TeamTouchGrass

Debunking fandom conspiracies 🍵

[teamtouchgrass]

There’s something really specific about the way CaptRegina types that I’ve always thought was weird.

She is regularly leaving a space before punctuation. Here are some examples.

I noticed the ✨mysterious✨ CAA anon seems to have the same weird typing quirk.

Here are some examples:

And from a quick 5 min scroll down her favorite cat crony’s blog, I can see a few other “anons” with the same quirk!

Isn’t that soooo interesting?? 😉

It’s clear as day from the topics and phrasing that Regina sends anon asks to her friends, reblogs them, and uses that to pretend like her conspiracies have more traction with people than they actually do.

Then you throw in these weird punctuation quirks and it’s like icing on top of the confirmation cake lmao. Thanks, Regina, for always making it so easy to spot your bullshit! 😘

[clairehadenough]

There are a lot of anons in my inbox about yesterday. Some really sweet ones from people who were excited to see Chris and Alba.…and then the other kind.

You’ll notice I haven’t acknowledged the delulus in ages. It’s usually more fun to ignore them and let them fight with reality on their own. But between the asks I got and the mistake I made of checking a few of their blogs to laugh at the meltdowns, I guess I need to say something.

First: the predictions😆

“He’s coming with Scott/He won’t be wearing a ring/She won’t be there because she is banned from entering the US/ and my favorite SHE IS NEVER SEEN IN MASS😂

And then what happened?

Chris showed up with his wife, wearing his wedding ring, looking happy. Alba looked absolutely STUNNING. The silver Zuhair Murad, the red Elie Saab ughhh gorgeous 🤤. The designers themselves posted her and the comments everywhere are praising her. But apparently we’re supposed to believe everyone hates it. Sure.

So now that every prediction failed, we’re back to the fake baby conspiracy, and the most unhinged thing I saw was someone claiming Alba “changed her body” to support the “just had a baby” lie.

How completely fucked up in the head do you have to be to think that’s a normal thing to say about anyone?

Their favourite line now is “we’ll believe it when Chris says it with his lips.” Bitch he said with his lips that he was married and you still denied it. So let’s not pretend that’s the issue😂

Also, who the fuck do you think you are? Why would Chris and Alba need to prove anything to your sorry asses? They don’t owe you confirmation, statements, baby photos, or evidence of their private life.

Normal people saw the news months ago, said “good for them,” and moved on. Meanwhile you have spent weeks upon weeks trying to prove that a married couple’s baby isn’t real.

That’s not fandom opinion. That’s just sad.

Anyway.

The Oscars happened.

You were wrong as usual.

They looked happy.

Alba looked incredible…

…and you can all stay pressed 🥰

[thelonesomequeen]

[teamtouchgrass]

Hahahahah it’s truly the “we’ll believe it when he says it himself” for me. Oh like how he was lying about being married because he never confirmed it? And then he did. But he was still lying because he never said her name? And then he did. But he was still lying because because because… [insert some other bullshit made up reason]

Now rinse and repeat the same crap about their kid. Don’t worry, when he eventually confirms it himself, they’ll find another reason to deny. Rinse and repeat! 💀🤣

[clairehadenough]

Enjoy your win while you still can. It won’t last long

Lmao 😂 I definitely don’t consider a couple going to a social event a win baby, but you thinking it is tells us how much of a loser you are🙊

[thelonesomequeen]

“It won’t last long” sounds a lot like “they’re gonna break up any day now” for the last three years 🤣🤣🤣🧜🏻‍♀️

[clairehadenough]

Remember ✨ JULY ✨ ?

[thelonesomequeen]

But they SAW the BUA, okay?! 🧜🏻‍♀️

[clairehadenough]

😆😆 ahhh good times 🥹

[callmecath1]

GUYS! There is a protocol to follow, don’t forget the ✨window ✨

[clairehadenough]

We were all freezing waiting for that window to close 😆

[teamtouchgrass]

Can you even win a competition that wasn’t happening in the first place? Loooool they stay telling on themselves 24/7!

