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Not today Justin
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@tehesamueltehe
☆ about me: samuel 20 spain sophia’s husband trans(ftm) taylor swift sabrina carpenter nerd spiderman conan gray enthusiast katseye jade dc comics wicked ariana grande superache is my life louis tomlinson batman role model comics romantic movies gracie abrams scarlet witch olivia rodrigo the archer harry styles red dead redemption two superman musicals marvel dispatch cortis
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love from afar (pt.1) — daniela avanzini
summary: daniela is one of the most popular girls at school, and you’ve been painfully in love with her from a distance since the start.
warnings: angst (with eventual fluff), slowburn, yearning, popular! dani x loser!femreader trope.
a/n: does anyone want the next part? 😛
i mostly wrote this for an anon (thank you for the request i hope you like it!! i’m sorry it took me this long to finish) and @luluvrs <33
you fall in love with daniela on a casual weekday.
it’s not dramatic. it’s not sudden. it builds up quietly, achingly.
it starts in the first week of university. you notice her in your psychology class laughing with her friends, hazel eyes lighting up with happiness and thick curls falling over her shoulders.
you told yourself it was just a small crush. that it would go away in a few days or weeks.
unfortunately ever since you’ve only fell deeper, sitting three rows behind her in class and having to watch her from afar.
even if you’ve never actually talked with her, you still felt like you already knew her.
from the start you’ve felt her presence draw you in, and you’ve noticed everything. how she makes everyone smile and feel included. how she speaks to others like she genuinely cares. how she holds the door open for everyone.
daniela knew everyone, and got invited everywhere. she was popular, but not in that mean way people can expect. she’s kind and sweet in a way that makes your chest feel too full.
you were the complete oposite: mostly focused on school, pretty awkward and shy in social situations, and you didn’t have too many friends.
to you it wasn’t a big deal. you liked the quiet life you had built.
until it came to daniela. she was the exception.
for once in your life it wasn’t enough to love someone like this. you wanted daniela to notice you.
—
your professor announces the project at the best possible time. only three weeks into the semester.
“in the next classes you’ll work on a project that’s gonna be presented by the end of next month. it’s a good opportunity to show competence and get to know each other better. you’ll work in pairs, i’ll choose them.” he informs casually.
your heart starts beating faster at that. you’ve never really liked group projects, mostly having to do all the work every time.
“y/n… and daniela.”
it feels like everything stops. your eyes widen, suddenly awfully aware of what this could mean.
daniela turns in her seat, scanning the room. her hazel eyes land on you.
to your surprise, she smiles. it’s small. polite. curious. it feels like being struck by lightning.
the first time you actually speak to her, is only a few days later. your voice trembles.
“hi.” you barely manage.
“hi.” she says back, softer than you expected. up close, she smells like something clean and warm. like laundry and vanilla.
“uhm… i guess we’re partners.” you mumble a bit awkwardly.
“i guess we are.” she smiles again, and it’s not the distant smile she gives acquaintances. it’s focused. it’s for you.
your chest aches. don’t read into it. don’t make this into something it’s not.
still, the feeling only grows stronger when you start studying together every day.
library afternoons. coffee runs. shared google docs. she starts saving you a seat in class. you start texting about the project, and then about other things.
she asks you questions about the project, about your major, about where you’re from. and she listens. really listens. nodding. maintaining eye contact like what you’re saying matters.
you’re not used to that. you’re used to fading into the background. being the quiet one. the sweet one. the easy one. but daniela treats your words like they’re something to hold.
—
the worst is when you start noticing more the way other people look at her.
the way a girl from her friend group loops an arm through hers. the way a guy in class leans a little too close when he talks to her. the way she smiles at them: warm, easy, effortless.
the same way she smiles at you. that’s the worst part, because she’s kind to everyone. you’re not special.
you try to remind yourself of that when she texts you at midnight and asks if you’re awake.
when you’re on call, and she whispers sleepily “i don’t know what i’d do without you”.
it never works. because how are you supposed to react, when what you feel is anything but casual?
