just trying to chill @teddybearsneakers - Tumblr Blog

this is very specific to me as an individual but the easiest way I've found of figuring out how much of an ass a doctor is going to be is just to watch their reaction when they take my vitals. how surprised are they by a fat dude having like, textbook-perfect blood pressure, heart rate, and blood oxygenation? if they make a big deal of the numbers being good or look at the sphygmomanometer like it needs maintenance I steel myself for 15 minutes of bullshit. if they just say something blandly positive and move on, I let my guard down by 17½ percent.

soup-mother

grizzled mercenaries are always being like "I'm sick and tired of being a pawn in someone elses game" like their job isn't literally rent-a-pawn

soup-mother

"I hate being a pawn in someone elses game" yeah sure thing grandpa, I'll give you $50 if you move to D4

centrally-unplanned

That is just the mercenary equivalent of feeling "if I have to send one more email I am going to explode" while doing the email job you knowingly consented to doing and probably worked hard to get; it is probably the most relatable thing they could portray!

trans-girl-nausicaa

being able to go to work with hickeys and bite marks on your neck is a human right.

trans-girl-nausicaa

the bosses are allowed creampie while the workers are punished for a simple little hickey. in this essay i will examine sexual politics through the lens of Marxian analysi-

komaedalovemail

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

butterfirefly

for the uninitiated

notbecauseofvictories

SUPER TOP SECRET WORK HACK!!! If you explicitly tell people, "You are an adult and a professional, I trust you to do your job; just keep me in the loop and let me know if there are questions," then thank and/or praise them when they accomplish your mutual goals? they will keep doing things for and with you. Sometimes they will even side with you over other people in the organization, because you've taken the time to establish that baseline respect and trust! hashtag winning or whatever

sonneillonv

I just want to say this can work with kids too, mostly because of the 'respect' thing.

This past month, Parks & Rec has been doing a lot of work on the field adjacent to my school. They have trucks with flatbeds, mowing/tree-cutting/postholing machinery, etc. And when they arrived, I (campus monitor) was told I would need to herd the kids away from the trucks/machinery and basically prevent them from creating a dangerous situation.

So when recess came around and the kids stampeded out the door I held them up and I said (being funny but at the same time serious, you know how it is, kids listen better if you're funny)

"Okay, I know that you're all smart AND mature, right? And talented and good looking? Definitely the smartest and most talented class in this school? (I say this to every class, they're all 'my favorites'.) And because you're SO intelligent and mature, I don't need to actually TELL you that these guys have vehicles and machinery that you need to stay clear of, right? Because I know you figured that out already, and I also know that YOU know how sad I would be if any of you were run over, or squashed, or had a pole fall on you. I would be SO SAD, like, I would probably have to lie down on the floor and cry. So you're not going to make me cry, right? I can trust you to stay away from the trucks and machines no matter where they are on the field? Because you're wonderful and amazing? My favorites? My inspiration?"

And they're laughing at me of course, because I'm being so dramatic. Some of them are "Yes, and-"ing my dramatics and inventing more involved mourning processes I should undertake if any of them get run over. Some of them are yelling at me that they are NOT mature yet and they are VERY STUPID and I should know this.

It's been three weeks. We had one conversation about it. None of them have gone anywhere near the trucks. This is actually in excess of the typical elementary-schooler's working memory and I'm very proud of them. I haven't had to blow the whistle at ONE person for getting too close even when the trucks were literally 40 feet from the actual playground.

"I know I can trust you to do this", even when phrased with humor, is like a magic key that unlocks teamwork+cooperation.

onbearfeet

I usually phrased it to middle-schoolers as, "I was a weird artist before I was a teacher, so I don't understand how children work, really. So I am going to treat you guys like adults unless and until you give me a reason not to." It's amazing how far they'll go to keep that adult status.

dogpuppy

byjove

things not to say when someone tells you they’re having a baby, from a transgender autistic guy named Algernon who has experienced a lot of trial and error:

Why? I know this is the question you want to ask. You are not allowed to ask it. I’m not sure why it’s frowned upon but you can’t.

You should name it after me. Not funny. No one laughs. A selfish statement that takes the attention off the pregnant party and shifts it to you. This joke is a flop, save it for the next pet they get.

Is it mine? It’s not mine. I have no testicles. If there is a possibility it is yours, they’ll tell you. Probably. No one wants an interrogation in this moment.

meganjoannamadeline

my dear legend Algernon, just "Why?" is actually hilarious and i promise it will be used

byjove

The worst part is that you genuinely want to know why. What is the game plan here…

tiredadventurer

what-even-is-thiss

Executive dysfunction is when there’s gas in the tank but no fuse. Either that or the engine is fine but the breaks don’t work. Or somehow both.

mckitterick

rip-quizilla

genderqueerpositivity

Minnesota’s Giant Rainbow and Leather Pride Flags

June 28, 1998. Both flags measured approximately 50 feet wide and 75 feet long.

ryuutchi

Friendly reminder that the leather flag predates almost every other flag. We owe this community to leather daddies and kinksters

nightmarechamillian

In the era of corporate sanitization never forget it was leather daddies and S&M folks who protected some of the earliest pride parades.

glamourweaver

Three years after that last comment and the corporate backers are fleeing as the moment the political tide turned - the kinksters aren’t.