whys and wherefores flooded her brain.
David could almost read her mind, interrupting her thoughts he tried to reassure her: “Duffy? Charlie loves you with all of his heart, surely you must know that?”
Duffy lifted her arms up and shrugged, letting them rest, “I’m not sure these days… I’ve made some mistakes.”
“He loves you,” David repeated categorically.
“You don’t see how he looks at you, or how he tries to find an excuse to speak to you constantly. He has made mistakes too but true love overcomes,” David elucidated.
“If I’m not too late…” Duffy whispered. David didn’t reply, instead he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, it was Elle. Duffy pulled away from David, eagerly looking at Elle for news. She motioned for Duffy to sit down, joining her on the sofa.
“Duffy. I’m not going to lie to you, Charlie is in a bad way,” Elle began, as Duffy tried to take in what she was saying.
“The stab wound severed a major artery but thankfully appears to have missed his major organs. We’ve managed to stabilise him but he’s lost a lot of blood, he’s had a number of blood transfusions,” she explained. Blood transfusions, stabilise him. Duffy’s heart was pounding, she covered her mouth with her hand and nodded to show Elle she understood.
“It was touch and go back there but he’s stable now,” Elle finished, taking Duffy’s hand.
“Thank you,” Duffy’s voice broke as she spoke.
“He’s got a long way to go yet, he’s been taken into surgery and he’ll be in hospital for some time.”
Duffy nodded, struggling to control her tears. She gave Elle the biggest hug. How do you thank someone for saving your husband’s life?
x X x
Even though she knew Charlie could be hours in surgery, Duffy decided that she would get her belongings from the staff room and head upstairs to wait. Grabbing her coat and bag, she shut her locker. Turning, her phone slipped out of her hand onto the floor, she sighed, bending down to pick it up- luckily her screen at survived the tumble! She was understandably anxious and all fingers and thumbs.
As she was leaving, she caught sight of Charlie’s locker. She was torn, they weren’t in the best place and perhaps it was not her right to go into his locker, but he was still her husband and she thought he may want his stuff. Deciding upon the second option, she reached for the lock and tried her date of birth, as the code, her heart beat as she door opened.
Inside the locker, she found his soft, sky- blue jumper, she had bought it for him, knowing how much he suited blue. Moving it towards her nose, she inhaled his scent deeply and closed her eyes. Oh Charlie, she thought, how did we get here? His phone was on the shelf above, when she held it, the screen flashed up with a photograph of them together. Duffy’s heart skipped. There were a few other items in there, a couple of photos of them together over the years, a pen and lanyard. She smiled and simultaneously rolled her eyes when she saw his jeans, a t shirt, some spare boxers and socks screwed up and shoved into the bottom of the locker. Reaching down, she picked them up and smoothed them out, folding them neatly. She locked his locker and put all of his things into her bag.
Taking the lift upstairs, she felt sick, she wasn’t sure how he would be or whether he’d even want to see her after surgery, but she loved him and she didn’t know what else to do.
x X x
After three hours, a theatre nurse came to where Duffy was sitting outside the surgical ward, to tell her that Charlie was out of theatre and in recovery. Duffy breathed a small sigh of relief. Gathering her things, she walked to the recovery room, it was now or never! As she pushed open the door, Duffy could hear a very weak Charlie repeating her name tearfully.
“Duffy? Duffy?” Duffy’s heart exploded.
“I’m here,” she whispered as she walked inside. His face lit up.
“You came,” he choked, smiling.
He tried to reach out for her with his hand, struggling to manoeuvre around the many wires and wincing as the pain of his wound seared through his body.
“Try not to move,” the theatre nurse instructed him, putting his oxygen mask back on as she finished her duties. Duffy rushed over to the bed, to ensure he wouldn’t move anymore. Cupping his face with her hands, around the mask.
“Of course I did! What am I going to do with you Charlie Boy? You gave us quite a scare,” she said tenderly.
“Home,” he mumbled, drifting in and out of consciousness.
“You’re going to be here for a few days yet love, but you’ll get there,” Duffy responded.
“Come… home,” he repeated, emphasising the come. His eyes pleading with her. She nodded, understanding what he meant, there is nowhere she would rather be. Today had really hit her hard. Tears filled her eyes. His too, he had been so scared and all he wanted was her. It didn’t matter about Bill or the dementia or anything else. He missed her, he loved her, he needed her.
They didn’t speak but their fingers interlocked and their eyes met. So much could be said without words.
Suddenly, he grimaced, squeezing his eyes shut. Pain coursed through his body.
“I’ll go speak to the nurses, get them to up your meds,” she motioned to go but he held her hand tight.
“Stay!” He urged, holding her hand tight. He’d lost her before, he couldn’t let her go now.
“Try to get some rest,” she encouraged, stroking his furrowed brow with her hand gently.
“I’ll be right here,” she reassured him, kissing his cheek.
Unforeseen circumstance 1
“I can assure you that we will treat your wife as soon as we can,” Charlie explained to the clearly agitated husband, of a patient with a knife wound.
“You need to help her. You’re all just standing around, no one is doing anything to help her. She’s hurt. This is a hospital. Help her.” The patient’s husband shouted aggressively. The man motioned to his wife, who was now bleeding profusely from her left arm. She had placed a tea towel on the wound and was applying pressure as advised. Although a serious injury, the main artery had not been severed, so triage had decided to prioritise a more serious RTC ahead of her, in resus. Charlie had been explaining to the woman what was happening and how she would be called through next, when her husband had become angry.
“Dave, it’s fine. They’re busy. Please sit down.” His wife was embarrassed at his behaviour and tried to persuade him to sit back down. His anger was not helping the situation and it was the reason why she was in here in the first place.
“It is not fine! You’re hurt and no one is doing anything. But that’s going to change. They are going to help you right now, aren’t you nursey.” The man removed a knife from his coat and pointed it at Charlie, who put his hands up in defence.
“Getting angry, won’t help your wife, Sir. Please calm down or I will have to call security.” Charlie replied.
“Calm down? Calm down? Who do you think you are?” The man shouted, waving the knife around.
“Sir, we will be able to help your wife, when you put the knife down.” Charlie was calm, despite feeling like the situation was escalating fast. David had been watching the whole thing unfold and had motioned for Noel to call security.
Moments later, security arrived but their attendance further annoyed the man. Before he had time to react, he had plunged the knife into Charlie’s stomach. Charlie fell to the floor, his eyes wide with shock and fear. Security wrestled the knife from the attacker and quickly detained him. David rushed to Charlie’s side.
“Can I get some help please?” David shouted and all free staff came running with a stretcher and packing equipment. They were shocked to see it was one of their own.
“Duffy,” Charlie whispered, she was the only person he needed right now.
“I’ll get her,” David confirmed, as Connie began rushing Charlie into resus, the blood pouring from his wound. David ran to find Duffy in cubicles.
“Duffy, you had better come quickly, it’s Charlie.”
“What’s happened? Is he okay?” Duffy questioned, noticing David’s concern, her heart suddenly beating faster. Despite being estranged, she cared deeply for Charlie and the thought of anything happening to him, made her feel sick.
“He’s been attacked… he’s in resus. He’s not in a good way…” David began to explain. Duffy didn’t need to hear any more, she ran straight there. Entering the room, swamped with frenetic activity, she could see a lot of blood. Connie, Robyn, Elle and the team were busy trying to stem the bleeding from Charlie’s stab wound.
“Charlie?” Duffy asked, her voice trembling. He was deathly pale and struggling to remain conscious but upon hearing her voice, his eyes searched desperately for hers in the mass of people. Duffy moved forward.
“I’m right here,” she whispered as she stepped in to stand next to him, in between all of the wires and medical equipment. Despite the agony of seeing him in this state, she tried to remain calm.
“Oh, you silly old fool, there must have been easier ways to get me to come and hold your hand,” she teased, kissing his forehead and holding his hand. He smiled weakly at her, feeling worse by the second but so grateful that she had come.
“I…love… you,” he tried to say, every word punctuated by a raspy gasp.
“I know. I love you too,” she reassured him, tears springing to her eyes.
“I… I’m s…” Charlie was really struggling to get his words out. Connie was trying to cross match some more blood and the machines were beeping incessantly. It wasn’t looking good.
“Try not to speak, we can talk later,” Duffy instructed, fixing his oxygen mask and caressing his face gently. His eyes were searching, he looked terrified. She was terrified too that she would lose him. The machines alarmed as Charlie suddenly lost consciousness.
“Noo, please… Charlie,” tears fell from her eyes. She loved him, but she wasn’t sure he knew that after the last few weeks. If only she had been able to let him in. David had to pull her aside, while Connie and the team attempted to resuscitate him. Burying her face in David’s shoulder, unable to watch, she could barely stand.
What if? What if? It had taken a completely unforeseen circumstance for her to see everything more clearly. As much as she had tried to focus on herself recently and be strong about her diagnosis, she couldn’t deny her feelings for Charlie. She had wanted to let him in but she just didn’t know how; she would have to allow herself to be vulnerable to let him in and she felt that she needed to remain strong. However, now she couldn’t bear to think about what life might be like without him. It dawned on her that that must have been how he had been feeling these past few weeks- wondering what life would be like without her. Duffy broke down into sobs as David held her. It was all so cruel.
Whiteout.
Inspired by Charlie and Duffy's conversation in Series 34, Episode 22. What happened during that big storm in 89?
-x-
Duffy sighed as she pulled back the curtain and peered outside. The weatherman's predictions had finally come true - Holby was covered in a thick blanket of snow. Turning away from the window she briefly contemplated returning to the warmth of her bed but then she recalled Charlie's words from the previous day - anyone who could make it to work should try their best to as it was bound to be busier than usual. Her gaze was caught by her uniform hanging on the door of her wardrobe. She still couldn't quite believe that navy sister's uniform was hers. Her mind was made up, she couldn't let Charlie down.
As she got dressed she started to regret not following Charlie's lead and sleeping overnight at the hospital. She'd considered it but had ultimately decided to go home as she feared it would be too awkward - the office she and Charlie shared wasn't that big afterall...
After fixing her hair she headed downstairs to make herself a coffee and some toast. She then pulled on her fur-lined boots and coat, grabbed her handbag and braced herself to face the artic conditions.
