Want.
“Well… here we are. At your shop… End of the line.”
Julian reaches a hand toward you, but it never lands, hovering just above your shoulder. Before you can lean into his warmth, he pulls his hand back and looks sadly down at you. He leans forward, pressing his lips to one cheek, then the other, and it’s all you can do not to pull him into your arms and continue what you’d started on the dock.
“Thank you, my dear,” Julian begins again, “The time we spent together, however brief… It mattered to me.”
He’s saying his goodbye, you realize, but you aren’t finished. Not yet.
“And it mattered to me, too! ” You say, louder than you’d intended. Julian looks taken aback for a moment, and you take this as an opportunity to continue. “You never asked me, you know.”
“Asked you what?”
“What I want.”
Julian looks perplexed, brow furrowing even further as you laugh softly.
“You said it doesn’t matter what you want,” You begin to explain, “But you never thought to ask me what I want.” You take a step towards the doctor, closing the space between the two of you. A blush creeps up Julian’s neck as you place your hands on his chest, lightly gripping his jacket and keeping him close to you.
“Well? Aren’t you going to ask me?” You whisper, and when you are given no response, you lean forward, lips brushing against his neck.
Julian’s breath catches in his throat as you continue your ministrations, all of his boldness from earlier in the day gone. He finally brings himself to reply, saying, “Yes, I- What do you want?”
You press your lips once more to the base of his neck, pulling back to look up at him, and you smile sadly. “I want you… to let me make my own decisions about what’s good for me. I want you to do things that make you happy. I want you to get your memories back, and I want to help you do that. But most of all? I want you, Julian.”
For a moment, his expression glimmers with something akin to hope. It’s gone just a quickly as it came, and he looks away, but does not move from out of your arms. He sighs deeply.
“I told you, all I’ll do is bring you pain, and-”
“You think that a future with you would cause me pain, but I know that a future without you would be… unbearable. Please, Julian.” You bury your face into his chest, bringing him as close to you as you possibly can. “I just want you.”
Slowly, slowly, you feel his arms snake around you until he is hugging you just as tightly. The two of you stand like that for a long while, neither willing to let go, neither noticing the door behind you opening just a crack.
Asra did not hear the entire conversation, but he heard enough. He looks from you to Julian, an odd but undeniable pain in his chest. After another moment, he closes the door as quietly as he can, hoping that you and Julian both get what you want.
