Been thinking about Shadow… having some thoughts… surprisingly.
I’ve decided to take many creative liberties with Shadow on this blog — particularly, his “canon” / history. The most glaring change is that he and Maria never formed a bond.
During their time aboard the ARK, Shadow and Maria were two ships passing in the night. Parallel but never intersecting. A combination of Maria’s illness and the scientists’ gruelling regiment for Shadow kept them apart. The only true interaction they had was before Shadow even first opened his eyes: the gift of a name. “But a shadow points you in the direction of the light…!”
Gerald knew that Maria’s death was a certainty. A wise man knows how to read the writing on the wall — but a desperate man will turn away from it. Hope is what inspired Shadow, a living manifestation of the word. It wasn’t enough. Because of this, two things happened:
Shadow was modelled after Maria. More specifically, her soul. His heart, the very thing that makes Shadow who he is, is a monument to a little girl’s hopes and dreams. Her kindness. Her thirst for knowledge. Her laughter and snaggle toothed smile, full of light. It is one in the same with Emerl and the source of his “dangerous purity”.
Gerald implanted false memories of Maria into Shadow. This was a means to an end for his eventual revenge, yes, but it was also a way to ensure Maria’s living legacy. Gerald knew his death wasn’t far behind, as it comes for all. But he couldn’t stand the idea of his granddaughter being forgotten. She deserved to live. And if she couldn’t, then let her live in Shadow. Let Shadow touch the earth and feel the grass and let Maria feel it through him. Let him feel the rain and wind, taste snow on his tongue, all for her. Let her live.
When Shadow confronts Black Doom on the comet, the video that plays during the climax of the story is different. Instead of Maria’s smiling face, it’s an extended cut of Gerald’s execution. In it, he reveals these truths — that Shadow is not a weapon, he is a beating, bleeding heart. But if G.U.N wants him to kill so badly, then that is what he will do. Just not for them. For Maria. Gerald asks for forgiveness before the guns fire.
The weight of it all comes crashing onto Shadow. Learning that Maria was a real girl, but not the one he knew. That he actually didn’t know her at all. Her smile, so clear in his mind, reduced to ash.
When Shadow destroys the comet and his father, he also destroys himself. He becomes something new. How horrifying. How freeing.
