Opening the door she grimaced as a freezing blast of air hit her full force. She pulled up the collar of her coat around her neck and stepped out into the snow, her boots sinking several inches and her breath forming clouds in the air around her. She slowly trudged the few feet to the road where her battered old car was parked. The snow was so thick it had half buried the wheels and the windscreen was covered in a thick layer of ice. She sighed, she wasn't even going to bother trying to dig it out as a quick glance up the road told her that even if she did manage to she wasn't going to get very far as the roads were clearly treacherous.
Duffy placed her car keys back in her handbag and began to make her way steadily, slowly, towards the main road. She'd almost made it to the corner when the snow began to fall again.
Blinking through the snow she spotted an older man sat at the bus stop opposite. Concern flooded through her as she stepped into the road to check that he was OK. So much so that she didn't spot the patch of black ice until it was too late and she went crashing to the floor, striking her backside on the edge of the kerb.
Staggering back to her feet she made a mental note to be more careful as she made her way across the road. By the time she got to the bus stop the gentleman had given up waiting for the bus that was clearly not coming and had wandered off. She lingered for a few minutes under the shelter waiting for the snow to ease off a bit before she continued on her trek to the hospital.
There were very few others outside braving the elements but Duffy acknowledged those who had with a smile as she passed. Turning off the main road she decided to risk a short cut under the flyover in an attempt to shave some time off her journey that had already taken far longer than it should have done due to her having to keep changing direction to avoid snow drifts that would have swallowed her whole!
As she passed under the flyover she heard the wails of an ambulance siren as it screamed above her head. For a brief moment she contemplated yelling to see if she could get a lift. Shaking her head she laughed at the daftness of her idea.
Onwards she trudged as the snow continued to fall, the visibility terrible. Despite her coat and boots she was chilled to the bone when she finally saw the familar hospital building looming into view in the distance. It still took her a further half an hour to navigate the treacherous conditions of the large carpark where she slipped on the ice a further two times.
As such she was quite the bedraggled mess when she finally entered the department. She cast her eyes over the packed waiting room contemplating how it was typical that the injured and sick could still manage to make it in despite the conditions when the staff had struggled to even get out of their own driveways!
She entered the staffroom to find Megan making a cup of tea.
"I saw you in the carpark and thought you'd appreciate a cuppa." The older nurse smiled as she held a mug out towards her young friend.
Duffy looked aghast at her. "How did you beat me into work? You live practically the same distance away!" She remarked as she removed her coat and boots.
"Snow shoes!" Megan declared, nodding her head in the direction of the corner of the room.
Duffy laughed as she saw that there was indeed a pair of snow shoes lent against the wall. Taking her shoes out of her locker she sank into a chair and sipped her tea, letting out a sigh at the warmth that spread through her.
Charlie pushed open the staffroom door, a smile instantly lighting up his face. "Am I pleased to see you!" He told Duffy. "I tried calling your house but the phone just rang. We were considering a search party." He teased.
Duffy stuck out her tongue at him. "Hey! It only took me..." She looked at the watch hanging from her uniform. "...nearly four hours to get here." She grimaced, giggling. "I might just cut my losses and stay here tonight." She drained the remains of her drink and pushed herself to her feet. "Right, let's crack on shall we..?" She smiled as she strode out the door to begin work.
What We Want. Part 3
Duffy took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, nerves suddenly overtaking her as she stepped into the room. She looked down as she felt her son reassuringly squeeze her hand that rested on his arm. She knew she had no reason to be nervous, she was marrying her one true love, the man she'd be destined to be with ever since they'd collided in the hospital carpark all those years ago, causing her to spill her drink down the front of his shirt. It hadn't been the ideal introduction to her new boss on her first day in the department but in a funny way it summed them up perfectly, setting the tone for the never quite conventional relationship they'd shared ever since.
Looking up once more she nodded to Peter that she was ready and they slowly made their way to the front of the room where Charlie stood waiting for her. Once there Peter slid his arm free and gently placed his mother's hands into Charlie's. He then gave her shoulders a final reassuring squeeze before stepping back.
As he held her hands in his Charlie took a moment to gaze at his bride. She looked stunning. Her dress was fairly simple - white satin with a colourful beaded pattern that ran along the neckline and hem which skimmed just above her knees. The fabric of the dress caressed her curves, something Charlie looked forward to doing himself later, and the neckline offered the merest tantalising glimpse of her cleavage, just enough to hint at the naughtiness that lay beneath whilst still maintaining an air of classiness. The perfect combination.
"You're beautiful." He whispered, awestruck.
Charlie smiled as Duffy's eyes flickered down to their joined hands and a blush crept up her cheeks in response to his words. It didn't matter how much he told her, she'd never been able to accept a compliment. It was one of her most frustrating, yet endearing, characteristics.
Josh smiled broadly as he watched his two best friends. He had started to think he would never see this day! Though decades as a paramedic had somewhat hardened his emotions out of necessity he couldn't help but choke up as he listened to them pledge their love and commitment to each other. It was a relief to see them finally admit out loud what everyone else had known for years!
"You may now kiss the bride." The registrar announced as she concluded the service.
After several moments Josh couldn't help but chuckle. "Put her down mate!" He teased, spotting Peter staring awkwardly at his shoes as neither of them showed any sign of coming up for air in the near future.
"Jealousy isn't a good look Josh!" Charlie jibed back as he broke the kiss and stroked his wife's cheek, his gaze never once leaving hers. "What do you fancy doing now Mrs Fairhead?" His face nearly split in half grinning at his words.
"Well, we did promise those two lunch." She smiled, indicating Peter and Josh.
A short while later they were sat in a local pub with their drinks whilst they waited for their food to arrive.
"To the bride and groom." Josh toasted, raising his glass. "I never thought I'd see the day!" He joked as the quartet clinked glasses.
"It was worth the wait though." Charlie smiled, kissing Duffy's cheek.
The conversation lulled slightly as their food arrived and they tucked in.
"My brothers are gunna kill me when they find out." Peter chuckled a while later.
"It's OK, they already know." Duffy replied offhandly.
"What?! You told them before me?" Peter gasped.
"Well they already knew we were planning to get married, I just mentioned that we'd decided to bring the date forward a little." She explained. "They're flying over next week so we can all celebrate together."
"I can't believe you told them first!" Peter grumbled.
"Only because they wouldn't be able to be here for the ceremony." Duffy pointed out.
"If it helps Louis doesn't know yet." Charlie added.
"He doesn't?" Duffy broke in. "You said you were going to call him after you spoke to Josh."
"He didn't pick up." Charlie sighed.
"He was probably just busy, I'm sure he'll be thrilled when he finds out." Josh replied hastily, saddened by the look in his friend's eyes.
"Hmm." Charlie frowned.
There was an awkward silence for a few moments until Peter held out his hand towards Charlie. "I feel like I should, I don't know, formally welcome you to the family or something..." He shrugged.
Duffy and Josh chuckled as they watched the two men shake hands, the way he acted sometimes you'd think Peter was Duffy's father rather than her eldest son - he was certainly very protective of her!
After taking another couple of sips of his pint Peter glanced back over at his mum and new stepfather. "So, um, what should I call you now? Coz calling you Uncle Charlie seems a bit weird now you're married to my mum..."
"Um, you could just call me Charlie." Charlie shrugged, chuckling.
Duffy smiled, glad that Peter seemed to be OK with the change in her relationship with Charlie. He'd been the one out of her three sons that she'd been most concerned about how he'd react. He wasn't very trusting when it came to the men in her life but hopefully the fact that Peter had known Charlie since he was a baby helped.
The rest of the meal passed with comfortable, light conversation. The time came to pay the bill and Josh waved away Charlie's move to get out his wallet.
"This meal is on me. Seeing as how you didn't give me enough notice to get you an actual wedding present this'll have to do!" Josh teased.
"Thanks Josh, that's very kind of you." Duffy smiled.
Once the meal was paid for the group headed back out into the chilly February afternoon where they bid their goodbyes to each other.
As they were walking back to the car Charlie wrapped his arms around his wife. "Let's head home, I have a threshold to carry you over Mrs Fairhead!" He grinned.
"Lead the way!" She giggled, shaking her head indulgently.
Wise words from an old friend.
[[Chuffy Fic, set in Series 33.]]
-x-
Duffy had been busying herself looking through a few old boxes Charlie had happily gotten down from the loft for her. They were mainly full of old photo albums of them both, to reminisce, of better days. She sighed, he meant well, but, seeing their lives in black and white only showed her how much time they had wasted. Too many years of regret. Not being brave enough to tell each other how they truly felt. But, she sighed. Seeing their faces captured, one Christmas, as they'd dressed up as Mr and Mrs Claus. It made her smile, they were happy, the best of friends. That was something that had never changed between them. Even if it took them a lot longer to finally be a lot more than that. She continued to look through the albums, and boxes. Smiling to herself, as memories filled her mind, as she remembered all those old faces and happier times once again.
-o-
Charlie dropped the keys into the bowl in the hallway, and softly called her name.
“Duffy, Duffy, where are you?”
“In here.” She replied.
She sat on the sofa, a box at her feet, a pile of photo albums at her side, and all around the floor.
“Well, you have been busy. Find anything incriminating?” He giggled, as he sat down on the edge of the sofa arm, next to her.
She looked up from the album in her lap, and proudly showed him, ‘the most incriminating of the lot’...
“I'll kill Josh! That! Is not something I’d expect to see!” She exclaimed.
“Oh, um, yes, ha ha." Charlie looked down at the photo and began to chuckle.
"I don't remember being that drunk Mr Fairhead!” Duffy exclaimed, as she pointed at the position on the photo.
“Oh, well, from that angle, um, ha, yeah. It does look a bit.” Charlie giggled once again.
“That, was ‘the New Year's Eve' party at Penny's wasn't it? And that, was NOT how I remember ‘the balloon game' Charlie!” Duffy shook her head at him.
She frowned at him, and shook her head, at the image of her being bent over, and Charlie behind her, trying to pop the balloon on her bum!
Charlie just giggled at her more.
“There better not be any more like that in here Charlie!” Duffy scowled at him.
“Well, I um, maybe I’d better take a look instead yeah?” Charlie coughed to himself, and blushed, clearly he knew there well may be more photos exactly like that.
