Summary: I hate summaries, so this is part 5 of "Beyond saving".
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only!, Smut, soft dean
Word Count: 6064
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
You eyed Dean uncertainly, unsure of what to think about Jodie's suggestion. Sam, however, chimed in enthusiastically.
"That's a great idea", he exclaimed, nodding in agreement.
With Jodie's plan in motion, Sam, Dean, and you went to pack some stuff for the trip.
Jodie held Sam's wrist gently, stopping him in his tracks as you and Dean made your way towards the Impala. She leaned in close, her voice quiet but firm.
"Maybe it's best to let them have some alone time", she murmured softly, her gaze flickering towards you and Dean. "They need this time together".
Sam nodded, understanding the wisdom in Jodie's words. With a reassuring smile, he turned away, giving you and Dean the space you needed.
As Dean kept his eyes on you, the tension in the car palpable, he finally broke the silence. "I love you", he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability. He held out his hand towards you, a silent invitation for you to take it if you wanted.
You felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you at his words, his gesture melting away some of the barriers between you. With a small smile, you reached out and gently clasped his hand in yours, the warmth of his touch sending a comforting wave of reassurance through you.
After a while Dean pulled into a gas station to refuel and grab some snacks, while you remained asleep, your breathing steady and peaceful. He carefully filled up the tank and selected a few snacks, including a candy bar for himself.
As he started driving again and opened the candy bar, the rustling of the wrapper stirred you from your slumber. Blinking sleepily, you rubbed your eyes and stretched, the hunger pangs in your stomach reminding you that you needed something to eat.
Dean glanced over at you, a fond smile playing at the corners of his lips as he watched you wake up. "Sleeping beauty finally awakens", he teased gently, holding out the candy bar towards you. "Hungry?".
You chuckled softly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. "Always", you replied with a playful grin, reaching out to take the candy bar from him. "Thanks, Dean".
He nodded, his gaze softening as he focused on the road ahead. "Anytime, sweetheart", he murmured, his voice filled with warmth and affection. "Just trying to keep my girl happy".
You leaned back in your seat, the warmth of Dean's words wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. Closing your eyes for a moment, you felt a sense of peace wash over you, grateful for this moment of simple, quiet contentment with the person you loved.
As you enjoyed the snack, Dean stole glances at you, his smile widening with each passing moment. "You know", he said, his voice soft and playful, "I miss these road trips with you".
You chuckled, a warmth spreading through your chest at his words. "Yeah?", you replied, your eyes meeting his briefly before returning to the passing scenery outside the window. "Even with my constant need for snacks?".
Dean grinned. "Especially with your constant need for snacks", he teased.
Dean's hand found its way back into yours, his fingers intertwining with yours as he squeezed your hand lightly. His gaze softened as he looked at you.
"We're gonna make it, you and me", he said earnestly, his voice filled with conviction. "I'll do anything to make sure of it".
You smiled, feeling a surge of warmth flood through you at his words. "I know", you replied softly, your heart swelling with love for the man beside you.
Two hours later, Dean parked the car in front of the lake house, his eyes scanning the surroundings as he spotted Claire and Alex preparing the fire pit. He turned to look at you, a hint of uncertainty flickering in his gaze.
"Hey", he began, his voice hesitant. "Um, is the plan for tonight still… you know, up?". He swallowed nervously, his fingers fidgeting with the keys in his hand.
Dean's eyes widened slightly at your nod, a mix of relief and anticipation washing over him. He cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Yeah, uh… I also grabbed some lube from the gas station", he said, his cheeks flushing slightly as he reached into the backseat to retrieve the small bottle. "You know, just in case". He offered you a sheepish smile, his nerves evident despite his attempt at nonchalance.
You chuckled softly, taking the bottle from Dean and inspecting it with a playful grin. "Vanilla flavor, huh?", you teased, raising an eyebrow at him. "Was that on purpose?".
Dean's cheeks flushed even a deeper shade of red, caught off guard by your playful remark. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Uh, well… I mean, I figured it might make things a little… you know, sweeter?", he stammered, his words laced with embarrassment.
You chuckled at Dean's flustered response, finding his embarrassment endearing. Leaning in close, you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, your laughter muffled against his mouth.
"You're something else, Dean Winchester", you murmured.
Just as the kiss deepened, Claire and Alex knocked loudly against the window, startling both of you. You jumped back slightly, now your cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you quickly straightened up in your seat.
Clearing his throat awkwardly, Dean shot a sheepish glance at you before rolling down the window to greet Claire and Alex.
Claire and Alex grinned mischievously as they leaned in through the open window, their eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Whoa there, lovebirds", Claire teased, nudging Dean playfully with her elbow. "Didn't mean to interrupt anything, did we?".
Alex chimed in with a smirk. "Yeah, didn't know we were getting a free show out here".
Dean chuckled, rolling his eyes good-naturedly as he leaned back in his seat. "You two are never gonna let us live this down, are you?", he quipped, shooting Claire and Alex a playful grin. The two just shook their heads and grinned.
Dean took your bag and slung it over his shoulder, his hand finding its way to the small of your back as he guided you towards the lake house. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, a silent reassurance of his presence by your side.
As you walked together, you couldn't help but steal glances at Dean, feeling a rush of affection swell in your chest. Despite everything you'd been through, his unwavering support and love filled you with a sense of gratitude and hope for the future.
Jodie looked up from the barbecue preparations as she spotted you and Dean entering the kitchen, a playful grin spreading across her face.
"Well, well, well", she teased. "Look who decided to finally grace us with their presence. Did you two make an extra stop along the way?".
Dean chuckled, giving Jodie a mock glare as he draped an arm around your shoulders. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up", he retorted. "We had a few things to take care of on the road, that's all".
You rolled your eyes at their playful teasing, but couldn't help but smile at the warmth and familiarity of the moment. It felt good to be surrounded by friends, to have a chance to relax and enjoy each other's company after everything that had happened.
As everyone sat around the crackling fire pit, enjoying the warmth and camaraderie of the evening, Dean pulled you close against his side, his arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders. He pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head, his affectionate gesture drawing a playful gag from Claire.
"Ugh, seriously, you two", Claire teased, her tone exaggeratedly dramatic as she feigned disgust. "Could you be any more nauseatingly adorable?".
You chuckled at Claire's teasing, leaning into Dean's embrace as you exchanged a knowing glance with him.
After everyone had finished eating, the atmosphere around the fire pit grew quieter, the conversation tapering off into contented silence. Dean leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered softly.
"Do you want to go to our room?", he murmured, his voice low and filled with longing, his gaze meeting yours with a hint of anticipation.
A shiver ran down your spine as you felt the heat of Dean's breath on your ear, his words igniting a fire within you. You licked your lips, the desire evident in your eyes as you met his gaze.
"Yes", you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, filled with longing and anticipation. "Let's go".
Dean stood up, his hand gently pulling you to your feet as he nodded towards the house. "Come on, sweetheart", he said softly. "Let's head to bed".
As you followed him, Alex couldn't resist teasing. "Have fun, you two", she called out, her voice playful as she winked at you. "Don't keep us up all night!".
Dean chuckled, shooting a playful glance back at Alex over his shoulder. "We'll try to keep the noise down", he quipped with a grin before disappearing into the house with you, his arm around your waist.
As Dean hoisted you over his shoulder, you let out a surprised yelp, the sound echoing through the quiet night air. Laughter erupted from Claire, Alex, Jodie, and Sam as they watched Dean carry you up the stairs, your protests and giggles filling the air.
Sam chuckled, his heart feeling lighter as he watched the scene unfold.
"I don't think anyone's getting any sleep tonight", he remarked.
Jodie joined in the laughter, shaking her head incredulously. "Well, at least they're having fun", she said with a chuckle. "Let's just hope they work everything out".
Sam nodded in agreement, his gaze drifting towards the house where you and Dean had disappeared. He couldn't help but feel hopeful that the two of you would find your way back to each other.
Dean pushed open the door of your room with his foot, his lips curling into a playful smirk as he carried you over the threshold. He carefully set you down on your feet, his hands lingering on your waist for a moment longer than necessary.
You looked up at Dean, your eyes filled with affection and sincerity as you spoke softly, "I love you, Dean".
Dean's smile softened as he gazed into your eyes, his expression filled with affection. "I love you too", he whispered, his voice tinged with sincerity. "And please, if there's ever anything you don't want, just tell me. I'll stop, no questions asked".
His hands rested gently on your waist, pulling you closer as he leaned in to press a tender kiss against your lips.
As Dean's lips met yours, you felt a rush of warmth spread through your body, melting into the kiss. His cologne enveloped you, heightening your senses, while the sensation of his beard stubble against your skin sent shivers down your spine. The kiss intensified, becoming more passionate and fervent with each passing moment.
Dean's lips moved against yours with a tender urgency, his touch gentle yet firm as he sought to convey his love and desire for you. His hands cradled your face delicately, his fingertips tracing the contours of your cheeks with featherlight caresses. With each kiss, he poured his emotions into the moment, his lips moving in a slow, sensual dance with yours.
As the intensity of the kiss deepened, Dean's movements became more deliberate, his lips exploring every inch of yours with a reverence that spoke volumes of his affection. His kisses were soft and lingering, as if he was trying to memorize the feel of your lips against his own. With each press of his mouth against yours, he conveyed his love and devotion, his touch speaking volumes of the tenderness he held for you.
Dean's embrace was warm and protective, his arms enveloping you in a cocoon of safety and love. He held you close, as if afraid to let you go, his touch reassuring and comforting. In that moment, there was no doubt in your mind that Dean would do anything to protect you, to cherish you, and to show you just how much you meant to him.
He pushed you gently towards the bed, his touch firm yet tender as he guided you to the soft mattress below. With a deft movement, he lifted you up and carefully placed you down, his hands supporting you as you settled against the bed.
Once you were nestled on the mattress, Dean hovered over you, his gaze intense as he looked down at you with a mixture of desire and adoration. His body radiated warmth as he leaned in closer, his breath mingling with yours as he brushed his lips against yours in another lingering kiss.
You melted beneath him, the sensation of his weight pressing down on you sending shivers of anticipation down your spine. His touch was electrifying, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body as he trailed kisses along your jawline and down the curve of your neck.
Dean met your gaze with a mixture of longing and reverence as he carefully began to unbutton the flannel shirt you were wearing, his fingers moving with deliberate care as he revealed the soft curves of your naked breasts underneath. With each button undone, his breath hitched in his throat, his eyes drinking in the sight of your exposed skin with a hunger that bordered on desperation.
As the flannel fell away, pooling around your waist, Dean's gaze remained fixed on you, his eyes dark with desire as he took in the sight of your bare chest rising and falling with each breath. The vulnerability of the moment hung heavy in the air, but it was tempered by the overwhelming sense of intimacy and connection that flowed between you.
Dean's fingertips traced lightly over your skin.
As he leaned down, his lips met the delicate skin of your neck, his kisses soft and slow as he made his way down to your breasts. With each press of his lips, your heart quickened, the sensation of his warm breath against your skin igniting a fire deep within you.
You gasped softly as Dean's lips finally met the curve of your breast.
Dean's mouth moved with purpose, his kisses growing more urgent as he lavished attention on your sensitive skin. With gentle yet firm movements, he took one of your hardened nipples between his lips, sucking it gently as his tongue swirled around the sensitive bud.
You gasped at the sudden sensation, a wave of pleasure coursing through you as Dean's warm mouth enveloped your nipple. His movements were slow and deliberate, each suck sending jolts of electricity straight to your core.
"Dean", you moaned softly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you arched your back, offering yourself completely to him. The feeling of his lips and tongue on your skin was exquisite, a sweet torture that left you yearning for more.
Dean hummed in response, the vibrations sending delicious shivers down your spine as he continued to lavish attention on your breast. His touch was both tender and demanding.
Dean's lips trailed down your stomach, leaving a trail of hot kisses in their wake. As he reached the waistband of your jeans, he paused, looking up at you with a mixture of desire and reverence in his eyes.
"Can I…?", he murmured softly, as he gestured towards your jeans and panties. His gaze was intense, seeking your permission before proceeding further.
You nodded, a silent affirmation of consent as you met Dean's gaze. He leaned forward, his fingers hooking under the waistband of your jeans and slowly pulling them down, along with your panties, revealing your naked form to him.
Feeling a bit nervous, you couldn't help but tense up slightly as Dean's gaze lingered on your exposed body.
Dean's hands gently rested on your hips as he knelt in front of you.
"You okay?", he asked softly, his voice laced with concern as he waited for your response.
You nodded, your breath catching in your throat as you met Dean's gaze. "Yeah", you whispered. "I'm okay… just a little nervous".
Dean's expression softened with understanding as he reached up, his fingers trailing lightly along your thighs. "We'll take things slow, I promise".
He licked his lips nervously, his hands trembling slightly as he gently spread your legs apart, his fingers tracing along the soft skin of your inner thighs.
His eyes flickered down between your thighs, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of your glistening folds. The heat between you pulsed with a primal urgency, the tension thickening in the air as he leaned in closer, his lips hovering just above your core.
You inhaled sharply as Dean's lips made contact with your heat, a shiver running down your spine at the sensation. His touch was gentle yet deliberate, his lips trailing kisses along your sensitive skin with a tender reverence. Each caress sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting a fire deep within your core as you surrendered to the intoxicating sensation.
Dean kissed your folds again, his lips lingering against your delicate skin before his thumb brushed over them, tracing a path from your tight opening up to your sensitive bundle of nerves. You could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, his touch sending shivers of anticipation coursing through you as he sighed heavily, lost in the moment.
Dean shifted slightly and then pressed a slow, sloppy kiss against your clit. The sensation was electrifying, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. With just that touch, you couldn't hold back any longer. A loud moan escaped your lips as you shuddered underneath him, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as your body was consumed by the overwhelming ecstasy of release.
Dean's eyes widened in amazement as he watched you succumb to the throes of pleasure, your body trembling with the intensity of your climax. His voice was filled with astonishment as he spoke, his words barely above a whisper. "I barely touched you", he murmured, his tone tinged with awe and disbelief.
You chuckled breathlessly, the aftershocks of pleasure still coursing through your body as you spoke. "Yeah, it's been a while", you murmured, your voice laced with satisfaction and a hint of amusement.
"Well, looks like I've still got some work to do then", Dean grinned.
Dean lowered his head between your thighs. You gasped as he flicked his tongue teasingly against your swollen clit.
With a deft touch, he added a finger, sliding it inside you slowly, the sensation causing you to arch your back and moan in ecstasy. He moved his tongue in slow circles, alternating between gentle licks and firm sucks, each movement driving you closer to the edge.
As he continued to pleasure you with his mouth and finger, your breath quickened, your fingers digging into the sheets as you surrendered to the overwhelming sensations.
Dean carefully added a second finger, feeling the tightness of your walls as he struggled to push them both inside you. He could feel your body tensing with each movement, the pleasure mixed with a hint of discomfort.
"Easy, sweetheart", he murmured softly, his voice filled with concern as he gently stroked your thigh. "I've got you. Just relax and let me take care of you".
He continued to move his fingers in a slow, steady rhythm, his touch becoming more confident as he felt your body responding to his ministrations. With each thrust, he searched for that perfect angle, determined to bring you the maximum pleasure while ensuring your comfort.
As he worked to stretch and prepare you, his gaze never left your face, his eyes filled with tenderness and a fierce desire to please you. He wanted nothing more than to make this experience as pleasurable and memorable as possible for you, to show you how much he cared for you in every touch and caress.
Feeling your tension continuing, Dean paused for a moment. "It's okay, just breathe", he reassured you softly, his voice filled with warmth and understanding.
With a deep breath, you tried to relax, but the tightness persisted. Sensing your discomfort, Dean leaned down, pressing a tender kiss against your inner thigh before trailing his lips upwards.
As he continued to work, Dean noticed your struggle to relax. With a determined yet gentle touch, he moistened his fingers with his saliva, mixing it with your wetness to ease the way. He made sure to move slowly and carefully, applying just enough pressure to stretch you without causing any pain.
As Dean's fingertips brushed against your G-spot, a jolt of pleasure shot through you, causing your body to arch instinctively towards his touch. At the same time, his lips closed around your clit, sending waves of sensation radiating through you.
Your breath hitched as pleasure surged through every nerve ending, the exquisite sensation overwhelming your senses. You grasped at the sheets beneath you, your nails digging into the fabric as you surrendered to the pleasure Dean was giving you.
Dean's movements became more deliberate, his fingers curling inside you to apply pressure to your G-spot while his tongue flicked and teased your clit with expert precision. Each stroke sent pulses of pleasure coursing through you, building the tension to an almost unbearable peak.
You moaned and whimpered, unable to form coherent words as pleasure consumed you entirely.
But before you could come, he pulled his lips away.
“Not yet, sweetheart. I want to feel you come around me”.
You whimpered in frustration, your body trembling with need as Dean’s fingers withdrew from inside you. Despite your protests, he shifted his position, moving to hover above you once again.
“I want to be inside you when you come”, he murmured as he positioned himself between your legs. “I want to feel you tighten around me".
With a hungered look in his eyes, Dean shed his clothes swiftly, revealing his toned, sculpted body. He knelt before you, his gaze locked with yours as he gave himself a few firm pumps, his arousal evident and pulsing with need.
Reaching for the lube on the nightstand, Dean poured a generous amount into his hand, coating himself thoroughly as he prepared to enter you. His movements were deliberate, yet filled with urgency, aching to feel the connection between you deepen with each touch.
As the wet sounds of Dean pumping his dick with lube filled the room, you couldn't help but tense slightly. Your gaze remained fixed on Dean, watching as he prepared himself.
"I won't do anything you're not comfortable with. Just tell me if you want me to stop", Dean mumbled as he saw your look.
"I trust you, Dean".
With a tender smile, Dean leaned in to press a reassuring kiss against your lips before resuming his preparations. As he positioned himself between your legs once again, you braced yourself for the wave of pleasure and intimacy that was about to wash over you.
Dean's breath hitched as he guided himself inside you, his movements slow and deliberate as he sought to ease his way into your warmth. Despite his gentleness, you couldn't suppress a sharp intake of breath, the sensation of being filled causing a dull ache to bloom deep within you.
"Easy, sweetheart", Dean murmured, his voice strained with effort as he fought to control his own desires. "Just relax for me".
You nodded, trying to obey his instructions as you focused on the sensation of Dean stretching you inch by inch. Each movement sent sparks of discomfort shooting through your body, but you gritted your teeth and bore through it, knowing that Dean needed this connection as much as you did.
Dean's panting grew heavier with each inch of progress, his body trembling with the effort of holding himself back. He met your gaze with a mixture of desire and concern, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress.
"God, you're so tight", he gasped, his voice strained with need as he finally buried himself fully inside you. "Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?".
You clenched your jaw, determined not to let the pain overwhelm you. "I'm okay", you whispered, your voice trembling with effort. "Just give me a moment".
As you both took a moment to adjust to the sensation of being joined together. Despite the discomfort, you knew that this moment was precious, a testament to the strength of your bond with Dean.
Dean leaned down, pressing tender kisses along your jawline as his body stilled inside you, giving you the time you needed to adjust to the intimacy between you. With each gentle touch of his lips, he tried to push aside the memories of how he had hurt you, focusing instead on the overwhelming love and desire he felt for you in this moment.