—
it’s worse when the project presentation creeps closer, because this has an expiration date. you both know it.
once the class ends, what reason will she have to keep choosing you? she has friends. options. a life that doesn’t revolve around library tables and shared deadlines.
you have her. you hate how unbalanced and unfair that feels, even though you shouldn’t expect anything.
the night before you present, you’re both still in the library. it’s nearly empty.
she looks tired. her hair is messy. she’s wearing one of those oversized sweaters again, sleeves covering half her hands.
“can i be honest?” she asks suddenly.
your heart stutters. “yeah.” you nod.
“i was kind of nervous when i saw we were paired up.” she admits.
“oh.” you swallow.
“not in a bad way.” she rushes. “i just… i didn’t know you. and you’re quiet. i thought maybe you didn’t like me.”
“what?” you blink.
“you never talked to me. i figured i was just… not your type of person.” she shrugs, looking almost shy.
the irony is cruel. you’ve loved her in silence for weeks and she thought you disliked her.
“i didn’t talk to you because i was nervous.” you admit softly.
“nervous? why?” she asks, confused.
because you’re everything. because you’re bright and kind and i don’t know how to stand next to you without feeling small. you want to say it all, but it sounds stupid. too vulnerable admitting to someone you barely know.
“i’m just bad at starting conversations.” you say instead. it isn’t a lie, just not the whole truth either.
she studies you for a long moment. really studies you, like she’s doubting if you’re telling the truth.
“i’m glad we got paired up.” she says finally.
“me too.” you smile, even though it hurts.
—
presentation day comes and goes in a blur. the both of you wait outside the lecture room, your hands shaking slightly. you hope daniela doesn’t notice.
you both do well. the professor praises your analysis. she squeezes your arm when you sit down.
“we killed that.” she whispers, grinning. you pretend your chest doesn’t tighten at that.
after class, people crowd around her. congratulating. laughing. pulling her into their circle again.
you stand there awkwardly for a second too long before slipping out quietly. you don’t expect her to notice.
“hey!” you hear behind you. she’s jogging to catch up, bag bouncing against her hip.
“you were just going to leave?” she asks, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.
“i figured you were busy.” you shrug lightly.
“i’m not too busy for you.” she frowns. it’s such a simple sentence, but it undoes you.
you look at her. for a terrifying second, you consider telling her everything. how you’ve been in love with her since the second week of class. how every smile feels like falling in love with her all over again. how you don’t know how to go back to being strangers. but the fear is louder than longing.
“so…” she says, a little softer now. “just because the project’s done doesn’t mean we stop talking. right?”
your heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of your chest. she’s giving you an opening to talk more and become a part of her life, instead of feeling invisible all the time.
“yeah… right.” you say with a short nod.
and this time, when she smiles, it feels different. not distant, not polite, but almost hopeful.
chuck timely and the hourglass
who the FUCK is chuck timely and what has he done with my darling saintlaurentcowboy
How it felt seeing Lara raj, Manon Bannerman and Daniela Avanzini for the first time
AND SOPHIA LAFORTEZA😼
i’m so damn tired about what concerts are becoming, music shouldn’t be a fucking privilege, it’s insane to call them “world tour” when you are having 50 dates on usa and then just visit london and three more cities and call it europe leg and if i want to go and see my favorite artists i have to plan everything, the trip, the hotel literally everything for a concert that’s not gonna happen until THE NEXT YEAR and spend a lot of money for it. and well don’t get me started on so much artists that don’t even give a thought to most of asia and so much other countries.