“Oh, no you don't. Wait a minute...there's more isn't there?”
Duffy scowled more at him.
“I don't know what you’re talking about?” Charlie feigned ignorance.
“You're a terrible liar Charlie Fairhead!” Duffy replied, shaking her head at him.
She turned the page, and saw another one of her, shall we say, poses?
“Charlie!” She exclaimed, as she looked down at more photos of that night.
“What?” Charlie replied, as he looked at the photos.
“Oh, um, yeah, that one.” Charlie added, as he began to blush.
It was from another party game, this time it showed more of her than she had liked, and Charlie's eyebrows raised at the image of her, well, them.
She had remembered the “pint" challenge, she also remembered that after the third attempt she was getting better. The fourth however, not so much. As she covered up the image with her hand. The pint had spilled all down her front, and her blouse showed her bra, and a lot more than that, as she was giggling and trying to dry herself off, and failing. All she could see was, well, Charlie's face staring at her, as she tried to dry her breasts in front of him. Everyone giggling around her.
“Right, that's it. Where's my phone, I'll kill Josh!” Duffy said, as she quickly slammed the photo album shut.
Charlie just burst out laughing.
“Hey, you were getting to the best bit.”
“The best bit?! The best bit?! I'll kill him, and you! Why on earth did he give you these! I'll kill him!”
“For safe keeping, don't want those failing into the wrong hands do we?!” Charlie chuckled at her.
“Don't you dare Charlie Fairhead! He gave you these on purpose didn't he?!” Duffy glared at him.
She got up from the sofa, and put the box down on the floor.
“Well, he knew um, well, ha.” Charlie stuttered, blushing at her.
“Oh wait until I see him!” Duffy said, as she folded her arms at him, visibly annoyed.
“Oh, come on. It's just Josh.” Charlie said, as he got up from the sofa and put his hands on her arms, trying to cheer her up.
“Made you giggle though didn't it? We had some fun back in the day didn't we?” He said, as he smirked at her.
“Hmmm, I suppose.”
“Well, can’t blame a man for wanting to protect your dignity then can you?” He added, as he gave her his best puppy dog eyes.
She sighed, and looked at him, she unfolded her arms and wacked him on the arm.
“That Charlie Fairhead, is for keeping those photos all those years, and not once showing me them!” Duffy pouted at him, and refolded her arms.
“Who could blame me for keeping them to myself. They were the best years of my life, coz I spent them with you.” He said, as he put his hand underneath her chin, and looked into her eyes.
“Flatterer.” She retorted, a small smirk on her lips.
Charlie just smirked back at her, and winked.
“Oh, you are such a...” She replied, and hit him once again.
“Ow! That hurt!” He rubbed at his arm.
“Good! Now, help me move all this lot, I've got dinner to make soon.” She said, as she tried to move away from him.
He bent down and lifted a box from the floor, as he did so, the bottom fell away and a pile of photos spilled out onto the floor.
“Ooops.” Charlie grimaced, and looked up at her.
“Charlie”, she groaned at him, and shook her head in annoyance.
He then placed the box onto the nearby chair, and bent down to help her.
She began to pick up the photos, and put them into a different box, as she did so, she found an old dusty envelope.
“Oh, what's this? It’s not opened, it’s full of dust so God knows how long it’s been sat in there.” Duffy said, as she handed Charlie the envelope.
“Is that? I recognise the handwriting. That’s from Megan isn't it? I never realised you got one too.” Duffy adds, as she looks up at Charlie. Biting her lip, knowing all too well that the mention of their old friend would cause upset in him.
Charlie sighed, as he looked down at the dusty old letter, he gulped at the mention of Megan's name.
“Yeah, yeah it is from Megan.” He answered her.
“You’re telling me you’ve kept a piece of Megan in that box for nine years? And never once wanted to read her letter? I’m surprised she never haunted you.”
Charlie just stared at the letter, rose from his position on the floor, and became quite subdued.
Duffy saw his reaction, and tried to soften the blow, she knew what he had done to help Megan end her life. She also knew he carried that burden with him every day since.
“I’m sure I’ve still got my letter from Megan somewhere. Do you want me to go and find it before we open yours together? Or, would you rather open it alone?” She added, as she looked up at him, rose from the floor and stood at his side.
“No, no, it's um...” He sighed, as he fingered the writing on the front of the envelope.
“I'm here darling, I'm here, ok.” She said, as she gently rubbed the back of his shoulder in comfort.
“I know, it's just...” He began to say, as he turned to look at her, tears glistening in his eyes.
“It's just Megan Charlie, her words, nothing more than that. An old friend. Our old friend. Ok?” She explained, trying to soothe his emotions.
“Yeah, yeah you're right.” He replied, and sniffed back his unshed tears.
He opened the letter, and began to read:
Charlie,
If you're reading this now, please don't feel any guilt. You did what I asked of you, and that is more than enough. Please don't dwell on it, but I know you will. It was time Charlie, I'd suffered enough. So, please don't regret that. I did it my way, and that's how it should be. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m at peace now. So please be at peace for me too.
Now, listen up Charlie! Here are some home truths. I know you Charlie Fairhead, for more years than I'd like. But, you have and always will be that annoying little brother I could have lived without. But, I didn’t, and couldn't. So, I don't know if that is a blessing or not. Either way, Charlie boy. Thank you for always being there for me, whether I needed it or not. You have been such a dear friend to me, and I treasure the ups and downs we have had. So remember me fondly old friend, we had some good times together you and me. Don't forget them, or me. Coz mark my words, if I have to come back and sort you out for being a fool, I will. And you know I will! Be good Charlie, be good.
Now, before I go, this old woman still has a few things she needs to get off her chest at you, so here goes:
Don't be like me, and live with regrets Charlie. Do something about it! You deserve happiness. And I feel in someway responsible for not letting you have that. That one person, that particular someone who got away. That may well be part my fault for warning you off her in the first place. But, I'll admit I thought it was for the best at the time. You know who I'm talking about Charlie. That silly young girl you couldn't take your eyes off, nor bare to let anyone hurt her either. Duffy. Go and find her. Tell her how you feel, how you've always felt. She may surprise you. Do it for this old woman. Go to Duffy Charlie, go to her. For me. She is the only one who I know you can be happy with. Don't wait any longer Charlie, life is too short. Be happy, because I know she has always felt the same way about you too!
With all my love,
This silly old fool.
Megan
X
“She, she, she knew?! All this time, she knew!” Charlie exclaimed, as tears ran down his cheeks.
“Um, she what?” Duffy asked him, confused by his reaction.
“About us! She knew all along, that bloody woman! I’ll, I’ll...” Charlie exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief, he handed Duffy the letter.
“What do you mean she knew?” Duffy asked, and began to read.
She saw Charlie was pacing, and had rubbed the back of his neck on more than one occasion.
As Duffy finished reading the letter, she shook her head in disbelief at him, and began to giggle.
Charlie turned and frowned at her.
“What's so funny?” He asked her confused.
“Give me 5 minutes, I'll be right back.” Duffy explained, as she handed him the letter, as she disappeared upstairs.
“Duffy, um.” Charlie stood confused, and simply reread the letter in his hands, shaking his head in disbelief.
-o-
Duffy returned eventually, and handed him the letter she was carrying.
“I knew I had it somewhere, read it. Go on, read it.” She said, with a grin on her face.
“Is this?” Charlie frowned, but recognised the writing on the envelope.
“My letter from Megan.” Duffy shook her head at him and smirked.
Charlie opened it, and began to read.
Duffy,
If you're reading this, then you'll have already heard. I've passed on, but, in my own way. I had to go, I couldn't take it anymore. But, please, what ever you heard, don't think bad of me. It was the only way. The only way. Don't, if you find out, hate anyone for this, it was my choice, and mine alone. He did what I asked of him, and that is that. God is my judge now, so no one should be blamed but me.
Now, I know it has been too long, far too long for me to make any judgement on your life now. I hope the boys are well, they'll be men now. Where have those years gone? You were once a young girl to me, not a mother of grown men. But, time passes. Life goes on. But, even though we haven't seen each other in years, I do hope our telephone conversations have been comforting, like they have been to me. You were always like a daughter to me Duffy, and I will always think of you as such. Whether you are a grown woman now or not. You may be living it up in New Zealand, but, this old woman still hopes you are well, and happy. Please enjoy your life, by God you deserve it my pet. But, for goodness sake, if you need a good telling off for anything, don't you for once think that I won't come down there myself and do it! Coz you know I will! But, most of all my dear girl, be happy, be happy. That's what life is all about. Live life to the full, for me.
Now, there is something I want to tell you, whether it is what you want to hear or not, here goes:
If you are happy, good. If Ryan makes you happy, good. If the boys are happy, good. But, don't live with regrets my dear girl, not like I have done. And I do know there is one regret you have. And that regret, I fear is part my fault too. It is a someone, rather than a something. I shouldn't have got involved, but, I did think it was for the best at the time. So please forgive me. I know how you felt about him, how you have always felt about him. And I’m sorry for doubting it, I truly am. So, if that regret is still something you need to act upon, then please do. I know that he is the only one that will make you truly happy. So go to him Duffy, go to Charlie. When you know there is nothing else in this world stopping you, nothing else that you want or need. Because, dear girl. He needs you too. Life is too short. Be happy. Live well. And don’t regret a damn thing!
With all my love.
Megan
X
“You mean she told you...she told you to come back, to me?” Charlie exclaimed in shock, as he turned to look at her.
Duffy nodded.
“You, she, um...You never told me.” He added.
“I did Charlie, I did.” She answered him, as she grasped his arm, and gently rubbed it with her thumb.
“I needed you Charlie, I used to look at our photo when I was alone, and upset. You are the only one I wanted, the only one I needed. I regretted leaving you Charlie. And she knew that. She always knew that. I left when I knew I could, when the boys didn't need me. When I could be selfish, and be with you.” Duffy replied, as she rubbed his arm with her thumb more.
“I didn't know, I never, I...if I'd just read the letter...if I just...” He explained, stuttering, and getting emotional, as tears filled his eyes.
“Don't Charlie, don't. No regrets, none ok. We're together now.” She said, as she reached up and gently caressed his cheek.
