I've been thinking a lot about my development as a Loki main in Marvel Rivals over the past week
It literally started with the thought, "I'll just try, I won't even try hard—I'm too dumb for this hero anyway." And I just played, without thinking about the result. Trickster was one of the later heroes in my pool. Trickster was my first Lord that I got not through a series of deliberate matches on him, but simply because. And he still holds the highest MVP of all the heroes I know how to play. And he's battling Gambit for the spot of the only man in my pool (Gambit loses 9 times out of 10, heh). I even had a period when I was angry that I was doing better on him than on the characters that I play with gritting my teeth and constantly looking at the score. All my friends remember my infamous "I want to get MVP on Hela and Phoenix, but I can only get it on you, you horned beast!"
And, as poetic as it may sound, that you just have to do what you know, no matter how it ends — that's what this character taught me. Even when I was in a creative slump, the first ray of light was a Loki sketch I made during my work shift, not expecting a masterpiece, as I usually do. Then I allowed myself to just do it. And then, suddenly, I had the strength to create big, beautiful drawings simply because I'd gotten into the swing of things.
I didn't plan to get attached to him. I didn't plan to write fanfiction, invent another story, or create an OC for interaction. But here I am. For now, without fanfiction or fictional characters and stories. But I have my own story, which exists and will continue to exist.
October 2, 2025. Translated:
"For the first time in two months, my hand trembled to draw something. Without an idea, without remorse, and without any thoughts. A piece of unprintable paper just fell into my hand, and my brain, in an endless stream of jumping from one thing to another, followed by forgetting, fixed on it, yes
Loki from Marvel Rivals in a phoenix skin
Symbolically, I hope"
P.s. Well, maybe I was a bit of a liar when I said I didn't have a character for him. Somewhere in my head and notes, there's my in-game selfsona and a few mini-sketches about how these two constantly bicker, but work together like a well-oiled machine
