Pain vs Presence
We miss out on NOTHING when we follow Jesus’ call. He is not a consolation prize. He is everything.
We naturally operate out of pain. All of the suffering of our past cumulates into who we are now. We become our pain. We will project what’s in our heart. When we’ve been hurt, we can’t help but project the pain. The heart speaks through the mouth. We can only give away what we have.
We supernaturally operate out of His presence. All of the pleasure we build in His presence forms our new identity. His presence gives purpose to our pain. His presence is our purpose. To love Him. To spend time with Him. To be best friends with Him. This is why we exist. We become a living friendship. People won’t be able to explain it but we’ll have constant peace...even when we’re in debt with huge bills to pay. We’ll have uncanny pleasure, even when we’re tired, didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, our tornado of a little brother is pressing every button he can, our boss berates us daily, and our best friend slept with our significant other.
When we live in this mindset, all of our past pain will be healed and redeemed - our pain will be used for a positive purpose. It’s not pain for pain’s sake. It’s pain to grow us. When a bone breaks, it becomes stronger than ever before in that area. When we get sick, our immune system can remember the invading bacteria or virus so next time it will be ready. When we’ve been betrayed over and over and over, we have the opportunity to learn forgiveness. When we have enemies repeatedly hurt us and try to break us in every way, we learn how to love despite having every reason to hate our attackers or want to hurt them.
It is because Bruce faced an unjust tragedy that Batman was born. Because two of “Gotham’s best” (the kindest, most generous people in the city) were murdered in cold blood, he took a stand against all injustice in the city. When Joseph was in Potipher’s household, he knew how to manage well. This prepared him for managing the entire kingdom of Egypt. When David practiced decimating lions and rushing bears in a fierce frenzy of adrenaline, this prepared him to take on giants and armies.
Our normal disposition is to operate from pain. We live out our trauma. Whatever happened to us, that hurt will spill over onto whoever we talk with and interact with. It leaks into our children. It defines our friendships. It is the core of who we are until we heal. Why? Because it becomes the entirety of our focus. Just as a broken leg would demand attention, so does a hurting heart. Or more literally, if we had a hole in our left atria, this would be the defining characteristic which holds us back, which doctors would use to remember us by - this would slow down our entire life.
Yet, we were not meant to operate from pain; we were made to operate from His presence. We were designed to make every decision from a place of friendship with God. When we’re married, we always ask our spouse what they think before we make a major decision and typically check in about the day-to-day: “Whaddya want for dinner? How was your day? How are you? What’s up? Whaddya wanna do?” How much more so would we live in constant friendship with our Creator, Savior, Father, Friend, and God?!
We’re used to living life as a sullied plastic cup filled with motor oil: anything that comes into contact with us gets blackened and oily too. Anything which is near us receives the odor of that oil. It’s a mess! But when we are restored to right relationship with God, He fills us with His presence. He justifies us: He dumps out the cup and fills it with water. Our very nature is changed. But we still constantly struggle with sin, we struggle with choosing what is right. There are still oil droplets in the water murking the water. We often choose to be filled with more crap from the world because we miss it: we’ve grown accustomed to it. We feel safe in the ways we’ve been taught. It easy to stick to your training than to choose what is right. But God will fill us with water as much as we could possibly want. He will fill us again and again and again no matter how many times we waffle. Then, finally, when we leave this earth we will experience glorification: part 3 of salvation. This is when our cups are submerged into a pool of water. All oil dissipates. Even the odor which leeched into the cheap plastic will be replaced. It is completely and forever ridden of all oil.
Unfortunately, we can’t see this perfectly. God’s water has soap-like properties and leaves each dish with a fresh fragrance. However, beyond all of this, we’re used to oil spreading: like a melted chocolate bar, it’s messy and gets everywhere. But God’s water doesn’t just clean us when we receive it. We receive, are filled up, and are told to pour that into someone else’s cup. So we pour out, we’re refilled, and we pour out again. This water can exponentially clean up others as well. One drop of oil into heavenly water will barely cloud it, but one drop of water into oil can clean up most of a murky glass.
Pain leads to more pain unless it is fleshed out, unraveled, and healed. Anger, rage, sadness - all these soul pains come from a lie: God wasn’t there to protect me, no one loves me, everyone rejects me, nobody ever pays attention to me. All these need a remedy of truth: it is the only thing which can heal us. The problem is we with our greek mindsets often think of truth as ethereal facts/lofty opinions when in fact truth is a person. We’ve interacted with so many liars it’s hard to believe truth could exist as a reality from a person. But Jesus Himself created the universe, created us, and lives above everything which we are: what He says is always true. When He speaks, the world will reshape itself around what His words are: “Let there be light. Be healed. You are forgiven”. Laws of nature are broken in order to make His words true. Laws of our heart are broken in order to make His words true. He is reality. He is truth.
Live to know His presence. Live to be with Him at every step. Follow His lead in all you do. Show others how He heals. every pain, every past trauma. He is good in everything. Live to the fullest: not despite your pain and past, but because of it. He will use and redeem every bit of it.
Until next time, let Him lead.