MAKE MUSIC AFFORDABLE AGAIN
guys i’m mourning manon like she is my dead wife it’s not funny anymore 💔
i still can’t believe that in a week i’ll be seeing harry styles again im gonna die
i literally can’t stop listening to greengreen it’s so damn good
also i’m mad cause i didn’t get james in any of the pc 😾
the very first night — sophia laforteza
summary: you and sophia had a complicated history, and it seems like no matter what you do she can’t get out of your head.
warnings: angst, breakup, yearning, no happy ending or comfort, etc.
a/n: hi i suck at writing angst but i tried my best !! hope you guys are well 😛 tags: @tehesamueltehe
now playing: the very first night - taylor swift
it had been months since you and sophia broke up.
months of every song reminding you of her, your chest feeling too heavy when someone mentioned her name, and looking through old messages.
late at night was the worst, when you had nothing to distract yourself with and everything you thought about always ran back to her.
you missed her so much that it hurt. it seemed impossible to move on, and it started to affect your daily life too.
“come on y/n. you haven’t been out of your apartment in like a week.” your best friend manon sighed, clearly worried.
“i’m fine. really.” you said quickly, putting on a small smile.
it had gotten easier each time to lie to your loved ones and pretend you were okay. still, manon always saw through you.
she gave you a skeptical look, clearly not convinced.
“please? we’ll leave as soon as you want.” she promised, her tone softer now than before.
you looked into her brown deer-like eyes, which were full of worry.
how could you even say no to her? you also knew deep down that manon was right. you had avoided everyone and everything, staying in your room all day for a long time.
you knew you couldn’t keep doing it and that it wasn’t good for you. besides you didn’t want to disappoint your friends anymore.
“fine. yeah, i’ll come.” you finally nodded.
manon’s face lit up immediately, her arms wrapping around you in a short hug.
“thank you. i can take you home afterwards if you want, too.” she offered kindly.
you smiled slightly, immediately softening into the hug.
—
you regretted agreeing to come to the party almost immediately.
it was too many people, too loud music, and it really made you want to disappear as quickly as you arrived.
manon stayed close to you the entire time. it was like she saw right through you. she probably did.
“see? not so bad.” she said gently, like she tried to convince you about it.
you almost wanted to laugh.
instead you nodded lightly, but your eyes were already drifting over the room, scanning like they always did in loud spaces.
you didn’t even realize who you were looking for, until you saw her.
sophia.
it felt like your heart dropped down to your shoes. you stood there frozen while people brushed past you like nothing had happened.
she looked the same. that was the worst part.
her black hair fell gently over her shoulders as she was listening to something another person said, smiling softly.
and just like that, you were back to the very first night you met.
—
you hadn’t even meant to meet her that first night.
manon had dragged you out then too, to some stupid crowded place, with too many people and too much noise.
you had been trying to leave early when you bumped into her, drink sloshing over the rim of your cup.
“shit… i’m so sorry.” you rushed out, already panicking.
“no, no, that was my fault.” she laughed, and it was so easy and warm, like she already knew you.
you remembered how you stared for a second too long. how she tilted her head, smiling sweetly like she found it amusing instead of weird.
“i’m sophia.” she uttered out softly.
and that was it. that was all it took.
you talked for hours after that. about nothing, about everything. it felt easy in a way that scared you even then. like something had already started.
—
“y/n? are you okay?” manon’s voice pulled you back, but it was too late. sophia had already seen you.
you quickly looked away from her, nodding again. “yeah. of course.” you murmured.
but manon didn’t believe it. of course she didn’t. her eyes followed to where your gaze drifted away from.
“oh…” she breathed, immediately going quiet after spotting sophia too.
—
the hotel night wasn’t supposed to happen either.
it was late, neither of you wanting to go home yet, wandering streets that felt like they only existed for the two of you.
you ended up checking in almost by accident, like it was a joke. it stopped feeling like that the second you got into your room.
it was quiet in a different way. just the two of you.
you remembered the way she looked at you then. it was like something had shifted, like you’d crossed into something you couldn’t take back.
“we shouldn’t.” you whispered, even as you stepped closer.
“i know.” she murmured softly.
neither of you stopped, and before you knew it her lips were already on yours. it was soft. gentle. like she didn’t wanna rush you.
later, you were tangled in white sheets. the city lights streamed through the curtains as she traced lazy patterns against your skin like she was trying to memorize you.