[teamtouchgrass]

The fandom was truly fed this weekend! Finally catching up on all the pics and vids tonight. Chris looked amazing. His Downey reunion was awkward but cute. Alba was stunning in BOTH dresses. This was the first time I was seeing any pics of her post-baby (maybe it’s the first time for all of us, I haven’t been super plugged in lately) and she genuinely has a glow about her. I’m happy for the Evan’s family!

Of course though, right on schedule, there were also the predictable meltdowns. Going through the tags is hilarious. A bunch of blogs are new (to me) from the last time I ventured into the tags, presumably some delulus on their 47th blog iteration STILL insisting everything the Evans couple did during Oscar night was PROOF!1! that it’s all fake. It astonishes me and cracks me up in equal measure that they are STILL going and still recycling the same tired excuses to defend their conspiracies. Truly Cumberbatch 2.0 lmaoooo

Now that the delulus have ZERO sway to influence opinions and are just arguing with the walls by themselves, all of their ranting and raving is just purely funny to me. The long essays listing out every detail of the Evans’ mannerisms, arrival time, departure time, outfits, seating etc etc as their PROOF, when if the exact opposite happened for all those details, you know they’d list out all that same shit again to argue the same points 💀 Truly comedians of all time.

[clairehadenough]

My beautiful baby turned 1 today🥹

She had the best birthday party and ate cake for the first time ever😅

I hope her dad and I are doing it right. Raising a human comes with so much responsibility but equally so much love to give🥲

[thelonesomequeen]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY C! Love from your aunties Ariel and Pascal!

[clairehadenough]

Best aunties ever 🥰 When she grows up I’ll show her all the love and excitement you’ve given her pictures (that her mom kept bombarding you with 🙈😂) since she was a newborn 🥲

[teamtouchgrass]

Aww happy birthday to her! Time seriously flies!!! 🥹

[thelonesomequeen]

Not necessarily. This was probably SENT to them, in which case nobody sent the marriage license. But we’ll never know for sure. // So you think someone was willing to leak the birth certificate but not the wedding certificate?

Different people, different morals. 🧜‍♀️

[teamtouchgrass]

I think it’s also two entirely different circumstances. I want to be clear that I don’t agree with someone leaking the birth certificate on TMZ, as that’s a major privacy violation.

That being said, if you’re the type of person to leak stuff like this, why would you leak a marriage certificate when the celeb themselves confirmed they are married? There’s no story to break with that. It’s not news. Chris said he got married. His entire circle also confirmed it. Going through the effort to dig up and share the marriage certificate doesn’t gain a publication any kind of relevant “exclusive” on a story that isn’t breaking news to anyone.

Leaking a celeb birth certificate and breaking that story before anyone else does drive significant traffic to their site. So it shouldn’t be surprising why a publication would not bother with the marriage certificate but bothered with the birth certificate. (Again, not defending a leak like this, just explaining why it’s different)

[alexa-santi-author]

No one cares if a conspiracy theory gets disproven multiple times. It’s not a story after the first time.

I’m thinking of when there was a weird rumor that Lorde was actually a 30-year-old woman pretending to be a teenager, and she provided her birth certificate to show she’s the age she says she is.

Once the proof is out there, no one cares about the conspiracy theories that try and disprove the proof. Like, only the most obsessed people gave a damn in the first place, they’re really not going to care if your “debunking” gets debunked. Again

[doctortwhohiddles]

Yup, that's pretty much it.

The Cumberbatch septics have the birth certificates of all 3 kids and are still denying they exist. It doesn't matter how much evidence you show them, their confirmation bias forbids them to accept reality.

[teamtouchgrass]

1000%. At this point, the only people who still use the lack of a marriage certificate as any kind of “gotcha” point are the same people for whom seeing that certificate wouldn’t change their mind anyway.

[sunnywiththescoop]

I don't think Chris or his team chose TMZ to announce their news. Seems as tho someone leaked the info alongwith the birth certificate to them to make some $$$.

Yes, TMZs habit of paying for sources is part of why it’s considered unethical journalism.

Money is an incentive to lie, break laws and violate privacy. 