As Dean's lips brushed against yours, you felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you, a longing to be closer to him than ever before. With each kiss, each caress, you allowed yourself to let go of the past and embrace the present, reveling in the sensation of finally feeling each other this intensely again.
Dean’s lips trailed from your jaw down to your neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses in their wake. His breath was hot against your skin as he whispered, “Can I move, sweetheart?”.
You nodded, a small gasp escaping your lips as you felt him begin to shift inside you.
Dean slowly pulled out, his movements deliberate and controlled, before gently pushing back inside. Your jaw clenched in response to the sensation, a mixture of pain and pleasure.
With both of his hands planted firmly beside your head, Dean began to move with a steady rhythm. Your hands found their way to his biceps, gripping them tightly as you surrendered to the overwhelming pleasure of being with him.
Despite the lingering discomfort, the sensation of Dean filling you completely washed over you, leaving you gasping for breath as waves of pleasure rippled through your body.
Dean's voice was husky with desire as he whispered, "You okay, sweetheart?"-
You nodded, a soft moan escaping your lips as you lost yourself in the intensity of the moment.
Dean's breath hitched as he praised you, his voice a low, husky murmur against your ear. "You feel so good, sweetheart", he grunted, his words punctuated by the tightness and intensity of the sensation. "So damn tight… fuck, I've missed this".
Each word was accompanied by a thrust and Dean's movements became more purposeful as he searched for that sweet spot within you.
“There it is”, he grunted, a soft grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he felt the intensity of your reaction. With each thrust, the head of his cock brushed against it, your body responded eagerly to his touch, arching up to meet him as he continued to hit that perfect spot with each rhythmic thrust.
With each thrust, Dean pushed you closer and closer to the edge until finally, you couldn't hold back any longer. A loud moan escaped your lips as your walls clenched tightly around him, pulsing with the intensity of your release.
Feeling you tighten around him sent Dean over the edge as well, his control slipping away as he succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure. With a low groan, he buried himself deep inside you, his hips bucking against yours as he found his own release.
Dean panted heavily above you, his body slick with sweat as he slowly began to soften inside you. He pressed his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours as he tried to catch his breath.
"Damn, sweetheart", he murmured. "That was… incredible".
You smiled up at him.
"Yeah", you agreed softly. "It was".
The two of you lay there for a moment, reveling in the intimacy and connection you shared, before Dean pressed a tender kiss to your lips.
Dean rolled off of you, his arms immediately wrapping around you as he pulled you close. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his touch tender and loving as he held you against his chest.
"You okay?", he asked again and brushed a strand of hair away from your face.
You nodded, snuggling closer to him as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. "Yeah", you whispered. "I'm more than okay".
Two hours later, you were on top and as you rode Dean with a fervent rhythm, your bodies moving in perfect sync, the heat between you intensified with each thrust. Dean's hands tightened around your waist, guiding your movements as you found a pace that drove both of you wild.
His breath was hot as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips brushing against your skin with each exhale. You could feel the tension building in his body, his efforts to hold back his release evident in the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch.
You leaned into his embrace, relishing in the feeling of being so intimately connected with him.
With each movement, your moans filled the room, a symphony of pleasure echoing off the walls. Your palms pressed against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your touch as you drove him deeper into ecstasy.
Dean's own moans mingled with yours, his voice a low, guttural sound of desire as he surrendered himself to the sensations coursing through his body. He held you close, his grip tightening around your waist.
Despite the exhaustion weighing heavily on your bodies, neither of you could bear to stop, the magnetic pull between you too strong to resist.
In the midst of your shared ecstasy, Dean's voice broke through the haze of pleasure, husky with desire as he murmured, "I can't… I can't stop, baby. Not yet…".
You echoed his sentiment with a breathless plea, your voice filled with need as you begged for more, unable to imagine a moment without the intoxicating sensation of him filling you completely.
But as you tightened around him, a low groan escaped Dean's lips, his hands gripping your waist with renewed urgency. His breath hitched as he fought to maintain control, each clench of your muscles driving him closer to the brink of release.
"Fuck", he muttered, his voice strained with desire. "You feel so good, baby. Keep going…".
You responded with a fervent nod, your movements becoming more frenzied.
As the intensity between you escalated, Dean's hips met yours with a relentless rhythm, each thrust driving you both higher and closer to the edge.
"That's it, baby. Just like that", he murmured.
You responded with a gasp, your nails digging into his chest as pleasure surged through you.
As the wave of pleasure crashed over you, you clenched around Dean with an intensity that sent him over the edge. Your walls pulsed rhythmically around him, coaxing him closer and closer to his own release.
With a guttural groan, Dean's body tensed beneath you as he succumbed to the ecstasy washing over him. His hips met yours one final time, driving himself deep inside you as he spilled his essence, his orgasm merging with yours in a symphony of bliss.
Your bodies trembled with the aftershocks of pleasure, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you clung to each other in the aftermath. The intensity of the moment left you both spent and sated, wrapped in the warm embrace of your shared passion.
Sam chuckled softly as he joined Jodie in the kitchen, noticing the fatigue etched into her features.
"Can't sleep either?", he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Jodie let out a tired sigh, a weary smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "By this noise? Not a chance", she replied as she gestured vaguely in the direction of your room where you and Dean were undoubtedly still lost in each other's embrace.
Sam chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, seems like they’re making up for lost time”.
Jodie chuckled, shaking her head. "Quiet the reunion they're having, huh?".
Sam chuckled, handing jodie a beer. "Yeah, that's one way to put it".
Jodie let herself sink into a chair, rubbing her temples.
Just then, Claire joined them. "Seriously, did you guys hear them? It's like a full-blown production next door", she muttered.
Jodie groaned, shaking her head. "Tell me about it. I don't think we'll ever get any sleep with those two going at it". Sam chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. "Well, at least they're happy", he remarked, trying to lighten the mood.
Claire rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but do they have to be so loud about it? I feel like I'm in a bad rom-com". Jodie chuckled, rubbing her temples further. "I just hope they wear themselves out soon. I don't think I can handle another night of this".
Sam nodded in agreement, glancing towards the ceiling where the faint sounds of your passionate reunion could still be heard.
That’s when Dean, just clothed in some sweatpants tried to tiptoed down the stairs, getting a bottle of water. A pleased grin of his face. He stopped in his tracks as he spotted Sam, Jodie and Claire with smirks and raised eyebrows looking at him
He froze mid-step. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Dean attempted to play it cool. "Uh, hey guys", he greeted them, trying to act nonchalant as he reached for a bottle of water.
"Late-night workout, Dean?", Jodie quipped, her tone dripping with amusement.
Dean's cheeks flushed slightly, but he couldn't suppress the satisfied grin that tugged at the corners of his lips. "Something like that", he replied, his voice laced with a mixture of embarrassment and pride.
Sam chuckled, giving Dean a playful pat on the back. "Well, it's good to see you both working things out".
"Just try to keep it down next time, will ya?", Jodie joked.
"No promises", he replied with a grin, before retreating back upstairs with his bottle of water, leaving the others in the kitchen.
As Dean stepped back into the room, he shed his sweatpants and approached the bed, his gaze softening as he looked at your half-asleep form. Climbing back into bed, he brushed a strand of hair gently away from your face, his touch tender and affectionate.
"Hey, sweetheart", he murmured softly, his voice filled with warmth. "You should drink something before you go to sleep. I brought you some water".
You blinked groggily, your tired eyes fluttering open as Dean offered you the bottle of water. Taking it with a grateful sigh, you lifted it to your lips and took a few slow sips, feeling the cool liquid soothing your parched throat.
"Thanks, Dean", you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so tired… I feel like I could sleep for a week".
Your muscles ached from the intensity of your earlier activities, and exhaustion weighed heavily on your limbs. All you wanted was to sink into the comforting embrace of sleep, wrapped in Dean's arms.
Dean lay down beside you, pulling you close against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around you. As you snuggled into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, a sense of peace washed over you.
"I've got you", Dean whispered softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "Just relax. I'll be right here".
You sighed contentedly, nuzzling closer to him. "I love you", you murmured sleepily, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lull you into a sense of security.
"I love you too", Dean whispered back, his voice filled with tenderness. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart".
———————————
A/N: That´s it <3 Please let me know what you think.🥰
Summary: I hate summaries, so this is part 4 of "Beyond saving".
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: Mention of rape, Language, Angst, Hurt
Word Count: 5158
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
Sam’s protective instincts kicked in as he surveyed the scene before him, his muscles tensing as he prepared to defend you against any perceived threat. His eyes narrowed as they landed on Dean, a mixture of anger and concern flashing in their depths.
“What did you do?”, Sam demanded, his voice laced with accusation as he took a step forward, his fists clenched at his sides. “Did you hurt her again?”.
Dean’s eyes widened in shock at Sam’s accusation, his hands raised in a gesture of surrender as he took a step back. “No, Sam, it’s not what you think”, he protested, his voice filled with urgency as he tried to diffuse the situation.
But Sam wasn’t convinced, his gaze flickering between you and Dean as he searched for any sign of deception. “She’s crying!”, he growled. “And you leaving in a hurry. What am I supposed to think?”.
Dean’s heart sank at the accusation, the weight of his past mistakes bearing down on.
“Sam, I swear, I didn’t hurt her”, Dean insisted, his voice barely above a whisper as he struggled to find the right words. “Not this time”.
Sam’s eyes softened slightly at Dean’s words, a flicker of understanding crossing his features. He knew how much Dean regretted his past actions, how much he had tried to make amends for the pain he had caused.
Dean's heart clenched as he glanced at you from the side, his gaze filled with a mixture of longing and regret. He knew that he had hurt you deeply, that his past actions had left scars that may never fully heal. But despite his best intentions, he couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that gnawed at him from within.
"M'sorry", he mumbled, his voice barely audible as he turned to leave the room. "I… I just need some fresh air".
With a heavy sigh, Dean stepped out into the hallway. As he made his way outside, he couldn't help but wonder if there would ever come a day when he could truly make things right, when he could finally find redemption for the pain he had caused.
Sam handed you one of Dean's shirts, his gaze averted as he respectfully turned his back to give you some privacy. As you quickly slipped into the shirt, you felt a pang of sadness wash over you, the fabric still carrying the faint scent of Dean's cologne.
"What happened?", Sam asked gently, his voice filled with concern as he turned to face you once more. "Are you okay?".
Your heart felt heavy with anxiety and uncertainty as you tried to find the right words to explain what had just happened. "I don't know", you admitted, your voice trembling slightly as you fought to keep your emotions in check. "I thought… I thought we were okay, but then he…".
You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence as the weight of your own self-doubt threatened to overwhelm you. Was it something you did? Something you said? The thought that this might be your fault sent a wave of guilt crashing over you, leaving you feeling more lost and confused than ever before.
Sam’s brows furrowed with concern as he waited for your response, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation or doubt.
“Are you sure Dean didn’t hurt you?", he pressed gently. “I know things haven’t been easy between you two, but I need to know if he’s crossed a line”.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you met Sam’s gaze. “He didn’t hurt me”, you assured him, your voice firm despite the lingering doubts that clouded your mind.
Sam nodded, his expression softening with relief. “Okay”, he said, his voice tinged with gratitude as he reached out to squeeze your hand reassuringly. “Just know that I’m here for you, no matter what”.
You thanked Sam for his support, as he gave you some space. With a nod of gratitude, Sam left you to find Dean, his footsteps echoing softly in the hallway as he made his way out of the room.
Sam found Dean leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen, his expression heavy with guilt and regret. Sam approached him slowly, his footsteps cautious as he stopped beside his brother.
“So that’s your kind of getting fresh air, huh?”, Sam asked, his tone laced with gentle sarcasm as he gave Dean a knowing look.
Dean sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he avoided Sam’s gaze. “I messed up, Sam”, he admitted, his voice tinged with self-loathing. “I just… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t… be with her, not after everything”.
Sam’s brow furrowed with concern as he listened to Dean’s confession, his heart aching for his brother’s pain. He could see the turmoil etched on Dean’s face.
“Dean, you can’t keep punishing yourself like this”, Sam said gently, his voice filled with empathy as he placed a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder. “What happened wasn’t your fault. You were under the influence of the Mark. You have to let go of the past and forgive yourself”.
Dean’s jaw clenched with frustration as he struggled to contain his emotions. “I know, Sam”, he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “But every time I’m in this fucking kitchen, all I can think about is… what I did to her. It’s like I can’t escape the memories”.
“I get it, Dean”, he said softly. “But you can’t let those memories define you. You’re more than your past mistakes. You have to believe that”.
Sam paused, his gaze turning serious as he met Dean’s eyes. “You need to talk to her, Dean”, he said firmly. “You need to tell her that she didn’t do anything wrong. She needs to hear it from you”.
Dean’s frustration boiled over as he listened to Sam’s words of encouragement. Anger flashed in his eyes as he shook his head in disbelief.
“I’m a fucking loser, Sam”, Dean muttered bitterly, his voice tinged with self-disgust. “I couldn’t even do that one stupid thing right. I couldn’t even stay hard for her”.
Dean's admission hung heavy in the air, his words echoing with the weight of his own self-condemnation. As the reality of his own shortcomings settled over him, he felt a wave of shame wash over him like a suffocating tide.
"Dean, you're not a loser", Sam reiterated gently. "You're just struggling right now. It's okay to feel frustrated and disappointed, but you can't let it consume you".
But Dean couldn't shake the feeling of disgust that gnawed at his insides, the knowledge that he had failed in the most intimate of moments burning like a brand on his conscience. He clenched his fists at his sides, his jaw set in a tight line as he struggled to contain his emotions.
"But it doesn't change the fact that I let her down. I let myself down".
Sam's heart went out to his brother, the pain and self-loathing etched on his face like a roadmap of past mistakes. He wanted nothing more than to ease Dean's burden, to show him that he was worthy of love and forgiveness.
Dean pulled himself away from Sam's comforting touch, a heavy sense of defeat weighing on his shoulders as he reached for a bottle of whisky on the nearby table. Without a word, he turned and walked out of the bunker, the weight of his own guilt and self-doubt dragging him down with every step.
Sam watched him go, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He felt powerless, unsure of how to help his brother or mend the broken pieces of your fractured relationship. The rift between you and Dean seemed wider than ever, and Sam couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that gnawed at his insides.
As he sank onto the nearest chair, Sam couldn't help but wonder if there was anything he could do to bring the two of you back together, to heal the wounds that still lingered between you.
As the night fell and Sam drifted off to sleep, you found yourself wandering through the bunker, the weight of your thoughts heavy on your mind. After a while of searching, you finally found Dean sitting in your shared room, his silhouette illuminated by the soft glow of the bedside lamp.
You hesitated in the doorway, the air heavy with the scent of whiskey. Dean sat on the edge of the bed, his head bowed and shoulders slumped, lost in his own world of pain and regret.
For a moment, you simply stood there, unsure of what to say or do. The distance between you felt insurmountable.
"Dean?", you called out softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you stepped further into the room. Your heart clenched with uncertainty, unsure if he would even respond to you in his current state of intoxication.
Dean lifted his head at the sound of your voice, his eyes bloodshot and glazed with the effects of the alcohol. His gaze met yours, a mixture of surprise and resignation flickering in their depths.
You took a tentative step closer, your breath catching in your throat as you struggled to find the right words. "Are you okay?", you asked, your voice trembling with concern as you reached out a hand towards him.
Dean chuckled darkly, a bitter edge to the sound as he shook his head in disbelief. "Why the hell are you asking me that?", he muttered, his voice tinged with sadness and self-loathing. "If anyone should be asking if you're okay, it's me. I'm the one who screwed everything up, who couldn't even… couldn't even…".
His words trailed off into a heavy silence, the weight of his own failures bearing down on him. He looked away, unable to meet your gaze as shame and regret washed over him in waves.
You knelt down in front of Dean, your eyes searching his for any sign of comfort or reassurance. Before you could utter another word of apology, Dean cut you off, his voice firm and resolute.
"Stop apologizing", he said, his tone gentle yet firm. "You did absolutely nothing wrong".
His words washed over you like a soothing balm, easing the ache of guilt and self-doubt that had been gnawing at your insides.
Dean reached out, gently cupping your face in his hands as he looked into your eyes with sincerity and affection.
"You're absolutely breathtaking, gorgeous, and hot", he murmured, his voice filled with genuine admiration. "And it could never be your fault. You hear me?".
His words warmed your heart, melting away the last remnants of doubt and insecurity that lingered within you
You carefully asked, your voice barely above a whisper, “Then why did you stop?”.
Dean’s expression softened, a mixture of regret and sorrow flickering in his eyes as he searched for the right words. His hands slowly sinking from your face.
“It’s not you, it’s me”, he admitted, his voice tinged with self-reproach. “I just… I couldn’t get out of my own head, couldn’t shake the memories of what I’ve done”.
After a moment, you gathered the courage to speak again, your voice barely above a whisper as you voiced the suggestion that had been lingering in your mind.
“Maybe… maybe we should start with just sharing the bed tonight”, you suggested, your words tentative yet filled with longing. “We don’t have to do anything more than that. Just… be close to each other”.
Dean’s eyes met yours, a mixture of relief and gratitude shining in their depths as he nodded in agreement. “Yeah”, he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. “I’d like that”.
You stood up, feeling a sense of tentative hope blossoming within you as you reached out and took Dean’s hand. With a silent understanding passing between you, you led him towards the bed, each step bringing you closer to the intimacy and connection you both craved.
As you settled beneath the covers together, the warmth of the bed enveloping you, Dean pulled you close, his arms wrapping around you in a protective embrace. The tension that had hung between you slowly melted away, replaced by a comforting sense of closeness and familiarity.
As you nestled against Dean's chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm beneath your ear, he brushed a strand of hair away from your face and looked into your eyes with a tenderness that took your breath away.
"I love you", he whispered, his voice soft but filled with sincerity. "I always have, and I always will".
Tears welled up in your eyes at his words, overwhelmed by the depth of emotion that flowed between you. With a shaky breath, you reached up to cup his cheek, your fingers trembling with the intensity of your feelings.
"I love you too, Dean", you whispered back, your voice filled with emotion. "More than anything in this world".
A few hours before, Sam sat in the library, his brow furrowed with concern as he dialed Jodie's number, hoping that she could offer some guidance or support in the midst of the turmoil that had engulfed you and Dean.
"Hey, Jodie", Sam greeted her, his voice filled with urgency. "I was hoping we could talk. It's about (y/n) and Dean. I think they could really use someone to talk to".
Jodie listened attentively, her expression thoughtful as she processed Sam's words. "Of course, Sam", she replied, her voice filled with compassion. "I'd be happy to talk to them".
Sam nodded, even though Jodie couldn't see him over the phone. "Can you come over tomorrow?".
Jodie agreed, promising to be there for you and Dean when you needed her most.
As the next morning arrived, you felt Dean's gaze on you, his eyes filled with tenderness as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face. His voice was soft as he mumbled a gentle "morning".
As you opened your eyes and met Dean's gaze, the memories of the awful night came flooding back, sending a jolt of anxiety coursing through your veins. You couldn't help but recoil slightly, the weight of the past bearing down on you once again.