“But, all those years, all of them, we could have been together, we could have had more time...” He said, as a tear escaped down his cheek.
“We’re together now darling, that's all that matters.” She said, as she wiped away his tear, and gently kissed his lips.
He sighed as he put his arms around her waist, and deepened their kiss. After a few moments, he released her lips, and gently rested his forehead on hers.
“I'm sorry, I’m so sorry.” He said, as he tightened his grip on her waist.
“Shhhh, shhh.” She soothed him, rubbing his back.
“I love you Charlie, that's all that matters.” She said, as she hugged him to her.
“I love you too.” He replied, as he buried his head into her shoulder and gently sobbed, his emotions getting the better of him.
They stood in their embrace, emotions overwhelming them. In each other's arms, where they should be. No matter how long it took them, the wise words of an old friend brought them together, at last.
-x-
Marks Out Of Ten.
Set during early series 31, just after Duffy returns from New Zealand. A night at the pub with the girls.
-x-
It had seemed like a good idea at the start of the night. A way to get to know some of the other staff away from the hospital, make friends. It wasn't like she had many of those in Holby anymore. She'd only stayed in touch with a handful of people whilst she'd been in New Zealand.
She took a sip of the glass of wine Elle had just handed her. Her fourth of the evening. She was gunna regret this tomorrow! She let out a giggle as she imagined the look on Charlie's face when she dragged her hungover self into work in the morning.
Robyn looked up as she heard Duffy giggle. She was glad that the older woman had agreed to join them this evening. She was curious to get to know her. Robyn had always viewed Charlie as something of a father figure and it was clear that he adored Duffy and that they had a long history together which fascinated Robyn.
"I've got an idea for a game!" Elle announced.
Louise tried to feign interest, her attention taken by a bloke on the other side of the bar.
"What kind of game?" Robyn asked.
"Marks out of ten - the men of the ED." Elle announced with a grin. "Let's start with an easy one - Cal!"
"Ooh, a seven!" Robyn replied.
Louise looked at her aghast. "He's at least an eight or nine." She countered.
"I think an eight, he'd score higher if he was less full of himself. What do you think Duffy?" Elle commented.
Duffy blushed. "I'm old enough to be his mum!" She mumbled.
"Oh come on Duffy!" Elle encouraged.
"Um... I guess a seven..." She shrugged, taking another large mouthful of her wine. She got the feeling she was going to need it!
They went through a few more of the men and ordered another round of drinks. Elle's face then suddenly broke into a huge grin. "I know who next... Charlie! And I think Duffy should open the scoring on this one!" She giggled.
Duffy looked up from her drink. "Why me?" She hiccuped.
"Do you really expect us to believe that you two have never..?" Elle waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Elle!" Robyn remarked, sounding slightly horrified. She didn't want to imagine Charlie like that!
"Oh come on, spill! What's he like Duffy? Are the rumours true?" Elle pressed.
Duffy almost choked on her wine. "What rumours?" She spluttered.
"About him being rather, shall we say, well endowed..." Elle explained with a smirk.
Duffy blushed a deep shade of scarlet and took another large gulp of her wine.
Sensing gossip Louise's full attention was now focused on the older woman.
"I... Er... Um..." Duffy stuttered, caught like a deer in the headlights as the eyes of the other three women bore into her.
"I'd give him a five. Too old for me but he seems like he'd be a proper gentleman." Louise shrugged.
"No he's at least a six surely? He's got that cheeky charm thing going for him." Elle added. "Duffy..?" She prodded.
"Oh what the hell!" Duffy mumbled as she downed the rest of her wine and stood up to get another. She lent down towards the others. "Nine and a half." She whispered with a giggle before heading to the bar.
When she returned a couple of minutes later her attention was taken by her phone causing her to almost collide with a couple of chairs as she wound her way back across the pub.
"You can't just leave it at that Duffy! We're going to need more details!" Elle insisted.
"A lady never divulges!" Duffy snorted as her phone pinged once more. She grinned, a blush colouring her cheeks as she read the message. "Home time for me!" She declared before downing the almost full glass of wine in her hand. She didn't want to waste it afterall! "Goodnight ladies!" She giggled.
"I hope you're less of a tease with Charlie!" Elle countered with a loud laugh.
"Now that really would be telling..!" Duffy giggled before leaving the pub.
Hiding. Part 11b
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” Baz mumbled as she kissed the top of Louis head.
"Maybe because once upon a time we used to be friends and you helped me when I was struggling."
She smiled sadly, “Yeah that’s true.”
"I used to be so in awe of you." Duffy admitted.
She frowned, “Me? Why?”
"You were smart, had nice clothes and a fancy flat, everyone respected you and you were slim and elegant." Duffy summed up.
“And despite all that, I wasn’t the one.” She replied.
"You were for a while. He was devastated when you left."
“I didn’t have his heart. Not really.”
"You did back then. Trust me on that."
She smiled sadly as she met Duffy’s gaze for a moment.
Duffy couldn't work out quite what the glimmer that lurked in Baz's eyes was.
Baz was just hurt. It was understandable under the current circumstances. As much as Baz pretended she didn’t have a heart - inside she still had feelings.
Despite the hurt and confusion Duffy couldn't let go of the reason she'd come to see Baz in the first place. She took a steadying breath. "Will you please let Charlie see Louis?"
Baz was silent for a while. Clearing her throat, she nodded: “How about this weekend?”
"We'd like that very much. We were planning to take the boys to the fair, would that be OK?"
Baz nodded, “Yes.”
"Is there anything special he needs? I'm going shopping on my way home from here." She wanted Baz to know that her son would be well looked after whilst in their care, that she'd meant what she'd said about him being just as important.
“I know he’ll be well looked after. I was always amazed at how maternal you were.” Baz said quietly, “No nothing special.”
Duffy blushed, surprised by Baz's compliment. She looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. "Well I best leave you to it now. I'm guessing Louis will want his lunch soon." She slowly eased herself up from the stool, her hand pressed against her lower back.
“Are you okay?” Baz asked.
"I'll be fine."
“Are you sure?”
"My own fault for picking up that not so little fella! I get in enough trouble at work as it is."
Baz laughed gently, “I suppose it won’t be long until you go on maternity leave?”
"That's proving a point of disagreement." Duffy admitted with a smile.
“Let me guess. You want to keep working, Charlie insists you stay at home?” She asked.
"Yes. He worries too much!"
“How is your pregnancy going? All well?” Louis had fallen asleep in his mum’s arms.
"Very different to when I was having the boys but so far so good. I'll be pleased when it's over though, I haven't seen them properly for weeks but I'm sure my ankles are swollen beyond all recognition!"
“You look well.” Baz complimented.
"Thank you." She reached out her hand and stroked Louis' back. "I'll let you get him settled again. I'll see myself out."
Baz smiled, “Maybe we could get a coffee sometime?” She said goodbye to Duffy and went to put Louis back down on the sofa.
Duffy smiled brightly and nodded as she closed the door behind her and headed back out to her car.
Hiding. Part 11a
Cowritten with @disastrousintention.
-x-
It had been months since Charlie had last had contact with Louis, Baz was still being unreasonable when it came to their son. It was beginning to wear Charlie down, making him a little more moody and short-tempered than usual. He understand he’d hurt Baz but using their son as a weapon wasn’t acceptable. Still, he didn’t want to make a fuss even though it was breaking his heart.
Duffy had had enough. It was getting beyond a joke! She knew Charlie would never agree to her idea though so she waited til he was at work and she had the day off to put the wheels in motion.
Parking her car she checked the note on she'd scribbled and left on the passenger seat. This was the right address. She'd never been here before.
Baz was home, it was coincidentally her day off too. She was in the kitchen, Louis having a nap.
Duffy walked up to the door and took a deep breath. She rang the buzzer and waited.
Baz frowned as she heard the doorbell. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Placing her mug down on the counter, she went to the door and opened it.
"Hello Baz."
“What do you want?”
"To talk. Can I come in? It's pretty cold standing on your doorstep."
“I suppose.” Baz stepped aside and invited her in.
Duffy walked into the hallway hesitating as she debated taking her coat off.
“Drink?” Baz was too calm. She closed the door quietly behind her.
"Um, tea please." Duffy began to remove her coat. Though she had purposely chosen clothes that were loose fitting she was well aware that nothing was going to hide her rounded figure now that she was approaching her sixth month.
Baz already had her back turned and was heading into the kitchen. She switched the kettle on. Leaving back against the counter, she folded her arms across her chest. “If you’re here on Charlie's behalf you can tell him that I thought he was better at fighting his own battles.”
"He doesn't know I'm here." Duffy replied as she entered the kitchen and perched awkwardly on one of the stools by the breakfast bar.
“You’re doing this behind his back?” She shrugged, “Well you’re both used to doing things behind everyone’s back, aren’t you?”
"You're one to talk Baz. You forget we go back a long way too."
Baz scoffed, “Really?”
"Anyway, I came here to talk about Louis. Charlie has a right to see him."
“He made his choice when he left us for his mistress.” Baz turned around and began to make Duffy a cup of tea.
"Your relationship was dead long before I came back to Holby."
“That’s where you’re wrong!” Baz sighed, “Regardless. Like I said. He chose to walk away, I gave him a choice!”
"Oh he told me all about your 'choice' Baz."
“He did tell the full version or the edited one?” She gave Duffy a mug.
"He told me that you said that if he left to go help me then you'd make sure he never saw Louis again." The conversation was stirring up painful memories and emotions in Duffy. She absentmindedly rubbed her belly as she felt the baby give a firm kick.
“Of course I did.” She paused, “He’s my husband, in case you’ve forgotten?”
"And he's my..." Duffy paused, not entirely sure how to end the sentence.
“Fuck buddy? Lover?” Baz sneered.
Duffy sighed. Baz's tone made the whole thing sound so sordid.
“Charlie made his choice. He walked out on us. As far as I’m concerned, Louis doesn’t have a father.”
"He did it to protect me and..." Her voice trailed off once more.
“Protect you and the baby?” Baz filled in the blanks.
"Yes. He was terrified for our safety."
“And he chose you. And your baby. Over Louis. So now he lives with that decision. I’m not the bitch here.”