[doctortwhohiddles]

Whoever agreed to leak the birth certificate is going to need to money paid by TMZ because they're very likely to lose their job over it. And they might even face legal consequences.

They didn't need to post the birth certificate. Just say the baby's name and leave it at that. That alone is already a dick move tbh. Not when the parents didn't consent.

[teamtouchgrass]

I agree. TMZ took it down not long after they posted it so I’m guessing whoever leaked it to them is likely from the county clerk’s office and is likely gonna be so fired. As they should be.

[thelonesomequeen]

Not necessarily. This was probably SENT to them, in which case nobody sent the marriage license. But we’ll never know for sure. // So you think someone was willing to leak the birth certificate but not the wedding certificate?

Different people, different morals. 🧜‍♀️

[teamtouchgrass]

I think it’s also two entirely different circumstances. I want to be clear that I don’t agree with someone leaking the birth certificate on TMZ, as that’s a major privacy violation.

That being said, if you’re the type of person to leak stuff like this, why would you leak a marriage certificate when the celeb themselves confirmed they are married? There’s no story to break with that. It’s not news. Chris said he got married. His entire circle also confirmed it. Going through the effort to dig up and share the marriage certificate doesn’t gain a publication any kind of relevant “exclusive” on a story that isn’t breaking news to anyone.

Leaking a celeb birth certificate and breaking that story before anyone else does drive significant traffic to their site. So it shouldn’t be surprising why a publication would not bother with the marriage certificate but bothered with the birth certificate. (Again, not defending a leak like this, just explaining why it’s different)

[clairehadenough]

After all the excitement has a bit winded down, I just want to say that I’m so proud of the blogs on here who knew about the pregnancy before any of us did, and yet didn’t run to Tumblr to divulge all the details just to feel important and relevant.

Even though they had actual facts, and weren’t just speculating based only on a woman’s body and how fat she looked or didn’t look, they just shared publicly what needed to be shared. The extra details, they shared privately with blogs they trusted.

I’m looking mainly at you @certifiedcevanslover and @archivecevans and of course my girls at @thelonesomequeen 😌 Loved all the excitement we got to share with every confirmation you guys got🤣 and special mention to my boo @teamtouchgrass 😉😉

What an adventure!

Welcome to the world baby Alma💕

[teamtouchgrass]

Ayyyy 💜

I feel like I’m just getting into all the excitement because I’ve been tied up with work all day but it’s certainly all very exciting news!

One extra thing I want to acknowledge is that until today, media outlets were not reporting on any of the pregnancy speculation. Even when there was public evidence across social media that Alba was pregnant, it wasn’t reported on by any publications until today, when TMZ shared their scoop.

I know it’s fashionable for conspiracists and others in denial to accuse blogs who aren’t afraid of reality of being part of the “PR” campaign, whatever the fuck that means lol. But if fans were part of any actual PR teams, the speculation would have been publicized much sooner in real celeb news outlets.

This is happening, whether certain people want to accept it or not. Congrats to Chris and Alba and also shoutout to all the fellow fans who are happy for them.

[teamtouchgrass]

TMZ doesn’t post the marriage certificate: ITS FAKE!!! TMZ NEVER CONFIRMED IT!!!!

TMZ posts the birth certificate: ITS FAKE!!!!! LOOK AT THE SEAL!!

lmaooo delulus never change 🤣 confirmation bias at its finest. Whatever happens or doesn’t happen is always PROOF11!1 to them that their delusions are real

Anyway congratulations to the Baptista Evans family on their new addition! 🥹🥰

[doctortwhohiddles]

We went through the same thing in the Cumberbatch fandom. 3 times to be exact. The septics all saw the birth certificates and every time they declared it fake. Patty even invented a complete BS story to explain why a fake pregnancy ended up with a real birth certificate.

[clairehadenough]

That’s what amazes me. Can’t they see that they all have exactly the same behaviour which proves the problem is THEM? 😆

[doctortwhohiddles]

That would require self-awareness. Something they do not possess. At all.

[teamtouchgrass]

They are doing similar shit in Henry Cavill’s fandom too. These fandom conspiracists all move the same. Embarrassed for all of them but sadly not surprised.