“i don’t wanna ruin what we have.” you admitted quietly, your head resting on her bare chest.
sophia frowned slightly, looking down at you with a gaze that almost broke you.
“we’ll figure it out. for now just stay.” she muttered, pressing a small kiss on your forehead.
—
“hey.” sophia’s voice could be heard in front of you suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts.
you forced yourself to look at her fully, heart pounding so hard it almost made you dizzy.
“hi.” you said, trying to sound normal. it didn’t. it sounded wrong. too casual and polite after everything that had happened between you.
for a second, neither of you said anything.
then she smiled. it was polite, careful. not the same as before, the one that made you weak in the knees.
“it’s been a while.” she finally stated.
“yeah.” you agreed. “it has.”
manon shifted beside you, sensing it. “i’m gonna grab a drink.” she mumbled, giving you a quick look before slipping away.
you were alone with her, for the first time in months. even if you had wished for this for a long time, it didn’t feel like it was supposed to.
“you look… good.” sophia said hesitantly, like she didn’t know if she was allowed to compliment you anymore. you hated that.
“so do you.” you said awkwardly, fiddling lightly with your fingers.
another pause.
around you, the party kept going. people talking, music playing, glasses clinking.
“i didn’t know you’d be here.” she added.
“uh, yeah. me neither.” you mumbled.
you both knew that wasn’t what she meant.
she shifted her weight, glancing down for a second before looking back up.
“i’ve been meaning to—” she started, but then stopped, like she wasn’t sure if it was worth it anymore.
whatever she was going to say, it was left there unfinished between you too. just like everything else.
you could feel everything. the past, the hotel room, the car rides, every whispered word. it all pressed in, begging to be acknowledged.
but something in her expression had changed. it was subtle, but you knew her well enough to notice it.
like she’d already made peace with something you hadn’t. like she’d already let go.
“i’m glad you’re okay.” she said instead, softer now.
and that’s when it hit you. this wasn’t a reunion, or a second chance.
this was closure. something you both had waited for, but way too late and not nearly enough.
your chest ached at the thought of it.
“i’m glad you’re okay too.” you managed, your voice almost breaking.
the moment got interrupted by someone suddenly calling her name from across the room.
she glanced back, then at you again. for a second, it felt like that night. the hotel, the almost, the what-if.
then it passed. like it always was supposed to do.
“take care, okay?” she said.
“yeah um… you too.” you said as you gave her a small smile, trying to hide the feeling of hurt all over again.
she smiled slightly before walking away. just like she did the first time. like it was easy to after everything you’d had went through.
you didn’t take your eyes off the spot where sophia had been for a while, your drink long forgotten in your hand and her presence nowhere to be seen in the crowd.
manon found you a few minutes later, her expression careful.
“you okay?” manon asked quietly, sensing the tension.
you swallowed, your chest aching in that familiar, unbearable way.
“yeah… yeah i’m fine.” you lied again, but this time, even you didn’t believe it.
because some things can’t come back, no matter how much you missed them.
and you can’t go back in time to change it.
petal . ꕤ 。˚⋆
i would actually kill for her
question no. 1 how did you choose your username when you joined tumblr? athough simple, we are just kicking off the games. expect more moving forward for your host.. the answer is simple. i am asking questions to katsblr.
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@jessaerys @mayzini @chrissv4mp @goodmorningfromthesunn @obtuseoctopus @meichaesplanet @aarcangel @nakylvr @visionsoffutile @yourdecayedfaith @manonz-manz @katsleafed @katsfim @jinseesyou @sznmanon @hrtsevy @jjsmaybank20 @visionoffutile @riris-heart @yearnmachine @luluvrs @daisydolphinn @lafortezasboy @aerienchanted @meganswhxre @herlondonboy @anniesweb @bitchesbrokenpromise @fein4lararaj @ibeenoverseas
the week before getting on this app i saw gracie live for the second time and i was (still am) so so obsessed with her that i had to make her my username :))
SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY (2026) dir. Daniel Cretton
shes so pretty lets all die😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
