I AM a mindreader

Lucas Drake. Son of Tommy Shepherd and Tim Drake. Yeah, I don't know what else to put here. Hunter begged me to join so here I am. Shut up, Hunter. Geez. I'm trying! DON'T TOUCH THE KEYBOARD. GET OFF! I'll be right back...

[dlxm0nds1-deactivated20200523]

[notfuckinghydra-blog]

When you and your rp partner do the thing in an rp without considering all the consequences and it all goes to hell

[byebyebyenaow-deactivated201807]

stop making villains so attractive it makes me question my morals

[superboyjakekent]

“If they knew… they’d understand. Accidents happen. Especially to people with powers. From what I’ve heard, Tommy doesn’t exactly have a clean conscious and Tim slipped himself into the League of Assassins and Council of Spiders back in the day. That’s about as grey area as you can get. Not to mention Red Hood and Dick went on his stint for a while. Damian. And then you throw in Cass… Things happen. And torturing yourself isn’t going to change those things. Let us help you. Help you move past it and help make sure it never happens again.” 

[telepathictease]

Luc took a shaky breath and slowly allowed himself to actually meet Jake’s gaze. He’d been scared to before. What if he saw the disgust and hatred he had for himself reflected back at him by someone he loved?

But that’s not what he saw there now.

“You really won’t ditch me?”

[superboyjakekent]

“Sorry to say that you’re stuck with me for life. Whether you like it or not.” He offered him a grin, though he was still a bit wary of Lucas going back to hating himself and running away at any second. 

[telepathictease]

"What happens if I get worse? If I change?" Luc replied, eyes still focused intently on Jake's.

[superboyjakekent]

“…do you remember the first time we met? At the League meeting? I was there with my mom and dad and you were with Tim and Tommy a ways away… and Superman was giving some speech and you just stood up in the middle of everything and told him that he was wrong and didn’t know how to superhero correctly. That was the first time I saw you. And in that moment I knew that you were going to be my best friend and that we were going to cause hell. Yeah, we all do stupid stuff when we’re kids, but then we get older and understand why we can’t do those things. And that’s what matters, Luc. I’m not letting you let me go, because I’m never letting you go and I’m not giving up on you.”

[telepathictease]

“You… Jake, I killed them. This goes against everything we vowed, everything we stand for. If the others found out… if my dads knew… I hate myself. It wasn’t bad enough already that I’m emotionally compromised, I… did this. And I can’t get it out of my head.” He shoved at Jake’s chest a little harder. “If I can do that, what’s to say it’s not going to happen again?”

[superboyjakekent]

“If they knew… they’d understand. Accidents happen. Especially to people with powers. From what I’ve heard, Tommy doesn’t exactly have a clean conscious and Tim slipped himself into the League of Assassins and Council of Spiders back in the day. That’s about as grey area as you can get. Not to mention Red Hood and Dick went on his stint for a while. Damian. And then you throw in Cass… Things happen. And torturing yourself isn’t going to change those things. Let us help you. Help you move past it and help make sure it never happens again.” 

[telepathictease]

Luc took a shaky breath and slowly allowed himself to actually meet Jake’s gaze. He’d been scared to before. What if he saw the disgust and hatred he had for himself reflected back at him by someone he loved?

But that’s not what he saw there now.

“You really won’t ditch me?”

[robinboystalker]

Yeah, he wasn’t the only one that had freaked out during that conversation.

“I know… but I also know that sometimes you try too hard to handle things on your own when you don’t have to. Just… be careful, alright? And sometimes when stuff gets all jumbled in your head, saying it aloud helps make it make sense.”

[telepathictease]

“The person that I’m seeing… they don’t deserve me. I’m no good at… a lot of things. Like monogamy. And feelings. And conversations. And… 75% of the time I’m a complete jerk.” He crossed his arms, unable to go further into why and how he was so messed up.

[robinboystalker]

“Hey….” Tim reached out and pulled Lucas into a loose hug, making sure that he didn’t feel trapped. A habit he had learned from calming Tommy over the years, “You are plenty good at a lot of things, so there are some things that you struggle with. That’s alright. A lot of those things come from me and Tommy so you can blame us. You’re still young. You don’t need to be good at any of those things yet. Most kids your age aren’t. And you’re not a complete jerk. You’re hiding. Because you have feelings and you don’t want them out there so you can’t get hurt. But you deserve to be happy. And if this person makes you happy, then go for it. And if they can’t accept you as you are, then they weren’t right for you and you’ll find someone who is. Don’t get yourself all worked up about this sort of stuff. It’ll all work out.”

