Enforcer of History (Archive)

RP blog for a Time Patroller from Dragon Ball Xenoverse. Please read rules and about before interacting! Penned by Jojo! Follows from @bubblegumhero.

[temporalenforcer]

[temporalenforcer]

“FIGHT ME.”

[temporalenforcer]

elxgcnt:

     “..a saiyan.” That just left a disgusting taste in her mouth.  “No, I’m not.” Chiyori would dismiss, gaze casting to the side. “The last saiyans died years ago.” She was human, that’s all she was. Chiyori’s shock had vanished the moment she’d mentioned them. If anything, she was more irritated now. 

     “An alien –” Chiyori grumbled. “If you’re here to take over the planet, you’re too late.” 

“Yeah, I get it, androids killed the saiyans, at least the known ones. I’m not here to take over this hellhole of a planet, it’s all yours. I’m hunting a target.”

Kiku shrugs and looks to the side a bit, apathetic. This girl wants to lie to herself, fine, it’s none of her business and she couldn’t be bothered to care.

“Someone’s been fucking around with time around here, and I’m getting paid to make sure they stop. Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary? Evil energy, purple glowy auras, that kind of crap?”

[temporalenforcer]

@of-embers-and-ashes

Had she been fooled?! This was no golden shade of the Sun Covenant! This was… Purple! She had just summoned a Mad Phantom for sure! Greatsword drawn, resting on her shoulder, Runa took up a combative pose. “N-now I don’t want to hurt you! Begone from my world, and that’ll be that!”

What the hell- where was she? This place looks like a hellhole, and was sure as hell not where her time jump was supposed to take her. Not just that, but now she’s got some random earthling... thing threatening her.

“Hurt me? I’d like to see you try. Now, I’ve got questions, and you can be damn sure they’re gonna get answered.”

“I’ll let you choose how.”

[mcmusings]

CR1TIKAL SENTENCE STARTERS

(repost since original source has been moved/taken down?)

“Alright, I guess I’ll go fuck myself then.” “Yes, that is me, I am the fuck.” “Let’s do this shit.” “I’d rather call you tit socks.” “I guess I’ll just sit here and fist myself.” “You can cut, peel, dice, filet, fist yourself!” “Stop looking at me, [muse name]. You look moist as shit.” “You will all feast on the fuck.” “Oh! Everyone’s fucking!” “Will you please stop shoving dicks in your mouth and put me back on the race track?” “Come here, young one. Let me tell you why your father is an asshole.” “Do not speak, squid scrotum!” “I’m a strong, independent man/woman. I don’t need you, [Muse Name]. But please, remember my name!” “I’m ready to begin my journey with a full-fledged erection and a heart of ambition.” “Oh! Get the truth, bitch! Take a seat!” “You’ve gotta be stirring my pasta.” “Don’t think for one second that I’m not naked.” “You ass spanking, fruit punch drinking, guitar playing, shit eating piece of alligator jizz.” “I guess you can’t stop what you can’t fist.” “I have no biceps and I must curl.” “I brought my secret weapon. An erection.” “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your tongue. So I may climb it and supply you with this dope dick.” “I’m just making a list of reasons why you’re a piece of shit.”

[temporalenforcer]

@android7

Kiku stands perched at the edge of a building, scanning the crowd below with a look of focus. Somewhere down there was a Time Breaker, and she- was that a footstep?

“...!”

She whirls, readying a powerful blast in the tip of her finger as she faces down whoever managed to get behind her.

“I hope you’ve got a damn good reason for sneaking around with your ki hidden.”

[temporalenforcer]

@breathofthefuture

“Y’know, that actually is a tad overdramatic.” 

“Really? I thought it was just dramatic enough. I cannot stress enough how little I care.”

There was a reason she made clear to Chronoa that she was a merc hired for the Time Patrol, and not a patroller herself. She’s got no interest in their goals... only reason she signed on at all was to get at Towa.

[android7]

❝ ….cheater. ❞

[temporalenforcer]

“What’s that? Can’t hear you over you giving me the game-winning point.”

“Tell ya what, I have a consolation prize for you.”

[temporalenforcer]

“2 for 2, suckers.”

[temporalenforcer]

I’ve had nothing going on here for a while, so!

Mutuals, like for a starter from this grape-looking asshole!

[temporalenforcer]

breathofthefuture:

…there’s probably some internal screaming coming from somewhere, where ever Ibuki was at this point. First being insulted, now this…she had stuff to do, damn it!

“Hm... what’s that? It’s almost like some sad excuse for a hero was upset she lost without a fight! Tragic.”

She knew full well the trapped saiyan could hear just as well as Kiku could hear her. Not that Ibuki could do much about it... but it was certainly fun for Kiku.

