Telling On Me

[tellingonme]

I'm not going to cry over my pain, struggles and lost patience. I will stand. I will celebrate all that I've succeeded in and the strength that surfaces when I think there's none. I'm going to smile and embrace the days ahead of me because greatness is always there though I cannot see it or know how long it will take to get to me. My struggles always prove that down the line my wishes come true. It may not come easy and come to me the way I wanted it or in the time I want it. Time sometimes comes with a broken clock, but when it comes I appreciate it more deeply when it's finally here. Stay strong, the struggles, pain and patience is rewarded. You just might not see it now.

[tellingonme]

I sit here pondering how much time will it take for me to really be where I want to be. How much longer do I not have to worry about the seconds ticking by. I then hit myself on the back of my head and say to myself. You have control of time. You have control of what is to come to you. YOU are where you're suppose to be to get to where you need to be. I then realize my inner voice is right at times and I have to trust it. Don't let anything discourage you, because you have control of moments to mold you. It's how you react and take in that breath. Close your eyes and just relax and in due time difficult times will become your victorious destiny.

[tellingonme]

The light as dim as it is, is brighter than the dark. Let it always keep you company and guide you to the brighter light for it is waiting to heal and lift you and warm the cold that has brought all the weight that has been holding you down. The dim light lives inside you. Let it keep shining. I can see it for it is the brighter light for all. To guide them, to calm them and to hold the calm. My senses tell me that your time is here to rise and start a new journey with each footprint you make every single day your amicable mind will chase and capture smiles of those that come through thy path. This is part of your journey for you are a gift within yourself and to others. You bring new ways to them and open their minds and hearts. Your calling has come. Thy journey is starting and the beat has started just because of your footprints one by one.

- telling on me

[tellingonme]

And now he's gone. Gone in a wall.

[tellingonme]

Why do people wait for someone to die to tell their dark secret they've been keeping inside? Fear. No war. No belief. Just wait. How long? Till they die. I'll wait awhile after he dies. Tomorrow I depart for his funeral.

He's not blood.

[tellingonme]

My father said "You know who love me?" He then pointed at me. My heart sank in and all I wanted to do is cry. "She love me since she was this small" he puts his hand close to the ground showing the height of a baby. "She always have her arm around me, always."

It meant so much to me that my father knew how much I loved him as he was dying. Till this day it's still so hard to think of him or speak of him without pain and choking up and fighting with my tears. I miss him so much. He's always with me. Always. Even though this photo breaks my heart, I wasn't able to hug him so instead I held his hand and the last hug was after I saw him take his last breath. I layed in the bed with him and held him one last time crying for the whole building to hear. I never wanted to let go. ♡

[tellingonme]

Blame. Your breath speaks truth when a lie is blamed that you are lying. Anger is what is replaced in your corner. Blame.

[tellingonme]

4:44

[tellingonme]

I fell in love with how clear the sky was tonight. Hypnosis followed me as I walked the street with my head tilted back as my eyes were still on the stars. Tonight just brought me a smile. Finally.