"I had my face smashed in that night." Duffy mumbled.
Baz didn’t answer. There wasn't really much she could say.
"You told him that. You forced the situation where he'd have to chose knowing full well what that choice would be!"
“I knew he’d been fucking someone. I just never knew it was you.”
"We didn't mean for it to happen."
“I always knew he was protective over you. I think your rape did it.” She shrugged.
Duffy stood up from the stool and took a step back trying to block out the memories Baz's words brought back.
“You should sit down.” Baz told her.
"I'm fine." She stammered.
Finally fully noticing Duffy’s bump, Baz sighed softly. “I said, sit down.” She was bloody stubborn, that woman, Baz thought.
"If I sit down will you discuss letting Charlie see Louis?"
“If that's what it takes for you to sit down, then yes!”
Duffy sat back on the stool. It wasn't particularly comfortable as it lacked back support but it was better than nothing.
“Thank you.” Baz sighed. “I was jealous of you. Still am.” She confessed.
"Me? Why? You had everything!"
“Did I?”
"Yes, you're a high flying doctor with the pick of jobs and men."
“But the one man I wanted, I couldn't have.” She replied.
"You mean..?"
Baz briefly made eye contact with her.
Duffy blushed. "I never meant for it to happen this way I swear!"
“I know. But I saw it coming a mile off.” Baz admitted.
"We tried to resist temptation."
“Again, like I said, I saw it coming.”
"Please don't punish Louis though for what happened between me and his father."
“I’m not. I’m punishing Charlie.” Baz answered.
"But Louis gets caught in the crossfire. He's only a toddler, it's not fair on him." Her tone darkened. "These kind of things cause deep damage to children."
Baz was about to say something when she heard tiny footsteps. Louis had woken up, just what she needed. “Ama?” He called, rubbing his eyes. He stopped in the doorway, one hand clutching his teddy, the other rubbing his eye. Baz smiled and picked him up, the toddler resting his head in the crook of his mum’s neck.
Duffy smiled, she couldn't believe how much the little boy had grown in the few short months since she'd last seen him and how, though his coloring was pure Baz, his facial features were becoming the spit of his father.
Baz’s hand rubbed Louis’ back as he yawned. “I was trying to hurt Charlie in the same way he hurt me.”
"Well you've succeeded, he's heartbroken over not seeing his son."
Louis, upon hearing Duffy’s voice, moved his head back from the crook of his mum’s neck. He stared at Duffy and grinned. He began to wriggle so much that Baz had no choice but to put him down on the floor before he hurt himself. Louis ran towards Duffy, “Ada? Where Ada?” He asked Duffy, lifting his arms in the air, clearly wanting a cuddle.
Duffy hesitated momentarily, looking anxiously over at Baz. She looked back down as she felt Louis begin to pull on her skirt. Reaching down she picked him up and shifted him awkwardly till he was sat on her hip, unintentionally drawing more attention to her pregnant figure in the process.
"I'm sorry little fella, your daddy's at work today." She told him as he rested his head on her shoulder.
Baz raised an eyebrow, so it was like /that/ was it? “How many times did you and Charlie screw in the presence of my son?” She asked, struggling to contain her emotions.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Duffy remarked. She turned back to Louis who had begun to pull her hair to regain her attention. "That hurts sweetie, please don't." She told him gently as she attempted to remove his hand.
“I’m not being ridiculous! Louis clearly associates you with his father. Why? Because he’s seen you both together?” Louis finally relented and removed his hand from Duffy’s hair. He glanced at his mum and then back at Duffy.
"Charlie and I have been best friends for years Baz." She readjusted Louis' position on her hip as the pressure of his leg against her stomach was causing the baby to kick quite violently.
Louis' eyes widened as he felt the movement and he reached his hand out towards Duffy's stomach.
“How often did you screw each other in Louis’ presence?” She asked again, getting more annoyed as she watched the way Louis interacted with Duffy. Louis’ hand came to rest on Duffy’s belly and he giggled, “What dat?”
Duffy's attention was now solely focused on the little boy in her arms. "That feels funny doesn't it?" He nodded, his eyes full of curiosity and wonder. "That's because there's a baby in there." She explained. "Do you want to say hello?"
Louis nodded. Baz knew there was no chance on earth that Charlie was ever going to see Louis again! They weren’t going to play happy families with her son! “I don’t think that's appropriate, do you?”
"So you're not only going to deny Louis a relationship with his father but also with his sister?" Though they didn't know for sure, Charlie's repeated insistence that she was carrying a girl had begun to rub off on her.
“I’m not going to sit back and watch you play happy families with my son, alright?” She snapped, “Charlie made his choice when he went off to save his mistress and baby. He only has himself to blame.”
Louis was rubbing Duffy’s stomach. “Baby.” He said softly, “Ello baby!”
"You do that and you'll eventually lose him anyway." She looked down at the toddler who was giggling, utterly transfixed by the baby's movements inside her belly.
“Lose who?” Baz asked as she watched Louis.
"Louis. He'll walk away once he realises how bitter and twisted you really are!"
“Really?” She laughed, “Or maybe he’ll stay when he learns daddy dearest replaced him with a new baby.”
"Charlie and I have plenty of love to share between all 4 of our children. They're all equally cherished and special to us." She asserted.
“Of course they are.” She answered back. “Louis will learn the truth when he’s old enough. That his dad didn’t bother, just walked away when his mistress found out she was pregnant. Got a new family. I’ll make sure Louis hates Charlie for what he did. For what he made me do!” She said bitterly before realising she’d accidentally said too much. Crap!
Confusion flooded Duffy's features. "What he made you do?" She echoed.
“I think you should go.” Baz couldn’t make eye contact.
"No. Not til you explain what the hell you meant just then."
“Nothing!”
"Baz..." Despite everything that had gone on in the past Duffy was beginning to feel deeply concerned. Something wasn't right.
“What?” She swallowed.
"What have you done?" She asked softly.
“It doesn’t matter, does it?”
"I'm not leaving til you tell me. For Louis' sake if nothing else."
“What good will it do?”
Duffy shifted Louis once more in her arms. Though he wasn't a big child standing and holding him for such a long time was beginning to cause no end of discomfort to her lower back, a feeling not helped by the fact that the baby seemed full of energy today, rolling and kicking furiously.
“I was pregnant.” Baz admitted and then sighed.
"When?" The shock was clearly written on Duffy's face.
“I don’t think there was much between us. A few weeks or so.”
Baz's words hit Duffy like a punch to the chest. Charlie had sworn to her that he hadn't been sleeping with Baz. "But, he said..."
“That he wasn’t sleeping with me?”
Duffy nodded, her eyes welling up with tears.
“It wasn’t often. Once a month or so. We were just unlucky.”
"How could he do that to me? He knew how much I couldn't stand Andrew touching me after he'd slept with another woman." She murmured as the tears began to slide down her cheeks.
Baz handed Duffy a tissue, “Like I said, we were barely intimate.”
"Why did you tell me? You'd clearly already made your decision to not go through with it. Do you really hate me that much?"
Louis' attention became distracted from the baby and he reached out to touch Duffy's wet cheek. His face dropped as he began to cry quietly.
“To not go through with the pregnancy?” Baz laughed sadly, “You don’t understand...” Baz stepped towards Louis, “Come to Ama?”
Louis reluctantly let go of Duffy as Baz took him into her arms.
Duffy sat back onto the stool, her back grateful of the rest but her arms suddenly felt very empty. She found herself absentmindedly rubbing her bump once more.
Baz rubbed Louis’ back, holding him in her arms and rocking him gently. “Charlie said a baby wasn’t what we needed right now. That Louis was too small and...” Baz swallowed, “And we needed to concentrate on Louis.” She hoped Duffy would figure out what she was trying to say.
"Charlie asked you to have an abortion?" Surely not, Charlie revelled in fatherhood, he would never insist on something like that!
Baz nodded, “You wouldn’t believe me if i said yes, anyway.”
Duffy's mind was reeling as she thought back to the conversation they'd had in his office when she'd first told him that she was pregnant. She'd asked him if that's what he'd wanted her to do too!
“We made the choice to have an abortion but...” She shrugged.
"But..." Duffy pressed gently.
“For the first time in my life, I may not have been 100% certain about my decision.”
"Why did you do it then?"
“Because I thought it might help get our marriage back on track.”
"I didn't exactly help matters in that respect. I'm sorry."
“It’s fine.” She swallowed, “I just didn’t expect 2 weeks after I had the abortion for my husband to come home and tell me he’d got another woman pregnant. And then leave me for her.”
Duffy winced. "Did Charlie go with you to the appointment?" She wasn't sure why but she needed to know.
She nodded, “Yeah he did.”
Duffy was surprised by the relief she'd felt at that knowledge. At least she wouldn't have to live with the shame of knowing that he'd been with her while his wife was aborting their child.
Hiding. Part 10a (NSFW)
Cowritten with @disastrousintention.
-x-
It wasn’t long before Charlie’s hands had started to roam Duffy’s body as the kiss heated up causing her to let out a moan as he reached a particularly sensitive area.
“Like that area being touched do you?” He smiled as he removed her - or rather his - T-shirt and threw it onto the coffee table.
"Mmhmm." She sighed, her eyes closed.
His hands found her breasts. His lips on her neck. She gasped as his fingers skimmed across her nipples through the fabric of her underwear. He reached around and unclipped her bra with one hand. “You’re so sexy.”
She inhaled sharply as the cool air hit her skin. His lips began to travel from her neck, to her collarbone and towards her breasts. Leaving gentle kisses against her skin.
"Stop teasing!" She hissed.
“Someone’s very impatient.” He laughed.
"Its been a very long month for me too!"
He took her left nipple into his mouth. Her left breast was always his favourite for some reason.
She bit down on her bottom lip, trying desperately to suppress the moan that was building inside her.
Charlie’s tongue ran around her nipple before he gently began to suck. His other hand was working its way into her leggings.
Duffy began to unbutton Charlie's shirt.
After giving both breasts his attention, his hands began to remove her leggings and underwear, until she was naked. He studied her body, the first time in weeks he’d seen her fully naked.
Duffy blushed, she couldn't look Charlie in the eye. She felt exposed as he still had most of his clothes on.