“Well, at least she made some tasty chocolate. Can’t argue with salted chocolate.”

[temporalenforcer]

“What the hell did you just say about my hair?!”

“It’s shit. It’s objectively shit. Learn some fucking grooming, man.”

“Also, the white makes you look like an edgelord.”

[breathofthefuture]

@temporalenforcer

And, naturally, Kiku fires a Candy Beam in reply. Run, Ibuki. She will eat you. 

“AHHHHH-Erk!” She was too distracted with her spite screeching to dodge or run. Now a candy bar, the poor Saiyan falls to the floor. This isn’t good.

[temporalenforcer]

“Wow, one shot, really? That was just sad, you didn’t even try.”

She picks up the candy bar with a smirk, then downs the whole thing in one bite. And so the hero has fallen. She’ll probably let Ibuki loose in a few hours, Chronoa gets pissed when she eats other patrollers... but, for now? She’s off to the PQs to enjoy the huge boost in power she just got.

[temporalenforcer]

“...I’ll show you a damn impact...”

[lesbian-trolls]

smallcub:

having ocs tht have sex n do drugs n shit when youve never done any of those things

[youvegotrpmemes]

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure starters

- suggested by Anonymous

“I’m willing to see our transactions through, are you, [sir]?”

“I’m fighting to protect my family from those that wish it harm, I doubt very much that your resolve is equal to mine”

“Perhaps… Perhaps the time [he] foretold has come. If this is my destiny, I accept it”

“Walking on water when you obviously lack proper training is quite an accomplishment”

“You truly are the lowest scum in history”

“Good grief, don’t underestimate me just because I’m a kid”

“I feel bad, kicking a guy when he’s down, but… Nah, I don´t feel bad about this at all. My friends and a lot of bystanders are dead because of you”

“Impossible? We did a lot of impossible things on this journey. I’m tired of hearing that things are impossible or useless. Those words mean nothing to us”

“Shoot me if you want to! But you better be prepared to face the consequences”

“The last thing I need right now is listening to trash like you, let alone being touched by you”

“You’re god damn right! Everything worked out according to the plan… From the very beginning!”

“I shall give you a chance. Go down two steps and I’ll let you join my side again. But if you rather die, then climb those stairs”

“Are you really trying to shoot me? I like you”

“You can’t pay back what you owe with money”

“What are you doing!? Unforgivable!”

“I..I can’t lay a finger on [him]”

“I’m back from hell, [name]!”

“Do you remember how many breads you’ve eaten in your life?”

“Your upbringing made you a villain, you say? It didn’t! You’ve been evil since your birth!“

“I reject my humanity, [name]!”

“I’m curious. Why would you do that? What was the purpose behind it?”

“You picked the wrong man to mess with, pig!”

“What did you say? Depending on your answer, I may have to kick your ass!”

“Shut the hell up! You’re so damn annoying, you bitch!”

“Well, you’re about to fall down to hell, sobbing the whole way down”

“Good grief. I can’ let a kid who likes dogs… get killed!”

“W-who the hell are you!? Do you think you’re going to get a away with this?!”

“What the hell did you just say about my hair?!”

“Nice watch. I’m going to break it so you can never tell time again. Your face, that is”

“When I have to repeat something that only needs to be said once… It means that the listener is unintelligent. I’ve told you that I don’t have money, because I’ve already paid. Please, don’t make me repeat myself a third time”

“You should have realized it, right? When you try to kill others, you may end up being killed yourself”

“You said one can kill if [he] is humiliated? You’re right. It’s important indeed. You’ve insulted the life of the old man who had nothing to do with you at all!”

“If you don’t start talking, the torture will keep on escalating! You’ve seen the culprit… did they tell you to stay quiet?”

“Only the results! This world only remembers the results!”

“You bastard! Are you making fun of me?!”

“I’ve always… cherished you”

“Didn’t you once say that everything should have a name?”

“Trying to use the same move on me twice is a big mistake!”

“You’re just as good at coming up with bullshit as I am!”

“Dare you defeat me with such lackluster legerity?!”

“Just a little bit… one sip couldn’t hurt.”

[temporalenforcer]

breathofthefuture:

“WHO EVER SAID THAT’S YOUR LOOK, BITCH-” Oh, and now the evil Ibuki is flying outta there, with Ibuki classic shooting daggers at her.

“GET SET TO GET WRECKED, MOTHERFUCKER!” Oh jeez, now she’s going after her evil counterpart. Is this a cat fight or an Ibuki fight? Monkey fight? Either way, things are getting hectic.

“Of course it’s my look, what the fuck have you done to earn it? I eat people, what, you just cackle menacingly and shout about a demon god.”

The Majin grins, perfectly happy to watch the alternates tear each other apart. What a show!