Dean's heart clenched at the sight of your reaction, his own pain mirrored in your eyes. He reached out tentatively, his hand hovering in the air as if unsure of whether to touch you or not.
As you reached out to him, your hand trembling slightly, your fingers lightly grazing his lightly bearded cheek, Dean's tired eyes met yours, filled with a mixture of longing and uncertainty. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt the warmth of your touch, a surge of emotion coursing through him at the sight of your soft smile.
Leaning forward, you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a gentle, tentative kiss. The sensation of your lips against his sent sparks flying through his veins, igniting a fire deep within his soul. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close as he deepened the kiss, losing himself in the sweetness and warmth of your embrace.
For a moment, the world faded away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the intensity of your shared desire.
As you pulled back slightly, your breath coming in ragged gasps, you couldn't help but notice the dark circles under Dean's eyes, evidence of a sleepless night spent wrestling with his demons.
"Did you even sleep for an hour?", you asked softly, concern lacing your voice as you brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead. "You look exhausted".
Dean sighed, his shoulders slumping with fatigue as he met your gaze. "Not really", he admitted, his voice tinged with weariness. "But being with you like this… it's the only thing that makes me feel alive".
Your heart clenched at his words, the depth of his longing and desire mirrored in his eyes.
Dean carefully pulled you on top of him, his touch gentle and tentative, as if he feared breaking you with his grasp. He looked up at you with a mixture of desire and uncertainty, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation or discomfort.
"You can stop me whenever you want", he whispered softly, his voice filled with a mixture of longing and restraint.
As you straddled his hips, Dean sat up slightly, his hands brushing over your thighs with a delicate touch. You could feel the warmth of his palms against your skin, sending shivers of anticipation coursing through your body. His gaze never leaving yours, he searched for any indication of what you desired, his own desire simmering just beneath the surface.
With a hesitant yet eager energy, Dean leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours in a tender kiss. His movements were slow and deliberate, as if he were savoring every moment, every sensation. As his hands continued to explore your body with gentle caresses, you felt yourself melting into his touch, your own desire building with each passing moment.
You felt Dean's growing arousal beneath you, a silent testament to his longing and desire. It pulsed against you, matching the rhythm of your own racing heart. Your hands tangled in his hair as you lost yourself in the heat of the moment, the world fading away as you focused solely on the sensation of his lips against yours.
As the kiss deepened, Dean's breath grew ragged, his desire palpable in the air between you. Breaking the kiss, he looked into your eyes with a mixture of longing and uncertainty.
"You want to try again tonight?", he asked softly, his voice filled with a combination of hope and apprehension. He wanted nothing more than to show you his love, to erase the pain of the past and build a new future together.
You met Dean's gaze, seeing the vulnerability and sincerity shining in his eyes. With a small smile, you nodded in response to his question, your own heart filled with a mixture of hope and anticipation.
"Yeah", you whispered softly. "I would like that".
Dean's eyes softened at your words, a wave of relief washing over him as he pulled you close, savoring the feeling of your body pressed against his.
"I love you", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he leaned in to capture your lips in a tender kiss.
As you melted into his embrace, the warmth of his love enveloping you, you felt a sense of peace and contentment wash over you. His arms wrapped around you felt like a safe haven, a refuge from the storms of the past.
"I love you too", you whispered softly.
After a while, Dean's stomach grumbled loudly, breaking the peaceful silence that had settled between you. You chuckled softly, the sound mingling with his laughter as you looked at each other.
"I think that's our cue to eat something", you said, your voice playful as you gently teased him. "We can't let those stomachs go empty, can we?".
Dean grinned, the sparkle returning to his eyes as he nodded in agreement. "Definitely not", he replied. "I'm starving".
You both getting up from the bed, and making your way to the kitchen.
You felt Dean's arms wrap around you as you stood at the kitchen counter, preparing sandwiches. His touch was gentle, his warmth enveloping you like a comforting embrace. His whisper tickled your ear as he spoke softly, declaring his love for you in a tender, heartfelt manner.
"I love you", he murmured, his words sending shivers down your spine as you leaned into his embrace. But then, as his arms encircled you, you couldn't help but tense up. It was the first time since that one evening—the evening when everything changed—that you found yourselves in the kitchen like this, sharing a moment of intimacy that was both familiar and fraught with memories.
Dean sensed the subtle shift in your body, the tension that crept into your muscles despite his efforts to comfort you. His heart sank at the realization that even though he longed to recapture the closeness you once shared, there were still barriers between you that he couldn't seem to breach.
"I'm sorry", he whispered softly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just… I miss us, you know?".
You turned around slowly, meeting Dean's gaze with weary eyes, the weight of your shared history hanging heavy between you. His beautiful green eyes searched yours.
"I'm trying, Dean", you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you reached out to touch his cheek gently. "I want to move forward, to find our way back to each other. But it's hard… so hard".
You felt the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, the ache in your heart threatening to overwhelm you.
As Jodie and Sam entered the kitchen, you and Dean exchanged surprised glances, not expecting to see them at this hour. Especially not Jodie.
Jodie's warm smile and Sam's reassuring presence instantly put you at ease, their arrival bringing a sense of comfort and familiarity to the room.
"Morning, you two", Jodie greeted cheerfully, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she took in the scene before her. "Hope we're not interrupting anything".
Dean chuckled softly, his tension easing slightly at Jodie's lighthearted tone. "No, not at all", he replied, offering her a small smile. "Just making some breakfast".
Sam nodded in agreement, his gaze flickering between you and Dean with a knowing look. "We thought we'd join you", he added, his voice warm with affection. "If that's okay".
You nodded in response to Sam's suggestion, a sense of gratitude washing over you at the thought of having them join you for breakfast. As you continued making sandwiches, Dean stepped in to help.
Jodie and Sam watched from the table, their eyes filled with warmth as they observed the two of you working together in the kitchen. Jodie couldn't help but feel a pang of curiosity.
"So, how did you two sleep?", she asked casually, her tone light yet filled with genuine interest. "I hope you're feeling better today".
Dean glanced at you, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips as he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we're doing okay", he replied. "Thanks for asking".
Jodie's curiosity seemed to veer into more intimate territory as she leaned forward, her eyes narrowing with interest.
"So, how's your… intimate life?", she asked, her tone gentle yet probing as she delved into the details of your relationship with Dean.
You couldn't help but tense at the question, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up your neck. Dean's expression hardened, his gaze shooting daggers at Sam.
"Why the hell did you tell her about that?", Dean demanded, his voice laced with annoyance as he shot Sam a glare.
Sam shifted uncomfortably, realizing he may have overstepped a boundary. "I was just trying to help", he explained. "I thought she might be able to offer some insight or advice".
Jodie raised an eyebrow at Sam's explanation before turning her attention back to you and Dean. "Well, if you're not comfortable talking about it, that's okay", she said reassuringly.
You bit your lip, feeling a mix of embarrassment and frustration wash over you. Your shoulders slumped as you continued making sandwiches, your back still turned to Sam and Jodie.
Dean turned around to face them, his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was angry and annoyed, but his voice was surprisingly gentle as he addressed Jodie and Sam.
"I appreciate your concern, but some things are better left between us", he said, his tone firm yet understanding. "We'll figure things out on our own".
Sam nodded in agreement, chastened by Dean's response. Jodie offered an apologetic smile before changing the subject, sensing the tension in the air.
Dean's sense of shame deepened as he realized that more people knew about his past actions, intensifying the self-loathing that already gnawed at him. Carefully, he placed a hand on your back, seeking some solace in your presence.
"Are you alright?"he asked softly, his voice tinged with concern as he felt you shudder at his touch.
You drew in a shaky breath, trying to compose yourself as you turned to face him. "I'm okay", you replied, forcing a small smile despite the turmoil swirling within you. "Just… a lot to process".
You placed plates in front of Sam and Jodie before turning back to the kitchen island to nibble at your own sandwich, trying to distract yourself from the uncomfortable tension in the room.
Jodie's voice broke the silence, her tone hesitant yet curious. "Won't you two come sit at the table?", she asked, gesturing towards the chairs around the dining area.
Dean's jaw clenched, his expression hardening as he shook his head firmly. "No, we won't", he replied tersely, his voice leaving no room for argument.
Sam gave Jodie an intense look, a silent communication that made her realize why you two were hesitant to sit at the table. Her eyes widened in understanding as she muttered, "Oh no".
With a heavy heart, she apologized to the two of you, her voice filled with genuine remorse. But before she could say anything more, Dean pushed himself away from the kitchen island, his movements tense and agitated. Without a word, he left the room, his footsteps echoing softly as he made his way towards the garage, seeking solace in the solitude of his own thoughts.
Feeling overwhelmed by the weight of your emotions, you couldn't hold back the tears any longer. As they streamed down your cheeks, Sam approached you with understanding in his eyes. Without a word, he enveloped you in his large arms, offering you the comfort and support you desperately needed.
You buried your face against his chest, letting out all the pent-up anguish and sorrow that had been building inside you. In the safety of Sam's embrace, you allowed yourself to release the flood of emotions that had been threatening to consume you.
Jodie's voice broke through the haze of your tears. "I'm so sorry", she murmured, her tone heavy with regret. "I'll go talk to Dean".
As she made her way towards the garage, you couldn't help but wonder what would come of their conversation, and whether it would bring any resolution to the tensions that had arisen.
Jodie approached Dean cautiously, her footsteps echoing softly in the quiet of the garage. She could see the tension radiating off him, his shoulders hunched in defeat as he sat with his head bowed. With a heavy sigh, she lowered herself to the ground beside him, giving him a moment of silence before speaking.
“Dean”, she began softly, her voice filled with compassion. “I’m sorry about what happened back there. I had no idea…”.
Dean lifted his head, his eyes red-rimmed and weary as he looked at Jodie. “It’s not your fault”, he muttered, his voice hoarse with emotion. “I’m the one who screwed everything up”.
Jodie reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort.
“Listen to me, Dean”, she said firmly, her voice unwavering. “You may not have parents anymore, but I’m here for you. I’m the closest thing you’ve got, and I won’t let you blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault”.
Dean’s gaze flickered with uncertainty, the pain etched on his face evident for all to see. But Jodie wasn’t about to let him wallow in self-pity.
“You were a demon, Dean”, she continued, her voice growing more insistent. “You weren’t yourself. You were under the influence of something beyond your control. It’s not your damn fault, do you hear me?”.
Dean opened his mouth to respond, but before he could utter a word, Jodie cut him off, her tone becoming even more firm and resolute.
"But nothing", she interjected, her voice leaving no room for argument. "You need to stop punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. You're stronger than this, Dean. You've faced demons, monsters, and worse. You can't let this one mistake define you".
Dean's eyes softened as he listened to Jodie's words, a glimmer of hope shining in their depths. He knew she was right, knew he couldn't continue to carry the weight of his past mistakes on his shoulders forever.
"Thank you, Jodie", he murmured, his voice filled with gratitude. "I needed to hear that".
"I know", Jodie replied softly, her arms wrapping around Dean in a tight embrace. "And I'm here for you, no matter what. Just remember that".
Jodie pulled back slightly, meeting Dean's gaze with a reassuring smile. "And remember, she still loves you", she said gently. "She's a smart girl, Dean. She knows it wasn't your fault. You just have to believe it too".
As Jodie and Dean talked in the garage, Sam gently loosened his grip around you, sensing that you were beginning to calm down. He looked down at you with concern, his brow furrowed with worry.
"Do you think maybe we should get rid of that stupid table?", he asked softly, his voice filled with compassion. He knew how much the sight of it had upset you, and he wanted to do whatever he could to make things right.
You nodded softly, feeling a sense of gratitude wash over you as you looked up at Sam.
"Thank you", you whispered, your voice filled with emotion. "I think that would help".
Jodie clapped her hands together once they entered the kitchen, a bright smile on her face.
"Alright, everyone", she said cheerfully, "we're going to spend some time together. All of us, including my girls".
She explained that they would be driving to the lake, to her grandparents' lake house.
"It's time for some family time. For a little fresh start", she announced, her eyes sparkling with determination.
Summary: I hate summaries, so this is part 3 of "Beyond saving".
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only!, Smut, mention of rape (well, detailed), Language, Angst, Hurt, soft dean (literally), it´s just a loooot
Word Count: 7600
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
As another week has passed, Sam entered the kitchen, noticing you sitting alone on the ground, your eyes fixed on the table where Dean had inflicted so much pain upon you. He approached you cautiously, sensing the weight of your emotions hanging heavy in the air.
"Hey", Sam said softly. "How are you holding up?".
You glanced up at him, your eyes weary and filled with sadness. "I'm… I'm trying", you replied hoarsely, your voice barely above a whisper.
Sam sat down beside you, offering a comforting presence as he reached out to gently squeeze your hand. "I know it's not easy", he said sympathetically.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you leaned into Sam's embrace, the weight of your pain almost too much to bear.
"I know it's hard to believe right now, but Dean still loves you", he said gently. "He's hurting too, maybe even more than you realize. He hates himself for what he's done to you, for what the demonic version of himself did. It wasn't the real Dean, you know that, right?".
You nodded slowly, tears brimming in your eyes as you struggle to come to terms with Sam's words. "I want to believe that. But it's so hard, Sam. Every time I look at him, all I can see is… is what he did to me".
"I know", he mumbled. "But you have to remember that Dean would do anything to take back what happened, to make things right between you two. He's fighting his own demons right now, just like you are. And I know that deep down, he's still the man you fell in love with".
"I know it's going to take time", he said gently. "But I truly believe that you and Dean can find your way back to each other. You've been through so much together, and I know that love doesn't just disappear overnight".
"Thank you, Sam", you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't know what I would do without you".
Sam smiled warmly, giving your hand another reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to thank me. We're family, and family looks out for each other. We'll get through this together, I promise".
As the days passed, you found yourself greeted each morning by the aroma of freshly prepared meals and the sight of a bouquet of flowers adorning your doorstep. With each delivery, your heart ached with a mixture of longing and hesitation, unsure of how to respond to Dean's gestures of remorse and affection.
Yet, despite your reservations, you couldn't deny the sincerity of his efforts. Each handwritten note contained memories of the happiest moments you had shared together, reminding you of the love and joy that had once filled your relationship.
With each meal and each note, Dean sought to bridge the gap between you, to remind you of the bond that had once bound you together. And though you remained guarded, the warmth of his gestures began to thaw the icy walls around your heart, slowly but surely.
As you sat alone in your room, reading through Dean's heartfelt words and savoring the meals he had prepared, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope stirring within you. Perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation after all. And with that thought in mind, you found yourself daring to believe in the possibility of a brighter future, one where love and trust could prevail over pain and sorrow.
As the days passed, you found yourself slowly opening up to the idea of letting him back into your life, of giving him a chance to make amends for the pain he had caused.
With each meal he prepared and each note he left, Dean showed you that he was willing to do whatever it took to earn your forgiveness and rebuild the trust that had been shattered.
Two weeks later, as Sam ordered Pizza, Dean made his way towards sam and the delicious smell. As Dean reached for the pizza, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. Startled, he turned to see you sitting next to Sam, your gaze fixed on your hands clasped tightly in your lap. For a moment, he hesitated, unsure of what to do or say.
But then, a flicker of hope ignited within him as he realized what this moment meant. After weeks of isolation and silence, you had finally taken a step forward.
With cautious optimism, Dean approached you, his movements slow and deliberate. He sat down beside you, careful not to startle you, his heart pounding with uncertainty.
"Hey", he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's, uh, it's good to see you".
You glanced up at him, your eyes meeting his briefly before flickering away. Dean's heart ached at the sight of your pain.
As the dinner progressed, a heavy silence hung in the air, broken only by the occasional clinking of utensils against plates. Dean tried to muster up the courage to speak, to break the tension that seemed to suffocate the room, but the words caught in his throat.
Your gaze fixed on your plate, unable to meet Dean's eyes or engage in conversation. Every fiber of your being screamed with discomfort, your stomach churning with anxiety from being in such close proximity to him.
Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his heart heavy with guilt and regret. He longed to reach out to you, to apologize for everything he had put you through, but he knew that words alone would never be enough to mend the damage he had caused.
Finally, unable to bear the suffocating silence any longer, Sam cleared his throat, breaking the tension with a forced smile. "So, uh, how's the pizza?", he asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from the elephant in the room.
You shrugged, not trusting yourself to speak, your throat tight with emotion. Dean swallowed hard, his own discomfort palpable as he forced himself to take a bite of his pizza, the taste turning to ash in his mouth.
Despite his best efforts to push aside his guilt and make things right, Dean couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled over him like a dark cloud. As the dinner dragged on, he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever be able to truly make amends for the pain he had caused you.
As the tension lingered, Sam attempted to lighten the mood with small talk, but his efforts fell flat against the weight of the unspoken turmoil between you and Dean. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, the heaviness in the air suffocating.
Dean's heart ached with every glance he stole in your direction, the sight of your pain etched into every line of your face piercing him like a knife. He wanted nothing more than to reach out to you, to beg for your forgiveness.
For you, the meal was a torturous ordeal, you struggled to suppress the torrent of emotions threatening to consume you.
After dinner, Sam tentatively suggested watching a movie together, hoping to provide a distraction from the heavy atmosphere that lingered between you and Dean. He could see the strain etched on both of your faces and desperately wanted to find a way to bring a sense of normalcy back to your lives.
You hesitated, the thought of spending more time in Dean's presence filling you with dread. But with a small nod from Sam, you reluctantly agreed.
As Sam set up the movie, you and Dean found yourselves sitting on opposite ends of the couch, a palpable distance separating you. The air was thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension, but for the moment, you both focused on the screen in front of you, allowing the movie to serve as a temporary escape from the turmoil that surrounded you.
Despite the heaviness that still hung in the air, there was a glimmer of hope in Sam's eyes as he watched the two of you attempt to coexist in the same space. He knew that healing would take time and effort, but he was determined to do whatever it took to bring his family back together, one small step at a time. And as the movie played on, he silently prayed that tonight would mark the beginning of a new chapter for all of you.
As the movie played on, Dean found it nearly impossible to tear his gaze away from you, his heart aching with every fleeting glance he stole in your direction.
A torrent of guilt and remorse washed over him, threatening to drown him in its depths.
In that moment, Dean would have given anything to ease your suffering, to take away the pain that he had inflicted upon you. If cutting out his own heart and offering it to you would mean healing your wounded soul, he would do it in a heartbeat.
But as he sat there, watching you, he felt utterly powerless, his own torment mirrored in your tear-stained eyes.
Another week passed, and tentatively, you began to open up to Dean once more. Your heart clenched with uncertainty as you heard his voice, but you knew that avoiding him forever would only prolong the pain for both of you. So, you found yourselves sitting across from each other at the large map-table.
Dean's question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions. "Are you able to sleep again?", he asked, his voice laced with concern and regret.
You hesitated for a moment, the memories of sleepless nights and haunted dreams flooding back to you. But then, with a small nod, you found the strength to answer. "Yeah, I am", you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
It was a small victory, but it felt like a significant step forward.
"I'm so sorry", he whispered, his words heavy with regret. "I can't even begin to express how sorry I am for what I did to you".
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself as you met his gaze. "You hurt me, Dean", you said, your voice quivering with emotion. "You hurt me in ways I never thought possible".