His eyes roamed her figure as he removed his shirt. “Fucking hell.”
Her cheeks flushed a deeper red. She attempted to move to cover herself from his gaze.
“Don’t move.” He said to her, “You are fucking gorgeous.”
Seeing the flicker of uncertainty that still remained in her eyes he took hold of her hand and moved it towards his groin, “You’re making me so hard right now.”
She smiled as she felt him twitch under her touch.
He laughed gently. “You always could make me hard.”
She giggled.
“Stop it. You’ll make me come.” He warned. He began to plant kisses against her swollen stomach, getting lower and lower.
"Wouldn't want you making a mess." She continued to giggle. Her giggles quickly turned to moans, however, as his mouth moved lower.
“Ssh.” He laughed gently as he caressed her inner thighs and placed kisses on her delicate skin.
"You're teasing again..."
He decided to stop teasing her. He ran his tongue over her most sensitive part.
She moaned. The sensations felt stronger than anything she'd experienced before.
Hearing her moan, Charlie continued. His tongue continued to pleasure her, both licking and sucking her. He loved being down there, he couldn’t get enough of her.
Her hands ran through his hair, gripping it tightly as she rode the waves of pleasure that washed over her.
He held her down as she orgasmed. Collecting her wetness with his tongue.
Duffy lay back against the arm of the sofa, her breathing heavy and short as she came back down. She swore under her breath.
He kissed his way back up her body. “You ok, beautiful?”
She nodded. "Bloody hell!"
“Is that a good bloody hell?” He asked. He began to remove his belt.
She looked aghast at him. Why did he feel the need to ask such stupid questions?
He laughed gently as he kissed her, her passions rising once more at the taste of herself on his tongue.
She placed her hands on Charlie's shoulders and pushed him backwards shifting position so that he now lay back on the sofa.
“Oh Hello, gorgeous.” He looked up at her, now lying on his back.
She smirked, the fire clear in her eyes.
He reached up and stroked her cheek.
Moving to straddle his lap Duffy set about completing the task that Charlie had started. She finished unbuckling his belt and opened the button and zip of his jeans.
He watched her, his breathing quickening.
Hooking her fingers into the belt loops she eased his jeans down his thighs. She licked her lips as she surveyed the way the material of his boxers strained to contain his engorged member.
“I feel like I’m going to pop.” He replied breathlessly.
She slid from his lap onto the floor. "What was it you said earlier? Something about me being on my knees..?"
“You on your knees with my cock in your mouth.” He told her.
"Maybe if you use your manners I might oblige." She teased, running a fingertip along his cock.
His penis twitched as she ran her fingertips along him. “Please will you suck my cock?”
"Seeing as how you asked so nicely it would be rude of me not to!" She pulled down his boxers and giggled as his cock, finally freed from its constraints, instantly leapt to attention.
“I hope you’re not laughing at my cock?” He asked.
"Of course not. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings." She giggled.
“Good girl.”
"I think you'll find I'm even better when I'm a bad girl." She smirked before leaning forwards and quickly taking the full length of him deep into her mouth.
“That’s—“ He threw his head back against the sofa, “Fucking hell!” He moaned, loudly.
She pulled back quickly. "What happened to being quiet?" She hissed, glaring at him.
“Sorry.” He bit his lip.
"So you should be!" She told him, her voice taking on the no nonsense tone she used when dealing with uncooperative patients at work.
He laughed softly, instantly knowing the tone of voice she was using.
Her glare grew fiercer.
He pretended to zip his mouth shut.
"I see you've finally decided to be a sensible boy then." She resumed her previous position, alternating between swirling her tongue around him and grazing her teeth along his skin.
He moaned quietly as he watched her give him head. Her mouth was wonderful!
She looked up at him, all wide green eyed innocence. She knew exactly the effect that would have on him.
“Fuck!” He muttered. Her eyes were always the thing that tipped him over the edge. That look of innocence!
She maintained eye contact as she increased the speed of her movements, somehow managing to take him even deeper into her throat.
Feeling himself deeper in her throat, Charlie groaned again and ended up reaching his peak. He came in her mouth.
Without even blinking she swallowed every last drop of his hot juices before running her tongue along the length of him as she slid his now softening cock from her mouth.
“Christ.” His breathing was heavy.
"I had been debating whether to have some supper but now I don't think I need to. I feel pretty full after that!" She licked her lips one last time.
“Well I’m not surprised. There was about a week’s worth that’s just been emptied into your stomach.”
She climbed back up onto the sofa and lay beside him, reaching behind her to grab the blanket that was slung over the back of the sofa. "One way or another you seem determined to fill me up with your seed!"
“I never hear you complaining.” He moved her leg over his waist, his cock was beginning to harden again.
"Round two already?"
“I’m not horny, honest.”
"Could have fooled me!" She giggled before growing more serious. "Does it make you horny knowing that soon everyone will know about our sexual exploits?" She whispered, her hand coming to rest on her swollen stomach.
“Does it make you horny too?” He asked.
"Maybe..." She paused as she gathered her thoughts. "Before today I would have said no but after tonight and the way you look at me, the words you've said... You make me feel..." She paused once more, unable to find the right word.
“I make you feel what?” He asked as his hand came to rest on her stomach. He licked her earlobe.
"You make me feel like... More than I am. Its dizzying."
“You’re beautiful. You deserve the world.” He looked deep into her eyes. “And I intend on always making you feel alive and loved. No matter what.”
"We're so lucky to have you in our lives." She whispered, a single tear silently trickling down her cheek.
He gently wiped the tear from her cheek, “And you’ll always have me too. All four of you.”
She lightly kissed his lips.
He deepened the kiss, his hand groping her bum.
"That didn't take you long!"
“It’s not my fault I can’t stop touching you! You’re so beautiful! So sexy. You only have to give me a look and my cock’s hard.”
"That must be deeply distracting for you at work." She remarked sarcastically.
“Yeah it really is.”
"Its a wonder you get any work done. Especially as your eyes, and often your hand, seem perminently glued to my butt!"
“Sometimes I’m surprised I get any work done at all.” He slapped her bottom.
"Its not gunna get any easier either now there's even more for you to stare at!"
“The result of me filling you up too much.” He smiled.
"Something like that."
“I never used protection with you for some reason. It just felt... you know, right.” He mused.
"Well the first few times we were too drunk to remember things like that!"
“Yeah, that’s true.” He licked her earlobe again.
"I think we were sober when this happened though."
“When the baby was conceived?” He tapped her belly gently, “I think so too.”
"Yeh. It's been a while since we indulged in drunk sex. Its been more like 'we've got 10 minutes let me fuck you over this desk' sex recently!"
“Exactly.” He smiled, “Although it’s usually 15 minutes.”
"If you say so." She giggled.
“Definitely fifteen. And you usually come before me.”
"Is this where you tell me that's coz a gentleman always let's the lady come first?"
“Oh definitely.” He leaned in close to her ear. “And I love the feel of a woman climaxing on my cock.” He whispered hotly.
Her grin widened as she moved to straddle his lap once more. "Show me what you've got then big boy!" She demanded.
He moved himself and her hips, sliding into her with ease.
She bit her lip as she took a moment to readjust to his size inside her. It had been a while afterall.
He moaned softly.
She lent forward slightly, grasping the back of the sofa on either side of Charlie's head firmly in her hands.
“You’re so tight.” He whispered as he began to move.
"Out of practise." She gasped.
“Hmm, need to loosen you up then.” He moaned softly.
"Mmhmm." She moaned as she felt him grasp hold of her hips.
“Am I doing all the work?” He asked as he moved her against him. His hands firmly on her hips.
"I have a bad back." She reminded him with a pout.
“Any excuse.” He lent up and kissed her. He tried to move her onto her back.
She shook her head. "It hurts more when I lie on my back." She explained.
“Well that’s just bloody typical isn’t it?” He smiled and kissed her again, as he continued to make love to her. His thrusts got harder.
As his movements increased she shifted her arms to wrap around his shoulders, though this caused her bare breasts to bounce into Charlie's face. He grinned wolfishly as he kissed them.
Duffy moaned as she felt Charlie's tongue flick against her nipple once more.
“Ssh.” He did it again.
She let out another moan.
“I thought you said you were quiet.” He continued to roll her hips against him.
"I am. We both know I can be much louder than this."
Hiding. Part 9a
Cowritten with @disastrousintention.
-x-
Duffy closed the bedroom door softly behind her. She looked over at Charlie who was sat on the sofa. "Sorry, Jake took ages to settle."
Charlie was sat in the lounge, watching the tv but not really paying attention to it. Hearing Duffy’s voice, he turned his head in her direction and replied; “I’m surprised! He seemed worn out earlier in the park.”
"Overtired." She sighed.
“That happens to me.” He smiled. “Drink?”
"Yes please." She sat down on the sofa. "I hope you don't get as tearful as Jake does when you're overtired." She joked.
“Tea? Coffee?” He paused, “Hmm, on occasions.” He laughed.
"Tea please. If I drink coffee now I'll be up all night."
He nodded and kissed her head before getting up and heading into the kitchen whre he made her a cup of tea.
She lifted her feet up and lay back against the arm of the sofa. Wriggling slightly she adjusted the waistband of her leggings, trying to alleviate the fact it was starting to dig into her skin.
He came back with the cup of tea a few minutes later. He handed her the mug, “Am I allowed to touch you now with no interruptions?”
"You said we were going to talk..." She reminded him.
“I know. But you know how easily distracted I get.” He laughed.
"Not half!" She giggled.
“It’s not my fault!” He protested as he sat down beside her.
Duffy shifted on the sofa attempting to give him more space.
He sat beside her. “Anything you want to discuss first?”
"I think we need to sit the boys down properly and talk to them about all of this." She paused. "I don't know what the hell exactly we're going to say though."
“Hmm. I agree and like you, I’m also lost at how we can explain it.”
"I guess we need to decide what we're doing before we speak to them."
“Of course.”
Duffy sipped at her tea as she tried to work out where to begin.
He watched her, his hand caressing her thigh.
She looked down at Charlie's hand, a small smile on her lips.
He continued for several minutes. A comfortable silence between the two.
She finished her drink and placed the mug on the coffee table. She then stretched and wriggled adjusting the cushion behind her back.