[teamtouchgrass]

TMZ doesn’t post the marriage certificate: ITS FAKE!!! TMZ NEVER CONFIRMED IT!!!!

TMZ posts the birth certificate: ITS FAKE!!!!! LOOK AT THE SEAL!!

lmaooo delulus never change 🤣 confirmation bias at its finest. Whatever happens or doesn’t happen is always PROOF11!1 to them that their delusions are real

Anyway congratulations to the Baptista Evans family on their new addition! 🥹🥰

[teamtouchgrass]

Miss your posts and insights. Do u think you will come back?

Hey anon- sorry for the late reply. Thank you for the sweet message! I’ve had my busiest work year of my entire career in 2025 so it’s meant way less time for tumblr activities.

I’m glad to see that the CE conspiracists no longer have the same chokehold on the fandom that they used to. So along with just being too busy, I also don’t feel the same need to debunk every lie and hypocrisy anymore. Those types will never go away- every single fandom has overinvested weirdos who take things too far. But they’ve at least dug themselves deep enough holes at this point that no one takes them seriously anymore.

The damage they’ve caused is still very much there. And we still see them and their 5848382 sock puppet accounts spamming comments across all social media with their conspiracies and slander. But they lost any credibility to convince new people of their lies.

I’ve considered expanding this blog to focus on fandom conspiracies more broadly, since it’s a topic that interests me. But I’d need to stop ✨suffering from success✨ at work so I’d have enough time to post again lol.

[clairehadenough]

try to get laid instead of wasting your time on here

OMG @thelonesomequeen @teamtouchgrass

🤐 🫣

[teamtouchgrass]

Oh this is hilarious for so many reasons lmfaoooo. Here you go, anon. Gold star!

[archivecevans]

Why won’t you share?????

Because of people like this! If this fandom was like any other normal fandom we would be all happy sharing everything but if we are getting this type of asks I don’t want to imagine what Chris and Alba (and their families) will get if we share everything.

[thelonesomequeen]

This.

And it would be one thing if these jerks left their out of line comments on tumblr, but they don’t. They take it to Chris and Alba’s front door. Same with the people connected to them. They comment non stop on their social media and harass them and that behavior is not okay. It’s unhinged and there’s too many people that need to seek out professional help if their feelings about a celebrity are THIS strong. It’s not normal and it’s not ok. 🦎

[teamtouchgrass]

I was getting asks well over a year ago with gruesome descriptions of violence against Alba if she were pregnant and I never even speculated about a pregnancy. I know many of you were as well. And here we are now with solid confirmation out there- eventually it’s gonna be fully obvious to the public but until then, there’s genuine risk of causing harm and harassment to real people by sharing names and screenshots. Speaking for myself, I definitely don’t want to be the reason that kind of traffic and cruel vitriol is directed at another person.

I don’t blame anyone for not sharing the full details of whatever they’ve seen regarding these pregnancy confirmations. And I also don’t blame anyone for not wanting to believe until solid proof is out there for everyone to see. That’s fair too.

[archivecevans]

1, 2, 3, 4 in less than two weeks 😂🥂

[certifiedcevanslover]

🥂🥂🥂

[thelonesomequeen]

[clairehadenough]

Wait for me wait for me, I want to celebrate too🥹😂

[teamtouchgrass]

[thememedaddy]

[clairehadenough]

I’m on maternity leave. Is that a problem?/

MaTeRnItY LeAvE sure jan. your kid was born in december it’s fucking july. At least check facts before you lie

Not sure how to reply to this catastrophic ask.

Should I worry about them tracking when my daughter was born (they’re wrong, it’s November but close enough)?

OR

Should I laugh in UK maternity leave?

Either way anon, you missed an excellent opportunity to keep your mouth shut 😂

[thelonesomequeen]

Do people not know women and maternity leaves are respected in other countries? 😫🦎

[clairehadenough]

These people don’t know there ARE other countries 🤡

[teamtouchgrass]

This is coming from the same crew that takes every opportunity to show their xenophobia so I’m definitely not surprised. “Check facts” LMFAOOOOO. thank you for the chuckle, anon.