Dean's expression crumpled, his heart breaking as he listened to your words. "I know", he murmured, his voice choked with tears. "I know and I hate myself for it".
"You… you raped me, Dean", you continued, the words catching in your throat. "You violated me in the worst possible way".
Tears fell down Dean's face as he listened to your confession, the weight of his actions bearing down on him like a crushing weight. "I'm so sorry", he repeated. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you".
You took a shaky breath, your heart heavy with pain. "I want you to understand", you said, your voice wavering with emotion. "I want you to understand what you did to me".
"You shoved me against the table, Dean. You didn't care that I was begging you to stop. You didn't care that I was in pain".
Dean´s voice choked with tears. "I know, I know. I was a monster. I should have never—". But you cut him off. "You broke my wrists, Dean. Do you even realize how much that hurt? Every time I moved, every time I tried to do anything, I was in agony".
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never should have touched you".
By now, your voice was trembling with emotion. "And my ribs, Dean. You broke them too. Every breath felt like knives stabbing into my chest. I couldn't even breathe without feeling like I was going to pass out". Tears started streaming down your face.
"And then you… you fucked me until I bled, Dean. Do you understand what you did to me? Do you understand how much pain you caused?". You paused. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you, Dean. But I want you to know… I want you to know what you did to me".
Dean sat there with teary eyes and wet cheeks, his heart breaking with each word that fell from your lips. He listened to the pain in your voice, the anguish in your eyes.
Every detail you recounted of the horrors he had inflicted upon you pierced his soul like a thousand knives. He couldn't bear to look away, couldn't bear to turn his gaze from your tear-streaked face.
In that moment, he felt the weight of his actions crush him with a force he had never known before. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, to hold you close. But he knew that he didn't deserve it, knew that he had caused you too much pain to ever be worthy of your love again.
All he could do was sit there, his heart heavy with regret, and pray that somehow, someday, he could find a way to make amends for the irreparable damage he had done.
"I lay there for hours", you confessed, the memories still vivid in your mind. "I couldn't move, couldn't even catch my breath. Every inch of my body was screaming in pain, and all I could do was lie there and pray for it to end".
You continue, your voice laced with bitterness and sorrow. "After that, I stopped looking for you", you admit, the words heavy on your tongue. "I stopped trying to save you, stopped caring".
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of your words sinking in.
Dean's eyes glistened with unshed tears as he listened to your words, his knuckles white from the tight grip he held on his emotions. "I wanted to kill myself", he confessed in a voice barely above a whisper. "That's how much I hated myself for what I did to you".
Your words cut through the heavy silence like a knife, each syllable dripping with the bitterness of your pain. "I'm already dead because of what you did to me", you said, your voice laced with a coldness that sent a shiver down Dean's spine.
His eyes closed in anguish, the weight of your words bearing down on him like a crushing burden. You were his everything, the love of his life, and the thought of spending his days without you was unbearable.
"I wanted to marry you, to build a future together", Dean whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I wanted to have children with you, to grow old with you by my side. But I… I broke you".
The pain and heartache radiating from him was palpable, and despite your own suffering, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of empathy for the man who had once held your heart in his hands.
"I know", you finally replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know you're hurting, Dean. But… but what you did to me, it's something I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive".
Dean's shoulders sagged with the weight of your words, his gaze dropping to the floor as he struggled to contain his emotions.
"I understand", he said softly, his voice tinged with regret. "I don't expect you to forgive me, not after what I've done".
During the following two weeks, Dean spared no effort to demonstrate that he was no longer the monster he had once been. He cooked for you, cleaned the bunker without being asked, and even went out of his way to avoid any situation that might make you uncomfortable. Every gesture was infused with a desperate longing for redemption, a silent plea for your forgiveness.
As you sat in the TV room, enveloped by the soft glow of the screen, a bowl of popcorn nestled in your lap, you felt a sense of tentative peace settle over you. It was the first evening Dean and you had been alone since Sam and Cas had left on their hunt, and for once, the weight of the past seemed to lift ever so slightly from your shoulders.
Lost in the movie playing before you, you barely noticed when Dean appeared in the doorway. His eyes lingered on you, filled with longing.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. But then, with a hesitant step forward, Dean cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence that had settled over the room.
"Mind if I join you?", he asked, his voice tentative as he gestured to the empty space beside you on the couch.
You hesitated, torn between the desire to push him away and the faint glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different this time. After a moment's pause, you nodded silently, scooting over to make room for him on the couch.
As Dean settled in beside you, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, his eyes softening with gratitude and relief.
Dean watched you, his gaze lingering on your profile as you became engrossed in the movie playing on the screen. A flicker of recognition crossed his features as he realized it was the same movie from your first night together in the bunker—the night when everything had felt so new and full of promise.
"You remember this?", he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he glanced at you, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes.
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as memories of that night flooded back. "Yeah", you replied, your voice tinged with warmth. "It feels like a lifetime ago".
Dean's expression softened at your words, sadness clouding his features. "I miss those days", he admitted. "I miss us".
You turned to look at him. "I miss us too", you whispered.
For a moment, the two of you sat in silence, lost in memories of happier times.
Dean hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hope or forgiveness. "Are you willing to give me another chance?", he asked quietly. "All I want is to make things right, to hold you in my arms and ease your pain. I want to heal what I destroyed, to show you that I'm not the same person I was back then".
You felt a tug at your heartstrings as you looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and regret reflected in their depths. Part of you wanted to believe him. But another part of you was still wary, still hesitant to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt again.
"I don't know, Dean", you admitted. "I want to believe that you're capable of being the man I once loved. But… I'm scared. Scared of getting hurt again".
Dean's heart sank at your words. "I understand", he said softly, his voice tinged with sadness. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, to show you that I'm worthy of a second chance. Just… please don't give up on me".
As you sat there, grappling with the tumultuous emotions swirling inside you, memories of your past with Dean flooded your mind. You couldn't deny the depth of your love for him, even now, despite the pain and betrayal you had endured.
You remembered the way he used to make you laugh, the warmth of his embrace, and the way his touch could make your heart race with excitement. Despite everything that had happened, a part of you still longed for those moments of intimacy and connection that you had once shared with him.
But alongside the memories of love and happiness, there was also the lingering shadow of pain. You couldn't forget the agony of that fateful night, the way Dean had shattered your trust and left you broken and bruised.
Yet, as you looked into his eyes now, you saw the same love and longing reflected back at you.
Dean's voice trembled with emotion as he opened up to you, his words raw and filled with longing. "I've missed you so much", he mumbled. "I miss the way you used to sleep on my chest, your soft breathing. I miss the sound of your laughter, the way it could light up a room and make all the darkness disappear".
He reached out tentatively, as if afraid you might pull away, and gently brushed a strand of hair from your face. "Without you, I'm lost".
You felt a tug at your heartstrings as you listened to his words, seeing the pain and vulnerability in his eyes. Despite everything that had happened between you, you couldn't deny the depth of his love for you, or the longing in his voice as he spoke of wanting to make things right.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you locked eyes with Dean, his gaze searching yours with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. A whirlwind of emotions churned inside you—fear, longing, uncertainty—each vying for dominance as you grappled with the decision before you.
Part of you wanted to pull away, to retreat into the safety of your own walls and protect yourself from the possibility of being hurt again. But another part of you, a part that still held onto the memories of love and happiness you had shared with Dean, yearned for connection, for healing, for the chance to rebuild what had been broken between you.
And so, with trembling hands and a heart that threatened to burst from your chest, you leaned in slowly, ever so slowly, towards Dean. Each inch felt like an eternity, the weight of your decision heavy on your shoulders as you closed the distance between you.
As your lips met his in a tentative kiss, a surge of emotion washed over you, overwhelming in its intensity. It was a moment of vulnerability, of raw honesty, as you allowed yourself to let go of the pain and hurt that had consumed you for so long.
You cupped Dean's face in your hands, feeling the rough stubble beneath your fingertips as you leaned into the kiss, savoring the warmth of his lips against yours.
Dean hesitated for a moment, unsure where to place his hands, afraid of scaring you away with too much intimacy. His heart clenched at the touch of your lips, a familiar ache settling in his chest as he finally felt the softness of your kiss again after so long.
Despite the pain that lingered in your heart, there was a sense of comfort in Dean's embrace, a familiarity that whispered of happier times gone by. For a moment, the world fell away as you lost yourself in the sweetness of the moment, each kiss a silent promise of hope and redemption.
But beneath the surface, there was still a lingering sense of uncertainty, a fear of the unknown that threatened to overshadow the fragile connection you were trying to rebuild. And yet, as you pulled away from the kiss, a glimmer of hope flickered in your heart.
With a shaky, uncertain voice, you whispered the words that had been lingering on the tip of your tongue, the silent plea of your heart reaching out to him. "Hold me", you said, your voice barely above a whisper, the words trembling with the weight of your uncertainty.
Dean's heart skipped a beat at your request, his chest tightening with a mixture of hope and fear. Without a moment's hesitation, he pulled you into his arms, holding you close against his chest as though afraid you might slip away if he let go.
You buried your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of his skin as tears welled in your eyes.
Dean's hands trembled as he gingerly brushed over your back, his touch tentative yet filled with a quiet tenderness. With each gentle stroke, he tried to convey the depth of his remorse, the ache in his heart mirrored in the way his fingers traced soothing patterns against your trembling form.
You clung to him tightly, your tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt as you let out the pain and anguish. Your body shook with the force of your sobs, the emotional turmoil threatening to consume you entirely.
With a tenderness born of regret and longing, Dean pulled you closer to him, his lips hovering over your forehead as he held you in his embrace. His touch was gentle, his fingers tracing soothing circles along your back as you continued to sob against his chest.
Tears welled in Dean's eyes as he looked down at you, his heart heavy with the weight of his past mistakes and the knowledge of the pain he had caused you.
"I love you", he whispered softly, his voice filled with emotion. "More than anything in this world. I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, for the pain I've caused. But please know that my love for you has never faltered, not for a single moment".
As you looked up at him, your tear-stained cheeks and trembling lips betraying the turmoil within you, Dean's thumb gently brushed away your tears with a tenderness that spoke volumes. His eyes searched yours, silently asking for permission, for reassurance that this fragile moment of connection wouldn't shatter beneath the weight of your shared past.
With a trembling breath, you leaned into his touch, your heart pounding in your chest as his lips met yours once more. The kiss was featherlight, tentative yet filled with an undeniable longing—a silent plea for forgiveness, for understanding, for a chance to start anew.
As the kiss deepened, the world around you faded into oblivion, leaving only the two of you entwined in a moment of raw emotion and longing. With a newfound sense of courage, you straddled Dean's legs, your hands finding their way to his cheeks as you deepened the kiss, your lips moving with a desperate urgency born of years of pent-up emotion and longing.
Dean's hands remained at his sides, a silent testament to his fear of causing you further pain or discomfort. He was surprised by your boldness, by the intensity of your kiss, but he dared not move, afraid that any sudden gesture might startle you and send you fleeing from his arms once more.
Instead, he surrendered to the moment, allowing himself to be consumed by the warmth of your lips, the softness of your touch.
As the kiss intensified, your tongue seeking entrance to his mouth, you felt a surge of desire coursing through your veins. Your hands roamed over Dean's broad shoulders, urging him to reciprocate, to touch you in return. Yet, he remained still, his hands trembling slightly at his sides as if unsure of what to do.
But then, as you pressed closer, seeking the warmth and comfort of his embrace, you felt it—a hardness pressing against you, eliciting a gasp of surprise from your lips. Dean's erection, unmistakable beneath the thin fabric of your pajamas, sent a jolt of electricity coursing through your body, freezing you in place.
For a moment, you were paralyzed, unsure of how to proceed. The realization of what was happening between you, of the undeniable attraction and desire that pulsed between your bodies, sent your mind reeling. Could this be happening? Could Dean still desire you, after everything that had transpired between you?
But before you could gather your thoughts, Dean's voice broke through.
"I… I'm sorry", Dean murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he struggled to find the right words. "I didn't mean to… I just…".
His voice trailed off, his gaze dropping to the floor as if unable to meet your eyes. You could see the conflict etched on his face, the turmoil raging within him as he grappled with his own desires and fears.
"It's okay", you whispered, your voice trembling slightly as you reached out to cup his cheek, gently guiding his gaze back to yours.
But even as you spoke the words, uncertainty gnawed at the edges of your mind. Could you truly forgive Dean for what he had done? Could you trust him again, after the pain and betrayal he had inflicted upon you?
As you took Dean's hands in yours, feeling the tremble of your own shaking fingers, you guided them slowly and cautiously to your hips. The simple act of touch sent a jolt of electricity through both of you, causing Dean's heart to race and his body to react with a twitch of arousal.
But despite the undeniable chemistry between you, Dean remained hesitant, his eyes searching yours for any sign of uncertainty or discomfort. He wanted to be sure, absolutely sure, that you were okay with this, that you were ready to take this step together.
For a moment, the air between you crackled with tension, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the space between your bodies. But then, as you met his gaze with unwavering determination, Dean felt a surge of courage welling up inside him.
With a shaky breath, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against yours in a tentative kiss. It was soft, gentle, a silent promise of all the things left unsaid between you.
Dean's voice trembled as he spoke, his words laced with both desire and restraint. "Do you… Do you want to go to our bedroom?", he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation or reluctance.
You felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you at his words, a mixture of longing and apprehension swirling in your chest. The idea of being alone with Dean in the intimacy of your shared bedroom filled you with both excitement and trepidation, a reminder of the love and passion that had once defined your relationship.
But as you looked into Dean's eyes, seeing the vulnerability, you knew that this was a chance for healing, for closure, for the two of you to finally confront the demons of your past and forge a path forward together.
With a nod, you reached out to take his hand in yours, squeezing it gently as you rose to your feet. "Yes", you whispered.
Dean walked slowly, his footsteps deliberate and measured, as if he were afraid to rush or startle you. His hand, warm and comforting, brushed against yours in a gentle caress, a silent reassurance of his presence by your side.
As you followed behind him, the hallway stretched out before you like an endless expanse, each step echoing the rhythm of your racing heart.
And as Dean finally reached the door to your bedroom, he turned to look at you, his eyes soft with emotion. Without a word, he reached out and gently pushed the door open, inviting you into the sanctuary of your shared space.
With a shaky breath, you stepped across the threshold, the weight of the past hanging heavy in the air around you. But as Dean closed the door behind you, shutting out the outside world, you felt a sense of peace settle over you.
Dean hesitated for a moment. "Is it okay if I… if I pick you up?", he asked softly.
You nodded slowly, your own voice barely above a whisper as you replied, "Yes, that's okay".
With a gentle smile, Dean reached out and scooped you up in his arms, his touch surprisingly tender as he cradled you against his chest. Despite the years that had passed, the memory of his strength and warmth flooded back to you, comforting and familiar.
As he carried you across the room, his movements slow and deliberate, you felt a sense of trust and safety wash over you, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that still existed between you.
And as he carefully lowered you onto the bed, his touch was feather-light against your skin.
As Dean hovered halfway over you, he hesitated, his voice trembling with nerves as he asked, "Would… would it be better if you were on top?".
You noticed the veins on his throat and arms standing out, evidence of the effort he was exerting to hold back for you. "It's alright", he mumbled. "If you want to be on top, it's fine".
His eyes searched yours for a moment, before you nodded slowly and before Dean lowered himself down beside you, his body trembling with anticipation and desire.
Dean´s fingers trembling slightly as he began to undo the buttons of your pajama shirt.
With a gentle touch, he lowered his mouth to your neck, trailing soft kisses along your skin as his hand slipped beneath the fabric of your shirt, his touch sending shivers down your spine.
"Are you okay?", he asked softly, his voice laced with concern as he brushed the shirt off your shoulders, revealing your naked breasts to him.
You met his gaze with a mixture of emotions swirling in your eyes—vulnerability, longing, and a hint of fear. But despite the tumultuous storm raging within you, you nodded slowly, offering him a small, reassuring smile. "I'm okay", you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper as you reached out to cup his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips.
With a gentle touch, Dean leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss, his hands trailing down your body as he continued to undress you, his touch both reverent and filled with longing.
As you straddled his la, got rid of his shirt and pulled Dean closer, your body pressed against his, you feel the warmth of his skin against yours, sending shivers down your spine. Your nipples graze against his now naked chest, eliciting a soft moan from both of you. Dean's arousal, evident and undeniable, presses eagerly against you.
Dean's hand ventured beneath your pajama pants, his touch sending tingles of anticipation through your body. As his fingers brushed against your skin, he realized you weren't wearing underwear, and a soft gasp escaped his lips. His hand hovered tantalizingly close to your pussy, his breath coming in shallow, ragged bursts.
"Can I touch you there?", he asked quietly.
Dean's heart skipped a beat as he watched you nod slowly, your breath heavy and your heart racing in sync with his own. The anticipation hung thick in the air, a palpable tension that seemed to crackle with electricity. With a nervous bite of your lip, you gave him the permission he sought, sending a surge of desire coursing through his veins.
His hand trembled slightly as it moved lower, tracing the contours of your soft folds. You let out a soft moan of pleasure, your body arching instinctively towards his touch.
Dean's touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. With each gentle stroke, he teased and tantalized, his fingers dancing over your most intimate parts with a skill that left you breathless. Your head spun with desire as he explored every inch of you, driving you to the brink of ecstasy with each passing moment.
As the heat between you grew, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you locked in a passionate embrace. In that moment, there was nothing else that mattered—no past, no future, only the raw, primal desire that burned between you.
As Dean felt the warmth and wetness between your thighs, he knew you were ready. With slow, deliberate movements, he began to ease down your pajama pants, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched for any sign of discomfort or hesitation.
"You okay?", he murmured softly, his voice laced with concern as he continued to undress you.
You nodded eagerly, your breath coming in short, ragged bursts as you struggled to contain your desire. "Yes, Dean", you whispered. "I want this".
With a final tug, your pants were discarded, leaving you completely exposed before him. And as Dean rid himself of his own sweatpants and boxers, you couldn't help but marvel at the sight of him—powerful and virile, his desire evident in every line and curve of his body.
Your breath hitched as you caught sight of Dean's erection, fear and uncertainty flashing in your eyes as he hovered above you. Sensing your hesitation, Dean froze, his own desire momentarily forgotten as he looked down at you with concern.
"Are you okay?", he asked softly, his voice filled with tenderness as he searched your eyes for any sign of discomfort or unease.
You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to find your voice. "I'm just… I'm scared", you admitted.
Dean's expression softened, a look of understanding and compassion flickering in his eyes. "I won't hurt you, I promise", he whispered. "I'll go as slow as you need me to".
Feeling reassured by his words, you let out a shaky breath, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Thank you", you murmured, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart.
As Dean continued to kiss you, his lips soft and gentle against yours, you couldn't help but feel a sense of tension and apprehension creeping into your body. Despite his best efforts to reassure you, you remained nervous and tense, unable to fully let go of the fear that still lingered within you.
Sensing your unease, Dean pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours again. When he saw the hurt reflected in your gaze, his heart clenched.
"What can I do to help you relax?", he asked softly, his voice filled with genuine concern. "I want to make this special for you, to show you how much I care. Just tell me what you need, and I'll do it".