[telepathictease]

“Dad, you’re wrong. I’m not... this isn’t...” he pushed Tim away. “You’re not like me. Not like that. And not like... you don’t get it. I’m a meta. When you throw a batarang, you plan and know where it’s going. It’s practice, sure. But there’s an element of intent and control. I’m not like you. I’m a freak every which way, and that’s because you married a freak. You married a freak and had freak kids and he’s a dangerous weapon with emotional issues and SO AM I.” Tears streaming down his face he stepped back. “Both of you just leave me alone.” 

[ohmygoshitstezeta]

[superboyjakekent]

“…do you remember the first time we met? At the League meeting? I was there with my mom and dad and you were with Tim and Tommy a ways away… and Superman was giving some speech and you just stood up in the middle of everything and told him that he was wrong and didn’t know how to superhero correctly. That was the first time I saw you. And in that moment I knew that you were going to be my best friend and that we were going to cause hell. Yeah, we all do stupid stuff when we’re kids, but then we get older and understand why we can’t do those things. And that’s what matters, Luc. I’m not letting you let me go, because I’m never letting you go and I’m not giving up on you.”

[telepathictease]

“You... Jake, I killed them. This goes against everything we vowed, everything we stand for. If the others found out... if my dads knew... I hate myself. It wasn’t bad enough already that I’m emotionally compromised, I... did this. And I can’t get it out of my head.” He shoved at Jake’s chest a little harder. “If I can do that, what’s to say it’s not going to happen again?”

[superboyjakekent]

“Lucas… you didn’t mean to. If you did, you wouldn’t be this upset about it. You’re not a sociopath. I’ve known you your entire life. You don’t kill people and if you did, it was an accident and no one would blame you. I don’t blame you.” He wraps an arm around him, pulling him back to him, “No one blames you.”

[telepathictease]

“No. You haven’t Jake. When I was young, before I met you, I wasn’t a good person. You changed me. My dads were worried about me. They thought I’d turn into some kind of monster. And that happened. When I killed an entire building fill of people. With my mind. I didn’t even touch them. There was blood everywhere, I could hear their screams echoing around my heard, directly from their minds to mine...” He pushes at Jake’s chest. “I’ll just drag you down. I’ve been selfish. I didn’t want to let you go. But you deserve more. Better.”

[stevenjackie]

[hotgiftdeals]

[telepathictease]

Lucas, caught off guard by the sudden change, looked away. Instead, he silently bent down to pick up his jeans and put them on.

[superboyjakekent]

Jake bit back a sigh. He didn’t know why Lucas always did that whenever they were having a serious conversation, but it was getting a little hard to not take it personal.

[telepathictease]

Once his pants were zipped up, he finally met Jake’s eyes. “Why do you do that?”

[superboyjakekent]

“Why do I do that?” And it was moments like this that he remembered his … boyfriend? was a telepath. 

[telepathictease]

“All of it. Spring it on me without warning. Not let me adjust. And then take it personally. And I simply- I’m- You do this and I don’t know what to do.” He grabbed his bag. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m royally fucked. And if you can’t take it as it is right now, then we should end this. Before it goes further. I’m trying to sort my end, so that one day, when you say that, I can say what I feel. But if you can’t take it as it is right now, and be able to wait, and I get your thoughts and feelings crashing over me and making me feel like shit, then you need to find someone else. Someone that isn’t fucked.”

[superboyjakekent]

“Hey, whoa.” He grabbed Lucas’ arm and turned him to face him, “I knew what I was getting into when I started this. And just like you can’t help how you feel when I say things, I can’t help what I feel when you react to them. I’m sorry if you’re picking up on them, I’m not meaning to project them onto you, but you’re stupid if you don’t think for one second that you’re worth it. You’re worth feeling everything I feel because you’re my best friend and I know you better than you know yourself. I know what you feel, even if you can’t say it. Actions speak louder than words. I just… wish you could open up to me. I’ve known you all your life and you still shut me out. I know you shut everyone out but… sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m one of them. I’m not letting you go and I’m not giving up on you. You’ll get there in time and I’m more than willing to wait.”

[telepathictease]

Lucas shook his head. “No… No, you’re so much better than me. If you knew… all the shit… you wouldn’t look at me like you do. You wouldn’t care about me. And I know it. I know what you’re worth and it kills me how I feel about you and knowing that you deserve so much more than I can give you, Jake.”