His hand moved up to her stomach as she changed positions.
"I don't remember being this uncomfortable last time." She sighed.
“Which is another reason I think it’s a girl.” He replied as he stroked his fingers against her swollen stomach.
"And you tease me about old wives tales."
He smiled brightly and shrugged. “Like I keep saying, I just have a hunch that’s all.”
"Well we'll know for sure either way in 6 months or less."
“That’s a long time.” He replied, pouting.
"Patience was never a strong point of yours. Especially with women!" She snorted.
“Am I really that impatient when it comes to women?”
She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Give me an example.” He asked with a smile.
She moved her hands together and slowly removed her wedding ring. She then held it up towards him with a pointed look.
“I’m not impatient. I just don’t have great timing, that’s all.”
She sighed as she placed the ring down on the coffee table next to her mug. "I'm not exactly the first Charlie."
“I’m a man who likes women.” He shrugged. “I also like sex, if you hadn’t noticed.”
"Especially with unobtainable women." She pointed out. "I don't blame you. Thrill of the chase and all that but what now? Are you actually ready to settle down this time?"
“Of course I’m ready to settle down. I don’t intend on jumping from one bed to the next for much longer. I’m not getting any younger afterall.”
"So I'm the one you've decided to settle for?"
“You are the one I want to settle with.”
"The boys need stability Charlie."
“Ah. You don’t think I can commit?” He asked with a sigh.
"We've known each other a long time and in all that time have you had a relationship that's lasted longer than a year?"
He shook his head, “No but there’s a reason for that.”
"Oh?"
“None of them were you.”
"I was right there waiting for years Charlie." She whispered.
“It was never the right time.”
"And now is?" She questioned.
“Not really, but you’re having our baby.”
"Don't do this just for the baby."
"I'm not!"
"Not even a little bit?" She pressed.
Charlie shrugged.
"Please be honest. I can take it. Would you have left Baz if I hadn't fallen pregnant?"
“Probably not this soon, no.” He sighed.
"Thank you for being honest."
“You still think I’m doing this for the baby, don’t you? And not because I genuinely want to be with you.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Why else take on all this baggage?"
“Because I love you!!”
Duffy went quiet and began fidgeting with her fingers.
“It was Baz who told me about Andrew knocking you about.”
Duffy didn't respond to his statement but the shock was written all over her face. She'd been so convinced that she'd gotten through to Baz that day.
He glanced at her and continued. “She made me choose. You or Louis...” He swallowed, “So please don’t think I’m doing this solely for the baby because I’m not.” He stood up and wandered into the kitchen, he needed a stronger drink.
Duffy sighed and pushed herself slowly up from the sofa. She followed him through and lent against the frame of the kitchen doorway. "Would it help if I spoke to her? Tried to convince her to let you see him?"
He poured himself a large glass of whiskey and shook his head. “I made my choice. I live with my decision.”
"You weren't given a fair choice! I can speak to her. As a mother."
“She’s stubborn. You really think she’ll let me see my son? She needs Louis as a bargaining chip, a sense of control.”
"I can be very persuasive. You of all people should know that."
“I’ll figure something out.” He replied. He had his back to Duffy. He wiped away a tear that rolled down his cheek. He missed Louis terribly.
Crossing the kitchen Duffy wrapped her arms around Charlie's waist and rested her head against the back of his shoulder.
He didn’t say anything, more tears rolling down his cheeks. He pushed the glass of whiskey away and sighed.
"You're a fantastic father Charlie. Remember that. She's just being unbelievably cruel."
“Im glad someone thinks so.”
"Watching you with the boys earlier... To look at you all together you'd think you were their father. You're wonderful with them."
“I love your boys like they’re my own, I always have.”
"And they love you too. Even if Peter is being a bit sulky currently."
“This is a lot for him to take in and understand and make sense of.” He wiped the tears from his cheeks and sniffed. His tears stopping.
"Do you think he knows?"
“Knows about what? Everything?”
"Well he mentioned about us and his father. But, well, he didn't say anything about the baby."
“What did he say?”
"He said he wasn't bothered about us coz he knew his dad was cheating on me."
“Ah.” He sighed sadly and shrugged. “I’m not sure.”
"You're not sure about what?"
“Whether he knows everything.” Charlie smiled sadly.
"He can be so hard to read sometimes." She sighed.
“So are you, at times.” He rubbed her stomach, “We'll keep an eye on him.”
She levelled a brief glare at him before relenting. "He wanted to see his dad."
“Don’t give me that look, I said at times. Not always.” He smiled sadly, “Ah. That might be an issue.”
"I felt terrible for saying no. Maybe..." She began.
“Take some time to think about it?” He suggested.
"He never once hurt the boys. Maybe it would be OK for me to take them to see him..." She mused.
“Would you do something for me?” He asked.
"What?" She asked, confused.
“If you do choose to meet him, you’ll do it in public? Where it’s busy?”
"He wouldn't do anything in front of the boys Charlie. I'll be perfectly fine."
“Promise me?"
"I know how to handle him. Stop worrying."
“I’ll always worry.”
"You don't have to. I'm not a little girl who needs her hand holding constantly."
“I know but it still doesn’t stop me from worrying about you.”
Deciding this was a battle she wasn't going to win she changed tacts. "So what are we going to tell the boys?"
“Regarding us and the baby?”
She nodded. "We have to say something. Jake is clearly suspicious."
“I’m happy to tell them whenever you are.” Charlie moved his hand into Duffy’s, entwining his fingers with hers.
"I was hoping to wait a little longer but it seems the baby has other ideas."
“Baby’s growing.” He replied. “I think Jake already knows there’s something in your belly.”
"I think you're right." She sighed. "I barely showed at all til I was practically half way through with the boys."
“Your bump is beautiful, just like you.” He said with a smile. “Maybe we could take the boys out for dinner and tell them while we’re out?”
"You want us to go properly public?"
“Why not?”
"We're both still married though."
“I know.” A thought occurred to him. “Or maybe we can go out for dinner and then at home, we can sit them down together and tell them about the baby?”
"I like that idea better. Just in case they don't react well to the news."
Charlie nodded, “That’s what we’ll do.”
"That's one issue kind of sorted but we still need to figure out the situation with Louis."
Charlie sighed, “I’ll figure something out.”
"Please let me help you. I can call Baz. She and I should probably have a conversation sooner or later."
“She won’t take that very well, will she?” He sighed, “She's knows what happened the night of the wedding.”
Hiding. Part 8c
“I was giving you time to calm down.”
"I. Am. Calm."
He rose an eyebrow in amusement, “Really? It doesn’t look like it from where I’m stood.”
"You just don't understand!" She wailed, beginning to cry again.
“You’re hormonal. It’s part of the pregnancy.” He replied and stepped towards her.
"No I'm not." She sobbed.
He wrapped his arms around her.
After a few moments her tears subsided. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.
He kissed the top of her head, “It’s fine. Honestly.”
"I didn't mean to..." She shrugged.
“It’s fine.” He reassured, “You’re pregnant. Your feelings and emotions are all over the place. I’m going to have to get used to this, aren’t I?”
"Yeh..." She replied, blushing bashfully.
“I didn’t mean what I said, about... you know.”
"Me either. This baby is not a 'fault'."
“I may have planned her.” He admitted quietly.
Duffy's eyes went as wide as saucers. "What?!" She gasped.
“Not like that. Just...” he paused for a second. “I love you. Why wouldn’t I want something that was a part of us? Something that would be a product of our love together?” He sighed.
"But... But... You must have realised the consequences it would unleash."
“I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon.” He replied, “I hoped by the time it did happen, you and I would be together properly.” He laughed, “But nothing ever goes to plan, does it?”
She sighed but couldn't help smiling slightly. "No it never does."
“But I did want a baby with you. One day. I wanted you to be the mother of my child.” He blushed. “And you’re going to be.” He got embarrassed for a moment. Charlie wasn’t really a guy who shared his feelings.
She gently kissed his cheek. "Its something I dreamed of too." She admitted softly.
He looked up and met her eye. Her admission surprised him. “You did?”
"You remember that time years ago when you joked about whether I was offering to have your baby? I laughed it off but inside my heart was hammering in case you were actually being serious."
“I was.” He laughed gently. “Deadly serious.”
She shot him an incredulous look.
He smiled and pecked her lips.
"I keep thinking I've figured you out and then you surprise me with something like that."
“Is that a good thing?” He laughed gently.
She contemplated her answer. "Maybe. Just means I need to up my game to keep you on your toes."
“Ah is that right?” He smiled. “Tonight? When the boys are in bed, can we talk? About everything?”
"OK."
“Shall we go back to the boys?”
"Yes, before the film finishes and they come wandering to find us!" She grimaced, thinking of earlier.
He laughed slightly, “I guess it’ll teach me to keep my wandering hands to myself.”
"Yes!" She giggled. "Well, not all the time..."
“No, I’m sure you’ll soon miss my touch in places.” He smirked.
"Charlie! Behave yourself." She giggled as she walked into the hallway.
He gave her bottom a gentle and discreet slap before heading back into the hall and then the lounge with the boys.
Hiding. Part 8a
Cowritten with @disastrousintention.
-x-
It had been seven days since Duffy was discharged from hospital, both she and the baby were doing well. The cause of the pain had been growing pains - something to do with the uterus expanding. Charlie was just relieved there had been no long term damage to either of them. Charlie had made Duffy and the boys move into his flat, insisting they took his bedroom whilst he slept on the sofa. While their situation wasn’t ideal, it was only temporarily until Charlie found them somewhere better to live.
Early in the morning Duffy crept into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea. She tried her best to be as quiet as possible because she could see that Charlie was still asleep despite the fact he was half hanging off the sofa.
He was snoring lightly on the sofa. It wasn’t the comfiest place to sleep, he often woke with a stiff back and a sore neck. Still, it wouldn’t be forever, would it?
After placing the milk back in the fridge she sat on one of the stools by the kitchen counter. She sipped her tea and savoured the quiet whilst everyone else was still asleep.
The silence was soon broken, however, when there came a thud from the living room. Charlie had rolled off the sofa. He groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head.
"Oh my gosh! Are you OK?!" She gasped as she jumped up from the stool, well as best she could in her current condition, and hurried over to him.