You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to express the turmoil raging within you. But then, with a shaky breath, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "I need… I need you to be patient with me", you admitted, your words tinged with vulnerability. "I need you to understand that I'm still scared. And I need you to hold me, to reassure me that everything will be okay".
Without a word, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest in a tight embrace. And as you melted into his arms, you felt a sense of comfort and safety wash over you, the tension slowly beginning to ebb away in the warmth of his embrace.
"I'll be gentle, I promise", he murmured, his voice soothing and tender. "We'll go slow, at your pace. Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?".
You nodded, a sense of trust and gratitude washing over you as you buried your face in his chest. "Okay", you whispered.
With a gentle sigh, Dean leaned down and captured your lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. His touch was soft and tentative, his lips moving against yours with a tender reverence that made your heart flutter.
As the kiss deepened, you felt his erection pressing against your wet folds, the sensation sending shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. Despite your lingering apprehension, you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry between you, the desire that burned hot and fierce between your bodies.
With a soft moan, you pressed yourself against him, your hips rocking instinctively against his, seeking the delicious friction that would ease the ache deep within you.
Dean’s breath was heavy with anticipation as he looked down at you, his eyes burning with desire and longing. “Can I…?”, he began, nodding towards his between the two of you. His hand moved to his shaft, as if to emphasize his need.
Your heart raced at the thought of finally feeling him inside you again, of surrendering yourself to the passion and intensity of your shared desire. But a flicker of uncertainty danced in your eyes, a lingering reminder of the pain and heartache that had once torn you apart.
“I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with”, he assured you. “I just want to make you feel good, to show you how much I love you”.
With a shaky nod, you reached out and took his hand in yours, guiding him towards you. As his lips met yours in a passionate kiss, you felt the heat and urgency of his desire washing over you, igniting a fire deep within your core.
As Dean pressed slowly inside you, his movements careful and measured as he sought to ease your discomfort. But as he felt you wince beneath him, he immediately stopped, concern flashing in his eyes.
“Are you okay?”, he asked softly, his voice filled with worry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you met Dean’s gaze. “It’s okay”, you assured him, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. “I just… I need a moment”.
Dean nodded understandingly, his heart aching at the sight of your discomfort. “I’ll stop”, he whispered, his voice filled with regret. “I should have been more patient with you, especially after… after everything”.
You reached out and placed a hand on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your palm. “You’ve always been patient with me”, you murmured, your voice filled with gratitude and love. “Even before that awful night”.
Dean’s eyes softened at your words. “I just want to make things right”, he whispered.
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. "I want you to go on", you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I want to replace those memories of that terrible night with something beautiful, something loving".
Dean's eyes widened in surprise, his heart swelling. "Are you sure?".
You nodded, your gaze never wavering as you met his eyes with unwavering determination. "I'm sure", you whispered. "I want this, Dean. I want us".
As Dean slowly pushed himself inside you, the sensation of being filled with him once again sent shivers down your spine. You moaned softly and breathlessly, your body instinctively responding to his touch. But just as Dean buried himself completely within you, the memories of that terrible night crashed over him like a tidal wave.
His movements faltered, his breath catching in his throat as he felt the weight of his past mistakes bearing down on him. Closing his eyes tightly, he tried to push the memories aside, to focus on the here and now, on the love and desire that flowed between you. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape the haunting images that lingered in the depths of his mind.
Feeling himself going soft again inside you, Dean’s heart clenched with frustration and self-loathing. He wanted nothing more than to give you pleasure, to show you how much he loved you, but the ghosts of his past refused to release their grip on him.
With a heavy sigh, Dean pulled away from you. “I’m sorry”, he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I just… I can’t do this right now”.
His gaze full of shame, as he got up from the bed and started to get dressed.
As you pulled up the blanket, your heart sank at the sight of Dean's retreating figure. Anxiety gnawed at your insides as you watched him hastily get dressed, his movements tense and hurried. A thousand thoughts raced through your mind, each one more tumultuous than the last.
Was it something you did? Something you said? Was your hesitation the reason he couldn't stay hard? The weight of your own self-doubt threatened to suffocate you as you struggled to make sense of the situation.
Dean couldn't even look at you right now, so consumed was he by his own guilt and remorse.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you watched him hastily getting dressed, his actions leaving you feeling confused and hurt. The weight of your own self-doubt pressed down on you like a heavy burden as you struggled to make sense of what had just happened.
“Did I do something wrong?”, you asked, your voice trembling with emotion as you fought to keep the tears at bay. “Was it because of me?”.
Dean paused, his hand hovering over his belt as he turned to face you. For a moment, it looked like he wanted to say something, to reassure you that it wasn’t your fault. But before he could utter a word, the door swung open, and Sam burst into the room, his eyes widening in surprise at the sight before him.
Misinterpreting the situation, Sam’s eyes darted between you and Dean, confusion evident on his face. “What’s going on?”, he asked, his voice tinged with concern as he took in the scene before him.
This is apparently what I get for trying to be clever with screenshots of my Sims.
First, Dean was fricken over it after I'd spent 10,000 years trying to figure out posing mods and positioning. You can't see it because I wasn't capturing the user interface at the time, but he was thinking about eating a steak and having a lie down. Poor preggo baby.
Then it started raining, so I sent Dean inside to have some food, but as I was finding something for Sam to do, he got STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. And because this fool is apparently as out of his mind as a Sim as in the show, he was TOTALLY STOKED ABOUT IT.
Yeah, no shit you're energised, you just had about 300 million volts through your body, ya dickhead!
Honestly. It's a good thing I made them unkillable. For accuracy's sake. Obviously.
Summary: Dean is back and no longer a demon. But with all the emotions he has to deal with now, he would rather die.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: Mention of rape, Language, Angst, Hurt
Word Count: 5518
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
As the hours stretched on, the pain seemed to deepen, sinking into your bones and settling in your soul. At first, you lay on the floor, tears flowing freely as you grappled with the overwhelming sense of despair that threatened to consume you.
But as time passed, a numbness set in, dulling the sharp edges of your agony and enveloping you in a cold, empty void. You lay there, lost in the darkness of your own thoughts, the weight of your suffering pressing down on you like a leaden blanket.
After hours and with trembling limbs and tears streaming down your face, you forced yourself to your feet, the pain in your broken wrists and ribs a constant reminder of the brutality you had endured.
With each step, you felt the weight of your pain bearing down on you, threatening to crush you beneath its unbearable burden.
You made your way towards the bathroom, each movement filled with agony.
As you sank into the warm embrace of the bathtub, the water enveloped you like a soothing balm, offering a brief respite from the relentless ache that gripped your body. But even as the comforting embrace of the water washed over you, the pain remained.
Your wrists throbbed with a dull, persistent ache, the broken bones protesting with every movement. Each breath sent sharp spikes of pain shooting through your ribs, the fractured bones protesting against the strain of simply existing. And between your legs, your pussy throbbed with a raw, tender soreness, a painful reminder of Dean's brutal assault.
As you lay there, staring blankly at the water stained crimson with your own blood, you couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness wash over you. It wasn't just your body that bore the scars of Dean's cruelty, but your heart and soul as well.
Your face bore the imprint of his violence, your Skin bruised and swollen. And beneath the water, your bruised buttocks throbbed with pain, the memory of his forceful kneel still fresh in your mind.
As Sam and Cas returned to the bunker, a sense of urgency filled the air. Sam's heart raced with fear as he noticed the dried blood staining the kitchen floor, his mind racing with dread at the thought of what could have happened to you. Without hesitation, he began knocking frantically on the bathroom door, calling out your name with increasing desperation.
"Y/N, open up!", Sam's voice was filled with concern and panic as he pounded on the door, his hands trembling with fear. "Please, we need to make sure you're okay!".
But there was no response, only silence echoing back at him from the other side of the door. His heart sank as he exchanged a worried glance with Cas, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him like a heavy stone.
"Cas, we need to get this door open", Sam urged, his voice laced with urgency as he turned to his angelic friend for help. "Something's not right. I can feel it".
With a determined nod, Cas focused his powers, channeling his energy into the door with a burst of light. In an instant, the lock clicked open, and Sam pushed the door open with a sense of dread gnawing at his insides.
But as he stepped inside, what he saw took his breath away. There you were, lying motionless in the bathtub, surrounded by water tinged with the faint traces of blood. Sam's heart clenched with fear as he rushed to your side, his hands trembling as he reached out to touch you.
"Y/N, can you hear me?", Sam's voice was thick with emotion as he gently shook your shoulder, his eyes wide with fear. "Please, say something. Anything".
But you remained silent, your eyes vacant and distant as you stared blankly ahead. Sam's heart sank as he realized the depth of your pain.
As Sam pleaded with Cas to heal you, desperation crept into his voice, his eyes pleading with the angel for help. But despite Cas's best efforts, his healing powers seemed ineffective against the depth of your injuries. You looked terrible, completely broken, your body bearing the physical and emotional scars of Dean's cruelty.
Gently, Sam scooped you up in his arms, wrapping a towel around you with Cas's help, mindful of your fragile state.
As he held you close, he could feel the weight of your pain pressing against him. With each sob that wracked your body, his heart broke a little more, his own tears mingling with yours as he whispered words of comfort and reassurance.
"You're safe now, Y/N", Sam murmured softly.
With each step, each movement, you cried out in pain, your broken body unable to withstand even the slightest touch.
Again Cas tried to heal you. His touch enveloped your broken body, his powers surging forth with a gentle glow. With a focused determination, he began to mend the shattered bones in your wrists and ribs, his efforts slowly easing the physical pain that wracked your body.
As the warmth of his healing magic spread through you, you felt a glimmer of relief wash over you, the sharp edges of your agony blunted by his divine intervention. But even as your physical wounds began to heal, the scars that marred your soul remained untouched, a constant reminder of the darkness that had consumed you.
With a heavy heart, Cas realized the limitations of his power. Despite his best efforts, he could mend your broken bones, but the wounds that lay within you ran far deeper than he could reach.
"I've done what I can for your injuries", Cas murmured softly, his voice filled with regret as he regarded you with a solemn gaze. "But healing your soul… that will take time".
Sam's heart ached as he watched you, his own eyes filled with a mixture of compassion and sorrow. He longed
Three long weeks passed before you found the strength to speak again, the weight of your silence bearing down on you like a heavy burden. With trembling lips, you finally opened up to Sam, your voice barely above a whisper as you recounted the horrors that Dean had inflicted upon you.
"I… I couldn't stop him", you began, your voice trembling with emotion as you struggled to find the words to convey the depth of your suffering. "Dean… he… he hurt me, Sam. He hurt me in ways I can't even begin to describe".
Sam's eyes filled with tears as he listened to your words, his heart breaking with each revelation. He reached out to you, his hand offering silent support as you continued to speak, recounting the brutality of Dean's actions with a raw honesty that left him reeling.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N", Sam whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I had no idea… I never thought Dean could… could do something like that".
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to come to terms with the reality of what had happened. "I… I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him", you admitted, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at him the same way again".
From that moment on, everything changed. The lightness and laughter that had once filled the bunker were replaced by a heavy silence, the weight of your pain casting a shadow over everything you did. Even the thought of Dean filled you with a sense of dread and betrayal, and you found yourself withdrawing further and further into yourself, your hope for redemption slipping away with each passing day.
Six months had passed since Sam had succeeded in healing Dean from the darkness of his demonhood. As Sam carefully uncuffed him in the dimly lit basement, a sense of trepidation hung heavy in the air. Dean’s first question, as the shackles fell away, was for you.
“Where is she?”, Dean’s voice was filled with a mixture of concern and longing as he scanned the room, searching for any sign of your presence. But Sam’s expression remained firm, his resolve unyielding as he stood between Dean and the truth.
“Not now, Dean”, Sam replied gently, his voice tinged with sadness. “She’s… she’s not ready to see you yet”.
Dean's heart sank at Sam's words, a heavy weight settling in his chest at the thought of your absence. "I understand", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm… I'm not sure I'm ready to see her either. Not after what I did".
Sam's gaze softened with empathy as he looked at his brother, understanding the depth of Dean's guilt and remorse. "She's been struggling, Dean", he explained gently, his voice filled with concern. "It hasn't been easy for her these past six months. She's… she's hurt".
Dean's jaw tightened as he listened to Sam's words, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him like a leaden weight. "I know", he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "And it's all my fault".
Sam reached out, placing a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder. "We'll get through this together, Dean", he reassured him, his voice steady despite the turmoil raging within him. "But it's going to take time. It's going to take a lot of work to earn back her trust".
As you entered your room, after a few days at Jodie´s, the familiar scent of Dean enveloped you, sending a shiver down your spine. It was a scent you had once found comforting, a reminder of the love and connection you shared with him. But now, it filled you with a sense of unease, dredging up painful memories that you had tried so hard to bury.
Unaware that Dean was back and healed, you began to unpack your belongings, your mind drifting back to the last time you had been in this room together. The memory of his touch, his laughter, and the warmth of his embrace lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what had been lost.
Little did you know, Dean had been there just moments before, his presence lingering like a ghost in the room. He had come seeking solace in the familiar surroundings, hoping to feel some connection to you.
But as you moved about the room, your senses tingling with the weight of his presence, a sense of foreboding washed over you. It was as if the walls themselves were closing in, suffocating you with the memories of a love that had turned sour.
And as you stood there, frozen in place, the realization slowly dawned on you—Dean was back. He was here, in this room, just minutes ago, his presence a haunting reminder of the pain and betrayal you had endured.
Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to come to terms with the truth, the weight of his absence and his return crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You knew that facing him again would reopen wounds, dredging up emotions you had spent months trying to suppress.
As tears streamed down your cheeks, Sam found you frozen in the room, your emotions palpable in the air around you. Concern etched deep lines into Sam's face as he approached, his footsteps slow and deliberate.
"We need to talk", Sam said gently, his voice filled with compassion as he reached out to touch your shoulder.
You turned to face him, your expression a mixture of anguish and resignation. "I already know", you whispered hoarsely, your voice barely above a whisper.
Sam's brow furrowed with concern as he moved closer, his hand lingering on your arm. "Y/N, I know this is hard, but you can't just run away from this", he urged softly, his eyes searching yours for some sign of understanding.
But you were already moving towards the door, your mind clouded with pain and uncertainty. "I can't do this, Sam", you choked out, your voice breaking with emotion. "I can't face him again, not after everything that's happened".
Sam's grip tightened on your arm, his expression filled with determination. "You don't have to face him alone", he insisted, his voice unwavering. "I'll be there with you, every step of the way".
For a moment, you hesitated, torn between the desire to flee and the need to confront the truth. But in the end, it was Sam's unwavering support that gave you the strength to stay.
With a heavy sigh, you nodded, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that bound you together.
As the days passed, the weight of Dean's presence hung heavy in the air, a constant reminder of the turmoil that engulfed your life. Despite Sam's assurances, you couldn't bring yourself to face him, the fear and uncertainty gnawing at your insides like a relentless beast.
Each night, you lay awake in bed, listening to the echoes of Dean's screams as he wrestled with his nightmares. His tortured cries pierced the silence of the night, a haunting melody that echoed through the empty corridors of the bunker.
And during the day, you remained holed up in your room, barricaded behind closed doors as you sought refuge from the chaos that threatened to consume you. The sound of Dean's footsteps outside your door sent shivers down your spine, the fear of his presence paralyzing you with its intensity.
Sleep became a distant memory, your mind plagued by a never-ending carousel of worries and anxieties. Dark circles formed beneath your eyes, a testament to the sleepless nights and endless torment that plagued your every waking moment.
In the kitchen, your hands trembled as you reached for another cup of coffee, the bitter taste a poor substitute for the comfort you so desperately craved.
Cas found you in the kitchen, his concern evident in the furrow of his brow as he took in your tired and worn appearance.
"Y/N, you look exhausted", he remarked softly, his blue eyes filled with worry. "Have you been sleeping at all?".
You shook your head, the weariness weighing heavily on your shoulders. "Not much", you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's been hard to find any peace, especially with him back".
Cas nodded in understanding, his expression sympathetic. "I can imagine", he replied gently. "But you can't keep going on like this. It's not healthy".
Tears welled in your eyes as you confessed your fear. "I'm afraid to sleep", you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "Every time I close my eyes, I hear Dean's screams and footsteps outside my door. I can't bear the thought of facing him again".
"I can stay with you while you sleep, if that would help".
Your heart swelled with gratitude at his offer, a sense of relief washing over you like a wave. "Thank you, Cas", you whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I don't know what I would do without you".
A few hours later, the sound of the bunker door opening signaled the return of Sam and Dean from their hunt. Sam's footsteps echoed through the corridors as he made his way through the bunker, his expression a mix of exhaustion and anticipation.
"Hey, Cas, you here?", Sam called out, his voice carrying down the hallway.
Cas emerged from your room, his gaze meeting Sam's as he stepped into the dimly lit corridor. "Sam", he greeted quietly, his tone somber.
Sam's brow furrowed with concern as he took in Cas's grave expression. "What's going on?", he asked.
Cas hesitated for a moment before speaking, his words measured and deliberate. "Y/N hasn't been sleeping well", he explained, his gaze drifting back to your sleeping form on the bed.
Sam's glanced into the room, his heart sinking at the sight of you curled up on the bed, your face drawn and pale in the soft light.
"What do you mean?", Sam asked, his voice filled with worry.
Cas sighed. "She's been afraid to sleep", he admitted quietly. "So I offered to stay with her while she rests".
"Thank you, Cas", he said sincerely, gratitude evident in his voice. "I'll take over from here".
And as Cas nodded in acknowledgment, Sam stepped into the room, his gaze lingering on your sleeping form with a mixture of concern and tenderness. With Cas's help, he would ensure that you found the peace and rest you so desperately needed.
As Sam and Cas remained in your room, their voices barely above a whisper as they discussed your condition, Dean found himself drawn to the doorway like a moth to a flame. Despite Sam's explicit instructions to stay away, he couldn't resist the urge to see you, to reassure himself that you were okay.
With each hesitant step, Dean's heart pounded in his chest, his footsteps silent on the floor as he approached the room where you lay sleeping. He knew he shouldn't be here, knew he was risking Sam's wrath by defying his orders, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to see you, to make sure you were safe.
As he reached the doorway, Dean's breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. You lay on the bed, your breathing slow and steady, your face peaceful in sleep. For a moment, Dean was transfixed by the sight of you, his heart aching with longing and regret.
But even as he stood there, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him of the pain he had caused you, of the darkness that still lingered within him. He knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness, didn't deserve to be anywhere near you after what he had done.
As Dean turned to leave the room, Sam’s voice cut through the silence like a knife.
“Dean, what the hell are you doing here?”, Sam’s tone was sharp, his eyes flashing with anger as he confronted his brother in the hallway.
Dean froze in his tracks, his heart sinking at the sound of Sam’s voice.
“I just… I needed to see her, Sammy”, Dean replied, his voice heavy with guilt and regret. “I needed to know she was okay”.
"I get that, Dean", Sam said, his voice softer but still tinged with frustration. "But she needs space, especially from you".
Dean nodded, a mix of shame and understanding evident in his eyes. "I know, Sam. I fucking screwed up", he admitted, his voice tight with emotion. "I just… I can't stand the thought of her being in pain and not being able to do anything about it".