[superboyjakekent]

“You are everything I deserve. And I don’t want anything or anyone else. You won’t convince me otherwise.”

[telepathictease]

Luc felt his jaw tighten. But this was the only way they’d ever get past this. 

“Jake, I’m a murderer. I murdered people. You’re dating a psychopath.”

He’d said it. For the first time, ever. Yet, he didn’t feel better. In fact, he felt worse.

[superboyjakekent]

Jake frowned a bit at that, “What are you talking about? You’re not a psychopath.”

He racked his brain, trying to figure out what Lucas was referring to, but he was coming up blank. What had happened that he didn’t know about, and how did he not know about it? If the superhero community was anything, it was gossipy. 

[telepathictease]

Lucas could feel his legs getting weaker. He had to get out of here before he had a full on meltdown.

“It’s been two years, Jake. And you’re the first person I’ve ever told. I’m selfish. And… and manipulative. And just… I’m just psycho. I’ll call Hunter to pick me up, I have to go.” He grabbed his bag, swinging it onto his back and heading for the door.

[superboyjakekent]

Jake grabbed his arm. He couldn’t let him leave like that. Couldn’t let this linger between them.

“Two years?” He racked his brain, trying to think of something, anything that happened two years ago.

“…That’s… that’s when we first started… Lucas, what happened? You’re not selfish or manipulative and you’re not a psycho. Whatever happened, for you to feel this badly about it, clearly was an accident. There’s no reason to label yourself like that.”

[telepathictease]

"There is. I... killed so many people, Jake. Remember when I went off on my own and no one could contact me for half an hour? We were at the docks. Tyler said wait till we have the right building and surround it together. But no. I was determined to find it first and handle it on my own. When you found me I was sitting on the case of drugs by the boats? That's not where I found it. I never found it in the boats. And the blood splatter all over my suit wasn't a henchmen I knocked out." He pulled his arm from Jakes grip.

[everyhtingslove]

[telepathictease]

Lucas, caught off guard by the sudden change, looked away. Instead, he silently bent down to pick up his jeans and put them on.

[superboyjakekent]

Jake bit back a sigh. He didn’t know why Lucas always did that whenever they were having a serious conversation, but it was getting a little hard to not take it personal.

[telepathictease]

Once his pants were zipped up, he finally met Jake’s eyes. “Why do you do that?”

[superboyjakekent]

“Why do I do that?” And it was moments like this that he remembered his … boyfriend? was a telepath. 

[telepathictease]

“All of it. Spring it on me without warning. Not let me adjust. And then take it personally. And I simply- I’m- You do this and I don’t know what to do.” He grabbed his bag. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m royally fucked. And if you can’t take it as it is right now, then we should end this. Before it goes further. I’m trying to sort my end, so that one day, when you say that, I can say what I feel. But if you can’t take it as it is right now, and be able to wait, and I get your thoughts and feelings crashing over me and making me feel like shit, then you need to find someone else. Someone that isn’t fucked.”

[superboyjakekent]

“Hey, whoa.” He grabbed Lucas’ arm and turned him to face him, “I knew what I was getting into when I started this. And just like you can’t help how you feel when I say things, I can’t help what I feel when you react to them. I’m sorry if you’re picking up on them, I’m not meaning to project them onto you, but you’re stupid if you don’t think for one second that you’re worth it. You’re worth feeling everything I feel because you’re my best friend and I know you better than you know yourself. I know what you feel, even if you can’t say it. Actions speak louder than words. I just… wish you could open up to me. I’ve known you all your life and you still shut me out. I know you shut everyone out but… sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m one of them. I’m not letting you go and I’m not giving up on you. You’ll get there in time and I’m more than willing to wait.”

[telepathictease]

Lucas shook his head. “No… No, you’re so much better than me. If you knew… all the shit… you wouldn’t look at me like you do. You wouldn’t care about me. And I know it. I know what you’re worth and it kills me how I feel about you and knowing that you deserve so much more than I can give you, Jake.”

[superboyjakekent]

“You are everything I deserve. And I don’t want anything or anyone else. You won’t convince me otherwise.”

[telepathictease]

Luc felt his jaw tighten. But this was the only way they’d ever get past this. 

“Jake, I’m a murderer. I murdered people. You’re dating a psychopath.”

He’d said it. For the first time, ever. Yet, he didn’t feel better. In fact, he felt worse.

[superboyjakekent]

Jake frowned a bit at that, “What are you talking about? You’re not a psychopath.”