He yawned and nodded, “Uh huh.” He looked up at her, “I forget this sofa is tiny in comparison to the bed.”
"I'm sorry." She sighed, placing her hand on his shoulder.
“It’s fine.” He paused, “Do you mind... helping me up?”
She hesitated as she tried to figure out the best way to help him. "Um... OK... Er..."
He held his hand out to her, “I’m an old man these days.” He teased with a sleepy smile.
"You were always an old man!" She teased back as she took hold of his hand.
“Rude.” With his hand in hers, Charlie moved from the floor back to the sofa. He covered himself with the blanket, “Sorry, showing you my chicken legs.”
She looked down at her own clothes. "I'm not exactly dressed for company either." She laughed.
He laughed softly and moved his head from side to side, attempting to loosen the tightness in his neck. “Did you sleep ok?”
"As well as I could with Jake's feet in my face!"
“Could be worse, he could have smelly feet.”
"True." She yawned as she ran her fingers through her tangled hair.
Charlie watched her out the corner of his eye and smiled, “Why don’t you go back to sleep for an hour or so?”
"Its ok. I wouldn't be able to get comfortable again now anyway."
“Fancy a snog instead?” He asked with a cheeky smile. “And a cuddle?” He added.
Duffy looked cautiously at the bedroom door across the room. She nervously sat down on the sofa next to him.
He reached out and caressed her cheek. “We can just cuddle if you’re more comfortable with that idea.”
"We just need to be careful." She sighed. "The boys are still so upset about everything with their dad."
“I know darling.” He smiled sadly.
"I don't think they can cope with finding out about us on top of everything else."
Charlie listened to Duffy, placed his hand on her knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I know but we need to tell them about the baby sooner or later.”
"Not yet though. They need more time to adjust to all the changes."
“I know they do.” He smiled sadly, “I’m not about to rush you or the boys, ok?”
"Thank you." She whispered and lent forward to kiss him softly.
He kissed her tenderly, his hand moving from her knee to her stomach.
She ran her hand through his hair, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened and Charlie’s hands began to roam Duffy’s changing figure.
Duffy lent back onto the sofa cushions, taking Charlie with her as she did so.
Pulling away from the kiss, Charlie rested his forehead lightly against Duffy’s. “I’ll wait for as long as you need me too.” He said quietly.
"I want you so much right now but..." She sighed. "Its too risky with the boys here."
“You’re not the only one.” He replied with a chuckle. “Looks like I’m in need of a very cold shower.” He winked and pecked her lips. “Love you.”
"I love you too." A grin slowly appeared on her face. "Do you need someone to help scrub your back?"
"Depends who's offering."
"I might be persuaded..." She knew they were running a huge risk, the boys could wake up at any moment, but she couldn't help herself as she reached out to kiss him once more.
As they kissed his hands caressed each part of her body. He needed her, wanted her.
Duffy could feel the sensible part of her brain being quickly overridden but mounting desire. A common problem when she and Charlie were alone together.
“Shall we... go and get that shower?” He whispered as he broke away from the kiss again. One of his hands cupped her breast over her top.
Duffy moaned softly at the sensations his touch provoked deep inside her.
His lips began to move to her neck, planting soft kisses along her neck and collarbone. Charlie moved his hands under her top, his fingertips running against her nipples.
Duffy let out a gasp that was quickly interrupted by a lust-filled moan.
Hearing her moan, Charlie felt a familiar sensation in his stomach. “Shower?” He kissed her urgently.
He moved his hands from her breasts and got to his feet. He offered his hand out to her.
She took his hand and allowed herself to be led across the room. Once in the bathroom she watched him turn on the shower and begin to undress. Suddenly she felt very self conscious once more.
As he removed his T-shirt, Charlie sensed Duffy's hesitation. He turned his attention to her, placed both his hands against her hips and told her: “You’re beautiful.”
Despite Charlie's words she remained unconvinced. She knew the truth. She was fat and damaged. Why couldn't he see that?
She was beautiful, inside and out. “I want to see your body.” He whispered.
She slowly lowered her pj bottoms to the floor. She still felt fairly confident in the shapely nature of her legs. She then moved her hands to the oversized tshirt she wore, her fingers playing with the hem.
He watched her as she removed her pyjama bottoms and bit his lip. She was so gorgeous! She was getting him very warm.
Letting go of the top she reached down to fold up her pj bottoms. She was stalling for time, avoiding removing her top in front of him.
“You have no reason to be self-conscious, at all.” He reassured. “I love your body. I always have.”
She chewed at her lip as she slowly removed her top, avoiding his gaze the entire time. Though the bruising had begun to fade it was still visible.
He placed his hand against the bruising and stroked his fingertips against it.
A single tear escaped down her cheek. She hated the fact that he'd had to see her this way.
With his free hand, he reached up and wiped away the tear. “What’s wrong?” The concern was evident on his face, “Am I hurting you?” He moved his hand quickly from the bruise, thinking he was causing her discomfort.
She shook her head. "I... I'm sorry." She mumbled.
“Please don’t ever apologise.” He paused, “Are you ok?”
"Sorry." It was instinctive. She sighed. "Nervous." She whispered.
“What are you nervous about?” He asked.
She stuttered unable to form the words to explain how she felt.
“Are you nervous about us?”
"No!" She sighed. "Its all just so much, so quickly." She shrugged, frustrated with herself.
“It’s ok to be nervous.” He reassured, “Especially considering everything that has happened.” Charlie took a few minutes to collect his thoughts, “We can wait... if you don’t want to be intimate. If that’s what’s making you nervous.”
"You're always so understanding." She whispered, a hint of shock in her tone.
"That surprises you doesn't it?" He asked sadly, already knowing the answer.
She nodded. She swallowed before reaching out her hands to wrap around his shoulders. She tilted her head towards him to kiss him once more, thinking that's what she should do.
He kissed her back but withdrew soon afterwards. “Let’s take a shower and maybe we can talk some more?” He smiled, “I want you to take the first steps here. I don’t want you to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing.”
She slowly eased the tshirt up over her head and stepped into the shower.
He watched her remove her top, biting his lip. Damn, she was hot! He removed his shorts and followed her into the shower.
She was finally starting to relax and enjoy Charlie's kisses and caresses when suddenly she heard a noise from the other room.
“Sounds like one of the boys is awake.” Charlie said quietly as he kissed her. “I’ll tell them you’re in the shower.”
"How are you gunna explain you being in the bathroom too?"
“I’m hoping if I get out of there quick enough, they won’t know I’ve been in the bathroom too.” He kissed her again before getting out of the shower, quickly drying himself and throwing on his clothes.
Duffy finished her shower and headed back into the lounge. She smiled as she saw Charlie making breakfast for her sons.
He didn’t even notice she’d returned to the lounge. He was talking to Peter.
Her heart burst as she watched the scene in front of her. Peter wasn't even Charlie's son yet he behaved like more of father to him than Andrew ever had.
He looked up and caught Duffy’s gaze. He smiled, “Would you like some breakfast?”
"That would be lovely. Thanks."
Charlie smiled brightly as he made Duffy breakfast. He loved her sons like they were his own, he always had done.
Duffy smiled shyly, her fingers brushing against Charlie's as he held out her bowl.
“I was just asking the boys how they’re both getting on at school.”
"Did you manage to get more out of them than I usually do?" She laughed.
"Uncle Charlie said he'd come to see my match next Saturday." Peter grinned.
“I did actually.” Charlie laughed and smiled, “That’s ok with you, isn’t it?” He clarified with Duffy.
"Of course. If that's what Peter wants then it's fine with me."
“You looking forward to your game?” He asked Peter.
"Yeh. Mum usually has to work when I have matches."
“I’m sure your mum will be able to attend this one.”
"Doesn't she have a shift?" He asked, puzzled.
Duffy turned to look at Charlie with a raised eyebrow. She did have a shift that morning.
“Leave it with me and I’ll see what I can do, alright?”
Duffy shot Charlie a look. So much for no special treatment!
He sighed softly. He wasn’t giving her special treatment. He knew she wouldn’t accept it nor like it.
"Mummy can't run around at football. She's too fat!" Jake giggled.
“Jake! That’s not nice.” Charlie knew that comment would shatter Duffy’s confidence - the tiny shreds she had left.
"Mummy says you should always tell the truth." He replied, confused.
“Mummy isn’t fat, that’s not a nice word to say.” He explained gently. “It can make someone very sad.” He crouched down to Jake’s level.
Peter watched the entire exchange with interest. His mum's face was red and her eyes were shiny. Maybe that's why Uncle Charlie was so unhappy.
Duffy wasn’t fat, far from it. Charlie smiled sadly at Jake, “Will you say sorry to your mum?”
"Sorry." He mumbled as he reached out to give his mum a cuddle. He was still confused though as his mother's tummy wasn't as soft as it had been before.
Charlie caught Duffy’s eye and smiled sadly. He knew they’d have to tell the boys soon.
Peter looked from his mum to Uncle Charlie and back again. Something was definitely going on.
He was a smart kid. Of course he was always going to suss the relationship out sooner than they’d have liked.
Duffy cleared her throat. "How about we all get dressed and then we can watch a film?" She suggested anxiously, desperate to deflect attention away from the current topic of discussion.
The boys nodded, finished their breakfast and placed their breakfast bowls in the sink. “Can I pick the film?” Jake asked.
"Sure. You boys go on and get dressed first. I'll get changed after you're done." Duffy instructed.
Peter shot her a look but agreed and left with his brother.
After the boys had disappeared into the bedroom. Charlie stepped towards Duffy, “Are you ok?”
"I've been so careful around them."
“I know you have.”
"How does he know? You haven't said anything have you?"
“Sweetheart, I haven’t said anything.”
"I bet they're all talking about it at work too aren't they?
“There’s been a few comments.” He admitted.
"About me being pregnant or the fact I've had my face smashed in?" She asked bitterly.
“Both.” He sighed and reached out for her hand.
"Great. Just what I need!" She sighed. "Go on then, who's saying what?"
He squeezed her hand, “Any guesses?”
"Don't dodge the question. Tell me!" She insisted.
“Why? It’s gossip and you know I’ll gladly reprimand anyone caught gossiping in my department.”