Sam sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping as he tried to find the right words. "I know you care about her, Dean", he said gently. "But right now, what she needs most is for you to respect her boundaries. Give her the space she needs to heal".
Dean swallowed hard, the weight of Sam's words sinking in. "I will, Sam. I promise", he vowed, his voice filled with sincerity.
With a nod, Sam gestured for Dean to follow him away from the room. As they walked down the hallway together, Dean couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that weighed heavily on his heart.
One week later, Sam and Dean sat in the library, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air. They had been discussing Dean's time as a demon, the darkness that had consumed him, and the pain he had inflicted on those he cared about.
After a long silence, broken only by the soft crackling of the fireplace, Dean spoke up, his voice choked with tears. "I can't do this", he admitted, his words barely above a whisper. "I can't live with what I've done to her".
Sam's heart sank at the despair in his brother's voice, the anguish written plainly on his face. He reached out a hand, placing it gently on Dean's shoulder, offering what little comfort he could.
"I know it's hard, Dean", Sam said softly, his own voice thick with emotion. "But you can't give up. You have to find a way to live with what you've done, to make things right".
Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I don't know if I can, Sam", he confessed, his voice raw with pain. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to her".
Sam's heart broke for his brother, for the torment he was enduring. He wanted nothing more than to take away Dean's suffering, to ease the burden of guilt that weighed so heavily upon him.
Dean’s voice cracked as he continued, the weight of his confession pressing down on him like a heavy burden. “I hate myself, Sam”, he whispered. “I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is… is what I did to her”.
"I know, Dean”, Sam said softly. “I know it’s hard, but you can’t let it consume you. You’re stronger than this”.
But Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks unchecked. “I don’t feel strong, Sam”, he admitted. “I feel broken. Like I’m irredeemable”.
"I know she'll never forgive me, Sam", he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I don't blame her. What I did… it's unforgivable".
Sam's heart clenched at Dean's admission, the weight of his brother's pain almost too much to bear. "Dean, you can't give up hope", he said gently, his voice filled with compassion. "People can surprise you. You just have to give her time".
But Dean shook his head, his eyes filled with resignation. "I've lost her, Sam", he said, his voice hollow with despair. "I've lost the love of my life, and the respect I had for myself along with it".
Standing in the hallway, you listened silently to the conversation unfolding in the library. The weight of Dean's confession and Sam's comforting words hung heavy in the air, their voices echoing through corridor.
Tears welled in your eyes as you heard Dean's admission of self-hatred and despair. The pain in his voice cut through you like a knife, stirring a mixture of emotions within you. Part of you longed to reach out to him, to offer him solace and forgiveness. But another part of you recoiled at the memories of the trauma he had inflicted upon you, the scars that still lingered both physically and emotionally.
Taking a deep breath, you silently retreated from the hallway, the weight of the conversation heavy on your heart. You knew that healing would take time, for both you and Dean.
Another week passed, the weight of the unresolved tension between you and Dean hanging heavy in the air. Despite Sam and Cas's efforts to provide support and comfort, sleep continued to elude both of you. And as Cas had to leave to attend to other matters, leaving you without his comforting presence, the nights grew even longer and more restless.
One evening, as you stood in kitchen, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting shadows across the room, you reached for a beer from the fridge. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of Dean and the tumultuous emotions that swirled within you.
But before you could retreat to the solitude of your room, the sound of footsteps drew your attention, and you froze as Dean entered the kitchen. The air between you crackled with tension, the weight of the unspoken words and unresolved emotions hanging heavy in the silence.
As you found yourself alone with Dean in the very room where he had caused you so much pain, a wave of fear washed over you, paralyzing you in place. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart hammering against your ribs as though it were trying to escape the confines of your chest. Tears welled in your eyes, blurring your vision as you pressed yourself against the cold surface of the kitchen counter, seeking any semblance of safety and distance from the man who had once been your everything.
For Dean, seeing the raw fear reflected in your eyes was like a dagger to his heart. The weight of his past actions bore down upon him, crushing him with the knowledge of the pain he had caused you. His own eyes filled with tears as he watched you retreat, his heart breaking at the sight of your distress.
Seeing you pressed against the kitchen counter, seeking refuge from him, shattered him in a way he hadn't expected.
"I'm so sorry", Dean whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he took a hesitant step forward, his hands trembling at his sides. "I never wanted to hurt you. I swear, I never meant for any of this to happen".
His words hung heavy in the air, filled with the weight of his sincerity. But he knew that mere words could never erase the pain he had caused you. He longed to reach out to you, to offer you solace and comfort.
As Dean took another step forward, his expression wrought with anguish and regret, you held up a trembling hand, your voice trembling with a mixture of fear and anger.
"Don't… don't come any closer", you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper, yet laced with a palpable sense of urgency. Your cheeks were wet with tears, your entire body trembling with the weight of your emotions. Every fiber of your being recoiled at the thought of him drawing near, the memories of his past actions haunting you like ghosts in the night.
"I can't… I can't do this", you continued, your voice wavering as you struggled to maintain your composure. "Not now, not ever. You… you've broken something inside of me, Dean. Something that can never be fixed".
Your words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the irreparable damage that had been done. The distance between you felt insurmountable, a gaping chasm that stretched on for eternity.
Dean froze in place, his heart breaking at the sound of your trembling voice and the anguish etched across your tear-stained face. He longed to reach out to you, to wrap you in his arms and beg for your forgiveness. But he knew that he had no right to ask for such mercy, not after what he had done to you.
"I don't expect you to forgive me, (Y/N). Not after everything I've done".
His words were heavy with resignation, his gaze cast downward as he grappled with the enormity of his mistakes. The pain in his eyes mirrored your own, a reflection of the shattered pieces of both your hearts.
"I just… I just want you to know that I'm sorry", Dean continued. "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make things right, even if I never earn your forgiveness".
As Sam stumbled into the kitchen, his eyes half-lidded with sleep, he froze in his tracks at the sight before him. The scene that unfolded before his eyes sent a jolt of adrenaline coursing through his veins, instantly banishing the remnants of sleep from his mind.
The sight of you, standing there with tears streaming down your face, your eyes wide with fear, pierced through him like a knife.
"Hey, hey, what's going on?", Sam's voice was soft but urgent as he rushed forward, his eyes flickering between you and Dean, who stood nearby with a look of devastation etched across his features.
The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. His instincts told him that something was seriously wrong.
With a sense of urgency, Sam stepped forward, his gaze never leaving yours as he reached out a comforting hand. "Are you okay", he asked, his voice filled with concern. "What happened?".
With a shaky voice and a forced calmness, you respond to Sam, "Nothing, Sam. Nothing happened". But the tremor in your voice and the haunted look in your eyes betray the truth of your words.
Before Sam could press further, you turn abruptly and practically flee from the kitchen, your heart pounding in your chest as you race towards the safety of your room.
As the door slams shut behind you, the sound reverberates through the quiet bunker. Inside the confines of your room, you collapse onto the bed, tears streaming down your face as you try to quell the storm of emotions raging within you.
Meanwhile, Dean stands in the kitchen, his fists clenched at his sides as he stares at the spot where you had stood only moments before. The silence hangs heavy in the air, broken only by the sound of his ragged breaths and the steady thud of his heart.
With a growl of frustration, Dean lashes out, his fist colliding with the wall with enough force to leave a sizable dent. Pain shoots through his hand, but it pales in comparison to the anguish that gnaws at his soul.
Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes as he sinks to the floor, the weight of his remorse pressing down upon him. He had thought that seeing you again would bring him some measure of closure, some semblance of redemption. But all he had accomplished was to reopen the wounds he had inflicted upon you, tearing them open with brutal force.
In that moment, Dean feels utterly lost, adrift in a sea of regret and self-loathing. He had shattered the one thing he had cherished most in this world, and now he was left to face the consequences of his actions alone.
As Dean sat on the floor, his back against the wall, Sam approached him cautiously.
"Dean, man, are you okay?", Sam asked softly, his voice tinged with worry.
Dean looked up at his brother, his eyes bloodshot and filled with tears. "No, Sam, I'm not okay", he admitted, his voice choked with emotion. "I don't think I'll ever be okay again".
Sam sinked down beside him, mirroring his brother's posture as they both sat in silence for a moment.
"Dean, what happened between you two… it wasn't your fault", he said gently.
But Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "No, Sam, you don't understand", he insisted. "I hurt her, Sam. I hurt her in ways that I can't even begin to comprehend. And now… now I don't know how to fix it".
"Dean, you need to forgive yourself first".
Dean's voice trembled as he spoke, the weight of his words heavy with shame and self-loathing. "How am I supposed to forgive myself, Sam?", he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How can I ever look her in the eyes again, knowing what I did to her? How can I live with myself, knowing that I… that I raped my own girlfriend because I was a fucking demon?".
Dean felt like he's drowning in a sea of guilt and remorse.
"Sam, you don't understand", he said, "This… this is worse than anything I ever experienced in Hell. Worse than purgatory. Since I've been back, since I'm no demon anymore, the pain of what I did to her… it's unbearable. It's like a constant weight crushing down on me, suffocating me. I can't escape it, Sam. I can't escape the guilt, the shame, the remorse. It's consuming me from the inside out".
"I don't know how to live with myself, Sam", he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Every day, every moment, I'm haunted by what I did to her. And the worst part is… I know I don't deserve to be forgiven. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve anything".
Sam's heart broke for his brother, knowing the depth of his pain. He reached out, wrapping Dean in a tight embrace, offering what little comfort he can. "Dean, listen to me", he mumbled softly, his voice filled with conviction. "I promise you, we'll find a way to make things right. But you have to hold on. You have to keep fighting".
For a moment, Dean allowed himself to lean into Sam's embrace, seeking solace in the comfort of his presence.
Summary: Dean became a demon and left you overnight. Three months have passed since then, in which you wanted nothing more than for him to finally come back. However, when he returned, it became painfully clear that he could no longer be saved.
Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Rape, Language, Angst, Hurt, Violence, Humiliation - it´s just pure darkness
Word Count: 4289
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
You sat alone in the bunker, your breaths shallow and pained, the echoes of recent battles still reverberating in your mind. Sam, fueled by determination and desperation, had embarked on a relentless search for Dean, accompanied by Castiel. Left behind, you nursed your injuries.
Your ribs ached with every breath, a testament to the encounters with some demons in your relentless search for Dean. Each shadow seemed to whisper his name, taunting you with his absence.
Cradling your injured side, you sank into the cold embrace of a chair, the weight of uncertainty pressing down upon you. How long had it been since Dean had disappeared into the night, consumed by the darkness that had claimed him? The minutes stretched into eternity, each tick of the clock echoing the ache in your heart.
Outside, the world continued to spin, oblivious to the turmoil within the bunker's walls. But for you, time stood still, trapped in a limbo of fear and longing. Every creak of the floorboards, every gust of wind, raised hopes that Dean would materialize before you, his familiar presence a balm to your weary soul.
But as the weeks slipped by, despair threatened to overwhelm you.
In the depths of your despair, a voice whispered a gentle reminder: hope. It was a fragile thread, woven with memories of shared laughter and whispered promises.
With each heartbeat, you whispered a silent vow to never give up on Dean, to keep fighting until he was safely by your side once more.
Two long weeks had passed since Sam and Cas had departed, leaving you to grapple with the silence that hung heavy in their absence. And three months had slipped by since Dean, consumed by the darkness of his demonic transformation, had vanished into the night, his departure leaving a void that seemed impossible to fill.
As you made your way to the kitchen, your movements slow and deliberate, the pain in your ribs flared with every breath.
Reaching the refrigerator, you paused, your hand hovering over the handle as a wave of loneliness washed over you. The prospect of facing another day without Dean, without the warmth of his presence, felt like an insurmountable burden. But you couldn't afford to succumb to despair, not when there was still a glimmer of hope flickering in the darkness.
With a determined exhale, you opened the refrigerator door, the cool air washing over you. Amidst the assortment of food and beverages, your fingers closed around a cold bottle of beer, the familiar label offering a brief respite from the ache that threatened to consume you.
Bringing the bottle to your lips, you took a long swallow. For a fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to linger in the memories of happier times, when laughter had filled the air and the future had seemed full of endless possibilities.
That’s when you heard heavy footsteps echoed through the silence, sending a shiver down your spine as they drew closer. Your heart pounded in your chest, a mixture of fear and longing coursing through your veins. You knew without a doubt who stood seconds later right behind you, his presence a familiar yet chilling presence that sent a tremor of apprehension rippling through your body.
Dean.
The name hung heavy in the air, laden with the weight of everything that had transpired in the months since his transformation into a demon. Three long months had passed since you had last seen him.
And now, as he stood mere inches away, his chest pressed against your back, you couldn't bring yourself to turn around. The air crackled with tension, thick with unspoken words and the palpable sense of danger that surrounded him.
You felt his breath ghost across the nape of your neck, a chilling reminder of the darkness that lurked within him. The urge to turn and face him, to confront the demon that wore Dean's face, warred with the instinct to flee, to put as much distance between you and his darkness.
But as the seconds stretched into eternity, you remained rooted to the spot, paralyzed by the fear that gripped you like a vice. Dean wasn't here to do nice things, of that you were certain. He was a harbinger of chaos, a reminder of the perilous path he had chosen.
And yet, despite the fear that coiled in the pit of your stomach, there remained a flicker of hope, a tiny ember that refused to be extinguished. Deep down, buried beneath the layers of uncertainty and despair, you held onto the belief that somewhere within the depths of the demon that stood behind you, a fragment of the real Dean still existed.
But as the moments ticked by, the silence stretching taut between you, you couldn't shake the nagging doubt that whispered in the recesses of your mind. Would Dean ever be the same again? Or had he been consumed entirely by the darkness that now held him in its thrall?
With a trembling hand, you reached for the bottle of beer on the counter, the cold glass a tangible anchor in the storm of emotions that raged within you. And as you took a fortifying sip, steeling yourself for whatever came next.
Dean's voice cut through the silence like a blade, his words laced with a dark edge that sent a shiver down your spine. "Sweetheart", he drawled, the term dripping with mockery, a cruel reminder of the tender endearments he had once whispered in your ear. "Missed me, did you?", he taunted, his tone sending a chill down your spine.
You could feel his presence behind you, his breath warm against your ear as he leaned in closer. The sensation sent a wave of unease washing over you, his proximity a stark reminder of the danger that lurked within him.
But even as his lips brushed against your ear, sending a shudder of revulsion coursing through you, you couldn't bring yourself to pull away. The memory of the man you had once loved, the man buried beneath the darkness that now consumed him, lingered in the recesses of your mind, a faint echo of a love that refused to die.
And as his lips lingered against your ear, his touch a visceral reminder of the danger that surrounded you, you felt a flicker of defiance ignite within you. Steeling yourself against the fear that threatened to consume you, you squared your shoulders and met his gaze head-on.
"Dean". you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, "this isn't you. I know you're still in there, somewhere"-. It was a desperate plea, a faint glimmer of hope in the darkness that threatened to engulf you both.
But as you spoke, the shadow that lurked behind his eyes seemed to deepen. And though you longed to reach out and pull him back from the brink, to save him from the darkness that haunted him, you knew that the battle ahead would be fraught with peril.
For Dean wasn't just fighting against the darkness within him; he was fighting against the very essence of his own soul.
Dean’s words struck you like a barrage of bullets, each one piercing your heart with a searing pain that threatened to consume you.
“All I want is to fuck that tight little pussy of yours”, he sneered, his voice dripping with venomous lust. “Tried so many girls these past few weeks, but none of them felt like you”.
Your breath caught in your throat. His words were like a dagger to your soul, shredding any remaining fragments of hope or love you had clung to.
As he pressed you against the unforgiving surface of the kitchen counter, his touch rough and unforgiving, you felt a surge of pain shoot through your body. Bruises blossomed beneath his fingertips. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let him see your weakness.
You were overwhelmed, broken by his actions and his words, but you refused to let him break you completely.
“Stop talking”, you whispered, your voice barely above a hoarse whisper.
Dean's laughter echoed off the walls of the kitchen, a cruel symphony of mockery that reverberated in your ears like a relentless assault. The sound of it sent a shiver down your spine.
"Aw, sweetheart, don't tell me you're jealous", he taunted, his voice dripping with derision as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your skin. "You wanna know how I fucked all those other girls while you were out there playing the hero, searching for me?".
The words hit you. You had risked everything to find him, to believe in the possibility of redemption, only to be met with scorn and betrayal.
But despite the pain, despite the overwhelming sense of despair that threatened to consume you, you refused to let him see your weakness.
"Go ahead", you spat, your voice laced with a bitter edge. "Show me. Show me just how little I meant to you. How easily you threw away everything we had".
And as he smirked, his features twisted with triumph, you braced yourself for the inevitable onslaught of pain and humiliation. Dean wasn't the man you had loved; he was a monster, a demon wearing the face of the man you once knew.
But even as he moved closer, his hands reaching for you with a hunger that made your skin crawl, you refused to back down. You were broken, yes, but you were not defeated. And as you stood your ground in the face of his darkness.
Dean's eyes gleamed as he leaned in closer. "Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea", he snarled, before he gripped your wrists with a force that made you flinch.
"I'm about to show you just how hard I fucked those sluts", he continued, his voice low and menacing. "Hard enough to land them in the hospital. They begged for it, you know. Begged for the touch of a real man".
The bile rose in your throat at his words, a sickening mixture of disgust and despair threatening to choke you. How could he speak of such violence with such casual indifference?
But even as the questions raced through your mind, you knew there would be no answers. Dean was lost. And as he moved closer, his hands trailing down your body with a possessiveness that made your skin crawl, you knew that this was about to get messy.
Dean's voice dripped with disdain as he sneered, "Where's your motivation, huh? You call yourself a hunter, but here you are, doing nothing to stop me". His words cut through the air like a whip, each syllable laced with hate.
You gritted your teeth against the surge of anger that threatened to consume you, meeting his gaze with a defiant glare. "My motivation", you spat, your voice trembling with suppressed rage, "is to stop you from hurting anyone else. To stop you from causing any more pain and suffering."
Dean's laughter echoed off the walls of the kitchen, a cruel mockery. "You really think you can stop me?", he taunted. "At the end of the night, sweetheart, I'll get what I came for. And there's nothing you can do to stop me".
“You´re pathetic, Dean”.
Dean's hand struck your cheek with a brutal force, the sharp crack of skin against skin echoing through the kitchen. Pain exploded across your face, a searing heat that radiated through every fiber of your being. You stumbled backward, the force of the blow sending you crashing against the wall, the impact jolting your already broken ribs.
Stars danced at the edges of your vision as you fought to regain your bearings, struggling to draw breath through the haze of pain that enveloped you. But even as you gasped for air, the taste of blood filling your mouth, you refused to let him see your weakness.
Dean loomed over you, his features contorted with a twisted mixture of triumph and cruelty. "Is that fire I see in you now, sweetheart?", he sneered, his voice a low, menacing growl. "Good. Because I want something to burn while I fuck you".
Your fists pounded against Dean's chest, each blow fueled by a desperate fury that threatened to consume you. But his laughter only grew louder.
"Aw, sweetheart, is that the best you can do?", he taunted. "I expected more from a hunter like you. But I guess I overestimated your abilities".