He racked his brain, trying to figure out what Lucas was referring to, but he was coming up blank. What had happened that he didn’t know about, and how did he not know about it? If the superhero community was anything, it was gossipy. 

[telepathictease]

Lucas could feel his legs getting weaker. He had to get out of here before he had a full on meltdown.

“It’s been two years, Jake. And you’re the first person I’ve ever told. I’m selfish. And... and manipulative. And just... I’m just psycho. I’ll call Hunter to pick me up, I have to go.” He grabbed his bag, swinging it onto his back and heading for the door.

[robinboystalker]

Tim got up and followed him. He often wondered where he went wrong when it came to his kids, and mostly he landed on mixing his and Tommy’s personalities into one person. 

That and them finding out that not only was Tommy still a superhero, but that Tim had used to be one too.

He placed a hand on Lucas’ shoulder, biting back his instinct to get upset, to yell and tell Lucas that he had no right talking to him like that. 

“…You know that we’re here for you, right? Whatever it is, you can always tell us.”

[telepathictease]

Lucas shook his head. 

“I can’t. I can’t tell you. And I can’t tell Pops.” He crossed his arms, “Especially when it’s already messed up in my head. Telling you both would just make it worse.” But at the sight on Tim’s face the hostility melted a little. “Don’t take it personally, okay? I’m not ready yet. I’m really not. Don’t I always come to you? When it’s serious? When I need you? I even told you about the… rash down there and I was freaked out…”

[robinboystalker]

Yeah, he wasn’t the only one that had freaked out during that conversation.

“I know… but I also know that sometimes you try too hard to handle things on your own when you don’t have to. Just… be careful, alright? And sometimes when stuff gets all jumbled in your head, saying it aloud helps make it make sense.”

[telepathictease]

“The person that I’m seeing... they don’t deserve me. I’m no good at... a lot of things. Like monogamy. And feelings. And conversations. And... 75% of the time I’m a complete jerk.” He crossed his arms, unable to go further into why and how he was so messed up.

[telepathictease]

Kid Flash: Remember when you said you weren’t gonna interfere with my love life?

Nightwing: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

[telepathictease]

Lucas, caught off guard by the sudden change, looked away. Instead, he silently bent down to pick up his jeans and put them on.

[superboyjakekent]

Jake bit back a sigh. He didn’t know why Lucas always did that whenever they were having a serious conversation, but it was getting a little hard to not take it personal.

[telepathictease]

Once his pants were zipped up, he finally met Jake’s eyes. “Why do you do that?”

[superboyjakekent]

“Why do I do that?” And it was moments like this that he remembered his … boyfriend? was a telepath. 

[telepathictease]

“All of it. Spring it on me without warning. Not let me adjust. And then take it personally. And I simply- I’m- You do this and I don’t know what to do.” He grabbed his bag. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m royally fucked. And if you can’t take it as it is right now, then we should end this. Before it goes further. I’m trying to sort my end, so that one day, when you say that, I can say what I feel. But if you can’t take it as it is right now, and be able to wait, and I get your thoughts and feelings crashing over me and making me feel like shit, then you need to find someone else. Someone that isn’t fucked.”

[superboyjakekent]

“Hey, whoa.” He grabbed Lucas’ arm and turned him to face him, “I knew what I was getting into when I started this. And just like you can’t help how you feel when I say things, I can’t help what I feel when you react to them. I’m sorry if you’re picking up on them, I’m not meaning to project them onto you, but you’re stupid if you don’t think for one second that you’re worth it. You’re worth feeling everything I feel because you’re my best friend and I know you better than you know yourself. I know what you feel, even if you can’t say it. Actions speak louder than words. I just… wish you could open up to me. I’ve known you all your life and you still shut me out. I know you shut everyone out but… sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m one of them. I’m not letting you go and I’m not giving up on you. You’ll get there in time and I’m more than willing to wait.”

[telepathictease]

Lucas shook his head. “No… No, you’re so much better than me. If you knew… all the shit… you wouldn’t look at me like you do. You wouldn’t care about me. And I know it. I know what you’re worth and it kills me how I feel about you and knowing that you deserve so much more than I can give you, Jake.”

[superboyjakekent]

“You are everything I deserve. And I don’t want anything or anyone else. You won’t convince me otherwise.”

[telepathictease]

Luc felt his jaw tighten. But this was the only way they’d ever get past this. 

“Jake, I’m a murderer. I murdered people. You’re dating a psychopath.”

He’d said it. For the first time, ever. Yet, he didn’t feel better. In fact, he felt worse.