With a primal scream, you launched yourself at him once more, determined to land a blow that would wipe the smirk from his face.
But before your fist could connect, Dean moved with speed, his hand closing around your wrists with a vice-like grip. Pain exploded through your body as he squeezed, the bones in your wrists grinding together with a sickening crunch.
You cried out in agony as he pushed you against the kitchen table, the unforgiving surface digging into your spine. Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled against his iron grip, but it was futile. Dean was stronger, more powerful than you could ever be.
"Look at you, all fire and fury", he sneered, his breath hot against your ear. "But in the end, you're just a weak little girl, aren't you?".
With a trembling hand, you tried to push yourself up from the table, but Dean’s hand came down with a force that sent shockwaves of pain radiating through your body. You cried out as he pushed you back down, the unforgiving surface digging into your stomach, leaving you gasping for air.
“Oh, princess, don’t strain yourself”, he mocked. “You’re much prettier when you’re lying down”.
“You know, sweetheart”, Dean taunted. “I always did like a woman who knows her place. And your place is right here, beneath me”.
Dean's laughter filled the room like a sinister symphony, his eyes gleaming with pleasure as he towered over you. "Oh, sweetheart, look at you", he taunted. "All bruised and broken, yet still trying to get up. Admirable, really".
You winced as pain shot through your broken wrists and ribs, rendering you helpless against his looming presence. Every movement sent waves of agony coursing through your body, but you refused to let him see your weakness.
With deliberate slowness, Dean reached for his belt, his fingers tracing the buckle with a predatory precision. "You know, princess", he murmured, his voice low and dangerous, "I've been looking forward to this. Been craving it ever since I left".
Your heart pounded in your chest, a sickening mixture of fear and revulsion churning in the pit of your stomach. You wanted to scream, to fight back with every fiber of your being, but the pain held you captive, a prisoner in your own body.
As Dean slowly undid his belt, a smirk played across his lips, his eyes alight with twisted desire. "You're going to love this, sweetheart", he groaned, his voice laced with a dark promise. "I'll make sure of it".
You knew what was coming, but you were powerless to stop it.
Dean's grip tightened around you as he pushed you further down the table, his movements rough. You winced as your broken wrists bore the brunt of his force, each new position sending fresh waves of pain shooting through your body.
With a smirk, Dean reached for the waistband of your shorts and panties, his fingers trailing along the fabric with a slowness that made your skin crawl. "Let's see what we have here, shall we?", he mused, his voice thick with anticipation.
As he pulled them down, exposing your dry folds to his leering gaze, a wave of humiliation washed over you. You felt exposed, vulnerable, as if every last shred of your dignity had been stripped away.
Dean's eyes alight with amusement. "Well, well, well", he taunted, his voice dripping with disdain. "Looks like you're making this harder than it should be, sweetheart. What's the matter? Not as wet as you used to be?".
You wanted to scream, but all you could do was lie there, exposed and humiliated, as Dean continued to mock and degrade you.
"Oh, sweetheart, this is going to hurt", he chuckled.
"You always did have trouble taking me, didn't you?", Dean jeered. "But don't worry, sweetheart. I'll make sure you feel every inch of me".
His words struck you like a physical blow, a reminder of the intimacy you once shared, now twisted into something dark and grotesque.
You lay on your stomach on the table, your breaths coming in shallow gasps as you braced yourself for what was to come. Your ass faced Dean, vulnerable and exposed, as he hovered over you.
With a chuckle, Dean reached for his jeans and boxers, pulling them down just enough to free his throbbing length.
"Oh, sweetheart, look at what you're missing out on", he taunted. "You used to beg for this, didn't you? Beg for me to fill you up until you couldn't take it anymore".
As Dean moved closer, his hands tracing the lines of your body, you felt a surge of panic rise within you. But even as you struggled against him, you knew that resistance was futile. He was too strong, too powerful, and you were helpless to stop him.
With a hard thrust, Dean tried to shove himself inside you, but your tightness proved too much for him to handle. The pain was excruciating, a searing agony that threatened to consume you from within.
"Fuck", Dean cursed, his voice strained with frustration as he tried to force himself deeper. "Why do you have to be so fucking tight?".
Tears welled in your eyes as the pain intensified.
"Looks like I'll have to make do," he sneered, his voice thick with contempt as he spat down on his cock. "All because of you, princess. Can't even get wet for me anymore".
Dean gripped your hips with a brutal force, before he thrust himself forward once more. The pain was unbearable, a searing agony that threatened to consume you from within.
"Please, Dean, stop", you pleaded, your voice raw with desperation. But he only laughed, the sound ringing in your ears like a mocking taunt.
"Stop?", he scoffed, his grip on your hips tightening even further. "Why would I stop when we're just getting started, sweetheart?".
Tears streamed down your cheeks, knowing that there was no escape.
With a grunt of effort, Dean pushed himself inside you with force.
You cried out, the sound muffled by the unforgiving surface of the table beneath you, as he filled you with a brutal intensity.
"Fuck", Dean groaned, his voice strained with exertion. "You're so fucking tight".
As Dean continued to thrust into you with a relentless determination, the agony intensified, threatening to overwhelm you completely.
Your body bore the marks of Dean's brutal assault, bruises already blossoming across your skin despite his relentless onslaught having barely begun. Each movement sent shockwaves of pain rippling through your broken form, the agony etched into every line and contour of your battered body.
Tears streamed down your cheeks, silent yet relentless, as you fought to endure the torment that Dean inflicted upon you.
With a cruel grip, Dean pressed your head tighter against the table, his hands exerting a crushing force that threatened to suffocate you. "You're not enjoying this as much as I am, huh?", he taunted.
And then, with a suddenness that left you reeling, he pulled out completely, leaving you gasping for air as he prepared to thrust into you once more. "Let's see how much you can take", he growled.
The table shuddered beneath you as Dean drove himself into you with a brutal force, each movement wracking your body with a searing agony that threatened to consume you whole. "You like that?", he sneered, his voice laced with amusement. "Or do I need to go harder?".
Your pleas for mercy fell on deaf ears as Dean continued his assault, his grip tightening in your hair, pulling your head up with a violent force. "Tell me how much you missed my big cock", he demanded, his voice a menacing growl as he forced you to look him in the eye.
You winced as your ribs cracked even further under the strain, the pain nearly unbearable as you struggled to form words through the agony. "Please", you gasped, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I can't...I can't do this anymore. Please, Dean, just stop".
But he only laughed, the sound sending a chill down your spine as he forced your head back down, his hands like vices around your hair. "Not good enough, sweetheart", he sneered, his voice dripping with contempt. "Tell me you missed it. Tell me you've been dreaming about it every night since I left".
You choked back a sob, the words catching in your throat as you fought to resist his demands. But with each tug of his hands, each crack of your already fractured ribs, the pain became too much to bear. "I missed it", you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own ragged breaths. "I missed you".
His smirk widened at your admission.
"That's right, sweetheart", he groaned. "You missed me, didn't you? Missed my big cock pounding into you, making you scream".
With each brutal thrust, your cries of pain mingled with his laughter, the sound a symphony of torment that echoed off the walls. "Look at you", he sneered, his hands gripping your hips with a punishing force. "Crying like a little bitch while I fuck you senseless. You love it, don't you? Love being my little whore".
Dean's voice dripped with satisfaction as he hovered over you. "You feel so fucking good", he purred, his words like venom as he surveyed your broken form. "None of those other bitches could compare to you. None of them had that perfect ass and tits. None of them were as tight as you".
You winced as the pain in your ribs intensified with every thrust, each movement sending shockwaves of agony coursing through your body. It felt like your lungs were being crushed, the pressure unbearable as you struggled to draw breath.
Your face was red and swollen from being shoved over the table, tears mingling with sweat as you fought to endure the torment.
With a cruel grip, Dean pulled you around, forcing you to sit on the edge of the table. Your body felt heavy and limp, your senses dulled by the relentless onslaught of pain. You barely registered his rough handling as he grabbed your jaw with a painful force, forcing you to look into his eyes.
"Look at me", he snarled as his eyes transformed into pools of endless blackness. "I want you to see exactly who's doing this to you".
You whimpered weakly, your gaze meeting his dark, soulless eyes as he pushed himself inside you once more. The pain was blinding, a searing fire that threatened to consume you whole, but you were too far gone to fight back. Each movement leaving you teetering on the edge of consciousness.
"You're pathetic", he scoffed. "All this pain, and you still can't look away. You really are mine, aren't you?".
Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to stay upright, your body wracked with pain and exhaustion.
Dean's grip tightened around your neck, nearly choking you as he held you up to keep you from falling. Your vision blurred, the edges of consciousness slipping away as the pain and lack of oxygen overwhelmed you. Yet, you remained trapped in his grasp, unable to break free from his cruel hold.
"You're still in love with me, aren't you?", Dean sneered, his voice dripping with disdain as he mocked your lingering affection. " You actually think there's redemption for me. How sweet".
Your breath came in ragged gasps, each word he spoke a dagger in your heart. The weight of his words, combined with the physical agony, threatened to crush your soul entirely.
Dean chuckled darkly, his grip on your neck tightening even further. "I'm going to come inside you. Every last drop. So that even when I'm gone, you'll still have a piece of me to remember".
As Dean's lips crashed against yours with brutal force, you felt the sting of his bite on your lip, drawing blood as a surge of pain shot through you. With a loud groan, he released himself inside you, his body trembling with the force of his release.
Through the haze of pain and exhaustion, you felt another rib give way under the pressure, causing agony to lance through your already battered body. But you were trapped, unable to move or escape as Dean held you there to steady himself.
"You took me so well", Dean murmured, his voice thick with satisfaction as he kissed your forehead tenderly. "You always gonna be my favorite".
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as he finally released his grip on you, leaving you slumped against the table, broken and defeated. "I'll come back for you", he whispered, his voice filled with a promise of further torment to come.
Before he left, Dean turned back to you, his eyes cold and devoid of any trace of humanity.
"Stop trying to heal me", he commanded, his voice laced with a chilling finality. "I'm beyond saving".
His words hung in the air like a heavy weight, crushing your hopes and shattering your illusions of redemption. With a heavy heart, you watched as he disappeared into the darkness, leaving you alone with your pain and despair.
As Dean's words echoed in your mind, the world around you faded into darkness. The pain, both physical and emotional, overwhelmed your senses, pulling you into unconsciousness.
———————————
A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 I'm thinking about turning this into a multi-part Story. You up?
I cleared my throat, trying to gain some self-control as I made my way to Sam at the Impala. I should have cleaned myself up again, God damn Dean. I have never in my life been so attracted to someone. No one else has even been able to control me with just their eyes before. I can't pinpoint what it is about him but then again I think it's everything about him that turns me on. He's hot as fuck and my God he knows exactly what to say and do to make me weak.
He's such a tease. "Hey," I jumped at the voice, startled by the sudden snap back to reality. I blinked my imagination away realising that I had walked back to the Impala on auto-pilot. I forced a smile on Sam as he looked at me confused. "You okay?" He asked suspiciously, his eyebrows knitted together as he rested his back against the Impala. Dean must have the keys.
"Yeah, just in a world of my own," I chuckled, joining him in resting against the car. He looked at me a little sceptically.
"You sure? You seem completely distracted. If you don't feel up to this one, you can take point on research or just chill in the motel," He added, his sympathy and soft tone showing he was worried about me. Knowing him, he probably once again thought I was on my period. He always seems sympathetic about my periods, always offering support or things I might need. He's always getting hot water bottles ready for me in case I'm in too much pain with cramps. Sometimes saying he's proud of me for getting through them and gives his condolences that I had to go through it. It's sweet and makes me feel loved, he once explained that Jess' cramps were crippling and so he was always helping her that time of month.
I chuckled as I smiled, "I'm not on my period, just a little distracted," I commented, smiling brightly as I knew that no matter how much I questioned what was happening between Dean and me, Sam was a constant in my life.
"Anything you want to talk about?" He asked, showing a little concern probably worried. I smiled softly as I shook my head.
"Nothing's on my mind, just tired I think," I shrugged, he seemed to accept that answer.
"I'm here if you need me," He added, a genuine smile on his lips. I chuckled as I smiled back.
"Thanks, Sammy," I added, my attention quickly going to movement as Dean walked out of the police station. My eyes seemed magnetised to him, I bit my lip as I admired him. Smirking as he approached us, I gulped the closer he got.
"You better not have scratched the paint," Dean joked as he approached us. Sam and I chuckled as I shook my head, both of us getting away from the car. Sam walked around the car, getting in the passenger seat as Dean continued towards me. I turned my back to him, ready to open my door but gasped as Dean's hand found my back and pushed me against the car. My eyes widened as I looked over the car, my chest against the glass window. He wiped my ass with a few swipes. I gulped, frozen in place. "Don't want both my babies dirty," He commented, his tone low and seductive. I gulped, trying to comprehend what was happening. He called me baby, he's wiping dirt off my ass and pinned me against the car. He slapped my ass harshly, a whimper leaving my lips as he chuckled. "You need to stop being so hot, the cop asked me for your number. Did you think he was hot?" He asked, I was completely dumbstruck by his question.
"No," I managed, my voice sounded small as his hand kept me against the car. I know if I moved he would let me, nothing about him or the way he acts threatens me. I know that if I showed I was uncomfortable and wanted him to stop he would.
"Good, I don't want competition." He stated simply. My eyebrows furrowed as the thought of Dean ever having competition was impossible. The only time someone would choose someone other than Dean clearly hasn't met him, they clearly hadn't felt his eyes on them and the way he controls me. "Now, get your fine ass in the car," He added, slapping my ass again before he opened his door and climbed inside. I took a deep breath to compose myself before climbing in the back.
"What was that about?" Sam asked, clearly confused as to why it took us a while to get in the car.
"Cop wanted her number, just checking if she wanted to go back in and give it to him," Dean explained, his tone showing indifference.
"Oh," Sam exclaimed, clearly surprised. I chuckled dryly.
"Wow, thanks Sam," I commented sarcastically. Sam chuckled as he shook his head but my attention was on Dean as he seemed to glare at Sam.
"No, I wasn't surprised that he asked for your number I was surprised Dean actually told you," Sam commented but Dean looked at him confused. Sam has been oblivious to everything between Dean and me. He always looks innocent to others so I don't think he knows anything has been happening for months.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, his tone showing a little annoyance. The air in the car felt tense as we just sat waiting for Dean to start driving but Dean was waiting for answers. I gulped, waiting and not wanting to be present in the conversation.
"Well, I just mean-" Sam stumbled for answers. Dean's stare didn't quiver as he looked at Sam. I took a deep breath, his stare wasn't even at me and I was still affected. "People ask for her number all the time," Sam shrugged, my eyes rolled to the back of my head as I begged the world to eat me. Great!
"What do you mean all the time?" Dean asked but Sam chuckled.
"At least once a hunt, sometimes more. I thought you knew," Sam added, clearly a little confused. I considered holding my breath and waiting until the nightmare was over but I knew I couldn't hold my breath to death. I'd never mentioned any of this to Dean, it's not something to brag about and if anything I think it's weird. I wouldn't say that I'm hot but when I've talked with someone they're interested. It must be a mix of my looks and personality. I've never thought much of it, plus it isn't every hunt Sam's exaggerating.
"No, I didn't," Dean said plainly, his eyes turning to the mirror as he looked at me before starting the car. I gulped, instantly worrying how he would react in private.
There have been times when a guy has hit on me in a bar and Dean always got a little jealous but he also loves to tease me about it claiming that I'm way out of their leagues and they didn't stand a chance. I always thought it was hot, the jealousy and compliments. Then again, Dean breathes and I think it's hot.
The drive back to the motel was quiet, the radio playing in the background not particularly loud. My mind raced with all the possible situations that could happen with Dean. I wondered if he would be jealous or compliment me, I worried he would be annoyed. Although I didn't hide it from him on purpose, it seemed weird that it had never come up in conversation sooner. I hope he doesn't think I was keeping it a secret. I chewed on my bottom lip a little nervously.
"Y/n," I looked forward, coming back to reality as Sam chuckled softly. I smiled softly as I wondered why he had said my name. "You staying in the car?" He asked with a chuckle, I looked out the window and we were here. Dean climbed out of the car, I gathered myself jumping slightly when my door opened. I looked out seeing Dean had opened my door for me and was waiting. I bit my lip as I climbed out, thanking him as I stood up. His face was plain, I took a deep breath knowing he was most likely annoyed.
I stepped away from the car so he could close the door. Sam got out, heading to the motel room to unlock the door, I gulped following him with Dean close beside me. "I knew I wouldn't be alone in wanting you but seems you have a lot to choose from," He stated simply, his hand on my lower back as he walked with me. My breath hitched, and my heart rate quickened. I kept my eyes on Sam's back, not having the willpower to look at Dean and his eyes. God, those eyes. They're my weakness and strength all at once.
I was uneasy for a while, sitting in the motel room with the boys. A part of me wanted to make an excuse to go to my room, hopefully Dean would come but another part of me was too nervous to see what would happen. For months it has felt like a game of cat and mouse, the secret chase. Now that he may catch me, I'm worried that it won't be as fun, I could never stop being attracted to Dean but I worried that after today things would change and I am not a fan of change. I gulped, coming back into conversation with the boys as I felt Dean's eyes on me. I glanced over, he was smirking but looked back at Sam, their conversation about the case continuing.
After a little while, I was invested in the conversation. Putting in my theories and laughing along with the jokes. Dean's eyes often found me but he was holding back on looking at me like he wanted to rip my clothes off, this is the time of the day when I'm a little calmer, although he still affects me I'm still able to function in a room with him.
"Right," Sam announced, getting up from his chair and grabbing his jacket off the back of it. I looked at him confused, watching as he put on his coat. Where's he going? "I'm getting food," He explained, looking at Dean and me with a smile. My eyes widened slightly as I felt Dean's eyes on me. He smirked.
"I can do it," I tried but Sam chuckled, I probably sounded too eager.
"It's alright, I was able to take a shower this morning so you's might as well stay back and freshen up," He explained, doing my least favourite thing that he often does... he brings logic into the conversation. I sighed, wanting nothing more than to run out of the room so he didn't have a choice and so I wasn't alone with Dean.
After a little time, Sam left Dean and me alone. I gulped, forcing a smile but not looking at him. He chuckled, my eyes instinctively going to him. He licked his lips, his eyes yet again devouring me. He either needs to stop looking at me with those eyes or stop looking at me altogether.
"Hope there's enough hot water for the two of us," He started slowly. I gulped, the rest of his sentence predictable and yet my insides quivered to hear him say it. He rose from his seat at the table, eyes boring deep into mine. He smirked as he approached me on the couch, I gulped, eyes glued to him as he towered over me. He smirked devilishly as he put his hands on the back of the couch, leaning over me but lowering himself close to my face. His eyes looked deep into mine, and my breath hitched as his plump lips tempted me to kiss them. "Or maybe we should save water. Seems you have a choice of men to shower with," He finished. His voice was deep but whispered.
I gulped, mouth drying as I looked up at him. His lips slightly parted, half his lips curled into a smirk. "You know," He started, pausing for dramatic effect or waiting until my heartbeat wasn't as loud so I could hear him, it's unclear. "It seems wrong showering with you if we haven't even kissed," He added, biting his bottom lip as his eyes travelled to my lips. I held my breath, my chin raising slightly as my heart rate quickened, and my lips practically tingled with anticipation for him kissing me.
Time seemed to stand still as his lips were an inch from mine. His eyes searched my face, I gulped, lips parted as I waited, begging him to kiss me. I bit my bottom lip, his eyes catching the movement quickly, I should just grab him and kiss him! Why wait for him to do it? I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to grab the back of his neck and close the distance between our lips.
"Guess we'll have to wait then," He spoke abruptly, standing up straight and moving away from me as if the whole thing hadn't happened. I sat, gawking at him. I gritted my teeth as I rolled my eyes. That's it! I'm done with him! I'm done with this game! If he doesn't want to kiss me then I don't want to see him. I stood, taking control of my own body. He turned around looking at me a little confused, obviously not expecting me to stand.
"Yeah, well have fun alone," I scoffed, shaking my head as I walked out. I headed a few doors down to my motel room, normally we're in the rooms next to each other but now I'm thankful that there wasn't the space for that. I need as much distance from Dean as I can get right now.
I slammed my door shut, clasping my hands together as I stopped myself from punching a hole in the door. He's not messing with me anymore, I am done being played with! I locked the door, focusing on taking a shower and pleasing myself while trying to think of anyone but Dean.
I cleaned myself up, exfoliating and getting my skin as clean as possible. A part of me wanted to wash Dean off of me, to leave no trace of him on my skin. I washed my hair, putting on a hair mask to get it as new and fresh as possible. I grew practically giddy as I leaned against the tiles, my instincts wincing away from the cold tiles. I rested back, fingers travelling down to my exposed nerves. I bit my lip, the warm water trickling down my body, the warmth washing over me as my ring and middle finger found my clit. I bit my lip harder, a whimper escaping my lips as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I sighed happily as I rubbed circles over my clit, the pleasure consuming me as I found my mind.
Thoughts of Dean clouded my mind, I fought to think of someone else, a distraction. Dean's eyes took up my mind so I opened my eyes, focusing on the sensations. I moaned softly before trailing my fingers down.
A scream escaped my lips as I jumped. A loud bang echoed through my motel room. SHIT! I hurried to turn my shower off. I peeked my head out of the bathroom seeing no one in my room, I grabbed a towel quickly wrapping it around my body as I hurried to the door. I grabbed my gun, cocking it as I looked through the peephole. I sighed as I put the gun aside. Dean fucking Winchester. Of course, it is. I rolled my eyes as I unlocked the door.
"What the fuck Dean?" I asked, annoyance in my tone as I opened the door. He looked annoyed before pushing the door wider, I stumbled back from the movement. He walked in, his back turned to me as I looked around annoyed and frustrated in more ways than one. I pushed the door shut, silently seething as I looked at Dean.
"I told you not to lock your door," His voice was angry but his eyes were hungry. Normally I'd be a puddle on the floor by now but I am done with him. I scoffed as I shook my head.
"And I told you to have fun alone," I retorted as I put my hand on my hip, looking at him angrily as he looked surprised by my response. I stayed strong as he stared me down.
"You're talking back to me now?" He asked, his eyebrows showing he wasn't asking, more stating. I maintained eye contact, not letting myself feel belittled by him.
"Yeah, there's no point in wasting both of our time and energy. I was actually showering so if you could just fuck off, that'd be great," I responded, gritting my teeth as I watched his anger grow. His eyes were darker than I've ever seen them. I made a point of not breaking eye contact first, it grew more challenging but I stayed strong. He remained still, his mind clearly clouded by his anger. I continued to fight myself to not break eye contact, it's principle now. He didn't seem to be struggling which only angered me more. "And for the love of God, will you stop looking at me with those eyes!" I shouted, my chest rising and falling rapidly. He clenched his jaw, eyebrows stiffening as he said nothing. "Don't look at me like you want to rip my clothes off, either do it or stop looking at me," I shouted, momentarily surprising myself with my own words.
Dean seemed surprised too, his anger evaporating from his expression. He looked away from me, scoffing slightly as he looked caught off guard. I clenched my jaw, offended by his reaction. I knew he was just messing with me this whole time but to scoff at that is ridiculous. I sucked my teeth angrily as I nodded, coming fully to terms with the fact this whole thing was a game to him. I tried with everything in me not to punch him in his handsome and annoying face. He shook his head as he turned towards the door.
That's what I thought. It was now so apparently obvious he was messing with me. Maybe now I'll finally get over him. I rolled my eyes as I turned around to watch him leave. My eyebrows furrowed slightly as he stopped at the door. He moved with precise movements, his hand reaching for the door handle. Seemed odd, but it all made sense why he stopped when rather than grabbing the handle he flicked the lock. My eyes widened as I gulped, we're locked in.
I stood frozen in place as he slowly turned around to look at me, his eyes still looking at me like he wanted to rip my clothes off. He moved slowly, approaching me without a word. I gulped, snapping myself back to reality.
"Dean," I cleared my throat, trying to gain some strength in my voice. "I wasn't serious," I tried, my voice sounding little as I backed away from him. His expression didn't change, he continued approaching me. "Stop messing with me," I jumped when my back hit the wall behind me. I gulped as he continued, my inside fluttering nervously. I felt little again as he towered over me. My breath hitched as he put a hand on the wall beside my head, his arm staying straight as he rested against it. His body was close to mine as he stared deep into my eyes. I bit my lip, watching as my insides churned in anticipation.
"Do I have your permission?" He asked slowly, his voice deep with desire. I gulped, taken back by his question. I was frozen in place, my lips parting as my mind considered all my options. I either put my foot down and get him to leave, he'll stop messing with me and I'll be in control of myself again... But... I nodded softly, too intimidated to speak. Dean smirked softly. His hands moved to my towel slowly. I gasped as he ripped it from my body quickly, forcefully. I gulped, fully exposed to him. He took a second to look me over, his eyes admiring every curve of my body as he licked his lips. My breath quickened as I could see his pupils dilate, the throb in his neck quickened before he bit his bottom lip. His eyes finally found mine, his breath quick as he almost growled. "From now on I'm going to look at you like I want to eat you. Let's see how long before you're begging to have this conversation again," He spoke slowly, eyes bouncing from my lips to my eyes, clearly wanting to kiss me. All ability to function left my body as I stared into his eyes. True to his word he looked at me like he wanted to devour me, like he was starving and I was the only food in sight.
God. Dean fucking Winchester has me in a chokehold. I practically drooled over him; all he did was listen to a cop. I need to get ahold of myself. I need some sexual release, there are not enough hours in the day to masturbate enough to be able to function around Dean. When someone asks what my type is, I just start describing Dean. I can't handle being around him and yet I stay with the Winchesters, hunt with them, travel with them. The only time I'm away from Dean is when I'm sleeping but even then he infects my dreams like a parasite, eating away at me and getting me so sexually frustrated I'm in a constant cycle of irritable and submissive for him.
Dean isn't shy about wanting to fuck me, he only seems to look at me like he's undressing me. He controls my breathing and knows it. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I tried to gain control of my own mind. I looked at the cop, trying to listen to him as I crossed my legs over each other to rest my elbow on the chair arm beside me. I gulped as I felt the familiar burning deep in my stomach, I used the only willpower left inside my body to keep my eyes on the cop. I know Dean has his eyes on me, I can always feel it. My breath quickened as my eyes finally wandered to Dean. He was watching me intently. His eyes were slightly hooded, he released his bottom lip from between his teeth as he mischievously smirked at me. I gulped, eyes struggling to return to the cop.
I just need to stay strong just a little longer. Dean's moving caught my eye, he sat back in his seat, his hand pushing on the crotch of his jeans slightly as he widened his legs. I gulped, watching his strong thighs begging me to sit on him. I clenched my jaw, gulping to try and gain some control. I blinked to try to clear my mind. I could still feel Dean's eyes on me. I could feel every atom of my body. I cleared my throat, adjusting my seating position a little nervously. He has so much control over me. To anyone else in the room, he looks innocent, he's just sitting in a chair but Dean and I know his intentions with every movement. His favourite thing in the world seems to be getting a reaction out of me. He does it probably a hundred times a day. I switched my legs so my left leg was now crossed over the right. I chewed on my bottom lip, finally looking at Dean, I could never look away for long. His eyes showed his hunger. His plain expression as his eyes bore into me quickened my breath. His hand sat high on his thigh, and my eyes were magnitised to his tightening grip turning his knuckles white. I gulped as I looked back to his eyes, my breath hitched in my throat as he licked his lips, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth to bite down on it. I gulped as he raised his eyebrows before looking down at his crotch, my eyes following as I knew the look was his way of tempting me to sit on his lap.
I clenched my legs together as wetness pooled in between my thighs. Fuck sake. I cleared my throat as I stood. Everyone's eyes were on me but only Dean's gaze made me quiver. "If you'll excuse me," I commented politely, stealing one last glance at Dean as he smirked watching me intently. I could still feel his eyes on me as I walked out. Finally breathing as soon as I left the room. I'm struggling to even be in a room with him, it's getting out of hand. I'm sick of lying to myself and thinking that maybe this will be the month that he doesn't affect me anymore but 7 months of knowing him later and I'm still waiting for the day he doesn't have control over me. I headed straight for the bathroom. My mission only turned to cleaning myself up and splashing cold water on myself to calm down. Hell, if I find ice on the way there then even better.
Dean's POV:
I held a sigh back as I continued to pretend to be listening for what felt like an hour. I rubbed my eye, adjusting my head to steal a glance at Y/N. I tightened my lips to stop myself from smiling. God, she's perfect. I looked back at the cop, offering a fake smile and nodding. I stared blankly at the cop as my mind wandered to Y/N. Remembering what she looked like from my quick glance. I swear you could look at her from any angle and she'd look fuckable. I turn animalistic when I look at her.
When we first met I thought she was beautiful and dreamed of the cute little life we could have as a couple. I fell in love with her but from a little distance. It was all innocent thoughts, cute things we'd do as a couple and the dates we'd have but one frightful night I figured something out that had bothered me for 3 months. I noticed that any night I masturbated she would always seem a little happier the next day. For 3 months, I thought that it was some "Post-nut clarity" and I was falling deeper in love with her but... The second I heard her moan my name on a random night I was masturbating I realised that we were both masturbating after a day we were alone together. I knew in an instant that you felt the sexual tension too and she also masturbated at the thought of me.
The next morning was the first time I looked at Y/N with hungry eyes the whole day. My only thoughts were all the sexual things we'd probably both already imagined. I could never stop looking at her like that, especially when it was so obvious she was enjoying it. She always clenches her thighs and breaths heavily enough that I can watch her chest and see clearly how heavy she is breathing. I often wonder why I ever wasted time watching TV when all the entertainment I need is her, I just have to sit in this chair and watching her get flustered would be something I could watch for hours.
I glanced over as movement caught my eye. My eyes landed on Y/N's gorgeous legs as she crossed them. From the tightness of her jaw and slightly quick breathing, I know she's starting to get flustered. I smirked as I licked my lips, bringing my bottom lip between my teeth.
I need to be a man to my word, I said I could watch her get flustered just from sitting and staring at her so why not test it out... I turned my shoulders back and stared directly at Y/N. I bit down on my lip, smirking to myself as I noticed her gulp. I feel like a stalker being able to read her so well but she gets flustered in a room with me multiple times a day, of course I have subconsciously memorised it by now. I know she can feel me watching her, she always knows. I continued to stare at her, I could practically predict what was going through her mind, she wanted to look at me.
I dropped my bottom lip from between my teeth, smirking as she finally looked at me and proved me right. I only grew more confident in my ways when she struggled to look back at the cop. It's too easy. God, what I would give just to march up to her right now and kiss her with the force I've been holding back for months. I didn't think I would mess with her this long, normally I mess with a woman for a few hours and then sleep with her but with Y/N, it drives me crazy knowing how much I mess with her, it also drives me crazy knowing that she's masturbating practically every night now because of me. I took a deep breath realising that I had made the mistake of thinking of her masturbating, the small moans I would hear when I was listening carefully, hoping the sound would carry between motel room walls. It's pornographic.
I sat deeper in my seat, pushing down on the crotch of my jeans, my semi-erect penis feeling uncomfortable in the growingly tightening jeans. I continued to study her, watching as her eyes absorbed my movement and new position, I couldn't hold back my smirk as her flustered state became more obvious. I felt my eyes darken as she switched her crossed legs, most likely clenching them, clearly getting wet. God, I don't even need to do anything and she's ready for me. I licked my lips, surveying every inch of her perfect body. What I wouldn't give to have her in arms reach right now. I gripped my thigh, something to stabilise myself while my eyes tore off her clothes.
She found the courage to look at me again, I suggestively looked down into my lap. Something her eyes followed and from the clenching of her thighs I knew without a shadow of a doubt she was wet. I would do anything to feel just how wet I make her. I smirked as she cleared her throat, standing from her seat. She still looked flustered as I bit my lip, watching her. She tried avoiding my eyes but she couldn't for long.
"If you'll excuse me," She stated politely. Glancing at me one last time before turning. I watched as she walked out, her ass being my only focus as she walked. Her body is perfect. What I wouldn't give to feel her sitting on my lap right now.
I should probably bring my attention back to the cop but I just can't take my mind off Y/N, my sweet, horny Y/N. Lost deep in thought, I imagined what she could be doing right now, a huge part of me wondering if she was horny enough to wait until she was back at the motel to relieve herself or if she was "Destressing" in the bathrooms. My mind imagined how she could look right now, picturing her perfect face contorting to the pleasure she was giving herself all because of me, probably thinking about me and what we both hoped I would do to her. God, I need to see her.
I rose from my seat, mind and eyes completely focusing on the task of seeing my Y/N, to know if she was horny enough to do it in the bathroom of a police station. "Dean?" Sam's voice pulled me from my trance. I shook myself out of it, turning back to look at him expectantly. "Where are you going?" He asked, giving me warning eyes towards the cop. I looked over at him curiously, the cop seemed suspicious of me, his eyes showing his uneasiness.
"Bathroom, shouldn't have eaten at the garage on the way," I chuckled, the cop seemed to exhale a chuckle.
"Been there before, it's down the hall and to the left," The cop explained, smiling as he nodded. I forced a smile, turning back to the door and heading out in the directions he had given me.
I stopped outside the bathrooms. The ladies on the right, men on the left and disabled toilets right in the centre. I smirked as rested my weight against the wall just outside the women's bathroom, smirking as I anticipated Y/N coming out soon.
Y/N's POV:
I looked in the mirror, using the paper towels to dry myself off. The cold water seemed to really help, I might actually be able to function at least until I can get back to the motel. I gave myself some motivating words before heading out of the bathroom. I jumped slightly as I rounded the corner of the door frame. Hands instantly on my arms as I walked into someone. I was about to apologise and move aside but as I looked at Dean I knew he was messing with me even more. The smirk on his face made it as clear as day. I took a deep breath, rolling my eyes slightly. I stepped out of his grasp.
"You're waiting for me outside of the bathrooms now?" I asked, my tone showing annoyance but my insides giddy to be close to him.
"Don't get too cocky, I wasn't waiting for you," He tried but I scoffed.
"Oh, okay," I sarcastically commented. "So, you were just waiting for the fun of it?" I asked, internally trying to stay brave as he looked at me with those eyes, the perfectly green eyes that always look at me with the deepest desire to get me naked. His smirk and wandering eyes were only confirmation in my mind that he had somehow worked out how to see through my clothes, I've never known anyone to have so much expression in just their eyes, it drives me crazy and he seems to know it.
"I'm waiting for the bathroom, sweetheart." He started, his lips momentarily hypnotizing me. His lips begged to be kissed but his smirk begged to be slapped off his face. "But since you're waiting here with me, you might as well join me," He tempted. My breath caught in my throat as he took a small but intentional step closer to me. I gulped as I took a step back, anything to try and hide how much he affects me. His widening smirk confirmed that my act was compromised.
"You want me to believe you're just waiting for-" I started but bit my tongue when a lock clicked behind me. I froze in place as Dean smirked cockily at me. His eyes never deviated from mine. I internally sighed as the guy coming out of the bathroom passed us. "Whatever," I commented, I stepped around Dean to pass him but his hand found my waist as he pulled me into the bathroom. I stumbled to stay standing. The second we were both in the bathroom he held me against the wall and clicked the lock shut. I breathed heavily, adrenaline cursing my veins as I looked up into his hungry eyes. Gulping as he licked his lips.
He stared at my lips as he bit his own, Is he finally going to kiss me? Kiss me! I stood frozen, my back against the wall and Dean's hand still on my waist. He moved closer, his body practically touching mine. His smirk grew as he looked into my eyes. He lifted his chin, lips moving even closer to mine as my chest rose and fell quickly.
"You're practically begging me to kiss you," His voice was low and dowsed in desire. I gasped as his free hand moved to my face, softly touching my cheek as his thumb moved over my lip, folding my bottom lip down as he watched intently. I held my breath, unable to function. He's moved from messing with me to actually touching me. "You-" Dean sighed as his phone ringing interrupted him. He pulled his hands from me to answer his phone, and I took the time to finally breathe again. He hadn't moved away from me, I'm still pinned to the wall.
"Yeah," Dean answered, his eyes instantly on me again. I gulped as he studied me closely. His hand came back up to my face. My breath quivered as he grabbed my chin and lifted my face to look at me closer. His lips are an inch from mine. "I don't know where she is, probably still in the bathroom," He commented, clearly talking to Sam. "Yeah, if I see her, I'll tell her," He added before hanging up. He licked his lips, barely missing mine with his tongue as he did it. He put his phone in his pocket, his eyes peering into mine. "Sam's waiting at the Impala," He added, his tone showing his disinterest. He smirked as I remained frozen, my eyes travelling to the lips an inch from mine, the lips I wished would kiss me. I bit my lip, my mind filling with imagining the kiss, the taste and the passion. He smirked as he watched me bite my lip. "Get out," He stated simply as he dropped my chin from his grasp. I looked at him confused, baffled at the sudden change in mood. He moved aside, unlocking the door but not opening it. He stood behind the door watching me expectantly.
I scoffed, shaking my head as I grabbed the handle ready to storm out annoyed. Fucking Dean, he's always messing with me and he doesn't even want me. I jumped as the door now slightly open door slammed in my face, his hands instantly pushing me back to the wall. He pinned me between his body and the wall. His hand on the side of my neck and the other on my lower back pulling me into his body. Breathing right now wasn't an option. "Don't lock your motel room later," He instructed, his intentions clear. "Got it?" He asked the look in his eyes making me quiver. I nodded quickly, and he smirked as he admired me. "Good," He stated simply before slapping my ass. I gasped at the unexpected action. His smirk turned to a grin at my reaction. "See you in the car," He added, his hand moving from my neck to open the door for me, his other hand still holding me close.
I gulped, my brain fighting my body. I need to move but I don't know if I have the willpower to walk out of his grasp. His grin was mischievous as he seemed to read my mind but didn't move. He looked deep into my eyes. He knows exactly what he's doing to me. I took a deep breath, establishing myself before prying myself away from him. I walked out, mentally reminding myself not to look back at him. I sighed as I couldn't help but look back just before he was out of view. His smirk and studying eyes made my legs weak.
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